Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Wednesday

Host: Keith Olbermann

Scheduled Topics/Guests:

Debbie Goes to Court - Savannah Guthrie (Court TV)
Rehashed NBC Republican Hit piece - David Gregory (NBC Correspondent)
Packers or Prison? - Mark Borchardt - Writer/Director

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guest: PENDING

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Hmmm. Keith to staff: "I want to appear more non-partisan. So- find me a republican who will come on this show. Wait. Better yet, find me a republican who is against Tom Delay. Yeah! That'll prove I cover both sides!" Enter (R) Christopher Shays. Delay is an embarresment etc...

Olby once again showing journalistic brilliance when he threw this non-partisan, non-biased, well thought out question to Shays:

Olby: "The republican party is not just shifting to the far right, but leaping there. Is that your sense?"

There's your proof. Olby doesn't let his feelings infect his questions!

As for Shays... let down. If you can't stand up to KO... you're in trouble. (remember that prediction)

David Gregory brought us a re-hashed NBC story (non-partisan in order to meet KO's journalistic standards) entitled "Republicans are more polarized". Need I explain this hit job? Republican in-fighting. Republicans can't agree on anything. Blah. Blah.

I am somewhat sure it was during this segment that sublimal messages were being flashed on my TV screen that kept saying Bush = Bad. Vote Democrat. I can't prove it, but I walked around mumbling "vote democrat" for about 5 minutes. Weird.

Savannah Guthrie (Court TV)was tapped to bring us our daily dose of Michael Jackson. The only good thing I can say about this was they didn't subject me to that MJ puppett theater B.S.

What is Countdown without the #1 "Top Story" of the day? I mean, we all watch to find out what is the most important thing KO has to report on. Once again, KO nails the story! Packers or Prison. Does the lady give up 12 tickets to a packers game or go to jail for 90 days? Let me just say ... I. WAS. RIVETED. What is the answer? I thought about all the news of the day, and I knew this was it. NOTHING could be more important than this decision. KO saved me with "this just in" - she chose to donate the tickets and bypass prison. Wow. The way he held me on the edge of my seat.

And then, the moment that nearly caused me to pass out.

Olby: "I just want to say that I lied on national TV and Johnny Dollar nailed me on. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

And if you belive that... I got some really cool moon rocks that I personally collected that I can sell you for the low, low cost of...

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Monday, April 25

Host: Keith Olbermann

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guests: Craig Crawford, Robin Wright

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: The lead story on The Hour of Spin is no surprise: Bill Frist and the filibuster. Olby framed it in this fashion:

The task at hand: repainting Senate politics in black and white. No gray allowed.

Hmmm, sounds an awful lot like the reporting on Countdown. And if you doubt that statement, Keith gives a classic example when introducing clips of Senators Leahy and Graham:

Members on both sides of the aisle taking offense to Senator Frists's threats and tactics: [clip of Leahy]...[clip of Graham]:
GRAHAM: I would call on them, not to go down the road of saying that the Democratic Senators are not people of faith or questioning their religious, that they're religious bigots. I don't think that helps the country and I don't think that's fair.

What Olby doesn't tell you about this clip of Graham, snipped from Fox News Sunday, is that, contrary to KO's false introduction, Graham was not talking about Senator Frist, his tactics, or his "threats":

GRAHAM: Sen Frist is going to go, and I think he's going to say the right things. He's going to say these people have been treated unfair. He's not going to question Senators' motives. I think he's going to have a very balanced view of this and not going to ratchet up the rhetoric. But the groups that we're talking about have been friendly to me and other Republicans, I would call on them, not to go down the road of saying...

How could Olby claim Graham was "taking issue" with Sen Frist's "tactics and threats"? Simple: he cut out the part where Graham praised Frist's statement, and ran the part where Graham was talking about groups, claiming it referred to Sen Frist when it manifestly did not. In other words, Olbermann lied.

Olby went out of his way to repeat the claim that Frist filibustered a Clinton judicial nominee, and quoted a Family Research Council leader as favoring filibusters some years ago. But he was even-handed enough to mention that Senators Leiberman and Kennedy once sponsored a bill that would allow for 51 votes to break a filibuster--NOT! Had you going there. Olby only mentions this sort of thing against the hypocritical Republicans. When the Democrats do it, it somehow doesn't become one of those stories you'll be talking about tomorrow. Olby then asked some smart-aleck questions of Craig Crawford, where he had to concede that people like Sen Schummer did in fact oppose the filibuster at one time.

The Hour of Spin continued with features on Michael Jackson (puppets) and the Japanese train wreck--but we couldn't take any more. This is an imitation newscast, presided over by a pretend journalist, who smugly sits with his wig firmly in place, and nothing under it. This over-compensating egotist takes every opportunity to lecture his more successful competitors about the evils of bias, partisanship, and accuracy--while his recklessly unbalanced reporting has turned MSNBC's flagship newshour into a repellent repast of crypto-liberal palaver. No wonder viewers desert the channel in droves when this vomitous dreck hits the air.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Thursday, April 21

Host: Keith Olbermann

Scheduled Topics/Guests: Pending.

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guest: PENDING

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Welcome to another edition of the far left slanted news by KO. Tonight's far left slant consisted in large part of the stories chosen to air---all stories that enable KO to criticize Bush, conservatives, or the GOP in one way or another.

He started out with the crash today of a plane in Iraq that killed six Americans by going back two years to an Iraqi nurse that said to Jay Garner, the first and short lived American administrator in Iraq, that the American troops presence wasn't a liberation, it was an occupation. This two year old bit related exactly not at all to anything else in the piece.

We then move on to the Bolton battle, where KO beat the bushes to find witnesses to refute some of the more petty charges of Bolton's angry outbursts---NOT. No, his whole tone was "this guy is going down, right?" to guest Jim VandeHei of the WaPo, and even Vandehei said, well, we don't know that yet.

On to Arnie, where he had the aggressively liberal Phil Bronstein, Exec VP of the San Francisco Chronicle on to tell us all that Arnie's apology about his recent faux pas calling for the Mexican border to close was insincere, and that it was code to his conservative supporters. Continuing his psychic reading of the Governator, Bronstein managed to somehow include Arnie's groping apology and all the apologies that he has ever made as more code to us conservatives, who now have gotten the secret message from our fearless leader Arnie. I've lost my decoder ring or otherwise I would fill you in on what the secret message is, but I'm sure that Phil Bronstein, our psychic newsman, will fill us in later.

Phil and KO were sure smiling at each other like the vast left wing conspirator cats who swallowed the bird. They really stuck it to Arnie. NOT.

Embarassingly dumb and biased news show, as usual. Look for Phil Bronstein to become one of KO's regulars.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Wednesday

Host: Keith Olbermann

Scheduled Topics/Guests:

Investgating Tom Delay - Lisa Myers, NBC News
Day One for Pope Benedict XVI - Keith Miller NBC News

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guest: PENDING

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Well.. No doubt about it, KO is back. Right out of the gate we are informed he has a 'OReilly countdown clock' on screen to let us know when the Bill O'Reilly 'hit piece' will run. Over the next 45 minutes, we are reminded about the clock 7 times!

First up, a re-run NBC story by Lisa Myers about Tom Delays battle in congress. KO then brings in Craig Crawford, who always seems to find a way to agree with KO. However, KO showed off his journalistic skills when he asked Crawford this very thoughtful question:

"He picks fights with judges, makes statements that are violent. Let me phrase the question this way - Is he just nuts?"

It must have taken a lot of journalism studies to learn to ask such probative questions.

As for Bolton, KO shows another flash of brilliance when he calmly states "he generally behaves as a madman."

Your liberal teachers would be so proud!

KO then ran a re-hashed NBC story by Keith Miller on Pope Benedict XVI's first day. After the piece by Miller, KO pulled one of the absolute worst 'olbyconvergence' moments I have ever documented. He actually found a way to tie the Pope to car bombings in Iraq. It goes like this:

"The blessings contained in the very name of Benedict, not yet granted to Iraq, specifically the granting of peace. Today four more car bombings and a roadside explosion in Bagdad sent smoke rising over the fortified green zone."

Deplorable. Dispicable.

For those keeping count, here is what we have currently learned:

Delay = Nuts
Bolton = Madman
Pope = car bombings

On our 8th reminder that KO is going to take a shot at Mr. Bill, he finally does. Andrea Mackries bought a new home. The story was just littered with loofah jokes. More proof of the steady decline in KO's claim to being a 'news anchor'.

Monica Novotny ends the pain with a short bit about grease powered cars. It was the #1 story of the night. Somewhat interesting, but more importantly, it shut KO up. We were able to go to the credit without any further KO rants.

'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Monday April 18, 2005

Host: Keith Olbermann

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guests: Msgr. Tom McSweeney, Howard Fineman, Linda Deutsch, Janet Paskin, Jim Raines

OLBYWATCH GUIDE:
Tom DeLay in trouble--New Trouble! So teased Olby at the top of the Hour of Spin, but the #5 story was the Papal conclave. To KO the Big Angle here was that the smoke looked white before it looked black. His other concern was whether Cardinal Ratzinger's homily was a campaign speech and did it "damage his candidacy". Yes, he actually treated this solemn occasion as if he were reporting on some Tamany Hall smoke-filled-room caucus of ward-healers. Guest Msgr McSweeney was considerably more tasteful, even in the face of propagandistic questioning from Olby, e.g.:

In the discussions, in the lobbying, is somebody saying the Church's well-being, its vitality, is being hurt in North America and in Europe because of a perceived gap between its teachings and the reality of secular life? And it's being thwarted in Africa because of AIDS and the Church's teachings about prophylactics.

On Planet Olby, the Church is responsible for AIDS because it does not favor the use of condoms. Left unexplained is why exactly KO thinks that people who don't listen to the Pope and have unrestricted sex, would suddenly start listening when he said it was OK to use a condom. It's hard to imagine how Olby's understanding of an issue could be any more shallow. And Keith has something much more offensive up his sleeve, but first things first:

#4: Tom DeLay. Keith reported on the "controversial" NRA speech where DeLay quoted an old joke about having armed friends, but to Olby that was another "violent undertone". After Chip Reid's NBC report, KO hauled in Howard Fineman and immediately jumped on the "armed friends" comment. Is this the "new trouble" that Olby teased at the top of the hour? A pretty thin bowl of soup, but that's nothing new for Keith.

The Oddball segment reported on a vehicle chase and a march of 3,000 prisoners clad only in pink underwear and shower shoes. More Olbywit:

The more dangerous criminals of course made the trip via an underground tunnel; they were dressed as members of the College of Cardinals. [Cue: The Laughing Stagehand]

#3: The Jackson trial. Of course. #2: An imposter sports reporter. (Note: not to be confused with a sports reporter who poses as a news anchor.) Some speculation about George W Bush becoming Commissioner of Baseball. And a plug for NBC taking over Sunday Night Football. In the break on DirecTV an ad ran for Nancy Grace on CNN-Headline News.

#1: Incredible! Papal Conclave Puppet Theater. [Cue: TLS] No, we're not making this up. Anyone with even a modicum of taste reached for the zapper the moment this demeaning insult began, so the discussion that followed about how to produce colored smoke was only for Olby's most demented sycophants.

KO once again on vacation.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Day Wednesday

Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guest: Probably real news and honest discussion

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Ever known someone to dodge a bullett three times? Well, I just landed my third straight Wednesday of NO KEITH! Wow, am I the lucky one!

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Tuesday, April 12

Host: Keith Olbermann

Scheduled Topics/Guests: Pending

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guest: PENDING

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: KO was in fine sarcastic and GOP bashing form tonight, starting with the story about Kerry and Lugar outing a CIA agent during Bolton testimony today. Turns out that the agents name had been mentioned publicly on a few occassions over the last ten years, so apparently no there there. But KO could not help drawing in the Plame case, his obvious reason for focusing so much on this non story. KO made the incredible claim that this Kerry and Lugar faux pas has received more publicity than the Plame case! Not hardly KO, this is a one day story that already died.

From there the show devolved into a Bush slam fest, a rather pathetic and disgusting one at that. Along with guest Lewis Black, a man who apparently could care less about anyone, Bush's choice of songs for his IPOD were described as something a brain dead person would have, that there must be a tape on his song list saying over and over "you are the best", and oh, but he also has My Sharona which has the "dirtiest song lyrics ever". I guess there is no too low and petty you can go in hating Bush.

KO agreed with Black that Bush was unseemly in "patting himself on the back" over the anniversary of Saddam's statute falling in Iraq, where Bush commemorated this seminal event today in Iraq. KO did mention, however, that he shouldn't say that, because after all this was a "news" show. Could have fooled me.

The rest of the show consisted of either silly stuff like the Michael Jackson trial a la KO, or straight news written by someone else from NBC. However, KO did manage to end on a bright note when he announced that he would be on vacation for the next three days and Alison would be taking over.

'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Monday April 11, 2005

Host: Keith Olbermann

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guests: Pat Buchanan, Jayne Meyer, Savannah Guthrie, Nancy Argenziano, Richard Mineards

OLBYWATCH GUIDE:
There's been some speculation that Olby had moderated the blatant partisanship in his Hour of Spin, but tonight there were signs that the Old Olbermann is not so far off after all. Story #5 made a weird Olbyconvergence between exterminating cats and The Exterminator: Tom DeLay. Yes, the biggest, most-important news story of the day. KO began in classic Olby fashion:

DeLay, criticized both by his fellow arch-conservative Sen Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania and the much more moderate Republican, Congressman Chris Shays.

When was the last time Olby referred to anyone in Congress as an arch-liberal? Keith reads two lengthy quotes from Shays (natch) and plays a soundbite from Santorum. But this is odd: Olby then brings on Pat Buchanan--how did he permit that booking? Buchanan actually provided balance despite KO's leading questions.

After a few short DC-based bits, Olby returns to stray cats being exterminated in Wisconsin. Jayne Meyer pontificated on this vital issue.

#4: Gas prices are at their peak, unless they go higher. (The Laughing Stagehand--hereafter TLS--has never sounded phonier.) A recycled NBC report on crash tests. The Oddball segment shows Olby can't let go of anything:

It's Rick Santorum's worst nightmare realized: pandas mating. [Cue: TLS]

#3: The Michael Jackson case: CourtTV's Savannah Guthrie expounds. (Thankfully the puppets seem to have been given the night off.) Sen Nancy Argenziano explains how to tighten criminal laws in the wake of the Jessica Lunsford case.

#2: A Theme for today's show is starting to emerge: Animal Night! The need to kill off an infestation of frogs in Australia, and an internet site about people threatening to eat a rabbit (NBC taped report). Olby sings "Kill the Wabbit". [Cue: TLS]

#1: Desperate Royal Housewives. Olby can't resist:

Their future King's wedding finished third in Britain behind a soap-opera wedding and a horse race. Well let's not get too carried away by the ratings. People watch Bill O'Reilly for God's sake. You know what they say, 800 billion flies can't be wrong. [Cue: TLS]

Finally, it's time for '24', where such questions as whether President Keeler will survive the missile attack on Air Force One seem of monumental import compared to the noxious trivia that made up the majority of tonight's Countdown. And it's a pretty safe bet none of the '24' stagehands will be annoying the viewer with calculated counterfeit cackling.

Joanne Ostrow, Denver Post TV Critic, loves KO. She writes:

Count CNBC's Keith Olbermann among the best at vamping intelligently and interviewing authors, statesmen and theologians. Consider CNN's Nancy Grace among the worst; she made Larry King look like a sensitive wise man.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Wednesday April 6, 2005

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Scheduled Topics/Guests:

JIMMY CARTER NOT PART OF U.S. DELEGATION HEADING TO POPE'S FUNERAL: Douglas Brinkley, NBC News analyst and presidential historian

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: TRANSCRIPT PENDING
Guest: PENDING

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: No Keith tonight!

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Tuesday April 5, 2005

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Scheduled Topics/Guests:

POPE NEWS OF THE DAY: Chris Jansing, MSNCBC anchor and correspondent

WHO ARE THE NEXT CANDIDATES TO SUCCEED AS POPE?: Father Anthony Figueiredo, Pope John Paul II's former assistant and MSNBC analyst

INSIDE THE JACKSON COURTROOM: Savannah Guthrie, Court TV reporter

"DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" PHOTO SHOOT TURNS INTO A CATFIGHT: Tom O' Neil, In Touch Weekly magazine

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: 12:52 p.m. ET April 6, 2005
Guest: Anthony Figueiredo, Robert Ashton, Anne Bremner, Savannah Guthrie, Tom O’Neil

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Yikes! Another day of straight news from MSNBC at the 8 o'clock (EST) hour. Friday was coverage of the Pope's death, Monday was a real oddball segment - Keith doing actual straight up new anchor stuff, and now Alison Stewart. At this rate OlbermannWatch is going to be out of business.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for Monday April 4, 2005

Host: Keith Olbermann

Scheduled Topics/Guests:

POPE NEWS OF THE DAY: Chris Jansing, MSNBC anchor and correspondent

WHO IS THE MYSTERY CARDINAL?: Sister Sharon Eurant, president, Canon Law Society

Read the transcript to the 8 p.m. ET show
Updated: 3:30 p.m. ET April 5, 2005
Guest: Sharon Euart, Jean Carnahan

OLBYWATCH GUIDE: Tonight's broadcast was a rare example of how good Keith Olbermann can be when there is something serious to report. His coverage of the death of Pope John Paul II continues to be excellent, his interviews sincere and to the point and devoid of snark. Even his brief foray into the political - a new vote reform commission and the Delay matter - were only half-hearted. The focus tonight was where it belonged, on the Pope, and Keith brought his A game.