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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
In his opening spiel, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann, looking as grumpy (and orange) as ever, used his favorite adjective once again:
The purported London terror plot: it continues to deflate.
What was he talking about? A suspect was released. Wait, didn't he report that yesterday? He's not using yesterday's news to inject day-old spin into his opening spiel, is he? Nah, that would hardly be the award-winning journalism that Keith loves to remind people he practices.
But first on the spin parade, from the palatial Los Angeles MSNBC studios, was "Mister" Bush's Iraq rhetoric. It's more pessimistic, which led Olby to return not to yesterday's news, or even the day before yesterday's news. No, it was back to the Presidential conference of Monday! We thought the time difference between New York and LA was four hours, not four days. After some political notes about John McCain and Hillary, it was time to chat with Harwood, with a typical Olby-style leading question about how the Republicans are screwing something up:
In terms of strategy, have they just reached the last ditch?
KO went on to reference "so-called achievements" in Iraq (what, they aren't "purported" achievements?), while Harwood talked about the administration being "completely out of touch with reality". A recycled NBC report from the impartial David Gregory covered remembrances of 9/11 and Katrina.
Then it was back to the "purported plot", which wasn't anything like "how it was initially sold" to the public, according to terrorism expert Keith Olbermann. This was KO's lead-in to the story of Tayib Rauf, an arrestee who was released yesterday. Keith noted that "only 12" have been charged. This was a slick way to avoid specifically reporting that another person was charged today (it had been 11). After all, KO couldn't possibly admit to any progress in the investigation; has he ever reported the bomb kits and suicide videos that were found?
Going into the break at just 13 minutes into the hour, Krazy Keith returned with a feature on the planet (or not) Pluto. A recycled NBC report handled the details, followed by teasers for such exclusive scoops as JonBenet and tonight's edition of Cruise News. After oddball (including a tasteful "erection" joke) and more teasers, KO started cluck-clucking about a program that hasn't even aired yet (the upcoming Survivor: Cook Islands). But that was just an excuse to divert the rest of the segment to another installment of Cruise News! Specifically, the split from Viacom. Hold on, didn't he cover this yesterday too? Hey, it beats working. And then a teaser for #107:
What happens when an officer of the law comes face to face with a law-breaking Bill O'Reilly radio listener?
Klassic Keith. The terror plot, where a dozen people have been charged and mountains of evidence seized, is "alleged" and "purported". But this poor schlub gets a ticket and Judge Olbermann flat-out declares him guilty! Who says KO doesn't have his priorities straight?
Another teaser for the Big Bill O'Reilly Story followed, with Keith promising "that's next". Only it wasn't. The nightly JonBenet segment was next. Why would KO say something is "next" when it knows full well it's not next? To keep his core audience of gullible simpletons tuned in for as long as possible? After the JonBenet update (a supposed-to-be funny montage of hyperbolic MSNBC breaking news), we got Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and self-promotion for a KO voice-over on "Family Guy".
In the Media Matters Minute, KO managed to fill two of his pre-determined slots, the Fox News slot (O'Reilly, so that makes this #107), and a conservative/Republican (Rush Limbaugh). He even worked in an insult to Ann Coulter.
Finally the discredited sports guy got around to his Big O'Reilly News--another days-old story flogged to within an inch of its life. But good enough to be attack #108. One cannot overstate the painful desperation of the smarmy Olbermann engaged in a futile attempt to steal some of the success and viewership of his nemesis. Crusading journalist Krazy Keith got to the bottom of this developing story:
Do they often, do, do the people who complain about the tickets often mention Bill O'Reilly or anybody in particular, or is that novel?
Did you, did you have to keep, uh, uh, struggle, to keep, uh, a straight face during that, uh, or, or are you used to the bizarre, if not that particular kind of bizarre?
Wh, when, when you asked him that, that was, that one moment where, where it got out, where you said Bill O'Reilly doesn't fall under that statute, have you ever encountered anybody who thought what they were listening to, no matter what it was, made any difference in a, in a noise complaint situation?
Eh, was it, was it playing still on the, on the car stereo when you first approached the, the car?
Do you know, we, we, we had been told he had a month to request a, uh, a, a formal request for a trial, do you know how that turned out with, uh, both the speeding citation and the, uh, the loud radio citation?
This went on and on and on: pointlessly empty questions and respectful, brief replies from the officer. This is what Olby and Abrams thought was worth day-long promotion and hype? It's another tape that must be sent to the Emmy committee.
For the tenth day, Olbermann couldn't find even 30 seconds to report on the kidnapped Fox journalists. He was on the Jill Carroll story for day after day, but when IslamoNazis abduct reporters from the hated Fox channel, Keith can't be bothered. It's more important to belabor the tabloid stories of yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. We have a suggestion for Krazy Keith: when you leave the studios tonight and stop off to purchase a trinket for your current squeeze, pick up a paper and read about the plight of the journalists being held hostage. Oh wait, that won't work. They don't have newsstands at Toys 'R' Us.