"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• SEN. BARBARA BOXER (D-CALIF.) SAYS PRES. BUSH SHOULD FIRE SEC. RUMSFELD: Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.)
• PRES. BUSH SPEAKS IN SALT LAKE CITY AS PART OF OFFENSIVE ON WAR ON TERROR: Dana Milbank, Washington Post
• PROTESTING BUSH: Mayor Rocky Anderson, Salt Lake City, Utah
• REACTION TO SEC. RUMSFELD'S COMMENTS: John Dean, fmr. Nixon White House counsel
• YOU'RE FIRED - RADIO SHACK FIRED 400 EMPLOYEES BY SENDING THEM EMAILS; TRUMP FIRED CAROLYN KEPCHER: Michael Musto, Village Voice

Keith Olbermann launched into his carnival pitchman's spiel with unusual gusto, perhaps bouyed by the fact that Countdown was now flogging an old news story for the 3rd day. Rummy, of course, and again Olby lied about what Rumsfeld said:

In the wake of his speech against your right to dissent.

KO launched the show proper by saying that "Mister" Bush [1] was "expanding" on Rumsfeld's theme and promoting the troika of repetitive unanimity that were to be his "guests". He quoted from "Mister" Bush [2] and showed a few clips (carefully edited to remove as much audience reaction as possible). A reference to the Brian Williams interview with "Mister" Bush [3] was used to criticize the President for insisting that the Iraq war is in fact part of the war on terror. Olby noted that "Mister" Bush [4] did not use Rumsfeld's description of critics as "confused"--again Olbermann misrepresents what Rummy said, but on The Hour of Spin, that's hardly news.

What a great lead in for the first of KO's "top newsmakers": Barbara Boxer, who is about to introduce a non-binding resolution asking for Rummy to be shown the door. That makes it about as significant as a resolution establishing National Kumquat Week. The BB-gun said Rumsfeld "has just gone too far", then added "this is just too far". We kind of get the idea that it's too far. After all, the Secretary of Defense "attacked the American people". Olby wanted to know what's the impact of such a resolution, and BB rambled on about Iraq, UBL, and so forth. For his part, Keith, world renowned for his tough, non-nonsense interview style, honed in on the BB-gun with laser-like precision:

The administration also insisted again today that nothing in Mr Rumsfeld's speech Tuesday was about stifling dissent, not even the part about those who disagree with the administration being morally or intellectually confused. Do you buy that?

Then it was on to Bush's speech, and more relentless grilling:

There are several parts of that address that a Professor of logic might be able to drive a truck through.... Is that not just nonsense?

A challenging, thought-provoking question! Truly another Countdown Edward R Murrow Moment. For the record, the BB-gun's response was yes, it's total nonsense. Bush is trying to "scare the American people", and off she went into a string of talking points eerily reminiscent of ones spouted just 24 hours ago by Dr Dean. But the tough interrogation wasn't over yet. Edward R Olbermann had one more incisive, probing query:

Senator have you or your colleagues in the Senate or the Democratic Party, at any point, ever suggested not fighting terrorists in other parts of the world?

She rambled on so long that there wasn't even time for another of KO's sharply barbed inquiries, but she got "great thanks" anyhow, as did the "literally thousands" who responded to his Wednesday night diatribe. Then a teaser involving "Mister" Bush [5] to lead into commercial break #1 ("Countdown is brought to you by Dish Network").

The #4 story began with a bit of OlbyLogic: Utah is a red state, but the mayor of its largest city protested Bush's visit, so that raises questions about the President's "core support". Um, not if the mayor is a self-described Democrat, and the city actually voted for Kerry in 2004 (KO eventually admitted the latter, but not the former). Just by coincidence, Mayor Rocky brought up the Rumsfeld "confusion" meme, along with illegal war, immoral war, Bush is a liar, his "neocon advisors" too, and so forth. It was music to Olby's ears. Question: will Rocky get a "great thanks"? Ding! After all, he did thank Krazy Keith for his "great statement yesterday". We're going to need hip boots if this gets any deeper.

Time to update The List (partisan politicos and strategists interviewed on Countdown, identified by party):

• May 22: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• May 30: Rep Barney Frank (D)
• June 9: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 15: Bob Schrum (D)
• June 16: Rep John Murtha (D)
• June 19: Al Gore (D)
• June 20: Sen Jack Reed (D)
• June 20: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 23: Al Gore (D)
• July 5: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 12: Barbara Boxer (D)
• July 13: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 26: Bill Richardson (D)
• August 8: Daily Kos (D)
• August 9: Joe Trippi (D)
• August 30: Howard Dean (D)
• August 31: Barbara Boxer (D)
• August 31: Rocky Anderson (D)

After oddball, it was Rumsfeld Day 3, and "why this continues to resonate". Could that just possibly be because the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann has been flogging it day after day? Once again he played the same edited clip he used yesterday, slicing out the part where Rummy was referring to terror battlefronts everywhere except Iraq, to "prove", see, he was talking about Iraq. After another reference to "Mister" Bush [6], it was time for the third of KO's ideological triplets. Disbarred lawyer John Dean had the honor of the "Curly" slot, and Olby launched right in, referencing "semantical dilettantism". KO framed another incredibly probing question by noting that Rumsfeld was "seriously misjudging the playing field and overreaching":

Did he do that in this speech?

It will surprise no one that the ex-con thought it to be "textbook authoritarianism". Olby had him on the ropes now! Time for another killer inquiry:

Can there be, in your opinion, a bigger or broader danger to our democracy than when the very notion of debates, never mind the particulars of debate, becomes not just anathema to the leaders, but is no longer seen as a requirement for the very survival of the Democracy?

Dont' try to diagram that sentence. KO also wanted to know why Rumsfeld wants to "throw dissent under the bus". (Because on OlbyPlanet the rule is Democrats can criticize Republicans, but the reverse is fascism.) The felon chuckled and said, with a straight face, "good question". Good question?!? No wonder he was disbarred. Then more OlbyLogic on parade:

He had conflated the cold war with the fascists, with Mussolini, with, with, uh Hitler, uh, it, it really is, uh, uh, is there anything to be gained by exaggerating a threat like this, by, by, by putting it in terms of, of apocalypse?

After "great thanks" to the ex-con and a sentimental trip down memory lane (ballots in Ohio), came the most welcome commercial break in the history of television. The rest of The Hour of Spin sped by: storms, Kevin Federline, stolen paintings, Donald Trump, and the inimitable Michael Musto. The latter was so daring as to make a joke about men who like "younger women" right to Olbermann's face. In the Media Matters Minute, it was a trifecta: Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Conrad Burns (R). This is the segment Keith Olbermann insists is "nonpartisan".

Krazy Keith's scheme to make ratings headway Wednesday night wasn't exactly a roaring success. Even with Mr Bill O'Reilly on vacation, KO found himself mired in fourth place in both total viewers and his beloved key demo. Today's blue blogapalooza will doubtless fare no better--after all, tonight the MisterMeter only went to "6".

I would like to make a special comment on Olby's recent Rummy rant...

While I appreciate the effort of some to make sense out of KO's recent special comment on Countdown last night my advice to Olby Watch readers is "don't bother". First, keep in mind that this "deep analysis" is coming from an individual who runs around in a raincoat doing bad Peter Finch impersonations and presenting news commentary in the form of hand puppets while screaming to any TV critic who will listen how he wants to be taken seriously. Second, the internal logic of Olby's diatribe will make your head spin; for claiming that there is a threat greater than "some" will acknowledge Olby compares Bush to Neville Chamberlain when the historical analogy he goes on to present suggests that the only appropriate comparison is between Bush and Churchill not Chamberlain. Olby goes on to praise Chamberlain Churchill for defying those who would label him a war monger while advancing the notion that Bush and Rumsfeld are war mongers who waged an "unnecessary" war in Iraq.

What I not heard discussed here or on some of the sites who have been linking here (Huffington Post, HotAir, National Review, Crooks and Liars, Newsbusters, Free Republic, KXMA/Say Anything, Pink Flamingo Bar, The Guardian UK, Sister Toldjah, Balloon Juice, INDCJournal, etc.) is WHY the radical left and their pals in the MSM (despite his anemic ratings I include Olbermann due to his affiliation with NBC News) are distorting what Rumsfeld said during his Tuesday speech to the American Legion convention in Utah.

So just why is the Loony Left working itself into a tizzy over Rumsfeld's speech? Why have they transformed Rumsfeld's actual words in order to characterize his attempt to defend Bush policies with the "destruction of our freedoms". When Olbermann quotes Murrow's line "We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty" which line of Rumseld's speech does he have in mind? I will save you the trouble of looking - none.

The issue is not what Rumsfeld SAID but the belief which formed the basis for his remarks - that the United States is at war, that our enemy is not some amorphous conglomeration of religious whackos, but a well-organized, well-financed and determined enemy bent on killing every American and, for that matter, every person who does not accept the Muslim faith - and does so on their terms alone. And that belief, for the far left, is a very dangerous notion because it undermines the rationale for their ongoing criticism of Bush policies ranging from the Patriot Act to keeping al Qaeda prisoners in Guantanamo Bay to domestic surveillance of terror suspects to the SWIFT monitoring program to eavesdropping on phone calls into the U.S.

This, in turn, explains, the aggressive response to Rumseld's speech. The far left and the Democratic Party they seek to control, is intent on nationalizing this year's Congressional elections and doing so on the issue of Iraq. Having been burned so many times in the past by Bush, Rove and the rest of the Republican political machine they are determined not to let the GOP establish the terms of the debate this fall. They believe they have learned their lesson and. this time, are going to escape the label of being "soft" on terrorism by characterizing any attempt to shift the debate to the global war on terror as "censorship".

If this is the best they can do then you can expect the Dems to once again prove themselves their own worst enemy in '06. I, for one, do not believe that the American people are going to accept the notion of giving power to Democrats unless and until they are able to articulate a coherent, independent strategy for fighting the war on terror that goes the simplistic Bush-bashing formula that has failed then so spectacularly in the past.

That Olbermann is a full participant in what is clearly a coordinated response to Rumfeld's speech only serves to highlight his desire to serve as a tool for the far-left. Unfortunately for Keith, more people watched KO's rant on YouTube and Crooks and Liars than bothered to watch his show.

Perhaps TVNewser should consider adding each downloaded video to KO's ratings?

UPDATE: Normally I link to sites mentioning Olbermann in the Del.icio.us Mini-Blog (scroll down right rail on home page) but there have been so many blog posts about Olbermann's Rummy Rant that I am going to save myself time and link a bunch of them right here:

Huffington Post: Olbermann vs. Rumsfeld: Defining the Real "New Fascism"
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann reminded us why it is so great to be an American.

Crooks and Liars: Keith Olbermann Delivers One Hell Of a Commentary on Rumsfeld
Keith had some very choice words about Rumsfeld's "fascism" comments tonight. Watch it, save it and share it.

TalkLeft: Olbermann's Passionate Commentary on Rumseld

Daily Kos: Olbermann's Condemnation of Rumsfeld
By the time Keith Olbermann finished his response to Rumsfeld, I was close to tears.

Balloon Juice: A Dated Mindset
the appropriate response from Keith Olbermann

Blue Star Chronicles: Olbermann's Obfuscation
if Rumsfeld made that many people mad, he must be doing something right.

Firedoglake: Special SHUT EM SHUT EM DOWN!! Edition

Eschaton: Olbermann

No Quarter: Olbermann Our New Murrow
If you missed Keith Olbermann's commentary on Donald Rumsfeld's accusation that Americans who criticize the Bush Policy in Iraq are basically traitors, then you missed a chance to witness history. Olbermann's courage and genius should be celebrated and cherished. God bless him. The man has a set of stones.

Relevant Torture: We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty
This is why we love Keith Olbermann. Everything else is just icing.

Double Speak: Olbermann on Rumsfeld
Please take 6 minutes and 41 seconds of your day and watch this video. And then take a few more minutes to send it to friends, family, and anyone who might need a bit of the light of reality shown into their world.

Question Everything: KEITH OLBERMANN DELIVERS ONE HELL OF A COMMENTARY ON RUMSFELD
Keith had some very choice words about Rumsfeld's "fascism" comments tonight. Watch it, save it and share it.

Doug Krile: Olbermann Redux
It deserves a second look.

The Left Coaster: Open Thread - Channeling Murrow Edition
Keith Olbermann stepped into Edward R. Murrow’s shoes for a night with a devastating critique of Rummy and the Bush Administration.

Why We Worry: Olbermann's great speech
I hope the internet coverage of this speech gives him a well deserved spike in the ratings.

Outside the Beltway: Keith Olbermann Blasts Rumsfeld American Legion Speech
even when he's on the right side of an issue, he goes so far over the top as to make his target look good by comparison.

Transafixion: Olbermann on Today's Fascism
he doesn't hold back

TruthDig: Olbermann Puts Rumsfeld to Shame
Keith Olbermann delivered a masterful retort on Wednesday to Donald Rumsfeld's recent diatribe on fascism.

Davebgimp: The best smackdown ever
i had chills reading the transcript

Metadish: Putting Rummy In His Place
Keith Olbermann was absolutely brilliant last night.

Yirmumah: Thus Spoke Olbermann
If you're not doing so, you should think about getting your news at 8pm on MSNBC.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• RUMSFELD SPEAKS: John Dean, Democratic National Committee
• POLITICS AND THE GREAT LEAK CASE: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek

What does it take for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann to interrupt his vacation? If you think the answer is Donald Rumsfeld, think again. Countdown did their "analysis" of his speech with E.J. Dionne on Tuesday. So why did Krazy Keith show up tonight to attack Rummy over yesterday's news?

Perhaps numbers tell the story. After bragging about how he is in second place in the "key demo", the August numbers show the trend that began months ago still continues. Olby is a poor, distant third (far behind his nemesis Mr Bill, and Paula Zahn for crying out loud) with viewers 25-54. And you don't want to mention total audience to Krazy Keith, where his dismal showing finds him in fourth place, with even the hyperbolic Nancy Grace attracting more viewers. What's a discredited sports guy to do?

That's where the second element enters the mix. The blue blogs have gone ballistic over Rummy's comments to the American Legion, and KO, if nothing else, is a consummate opportunist. What better way to inch his way back into Nielsen relevance than a high-profile, uber-hyped Rumsfeld blitz, expressly fashioned for the thousands (well, hundreds maybe) of Kossacks and Huffers? They'll reward him with free publicity, and that will reinvigorate his core audience. Maybe even MoveOn.org will do another viewership drive to save his scalp.

And the timing is ideal. Bill O'Reilly is off this week. This will be KO's big break! So it was that emails went out to the bluest bloggers, Olby promoted the assault on his low-rated radio program, and even got one of his hapless interns to stick something in his all-but-abandoned "blog". Olbermann's back, in style!

The opening spiel featured, of course, Rumsfeld, but also made note of Brian Williams's interview with "Mister" Bush [1] (code phrasing for the Black Box buffoons). It didn't take long for Herr Olbermann to falsify what Rumsfeld said, hyping that he would be offering:

A special comment on his attack on your right to disagree.

Don't waste your time looking through Rummy's speech for where he said there should be no right to disagree. It ain't there. Olby made it a twofer, introducing a clip with this:

Secretary Rumsfeld compared critics of the current war in Iraq to those who tried to appease Adolf Hitler and the Nazis before World War II.

The clip of Rummy began thusly:

once again we face similar challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism.... But some seem not to have learned history's lessons.

Ah, the magic of editing. Krazy Keith wants his credulous cretins to take Rumsfeld's comments as relating to "critics of the current war in Iraq". But note those ellipses. What did Olby snip out of the clip?

Today -- another enemy, a different kind of enemy -- has made clear its intentions with attacks in places like New York and Washington, D.C., Bali, London, Madrid, Moscow and so many other places.

Remember, Olby has been whining for months about how Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror. So when Rummy says something about the war on terror, mentioning a number of battlefronts but not Iraq, KO doctors the quote and claims it was all about Iraq. The Hour of Spin, indeed.

Olby went on to reference "Mister" Bush [3] twice [4] in one sentence, talked about bombings in Iraq, then brought on his guest of honor, Dr Howard Dean. KO asked if it's possible to have Rumsfeld impeached, while Dizzy Dean spewed Kossian talking points. Another Keith reference to "Mister" Bush [5] led Dean into talking about the "war on the middle class", as Herr Olbermann permitted his guest to give a campaign commercial for the DNC. Keith then suggested that Democrats are too "tentative" in their opposition to the evil Bush administration--another bit of penetrating analysis from the "nonpartisan" Countdown "anchorman".

Next Keith brought on the chairman of the RNC to give the opposing point of view. Hahahahahaaaaa! ROFL! Keith present two points of view? Not on OlbyPlanet. Our latest update of The List (partisan politicos and strategists interviewed on Countdown, identified by party):

• May 22: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• May 30: Rep Barney Frank (D)
• June 9: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 15: Bob Schrum (D)
• June 16: Rep John Murtha (D)
• June 19: Al Gore (D)
• June 20: Sen Jack Reed (D)
• June 20: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 23: Al Gore (D)
• July 5: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 12: Barbara Boxer (D)
• July 13: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 26: Bill Richardson (D)
• August 8: Daily Kos (D)
• August 9: Joe Trippi (D)
• August 30: John Dean (D)

Fair and balanced KO then swerved into the "purported" terror plot in the UK. He noted that "15 have been charged": more artful OlbySpin, since three more were charged today. But rather than report that, he just tosses off the total number, hoping that no one will notice that more and more charges are filed as the investigation continues. Again he says the "alleged" plotters were not prepared to strike at the time of their arrest. Even here, Olby doesn't tell the whole truth. The key element in the timing of the arrest was the intercepted message from Pakistan: "Do your attacks now". For all his tin-foiling about why the arrests were made when they were, has Keith Olbermann ever once reported this salient fact? He sure didn't mention it tonight.

After two teases for his "special comment" on Rumsfeld and Brian Williams with "Mister" Bush [6,7], KO was back with the #4 story. It was part two of Brian Williams and "Mister" Bush [8], like part one a rerun recycled from NBC. The #3 story was The Great Leak Case, where all the Rovian plots to discredit people crumbled because it was Richard Armitage, a critic of the Iraq war, who was the infamous leaker. Olby lied that the President spoke "bogus information" in the State of the Union speech, then made fun of Stephen Hayes, who will write Cheney's official biography. The Wolffe Man did his best to spin the Armitage news as not really disproving the "conspiracy to smear Joe Wilson", and KO replayed a clip of Bush talking about leakers for something like the 89th time. After some yucks over Frist and his medical license, the segment mercifully creaked to a conclusion.

Two more teases for Olby's "special comment" preceded regurgitated NBC footage of an SUV rescued from flood waters, plus Katie Couric (KO's snark about the size of Couric's audience evidenced a particularly dense variety of chutzpah). Then Tara Reed, Paris Hilton, and Cruise News! Another tease for the "special comment", and then the Media Matters Minute: "comedian Rush Limbaugh" was the predictable "worst person" selection, for comments on obesity.

Then the "special comment", held for a Big Finish to keep the blue blog believers tuned in until the last possible Nielsen minute. Rumsfeld is a "quack", dissent is "essential" (whoever said it wasn't?), and Rummy is like the Nazis because they both claimed to have "a monopoly on all the facts". Krazy went off into a history lesson about pre-war England, then said Rummy is like the British because he "demonizes" disagreement. With a straight, even grumpy, face, Olby sermonized:

All voices count.

One need only peruse The List above to see how fervently Keith Olbermann lives that philosophy. He ranted on about the presumed "omniscience" of the Bush adminstration, while ticking off old favorites like WMDs, UBL, flu vaccine, and Katrina. It's "arrogance" and "hubris", lectured Mr Humility himself:

He, "Mister" Bush [9], Mr Cheney, and their cronies have, inadvertently or intentionally, profitted and benefitted, both personally and politically. And yet he can stand up in public and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emperor's New Clothes".... With what country has he confused the United States of America?... Men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag.... Earlier Americans always found their way to the light and we can too. The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense and this administration are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: the destruction of our freedoms.... This country faces a new type of fascism indeed.

Hyperbole Alert! All of this is, of course, based on Keith's bizarre notion that Rumsfeld does not have the right to criticize people he disagrees with. But naturally, Herr Olbermann takes it to the next Kool-Aid level. The Evil Bush Crime Administration wants to outlaw dissent! If Rummy gets his way, and bans anyone who disagrees with him from being allowed to speak, America will end up like... like... like an hour of Countdown!

Update I: Thanks to HotAir and National Review for the links.

Update II: Do you believe in coincidences? As Olby returned from vacation to level his much-hyped attack on Donald Rumsfeld, over at The O'Reilly Factor someone decided this would be a good opportunity to replay a segment with a helicopter cameraman (who happens to have a daughter named Katy).

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guests:

• HURRICANE KATRINA ANNIVERSARY; WAR POLITICS: E.J. Dionne, Washington Post

His show attracts loonies and cranks,
but Keith Olbermann mainly shoots blanks.
Is he off for the week?
If he is, no critique.
And for this relief, truly much thanks!

It should come as no surprise to Olbermann Watch readers that Keith Olbermann is defending Bryant Gumble's right to publicly disparage his employer and not be fired after causing a firestorm with comments directed at the outgoing NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and NFL Players Union chief Gene Upshaw. Olby has gone on many similar benders - attacking collegues at ESPN, slamming MSNBC during his first stint there, undermining Fox Sports in regards to the Rupert Murdoch-owned Dodgers, attacking colleagues and bosses during his current stint at MSNBC. He was shown the door at ESPN, MSNBC and Fox Sports and, in what can only be a matter of time, will likely suffer the same fate at MSNBC II.

Tim Graham at Newsbusters pulls this gem from KO's remarks on ESPN Radio:

"I don't think I'd consciously go out and ever give information I knew not to be true, deliberately."

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Alison Stewart

Topics/Guests:

• POLITICS: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek senior White House correspondent
• KENTUCKY PLANE CRASH OUTRAGE: Mary Schiavo, fmr. D.O.T. inspector general
• EMMY ROUNDUP: Tom O'Neil, In Touch Magazine

"Another Day Off"

It's a downer for every dingbat.
Olby once more from Countdown does scat.
He likes teenage sexpots
more than finding Rove plots.
Keith just had to see Emmy with Kat.

I left home on August 1st and traveled to Phoenix to NY to Boston to NY to San Diego to L.A. to Phoenix to Tampa to Nashville to Chicago to NY. I got back last night. In the meantime, I did not have much time to look at Olbermann Watch but learned that a troll on this site and become particularly active. As a general rule, I do not edit or delete comments or ban commenters. When comment spammers find open threads I close them and delete the comment spam. It generally takes a couple weeks for comment spammers to find open threads so it is typical that a comment is open for about that long.

In this case, the commenter may or may not have been the owner of the web site and the owner of the web site may or may not have been the person depicted in the web site. It's the internet so you can never be sure about these things. Regardless, someone was posting from a particularly IP address (and doing so anonymously, psuedonymously or under other people's names). I found over 100 posted comments from this IP address. Many of them had dozens of links to a particular site so that there were thouands of outbound links to that site coming from our site. For those who don't know how this game works - if you do that on dozens of sites you can get hundreds of thousands of inbound links to a site which increased the sites Google Page Rank and causes the site to show up higher in Google searches. In other words, these comments were spam designed to advertise a particular site.

As a result, I have deleted all of these comments and banned anyone from posting at that IP address.

This is generally not an effective solution because there are many ways around a ban but reasoning with a troll is pointless, negotiating with a spammer is pointless and doing nothing is not an acceptable option.

I have reported the matter to the web host for that site and will let them look into whether the commenter is coming from the same IP address as their customer and determine how to handle their customer. Spamming is a violation of their user agreement.

One last point, some folks might wonder why I don't moderate comments (pre or post),, require registration or use a catchpa. The answer is simple, I've tried them all and they all inhibit a free exchange on the site. I'd rather close comments after a couple of weeks and deal with the occassional spam that gets through then get in the way of the give and take on this site.

UPDATE: Here is my exchange with Piczo Member Services, the company hosting the site linked in the comments on Olbermann Watch

Subject: one of your sites is being comment spammed into my site

Discussion Thread
Response (Pom) 08/28/2006 05:25 PM

Dear Mr. Robert Cox,

Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention. We here at Piczo take abuse complaints very seriously. The IP address you reported is actually different from the owner of the site. However, this site is in violation of our Terms of Service and therefore we have cancelled it.

Unfortunately, at this time our systems are unable to search sites by IP address. If you become aware of any other inappropriate site or the email address of a Piczo member who is abusing the use of our services, please notify us immediately and we will take action.

Please let us know if we can be of any further assistance.

Regards,

Piczo Member Services
Customer (Robert Cox) 08/27/2006 09:55 AM
My site is http://www.olbermannwatch.com/

Someone is repeatedly posting the following URL into my comment
sections (hundreds of instances of this):
[delete]

Many of the comments contain phrases like "fuck my website bitch" and
"I am invincible" etc.

The comments are coming from the following IP Address: 204.112.163.122

This is comment spam and may be a violation of your user agreement.
It is certainly a violation of my comment posting policy. Can you
please investigate this and advise as to whether the spammer is the
owner of this site and whether you are able to take any steps to
discourage this behavior?

You might also want to refer the owner of the site to a psychiatrist
as it appears this individual has some serious psychological issues.

Robert Cox
Editor
Olbermann Watch

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Brian Unger

"A Night on the Town"

Krazy Keith did not answer the call.
He's in LA with his junior doll.
So while Unger does news,
and reports on Tom Cruise,
Olby's there as the ump cries, "Play ball!"

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• MIDTERM ELECTIONS: John Harwood, The Wall Street Journal
• TOM CRUISE VS. PARAMOUNT; "SURVIVOR": Sharon Waxman, New York Times Hollywood correspondent
• MOTORIST PULLED OVER WHILE LISTENING TO BILL O'REILLY TOO LOUD: Office Kurt Iskra, Largo, Fla. Police Department

In his opening spiel, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann, looking as grumpy (and orange) as ever, used his favorite adjective once again:

The purported London terror plot: it continues to deflate.

What was he talking about? A suspect was released. Wait, didn't he report that yesterday? He's not using yesterday's news to inject day-old spin into his opening spiel, is he? Nah, that would hardly be the award-winning journalism that Keith loves to remind people he practices.

But first on the spin parade, from the palatial Los Angeles MSNBC studios, was "Mister" Bush's Iraq rhetoric. It's more pessimistic, which led Olby to return not to yesterday's news, or even the day before yesterday's news. No, it was back to the Presidential conference of Monday! We thought the time difference between New York and LA was four hours, not four days. After some political notes about John McCain and Hillary, it was time to chat with Harwood, with a typical Olby-style leading question about how the Republicans are screwing something up:

In terms of strategy, have they just reached the last ditch?

KO went on to reference "so-called achievements" in Iraq (what, they aren't "purported" achievements?), while Harwood talked about the administration being "completely out of touch with reality". A recycled NBC report from the impartial David Gregory covered remembrances of 9/11 and Katrina.

Then it was back to the "purported plot", which wasn't anything like "how it was initially sold" to the public, according to terrorism expert Keith Olbermann. This was KO's lead-in to the story of Tayib Rauf, an arrestee who was released yesterday. Keith noted that "only 12" have been charged. This was a slick way to avoid specifically reporting that another person was charged today (it had been 11). After all, KO couldn't possibly admit to any progress in the investigation; has he ever reported the bomb kits and suicide videos that were found?

Going into the break at just 13 minutes into the hour, Krazy Keith returned with a feature on the planet (or not) Pluto. A recycled NBC report handled the details, followed by teasers for such exclusive scoops as JonBenet and tonight's edition of Cruise News. After oddball (including a tasteful "erection" joke) and more teasers, KO started cluck-clucking about a program that hasn't even aired yet (the upcoming Survivor: Cook Islands). But that was just an excuse to divert the rest of the segment to another installment of Cruise News! Specifically, the split from Viacom. Hold on, didn't he cover this yesterday too? Hey, it beats working. And then a teaser for #107:

What happens when an officer of the law comes face to face with a law-breaking Bill O'Reilly radio listener?

Klassic Keith. The terror plot, where a dozen people have been charged and mountains of evidence seized, is "alleged" and "purported". But this poor schlub gets a ticket and Judge Olbermann flat-out declares him guilty! Who says KO doesn't have his priorities straight?

Another teaser for the Big Bill O'Reilly Story followed, with Keith promising "that's next". Only it wasn't. The nightly JonBenet segment was next. Why would KO say something is "next" when it knows full well it's not next? To keep his core audience of gullible simpletons tuned in for as long as possible? After the JonBenet update (a supposed-to-be funny montage of hyperbolic MSNBC breaking news), we got Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and self-promotion for a KO voice-over on "Family Guy".

In the Media Matters Minute, KO managed to fill two of his pre-determined slots, the Fox News slot (O'Reilly, so that makes this #107), and a conservative/Republican (Rush Limbaugh). He even worked in an insult to Ann Coulter.

Finally the discredited sports guy got around to his Big O'Reilly News--another days-old story flogged to within an inch of its life. But good enough to be attack #108. One cannot overstate the painful desperation of the smarmy Olbermann engaged in a futile attempt to steal some of the success and viewership of his nemesis. Crusading journalist Krazy Keith got to the bottom of this developing story:

Do they often, do, do the people who complain about the tickets often mention Bill O'Reilly or anybody in particular, or is that novel?

Did you, did you have to keep, uh, uh, struggle, to keep, uh, a straight face during that, uh, or, or are you used to the bizarre, if not that particular kind of bizarre?

Wh, when, when you asked him that, that was, that one moment where, where it got out, where you said Bill O'Reilly doesn't fall under that statute, have you ever encountered anybody who thought what they were listening to, no matter what it was, made any difference in a, in a noise complaint situation?

Eh, was it, was it playing still on the, on the car stereo when you first approached the, the car?

Do you know, we, we, we had been told he had a month to request a, uh, a, a formal request for a trial, do you know how that turned out with, uh, both the speeding citation and the, uh, the loud radio citation?

This went on and on and on: pointlessly empty questions and respectful, brief replies from the officer. This is what Olby and Abrams thought was worth day-long promotion and hype? It's another tape that must be sent to the Emmy committee.

For the tenth day, Olbermann couldn't find even 30 seconds to report on the kidnapped Fox journalists. He was on the Jill Carroll story for day after day, but when IslamoNazis abduct reporters from the hated Fox channel, Keith can't be bothered. It's more important to belabor the tabloid stories of yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. We have a suggestion for Krazy Keith: when you leave the studios tonight and stop off to purchase a trinket for your current squeeze, pick up a paper and read about the plight of the journalists being held hostage. Oh wait, that won't work. They don't have newsstands at Toys 'R' Us.

It's difficult to underestimate the frenzied desperation of Keith Olbermann. His hour has slipped from a poor fourth to a ruinously embarrassing fifth place finish, behind even a canned documentary on CNBC. Abrams must be wondering if Olby's next milestone will be losing to infomercials on Lifetime. But Dan is the man with a plan. Like a mad scientist convinced he has invented a perpetual motion machine, Abrams thinks he has devised the world's most brilliant promotional campaign, one that will turn failure into success. Abrams's ingenious innovation: attach Keith Olbermann to someone who is not a loser, and let him bleed away viewers and popularity like a leech.

That's why A-Mess-NBC has been running a promo for weeks featuring Krazy Keith pointing a finger (the finger he uses to write Countdown) and screaming at a picture of Bill O'Reilly. That's why promos for Joe Scarborough used O'Reilly's image and name to promote a lame segment that had very little to do with the #1 rated cable news host. Not to mention Tuesday's feeble Hour of Spin story about a traffic ticket.

But now, Abrams and Olby have gone off the deep end. The following QuickTime video is the promo running for Thursday night's Countdown. This is not a joke video, craftily edited to lampoon MSNBC's desperate struggle for survival. This is the real thing:

It's a logical progression. If a guy getting a traffic ticket is news because he was listening to O'Reilly, then obviously bringing on the cop who gave the ticket must be even bigger news. What's next? Krazy Keith does an investigative report on the manufacturer of the radio? Why was it playing O'Reilly? And what about the strange nexus of O'Reilly leeching and politics? This deserves another Olbermann Special Report at least!

We think we know what to expect on Friday's Hour of Spin:

The customer at the coffee shop was rude. He didn't leave a tip. But as he left, the truth became clear: he was wearing a Bill O'Reilly T-shirt. Tonight, Bill O'Reilly's latest victim, the owner of Moe's Coffee Shop, talks exclusively to Keith on Countdown.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS: Jonathan Alter
• CRUISE NEWS: John Henson, TV Guide Channel
• FART JOKES: Mo Rocca

It's hard to believe that Krazy Keith would run yet again, in his opening spiel, the George Allen "macaca" clip. But there it was, flogged once more by the discredited sports guy whose outrage is exclusively on one side of the political fence. He kicked off The Hour of Spin by telling us:

This is Tuesday, August 23rd

Olby continued by referencing administration efforts to "confuse" people, and mentioning the "purported" London bomb plot. Then, since John McCain said something negative about the President, he got a clip too. On the other hand, James Inhofe said something positive about the Iraq War, so KO likened his view to something out of "an Andy Hardy movie". (There's a reference that probably went right over the heads of Olbermann's beloved "key demo".) Leftist Alter regurgitated OlbySpin, the traditional role of the Countdown interviewee.

Back to the "purported" London bomb plot, with KO highlighting the fact that one person was released. Then a fleeting reference to The Great Leak Case: a tidbit from AP that everybody else reported yesterday. Hey, maybe Keith really did think today is Tuesday. Teasers at the break included--you guessed it--"macaca".

The #4 story was another piece about YouTube videos, introduced with embarrassing clips of Conrad Burns (R). The report itself, another of the endless stream of recycled videos from NBC, was old news to anyone who watched any television news other than The Hour of Spin.

Then came the #3 story, a sad case of Keithus Interruptus. He was all set to devote the entire segment to Cruise News, but something of far greater seriousness was taking place: a press conference about JonBenet! Oh, the anticipation, the excitement, the thrill of more Tom Cruise coverage, suddenly dashed into hopelessness by breaking news of obviously greater import.

Then matters got worse. KO had to interview an NBC reporter on the JonBenet beat, and we all know how expert Keith is at breaking news:

...in Boulder Colorado, where the media and, uh, and, I guess, the state are awaiting the eventually arrival of John Mark Karr. Michelle, did that news conference, uh, uh, give you any additional into--, insight into, uh, what we might expect next in this bizarre case?

After this one-sentence debriefing of the unfortunate NBC reporter, Olby went on to repeat almost everything that had just been shown on air, relying on his own pet phrase ("curiouser and curiouser") twice. Who says Olbermann can't think on his feet? Happily for Keith, this was all a case of ecstacy delayed, not denied, as Cruise News was relocated to the #2 slot. A recycled NBC report and an exciting Cruise News interview made this another Great Moment in Olbermann Journalism.

The parade of substantial, momentous news reporting reached its zenith in the #1 story: Mo Rocca with a penetrating analysis of Presidential fart jokes. KO displayed "photos of Mister Bush", while Mo made hilarious references: "Reckless frat boy...floating air biscuits...booty burp...the poo-poo platter". Attention Emmy committee: make sure you review this tape.

Meanwhile, Olby is not saying much about how well he's doing in his beloved "key demo" (25-54). The good news is that he's finally out of fourth place. The bad news? He's slipped to fifth, limping behind perennial also-ran CNBC that was showing (for something like the 89th time) a canned documentary about eBay.

KO has so had it with that damned demo anyhow. He doesn't even date in the key demo--they're way too old for the 47-year-old "news anchor". Perhaps after he left the L.A. studios tonight to help his latest inamorata with her homework, she could let him know about the kidnapped journalists he has studiously avoided reporting for nine days. Maybe she can even convince him it might be more newsworthy than lead balloons from Mo Rocca.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• JONBENET RAMSEY: Larry Pozner, attorney
• PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS: Dana Milbank, Washington Post
• HILLARY'S PRESIDENTIAL ASPIRATIONS

The Hour of Spin was back on its axis tonight, as the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann was once more running the carousel.

From the opening spiel:

Only half the suspects in the purported airline plot head to court, amid public concerns in England that the scope and scale of the alleged attack had been exaggerated.

Krazy Keith wants so badly for this terror plot to be a fake. You could hear the desperation in his voice. Note the use of the spin phrase "public concerns". That covers just about anything: even a guy standing on a soapbox yelling at people in Picadilly Square. We'll see just who was voicing these concerns, and how significant they were.

Oh, by the way, KO wasn't exactly breaking a sweat tonight. Remember the propaganda film (terror and politics) he replayed just about a week ago? Tonight he was able to fill out another entire segment by rerunning the rerun. But it was by popular demand. Translation: a letter flooded in. And it was signed "Katy".

After the obligatory JonBenet coverage, Olby cited a poll on Iraq to lead into a story on Iran. Then he quoted from "Mister" Bush and ran a clip from yesterday's press conference. Yesterday's? Like we said, Keith wasn't exactly trying tonight. Dana Milbank, sans splashy smocks, was there to dissect the Q&A. Wait a second, didn't the UnJournalist analyze the press conference just last night with a Washington Post scribe? Well, yes. So why are we getting yesterday's news? You'll have to ask Krazy Keith, who was tossing out phrases like "parsing-based reality" (huh?) and making lame attempts at spin. Example: he took the President's statement that Iraq and 9/11 weren't connected and tried to say that meant that Iraq and terrorism aren't connected.

After oddball, another tease for the "purported" bomb plot and the rerun of a rerun. The #3 story began with KO referencing "withering criticism" of the terror bomb arrests, but still didn't cite any source. Then Keith talked about the police press conference, held "despite claims that they hyped this plot". Claims by whom? Once again, Keith Olbermann cited nobody--nobody!--who made these claims.

Remember, today these people were formally charged in court with conspiracy to commit mass murder and terrorism. Just a few days ago KO was telling his gullible viewers that the bottom fell out of the case, and predicted that a successful prosecution would be all but impossible. Maybe that's why he had to invent all these "public concerns" and "withering criticisms" that he never got around to documenting.

The rest of the segment was devoted to the rerun of a rerun (Krazy's Keith's Konspiracy). Talk about phoning it in! But hey, it beats working. Then it was on to a regurgitated NBC report on Hillary Clinton's political future.

There were repeated teasers throughout the evening for something about Bill O'Reilly ("Falafel Factor"). This illness appears to be contagious. Dan Abrams likes citing O'Reilly so much he's having Joe Scarborough do it. (Last night, after heavy promotion, Joe reported on a totally fictitious "feud" between Mr Bill and The Daily Show. The only evidence was one clip of a joking exchange between O'Reilly and Stewart from an old 2004 interview!) Where does Abrams come up with these ideas? He's a promotional genius!

Keith Olbermann's Bill O'Reilly "news" proved to be something about a traffic stop where the driver told the cop he was listening to O'Reilly on the radio. Let's see: relentless hype for a Scarborough segment that proved to be nothing at all. Then relentless hype for an Olbermann report that had less substance than Scarborough's segment. Give Dan Abrams an Emmy!

Of course, the discredited Keith Olbermann was so busy concocting attack #106 that he just couldn't find time to report on the kidnapped Fox journalists, not even to urge their release or offer wishes for their safe return. Maybe someone will whisper that idea in his ear tonight, before her bedtime.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Brian Unger

It's another day off for our Keith,
with ratings nobody's beneith.
Was it Katy that beckoned?
But on August 22nd,
he'll be back telling lies through his teith.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Brian Unger

"Fuzzy Math"

Krazy Keith did not make Friday's show.
It's no matter, with ratings so low.
He's in L.A.--it's heaven.
But he'll learn 47
into 22 just will not go.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• JONBENET RAMSEY: Catherine Crier
• THE NSA RULING: Professor Jonathan Turley
• IS PLUTO A PLANET?: Astronomer Derrick Pitts

After yesterday's Countdown JonBenetapalooza, we noted that Dan Abrams would be studying the Nielsens very closely. The results are in, and there's good news, and bad news.

The good news is that The Hour of Spin got a bump thanks to their ratings ploy of devoting two-thirds of the program to JonBenet. The bad news is that so did everyone else. In fact, Wednesday found the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann finishing in fourth, behind O'Reilly, Zahn, and even Nancy Grace. But there's a silver lining: in the "key demo", Olby still finished fourth, but it was a closer fourth.

As we write the opening spiel is underway (NSA decision and JonBenet featured), and it occurs to us that at some point Olby is bound to refer to the NSA ruling as "stunning". (This is probably the safest bet other than that he'll say "great thanks", but we'll see.) But which story will get the coveted lead spot? Will Dan Abrams prevail and make JonBenet the top news item? Or will Keith "I answer to no one" Olbermann win the battle of wills and insist that Bush-bashing comes first?

Score one for the guy from "middle-management". Though Olby snuck in a reference to the "stunning" ruling [Ding!], the lead story was all JonBenet. And we must admit, we were fascinated by Olbermann's, shall we say, unique take on the case:

Tonight, the nexus between politics and crime. Just one day, less than 24 hours, before a key decision damaging to the Bush administration is announced, a high-profile cold case is suddenly broken open with a well-publicized arrest. Who knew this decision was coming? Why was the arrest made just in time to blunt the impact of this remarkable decision? There is reason to believe tonight that the FBI, consulting on the JonBenet case, was well aware, and may even have played a role in demanding a hasty, premature arrest of the suspect. The FBI, an organization that answers directly to Mr Bush. And the suspect: a real suspect, or a hapless wannabee, who was not a flight risk, a man they never even questioned? No DNA evidence; no proof he was even in Boulder when the crime was committed. Yet someone wanted him arrested Monday, one day before a courageous federal judge handed down an extraordinary decision, all just in time to bury the bad news for Mister Bush and his administration.

OK, we made that up. Suffice to say JonBenet occupied the entire first block. In the #4 segment, it was the NSA decision, wherein Krazy Keith again claimed the Bush administration was "politicizing" the decision. (Washington must be a funny place on OlbyPlanet: nobody politicizes but Republicans.) For an impartial analysis of the opinion, KO naturally called on someone who had already argued against the program: Jonathan Turley. Time to update The List ("experts" interviewed on Countdown on the NSA program):

• Dec 27: John Dean (against)
• Dec 28: Jonathan Turley (against)
• Jan 11: James Bamford (against)
• Jan 18: James Bamford (against)
• Jan 23: Jane Martin (against)
• Feb 6: John Dean (against)
• Feb 8: Heather Wilson (against)
• Mar 29: John Dean (against)
• Mar 31: John Dean (against)
• Apr 6: John Dean (against)
• Apr 18: Carl Bernstein (against)
• May 10: Jonathan Turley (against)
• May 11: Jonathan Turley (against)
• May 12: John Dean (against)
• May 23: Mark Zaid (against)
• Jun 16: Jonathan Turley (against)
• Aug 17: Jonathan Turley (against)

Fair and balanced as always. Turley quickly accused Bush of committing "a federal crime". We almost spit up our Diet Coke when the Perfessor described the opinion as "very thoughtful" (yeah, like how it completely fudged the issue of standing?). Olby sarcastically asked if the country ever "went out of business" because a President didn't get his way on national security. A better question would have been if any President has ever had a court tell him he needed permission to intercept enemy communications during wartime. Nobody mentioned the consensus of legal opinion that the decision will be reversed on appeal. Hell, if that happens, we'll be lucky if Olby even reports it!

After oddball, the #3 story was about newly released 9/11 tapes, handled by a regurgitated NBC report. From there it was on to a "comedy" video on the planets (astronomer interview followed), Barry Bonds, Mel Gibson, Bruno Kirby, and a feature interview with Samuel L Jackson about his new movie.

Bill O'Reilly is "worst person", for pointing out (as we did) that "his competition" (i.e. Infamous Deplorable himself) did 40 minutes on the story. KO said Bill told his radio audience this "last night" (Bill's radio show comes on at noon). What's so worst persony about that? Well, bellowed Keith, O'Reilly did 45 minutes on the story tonight. So there! Yes, the ever-popular tu quoque fallacy. So does that mean tomorrow Keith Olbermann will be "worst person in the world" for saying the same thing Bill O'Reilly said?

Dogs that did not bark include Zawahiri: new reports of his involvement in the supposed, purported, alleged terror plot that Olbermann has been insisting have no connection to Al Qaeda. No wonder that dog was silenced. And it's day four and the discredited Keith Olbermann has yet to report on the kidnapped Fox journalists. He hasn't even had the shred of decency to offer a word of hope for their release. But "decency" and "Olbermann" don't even belong in the same sentence.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

JON BENET RAMSEY: Lawrence Schiller, author
POLITICIZING THE ALLEGED, PURPORTED, SUPPOSED TERROR PLOT: Dana Milbank, Washington Post
ZOGBY POLL FINDS AMERICANS ARE ILL-INFORMED: Mo Rocca

Dan Abrams has a vision for A-Mess-NBC, and for Countdown. Serious news coverage has gradually been cut back on The Hour of Spin, in favor of tabloid stories, attacks, gimmicks, and celebrity fluff. The promos for Countdown focus on celebrities, tabloid news, and even Bill O'Reilly attacks. Tonight the renovation of Countdown faced its ultimate test. There has been an arrest in the Jon Benet Ramsey case, and all the known facts about it could be relayed in about ten minutes, tops. But on Countdown this story dominated the opening spiel, and consumed more than two-thirds of the hour. Abrams will be studying the overnights very closely come tomorrow afternoon.

Of course there was still room for OlbySpin. The Republicans are "politicizing" the terror war again, because the staunchly apolitical B.J. Clinton says so (his comments were "remarkably telling" according to KO). But the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann said not one word about politicizing from the (D) side of the aisle, including two specific examples we brought to his attention yesterday.

Dana Milbank, devoid of dashing duds, echoed Keith's spin about the President campaigning on the terror issue, claiming he was telling people to "be afraid". Neither of them said one word about Ed Markey (D) who held a press conference in DC about port security, telling people to be afraid--and then, when something happened in Boston, took a plane and held another press conference there to the same effect. On The Hour of Spin, politicizing is only news when Republicans do it.

And then there's this. Newpaper reporter Jill Carroll was kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq, and it was Big News on The Hour of Spin. Olby made it one of his featured stories day after day after day:

Jan. 18: Our fourth story on THE COUNTDOWN, threats, kidnapping and terror, beginning with the desperate effort to secure the release or rescue of the abducted American journalist, Jill Carroll.

Jan. 19: Our next guest with unique insight, perhaps, into what Jill Carroll is going through. Former NBC News correspondent Kevin Sites has been covering the war in Iraq since it began.

Jan. 20: But we begin our third story on the COUNTDOWN tonight on this 25th anniversary of the day the embassy hostages were released in Iran, with the agonizing wait in Iraq for word on the fate of Jill Carroll. Our correspondent in Baghdad in Preston Mendenhall.

The discredited Keith Olbermann gave heavy, repeated coverage of a newspaper reporter kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq. Yet for three days straight he has not uttered one word about the Fox News reporter and camerman who were kidnapped by Palestinian terrorists in Gaza. Why the double standard?

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• POLITICIZING THE ALLEGED, PURPORTED, SUPPOSED TERROR PLOT: Mike Allen, Time Magazine
• ABU GHRAIB: Sgt Joe Darby

Just seconds into the opening spiel, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann referenced the "purported" terror plot in the UK, and wanted to know why Hillary Clinton's opponent hasn't withdrawn from the race for "comparing" her to Usama Bin Laden. Then it was off to the politicization of terror by the Republicans, including the President's "eternal" campaign, dubbed by Olby the "terror tour". Why is it that Democrats can claim that Republicans have "made America less safe" but the discredited sports guy never cites that as an example of politicizing the war on terror? Why does he only select (R) examples to bellow about on The Hour of Spin? For that matter, why is water wet?

Allen was of course a perfect Xerox machine for OlbySpin, and he rattled on about Republicans running "the national security play". KO made the claim that the prosecution of the terror plotters will "unravel" because they were arrested too early at the Bush adminsitration's suggestion. Olby went on to suggest if a Democrat ad used Bin Laden's image in some sort of comparison to Dick Cheney, he would be "run out of town on a rail". Well, Keith, get your track shoes on. Here's an ad that does use Bin Laden's image (as well as imply that hispanic border crossers are on a par with North Korean terrorists) to attack not just Cheney but the entire GOP. You can launch your withering attack on the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee on tomorrow's Hour of Spin. We won't be holding our breath.

The teaser said, "Did the bottom just fall out of the liquid bomb plot?" Wow, is this something like the terror prosecution that Keith Olbermann wanted us to believe was "all but lost", and then when the guilty verdict came in he never reported it? That kind of bottom falling out? Olby wanted people to believe that the case is "thin", because the US has made it "impossible to convict anybody" by having them arrested too soon. The proof of this was to come in a recycled report from Lisa Myers, which began with the Al-Qaeda connections of some of the plotters. Hey, Keithie didn't even mention that part! As KO gave "great thanks" to the unspooling tape that played the report, we realized that nobody Myers spoke to or got a soundbite from said anything about it being the fault of the U.S.--which is precisely what Olby had claimed the report would focus on! Man, Olbermann can't tell the truth even when he's just introducing a tape.

In the #3 slot, The Man Tan Man went back to a Golden Oldie: Abu Ghih-raib (as he insisted on pronouncing it). Olbermann's eagerness to smear American troops had a rare intersection with an actual US soldier. This would be tricky. The topic itself makes George Bush's military look bad, but will this guy play along? Sgt Darby dismissed the notion that this was some sort of conspiracy or orders from higher up; it was just a "lack of supervision". Olby thought he saw an opening and struck:

Did you have a sense that this was because it was carte-blanche, that it had been, these sort of things had been authorized, without anybody ever telling you what sort of thing those sort of things were?

Um, no. Their duties were to house the prisoners, period. No interrogation whatsoever. Hmm. What's a discredited sports guy to do? Run a clip of Donald Rumsfeld praising Darby for turning in the participants, which apparently made public his involvement for the first time. Olby pounced:

How did you survive the rest of that tour in Iraq?

What is KO suggesting here? Does he hate our troops so much that he thinks they would take Sgt Darby out and lynch him, or burn him at the stake? Darby said 90-95% of his unit was fully supportive; only a small minority had a problem and they said nothing. Another dead end and at this point Krazy Keith basically gave up.

In the #2 slot, Monica Novotny reported on women in fantasy fashion leagues. Then it was on to Prince Harry, Prince William, and Cruise News! #1: Dell and its exploding batteries. Dogs that didn't bark: for the second day in a row, not one word about the kidnapped Fox reporters. Of course not. First of all, he'd have to call it the "Fox Cartoon News Network", and that just might seem a tad insensitive. And besides, it was done by Islamicists, and Keith just has to give them a break. After all, he will tell you, it was Israel's fault for starting this "pre-emptive" war in the first place!

I am on the West Coast for a week of family fun in San Diego and Los Angeles. I will be heading to Phoenix tonight for a week there and then onto St. Petersburg, FL for a conference on online journalism ethics and then later that week to Chicago for the Society for Professional Journalists conference where I will speak on blogger ethics among other things. I am trying to check in on Olbermann Watch but spending time with the kids is the priority this week and and next.

For you GH, Desperate Housewives and CSI fans, you might be interested to know that a buddy of mine who works at Universal Studios where those shows are shot walked us all through the interior sets - living rooms, bathrooms, bedrooms. In the case of GH, the hospital rooms. We were later taken over to "the hill" where they have built the exterior sets for Wysteria Lane and watched them taping the show. We promised not to disclose any plot lines so you will just have to watch if you want to know what happens next on GH or DHW.

I wrote a piece for the Washington Examiner on my thoughts while traveling ranging from Lieberman-Lamont, SeaWorld, the UK Terror Plot and more. You can read it here

It begins...

When I left New York last week for a family vacation in Southern California, Sen. Joe Lieberman had just lost the Democratic primary in Connecticut and was preparing for his first day as an independent candidate for higher office...

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• ALLEGED, PURPORTED, SUPPOSED TERROR PLOT DISRUPTED: Dana Milbank, Washington Post
• BOY GEORGE: Michael Musto, Village Voice

We really weren't in the mood tonight for the fevered fantasties of the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. Maybe it was the opening spiel, where he bellowed that the US asked England to pull the trigger on arresting the terror plotters--something that was known last week but Olby made sound like new, incriminating evidence. The administration is making "political hay" out of the terror arrests, the plot really wasn't imminent, the Brits wanted to wait a week and catch them in their "dry run". It was apparently beyond Olbermann's comprehension that permitting a dry run to take place might just put people in danger should the run, for whatever reason, cease to be dry. It was one tired spin point after another, all referenced last week, all brought back for an encore presentation.

KO gave "great thanks" to a prerecorded Lisa Myers report, played up a disagreement between Dick Cheney and Tom Ridge, and that was the cue for Dana Milbank. Lacking lurid livery, Dana dismissed the timing issue that Keith had been hammering incessantly, while Olby cited Hillary Clinton's opinion of Cheney as representative of the "conventional wisdom". Then it was time for Keith to again paint some GOP action as bad or ill-advised. This time he claimed that Cheney's comments on the Lamont race overshadowed the benefit Republicans could have gained from his victory. (Huh?) Even Milbank wasn't about to swallow that incoherent theory.

#4 Airport screening, security funding, and Michael Boyd, who operates a business that makes profits by convincing airlines that they need his expertise. Boyd is a crank who whines that everything being done by everybody is wrong and none of the security improvements are real--just by coincidence all good reasons to purchase his firm's services.

Then there was Krazy Keith's Top Ten List of terror incidents that coincide with politics: a "pattern of exploiting fear for political gain". Don't get the impression that there's much new here. He replayed the same interminable propaganda piece he ran last October. The only difference is that back then, MSNBC forced him put on an opposing point of view. Even that minimal concession to journalistic integrity was dispensed with on tonight's Hour of Spin.

Middle East developments were relegated to a few minutes of taped reportage in the #2 slot. (And yes, Keith offered the playback machine "great thanks" when it was finished.) This was followed by the major story of the evening (since it's the one that all the promos for tonight were about): Samuel L Jackson and his new movie. The promos claimed Keith had him as a guest; the truth is that Monica Novotny did a taped interview with him some time ago, and tonight they just ran the interview. Actually no, they didn't even do that. Olby's endless propaganda film took so much time that they could only play one sentence from the interview. But fear not, you can see the whole thing on Thursday, which is handy for A-Mess-NBC. They don't even have to make new promos--they can just re-use the ones they've been playing for the past three days.

Like we said above, we were really not in the mood for Olbermann tonight, and when Michael Musto showed up, that was our cue. Olbermann, Musto, talking about Boy George? That's about an eleven on the repellant-meter. We're outta here.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Guest Host: Amy Robach

After spinning the news about terror
Keith gave up on this week's reign of error.
So Amy is in,
though she lacks orange skin.
After Keith anyone would be ferror.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• ALLEGED, PURPORTED, SUPPOSED TERROR PLOT DISRUPTED: Roger Cressey, NBC analyst; Jonathan Alter
• BASEBALL PLAYING YOUTH WITH CANCER: Marlo Oaks

Throughout the day the clear-headed readers of Olbermann Watch have been speculating about which techniques the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann would use to spin the terror plot arrests to fit his agenda. Sure enough, like Pavlov's dog in a bell-testing factory, Olby delivered. We'll ring that bell each time Krazy Keith comes through.

The opening spiel set the tone:

The supposed plotters only began looking at flight schedules last week. [Ding!] ...The President interrupting his vacation not to reassure the nation nor go back to the Capitol, but merely to hit a fund-raiser in Wisconsin. [Ding!] ...Did his Vice-President know, his party national committee chair? Does that explain the unbridled rhetoric about the Democrats in the Connecticut Senate primary vote? [Ding!] ...an administration that has seemingly played politics with mass terror alerts, and how much of this we can all believe! [Ding!]

Four bells in just the opening spiel. Pretty impressive.

But Olby was just warming up:

At first glance it appears that British intelligence has thwarted the biggest terror attack since 9/11...how much of the plot was actually operational? [Ding!] How much of it was feasible? [Ding!] How much of the reaction political? [Ding!] In a moment we will run a smell test on the alleged plot... [Ding!]

KO brought up, twice in five minutes, previous Brit missteps in terror fighting. Suggesting that they are incompetent hours after they thwart a terror attack of this magnitude is something even we didn't predict the discredited sports guy would try, but it's impossible to underestimate the depravity of Krazy Keith. After a taped NBC report Keith gave "great thanks" to the inanimate machine that played it, and did the same with another prerecorded story from Pete Williams. Then a real person showed up, NBC analyst Roger Cressey, who told KO that yes, this was technically feasible. Olby wanted to know why soda bottles (or wine bottles, but he didn't use that example) haven't been banned from planes all along; Cressey said it's a gap in our security. Then KO noted:

Suspects don't have an established link to Al Qaeda that we know of. [Ding!] ...[Investigators] made a conscious decision: roll this up right now. [Ding!]

Unfortunately Cressey went on to inform Keith just how close these guys were to actually executing their plan. That leads us to wonder why KO snarked in his opening spiel that hey, these supposed plotters didn't even check flight schedules until two weeks ago. Well no, it doesn't really lead us to wonder, does it? But Krazy wasn't through:

It was the US that picked up chatter and contact, essentially suggested to, uh, Great Britain that it was time to move. [Ding!]

Aha. That timing issue again. Cressey was magnificent, pointing out that this would have been a go signal from Pakistan, thus making the Al-Qaeda link even more believable. (KO must hate it when MSNBC makes him use their in-house analysts.) Not surprisingly, Keith's next word to Cressey was "lastly", as he hit more spin points:

We have seen time and time again, we have talked about this, instances of earth-shaking terrorists plots being announced, genuine fear being built in this country and other countries, and it turns out later that the plotters were nowhere near as ready nor as sophisticated as originally advertised--I'm thinking of the morons in Florida who couldn't tell the difference between Al Qaeda agent and an FBI plant--the, the, their informants, they seem to let look less like spies and more like enablers, even entrappers... [Ding!]

Our man Roger blew that out of the water conclusively and the first segment concluded, but Olby went to the break as if he hadn't heard a word Cressey said:

We do not know how serious this purported threat was or is... [Ding!]

As the #4 story begins, we're already getting tired of hitting that bell:

...just how imminent and realistic the threat was or is. [Ding!]

NBC's Tom Costello gave a report on the new rules for flyers. Then another "could it really be just coincidence" teaser. [Ding!] An old Lisa Myers report about smuggling explosives onto planes was replayed. Then, going into the break, Olby bemoans "heavy politicizing". [Ding!] And the #3 story was headlined: Politics and Terror:

A year ago the President made it very clear that we're safe here at home, thanks to his war in Iraq. [Ding!] ...There is a political component to all this. [Ding!] ...When Republican Committee chair Ken Mehlman and Vice-President Dick cheney eviscerated Connecticut Democrats for choosing Ned Lamont over Joe Lieberman, and they brought Al-Qaeda into the equation, they at minimum knew a terror story would be breaking shortly. [Ding!]

Stop the tivo! OK, we can buy that the Veep would have known about the investigation. But where in the Wide World of Sports does Keith Olbermann get the idea that the RNC chair also knew about it? The answer is simple: he made it up. Yup, another Olbermann lie.

To the discredited sports guy, because the President was aware of the investigation as far back as Sunday, that's not cooperation between free nations. It's a black helicopter spin point! Perhaps now Krazy Keith will recant his complaints from yesterday that Bush delegated Middle East negotiations to Condi Rice. Yeah, right. Earth to Olbermann: the President was working on something more important!

Countdown Crony Jonathan Alter was next. Yes, this is the "top newsmaker" of the evening. Olby always scores the most coveted "gets" in television news, while nobodies like O'Reilly are stuck interviewing the Homeland Security Secretary. Alter accused Bush of "innuendo" ("that's their game"), then Olby brought up how terror events follow bad political news for Bush. [Ding!] At this point it occured to us that we should have been counting how many times KO said "alleged", "purported", "supposed", etc., in relation to the threat. But that would require that we start watching all over again. Life is just too short.

Alter didn't buy Keith's tin-foil spin point, but The Schmuck wasn't about to give up:

This administration has set the bar so low when it comes to trumpeting its terror arrests... [Ding!] ... Is there a point at which most people start doubting the idea that no government would ever dream of scaring its own people unnecessarily? [Ding!]

Alter said they do use fear [Ding!] but even paranoids have real enemies and there is a real terrorism threat. "There are people out there who want to kill us." And there are things that Krazy Keith will never accept:

The media, ourselves, buying into the whole thing whole hog. [Ding!] What about the role of the media in authenticated that for which we have only the word of two governments, and no other evidence of our own? [Ding!]

Alter said it would be excessively cynical to assume from the get-go that two governments were lying about security matters. How is he getting away with this? Oh yeah, he's an NBC analyst. Damn those network producers, making Olby put these people on. Daily Kos would have been so much better. But there's a reason why Alter was invited, and he came through with talk about "skepticism".

#2 story: Conjoined twins surgery. #1: A kid baseball player was intentionally walked and the next batter was a player suffering with cancer. Olbermann denounced "victory at all costs". No Media Matters Minute tonight, but the incessant Sorosian spin throughout the hour more than made up for it.

How will the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann cover today's big news? Based on his track record, and theories all over the blue blogs (some of Olby's favorite "news" sources), possibilities include:

• These weren't terrorists; they are incompetent wannabees.
• It wasn't much of a threat; nobody was in any real danger.
• Blair is trying to bail out his buddy Bush and the evil Republicans.
• Once again "Mister" Bush is using terror as a political tactic.
• The timing is suspect: right after Lamont defeated Lieberman.

And who will be Olby's experts? John Dean? O'Donnell? Al Franken? Michael Musto? Use up our valuable bandwidth with your comments, predictions, and limericks!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• LIEBERMAN'S DEFEAT: Chris Cillizza, Washington Post; Joe Trippi, Democratic Strategist
• CONDI RICE AND GEORGE BUSH: Mike Allen, Time Magazine
• DAVID BROCK: Media Matters
• CRUISE NEWS: Michael Musto, Village Voice

Did Olby look a little down tonight? This should have been his moment of triumph, with Lieberman defeated and bad poll numbers over the Iraq war. But did he seem to be somewhat preoccupied? The opening spiel was bellowed in typical Olbermann style, as he talked of the "circular firing squad" where? In the Republican Party of course. And naturally he teased the serious news: British tabloids, Cruise News, and the Coultergeist.

The lead story was the "snowball" effect of Ned Lamont's victory. Olby claimed that the White House said "Democrats cause terrorism", which is, to say the least, a very loose paraphrase of Tony Snow's actual words. But we know Keith Olbermann is not one to take great care over accurate quoting, even of his own words. Cillizza rushed to agree with Keith's take on Tony Snow, as nonpartisan Olby referenced "logical flaws" and claimed Snow was "accusing the voters of fostering terrorism". Chris's gee-whiz, eager-to-please attitude should have cheered up the grumpy sports guy, as he told Krazy Keith that Howard Dean had the right approach for the Dems all along. "Lessons learned", he intoned.

Next up was Joe Trippi, who, like Kos the night before, sung from Olby's choirbook. The Lieberman campaign is "losing air", he won't win as an independent, Lamont is a "giant killer", this was "people power politics", blah blah blah. Last night KO presented Kos as an analyst without revealing that he had campaigned for Lamont. Of course Kos used to work for Trippi, and the latter participated in the Kos blogapalooza, but none of this got any mention from Olby. Time to update The List (partisan politicos and strategists interviewed on Countdown, identified by party affiliation):

• May 22: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• May 30: Rep Barney Frank (D)
• June 9: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 15: Bob Schrum (D)
• June 16: Rep John Murtha (D)
• June 19: Al Gore (D)
• June 20: Sen Jack Reed (D)
• June 20: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 23: Al Gore (D)
• July 5: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 12: Barbara Boxer (D)
• July 13: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 26: Bill Richardson (D)
• August 8: Daily Kos (D)
• August 9: Joe Trippi (D)

Every time we gaze at that list we marvel at how fair and balanced The Hour of Spin is. The entire political gamut: everything from A to B.

After another tease for the bash Coulter segment, the #4 story cited "the conservative magazine Insight" (when has he ever cited "the liberal magazine anything"?) for a story that Condi Rice disagreed with George Bush on Middle East policy. Gad, who does that Bush think he is, the President or something? Mike Allen was called in to discuss what Olby had hyped as a "circular firing squad", and revealed that KO's hype was mostly just that: hype. There just isn't that much daylight between Condi and George--they have different jobs, after all.

Then another Keith Kountdown Klassic, as he repeated the ignorant claim he made to Jay Leno:

If we dictate a policy that says the United States can preemptively go after terrorists, for however long it takes, it's not very likely that we would be saying to our allies at any point, hey we can enforce this, we can have this policy, we can have this stratum, but you can't.

Yes, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann actually believes Israel started this conflict. Never mind the years of Hezbollah rocket attacks. Kidnapped soldiers? What kidnapped soldiers? KO knows better: Israel is fighting a pre-emptive war, against poor innocent Hezbollah which never lifted a finger against them. As we said, another Keith Kountdown Klassic.

At 24 minutes into the hour the break comes, and more teases for Cruise News; then oddball. Next: teases for the Coulter attack and Vince Vaughan news. No this can't be right. Less than half way into the hour and he's not even covering the massive developments in the Mideast war? Not even an old, prerecorded report he can pretend to talk to? Does he really believe attacking Annie takes precedence over war?

Answer: yes he does. It's that vaunted Olbermann News Judgment at work again! First, another victory for Olbermann Watch. We scolded the discredited sports guy for spiking the story of the newspaper vote that retained Coulter's column, and tonight he quickly tossed that factoid into his latest attack on Annie. Then it was off to cite Media Matters as an authority on Ann Coulter's footnotes because they found some of them to be incorrect or inaccurate. Apparently the only way we'll ever get Olby to talk about his own fake quotes and lies is to get Media Matters to write them up. Yeah, right. Self-admitted liar Brock was there to repay Olby for all the work he has done to promote the Soros site's partisan viewpoints. Said Keith:

Does anybody check any of this stuff any more?

Two days after doctoring and falsifying his own words to smear a more successful competitor, Rev Olby is sermonizing about fact-checking? It's loony time on OlbyPlanet. Teasers followed for tabloids, the Royals, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Cruise News! But does Krazy seem a bit disheartened? Why?

#2: Tabloids and the royal family (recycled network video), Paul McCartney, Heather Mills, Robin Williams, Peter Gammonds. #1: Brangelina and Cruise News, with the creepy Michael Musto (who called Ann Coulter "a female bastard"). 'Nuff said.

Once again, less than half of Countdown contains anything resembling substantive news. The rest is celebrities, videos, attacks, and King Creepy. As the hour ends, Keith probably headed straight for his bathtub. No liquor store, no cheap bottle of wine, no disposable tie tonight. There was no reason to celebrate. The reason for Olby's doldrums? His pal, his buddy, his close friend, his inamorato was disloyal. Seditious. Traitorous. Yes, John Dean went and did an interview with...Bill O'Reilly.

Is there anything so sad as unrequited love?

I am going on the road again (California today) and know folks want to discuss the Connecticut Primary. As it will surely be the #5 story (i.e. the lead) on Countdown, here is a thread for that purpose. Have at it...

There once was an Olbermann blog
Where many a person would flog
Olby's fans must admit
We righties have wit
When roasting their hero who's clogged

I've gathered the Olbywatch prose
For all to enjoy I suppose
In one central place
To mock Olby's face
And awaken olbyloons who doze

I've fancied the poems of the post
Mocking our dear Countdown host
Olbywatch blog is where
You can read all that are there
And join in the Olbermann roast

We welcome all to enter do dare
To enjoy the limericks we'll share
Roasting Olbly the man
With the orange-tinged tan
But Olbyloons we beg to beware

Olbermann Limericks

In response to March 2006 posts:

There once was a man named Olbermann
Who fancied himself as a Doberman.
He had his own show
Oh! The hot air he'd blow
Unwatchable? Yes, for a Soberman

There once was a man named Keith
Who when angry would show his teeth.
Bill O'Reilly he hated,
And taunted and baited.
A sewer he lived underneath.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 1, 2006 12:51 AM

In celebrating Meltdown's pending cancellation...

There once was crazy man Keith
For him, there was no beneath
He'd sunken so low
They cancelled his show
On Meltdown there now hangs a wreath

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 1, 2006 04:36 PM

Orange is the hue of the face
Of the man whose show's in last place
But he gained no appeal
Cause the tan wasn't real
Worse yet was his show--a disgrace

The Hour of Spin's full of chatter
From libs as mad as a hatter
Distortions and lies
Are common as flies
To Olby the truth doesn't matter

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 08:41 AM

Haiku for Olby

"Apricot Man" -- variations on a theme

Unnatural hue
Man tan burns the soul
Watch it spin

Sour apricot
Pit of pure evil
Poison skin

"Chamelion"

Lizard basking
Can you turn orange?
Yes indeed!

"Spin Me"

Countdown hits
Orange kaleidoscopic confusion
Room spins

Posted by: KfK at April 2, 2006 01:05 PM

The tan's not a fake was the claim
From Olby, the spinner of fame
But he appeared on the tube
With a very strange hue
Like a giant orange facial stain

The guest on the show named Dean
Was a felon with a record unclean
He raved and he ranted
With views that were slanted
Such hypocrisy rarely seen

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 02:44 PM

I'm having all the fun so I want the OlbermannWatch community to join in and help me with my latest limerick:

Olby was once more obssessed
With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
The ratings came in
He got his ass kicked again
__________________________________ .

Finish the last line for me! Bonus points if you can work in something that mentions "man tan"

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 10:24 PM

Olby was once more obssessed
With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
The ratings came in
He got his ass kicked again
Surprise, Dana Millbank's the guest!

O.K, that was too easy.

Posted by: ObserverDan at April 3, 2006 12:25 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
It's no wonder the ratings are low
Olby's stuck in last spot
With skin apricot
Meltdown's host has a slight orange glow

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 3, 2006 04:08 PM

There once was a show that count down
Hosted by a pumpkin-hued clown
He lost the ratings race
Even bitch-slapped by Ms. Grace
The orange one was forced to leave town

Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 04:55 PM
There once was an orange-tinted ass
That spewed venom and possessed little class
O'Reilly he hated
And daily he baited
Was the man-tan so he could pass?

Posted by: Joe Torre at April 4, 2006 08:25 AM

--------------------------------------------------
In response to April 2006 posts

There once was " Flight 93"
That the "critics" said was too soon to see.
But is that the real reason?
No, it's because election season
Is here. From the Dems we shall flee!

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 10:29 PM

There once was a tv hack
On his show would be quack after quack.
His guests would come on
And distort, lie, and con
Because truth, indeed, they did lack.

Hey Keith Olbermann, it's time to play the national anthem and sign off....forever. Your show is done.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 12:44 AM

With O'Reilly the kook is obsessed
Spews venom like a demon possessed
Meltdown has no taste
Of bandwidth, a waste
Geraldo would be his last guest

Posted by: Bill Gates at April 29, 2006 09:49 AM

To O'Reilly he likes to give flak
But compared, he's just a hack
For a moment stop hating
And look at the rating
Olby's taking it right up the crack

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at April 29, 2006 10:08 AM

He's been found in the fetal position
That's bizarre no matter what your condition
Under his desk he was quivering
Uncontrollably shivering
For Keith, an occupational tradition

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 29, 2006 11:19 AM

There once was a man named Rush
Who's ratings made the loony lefties blush.
But one day they got their chance
To get rid of him and dance
But they failed and all you hear now is a hush.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 10:29 PM

There once was show that count down
With a host that resembled a clown
With his size 14 shoe
And apricot hue
"Krusty" Keith was scorned in each town

Posted by: Anonymous at May 1, 2006 12:32 AM

Olby an obnoxious fellow
Had the hue of a fruity tangelo
All the guests that you see
With Olby agree
Which shows his true colors--yellow!

Posted by: hank at May 1, 2006 09:48 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Urine is yellow
Keith Olbermann is too.

There once was a man named Kaplan
And he thought he knew what was happnin'.
So he hired this dude
Who was crass, dumb, crude
And his ratings were a pile of nothin'.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 07:42 PM

The host in the eight o'clock slot
Has a face with a hue apricot
The narcissistic tan
Is pure Olbermann
It's sad when that's all that you've got

Posted by: Paris Hilton at April 27, 2006 07:54 PM

There once was a man named blucaller
Who, at conservatives, would always holler.
He'd lose his composure
With overexposure
On this site. Dude, wear a shockcollar!

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:35 PM

There once were these folks called liberals
Who would always tell lies and fiberals.
Oh, their talk was so sillary
Like "Let's all vote for hillary"
That you'd laugh 'till you'd break your riberals.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:43 PM

Fact-checker is not on the staff
So each night we all get to laugh
NBC spews it's lies
Through Keith's beady eyes
Meltdown's a journalistic gaffe

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 28, 2006 01:55 PM

There once was a little game
Played by those like demonstrably lame.
They would wine and they'd pout
They believed they had clout.
And would yearn to gain left-wing fame.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 03:05 PM

Keith's thousands of fans adore him,
You right-wing loonies abhor him,
His outstanding prose
Makes you jealous I suppose
So you pick on him ad nauseum.

Posted by: SherryStarr at May 1, 2006 10:19 PM

In this world there are things called lies
Which good folks detest and despise.
But there are folks on the left
Who are completely bereft
Of ideas. But is that a suprise.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 10:42 PM

A moonbat poster named Jill
Gets ever loonier still
Hates Bush with a passion
Cause it's the lib fashion
Thinks the best prez was Bill

Posted by: hank at April 27, 2006 12:03 AM

There once was a host with no life
With a man named Bill he would strife
Whose cage he would rattle
But always last in their battle
Turn your back and in goes his knife

Posted by: Tony Snow at April 27, 2006 09:41 AM

His fans think his words are prothetic
The fact is his show is pathetic
He's just a moonbat lib
He likens himself glib
Meltdown works like an anesthetic

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 27, 2006 10:31 AM

Meltdown is pawned off as a "news show"
NBC has it's head in the Snow
The beady-eyed host
In the ratings, he's toast
So roll out creep Michael Musto

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 27, 2006 03:42 PM

There once lived a moonbat named Keith
"He's crazy" his shrink did bequeath
His "news show" is lame
Last in the ratings game
Nancy Grace he falls way beneath

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 26, 2006 09:06 AM

There once was a man (?) name blucaller
Who did nasty things for only a dollar.
He'd watch Keith at 8
And shout " Ain't he great!"
To the T.V. he'd say " YO Yo Keith, holler!"

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 08:17 PM

His friends include kook Charlie Sheen
Chuck's 9/11 comments were mean
Opened mouth and he shat
Another crazy moonbat
Like chief left-wing loon Howard Dean

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 25, 2006 11:06 AM

He scrapes out his life as a talker
In the lens he stares like a gawker
Quite a strange creature
He tracked down his teacher
His shrink diagnosed him a stalker

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 25, 2006 11:47 AM

There once lived a moonbat called Frick
Frack was his boyfriend Dan Patrick
Frick worshiped Frack
For the hole in his crack
Add Michael Musto, it's a hat trick

Posted by: Moe Rocca at April 22, 2006 01:11 PM

His distortions of fact make one cringe
It's beyond the lunatic fringe
The venom he spews
He refers to as "news"
His shrink says he'll likely unhinge

Posted by: Wikipedia Blogger at April 22, 2006 11:35 AM

There once was an arrogant jerk
Who had a show on a cable network.
He would host Tavis Smiley
Attack Bill O'Reilly
And his ratings? Near the bottom, they'd lurk.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 24, 2006 01:32 PM

His friends include loon Charlie Sheen
I've heard that 'ole Chuck can't come clean
Olby's cohorts are whack
Keith's just a left-wing hack
A moonbat that's crazier than Dean

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 24, 2006 01:44 PM

There once was a man from Secaucus
Whose show was rowdy and raucous.
But the truth was much bleaker
For the left wing truth seeker
His show was completely obnoxious.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 12:12 AM

There once was a man with no gonads
Who would parrot all the left wing attack ads.
To nobody's surprise,
He would spew out his lies,
For John Dean, he would dust off the knee pads.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 01:24 AM

NBC claims it's a "news show"
That claim is false, we all know
Meltdown's parade of loons
Sing the same worn-out tunes
To the host with the curious glow

Posted by: Phil Donahue at April 22, 2006 10:37 AM

There once was a host who talked trash
O'Reilly and Bush he would bash
Always affronting
But never confronting
He liked to name-call and then dash

Posted by: Gerlado Rivera at April 21, 2006 10:52 AM

The fans of KO are moonbats
Some know how to read... congrats
Only a tool
Would worship this fool
That's why Olby's fans wear ass hats

Posted by: Barbara Bush at April 21, 2006 03:17 PM

I see "Barbara Bush" ain't a fan;
She's free to opine, if she can.
There's just one odd thing
About the right wing--
Why can't you conservatives scan?

Posted by: sylvia at April 21, 2006 10:02 PM

I'm new to this online dispute,
And know not where the problems took root
Between "Johnny Dollar"
And Mr. "Blucaller"
But I think their bickering's cute.

Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:01 AM

Puck says if the Olbermann show
Had more Keith and less video
The ratings would rise!
I'm left to surmise
He must be a fan of KO. . .

Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:34 AM

Statements of fact they are few
From the boy with the apricot hue
"News Show" claims NBC
That's a joke, journalistically
Since when did news have to be true?

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 19, 2006 07:26 PM
His face has an orange-hued tinge
His comments make sane people cringe
He's not thought of too highly
By his arch-rival O'Reilly
The host of Meltdown's off his hinge

Posted by: Katie Couric at April 19, 2006 03:56 PM

The rantings of a loon named Frost
Makes me think he's hitting the sauce
He claims "persecution"
And wants "revolution"
And you wonder why libs are so lost?

Posted by: hank at April 19, 2006 04:04 PM

The host of Meltdown's insane
He whacked his head on the train
Now his thinking ain't right
Attacks women for spite
He's hiding under his desk again

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 18, 2006 09:30 AM

His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
He can't hold a job
Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:51 AM

His curious orange color is fading
The same can be said for his rating
Most find him deplorable
Extremely abhorable
Red are the states he is hating

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 15, 2006 10:06 AM

His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
He can't hold a job
Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:38 AM

A double Olby limerick for Easter:

Olby went one day to his shrink
And cried: "No cares what I think!"
"My ratings are down
They think I'm a clown,
It's enough to make a man drink!"

Olby was soon past his trial
And went into deep denial
"I'm really quite good,
I'm misunderstood"
"It's time to spew moonbat bile!"

Posted by: hank at April 16, 2006 08:22 PM

There once was a libby named Jack
Who couldn\'t be more than a hack
Try as he might
Jack couldn\'t be right
But he insists on keep coming back!

Posted by: Anonymous at April 19, 2006 06:37 PM

Olby's exposed as a loon
And a liar, fraud, and buffoon.
He brings up the rear
In the ratings each year
Which makes his ass kissers fume.

Posted by: hank at April 12, 2006 11:12 PM

With guests like Dana Milbank
Olby's ratings bottom the tank
Keith's spirit is mean
His motives unclean
Meltdown perpetuates last in rank

Posted by: jack at April 13, 2006 01:25 AM

Olby says "no" to dissent
Only views of a liberal bent
Are found on his show
With ratings so low
His audience meets in a tent.

Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 12:58 PM

The ratings for Olby went south
He was somewhat down in the mouth
But it only got worse
The dreaded curse!
He's losing to Zahn in a rout!

Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 04:09 PM

Yes Puck, He's an itellectual giant!
He's surpassed Aristotle in thought and reasoning!
He's put Einstein to shame.
What an honor to have a genius like that on this board!
We should be honored!

Posted by: O'Reilly Rules at April 12, 2006 08:21 PM

Fact-checker is not in the credit
It's wrong? We'll air it, not edit.
With an hour to fill
And no journalistic skill
Insert Rocaa or Musto... forget it.

Posted by: Katie Couric at April 6, 2006 09:16 AM

He's under his desk in the fetal position
"He's a kook" if you ask his physician
His docs are head-shrinking
To help alter his thinking
Prozac would help his present condition

Posted by: Former ESPN Staff at April 6, 2006 03:09 PM

There once lived a host and a fool
From both sides of his mouth did he drool
Another day, another dolor
For he of curious color
Krazy Keith... the left-wing tool

Posted by: Countdown Staff at April 5, 2006 12:41 PM

The loonies think Olby's a sage
And react with hysterical rage
When critics reveal
The facts he conceals
And the tan of a color so strange

Posted by: hank at April 5, 2006 05:21 PM

The left-wing hysteria spews nightly
From a host whose bulb shines not-so-brightly
Olby needs a new shrink
That's what his staff seems to think
Serious journalists scorn the kook rightly

Posted by: Monica Novotny at April 4, 2006 11:11 PM

Posters from states that are blue
Try to aid their man of orange hue
They sputter and grope
And search for some hope
But know his demise is due.

Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 08:18 PM

The libs were mighty incensed
When this site showed Olby was dense.
No guests except libs
With thier lies and fibs
And other assorted nonsense.

Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 11:16 PM

There once were these liberal house fraus
Who would gather for their liberal pow-wows.
They'd never be late
So they'd tune in at 8
For the man with those crazy, dark eyebrows.

How disappointed do you think Olby was when he found out what the "chasing tail" segment really was.?

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 4, 2006 12:39 AM

To mankind Olby is a disgrace
With attacks on Mrs. Bush and Ms. Grace
Only a cowardly boy
Would attack women for joy
Dick saw orange but shot the wrong face

Posted by: Jack at April 4, 2006 10:25 AM

There once was a far left wing post
That implied on my balls I would choke
she's bound to have doubts
when balls with such clout
are even to big for her throat

That would be a violent and empty post. It is a good thing that I'm above that:)

Posted by: Dave at April 4, 2006 01:25 PM

The guests provide no opposition
On the nightly Meltdown transmission
Keith banged his head
Now his brain must be dead
He's under his desk in the fetal position

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 4, 2006 06:45 PM

There once was a far left-wing poster
Olby facts would trump Bill he dare boasted
Ironic he lacks
the aforementioned facts
if he tried he'd get thoroughly roasted

Posted by: Dave at April 3, 2006 05:20 PM

The host of Countdown, he is gutless
Name-calls, then hides like the nutless
If he had any stones
He'd receive broken bones
And cable TV would have one putz less

Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 06:32 PM

Now Olby's attacking Lance Armstrong
On so many levels that's just wrong
Lance, he is great
Keith's filled with hate
Twisted dislikes are his swan song

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at June 1, 2006 09:55 AM

Krazy Keith is the news laughing stock
Countdown's the proverbial crock
Keith thinks he's funny
But his show's losing money
To rivals the sponsors will flock

Posted by: Ted Baxter at June 1, 2006 11:58 AM
---------------------------------------------------

In response to May Posts

If his show was a horse, it'd be shot.
If his show was a tooth, it'd have rot.
There's no way it will be swimmin'
With some hot bowlegged women.
Of the ladies, rest assured, Countdown has naught.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:20 AM

He's in bed with his butt-buddy Dan
Two prima donnas share an orange tan
Narcissistic and vain
Viewed with total disdain
More makeup and rouge... You da man!

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 31, 2006 08:37 AM

He's the host that clear thinkers despise
But the moonbats can't see through his lies
If his mouth is going
The mistruths are flowing
Meltdown's where truth wears a disguise

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 31, 2006 08:54 AM

There once was a show with one side
And its' ratings continued to slide.
Now a smart host would say,
" Let's have both sides in play."
But the brain of THIS host appears fried.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 11:31 AM

Keith was heard to exclaim,
" How'd I get so damn lame?
And it's too late to change
My personna so strange.
And O'Reilly kicks my ass in this game."

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:19 PM

He's the host who resides in last place
Ass kicked by O'Reilly and Grace
No amount of lying
Can deny Meltdown is dying
Krazy Keith thinks he's still in the race

Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at May 31, 2006 03:46 PM

Meltdown is the eight o'clock snore
Every night it's the same... what a bore
Attack Bush, Bill, and Pitt
Keep shoveling more shit
Krazy Keith is just NBC's whore

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 30, 2006 09:43 AM

Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
All America knows this fact, even his mom.
But the day will soon be here
When Countdown is outta here.
Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 05:05 PM

Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
All America knows this fact, even his mom.
But the day will soon be here
When Countdown is outta here.
Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 30, 2006 07:33 PM

Keith needed his huge eyebrows plucked,
And it was then Kaplan knew he was fucked.
So out to sea they did slip
On their rudderless ship.
Good God, how that whole network sucked.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 11:23 PM

" I think I've got it " Keith said one night, very wryly
With a face that one would say was rather smiley.
So he sold his soul to Satan
Hoping this would save his bacon.
But even Satan knows Keith can't beat Bill O'Reilly.

Keith just watches as his ratings drop and drop
Now his loony fans say our poetry must stop.
Well pardon me, friends, if I tell
All these loons to go to hell.
It's not our fault that Keith's lame show is such a flop.

Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Sunkist is orange
Keith Olbermann is too.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 27, 2006 11:57 AM

Every night it's an hour of spin
The guests are the host's moonbat kin
There's no opposing views
But they call it the "news"
Meltdown is an hour of sin

Posted by: Pat Robertson at May 28, 2006 09:36 AM

Pat Robertson, you speak the truth
Of that left wing dumbass, so uncouth.
For he's a wuss and a knave
To his lies, he's a slave.
But he thinks he's this brave super sleuth.

Posted by: Jerry Falwell at May 28, 2006 01:47 PM

He's the host that sane folks despise
The guests they will echo his lies
He's the industry joke
A pathetic, gutless bloke
Attacking colleagues is not very wise

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 29, 2006 09:23 AM

Dear leftists, there's no place to hide.
A limerick will not be denied.
You can whine, hiss, and cry
And wish that you' die.
Or just sit back and take in the ride.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 29, 2006 04:01 PM

Krazy Keith is truly a loser
To like his show, one must be a boozer.
For no sane man can stand
One who's so damned man tanned
Plus Countdown can be quite the snoozer.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:15 PM

Meltdown's a predictable show
Each night he attacks Mr. O
Krazy Keith's discontent
Is a boring non-event
It's no wonder the ratings are low

Posted by: Brian Unger at May 25, 2006 11:53 PM

He's the host that most seem to hate
Each night a one-sided debate
Meltdown is mind rot
Keith's face... apricot
Opposing views make his ego deflate

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 26, 2006 08:58 AM

He's the beady-eyed loon with no class
His face looks like Barbaro's ass
Krazy Keith needs some email
Regarding: cute ponytail
Looks like Barbaro's got a bad case of gas

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 25, 2006 06:03 PM

With guests like Dana Milbank
The ratings have bottomed the tank
The guests are all loon
Cancellation will be soon
Cuz Meltdown is smelling quite rank

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 25, 2006 09:30 AM

There once was a woman named Starr
Who found OW poets sub-par
She complained in a huff
You boys are too rough
Keith deserves better by far

Posted by: bill at May 25, 2006 09:47 AM

The moonbats inhabit his show
It's no wonder the ratings are low
The kooks will come out
To hear Keith rant and pout
And tell lies that habitually flow

Posted by: 25-54 demographic at May 24, 2006 09:42 AM

Meltdown is journalistically horrible
The host is sophomoric and deplorable
The guests are pure loon
That echo Keith's tune
Most find it extremely abhorrable

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 24, 2006 11:01 AM

Keith having a show is incomprehensible
And his bias is indefenseble.
But that didn't stop the true believers,
The liars and the deceivers,
Who themselves were reprehensible.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 11:35 AM

He's the beady-eyed host with a man-tan
His viewers include about one fan
His show's not rated highly
Nightly bitch-slapped by O'Reilly
Spewing lies is "pulling an Olbermann"

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 24, 2006 11:55 AM

Keith having a show is incomprehensible
And his bias is indefenseble.
But that didn't stop the true believers,
The liars and the deceivers,
Who themselves were reprehensible.

Oh man that sucked. P-Hew!

Gonna spray some lysol at my screen.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:03 PM

Sean Hannity Sucked on my balls.
and bill o'reilly still plays with his dolls.
but that's not as bad,
As Lou Dobbs licking his dad,
while cry'n bout immigrantion laws

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:15 PM

There once was a nameless poster
Who's life was a sad roller coaster.
He would troll on this site,
Scream and howl in sheer fright.
Just another gutless, loony left boaster.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 02:52 PM

There once was a dork named Fegan
whose mom fucked and sucked Ronald Reagan
she said "What an honor and Delight
Mr. president my Rear end is so tight
Please give me a golden shower I'm beggin'
Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:14 PM

In Secacus, there's no need to revel
In a show that can't reach a nice level.
So for those who still care
Why his show's on the air
It's quite clear that he's owned by the devil.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:17 PM

There once was a foul mouthed lefty
Who was full of shit, and therefore quite hefty.
He'd watch Keith every night
Then crap his pants with delight.
But his weekends were not quite as zesty.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:31 PM

Patrick was caught by pimp
Who beat him and gave him a limp
Oh please Please sir let me be.
And I'll you pay a handsome fee.
But he was beaten and re-named the gimp

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:54 PM

There once was a man called Anon
Who thought he could outsmart Fegan
But Patrick was quicker
Anon a bullshitter
"Anon",said Patrick,"be gone"

Posted by: bill at May 24, 2006 04:24 PM

The once was a man name bill
Who had absolutely no skill
his post was so bad
I wish his momma had had.
an abortion causing little pill

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 04:46 PM

There once was a no name turd
Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
He thought his posts were top drawer
But instead were quite poor.
'Cause with him, reality's blurred

Countdown is on life support
" No hope of recovery " says the report.
But Kaplan won't pull the plug
On the man with the orange mug.
Keith remains his network's big wort.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 06:27 PM

"There once was a no name turd
Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
He thought his posts were top drawer
But instead were quite poor.
'Cause with him, reality's blurred"

there once was a man who couldn't rhyme.
he was quite the puke and a slime.
he tried to ryhme drawer with poor
he did this because he's a boor.
he should quit and become a mime.

Countdown is on life support
" No hope of recovery " says the report.
But Kaplan won't pull the plug
On the man with the orange mug.
Keith remains his network's big wort.
Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 08:06 PM

Poor Keith had a creepy, weird stalker
Who fancied himself the smooth talker.
He'd send a fragrant bouquet
Every other Wednesday
Then hide naked and aroused in Keith's locker.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:24 PM

The left has sent Keith on a quest.
It's too bad that he's opposite the best.
For, you see, on Fox News
Where they air all the views
Mr. Bill kicks Keith's arse with great zest.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:56 PM

Anonymous and Keith were in love
So sweet! Like that of a dove.
For each other they'd reach
Then take walks on the beach.
It was truly the work from above.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:10 AM

He's the infamous, deplorable host
The blue-blogs will take down his post
Journalistically speaking
Krazy Keith is reeking
In the ratings he smells like burnt toast

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 23, 2006 10:01 AM
NBC is the news laughing stock
The viewers will scoff, jeer, and mock
The cuts, pastes, and spews
That they call the news
Is loon bait and the moonbats will flock

Posted by: Don Imus at May 23, 2006 11:53 AM

The host says he's mentally ill
And opposing viewpoints are nil
His ratings are low
Because people know
His fact free stories are shrill

Posted by: hank at May 23, 2006 11:56 AM

He roots for the team in pin stripes
Whose fans are bandwagon butt-wipes
Meltdown's circling the drain
But Keith's at the game
With a guest loon to spew moonbat gripes

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 22, 2006 09:16 AM

My boss has his head up his ass
Attacks on colleagues? No class
The staff thinks he's a fool
But he's NBC's tool
Unrefined, insensitive, and crass

Posted by: Monica Novotny at May 22, 2006 09:39 AM

It's the same freakin' show every night
Evidently, the host ain't too bright
Predictable and boring
With the viewers, not scoring
The ratings track the show's sorry plight

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 19, 2006 09:32 AM

Does NBC have a functioning brain?
Cuz Meltdown is circling the drain
The sponsors aren't buying
Cuz Keith can't quit lying
Most view him with total disdain

Posted by: Tony Snow at May 17, 2006 10:09 AM

The boy from Secaucus is weird
With colleagues he's not too endeared
He bonked his head on the train
Now most think he's insane
Just a coward that's not to be feared

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 15, 2006 11:43 AM

His obsession with men is bizarre
The infatuation has gone way too far
Bill O'Reilly, Tom Cruise
And Rush Limbaugh are "news"
And in Olbyland Keith is the star

Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 15, 2006 11:58 AM

His staff thinks he's mentally ill
Try Prozac, it comes in a pill
His sibling is nuts
So he's not just a putz
Psychiatrists just can't get their fill

Posted by: Dan Patrick at May 15, 2006 02:15 PM

The network really needed a pawn
Insert Meltdown with host demon spawn
Krazy Keith's such a tool
I almost pity the fool
His show is the same every night (insert yawn)

Posted by: Rita Cosby at May 12, 2006 12:40 AM

He blurted out 200th visit
But the facts say two, which is it?
His lies are quite tangled
His reputation is mangled
If Meltdown were cancelled, who'd miss it?

Posted by: Jack Abramoff at May 10, 2006 10:46 PM

Krazy Keith would get hopping mad
And his fans felt awfully sad.
'Cause his big, bold adventure
Was like an old man's gross denture:
Very slimy, and smelling real bad.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 10, 2006 11:12 PM

There once was a Mann named Olber,
Who found it quite hard to stay sober.
So he dropped to his knees,
And said "pretty please,"
To the alien anal prober.

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at May 11, 2006 12:35 AM

The advertisers aren't buying
Last place is where Meltdown is vying
Commercials must be sold
So untruths will be told
If Keith's lips are moving, he's lying

Posted by: The Ratings Police at May 11, 2006 09:00 AM

There once was a kook Krazy Keith
Each night he'd lie through his teeth
He talked a lot of smack
The proverbial lying sack
So low, there was no beneath

Posted by: Barry Bonds at May 11, 2006 09:23 AM

Meltdown is the industry joke
On competitor's dust it does choke
Journalistically bad
The host is a cad
His rivals he tries to provoke

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 11, 2006 10:02 AM

In the ratings he just can't keep pace
Bitch-slapped every night by Ms. Grace
So the numbers he'll skew
And more lies he will spew
But alas, he's stuck in last place

Posted by: Paula Zahn at May 11, 2006 11:21 AM

One morning they find they are fu@#ed,
Their hero-in-chief: how he's sucked!
They search high and low,
to diffuse failure's glow,
so in Keith a straw man they construct.

Posted by: Lefty McGee at May 11, 2006 12:23 PM

Keith and his fans are one.
Their agenda and ideas are done.
So let's give them a hand
For their Custer like stand.
Looking back, they had a nice run.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 11, 2006 01:06 PM

The GE stockholders are mad as hell
Meltdown's in last and the ads won't sell
NBC's a big joke
For employing a bloke
Whose ethics emit a bad smell

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 10, 2006 10:03 AM

The network is called NBC
It's run by the goons at GE
If the propaganda it spews
Is called Nightly News
Then Countdown defines insanity

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at May 10, 2006 10:49 AM

Spewing his bile quite freely
Watching Olby was making me sleepy
He's last in his slot
'Cause his content is rot
And often I find it quite creepy

Posted by: hank at May 10, 2006 05:26 PM

Meltdown's in the eight o'clock slot
Intelligent writing it's not
Sophomoric at best
More strip clubs, more chest!
Does a child run Keith's looney lot?

Posted by: Bart Simpson at May 10, 2006 05:42 PM

Each night it's the same song and dance
The attacks, the lies, and the rants
His obsession with Bill
Is disturbing and shrill
Another season? He won't stand a chance

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 9, 2006 09:05 AM

There once was a show in last place
The host simply couldn't keep pace
Pimp-slapped by the rest
The pathetic little pest
Spewed hate from his orange-tinted face

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 9, 2006 11:57 AM

A song for our orange faced friend and his bosses. Sing along at http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/oompa.htm:

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get when your host is a brat
Pouting and shouting about this and that
Making up stories and hiding in shame
You know exactly who's to blame (BWA BWA)

THE EXEC-U-TIVE PRO-DU-CER

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get from Olby TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or can you just not bear to look?

You'll get no...you'll get no...you'll get no commercials

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you're not dopey, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Unlike Olby the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Posted by: KfK at May 9, 2006 01:23 PM

He's the beady-eyed kook on cable
His guests from a moonbat stable
It's like a cartoon
An orange-tinted loon
Playing host that's mentally unstable

Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 9, 2006 02:05 PM

"F you mother f-er" to quote
It's part of the "news" that he wrote
Meltdown's a disgrace
No wonder last place
Hear the orange one pathetically gloat

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at May 6, 2006 09:24 AM

there once was a man named Jack Frost
Who, when posting, much energy did exaust.
He thought he was money
And cool, smooth and funny.
But truth is, he appeared to be lost.

To the detractors of limericks: Accept them before they destroy you.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 06:27 PM

People spoke out in force
And joined our nation's discourse.
But one man disagreed
"It adds nothing" he'd plead.
He's, indeed, the backside of a horse.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 09:43 PM

The orange one sings the nightly blues
Attacks on O'Reilly, Bush, and Cruise
It's become quite boring
In the ratings, not scoring
Can NBC really call this crap "news"?

Posted by: Family Guy at May 8, 2006 08:43 AM

Poor Keith is so darn Krazy
Either that or he's very lazy.
For he seems out to lunch
And his show has no punch.
On what's truth, he appears to be hazy.

Krazy Keith was jealous of Fox
At their building he was seen throwing rocks.
He would shout " They love Bush,
An agenda they push.
How can people tune in by the flocks? "
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 8, 2006 06:36 PM

Keith Olbermann talked a big game
About Rove outing Valerie Plame.
But not one shred of proof
Was procured by this goof.
So I guess that Fox News is to blame.

There once was a man with no balls
Who answered the loony left's calls.
He began a crusade
To come to its' aid
By sticking pins in George Bush voodoo dolls.

One of Krazy Keith's least favorite sites
Was a blog of a thousand delights.
Called " Olbermann Watch "
It exposed the huge blotch
That could never reach O'Reilly's heights.

There once was a spineless coward
Who made the lefties feel empowered.
For he was the man
With the sexy orange tan
On whom all their adoration was showered.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 4, 2006 10:53 PM

The stockholders are really pissed
They want the orange one dismissed
Meltdown's bleeding money
They don't think that's funny
In the ratings he's last on the list

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 5, 2006 10:10 AM

The lies they flow like a faucet
NBC should take Meltdown and toss it
The show Keith created
Resembles something masturbated
Ethics draw the line and he crossed it

Posted by: Peter North at May 5, 2006 12:50 PM

Why is it so darn easy
To poke fun at one so sleazy.
It's because no dissent
Is allowed to present
Other views, for it makes the host queasy.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 5, 2006 01:43 PM

His rivals he glibly will slight
When confronted he hides with much fright
Meltdown is pure bunk
The host is a punk
He likes to talk smack but won't fight

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at May 4, 2006 09:26 AM

The personal attack he does savor
But whines when they return favor
The orange hypocrite
Is so full of sh!t
All journalist rights he should waiver

Posted by: Dan Rather at May 4, 2006 01:42 PM

There once was a man who was crass
Who the loony left tuned in en masse.
But as much as they tried
The show nightly died.
As a real show, it never could pass.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 11:21 PM

Each night he sings the same worn-out tune
Bash Bush, O'Reilly, and Cruise... what a loon
Meltdown is predictable
The host is despicable
His show will be cancelled by June

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 3, 2006 09:32 AM

His shrink says he's mad as two hatters
He lift and reads Media Matters
On his show the lies will spew
In his mouth, size 14 shoe
Countdown is the show where crap splatters

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 3, 2006 11:47 AM

NBC has an hour to fill
But the host has no journalistic skill
So that facts he shall spin
"Lift and read" from his kin
And lose nightly to arch-rival Bill

Posted by: Uberloon at May 2, 2006 12:04 PM

The weirdest thing that I've seen
Is this man who's half man, half tangerine.
He has the appeal of a skunk
And spews nothing but bunk.
No truth from his show one can glean.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 11:43 PM

The parade of moonbats march nightly
For the host whose orange face shines brightly
The load of crap that he spews
NBC claims as news
The ratings prove Meltdown unsightly

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 2, 2006 10:12 AM

There was a show with a host, who
Concerning Democrat scandals said boo.
For in his orange universe
Which was oh so perverse,
He concocted his Bush-hating brew.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 03:42 PM

There once was a man with no nuts
Who acted, you'll admit, like a putz.
He wished folks take him serious
A request too delirious
For the man-tool displayed zero guts.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 05:56 PM

Dan Abrams is the NBC boss
Meltdown is the show he should toss
Keep Rita and Tucker
Lose the orange motherf*cker
Who lifts and reads Daily Kos

Posted by: Howie Mandel at July 2, 2006 10:28 AM

Keith's the host that sane folks will mock
His show is the hour of crock
He couldn't be wronger
His showÖ not much longer
Dead pool? Meltdown's on the clock

Posted by: Ann Coulter's Vagina at July 2, 2006 09:40 PM

His attacks on Fox News are quite shrill
He most recently slapped E.D. Hill
His cheap shots are brutal
But painfully futile
Check the ratings for Fox News and Bill

Posted by: Brian Kilmeade at July 3, 2006 03:34 PM

There once was a bard named Homer
Who was known as a bit of a roamer
'Twas true he couldn't see
And didn't care where he'd pee
So he pissed on "The Bushiad" of Gomer

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 4, 2006 12:00 AM

The orange one is seething with anger
Cuz she published a blog, gosh dang her
Much thanks for relief
She gazed in disbelief
The questions remains: did he bang her?

Posted by: Gomer Shakespeare at July 5, 2006 07:10 PM

Keef's a trainwreck in slow motion
Nervous breakdown or stroke? Get the notion?
He cheap-shotted a peer
Now the end's looming near
Sounds like Keef needs Viagra or lotion

Posted by: merkle923 at June 30, 2006 06:35 PM

He's obsessed with Bill O and Sean Hannity
Man-tan, Ashleigh's glasses, such vanity!
Bill O will amuse
By lighting his fuse
Viewers cringe and question his sanity

Posted by: Laughing Stagehand at July 2, 2006 11:52 AM

To the tops o' the ratings he aspires
And hopes and prays that Bill-O retires
Until then he e-mails
Many willing females
Then defames them all as ****ing liars

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 2, 2006 02:04 PM

----------------------------------

In response to June posts

Mrs. Olbermann claims she's a teacher
But her offspring is quite a creature
He's a lying cheap shot
Yes, that's what she taught
Attacks on women... another nice feature

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 29, 2006 12:15 PM

Krazy Keith and his mate "three hole" Patrick
Is that why they call Dan "the hat trick"?
Keith destroyed his own show
So it's off to radio
More obscenities to make us all sick

Posted by: Peter Karmanos at June 29, 2006 02:14 PM

His viewers are abandoning ship
His ratings not even a blip
Bitch-slapped in the face
By Ms. Zahn and Ms. Grace
Bill's ahead by a 9 to 1 clip

Posted by: Ratings Police at June 27, 2006 09:59 PM

Even O'Reilly's taking a swipe
At NBC and their cable "news" tripe
Primetime bottom-feeder
Krazy Keith is their leader
His show's based on nothing but hype

Posted by: Rush Limbaugh at June 27, 2006 11:49 PM

His show is a platform for hate
His guests won't engage in debate
He's spiteful and mean
His email's obscene
GE should send him home in a crate

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 28, 2006 09:02 AM

He's an authority for the insane
Since he whacked his head on the subway train
Sanity he'll attack
Say pot-kettle-black
Maybe Celiac has infected his brain

Posted by: merkle666 at June 27, 2006 11:15 AM

He lost Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
His guests like to kiss lots of asses
Except Michael Musto
He wants someone to blow
And Keef needs anger management classes

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 27, 2006 11:29 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
The ratings have hit a new low
He's a strange guy
The cringe factor's high
In the Village he's known as man-ho

Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
The ratings have hit a new low
He's a strange guy
The cringe factor's high
In the Village he's known as man-ho

Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM

Krazy Keith is circling the drain
Desperate efforts to save are in vain
The numbers don't lie
Say "Meltdown, bye-bye"
And Keith's off to asylum insane

Posted by: Rita Cosby at June 23, 2006 04:00 PM

There's only one side to his topic
No retort or debate? That's myopic
The guests lick his boots
Blue blogs in cahoots
His ratings have become microscopic

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 23, 2006 07:29 AM

Meltdown is the cable news bore
Guest moonbats like Dean and Algore
They must not give a damn
Keef's a journalistic sham
Moneyshot for ratings like a whore

Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 23, 2006 11:38 AM

Keith acts like a 10 year old child
His accusations go way beyond wild
If I were attacked as much
As O'Reilly and such
Police charges would have to be filed

Posted by: Tom Cruise at June 23, 2006 12:32 PM

He's the primetime cable "news" hack
Paste and read cuz he doesn't know jack
Smear Ann Coulter as gay
Call it a day
But it's Keith sucking hairy nutsack

Posted by: Hairy Belafonte at June 23, 2006 01:11 PM

He's got Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
He's considered insane by the masses
The guests echo his lies
He's the one most despise
Is Celiac causing off gasses?

Posted by: Matt Drudge at June 20, 2006 07:37 PM

NBC is the home of the loon
Connie, Cramer, Oafie... what a boon
Their case is a basket
Connie blew a gasket
They'll all be deep-sixed soon

Posted by: Dan Abrams at June 20, 2006 09:39 AM

e's the infamous, deplorable host
The moonbats removed his last post
His email's obscene
He's obsessive and mean
The one that colleagues despise most

Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 18, 2006 10:14 AM

The host likes to send viewers hate mail
While his show it continues to fail
He's vulger and crass
Celiac gives him gas
His emails should land him in jail

Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 17, 2006 10:26 AM

He's not only dumb, he's insane
Celiac must be in his brain
The emails he did
Proves he's insipid
His "news" show is circling the drain

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 16, 2006 08:48 AM

NBC is pathetic as hell
Their newsroom belongs in a cell
Keith is their man
(He's got a good tan)
Spokesman for the lies that they tell

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 15, 2006 10:50 PM

There once was a loon with a "news" show
He choked after eating a large crow
He thought he was funny
Soon he's making no money
Hawking jock straps on sports radio

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 15, 2006 10:26 PM

Dan Abrams must fire the guy
Each day the cringe factor's high
Meltdown's good as dead
But "I'm sorry" he said
We all know that's just another lie

Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 15, 2006 07:59 PM

Meltdown is now in the dead pool
Keith tossed out like a dull tool
"I'm sorry" said Keith
Hall Of Fame I bequeath
A fitting end for the cowardly fool

Posted by: Tucker Carlson at June 15, 2006 01:18 PM

Taking cheap shots at colleagues... no class
Soon he'll be out on his ass
His schtick is tired
Dan says "You're fired"
Meltdown is sophomoric and crass

Posted by: Alex Gordan at June 14, 2006 11:19 AM

Meltdown's host is missing in action
Is there discord within Oafie's faction?
Unger's wearing Keef's hat
Just another moonbat
No viewers is the public reaction

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 14, 2006 09:18 AM

There once was a guest-host named Unger,
Who went at his job like a plunger.
So while he worked,
And jerked, and jerked, and jerked...
Ol' Keef was content with his bunger.

Posted by: Edward Lear at June 12, 2006 09:12 PM

Would the Krazy man please go away
He scares the children each day
His rants are sophomoric
He's fired? Euphoric!
No wife? No kids? Is he gay?

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 10, 2006 05:05 PM

Ann Coulter's much smarter than Keith
He's many IQ points beneath
Debate? He cannot
So he'll take a cheap shot
"Oafermann", the name I bequeath

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 11, 2006 08:54 AM

On TV there's no bigger fool
For years he's been Kaplan's tool
Now Kaplan's out
Keith's still a lout
And Meltdown is now in the dead pool

Posted by: Alan Greenspan at June 11, 2006 12:13 PM

Rick Kaplan didn't quit, he was fired
Krazy Keith is the moonbat he hired
Rick's ideas were failing
So NBC sent him sailing
And his shows will soon be retired

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 9, 2006 10:07 AM

The stockholders were getting quite tired
They wanted Rick Kaplan quite fired
TV viewers are choosers
His shows were all losers
Last place is where Meltdown is mired

Posted by: GE Stockholder at June 9, 2006 10:50 AM

He's the host that most viewers hate
He refuses to engage in debate
He's cowardly and weak
A chicken with a beak
Opposing views make his ego deflate

Posted by: Ann Coulter at June 7, 2006 09:24 AM

Meltdown's ruling czar said "I quit"
The host of the show said "Oh shit!"
Without the czar's backing
The host will be packing
His "news show" was never worth spit

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 7, 2006 05:52 PM

Meltdown is the cable news bore
The viewers have Keith on ignore
Attack O'Reilly each night
Keith's brain just ain't right
He's in last if you're keeping score

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at June 5, 2006 10:38 PM

The host must be mentally ill
His cries are becoming more shrill
His shrink says he's kooky
His tirades are spooky
He's got a weird obsession with Bill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 6, 2006 09:41 AM

Invasion excuses proved nil,
Yet on websites like this they bleat still,
In six months they'll know
Just how much they blow,
When Democrats take back the Hill.

Posted by: Betsy Ross at June 6, 2006 02:58 PM

There once was a man they called Dubya
Who creates a great deal of trouble-ya
From deficits to war
Airhead Conservatives roar,
"Oh Georgie, we certainly do Luv-ya!"

Posted by: Yo Baby! at June 6, 2006 03:54 PM

Meltdown has an orange tinted host
O'Reilly is watched by the most
Keith's viewers are none
So take cheap shots and run
He's all self-promotion and boast

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 5, 2006 12:47 PM

The moonbats inhabit his show
Milbank, Franken, and Musto
Their shit isn't funny
Meltdown's losing money
It's about time this loser should go

Posted by: Paula Zahn at June 5, 2006 05:17 PM

Krazy Keith must be mentally ill
To explain his obsession with Bill
We all knew he was kooky
But now it's become spooky
His shrink should prescribe him a pill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 1, 2006 10:53 PM

On O'Reilly he likes to rip
On reality he's lost a grip
He's one obsessive guy
The cringe factor is high
Stale cheap-shots must be his trip

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 2, 2006 10:22 AM

Krazy Keith's finally gone off the deep end
Who edits transcripts once they've hit "send"?
Someone dropped the dime
Olby does it all the time
Is it Voxant he wants to defend?

Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at June 2, 2006 11:03 AM

There once was a lame ass broadcaster
Who's show was a nightly disaster.
Even though that Keith stunk
Like the neighborhood skunk,
He was loved by Rick Kaplan, his master.

Posted by: Edgar Allan Poe at June 2, 2006 02:01 PM

While his colleagues are dodging a shell
Meltdown features puppets and Mel
The cringe factor's high
No need to ask why
Keith belongs in a thick-padded cell

Posted by: Dr. Phil at August 1, 2006 10:44 AM

--------------------------------------------------

In response to July posts

The ratings are low for his station
His show on the brink of cessation
The big story's abroad
Where's the journalist-fraud?
On Leno, then it's time for vacation

Posted by: merkle928 at July 31, 2006 08:29 AM

While his colleagues are getting a story
Olby basks in his own perceived glory
He'll do the Tonight Show
But to Beirut he won't go
Another kook like Connie and Maury

Posted by: Geraldo at July 25, 2006 05:51 PM

Tick-tick-tick goes the cuckoo clock
Down, down, down goes the GE stock
Keith's in the Dead Pool
He's been NBC's tool
Somewhere for the moonbats to flock

Posted by: Implosion Pending at July 25, 2006 02:19 PM

It's the biggest news story of the year
But Krazy Keith must be hiding in fear
He's a no-show
But he's booked on Jay Leno
It's no wonder his colleagues all jeer

Posted by: Al Jazeera at July 24, 2006 11:25 PM

Dan Abrams has a master plan
Trick viewers it's not Olbermann
Keith as O'Reilly
Will be rated more highly
And he won't be in last place again

Posted by: Much Thanks at July 24, 2006 12:15 PM

Mr. Man-Tan pissed on the Jews
Does anyone care at NBC "News"?
According to Dan
Keith is their man
And they support the hate that he spews

Posted by: For this Relief at July 24, 2006 12:24 PM

Irena Briganti speaks truth
A train wreck for Keith the Uncouth
With his pending implosion
And ratings erosion
Keith's viewers all fit in a phone booth

Posted by: Mafia don at July 22, 2006 09:35 AM

While Lewinsky gave Billy-bob head
They planned to make Americans dead
Clinton's too busy
The intern's all jizzy
Bill did nothing. George did. Nuf sed

Posted by: Cigar Afficionado at July 20, 2006 04:58 PM

Say "Coultergeist" and hear Keith tee-hee
That's sad. How old is he? Three?
He's mean and he's vile
His humor infantile
The laughing stock of cable TV

Posted by: merkle928 at July 18, 2006 11:24 PM

NBC is the cable news tabloid
Stuck to the bottom like a hemorrhoid
Since when did the news
Include Britney and Cruise?
And a cable news host that's a schizoid?

Posted by: Sigmund Freud at July 19, 2006 02:08 PM

The Middle East is going up in a flame
So Keith interviews Mr. Valerie Plame?
That's a ratings disaster
His rivals will plaster
Last place and only Keith is to blame

Posted by: Relative Obscurity at July 18, 2006 12:55 AM

He's obsessed with Ann Coulter and Bill
His whining is becoming more shrill
Girl-fan appearing
At his sanity hearing
To proclaim that he's mentally ill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at July 14, 2006 11:15 PM

For KO to interview Ms. Plame
Would mean a new plateau of fame
Then with Joe he'd toke
And do lines of coke
All this, and Bush is to blame

Posted by: BirdmanOfAlcatraz at July 15, 2006 01:03 AM

Keef's been a "journalist" for 27 years
What has he learned? Attack Britney Spears!
All the time and the college
To attain tabloid knowledge
Keef should consider switching careers

Posted by: Kevin Federline at July 16, 2006 09:32 AM

On Meltdown where the ratings are low
Keith rolls out spook Michael Musto
The children should hide
Creepy-weird bonafide
One more reason the viewers don't show

Posted by: Much Thanks at July 17, 2006 02:44 PM

One hundred attacks, a new best
Do you think Keef will give it a rest?
His schtick is mundane
His cheap shots in vain
Dull wits are the product of incest

Posted by: Geraldo O'Reilly at July 15, 2006 09:55 PM

The reason I suck is so simple
I'm nothing but a nasty ass pimple.
It's talent I lack
So I'm forced to attack.
But Dean says I got a cute dimple!

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at July 15, 2006 10:15 PM

PETA should be onto this fool
To beat a dead horse is just cruel
The O'Rivalry's dead
Please examine Keith's head
He's stammering like a dull tool

Posted by: merkle928 at July 16, 2006 12:55 AM

Krazy Keith is last on the list
From Ms. Grace and Ms. Zahn, the fist
Keith's not in the race
He's stuck in last place
Hey Keith, are you getting the gist?

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:39 AM

Keith brags about Meltdown's standing
But in the cellar is where he is landing
Such a miserable hack
He's thirty games back
An ass-kicking his rivals are handing

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:52 AM

Keith attacks Ann Coulter every night
I'd take Ann even odds in a fight
She'd bring her gun
Mr. Man-Tan would run
Under his desk to tremble with fright

Posted by: merkle928 at July 12, 2006 10:38 PM

He's the host that's obnoxious and loud
Cindy Sheehan is part of his crowd
Keith defines moonbat
He's wearing an ass hat
His mother has got to be proud

Posted by: Maureen Dowd at July 12, 2006 03:27 PM

"For this relief..." spewed the orange-tinted man
"...Much thanks" he drooled to his fan
Then he dumped her thru email
Someone died... a tall tale
Another day, another dolar, another tan

Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 03:50 PM

On radio he sniffs sweaty jocks
On tv he attacks women at Fox
He's a journalistic hack
His pot has a crack
"For this relief, much thanks" when he stalks

Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 09:54 PM

In school was it math that Keith failed?
Or should NBC's research be jailed?
Their numbers are lies
His logic defies
Sanity based on comments he emailed

Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 01:11 AM

When he laughs, it truly is weird
Oh yes! It's worse than you feared!
You would cringe if you'd hear it
So never get near it.
If so, your brain will be seared.

Posted by: Pat Fegan at July 12, 2006 01:21 AM

If Meltdown's ratings are really so hot
Why does it always show up in last spot?
If up fifty percent
Why not a dent?
Another mistruth and Krazy Keith's caught

Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 01:26 AM

He gets bitch-slapped each night by Ms. Grace
But he brags that he's in the race
Keith keeps on lying
But the sponsors aren't buying
A show that resides in last place

Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 09:40 AM

Krazy Keith has forgotten one fact
That GE stockholders own his contract
If last place he's mired
Then he will be fired
They'll deep-six the pot that is cracked

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 12, 2006 10:23 AM

NBC says that Keith is their man
Is he the guy with the apricot tan?
He's obsessed with Ann's crotch
The facts he will botch
"For this relief" he's bangin' his fan

Posted by: Adam Apple at July 10, 2006 09:12 AM

Keith's life has become quite obscene
Vulgar emails, "this relief", and John Dean
Implosion imending
The inevitable ending
Is oblivion where he'll rarely be seen

Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 04:48 PM

Keith's hero is deformed baby Stewie
For most of us it's all just pa-tooey
His obsessions are quite clear
But can't get his libido in gear
So at odd times his shorts are all gooey

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 11, 2006 03:01 PM

A disbarred lawyer is his expert on law
So absurd it makes one guffaw
Keith's guest is a crook
Convicted felon hawks book
It's ludicrous and slackens one's jaw

Posted by: Moral Force at July 10, 2006 07:47 PM

The left has their liberal thinkers
In debate sound like liberal drinkers
Keith is their man
So is Cindy Sheehan
News jockey and jack-ass with blinkers

Posted by: Pat Day at July 9, 2006 08:57 AM

There once was a chap on the tellie
Who's show always upset my belly.
I'd try pepto and such
And my pillow I'd clutch
All because I tuned into this nellie!

Posted by: Rudyard Kipling at July 9, 2006 11:08 PM

Come Monday Keith will be on his knees
For John Dean, the felon, the sleaze
Expect obscene attacks
From a couple of hacks
A disbarred legal expert? Oh please!

Posted by: G. Gordon Liddy at July 8, 2006 12:01 AM

Krazy Keith needs a sanity hearing
Even his colleagues are jeering
Keith's off his hinge
The viewers will cringe
At the snarky cheap shots and his sneering

Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 09:30 PM

Keith said "anal sex" and "fisting"
Thats "news" he keeps on insisting
His show's a disgrace
No wonder last place
NBC should pull Meltdown's listing

Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 10:23 AM

He's obsessed with Ann Coulter's crotch
Will the cheap shots up ratings a notch?
Keith can't have Ann
So he'll be bangin' his fan
"For this relief, much thanks", Olbywatch

Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 11:13 AM

There once was a man so psychotic
Who's brain was rather chaotic.
The way his mind works
Is to host leftist jerks
And repeat left wing lines so robotic.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 05:40 PM

On tv, there's a goofy, orange clown
Who's a coward of some world renown.
Yet this silly, sad knave
Still claims to be brave.
In his ego, he's starting to drown.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 09:13 PM

At Fox News they're rolling in money
At NBC the skies aren't so sunny
Their cable shows suck
Keith's run amuck
GE shareholders don't find it too funny

Posted by: GE Shareholder at July 5, 2006 07:20 PM

Meltdown is now in the Dead Pool
NBC will purge Keith like a loose stool
He says ratings are hot
So why still in last spot?
His mom's a teacher but she sure raised a fool

Posted by: Peter O' Toole at July 5, 2006 10:21 PM

It's become a familiar refrain
O'Donnell D Milbank the Brain
Never is heard
a discouraging word
As Olbermann circles the drain

Posted by: DavidBrock at July 5, 2006 11:07 PM

The loons flew low over Manhattan
Then an orange one tried to chase after 'em
But while they flew west
The eyebrowed one only flew left
so embarassing, even they coulnd't watch him

Posted by: CEB at July 6, 2006 10:39 AM

He's the moonbat that spews the mistruth
All his friends can fit in one phone booth
Accusations toward Ann?
And he's banging a fan?
Total meltdown for Keith the Uncouth

Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 12:22 PM

He believes his words are prophetic
But his emails prove he's pathetic
Insipid and mean
Correspondence obscene
For sex he needs a prosthetic

Posted by: Herpes man at July 3, 2006 11:32 PM

His post-coitus comments are creepy
"For relief, much thanks, now I'm sleepy"
For groupies he's trolling
Mr. Shakespeare is rolling
Keithës "C" list but acts V.I.P.

Posted by: Moral Force at July 4, 2006 09:16 AM

He solicits his fans for sex
But they say his unit won't flex
In bed he's pathetic
Just like an anesthetic
His emails are where he will vex

Posted by: Lex at July 3, 2006 09:31 AM

Soliciting groupies for sex, how lame
Now he's exposed like Valerie Plame
At sex he will fail
So he'll dump you by email
Keith's seeking misfortune and flame

Posted by: Moral Force at July 3, 2006 10:08 AM

KO's "Moral Force" is a farce
Thus viewership is quite sparse
So he hits on a lady
With tales of Malmedy
And ends up flat on his arse

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 3, 2006 01:06 PM

In response to August 2006 posts

Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
That claim makes his unibrow furrow
Just a journalistic hack
Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
That claim makes his unibrow furrow
Just a journalistic hack
Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

Bill's with the Secretary of State
While Keith ponders Mel Gibson's fate
And NBC wonders why
Keith's ratings aren't high
The ratings Keith likes to inflate

Posted by: Dangerous Demagogue at August 1, 2006 11:38 PM

[ed. note: we will continue to add new limericks each month]

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• CONNECTICUT PRIMARY: Chris Matthews, host of MSNBC's "Hardball with Chris Matthews"; Mike Allen, TIME
• SERIAL KILLER SUSPECT SPEAKS: Clint van Zandt, fmr. FBI profiler and MSNBC analyst
• "AMERICAN IDOL" AUDITIONS BEGIN TODAY IN L.A.: Maria Milito, Q104.3

How interesting that Olby would bring on The Daily Kos himself to "analyze" a race in which he has been a fervent opponent to one of the candidates. Before doing so, Olby confirmed that Lieberman's website was indeed the victim of computer hackers, and had an uncomfortable chat with Chris Matthews. Then the Big Moment as Markos himself appeared to give his impartial opinion.

Markos, it will be recalled, is the blogger who had a unique reaction to the US veterans whose mutilated bodies were hung from a bridge in Fallujah. To quite Daily himself: "Screw 'em!" No "worst person" nomination for him; instead he's the guest of honor on Countdown. Kos immediately spun a theory of his own: Lieberman's website crashed because he's "incompetent" and it was routine "increased traffic" that did him in. This is blatant bushwa, since the denial of service attack began in the overnight hours when traffic is lightest.

Kos suggested online that the real truth is that Lieberman didn't pay his hosting bill--there was never any evidence for this theory, and it turned out that all bills had been paid. But of course Olby never asked Kos to explain this bizarre accusation, let alone his cavalier dismissal of murdered American veterans. Instead he posited hard-hitting, incisive queries, such as:

Probably the clearest message in that entire campaign has come from your political end of the web, that it's not OK for Democrats to rubber-stamp the President, especially when it comes to Iraq...

Through the entire interview, Keith Olbermann never once identified Kos as a supporter of, and campaigner for, Lieberman's opponent. (This is why it's The Hour of Spin.)

UPDATE: Markos writing on Daily Kos says "I'll be on Countdown with Keith Olbermann at the top of the hour (8 p.m. ET) tonight. I turned down a lot of media tonight, but Countdown is a great show."

Time to update The List (partisan politicos and strategists interviewed on Countdown, identified by party affiliation):

• May 22: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• May 30: Rep Barney Frank (D)
• June 9: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 15: Bob Schrum (D)
• June 16: Rep John Murtha (D)
• June 19: Al Gore (D)
• June 20: Sen Jack Reed (D)
• June 20: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• June 23: Al Gore (D)
• July 5: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 12: Barbara Boxer (D)
• July 13: Lawrence O'Donnell (D)
• July 26: Bill Richardson (D)
• August 8: Daily Kos (D)

After a tease for Cruise News and a break, the #4 story was about the pipeline breakdown in Alaska (regurgitated NBC report). Then oddball and a tease for American Idol doings. The #3 story was about a serial killer (more recycled video), with Clint van Zandt reacting. Hey, here's how we can beat Nancy Grace...more True Crime! Obviously the serious "news" on The Hour of Spin ended long before the half-hour break. Middle East war? Never heard of it, especially when there's Cruise News coming up (yes, there was another plug for same--in fact, two).

#2: Those conjoined twins again: easy to cover since it's more regurgitated video from NBC. Then the discredited sports guy brought us the latest on Michael Jackson and--yes! YES!--Cruise News! (More of his unfunny fake Suri Cruise video footage.) #1 was eight solid minutes all about American Idol. By this time it was hard to differentiate Countdown from E! Entertainment Television.

The "nonpartisan" worst person segment made George Allen (R) a runner-up. What was missing here was Olbermann's apology to John Gibson, whom KO smeared with a lie on top of a lie during Monday night's embarrassing display of egocentric conceit. The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann can slander his competitors, doctor his own quotes, and lie through his toupee at will. But don't hold your breath waiting for the MSM to call him on his despicable tactics.

As Keith Olbermann continues to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude in criticizing Mel Gibson's drunken, anti-semetic rant, the Anti-Defamation League has published an open letter to Keith Olbermann condemning him for his callous, pre-planned invocation of Adolph Hitler at the recent TCA conference in Pasadena, CA.

Citing "complaints from our constituents, including Holocaust survivors and their families", the ADL says KO's "repeated use of the Nazi salute" is "offensive and repugnant in any context" and called on Olbermann to "reconsider" his "use of the Nazi salute".

We believe that the use of gestures and imagery associated with the Nazis – even in jest – only serves to trivialize the Holocaust and denigrate the memory of the six million Jews and others who died as a result of Hitler's Final Solution.

This is my email to the ADL on July 23rd, 2006

===========================

Dear Sir or Madam,

I was wondering if you would care to comment on Keith Olbermann's behavior at the Television Critics Association event on Saturday?

Robert Cox
Editor
Olbermann Watch

Olbermann's Nazi Salute
http://www.olbermannwatch.com/archives/2006/07/olbermanns_nazi.html

As Islamo-Fascists fire rockets into Israel as part of their plan to wipe Israel off the face of the map, Keith Olbermann is thousands of miles away from the front lines entertaining his own band of shock troops - those psuedo-journalists who label themselves "TV Critics" - with a "hilarious" Nazi salute, hoping to equate the trouncing he is getting in the cable news ratings race with a genocide that saw the murder of 12 million people including more than 6 million Jews.

===========================

Always looking for a way to turn a story into a KO mention, Kristi Turnquist barely breaks a sweat in working Keith into her column on Mel Gibson.

I'm not proud of turning off NPR's coverage of the Middle East to watch MSNBC's "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" prattle on about a Hollywood big shot's public relations disaster. But for a few minutes, it was nice to pretend it was the most pressing issue of the day.

Olbermann was snarkily embarrassed about his own show's coverage of "our nation's continuing dependence on Mel Gibson developments." But in between the show's reports of the deaths of women and children in Lebanon, Israel and Iraq, I knew what Olbermann meant when he ruefully said: "Would that all the stories were about Mel Gibson."

Wow! That's deep

In our Monday night summary, we noted Keith Olbermann's blast at John Gibson's comments. Inside Cable News rightly noted that we should not have elippsed out the middle part, and we agreed and added that to our post. In doing so, ICN put us on the trail of what appears to be another instance of Keith Olbermann trying to lie his way out of a deep hole.

Gibson took issue with Olbermann's claim that he did "218 consecutive shows" and nobody accused him of being a liberal. Monday night, Olbermann snidely replied:

I didn't say I did "218 consecutive shows" as in 218 consecutive shows without a day off. I said WE DID 218 consecutive shows about Clinton/Lewinski. Of course I took days off - they're called days off!

First of all, John Gibson was not talking about "days off". In another segment of the radio program, he vividly described how MSNBC would send a big black car to Olbermann's residence to pick him up for the program. But Keith would refuse to leave his bathtub. Gibson would have to stay overtime and host Keith's show. These are not the standard "days off" that Olbermann painted them to be.

But more to the point is Olby's claim that he never said "I" did 218 shows, but rather that "we" did 218 shows, and therefore Gibby was misquoting him and "playing with facts". Well, KO cited 218 shows to show his alleged lack of personal bias. Shows hosted by Gibson would be irrelevant. So he clearly was at least trying to give the impression that he hosted 218 shows.

But what did he actually say? According to the transcript:

Keith Olbermann: "I've been accused of being a liberal."
Craig Ferguson: "Right."
Olbermann: "Which is interesting because the last time I was on doing the news in the late 90s, I did 218 consecutive shows about Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky."
Ferguson: "Right."
Olbermann: "And no one accused me of being a liberal then.

Oops. Did Keith Olbermann lie about what he said to Craig Ferguson? Maybe the transcript is wrong. Well, there's also the RealPlayer video and the mp3 audio.

John Gibson was absolutely, 100% correct. Keith Olbermann falsified his own words just to smear Gibson, and in doing so piled a new lie on top of an old one. And he's been caught again.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• WAR POLITICS; IRAQ CIVIL WAR?: Howard Fineman, Newsweek; Lt. Col. Rick Francona, U.S. Air Force (ret.)
• CELEBRITY ROUND-UP: Michael Musto, Village Voice

The operative spin word on tonight's Hour of Spin was "vacation". In just the opening spiel alone, Krazy Keith noted that Bush started his vacation (1) and twice said of the President: "He's on vacation." (2,3) Beginning the top story, Olby talked about Neville Chamberlain going on vacation (4). He tried to claim that because Chamberlain went on vacation (5), World War II started nine days later. He then mentioned that President Bush "started his vacation" (6) today. KO said of the UN resolution that the President was "making it clear that he isn't not actually involved" with some of the diplomatic legwork. (Let's see: he is not not involved...does that mean he is involved?) Since the Secretary of State is taking point on this, Olby said she is "picking up the pieces of the President's foreign policy".

The ever-accomodating Howard Fineman was there to serve as ideological silly putty. The first thing Keith asked was about the President's vacation (7). Howie said the White House claims this is a much shorter vacation (8) than prior getaways. He said Bush is often not at the top of his game when he's in Crawford, and KO asked if anybody there believed in history and why don't they realize that this shouldn't be "business as usual". This was another one of those Olby constructions about why this (or whatever the subject of the day happens to be) is a bad move for Bush. Howie said Bush's August Crawford vacation (9) is sacrosanct, and because he's stubborn nobody will tell him otherwise. The count: one "vacation" reference every 45 seconds. Not exactly subtle, but the essence of propaganda is repetition.

After some chit-chat about Joe Lieberman's tight Senate race, the subject turned to Iraq, with KO again rehashing the testimony from last week by the Generals. Lt Col Francona was asked about "mixed messages" and "discrepancies" and what constitutes a civil war. The reply was that it turned on the "breakdown of the standing Iraqi government". That wasn't good enough for Olby, who cited a UN report about deaths and homelessness and demanded to know:

If that doesn't define civil war, what, where are we in Iraq?

Franconi opined it was more like ethnic cleansing, and said that in an outbreak of actual civil war, virtually all US troops would be pulled back. After another tease for upcoming Cruise News came the first break. The discredited Keith Olbermann returned with the evening's Middle East news. "People continue to die", intoned Keith, as he introduced the usual pre-taped report from NBC. And yes, after this three minutes of coverage ended, Olby gave "much thanks" "great thanks" to the videotape machine.

This is traditionally where Countdown abandons major news, and today was no exception. After another scintillating edition of oddball (carefully crafted to appeal to the intelligence level of MSNBC viewers), KO delivered a brief update on Floyd Landis (recycled network video), and a longer piece on footage of OJ Simpson (more recycled network video). Then another break, and, naturally, a tease of upcoming Cruise News! Plus, in the middle of the break, he teased it again.

The #2 story was about surgery to separate conjoined twins (more regurgitated network reporting), then on to sneering about Katherine Harris, "Fox Cartoon News Channel", Gene Simmons, and Mel Gibson: Day XII. After still another tease for Cruise News, we finally got there with the #1 story. The creepy Michael Musto covered Cruise, Spears, and the like, and KO contributed phony, forced laughter (the only kind Musto ever engenders).

In the Media Matters Minute, it was a twofer for The Schmuck. First he ragged on John Gibson, claiming Gibby was "playing with facts" for questioning Olby's assertion that he did "218 consecutive shows" on the Lewinsky scandal and "nobody accused me of being a liberal". Krazy Keith's convoluted explanation:

I didn't say I did 218 consecutive shows as in 218 consecutive shows without a day off.... Of course I took days off. They're called "days off".

It all depends on what the meaning of "consecutive" is. Interestingly, KO did not challenge Gibson's report that Keith would refuse to get out of his bathtub, or that he is, and always has been, a liberal. The "worst" position was saved for you-know-who (here's a hint: it's attack #105). Bill's crime: citing the case of a recent rape/murder victim, he said that scantily-clad teenagers shouldn't be out drunk, walking the streets alone, at two in the morning. Sermonized Olby:

You sick, sorry excuse for a human being.

Preach on, Rev Olby. Drunken teenagers should be on the streets alone at 2:00 am. It's so much easier to find them that way, instead of having to find conquests in some hotel room with a cheap bottle of wine and a disposable tie.

Dogs that did not bark: the photoshopped fraudulent Reuters photos (of course). And we got a sterling example of the Olbermann Negative Follow-Up. This is where he hypes a story that fits OlbySpin (example: the Lodi terror trial that was "irretrievably lost"), then ignores it when it doesn't turn out that way he wanted (example: the guilty verdict in said trial).

Tonight's Negative Follow-Up: we all remember the brouhaha Krazy Keith made about a newspaper that was asking its readers to vote on whether to keep Ann Coulter's column or not. He devoted an entire segment to Annie's column, this reader survey, and how she was losing newspapers (well, one anyhow). The newspaper's readership, it turns out, voted to retain Coulter's column. Not one word about that from the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann.

UPDATE: Inside Cable News has noted our write-up and comments that our quote of Keith on Gibson has some "interesting parsing". They give the quote without ellipses, and we will too:

I didn't say I did "218 consecutive shows" as in 218 consecutive shows without a day off. I said WE DID 218 consecutive shows about Clinton/Lewinski. Of course I took days off - they're called days off!

They have a point in that Keith's "out" ("I didn't say 'I', I said 'we'") should have been included. But is that what he said? We have a separate post that answers this question.

Ed Bark of The Dallas Morning News does a "balanced" version of a KO puff piece where a TV Critic actually mentions Keith's puny ratings and references his pattern of instability.

Today in Dallas, Olbermann is the righteous Howard "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" Beale without the "clinical depression, delusions, hallucinations". Keith has "demonstrated bridge-burning Beale zeal", "found his niche", "professes himself content", "having a grand time", "twitting conservatives", "brandishes a cardboard O'Reilly mask". Countdown is getting beat by O'Reilly but..."the margin between the "Factor" and "Countdown" narrows significantly with the principal news target audience of 25-to-54-year-olds.

The O'Reilly mask stunt is mentioned but (surprise!) there's no mention of the Olbermann Nazi Salute.

Once again the dog not barking is how, once again, with a limited amount of column space with which cover the three week long TCA conference - an event at which hundreds of shows were promoted and thousands of interviews given - that yet another TV Critic has found the time and space to devote a lengthy piece to the host of one of the lowest rated "primetime" shows in all of television.

Of course not all TV critics are spending their time writing an homage to Keith. Some are too busy attacking Glenn Garvin of The Miami Herald for outing them on their "walkout" on Fox News chief Roger Ailes.

Hmmm. Let's see if we detect a pattern here. The TV critics all laugh when Keith puts on a Bill O'Reilly mask and gives the infamous Olbermannn Nazi Salute. They walk out on Roger Ailes. And write near daily love notes to Keith while playing up the supposed "feud" with O'Reilly.

Do you think we might someday see a TV Critic or any journalist at a major paper write a piece that questions or challenges Olbermann's behavior or his apparent aim of building an audience by becoming the Don Rickles of cable news? Whether they ever examine the many preposterous claims put forth by Olbermann and the MSNBC PR department about this supposed "ratings growth" and "success". Will the day ever come when we see a column exploring the knowingly false and malicious claims made by Olbermann. Do you think we might ever see a story that reports what many folks in the business know about Keith's history of mental instability? Will a reporter every do the math on Keith's claim to have down 218 consecutive shows on Clinton-Lewinsky when, according to John Gibson, he was repeatedly AWOL from the show, hiding under his desk or at home hiding in his bathtub? Will they then ask how this behavior somehow demonstrates that he is not a liberal? Might the day ever come when someone questions the wisdom of allowing Keith to play the clown and what the impact of that might be on the "trust relationship" between NBC News and their viewers over the long-term? Is it possible that just ONE TV critic could write a piece on the Olbermann - O'Reilly "feud" that presents the "feud" from O'Reilly's point of view?

In other words, do you think we will ever see a story on Olbermann in a major American newspaper that comes at the subject from anything other than a "wink wink nod nod" perspective?

When you really understand just how the TV Critics Association and its members (most not all) inject their cultural and political ideology of cynicism into their flacking reporting you start to see why shows and networks with a liberal political and cultural agenda are constantly boosted in their columns while those on the other side of the political fence are constantly derided.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• THE IRAQ WAR: E.J. Dionne, Washington Post
• THE NEOCON PROBLEM: James Bamford
• THE NIGHT LISTENER: Author Armistead Maupin

This was a day when Keith Olbermann was caught in more lies, and used grotesquely selective quotes to smear a respected columnist. But first: bad news from Iraq again the lead story on The Hour of Spin. First Olby regurgitated the Hillary/Rumsfeld confrontation (literally yesterday's news), then obediently took a press release from the Clinton Senate office to highlight a selected handful of Rummy quotes (proving "how out of touch" he is). Dionne, the first in the Parade of Leftists, said "the policy is falling apart...it just doesn't work any more". Here's a riddle: why would he approvingly cite Bill Kristol? Not much of a riddle, really: he has called for Rummy's resignation. But don't expect to hear Kristol komments that might kontradict Krazy Keith on the Countdown set.

Then KO was off to charge that the "neocons" are trying to undermine Rice and prolong the Middle East war. Supposedly the NSA is giving Israel intelligence about whether Hezbollah is being reupplied by Syria or Iran. And sharing intelligence with Israel would be bad because? Don't bother to make sense of it. It's OlbyLogic. By the way, KO's source for this scoop? Ultra-lib Sidney Blumenthal at the discredited Salon.com. The extremist cavalcade continued with Bamford, and note how Olby took Blumenthal's uncorroborated speculation and transformed it into proven fact:

Is the passing of secret intelligence to Israel with the approval of the President a, a clear sign that the administration might be looking to widen the conflict in the Middle East instead of trying to contain it now?

Of course, Bamford knows no more about this than Olby, but that didn't stop him from echoing OlbySpin. Bamford dutifully cited several Jewish policy advisors to buttress Herr Olbermann's scare tactics about the "neocons", Keith referenced a favorite blue blog phrase ("faith based facts"), and a good time was had by all.

The Middle East took up slot #4; a pre-taped report from Richard Engel focused on deaths from Israeli bombs, Keith gave "great thanks" to the unspooling tape, and...well, that was the Middle East coverage. Under three minutes. The second commercial break came less than 20 minutes into the program.

After "oddball", Keith Olbermann turned to his favorite subject (after evil Jewish neocons and that bastard O'Reilly): Keith Olbermann. A new movie tells the tale of a charlatan who impersonated a terminally ill child and fooled a lot of people, including Keith. KO regaled the viewers with the story of how convincing this person (who only spoke to him on the phone) was, but Sherlock Olbermann was too clever. He spotted the fact that voices didn't overlap, he hired a private eye, he figured it all out. This segment was Olbermann onanism, peppered with one self-referential phrase after another:

I read the book...I was Tony's phone pal...I noticed one day...I heard laughter...I hired the private detective...I mentioned how it came to me...and me too...I remember calling...I actually hired a private detective...The story I heard...My thought was...I volunteered to pay the cost...I've always been reluctant to talk about this...I finally decided...

The hard news of the day continued with a story about cell phones and germs (recycled NBC video), then The Schmuck dishonestly charged Fox News with "defending" Mel Gibson:

The latest today from the ongoing, odd Gibsonian defense by Fox News Channel...the fiction and cartoon news channel is reporting that Gibson has both an Israeli bodyguard and a Jewish publicist.

Is this another Olbermann lie? Is the entire corporate "Fox News Channel" making a "defense" of Gibson because an online columnist (Roger Friedman, undoubtedly another anti-Semite in Olby's eyes) wrote this? Why didn't Keith cite Mr Friedman's other writings, like this, or this? Roger Friedman is engaged in a defense of Mel Gibson? How repellent, how disgraceful can Olby's compulsive character assassination get? Keith Olbermann, have you no shame? Remember that yesterday Krazy Keith fabricated a tale that Bill O'Reilly was defending Gibson when he wasn't. The conclusion is inescapable: this latest slander smears Roger Friedman along with FNC, and is another Olbermann lie.

Cruise News and a festival of July oddball highlights rounded out the "news" hour. In the nonpartisan Media Matters Minute, conservative Neil Boortz was a runner-up, and conservative Ann Coulter was "worst". It was more hypocritical sermonizing against Annie for making a joke about Hillary Clinton's sexual preference. When will Ann learn? It's OK for KO to talk about Matt Drudge's sexual preference, or even Tom Cruise's. But don't you dare try this at home. And while others are deemed worst person nominees for personal attacks, again the rules don't apply to King Olbermann, who reproached Coulter thusly:

...slightly lower then than the odds that you've never seen another adult naked, and you're a 45-year virgin with an Adam's Apple?

Well, the odds are pretty good that Ms Coulter has never solicited people using corporate email for a chance to see them naked (just for starters), and then told them to get lost. And all they got for it was a lousy tie.

David Hinckley of the New York Daily News serves up another helping of the KO "feud" with a whole piece on the current state of media feuds:

it's not that no media folks are trying. MSNBC's Keith Olbermann tosses rubber chickens nightly at Fox News' Bill O'Reilly.

Christopher Kelly of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram takes a more restrained approach but still manages to work in a little KO puffery:

Taken me a while to find time to get to writing about Monday's Fox News session, but I'm not gonna ignore it, especially after attending the Keith Olbermann session, not to mention the Katie Couric, Charles Gibson and Brian Williams. To ignore it would be unfair and imbalanced.

J$ has the video of O'Reilly's "subtle" shot at Olbermann. He goes on to make my point:

O'REILLY: Hold it. But it goes further than that. They mean nothing. They're smear merchants, and they always get theirs. But there's a powerful corporation behind them. And it's a corporation that allows its airways, paid for by all of us, to be abused.

The Olbershphere weighs in on BOR and KO's reax:

Media Matters - BOR Attacks KO
Relevant Torture - Bill-O and Geraldo Rivera's Moustache digress in their discussion of Mel Gibson so Bill can get a few things off his mind
ICN - “If mentioning Olbermann by name gives him more publicity then doesn’t talking about not mentioning him by name do the same thing?�
TVN - Olbermann reacts to O'Reilly
Newshounds - Olbermann fires back
Crooks and Liars - has the KO video.

Ed. note: Olbermann Watch strikes again - KO used the line "like shooting fish in a barrel" parroting a line used on Olbermann Watch just a few days ago. Keeping reading us Keith!

On the radio today, John Gibson talked about Joe Scarborough's latest stunt, but he also discussed our favorite Krazy Kommentator. Does he really hide under his desk, or somewhere else? How "nonpartisan" is he? Gibby tells all, and catches our hero in another lie or two. Listen.

The Olbersphere weighs in...

The Cable Game - Gibson: "There were plenty of days when they couldn't get him out of the bathtub and I had to do his show"
ICN - Gibson goes after MSNBC.

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• THE IRAQ WAR: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek
• 9/11 TAPES: Gerald Posner
• MEL GIBSON: Harvey Levin, tmz.com

Bad news from Iraq is always welcome at The Hour of Spin, so the lead story tonight wasn't Mel Gibson (though that was certainly teased in the opening spiel) but rather the war. Excerpts from today's testimony were shown: questions by Hillary Clinton (D), Carl Levin (D), but no (R)s. The Wolffe Man said it's all a "pivotal moment", and the administration is "running out of excuses". He said Clinton's adversarial approach reflects changing political tides, and mention was made of how Tom DeLay could "make a political comeback". Nonpartisan Olbermann's reaction: "Good grief!"

The topic shifted to the Middle East, courtesy of a pre-taped report from Martin Fletcher. Coverage on this amounted to under three minutes, complete with KO again giving "great thanks" to the machine that played the prerecorded report.

After a second tease for Attack #104, we got a "global warming" expose: an internet video critical of Al Gore was actually assembled by someone "linked" to the oil industry. Scandal! Outrage! What, do these people think they have free speech or something? A regurgitated NBC report recycled what "most scientists" say, and buttressed that frame by not using clips from any of those "other scientists".

After teasers for Elvis Presley's teddy bear and (you guessed it) Mel Gibson, "oddball" presented the usual flotsam and jetsam (a mad dog, grainy security video), followed by another #104 teaser. The #3 segment had actual news: recently released NORAD tapes from 9/11. KO said they show "chaos" in the response of the military and maybe even (drumroll!) a "coverup"! Posner said the NORAD reactions were examples of "keystone kops" ineptitude, and that the Pentagon tried to spin to make NORAD look better.

That cursed war interrupted with "breaking news" of Beirut bombings (reported by Fox several minutes earlier), but it did add another 1.5 minutes to Countdown's coverage of the Middle East (all of four minutes--five with a last minute update at the end of the hour). Then more teases for #104 and for (surprise!) Mel Gibson. Followed by yet another tease for the latest O'Reilly attack. (Class, that makes how many? If you guessed five, you win the Olbsession Award.)

The #2 story was another example of "Factor Fiction" where the "lies" of Bill O'Reilly would be exposed. KO opened with Krazy Keith stretching the truth about Bill O'Reilly:

He's attacked me and this network again...

Actually, he never mentioned Olbermann or MSNBC.

...without provocation...

Gee, if all he needed was "provocation", he'd have attacked you about 103 times by now. Of course the "provocation" bit was a "joke" (you can tell, because The Laughing Stagehand was cackling again), and Olby went on to talk about this interview:

Bill-O went off again, somehow meandering from a defense of Mel Gibson...

Olbermann lie: O'Reilly did not defend Mel Gibson.

The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann launched into another of his famous "dramatic readings" of the transcript, interspersing snarky, too-hip-for-my-shirt asides that had The Laughing Stagehand in convulsions. Then all of a sudden, it was over. It just stopped. Color us disappointed. Where was the "fiction" Olby promised to expose? What were the "lies" that Mr Bill spoke? Um, well, you see, there weren't any. Those two promises from The Schmuck were--all together now--more Olbermann lies.

The rest of Countdown was Madonna, Brittney Spears, Kevin Federline, and Mel Gibson: Day VIII.

In the "nonpartisan" Media Matters Minute, a Republican Congressman was a runner-up, and "comedian Rush Limbaugh" was "worst". Video of Olby's Rush Attack will appear on the Soros site within the next 24 hours or Keith will sulk under his desk.

Just 24 hours after Jackie Mason described people who take pleasure in tearing down more successful competitors as "schmucks", the term turns up again--as a description of someone at MSNBC.

Buffalo News TV Critic Alan Pergament was one of the those yukking it up over the Olbermann Nazi Salute:

And now let's move on to some of the best and worst moments of the recently concluded Television Critics Association press tour...

Best Gag: Keith Olbermann of MSNBC's "Countdown" arrived with a photographic cutout of his whipping boy, Fox's Bill O'Reilly, and superimposed it on his face.

NOTE: meanwhile the Kansas City Star, Media Research Center, Variety and the Orlando Sentinel have all weighed in on the Ailes "walkout" at the TCA. Dog not barking - if it's no big deal why do so many TV critics feel the need to devote column space denying they dissed Roger Ailes?

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• THE IRAQ WAR: Thomas Ricks, author of "Fiasco"
• MEL GIBSON'S DUI ARREST: Susan Filan, Michael Musto

Now this is the Krazy Keith we know and love. Kick off the opening spiel with a classic Olbyism:

24 Iraqi citizens, including unarmed women and children, shot deliberately by US Marines.

That's our Keith. None of those silly legalities like "alleged" or "accused". Just declare guilt and prepare to pass sentence. KO later slips in that it's a "preliminary conclusion", which legally doesn't even rise to the level of an indictment, but such fine points don't carry much weight on The Hour of Spin. This was the lead in to an interview with the author of a "remarkable new book" that is a "devastating critique" of--guess who?--George Bush! Krazy Keith read generously from the "extraordinary" book before introducing Ricks. And if you think we overstated KO's eagerness to declare Haditha guilt before a court is even convened, consider his first question to Ricks:

The unnamed Pentagon official's revelation of the Naval Criminal Investigation findings, does it not transform Haditha from an, an awful allegation to a, a virtually confirmed war atrocity?

Of course it does! An anonymous leak of a preliminary finding clearly means that it's a proven war crime. No need to even hold a trial. Get the ropes and let's have ourselves a hanging! (Why does Keith Olbermann hate our troops? Why does Keith Olbermann hate the US Constitution?) Ricks moved quickly to place the blame on leadership and the training, and opined that incidents such as this were not isolated. KO and Ricks wrapped the interview with some Rummy bashing and the author's claim that he hasn't received a single critical email from anyone in the military.

The chat wasn't that long, so Olby could squeeze in Middle East developments before the first commercial break. No reports, not even pre-taped, in KO's two minutes of war coverage, and at just 13 minutes into the hour, the first block ended with more teasing of the Mel Gibson story.

In the #4 segment, Olby had his own, bizarre spin on the charges filed against Mel, that they only filed "minor counts" against him. Clearly the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is as ignorant of charging practices in Los Angeles as he is of voting patterns in Florida. Susan Filan tried to explain to Olby that charges like "disorderly conduct" are mere infractions that wouldn't affect the end result. Amazingly, the Gibson story was Too Big For Just One Segment, and KO teased Even More Mel as he went to a break.

Following Oddball, the #3 story was headlined "D.C. Follies", a handful of fluffy items about who rides in Senatorial elevators, "freedom fries", and the renovation of the briefing room. Dana Milbank, shorn of wacky wear, made lame jokes, and Olby served up phony, forced laughter. For some reason, the Bush at a locked door photo made another appearance. This segment ran barely seven minutes, and concluded with more teasers for Mel Gibson.

In the #2 slot, Monica Novotny presented a collection of video clips from Japanese game shows, followed by Michael Jackson, Angelina Jolie, and another teaser for More Mel. The disturbing Michael Musto resurfaced again in the #1 slot to extend even further Countdown's latest tabloid obsession. The Creepy One told The Schmuck that Gibson's worst nightmare is "a gay Jew with a lot of hair".

So the continued tabloidization of Countdown tonight brought us two (count 'em, two!) complete program blocks dedicated to Mel Gibson. Another block served up game shows and celebrities. Serious coverage (Haditha, the Middle East) got 12 minutes; if the ephemera with Milbank is counted as "serious" that makes a total 19 minutes of substance on the latest Hour of Spin. Dan Abrams rubs his hands in glee as A-Mess-NBC continues its voyage to the bottom of the barrel.

On Tuesday's Hour of Spin, Keith Olbermann only devoted three minutes to covering the Middle East war. But he made time to bash Bill O'Reilly's new book. KO hasn't read it, but he did quote from a critical review by an anonymous writer. The results of Olby's campaign:

Amazon.com sales rankings:

Yesterday:
Keith's new book: #251,586
O'Reilly's new book: #29,183

Today:
Keith's new book: #381,894
O'Reilly's new book: #11,274

[Thanks, Chris G!]

Forget about Bill O'Reilly, Keith Olbermann had better start worrying about CNBC's Donny Deutsch who has moved to within striking distance of the fading KO.

After weeks of PR hype, mountains of glowing media coverage, two appearances on the late night talk shows and a dramatic increase in news viewership in the midst of the Israel-Hezbollah conflict, Keith Olbermann finds himself LOSING ground in the cable news ratings race. The downturn that began in the weeks after the Winter Olympics were broadcast on MSNBC have turned into a rout with Olbermann dropping into fourth place - that's fourth in total AND the "coveted" demo.

After weeks of exaggerated claims about his "ratings growth" and a disgraceful PR stunt, Olbermann finds himself right back where he was before his pals in the liberal media took up his cause and began slathering him with affection.

Even TVN has finally got around to taking note of Keith Olbermann's post-Winter Olympics decline - after much badgering from OlbyWatch's own Johnny Dollar; initially that Countdown was getting comfy in 3rd Place and today that Paula Zahn was firmly back in the number two spot.

ICN make a similar observation shortly after noting the total dominance of Fox News.

If Spud and Brian are really interested in a cable news horse race they might want to focus their attention on the bottom rung of the cable news standings where Keith Olbermann and Nancy Grace are locked in duel for 4th place - total and demo - and 5th place is now a very real possibility for one of them.

Arguably one of the worst shows ever put on a cable news channel (and after McEnroe, that's saying something), Donny Deutsch's The Big Idea is now closing in on the fading Olbermann. Last night, Deutsch scored a .3 (a typical KO number) with a .1 in the demo. Here's a big idea for Keith, imagine a world where you might actually get beat by Donny Deutsch. Ouch!

"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)

Host: Keith Olbermann

Topics/Guests:

• MEL GIBSON'S DUI AND APOLOGY TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY: Harvey Levin, managing editor of TMZ.com; Jackie Mason, comedian

Keith Olbermann certainly has his priorities straight. Mel Gibson was the lead story on The Hour of Spin. As Countdown went to air at 8:00 pm, Israeli troops were reportedly engaged in a virulent firefight at a Bekaa Valley hospital. The war in the Middle East took a huge turn this evening, but Olby had bigger fish to fry: Mel Gibson.

Bear in mind that Krazy Keith has a dog in this fight. He's already declared that Mel's kareer is kaput, and so we can expect Countdown to mirror that spin. The first Olby interview was with "top newsmaker" Harvey Levin of the celebrity gossip page tmz.com. Next came Jackie Mason. Bear in mind that even though Mason was on during the first program block, he had already been promoed twice by KO, who insisted that:

He does not think any of this is funny.

Herr Olbermann was clearly playing up what was going to be righteous outrage from Mason, playing right into Olby's frame from Monday: "Mel's career is over". So what did Jackie have to say?

I think it's a big hullabaloo about nothing. The man was drunk. You never hold people responsible for every word they say when they're drunk. People when they're drunk start cursing their mother, their brother, they want to say I want to make love to my sister.... Whatever his subconscious, deep in his head, came out when he's drunk, I don't take that seriously.

Jackie quickly took over the segment, going after celebrities like Russell Crowe, and heaping praise on Pat Boone. Olby managed to squeeze in a question while Jackie was taking a breath:

Give me your reaction to this idea that, that, that, uh, Mel Gibson would be, would be speaking at the Yom Kippur services in a synagogue in, in Hollywood, and that the Anti Defamation League has already said it accepts the apology, does it end here, is there, what, is there more...?

Jackie Mason's classic reply is one that probably went completely over Olby's toupeed head, but as you read his words think about the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann and his olbsession with a certain cable news competitor:

People love to see a big star suffer. When you become too successful it brings out all the jealousy, and all the envy and the bitterness... and as soon as they do something wrong they love to jump on it--it becomes a beehive of activity. People become like maniacs. It becomes a whole tribal fascination to see if they could bury him for nothing. Because all of a sudden you're superior; all of a sudden he's the victim. All of a sudden you feel like you're the star. You could bury a star, that makes you a sensation. People love the feeling. It's a power trip for every schmuck in the world.

These words were spoken shortly after Keith (aka The Schmuck) read his first promo for O'Reilly Attack #103, scheduled for later in the "news" hour.

World news got bumped back to the #4 slot, and at that via a taped report courtesy of the NBC mothership. The war in the Middle East was covered for all of three minutes. Oddball followed, and in the #3 segment KO found time for a little more hard news: Castro and Cuba, the Iran crisis, and Iraq ("the bottomless pit"). Shapeshifter pundit Howard Fineman was there to serve as Olby's Echo. KO pulled out an old Bush campaign statement that just happens to be circulating onthe blue blogs (he should at least try not to be so obvious) and tried to make it into a contradiction. Total time for this segment: 8 minutes.

In the #2 segment, more breaking news: 25 years of MTV (recycled NBC video). That's really going to steal those smart, educated people away from Fox, ain't it Dan? This was followed by the O'Reilly attack (where Olby bashed Bill's book, which he hasn't read yet, by selectively quoting from someone else's review), Madonna, Peter Gammons, and Mel Gibson Puppet Theater. In the "nonpartisan" Media Matters Minute, "comedian Rush Limbaugh" was "worst" for no good reason (It was something about how civilian deaths are necessary to stop terror. If the "rule" is that there can never be civilian deaths, then it is impossible to defeat terrorists. Like we said: no good reason.)

We are beginning to see changes in The Hour of Spin. On Monday's edition, hard news represented less than half of the program; the rest was devoted to Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Katie Couric, and Michael Musto. Tonight, serious news didn't even make the "front page" of the broadcast. There was 11 minutes of substance, and the rest of the hour consisted of celebrities, pop culture, and tabloidism.

This is not unique to Countdown. Joe Scarborough's program, originally similar in content to The O'Reilly Factor, has of late turned heavily to tabloid fare. And the ratings for those segments have perked up a bit, despite forcing a bright guy like Joe to talk about noxious trivia. Has Dan Abrams, in an effort to stop the downward spiral of Countdown ratings, decided to "spice up" the content with an overdose of celebrities, tabloid stories, and pop culture news? Have we just identified Abrams's Master Plan to save A-Mess-NBC from its voyage to the bottom of the ratings barrel?

Not that we're complaining, mind you. The less time Herr Olbermann spends on substance, the less damage he, as America's most dangerous demagogue, can inflict. It will be fun to see how The Future of Television, the reincarnation of Edward R Murrow himself, deals with this in the days ahead.