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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's hard to believe that Krazy Keith would run yet again, in his opening spiel, the George Allen "macaca" clip. But there it was, flogged once more by the discredited sports guy whose outrage is exclusively on one side of the political fence. He kicked off The Hour of Spin by telling us:
This is Tuesday, August 23rd
Olby continued by referencing administration efforts to "confuse" people, and mentioning the "purported" London bomb plot. Then, since John McCain said something negative about the President, he got a clip too. On the other hand, James Inhofe said something positive about the Iraq War, so KO likened his view to something out of "an Andy Hardy movie". (There's a reference that probably went right over the heads of Olbermann's beloved "key demo".) Leftist Alter regurgitated OlbySpin, the traditional role of the Countdown interviewee.
Back to the "purported" London bomb plot, with KO highlighting the fact that one person was released. Then a fleeting reference to The Great Leak Case: a tidbit from AP that everybody else reported yesterday. Hey, maybe Keith really did think today is Tuesday. Teasers at the break included--you guessed it--"macaca".
The #4 story was another piece about YouTube videos, introduced with embarrassing clips of Conrad Burns (R). The report itself, another of the endless stream of recycled videos from NBC, was old news to anyone who watched any television news other than The Hour of Spin.
Then came the #3 story, a sad case of Keithus Interruptus. He was all set to devote the entire segment to Cruise News, but something of far greater seriousness was taking place: a press conference about JonBenet! Oh, the anticipation, the excitement, the thrill of more Tom Cruise coverage, suddenly dashed into hopelessness by breaking news of obviously greater import.
Then matters got worse. KO had to interview an NBC reporter on the JonBenet beat, and we all know how expert Keith is at breaking news:
...in Boulder Colorado, where the media and, uh, and, I guess, the state are awaiting the eventually arrival of John Mark Karr. Michelle, did that news conference, uh, uh, give you any additional into--, insight into, uh, what we might expect next in this bizarre case?
After this one-sentence debriefing of the unfortunate NBC reporter, Olby went on to repeat almost everything that had just been shown on air, relying on his own pet phrase ("curiouser and curiouser") twice. Who says Olbermann can't think on his feet? Happily for Keith, this was all a case of ecstacy delayed, not denied, as Cruise News was relocated to the #2 slot. A recycled NBC report and an exciting Cruise News interview made this another Great Moment in Olbermann Journalism.
The parade of substantial, momentous news reporting reached its zenith in the #1 story: Mo Rocca with a penetrating analysis of Presidential fart jokes. KO displayed "photos of Mister Bush", while Mo made hilarious references: "Reckless frat boy...floating air biscuits...booty burp...the poo-poo platter". Attention Emmy committee: make sure you review this tape.
Meanwhile, Olby is not saying much about how well he's doing in his beloved "key demo" (25-54). The good news is that he's finally out of fourth place. The bad news? He's slipped to fifth, limping behind perennial also-ran CNBC that was showing (for something like the 89th time) a canned documentary about eBay.
KO has so had it with that damned demo anyhow. He doesn't even date in the key demo--they're way too old for the 47-year-old "news anchor". Perhaps after he left the L.A. studios tonight to help his latest inamorata with her homework, she could let him know about the kidnapped journalists he has studiously avoided reporting for nine days. Maybe she can even convince him it might be more newsworthy than lead balloons from Mo Rocca.