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Monday's Countdown had a predictable spin on the immigration debate: it's bad for Republicans. That's no surprise coming from Keith, and so it was not exactly a shocker to hear the ever-flexible Howard Fineman echo that take. Howie twice referenced Republicans trying to "criminalize" illegal immigration. Um, Mr Fineman? Illegal immigration is already a crime. That's why they call it "illegal".
In another indication of the ever-increasing influence of Olbermann Watch, Olby was forced to report some of last week's news: Hillary Clinton's immigration comments, which KO developed into a "what would Jesus do" formulation. Other politicians have raised that question regarding abortion, gay marriage, or a myriad of social issues, but they never received the fawning approval of Fineman and his Giupetto, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann.
Then KO moved on to his other Big Story, another one of those memos that he finds so conclusively authentic (unlike the ones found in Iraq, which he simply ignores). This one said President Bush and Tony Blair had pretty much decided to go to war in January. Really? No kidding? Of course, Olby had to morph this little story into a personal smear:
It was only last week that President Bush could be heard, in the tone of voice that might be the verbal equivalent of wagging the finger, "No President wants war," he said. Tonight, more evidence to suggest, at least in his case, that might not have been true.
To pull off this non sequitur, it's necessary for KO to expect his gullible viewers to overlook a key point: a decision to go to war and a desire to go to war are two different things. See Keith, it's like this. You can say the President decided war was inevitable, based on this piece of paper. But in every war, there is a date when the decision is made that war is inevitable. Does this mean that every one of those Presidents really wanted nothing more than to get into a shootin' war, and if they say otherwise they are lying? Here's a hint to the answer to that question: NO!
In the #4 slot, a recycled NBC report dealt with port security. And Olby finally got around to mentioning the Moussaoui trial again. Of course it was only a few sentences. Anything more and people might remember how KO ridiculed the prosecutor and the government, never telling his audience that the Judge reversed herself to grant the prosecutor's request for additional witnesses. After "oddball", the "top 3 newsmakers" included a mention of Tom DeLay. Say, would this be the Novak report that Abramoff has no information whatsoever for prosecutors that would implicate DeLay? You know, the Great Scandal that Krazy Keith has been telling us has Tom shaking in his boots? Umm, no, it was something about a concealed weapons permit. The Abramoff case only gets Olby's attention when it suits him, and Novak is never cited except when he's critical of Republicans.
Halfway through The Hour of Spin, and we're into sports news and the murdered preacher. After the nightly serving of celebrity gossip, it's time for another visit to the Countdown archives for news not from yesterday, or even last week. Olby set the Time Tunnel for February (so long ago that what we're getting is more history than news), as he went back to the Michael Schiavo well, regurgitating once again his hard-hitting, provocative interview, taped some seven weeks ago. KO kept calling this Schiavo's "first cable interview", pretending like he had never aired part of it before. Which he did, back in early February, only to be slapped down by NBC President Steve Capus, who ordered him to hold it until the Today Show interview ran. Schiavo ticked off the people who crossed him by not agreeing with his desire to pull the plug on his wife:
There were "worst persons" as well: an indicted Massachusetts Republican was a runner-up. Jerome Corsi, the Swift Boat coauthor, was "worst", admitting that one of his columns was heavily cribbed from a Debbie Schlussel column. But wait. Is this not old news as well? Indeed it is, almost a month old. Why does it make today's "worst person" list? Perhaps because it was just now that the blue blogs decided to flog the story, and the only blogs Keith reads are the blue ones. Besides, he needed a conservative for the "worst" slot, so he found one, even if he had to go 28 days back in time to do so.
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 40th day of the Keith Olbermann CoverUp.