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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
What does it take for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann to interrupt his vacation? If you think the answer is Donald Rumsfeld, think again. Countdown did their "analysis" of his speech with E.J. Dionne on Tuesday. So why did Krazy Keith show up tonight to attack Rummy over yesterday's news?
Perhaps numbers tell the story. After bragging about how he is in second place in the "key demo", the August numbers show the trend that began months ago still continues. Olby is a poor, distant third (far behind his nemesis Mr Bill, and Paula Zahn for crying out loud) with viewers 25-54. And you don't want to mention total audience to Krazy Keith, where his dismal showing finds him in fourth place, with even the hyperbolic Nancy Grace attracting more viewers. What's a discredited sports guy to do?
That's where the second element enters the mix. The blue blogs have gone ballistic over Rummy's comments to the American Legion, and KO, if nothing else, is a consummate opportunist. What better way to inch his way back into Nielsen relevance than a high-profile, uber-hyped Rumsfeld blitz, expressly fashioned for the thousands (well, hundreds maybe) of Kossacks and Huffers? They'll reward him with free publicity, and that will reinvigorate his core audience. Maybe even MoveOn.org will do another viewership drive to save his scalp.
And the timing is ideal. Bill O'Reilly is off this week. This will be KO's big break! So it was that emails went out to the bluest bloggers, Olby promoted the assault on his low-rated radio program, and even got one of his hapless interns to stick something in his all-but-abandoned "blog". Olbermann's back, in style!
The opening spiel featured, of course, Rumsfeld, but also made note of Brian Williams's interview with "Mister" Bush  (code phrasing for the Black Box buffoons). It didn't take long for Herr Olbermann to falsify what Rumsfeld said, hyping that he would be offering:
A special comment on his attack on your right to disagree.
Don't waste your time looking through Rummy's speech for where he said there should be no right to disagree. It ain't there. Olby made it a twofer, introducing a clip with this:
Secretary Rumsfeld compared critics of the current war in Iraq to those who tried to appease Adolf Hitler and the Nazis before World War II.
The clip of Rummy began thusly:
once again we face similar challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism.... But some seem not to have learned history's lessons.
Ah, the magic of editing. Krazy Keith wants his credulous cretins to take Rumsfeld's comments as relating to "critics of the current war in Iraq". But note those ellipses. What did Olby snip out of the clip?
Today -- another enemy, a different kind of enemy -- has made clear its intentions with attacks in places like New York and Washington, D.C., Bali, London, Madrid, Moscow and so many other places.
Remember, Olby has been whining for months about how Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror. So when Rummy says something about the war on terror, mentioning a number of battlefronts but not Iraq, KO doctors the quote and claims it was all about Iraq. The Hour of Spin, indeed.
Olby went on to reference "Mister" Bush  twice  in one sentence, talked about bombings in Iraq, then brought on his guest of honor, Dr Howard Dean. KO asked if it's possible to have Rumsfeld impeached, while Dizzy Dean spewed Kossian talking points. Another Keith reference to "Mister" Bush  led Dean into talking about the "war on the middle class", as Herr Olbermann permitted his guest to give a campaign commercial for the DNC. Keith then suggested that Democrats are too "tentative" in their opposition to the evil Bush administration--another bit of penetrating analysis from the "nonpartisan" Countdown "anchorman".
Next Keith brought on the chairman of the RNC to give the opposing point of view. Hahahahahaaaaa! ROFL! Keith present two points of view? Not on OlbyPlanet. Our latest update of The List (partisan politicos and strategists interviewed on Countdown, identified by party):
Fair and balanced KO then swerved into the "purported" terror plot in the UK. He noted that "15 have been charged": more artful OlbySpin, since three more were charged today. But rather than report that, he just tosses off the total number, hoping that no one will notice that more and more charges are filed as the investigation continues. Again he says the "alleged" plotters were not prepared to strike at the time of their arrest. Even here, Olby doesn't tell the whole truth. The key element in the timing of the arrest was the intercepted message from Pakistan: "Do your attacks now". For all his tin-foiling about why the arrests were made when they were, has Keith Olbermann ever once reported this salient fact? He sure didn't mention it tonight.
After two teases for his "special comment" on Rumsfeld and Brian Williams with "Mister" Bush [6,7], KO was back with the #4 story. It was part two of Brian Williams and "Mister" Bush , like part one a rerun recycled from NBC. The #3 story was The Great Leak Case, where all the Rovian plots to discredit people crumbled because it was Richard Armitage, a critic of the Iraq war, who was the infamous leaker. Olby lied that the President spoke "bogus information" in the State of the Union speech, then made fun of Stephen Hayes, who will write Cheney's official biography. The Wolffe Man did his best to spin the Armitage news as not really disproving the "conspiracy to smear Joe Wilson", and KO replayed a clip of Bush talking about leakers for something like the 89th time. After some yucks over Frist and his medical license, the segment mercifully creaked to a conclusion.
Two more teases for Olby's "special comment" preceded regurgitated NBC footage of an SUV rescued from flood waters, plus Katie Couric (KO's snark about the size of Couric's audience evidenced a particularly dense variety of chutzpah). Then Tara Reed, Paris Hilton, and Cruise News! Another tease for the "special comment", and then the Media Matters Minute: "comedian Rush Limbaugh" was the predictable "worst person" selection, for comments on obesity.
Then the "special comment", held for a Big Finish to keep the blue blog believers tuned in until the last possible Nielsen minute. Rumsfeld is a "quack", dissent is "essential" (whoever said it wasn't?), and Rummy is like the Nazis because they both claimed to have "a monopoly on all the facts". Krazy went off into a history lesson about pre-war England, then said Rummy is like the British because he "demonizes" disagreement. With a straight, even grumpy, face, Olby sermonized:
All voices count.
One need only peruse The List above to see how fervently Keith Olbermann lives that philosophy. He ranted on about the presumed "omniscience" of the Bush adminstration, while ticking off old favorites like WMDs, UBL, flu vaccine, and Katrina. It's "arrogance" and "hubris", lectured Mr Humility himself:
He, "Mister" Bush , Mr Cheney, and their cronies have, inadvertently or intentionally, profitted and benefitted, both personally and politically. And yet he can stand up in public and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emperor's New Clothes".... With what country has he confused the United States of America?... Men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag.... Earlier Americans always found their way to the light and we can too. The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense and this administration are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: the destruction of our freedoms.... This country faces a new type of fascism indeed.
Hyperbole Alert! All of this is, of course, based on Keith's bizarre notion that Rumsfeld does not have the right to criticize people he disagrees with. But naturally, Herr Olbermann takes it to the next Kool-Aid level. The Evil Bush Crime Administration wants to outlaw dissent! If Rummy gets his way, and bans anyone who disagrees with him from being allowed to speak, America will end up like... like... like an hour of Countdown!
Update II: Do you believe in coincidences? As Olby returned from vacation to level his much-hyped attack on Donald Rumsfeld, over at The O'Reilly Factor someone decided this would be a good opportunity to replay a segment with a helicopter cameraman (who happens to have a daughter named Katy).