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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's Monday, Keith is back from vacation, and we're turning over a new leaf. No more negativity and cynical criticism of the man who is "the future of television". It's time to focus on the positive about
Krazy Keith Mr Olbermann.
Mr Olbermann mentioned in passing the Zarqawi documents, noting:
Accepting both possibilities, that it was all too good to be true, or that it really was true and just convenient...
He summarized the case of the kidnapped soldiers, gave a briefing on the possible launch of a North Korean missile, then went to Dana Milbank from the esteemed Washington Post to discuss the "domestic fallout". Mr Olbermann wanted to know:
Given how upbeat the President was last week after Zarqawi was eliminated, how self-congratulatory his supporters were...did the kidnapping just burst that Iraq optimism bubble of last week?
Mr Olbermann also asked about the White House "spin" of criticizing media coverage:
Does it wash any more? Does it resonate in, in, with the American public, at any, to any degree?
He asked about Vice-President Cheney, who thought that with the new government in Iraq, the insurgency very well could be in its "last throes":
Should not he get hammered for that? Is this remark by the Vice-President not patently ridiculous?
What better evidence of the fairness of Keith Olbermann could the critics possibly desire than his fair, even-handed questioning of Mr Milbank?
A taped report on the New York subway plot followed, with Mr Olbermann wondering why the threat wasn't made public. Of course Mr Olbermann's complaints in the past have been about too many terror threats being made public. His about-face on this issue just proves again how fair and balanced he really is. Or does it show inconsistency or hypocrisy? No, we must not think those negative thoughts.
In the #4 position, the floods in Houston, via a taped NBC report. Then "oddball", followed by a segment on global warming. Al Gore, who did his extended interview with Larry King last week, was Mr Olbermann's guest.
We hope Mr Gore's appearance puts to rest all that hateful talk about how Countdown doesn't present all points of view and shuts out Republicans and conservatives. In fact, to settle the issue once and for all, we made a list of the politicians and political strategists that Countdown has interviewed over the past several weeks:
Oh. We really wanted to see a more balanced list than that. No, we must be positive. Olbermann compared global warming skeptics to flat-earthers, and suggested the opposition to Gore's position was based on Biblical fundamentalism ("the earth is only 10,000 years old anyway"). Keith tossed in a couple of quotes from people who didn't believe in Gore's theories, but the Veep dismissed them (twice, with virtually identical wording each time) as "outliers" who are funded by "front groups" funded by "polluters who want to confuse people". After all, who would want to believe these stuffy professors when Dr Gore has spoken?
"Hurricane Katrina was a wake-up call", even though Dr Max Mayfield of the National Hurricane Center, the chief meteorologist of AccuWeather (Joe Bastardi), and Professor William Gray of Colorado State University have all ridiculed any connection between recent hurricanes and global warming. They're all being paid by polluters to confuse people, no doubt. Uh-oh. We're having a hard time maintaining this new attitude.
Keith Olbermann was obviously prescient when he predicted weeks ago that Gore's movie would be a huge smash:
Get Al Gore's star ready for the walk of fame.... The former vice president truly packing them in. "An Inconvenient Truth" jumped from 22nd to 9th place when it expanded, from four screens nationwide to 77 and that roll out, no doubt, far from over.
Since then, it expanded to 404 theaters, and sure enough, it has rocketed up the charts from 9th to...12th. It grossed $623,000 on Sunday. ("Cars" grossed $11,610,000.) Perhaps Olby needs to run the trailer, uncut and for free, a few more times on Countdown to get ticket sales up. Then again, maybe this movie's runaway smash status is something like the continuing, growing outrage over Bill O'Reilly and Maldemy (the grand total of four Yahoo News items on this escalating fury has now dwindled to three). Man, we are really recidivating now.
The #2 slot was a recycled NBC report on bullies on school buses, Caught on Tape! Then Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Brittney Spears, and internet Star Trek stories.
In the Media Matters Minute, Tom Shales was a runner-up for commenting that Robin Roberts was "too butch". Said Olby:
Maybe he should cut back on the gratuitous, loaded insults like "too butch".
Are those anything like the gratuitous, loaded insults about Ann Coulter? Such as:
She's not as talented as Michael Moore, and she's not as attractive.
Appearing in "Playboy" and getting divorced, neither of those being scenarios Ann Coulter is ever going to have to deal with in her life.
Or the gratuitous, loaded insults about Ms Coulter's private parts, or telling people they should perform a certain anonatomical activity with their mother?
OK, we can't take it any more! There's no way we can sustain this facade about the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann--who thinks he can throw around insults like confetti at a parade, but nobody else can. What about The Olbermann Letters, huh, Krazy? If we can hear about loofahs and falafels for months, why can't we hear about The Olbermann Letters? Ah, that felt good.
KO's choice for "worst person": Cal Thomas, for these comments. Exactly why this makes Thomas "worst person" was left unexplained. Oh wait, because Media Matters ran it. Right, we forgot.
And that's The Hour of Spin for this, the 122nd day of the Keith Olbermann CoverUp. And the magic number is still five.