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If Karl Rove sneezed on his way into the White House, that would be the lead story (#5 in their backwards count) on the Hour of Spin. Olby is grasping at every straw in order to keep this investigation at the top of every show. On Wednesday night, Keith didn't have anything as verifiable as a sneeze. No, it was another Big Story from another anonymous source. At least this time he went with the New York Daily News instead of Raw Story.
It's a "bombshell", gloated Olby: a source told the paper that some time ago Bush had chewed out Rove for the leak scandal. Immediately KO put on his track shoes and laid out his series of logical leaps, complete with on-screen graphics:
So in comes Jim Vandehei of the Washington Post, and Olby all but drools over the possibilities:
Does it, if correct, tip over, generally speaking, a house of cards here? I mean, could everybody from Mr McClellan to Mr Rove to the President be inescapably described as having lied, in some way, during this, or even with this story, even with that idea, that it could be true, is it still all more nuanced than that?
Do those sentences, if transcribed accurately, per se, strike anyone, generally speaking, as being inescapably describable, even by many, as, in some way, preposterously pretentious and, even with that idea, unnecessarily wordy, yet, in a sense, just, ipso facto, plain horrible English usage? Oh no, he's got me doing it now!
Mr Vandehei had a pin ready for Olby's balloon:
What we have to deal with is the facts that we know...it's a confusing enough case to not go down these roads that we don't even know are accurate.
But Keith had a Plan B. What about that New York Times report that Fitzgerald isn't going to issue a report? Doesn't that show he's going to indict someone? Once again Vandehei set Olby straight. Fitzgerald wasn't appointed under the old special prosecutor law, which expired some time ago. Under the old law they could issue public reports; under current law, he's just another Federal DA and if he gives anyone a report to anyone it's to his boss the AG, not the public. Then again, maybe Mr Vandehei was just trying to get Olby to Stop Talking!
Next it was time for another fawning profile of Fitzgerald. After all, Olby hasn't run one all week. This time the descriptions were even more flowery:
Keith cut this report short to make note that a warrant has been issued for Tom DeLay to report to a Fort Bend jail for booking. Olby didn't mention that the issuance of the warrant was a purely political move, since DeLay and his attorneys already had an agreement to present themselves when required. After a few anti-Miers words, there's finally a commercial break.
In the next slot, it's Saddam's trial, which Olby teases as follows:
Legal arguments with the judges. Can he get a fair trial?
Keith--as always--in perfect sync with the daily talking points of the left wing press. He brings in Paul Williams of the American University, who patiently explains to Olby that the Iraqi people, Saddam's victims, have a right to their day in court. KO wasn't about to take that lying down:
The US premise of going in there is at least questioned now; the new Iraqi government was, at best, co-birthed by Iraqis and Americans. Would this process, theoretically, not have been more legitimate at the World Court, at the Hague, even subtracting from the equation the idea of Iraqis getting their day in court, symbolically?
Yikes! Somebody put a cork in him! Williams replied to Olby's Niagara of verbiage in a far more direct manner:
It has now essentially become an all Iraqi Tribunal. There were crimes committed against the international community, but the victims of the crimes are the Iraqis themselves.... The Iraqis are perfectly capable of giving Saddam a fair trial and his day in court.
Olby made a few more weak tries at disparaging the first day of the trial, but the good Professor cut him down on every point. So Keith was reduced to Saddam Hussein Puppet Theater. Fast Forward.
The #3 story marked the return of the FEMA-bashing segment. Read the transcript if you care--most of it was taped so at least you won't have to work your way through a tortured maze of convoluted OlbyGrammar. #2: somebody won a jackpot and it hasn't gone well for him. Keith did a little piece on William Shatner, and made fun of how Shatner speaks. #1 was about a David Copperfield publicity stunt.
Runner-up for "worst persons in the world": Living Proof Christian Broadcasting. The winner? Those "right wing nuts" at Sinclair Broadcasting. Rhetorical question: has Olby ever identified any "left wing nuts", let alone honored them with "worst person" status? Send all replies to notinthislifetime.com.