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    Olbermann Watch, "persecuting" Keith since 2004


    August 8, 2006
    Olbermann Limericks: The Complete Collection

    There once was an Olbermann blog
    Where many a person would flog
    Olby's fans must admit
    We righties have wit
    When roasting their hero who's clogged

    I've gathered the Olbywatch prose
    For all to enjoy I suppose
    In one central place
    To mock Olby's face
    And awaken olbyloons who doze

    I've fancied the poems of the post
    Mocking our dear Countdown host
    Olbywatch blog is where
    You can read all that are there
    And join in the Olbermann roast

    We welcome all to enter do dare
    To enjoy the limericks we'll share
    Roasting Olbly the man
    With the orange-tinged tan
    But Olbyloons we beg to beware

    Olbermann Limericks

    In response to March 2006 posts:

    There once was a man named Olbermann
    Who fancied himself as a Doberman.
    He had his own show
    Oh! The hot air he'd blow
    Unwatchable? Yes, for a Soberman

    There once was a man named Keith
    Who when angry would show his teeth.
    Bill O'Reilly he hated,
    And taunted and baited.
    A sewer he lived underneath.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 1, 2006 12:51 AM

    In celebrating Meltdown's pending cancellation...

    There once was crazy man Keith
    For him, there was no beneath
    He'd sunken so low
    They cancelled his show
    On Meltdown there now hangs a wreath

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 1, 2006 04:36 PM


    Orange is the hue of the face
    Of the man whose show's in last place
    But he gained no appeal
    Cause the tan wasn't real
    Worse yet was his show--a disgrace

    The Hour of Spin's full of chatter
    From libs as mad as a hatter
    Distortions and lies
    Are common as flies
    To Olby the truth doesn't matter

    Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 08:41 AM


    Haiku for Olby

    "Apricot Man" -- variations on a theme

    Unnatural hue
    Man tan burns the soul
    Watch it spin

    Sour apricot
    Pit of pure evil
    Poison skin

    "Chamelion"

    Lizard basking
    Can you turn orange?
    Yes indeed!

    "Spin Me"

    Countdown hits
    Orange kaleidoscopic confusion
    Room spins


    Posted by: KfK at April 2, 2006 01:05 PM


    The tan's not a fake was the claim
    From Olby, the spinner of fame
    But he appeared on the tube
    With a very strange hue
    Like a giant orange facial stain

    The guest on the show named Dean
    Was a felon with a record unclean
    He raved and he ranted
    With views that were slanted
    Such hypocrisy rarely seen


    Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 02:44 PM


    I'm having all the fun so I want the OlbermannWatch community to join in and help me with my latest limerick:

    Olby was once more obssessed
    With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
    The ratings came in
    He got his ass kicked again
    __________________________________ .

    Finish the last line for me! Bonus points if you can work in something that mentions "man tan"

    Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 10:24 PM


    Olby was once more obssessed
    With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
    The ratings came in
    He got his ass kicked again
    Surprise, Dana Millbank's the guest!

    O.K, that was too easy.

    Posted by: ObserverDan at April 3, 2006 12:25 AM


    With guests like Michael Musto
    It's no wonder the ratings are low
    Olby's stuck in last spot
    With skin apricot
    Meltdown's host has a slight orange glow

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 3, 2006 04:08 PM

    There once was a show that count down
    Hosted by a pumpkin-hued clown
    He lost the ratings race
    Even bitch-slapped by Ms. Grace
    The orange one was forced to leave town

    Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 04:55 PM
    There once was an orange-tinted ass
    That spewed venom and possessed little class
    O'Reilly he hated
    And daily he baited
    Was the man-tan so he could pass?


    Posted by: Joe Torre at April 4, 2006 08:25 AM

    --------------------------------------------------
    In response to April 2006 posts

    There once was " Flight 93"
    That the "critics" said was too soon to see.
    But is that the real reason?
    No, it's because election season
    Is here. From the Dems we shall flee!

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 10:29 PM

    There once was a tv hack
    On his show would be quack after quack.
    His guests would come on
    And distort, lie, and con
    Because truth, indeed, they did lack.

    Hey Keith Olbermann, it's time to play the national anthem and sign off....forever. Your show is done.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 12:44 AM


    With O'Reilly the kook is obsessed
    Spews venom like a demon possessed
    Meltdown has no taste
    Of bandwidth, a waste
    Geraldo would be his last guest

    Posted by: Bill Gates at April 29, 2006 09:49 AM

    To O'Reilly he likes to give flak
    But compared, he's just a hack
    For a moment stop hating
    And look at the rating
    Olby's taking it right up the crack

    Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at April 29, 2006 10:08 AM

    He's been found in the fetal position
    That's bizarre no matter what your condition
    Under his desk he was quivering
    Uncontrollably shivering
    For Keith, an occupational tradition

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 29, 2006 11:19 AM

    There once was a man named Rush
    Who's ratings made the loony lefties blush.
    But one day they got their chance
    To get rid of him and dance
    But they failed and all you hear now is a hush.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 10:29 PM

    There once was show that count down
    With a host that resembled a clown
    With his size 14 shoe
    And apricot hue
    "Krusty" Keith was scorned in each town


    Posted by: Anonymous at May 1, 2006 12:32 AM


    Olby an obnoxious fellow
    Had the hue of a fruity tangelo
    All the guests that you see
    With Olby agree
    Which shows his true colors--yellow!

    Posted by: hank at May 1, 2006 09:48 AM

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Urine is yellow
    Keith Olbermann is too.

    There once was a man named Kaplan
    And he thought he knew what was happnin'.
    So he hired this dude
    Who was crass, dumb, crude
    And his ratings were a pile of nothin'.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 07:42 PM

    The host in the eight o'clock slot
    Has a face with a hue apricot
    The narcissistic tan
    Is pure Olbermann
    It's sad when that's all that you've got

    Posted by: Paris Hilton at April 27, 2006 07:54 PM


    There once was a man named blucaller
    Who, at conservatives, would always holler.
    He'd lose his composure
    With overexposure
    On this site. Dude, wear a shockcollar!

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:35 PM

    There once were these folks called liberals
    Who would always tell lies and fiberals.
    Oh, their talk was so sillary
    Like "Let's all vote for hillary"
    That you'd laugh 'till you'd break your riberals.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:43 PM

    Fact-checker is not on the staff
    So each night we all get to laugh
    NBC spews it's lies
    Through Keith's beady eyes
    Meltdown's a journalistic gaffe

    Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 28, 2006 01:55 PM

    There once was a little game
    Played by those like demonstrably lame.
    They would wine and they'd pout
    They believed they had clout.
    And would yearn to gain left-wing fame.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 03:05 PM

    Keith's thousands of fans adore him,
    You right-wing loonies abhor him,
    His outstanding prose
    Makes you jealous I suppose
    So you pick on him ad nauseum.

    Posted by: SherryStarr at May 1, 2006 10:19 PM


    In this world there are things called lies
    Which good folks detest and despise.
    But there are folks on the left
    Who are completely bereft
    Of ideas. But is that a suprise.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 10:42 PM

    A moonbat poster named Jill
    Gets ever loonier still
    Hates Bush with a passion
    Cause it's the lib fashion
    Thinks the best prez was Bill

    Posted by: hank at April 27, 2006 12:03 AM


    There once was a host with no life
    With a man named Bill he would strife
    Whose cage he would rattle
    But always last in their battle
    Turn your back and in goes his knife

    Posted by: Tony Snow at April 27, 2006 09:41 AM

    His fans think his words are prothetic
    The fact is his show is pathetic
    He's just a moonbat lib
    He likens himself glib
    Meltdown works like an anesthetic

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 27, 2006 10:31 AM

    Meltdown is pawned off as a "news show"
    NBC has it's head in the Snow
    The beady-eyed host
    In the ratings, he's toast
    So roll out creep Michael Musto

    Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 27, 2006 03:42 PM

    There once lived a moonbat named Keith
    "He's crazy" his shrink did bequeath
    His "news show" is lame
    Last in the ratings game
    Nancy Grace he falls way beneath

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 26, 2006 09:06 AM

    There once was a man (?) name blucaller
    Who did nasty things for only a dollar.
    He'd watch Keith at 8
    And shout " Ain't he great!"
    To the T.V. he'd say " YO Yo Keith, holler!"

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 08:17 PM


    His friends include kook Charlie Sheen
    Chuck's 9/11 comments were mean
    Opened mouth and he shat
    Another crazy moonbat
    Like chief left-wing loon Howard Dean

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 25, 2006 11:06 AM

    He scrapes out his life as a talker
    In the lens he stares like a gawker
    Quite a strange creature
    He tracked down his teacher
    His shrink diagnosed him a stalker

    Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 25, 2006 11:47 AM

    There once lived a moonbat called Frick
    Frack was his boyfriend Dan Patrick
    Frick worshiped Frack
    For the hole in his crack
    Add Michael Musto, it's a hat trick

    Posted by: Moe Rocca at April 22, 2006 01:11 PM


    His distortions of fact make one cringe
    It's beyond the lunatic fringe
    The venom he spews
    He refers to as "news"
    His shrink says he'll likely unhinge

    Posted by: Wikipedia Blogger at April 22, 2006 11:35 AM


    There once was an arrogant jerk
    Who had a show on a cable network.
    He would host Tavis Smiley
    Attack Bill O'Reilly
    And his ratings? Near the bottom, they'd lurk.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 24, 2006 01:32 PM

    His friends include loon Charlie Sheen
    I've heard that 'ole Chuck can't come clean
    Olby's cohorts are whack
    Keith's just a left-wing hack
    A moonbat that's crazier than Dean

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 24, 2006 01:44 PM

    There once was a man from Secaucus
    Whose show was rowdy and raucous.
    But the truth was much bleaker
    For the left wing truth seeker
    His show was completely obnoxious.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 12:12 AM


    There once was a man with no gonads
    Who would parrot all the left wing attack ads.
    To nobody's surprise,
    He would spew out his lies,
    For John Dean, he would dust off the knee pads.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 01:24 AM


    NBC claims it's a "news show"
    That claim is false, we all know
    Meltdown's parade of loons
    Sing the same worn-out tunes
    To the host with the curious glow

    Posted by: Phil Donahue at April 22, 2006 10:37 AM


    There once was a host who talked trash
    O'Reilly and Bush he would bash
    Always affronting
    But never confronting
    He liked to name-call and then dash

    Posted by: Gerlado Rivera at April 21, 2006 10:52 AM


    The fans of KO are moonbats
    Some know how to read... congrats
    Only a tool
    Would worship this fool
    That's why Olby's fans wear ass hats

    Posted by: Barbara Bush at April 21, 2006 03:17 PM

    I see "Barbara Bush" ain't a fan;
    She's free to opine, if she can.
    There's just one odd thing
    About the right wing--
    Why can't you conservatives scan?

    Posted by: sylvia at April 21, 2006 10:02 PM


    I'm new to this online dispute,
    And know not where the problems took root
    Between "Johnny Dollar"
    And Mr. "Blucaller"
    But I think their bickering's cute.

    Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:01 AM


    Puck says if the Olbermann show
    Had more Keith and less video
    The ratings would rise!
    I'm left to surmise
    He must be a fan of KO. . .

    Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:34 AM

    Statements of fact they are few
    From the boy with the apricot hue
    "News Show" claims NBC
    That's a joke, journalistically
    Since when did news have to be true?


    Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 19, 2006 07:26 PM
    His face has an orange-hued tinge
    His comments make sane people cringe
    He's not thought of too highly
    By his arch-rival O'Reilly
    The host of Meltdown's off his hinge

    Posted by: Katie Couric at April 19, 2006 03:56 PM

    The rantings of a loon named Frost
    Makes me think he's hitting the sauce
    He claims "persecution"
    And wants "revolution"
    And you wonder why libs are so lost?

    Posted by: hank at April 19, 2006 04:04 PM

    The host of Meltdown's insane
    He whacked his head on the train
    Now his thinking ain't right
    Attacks women for spite
    He's hiding under his desk again

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 18, 2006 09:30 AM


    His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
    Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
    He can't hold a job
    Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
    Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

    Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:51 AM


    His curious orange color is fading
    The same can be said for his rating
    Most find him deplorable
    Extremely abhorable
    Red are the states he is hating


    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 15, 2006 10:06 AM


    His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
    Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
    He can't hold a job
    Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
    Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

    Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:38 AM

    A double Olby limerick for Easter:

    Olby went one day to his shrink
    And cried: "No cares what I think!"
    "My ratings are down
    They think I'm a clown,
    It's enough to make a man drink!"

    Olby was soon past his trial
    And went into deep denial
    "I'm really quite good,
    I'm misunderstood"
    "It's time to spew moonbat bile!"

    Posted by: hank at April 16, 2006 08:22 PM


    There once was a libby named Jack
    Who couldn\'t be more than a hack
    Try as he might
    Jack couldn\'t be right
    But he insists on keep coming back!


    Posted by: Anonymous at April 19, 2006 06:37 PM


    Olby's exposed as a loon
    And a liar, fraud, and buffoon.
    He brings up the rear
    In the ratings each year
    Which makes his ass kissers fume.


    Posted by: hank at April 12, 2006 11:12 PM


    With guests like Dana Milbank
    Olby's ratings bottom the tank
    Keith's spirit is mean
    His motives unclean
    Meltdown perpetuates last in rank

    Posted by: jack at April 13, 2006 01:25 AM


    Olby says "no" to dissent
    Only views of a liberal bent
    Are found on his show
    With ratings so low
    His audience meets in a tent.

    Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 12:58 PM

    The ratings for Olby went south
    He was somewhat down in the mouth
    But it only got worse
    The dreaded curse!
    He's losing to Zahn in a rout!

    Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 04:09 PM

    Yes Puck, He's an itellectual giant!
    He's surpassed Aristotle in thought and reasoning!
    He's put Einstein to shame.
    What an honor to have a genius like that on this board!
    We should be honored!

    Posted by: O'Reilly Rules at April 12, 2006 08:21 PM

    Fact-checker is not in the credit
    It's wrong? We'll air it, not edit.
    With an hour to fill
    And no journalistic skill
    Insert Rocaa or Musto... forget it.

    Posted by: Katie Couric at April 6, 2006 09:16 AM

    He's under his desk in the fetal position
    "He's a kook" if you ask his physician
    His docs are head-shrinking
    To help alter his thinking
    Prozac would help his present condition

    Posted by: Former ESPN Staff at April 6, 2006 03:09 PM


    There once lived a host and a fool
    From both sides of his mouth did he drool
    Another day, another dolor
    For he of curious color
    Krazy Keith... the left-wing tool

    Posted by: Countdown Staff at April 5, 2006 12:41 PM

    The loonies think Olby's a sage
    And react with hysterical rage
    When critics reveal
    The facts he conceals
    And the tan of a color so strange

    Posted by: hank at April 5, 2006 05:21 PM


    The left-wing hysteria spews nightly
    From a host whose bulb shines not-so-brightly
    Olby needs a new shrink
    That's what his staff seems to think
    Serious journalists scorn the kook rightly

    Posted by: Monica Novotny at April 4, 2006 11:11 PM

    Posters from states that are blue
    Try to aid their man of orange hue
    They sputter and grope
    And search for some hope
    But know his demise is due.


    Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 08:18 PM


    The libs were mighty incensed
    When this site showed Olby was dense.
    No guests except libs
    With thier lies and fibs
    And other assorted nonsense.

    Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 11:16 PM

    There once were these liberal house fraus
    Who would gather for their liberal pow-wows.
    They'd never be late
    So they'd tune in at 8
    For the man with those crazy, dark eyebrows.


    How disappointed do you think Olby was when he found out what the "chasing tail" segment really was.?

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 4, 2006 12:39 AM


    To mankind Olby is a disgrace
    With attacks on Mrs. Bush and Ms. Grace
    Only a cowardly boy
    Would attack women for joy
    Dick saw orange but shot the wrong face

    Posted by: Jack at April 4, 2006 10:25 AM


    There once was a far left wing post
    That implied on my balls I would choke
    she's bound to have doubts
    when balls with such clout
    are even to big for her throat


    That would be a violent and empty post. It is a good thing that I'm above that:)

    Posted by: Dave at April 4, 2006 01:25 PM


    The guests provide no opposition
    On the nightly Meltdown transmission
    Keith banged his head
    Now his brain must be dead
    He's under his desk in the fetal position

    Posted by: Billy "O" at April 4, 2006 06:45 PM


    There once was a far left-wing poster
    Olby facts would trump Bill he dare boasted
    Ironic he lacks
    the aforementioned facts
    if he tried he'd get thoroughly roasted

    Posted by: Dave at April 3, 2006 05:20 PM


    The host of Countdown, he is gutless
    Name-calls, then hides like the nutless
    If he had any stones
    He'd receive broken bones
    And cable TV would have one putz less

    Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 06:32 PM


    Now Olby's attacking Lance Armstrong
    On so many levels that's just wrong
    Lance, he is great
    Keith's filled with hate
    Twisted dislikes are his swan song

    Posted by: Sheryl Crow at June 1, 2006 09:55 AM

    Krazy Keith is the news laughing stock
    Countdown's the proverbial crock
    Keith thinks he's funny
    But his show's losing money
    To rivals the sponsors will flock

    Posted by: Ted Baxter at June 1, 2006 11:58 AM
    ---------------------------------------------------

    In response to May Posts

    If his show was a horse, it'd be shot.
    If his show was a tooth, it'd have rot.
    There's no way it will be swimmin'
    With some hot bowlegged women.
    Of the ladies, rest assured, Countdown has naught.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:20 AM


    He's in bed with his butt-buddy Dan
    Two prima donnas share an orange tan
    Narcissistic and vain
    Viewed with total disdain
    More makeup and rouge... You da man!

    Posted by: Katie Couric at May 31, 2006 08:37 AM

    He's the host that clear thinkers despise
    But the moonbats can't see through his lies
    If his mouth is going
    The mistruths are flowing
    Meltdown's where truth wears a disguise

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 31, 2006 08:54 AM

    There once was a show with one side
    And its' ratings continued to slide.
    Now a smart host would say,
    " Let's have both sides in play."
    But the brain of THIS host appears fried.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 11:31 AM


    Keith was heard to exclaim,
    " How'd I get so damn lame?
    And it's too late to change
    My personna so strange.
    And O'Reilly kicks my ass in this game."

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:19 PM

    He's the host who resides in last place
    Ass kicked by O'Reilly and Grace
    No amount of lying
    Can deny Meltdown is dying
    Krazy Keith thinks he's still in the race

    Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at May 31, 2006 03:46 PM


    Meltdown is the eight o'clock snore
    Every night it's the same... what a bore
    Attack Bush, Bill, and Pitt
    Keep shoveling more shit
    Krazy Keith is just NBC's whore

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 30, 2006 09:43 AM


    Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
    All America knows this fact, even his mom.
    But the day will soon be here
    When Countdown is outta here.
    Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 05:05 PM

    Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
    All America knows this fact, even his mom.
    But the day will soon be here
    When Countdown is outta here.
    Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.


    Posted by: Anonymous at May 30, 2006 07:33 PM

    Keith needed his huge eyebrows plucked,
    And it was then Kaplan knew he was fucked.
    So out to sea they did slip
    On their rudderless ship.
    Good God, how that whole network sucked.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 11:23 PM

    " I think I've got it " Keith said one night, very wryly
    With a face that one would say was rather smiley.
    So he sold his soul to Satan
    Hoping this would save his bacon.
    But even Satan knows Keith can't beat Bill O'Reilly.

    Keith just watches as his ratings drop and drop
    Now his loony fans say our poetry must stop.
    Well pardon me, friends, if I tell
    All these loons to go to hell.
    It's not our fault that Keith's lame show is such a flop.

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue.
    Sunkist is orange
    Keith Olbermann is too.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 27, 2006 11:57 AM

    Every night it's an hour of spin
    The guests are the host's moonbat kin
    There's no opposing views
    But they call it the "news"
    Meltdown is an hour of sin

    Posted by: Pat Robertson at May 28, 2006 09:36 AM

    Pat Robertson, you speak the truth
    Of that left wing dumbass, so uncouth.
    For he's a wuss and a knave
    To his lies, he's a slave.
    But he thinks he's this brave super sleuth.

    Posted by: Jerry Falwell at May 28, 2006 01:47 PM

    He's the host that sane folks despise
    The guests they will echo his lies
    He's the industry joke
    A pathetic, gutless bloke
    Attacking colleagues is not very wise

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 29, 2006 09:23 AM


    Dear leftists, there's no place to hide.
    A limerick will not be denied.
    You can whine, hiss, and cry
    And wish that you' die.
    Or just sit back and take in the ride.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 29, 2006 04:01 PM

    Krazy Keith is truly a loser
    To like his show, one must be a boozer.
    For no sane man can stand
    One who's so damned man tanned
    Plus Countdown can be quite the snoozer.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:15 PM

    Meltdown's a predictable show
    Each night he attacks Mr. O
    Krazy Keith's discontent
    Is a boring non-event
    It's no wonder the ratings are low


    Posted by: Brian Unger at May 25, 2006 11:53 PM

    He's the host that most seem to hate
    Each night a one-sided debate
    Meltdown is mind rot
    Keith's face... apricot
    Opposing views make his ego deflate

    Posted by: Katie Couric at May 26, 2006 08:58 AM

    He's the beady-eyed loon with no class
    His face looks like Barbaro's ass
    Krazy Keith needs some email
    Regarding: cute ponytail
    Looks like Barbaro's got a bad case of gas

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 25, 2006 06:03 PM

    With guests like Dana Milbank
    The ratings have bottomed the tank
    The guests are all loon
    Cancellation will be soon
    Cuz Meltdown is smelling quite rank

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 25, 2006 09:30 AM

    There once was a woman named Starr
    Who found OW poets sub-par
    She complained in a huff
    You boys are too rough
    Keith deserves better by far

    Posted by: bill at May 25, 2006 09:47 AM

    The moonbats inhabit his show
    It's no wonder the ratings are low
    The kooks will come out
    To hear Keith rant and pout
    And tell lies that habitually flow

    Posted by: 25-54 demographic at May 24, 2006 09:42 AM

    Meltdown is journalistically horrible
    The host is sophomoric and deplorable
    The guests are pure loon
    That echo Keith's tune
    Most find it extremely abhorrable

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 24, 2006 11:01 AM

    Keith having a show is incomprehensible
    And his bias is indefenseble.
    But that didn't stop the true believers,
    The liars and the deceivers,
    Who themselves were reprehensible.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 11:35 AM


    He's the beady-eyed host with a man-tan
    His viewers include about one fan
    His show's not rated highly
    Nightly bitch-slapped by O'Reilly
    Spewing lies is "pulling an Olbermann"

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 24, 2006 11:55 AM

    Keith having a show is incomprehensible
    And his bias is indefenseble.
    But that didn't stop the true believers,
    The liars and the deceivers,
    Who themselves were reprehensible.

    Oh man that sucked. P-Hew!

    Gonna spray some lysol at my screen.

    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:03 PM


    Sean Hannity Sucked on my balls.
    and bill o'reilly still plays with his dolls.
    but that's not as bad,
    As Lou Dobbs licking his dad,
    while cry'n bout immigrantion laws


    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:15 PM


    There once was a nameless poster
    Who's life was a sad roller coaster.
    He would troll on this site,
    Scream and howl in sheer fright.
    Just another gutless, loony left boaster.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 02:52 PM

    There once was a dork named Fegan
    whose mom fucked and sucked Ronald Reagan
    she said "What an honor and Delight
    Mr. president my Rear end is so tight
    Please give me a golden shower I'm beggin'
    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:14 PM

    In Secacus, there's no need to revel
    In a show that can't reach a nice level.
    So for those who still care
    Why his show's on the air
    It's quite clear that he's owned by the devil.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:17 PM

    There once was a foul mouthed lefty
    Who was full of shit, and therefore quite hefty.
    He'd watch Keith every night
    Then crap his pants with delight.
    But his weekends were not quite as zesty.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:31 PM

    Patrick was caught by pimp
    Who beat him and gave him a limp
    Oh please Please sir let me be.
    And I'll you pay a handsome fee.
    But he was beaten and re-named the gimp

    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:54 PM

    There once was a man called Anon
    Who thought he could outsmart Fegan
    But Patrick was quicker
    Anon a bullshitter
    "Anon",said Patrick,"be gone"

    Posted by: bill at May 24, 2006 04:24 PM

    The once was a man name bill
    Who had absolutely no skill
    his post was so bad
    I wish his momma had had.
    an abortion causing little pill

    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 04:46 PM

    There once was a no name turd
    Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
    He thought his posts were top drawer
    But instead were quite poor.
    'Cause with him, reality's blurred


    Countdown is on life support
    " No hope of recovery " says the report.
    But Kaplan won't pull the plug
    On the man with the orange mug.
    Keith remains his network's big wort.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 06:27 PM

    "There once was a no name turd
    Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
    He thought his posts were top drawer
    But instead were quite poor.
    'Cause with him, reality's blurred"

    there once was a man who couldn't rhyme.
    he was quite the puke and a slime.
    he tried to ryhme drawer with poor
    he did this because he's a boor.
    he should quit and become a mime.


    Countdown is on life support
    " No hope of recovery " says the report.
    But Kaplan won't pull the plug
    On the man with the orange mug.
    Keith remains his network's big wort.
    Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 08:06 PM

    Poor Keith had a creepy, weird stalker
    Who fancied himself the smooth talker.
    He'd send a fragrant bouquet
    Every other Wednesday
    Then hide naked and aroused in Keith's locker.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:24 PM

    The left has sent Keith on a quest.
    It's too bad that he's opposite the best.
    For, you see, on Fox News
    Where they air all the views
    Mr. Bill kicks Keith's arse with great zest.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:56 PM

    Anonymous and Keith were in love
    So sweet! Like that of a dove.
    For each other they'd reach
    Then take walks on the beach.
    It was truly the work from above.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:10 AM

    He's the infamous, deplorable host
    The blue-blogs will take down his post
    Journalistically speaking
    Krazy Keith is reeking
    In the ratings he smells like burnt toast

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 23, 2006 10:01 AM
    NBC is the news laughing stock
    The viewers will scoff, jeer, and mock
    The cuts, pastes, and spews
    That they call the news
    Is loon bait and the moonbats will flock


    Posted by: Don Imus at May 23, 2006 11:53 AM

    The host says he's mentally ill
    And opposing viewpoints are nil
    His ratings are low
    Because people know
    His fact free stories are shrill

    Posted by: hank at May 23, 2006 11:56 AM

    He roots for the team in pin stripes
    Whose fans are bandwagon butt-wipes
    Meltdown's circling the drain
    But Keith's at the game
    With a guest loon to spew moonbat gripes

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 22, 2006 09:16 AM

    My boss has his head up his ass
    Attacks on colleagues? No class
    The staff thinks he's a fool
    But he's NBC's tool
    Unrefined, insensitive, and crass

    Posted by: Monica Novotny at May 22, 2006 09:39 AM

    It's the same freakin' show every night
    Evidently, the host ain't too bright
    Predictable and boring
    With the viewers, not scoring
    The ratings track the show's sorry plight

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 19, 2006 09:32 AM

    Does NBC have a functioning brain?
    Cuz Meltdown is circling the drain
    The sponsors aren't buying
    Cuz Keith can't quit lying
    Most view him with total disdain


    Posted by: Tony Snow at May 17, 2006 10:09 AM


    The boy from Secaucus is weird
    With colleagues he's not too endeared
    He bonked his head on the train
    Now most think he's insane
    Just a coward that's not to be feared

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 15, 2006 11:43 AM

    His obsession with men is bizarre
    The infatuation has gone way too far
    Bill O'Reilly, Tom Cruise
    And Rush Limbaugh are "news"
    And in Olbyland Keith is the star

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 15, 2006 11:58 AM

    His staff thinks he's mentally ill
    Try Prozac, it comes in a pill
    His sibling is nuts
    So he's not just a putz
    Psychiatrists just can't get their fill

    Posted by: Dan Patrick at May 15, 2006 02:15 PM


    The network really needed a pawn
    Insert Meltdown with host demon spawn
    Krazy Keith's such a tool
    I almost pity the fool
    His show is the same every night (insert yawn)

    Posted by: Rita Cosby at May 12, 2006 12:40 AM

    He blurted out 200th visit
    But the facts say two, which is it?
    His lies are quite tangled
    His reputation is mangled
    If Meltdown were cancelled, who'd miss it?

    Posted by: Jack Abramoff at May 10, 2006 10:46 PM

    Krazy Keith would get hopping mad
    And his fans felt awfully sad.
    'Cause his big, bold adventure
    Was like an old man's gross denture:
    Very slimy, and smelling real bad.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 10, 2006 11:12 PM

    There once was a Mann named Olber,
    Who found it quite hard to stay sober.
    So he dropped to his knees,
    And said "pretty please,"
    To the alien anal prober.

    Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at May 11, 2006 12:35 AM

    The advertisers aren't buying
    Last place is where Meltdown is vying
    Commercials must be sold
    So untruths will be told
    If Keith's lips are moving, he's lying

    Posted by: The Ratings Police at May 11, 2006 09:00 AM


    There once was a kook Krazy Keith
    Each night he'd lie through his teeth
    He talked a lot of smack
    The proverbial lying sack
    So low, there was no beneath

    Posted by: Barry Bonds at May 11, 2006 09:23 AM

    Meltdown is the industry joke
    On competitor's dust it does choke
    Journalistically bad
    The host is a cad
    His rivals he tries to provoke

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 11, 2006 10:02 AM


    In the ratings he just can't keep pace
    Bitch-slapped every night by Ms. Grace
    So the numbers he'll skew
    And more lies he will spew
    But alas, he's stuck in last place

    Posted by: Paula Zahn at May 11, 2006 11:21 AM


    One morning they find they are fu@#ed,
    Their hero-in-chief: how he's sucked!
    They search high and low,
    to diffuse failure's glow,
    so in Keith a straw man they construct.


    Posted by: Lefty McGee at May 11, 2006 12:23 PM

    Keith and his fans are one.
    Their agenda and ideas are done.
    So let's give them a hand
    For their Custer like stand.
    Looking back, they had a nice run.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 11, 2006 01:06 PM

    The GE stockholders are mad as hell
    Meltdown's in last and the ads won't sell
    NBC's a big joke
    For employing a bloke
    Whose ethics emit a bad smell

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 10, 2006 10:03 AM

    The network is called NBC
    It's run by the goons at GE
    If the propaganda it spews
    Is called Nightly News
    Then Countdown defines insanity

    Posted by: Tom Brokaw at May 10, 2006 10:49 AM

    Spewing his bile quite freely
    Watching Olby was making me sleepy
    He's last in his slot
    'Cause his content is rot
    And often I find it quite creepy

    Posted by: hank at May 10, 2006 05:26 PM


    Meltdown's in the eight o'clock slot
    Intelligent writing it's not
    Sophomoric at best
    More strip clubs, more chest!
    Does a child run Keith's looney lot?


    Posted by: Bart Simpson at May 10, 2006 05:42 PM

    Each night it's the same song and dance
    The attacks, the lies, and the rants
    His obsession with Bill
    Is disturbing and shrill
    Another season? He won't stand a chance

    Posted by: Katie Couric at May 9, 2006 09:05 AM

    There once was a show in last place
    The host simply couldn't keep pace
    Pimp-slapped by the rest
    The pathetic little pest
    Spewed hate from his orange-tinted face


    Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 9, 2006 11:57 AM

    A song for our orange faced friend and his bosses. Sing along at http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/oompa.htm:

    Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
    I have a perfect puzzle for you
    Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
    If you are wise, you'll listen to me

    What do you get when your host is a brat
    Pouting and shouting about this and that
    Making up stories and hiding in shame
    You know exactly who's to blame (BWA BWA)

    THE EXEC-U-TIVE PRO-DU-CER

    Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
    I have another puzzle for you
    Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
    If you are wise, you'll listen to me

    What do you get from Olby TV?
    A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
    Why don't you try simply reading a book?
    Or can you just not bear to look?

    You'll get no...you'll get no...you'll get no commercials

    Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
    If you're not dopey, you will go far
    You will live in happiness too
    Unlike Olby the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

    Posted by: KfK at May 9, 2006 01:23 PM

    He's the beady-eyed kook on cable
    His guests from a moonbat stable
    It's like a cartoon
    An orange-tinted loon
    Playing host that's mentally unstable

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 9, 2006 02:05 PM

    "F you mother f-er" to quote
    It's part of the "news" that he wrote
    Meltdown's a disgrace
    No wonder last place
    Hear the orange one pathetically gloat

    Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at May 6, 2006 09:24 AM


    there once was a man named Jack Frost
    Who, when posting, much energy did exaust.
    He thought he was money
    And cool, smooth and funny.
    But truth is, he appeared to be lost.

    To the detractors of limericks: Accept them before they destroy you.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 06:27 PM

    People spoke out in force
    And joined our nation's discourse.
    But one man disagreed
    "It adds nothing" he'd plead.
    He's, indeed, the backside of a horse.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 09:43 PM

    The orange one sings the nightly blues
    Attacks on O'Reilly, Bush, and Cruise
    It's become quite boring
    In the ratings, not scoring
    Can NBC really call this crap "news"?

    Posted by: Family Guy at May 8, 2006 08:43 AM

    Poor Keith is so darn Krazy
    Either that or he's very lazy.
    For he seems out to lunch
    And his show has no punch.
    On what's truth, he appears to be hazy.

    Krazy Keith was jealous of Fox
    At their building he was seen throwing rocks.
    He would shout " They love Bush,
    An agenda they push.
    How can people tune in by the flocks? "
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 8, 2006 06:36 PM

    Keith Olbermann talked a big game
    About Rove outing Valerie Plame.
    But not one shred of proof
    Was procured by this goof.
    So I guess that Fox News is to blame.

    There once was a man with no balls
    Who answered the loony left's calls.
    He began a crusade
    To come to its' aid
    By sticking pins in George Bush voodoo dolls.

    One of Krazy Keith's least favorite sites
    Was a blog of a thousand delights.
    Called " Olbermann Watch "
    It exposed the huge blotch
    That could never reach O'Reilly's heights.

    There once was a spineless coward
    Who made the lefties feel empowered.
    For he was the man
    With the sexy orange tan
    On whom all their adoration was showered.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 4, 2006 10:53 PM

    The stockholders are really pissed
    They want the orange one dismissed
    Meltdown's bleeding money
    They don't think that's funny
    In the ratings he's last on the list


    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 5, 2006 10:10 AM


    The lies they flow like a faucet
    NBC should take Meltdown and toss it
    The show Keith created
    Resembles something masturbated
    Ethics draw the line and he crossed it

    Posted by: Peter North at May 5, 2006 12:50 PM


    Why is it so darn easy
    To poke fun at one so sleazy.
    It's because no dissent
    Is allowed to present
    Other views, for it makes the host queasy.

    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 5, 2006 01:43 PM

    His rivals he glibly will slight
    When confronted he hides with much fright
    Meltdown is pure bunk
    The host is a punk
    He likes to talk smack but won't fight

    Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at May 4, 2006 09:26 AM

    The personal attack he does savor
    But whines when they return favor
    The orange hypocrite
    Is so full of sh!t
    All journalist rights he should waiver

    Posted by: Dan Rather at May 4, 2006 01:42 PM


    There once was a man who was crass
    Who the loony left tuned in en masse.
    But as much as they tried
    The show nightly died.
    As a real show, it never could pass.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 11:21 PM

    Each night he sings the same worn-out tune
    Bash Bush, O'Reilly, and Cruise... what a loon
    Meltdown is predictable
    The host is despicable
    His show will be cancelled by June

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 3, 2006 09:32 AM

    His shrink says he's mad as two hatters
    He lift and reads Media Matters
    On his show the lies will spew
    In his mouth, size 14 shoe
    Countdown is the show where crap splatters

    Posted by: Katie Couric at May 3, 2006 11:47 AM


    NBC has an hour to fill
    But the host has no journalistic skill
    So that facts he shall spin
    "Lift and read" from his kin
    And lose nightly to arch-rival Bill

    Posted by: Uberloon at May 2, 2006 12:04 PM


    The weirdest thing that I've seen
    Is this man who's half man, half tangerine.
    He has the appeal of a skunk
    And spews nothing but bunk.
    No truth from his show one can glean.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 11:43 PM

    The parade of moonbats march nightly
    For the host whose orange face shines brightly
    The load of crap that he spews
    NBC claims as news
    The ratings prove Meltdown unsightly

    Posted by: Billy "O" at May 2, 2006 10:12 AM

    There was a show with a host, who
    Concerning Democrat scandals said boo.
    For in his orange universe
    Which was oh so perverse,
    He concocted his Bush-hating brew.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 03:42 PM

    There once was a man with no nuts
    Who acted, you'll admit, like a putz.
    He wished folks take him serious
    A request too delirious
    For the man-tool displayed zero guts.
    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 05:56 PM


    Dan Abrams is the NBC boss
    Meltdown is the show he should toss
    Keep Rita and Tucker
    Lose the orange motherf*cker
    Who lifts and reads Daily Kos

    Posted by: Howie Mandel at July 2, 2006 10:28 AM


    Keith's the host that sane folks will mock
    His show is the hour of crock
    He couldn't be wronger
    His showÖ not much longer
    Dead pool? Meltdown's on the clock

    Posted by: Ann Coulter's Vagina at July 2, 2006 09:40 PM


    His attacks on Fox News are quite shrill
    He most recently slapped E.D. Hill
    His cheap shots are brutal
    But painfully futile
    Check the ratings for Fox News and Bill

    Posted by: Brian Kilmeade at July 3, 2006 03:34 PM

    There once was a bard named Homer
    Who was known as a bit of a roamer
    'Twas true he couldn't see
    And didn't care where he'd pee
    So he pissed on "The Bushiad" of Gomer

    Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 4, 2006 12:00 AM

    The orange one is seething with anger
    Cuz she published a blog, gosh dang her
    Much thanks for relief
    She gazed in disbelief
    The questions remains: did he bang her?


    Posted by: Gomer Shakespeare at July 5, 2006 07:10 PM

    Keef's a trainwreck in slow motion
    Nervous breakdown or stroke? Get the notion?
    He cheap-shotted a peer
    Now the end's looming near
    Sounds like Keef needs Viagra or lotion

    Posted by: merkle923 at June 30, 2006 06:35 PM

    He's obsessed with Bill O and Sean Hannity
    Man-tan, Ashleigh's glasses, such vanity!
    Bill O will amuse
    By lighting his fuse
    Viewers cringe and question his sanity

    Posted by: Laughing Stagehand at July 2, 2006 11:52 AM


    To the tops o' the ratings he aspires
    And hopes and prays that Bill-O retires
    Until then he e-mails
    Many willing females
    Then defames them all as ****ing liars

    Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 2, 2006 02:04 PM


    ----------------------------------

    In response to June posts

    Mrs. Olbermann claims she's a teacher
    But her offspring is quite a creature
    He's a lying cheap shot
    Yes, that's what she taught
    Attacks on women... another nice feature

    Posted by: Merkle923 at June 29, 2006 12:15 PM


    Krazy Keith and his mate "three hole" Patrick
    Is that why they call Dan "the hat trick"?
    Keith destroyed his own show
    So it's off to radio
    More obscenities to make us all sick

    Posted by: Peter Karmanos at June 29, 2006 02:14 PM

    His viewers are abandoning ship
    His ratings not even a blip
    Bitch-slapped in the face
    By Ms. Zahn and Ms. Grace
    Bill's ahead by a 9 to 1 clip

    Posted by: Ratings Police at June 27, 2006 09:59 PM

    Even O'Reilly's taking a swipe
    At NBC and their cable "news" tripe
    Primetime bottom-feeder
    Krazy Keith is their leader
    His show's based on nothing but hype

    Posted by: Rush Limbaugh at June 27, 2006 11:49 PM


    His show is a platform for hate
    His guests won't engage in debate
    He's spiteful and mean
    His email's obscene
    GE should send him home in a crate

    Posted by: Billy "O" at June 28, 2006 09:02 AM

    He's an authority for the insane
    Since he whacked his head on the subway train
    Sanity he'll attack
    Say pot-kettle-black
    Maybe Celiac has infected his brain

    Posted by: merkle666 at June 27, 2006 11:15 AM


    He lost Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
    His guests like to kiss lots of asses
    Except Michael Musto
    He wants someone to blow
    And Keef needs anger management classes

    Posted by: Katie Couric at June 27, 2006 11:29 AM


    With guests like Michael Musto
    The ratings have hit a new low
    He's a strange guy
    The cringe factor's high
    In the Village he's known as man-ho

    Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM


    With guests like Michael Musto
    The ratings have hit a new low
    He's a strange guy
    The cringe factor's high
    In the Village he's known as man-ho

    Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM


    Krazy Keith is circling the drain
    Desperate efforts to save are in vain
    The numbers don't lie
    Say "Meltdown, bye-bye"
    And Keith's off to asylum insane

    Posted by: Rita Cosby at June 23, 2006 04:00 PM


    There's only one side to his topic
    No retort or debate? That's myopic
    The guests lick his boots
    Blue blogs in cahoots
    His ratings have become microscopic

    Posted by: Billy "O" at June 23, 2006 07:29 AM


    Meltdown is the cable news bore
    Guest moonbats like Dean and Algore
    They must not give a damn
    Keef's a journalistic sham
    Moneyshot for ratings like a whore

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 23, 2006 11:38 AM

    Keith acts like a 10 year old child
    His accusations go way beyond wild
    If I were attacked as much
    As O'Reilly and such
    Police charges would have to be filed

    Posted by: Tom Cruise at June 23, 2006 12:32 PM


    He's the primetime cable "news" hack
    Paste and read cuz he doesn't know jack
    Smear Ann Coulter as gay
    Call it a day
    But it's Keith sucking hairy nutsack

    Posted by: Hairy Belafonte at June 23, 2006 01:11 PM

    He's got Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
    He's considered insane by the masses
    The guests echo his lies
    He's the one most despise
    Is Celiac causing off gasses?

    Posted by: Matt Drudge at June 20, 2006 07:37 PM


    NBC is the home of the loon
    Connie, Cramer, Oafie... what a boon
    Their case is a basket
    Connie blew a gasket
    They'll all be deep-sixed soon

    Posted by: Dan Abrams at June 20, 2006 09:39 AM


    e's the infamous, deplorable host
    The moonbats removed his last post
    His email's obscene
    He's obsessive and mean
    The one that colleagues despise most

    Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 18, 2006 10:14 AM


    The host likes to send viewers hate mail
    While his show it continues to fail
    He's vulger and crass
    Celiac gives him gas
    His emails should land him in jail

    Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 17, 2006 10:26 AM


    He's not only dumb, he's insane
    Celiac must be in his brain
    The emails he did
    Proves he's insipid
    His "news" show is circling the drain


    Posted by: Merkle923 at June 16, 2006 08:48 AM


    NBC is pathetic as hell
    Their newsroom belongs in a cell
    Keith is their man
    (He's got a good tan)
    Spokesman for the lies that they tell

    Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 15, 2006 10:50 PM


    There once was a loon with a "news" show
    He choked after eating a large crow
    He thought he was funny
    Soon he's making no money
    Hawking jock straps on sports radio

    Posted by: Billy "O" at June 15, 2006 10:26 PM


    Dan Abrams must fire the guy
    Each day the cringe factor's high
    Meltdown's good as dead
    But "I'm sorry" he said
    We all know that's just another lie

    Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 15, 2006 07:59 PM


    Meltdown is now in the dead pool
    Keith tossed out like a dull tool
    "I'm sorry" said Keith
    Hall Of Fame I bequeath
    A fitting end for the cowardly fool

    Posted by: Tucker Carlson at June 15, 2006 01:18 PM


    Taking cheap shots at colleagues... no class
    Soon he'll be out on his ass
    His schtick is tired
    Dan says "You're fired"
    Meltdown is sophomoric and crass


    Posted by: Alex Gordan at June 14, 2006 11:19 AM


    Meltdown's host is missing in action
    Is there discord within Oafie's faction?
    Unger's wearing Keef's hat
    Just another moonbat
    No viewers is the public reaction

    Posted by: Merkle923 at June 14, 2006 09:18 AM


    There once was a guest-host named Unger,
    Who went at his job like a plunger.
    So while he worked,
    And jerked, and jerked, and jerked...
    Ol' Keef was content with his bunger.

    Posted by: Edward Lear at June 12, 2006 09:12 PM


    Would the Krazy man please go away
    He scares the children each day
    His rants are sophomoric
    He's fired? Euphoric!
    No wife? No kids? Is he gay?

    Posted by: Katie Couric at June 10, 2006 05:05 PM

    Ann Coulter's much smarter than Keith
    He's many IQ points beneath
    Debate? He cannot
    So he'll take a cheap shot
    "Oafermann", the name I bequeath

    Posted by: Billy "O" at June 11, 2006 08:54 AM


    On TV there's no bigger fool
    For years he's been Kaplan's tool
    Now Kaplan's out
    Keith's still a lout
    And Meltdown is now in the dead pool

    Posted by: Alan Greenspan at June 11, 2006 12:13 PM


    Rick Kaplan didn't quit, he was fired
    Krazy Keith is the moonbat he hired
    Rick's ideas were failing
    So NBC sent him sailing
    And his shows will soon be retired

    Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 9, 2006 10:07 AM


    The stockholders were getting quite tired
    They wanted Rick Kaplan quite fired
    TV viewers are choosers
    His shows were all losers
    Last place is where Meltdown is mired


    Posted by: GE Stockholder at June 9, 2006 10:50 AM


    He's the host that most viewers hate
    He refuses to engage in debate
    He's cowardly and weak
    A chicken with a beak
    Opposing views make his ego deflate

    Posted by: Ann Coulter at June 7, 2006 09:24 AM


    Meltdown's ruling czar said "I quit"
    The host of the show said "Oh shit!"
    Without the czar's backing
    The host will be packing
    His "news show" was never worth spit

    Posted by: Katie Couric at June 7, 2006 05:52 PM


    Meltdown is the cable news bore
    The viewers have Keith on ignore
    Attack O'Reilly each night
    Keith's brain just ain't right
    He's in last if you're keeping score


    Posted by: Tom Brokaw at June 5, 2006 10:38 PM


    The host must be mentally ill
    His cries are becoming more shrill
    His shrink says he's kooky
    His tirades are spooky
    He's got a weird obsession with Bill

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 6, 2006 09:41 AM


    Invasion excuses proved nil,
    Yet on websites like this they bleat still,
    In six months they'll know
    Just how much they blow,
    When Democrats take back the Hill.

    Posted by: Betsy Ross at June 6, 2006 02:58 PM


    There once was a man they called Dubya
    Who creates a great deal of trouble-ya
    From deficits to war
    Airhead Conservatives roar,
    "Oh Georgie, we certainly do Luv-ya!"

    Posted by: Yo Baby! at June 6, 2006 03:54 PM


    Meltdown has an orange tinted host
    O'Reilly is watched by the most
    Keith's viewers are none
    So take cheap shots and run
    He's all self-promotion and boast

    Posted by: Katie Couric at June 5, 2006 12:47 PM


    The moonbats inhabit his show
    Milbank, Franken, and Musto
    Their shit isn't funny
    Meltdown's losing money
    It's about time this loser should go

    Posted by: Paula Zahn at June 5, 2006 05:17 PM


    Krazy Keith must be mentally ill
    To explain his obsession with Bill
    We all knew he was kooky
    But now it's become spooky
    His shrink should prescribe him a pill

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 1, 2006 10:53 PM


    On O'Reilly he likes to rip
    On reality he's lost a grip
    He's one obsessive guy
    The cringe factor is high
    Stale cheap-shots must be his trip

    Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 2, 2006 10:22 AM


    Krazy Keith's finally gone off the deep end
    Who edits transcripts once they've hit "send"?
    Someone dropped the dime
    Olby does it all the time
    Is it Voxant he wants to defend?

    Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at June 2, 2006 11:03 AM

    There once was a lame ass broadcaster
    Who's show was a nightly disaster.
    Even though that Keith stunk
    Like the neighborhood skunk,
    He was loved by Rick Kaplan, his master.

    Posted by: Edgar Allan Poe at June 2, 2006 02:01 PM


    While his colleagues are dodging a shell
    Meltdown features puppets and Mel
    The cringe factor's high
    No need to ask why
    Keith belongs in a thick-padded cell

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at August 1, 2006 10:44 AM

    --------------------------------------------------

    In response to July posts

    The ratings are low for his station
    His show on the brink of cessation
    The big story's abroad
    Where's the journalist-fraud?
    On Leno, then it's time for vacation

    Posted by: merkle928 at July 31, 2006 08:29 AM


    While his colleagues are getting a story
    Olby basks in his own perceived glory
    He'll do the Tonight Show
    But to Beirut he won't go
    Another kook like Connie and Maury

    Posted by: Geraldo at July 25, 2006 05:51 PM

    Tick-tick-tick goes the cuckoo clock
    Down, down, down goes the GE stock
    Keith's in the Dead Pool
    He's been NBC's tool
    Somewhere for the moonbats to flock

    Posted by: Implosion Pending at July 25, 2006 02:19 PM

    It's the biggest news story of the year
    But Krazy Keith must be hiding in fear
    He's a no-show
    But he's booked on Jay Leno
    It's no wonder his colleagues all jeer

    Posted by: Al Jazeera at July 24, 2006 11:25 PM

    Dan Abrams has a master plan
    Trick viewers it's not Olbermann
    Keith as O'Reilly
    Will be rated more highly
    And he won't be in last place again

    Posted by: Much Thanks at July 24, 2006 12:15 PM

    Mr. Man-Tan pissed on the Jews
    Does anyone care at NBC "News"?
    According to Dan
    Keith is their man
    And they support the hate that he spews

    Posted by: For this Relief at July 24, 2006 12:24 PM

    Irena Briganti speaks truth
    A train wreck for Keith the Uncouth
    With his pending implosion
    And ratings erosion
    Keith's viewers all fit in a phone booth

    Posted by: Mafia don at July 22, 2006 09:35 AM

    While Lewinsky gave Billy-bob head
    They planned to make Americans dead
    Clinton's too busy
    The intern's all jizzy
    Bill did nothing. George did. Nuf sed

    Posted by: Cigar Afficionado at July 20, 2006 04:58 PM

    Say "Coultergeist" and hear Keith tee-hee
    That's sad. How old is he? Three?
    He's mean and he's vile
    His humor infantile
    The laughing stock of cable TV


    Posted by: merkle928 at July 18, 2006 11:24 PM

    NBC is the cable news tabloid
    Stuck to the bottom like a hemorrhoid
    Since when did the news
    Include Britney and Cruise?
    And a cable news host that's a schizoid?

    Posted by: Sigmund Freud at July 19, 2006 02:08 PM

    The Middle East is going up in a flame
    So Keith interviews Mr. Valerie Plame?
    That's a ratings disaster
    His rivals will plaster
    Last place and only Keith is to blame

    Posted by: Relative Obscurity at July 18, 2006 12:55 AM

    He's obsessed with Ann Coulter and Bill
    His whining is becoming more shrill
    Girl-fan appearing
    At his sanity hearing
    To proclaim that he's mentally ill

    Posted by: Dr. Phil at July 14, 2006 11:15 PM


    For KO to interview Ms. Plame
    Would mean a new plateau of fame
    Then with Joe he'd toke
    And do lines of coke
    All this, and Bush is to blame

    Posted by: BirdmanOfAlcatraz at July 15, 2006 01:03 AM

    Keef's been a "journalist" for 27 years
    What has he learned? Attack Britney Spears!
    All the time and the college
    To attain tabloid knowledge
    Keef should consider switching careers

    Posted by: Kevin Federline at July 16, 2006 09:32 AM

    On Meltdown where the ratings are low
    Keith rolls out spook Michael Musto
    The children should hide
    Creepy-weird bonafide
    One more reason the viewers don't show

    Posted by: Much Thanks at July 17, 2006 02:44 PM

    One hundred attacks, a new best
    Do you think Keef will give it a rest?
    His schtick is mundane
    His cheap shots in vain
    Dull wits are the product of incest

    Posted by: Geraldo O'Reilly at July 15, 2006 09:55 PM

    The reason I suck is so simple
    I'm nothing but a nasty ass pimple.
    It's talent I lack
    So I'm forced to attack.
    But Dean says I got a cute dimple!

    Posted by: Keith Olbermann at July 15, 2006 10:15 PM

    PETA should be onto this fool
    To beat a dead horse is just cruel
    The O'Rivalry's dead
    Please examine Keith's head
    He's stammering like a dull tool

    Posted by: merkle928 at July 16, 2006 12:55 AM


    Krazy Keith is last on the list
    From Ms. Grace and Ms. Zahn, the fist
    Keith's not in the race
    He's stuck in last place
    Hey Keith, are you getting the gist?

    Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:39 AM

    Keith brags about Meltdown's standing
    But in the cellar is where he is landing
    Such a miserable hack
    He's thirty games back
    An ass-kicking his rivals are handing

    Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:52 AM

    Keith attacks Ann Coulter every night
    I'd take Ann even odds in a fight
    She'd bring her gun
    Mr. Man-Tan would run
    Under his desk to tremble with fright

    Posted by: merkle928 at July 12, 2006 10:38 PM

    He's the host that's obnoxious and loud
    Cindy Sheehan is part of his crowd
    Keith defines moonbat
    He's wearing an ass hat
    His mother has got to be proud

    Posted by: Maureen Dowd at July 12, 2006 03:27 PM

    "For this relief..." spewed the orange-tinted man
    "...Much thanks" he drooled to his fan
    Then he dumped her thru email
    Someone died... a tall tale
    Another day, another dolar, another tan


    Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 03:50 PM

    On radio he sniffs sweaty jocks
    On tv he attacks women at Fox
    He's a journalistic hack
    His pot has a crack
    "For this relief, much thanks" when he stalks

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 09:54 PM

    In school was it math that Keith failed?
    Or should NBC's research be jailed?
    Their numbers are lies
    His logic defies
    Sanity based on comments he emailed

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 01:11 AM

    When he laughs, it truly is weird
    Oh yes! It's worse than you feared!
    You would cringe if you'd hear it
    So never get near it.
    If so, your brain will be seared.

    Posted by: Pat Fegan at July 12, 2006 01:21 AM

    If Meltdown's ratings are really so hot
    Why does it always show up in last spot?
    If up fifty percent
    Why not a dent?
    Another mistruth and Krazy Keith's caught


    Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 01:26 AM

    He gets bitch-slapped each night by Ms. Grace
    But he brags that he's in the race
    Keith keeps on lying
    But the sponsors aren't buying
    A show that resides in last place

    Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 09:40 AM

    Krazy Keith has forgotten one fact
    That GE stockholders own his contract
    If last place he's mired
    Then he will be fired
    They'll deep-six the pot that is cracked

    Posted by: Billy "O" at July 12, 2006 10:23 AM

    NBC says that Keith is their man
    Is he the guy with the apricot tan?
    He's obsessed with Ann's crotch
    The facts he will botch
    "For this relief" he's bangin' his fan

    Posted by: Adam Apple at July 10, 2006 09:12 AM

    Keith's life has become quite obscene
    Vulgar emails, "this relief", and John Dean
    Implosion imending
    The inevitable ending
    Is oblivion where he'll rarely be seen

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 04:48 PM


    Keith's hero is deformed baby Stewie
    For most of us it's all just pa-tooey
    His obsessions are quite clear
    But can't get his libido in gear
    So at odd times his shorts are all gooey

    Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 11, 2006 03:01 PM

    A disbarred lawyer is his expert on law
    So absurd it makes one guffaw
    Keith's guest is a crook
    Convicted felon hawks book
    It's ludicrous and slackens one's jaw

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 10, 2006 07:47 PM

    The left has their liberal thinkers
    In debate sound like liberal drinkers
    Keith is their man
    So is Cindy Sheehan
    News jockey and jack-ass with blinkers

    Posted by: Pat Day at July 9, 2006 08:57 AM

    There once was a chap on the tellie
    Who's show always upset my belly.
    I'd try pepto and such
    And my pillow I'd clutch
    All because I tuned into this nellie!

    Posted by: Rudyard Kipling at July 9, 2006 11:08 PM

    Come Monday Keith will be on his knees
    For John Dean, the felon, the sleaze
    Expect obscene attacks
    From a couple of hacks
    A disbarred legal expert? Oh please!

    Posted by: G. Gordon Liddy at July 8, 2006 12:01 AM

    Krazy Keith needs a sanity hearing
    Even his colleagues are jeering
    Keith's off his hinge
    The viewers will cringe
    At the snarky cheap shots and his sneering


    Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 09:30 PM

    Keith said "anal sex" and "fisting"
    Thats "news" he keeps on insisting
    His show's a disgrace
    No wonder last place
    NBC should pull Meltdown's listing


    Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 10:23 AM

    He's obsessed with Ann Coulter's crotch
    Will the cheap shots up ratings a notch?
    Keith can't have Ann
    So he'll be bangin' his fan
    "For this relief, much thanks", Olbywatch

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 11:13 AM


    There once was a man so psychotic
    Who's brain was rather chaotic.
    The way his mind works
    Is to host leftist jerks
    And repeat left wing lines so robotic.


    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 05:40 PM

    On tv, there's a goofy, orange clown
    Who's a coward of some world renown.
    Yet this silly, sad knave
    Still claims to be brave.
    In his ego, he's starting to drown.


    Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 09:13 PM

    At Fox News they're rolling in money
    At NBC the skies aren't so sunny
    Their cable shows suck
    Keith's run amuck
    GE shareholders don't find it too funny

    Posted by: GE Shareholder at July 5, 2006 07:20 PM


    Meltdown is now in the Dead Pool
    NBC will purge Keith like a loose stool
    He says ratings are hot
    So why still in last spot?
    His mom's a teacher but she sure raised a fool

    Posted by: Peter O' Toole at July 5, 2006 10:21 PM


    It's become a familiar refrain
    O'Donnell D Milbank the Brain
    Never is heard
    a discouraging word
    As Olbermann circles the drain

    Posted by: DavidBrock at July 5, 2006 11:07 PM


    The loons flew low over Manhattan
    Then an orange one tried to chase after 'em
    But while they flew west
    The eyebrowed one only flew left
    so embarassing, even they coulnd't watch him

    Posted by: CEB at July 6, 2006 10:39 AM

    He's the moonbat that spews the mistruth
    All his friends can fit in one phone booth
    Accusations toward Ann?
    And he's banging a fan?
    Total meltdown for Keith the Uncouth


    Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 12:22 PM


    He believes his words are prophetic
    But his emails prove he's pathetic
    Insipid and mean
    Correspondence obscene
    For sex he needs a prosthetic

    Posted by: Herpes man at July 3, 2006 11:32 PM


    His post-coitus comments are creepy
    "For relief, much thanks, now I'm sleepy"
    For groupies he's trolling
    Mr. Shakespeare is rolling
    Keithës "C" list but acts V.I.P.

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 4, 2006 09:16 AM


    He solicits his fans for sex
    But they say his unit won't flex
    In bed he's pathetic
    Just like an anesthetic
    His emails are where he will vex

    Posted by: Lex at July 3, 2006 09:31 AM


    Soliciting groupies for sex, how lame
    Now he's exposed like Valerie Plame
    At sex he will fail
    So he'll dump you by email
    Keith's seeking misfortune and flame

    Posted by: Moral Force at July 3, 2006 10:08 AM

    KO's "Moral Force" is a farce
    Thus viewership is quite sparse
    So he hits on a lady
    With tales of Malmedy
    And ends up flat on his arse

    Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 3, 2006 01:06 PM


    In response to August 2006 posts

    Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
    That claim makes his unibrow furrow
    Just a journalistic hack
    Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
    With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

    Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

    Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
    That claim makes his unibrow furrow
    Just a journalistic hack
    Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
    With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

    Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

    Bill's with the Secretary of State
    While Keith ponders Mel Gibson's fate
    And NBC wonders why
    Keith's ratings aren't high
    The ratings Keith likes to inflate

    Posted by: Dangerous Demagogue at August 1, 2006 11:38 PM

    [ed. note: we will continue to add new limericks each month]


    Posted by Robert Cox | Permalink | Comments (15) | | View blog reactions

    15 Comments

    Rob Cox is the man lefties hate
    Just reading him makes them irate
    They would scratch, scream, and claw
    Which would be their great flaw
    Let's all hope that these folks never mate.

    Man I read these and laughed all over again. When we get enough we should be able to get a book contract easy.

    "Tabloid" Keith believes he's really witty
    When in fact, his show's really sh!tty
    Cheap shots and name-calling
    Girl-fans that he's balling
    Real journalists observe with much pity

    He's in a tight race
    With Ms. Grace for last place
    While Edward R. Murrow
    Looks down from the heavens with sorrow
    Good night and good luck from this disgrace?

    He worked for a while in Boston
    Where they thought of firing him often
    Six months he did last
    Till the pink slip got passed
    To La the next stop he went hoppin

    Then on to KTLA TV
    Where again misunderstood he would be
    He fought with rival Fred Roggin
    Cheap shots, personal attacks never verfobbden
    Needless to say, the news went on without he

    Next stint was KCBS TV
    But angy and unhappy continued Opie
    Where Mr. Youngman called him a used car salesman
    And he once again became an also ran
    With dismal ratings again gone was he.

    Then on to ESPN
    As mature as a boy among men
    But between burnin briges
    An hittin subway car ridges
    not right, he left without many friends

    The last stop is MSNBC
    Where he seems to fit in perfectly
    Where truth doesn't matter
    And rating can't possibly get "badder"
    Soon to be like Hemingway's "Old man in the sea"


    I love the limericks. But I also like the posts from the characters Brother Nasrallah, Osama bin Laden, Satan, Mama Olbermann and Keith himself!

    This one goes out to Missy

    Keith came to me one night, crying
    He asked if his soul I'd be buying
    I said, " No need to fear,
    Just sign your name here
    Now you're working for me, so start lying."

    The left has its' heroes, you see
    And one has a show on tv.
    Keith's done all he could
    But the show's just no good,
    And America seems to agree.

    Thanks you guys! LOL!!!!

    i thought I would help you guys out. Johnny before the book deal your fellow wingnuts should get the structure right. that way you look less like morons. I thought a brief tutorial might help.

    the structure below is the most common for.
    5 lines.
    Lines 1, 2, and 5 have nine sylables and rhyme with each other.
    Lines 3 and 4 have six sylables and rhyme but not with 1, 2, and 5.
    Every third sylable is emphasized.
    Lines 3 and 4 are typically indented for clarity.

    The beat is illustrated as follows.

    low low HIGH low low HIGH low low HIGH
    low low HIGH low low HIGH low low HIGH
    down down UP down down UP
    down down UP down down UP
    low low HIGH low low HIGH low low HIGH


    Master this, and develope a sense of what is actually funny, and you are on your way!

    Wow, a lesson in writing from "anonymous", a guy so famous he doesn't even have a name!

    And he's wrong to boot. 1, 2, and 5 do not have to have 9 syllables. They can have 8 (the first one is optional, as is the first one on lines 3 and 4).

    Wow a lesson from johnny Dollar a man so stupid that he can't read. The above structure given is the most common for 5 lines I thought i would give it so you would have something to model.

    The dollar man drives the loons nuts
    For he dares criticize the orange putz.
    You can hear the sad cries
    As they plot his demise
    Away in their tin foil huts.

    How does that limerick grab ya, Keith? Dumbass.

    HAHAHAHA look it's Pat!! Nice post monkey boy! HAHA

    Anonymous wrote: "the structure below is the most common for.
    5 lines.
    Lines 1, 2, and 5 have nine sylables and rhyme with each other.
    Lines 3 and 4 have six sylables and rhyme but not with 1, 2, and 5. "

    A limerick's not strictly defined
    By the syllables that you will find
    It's tapping your feet
    To the poetic beat
    And the lyric should be unrefined

    Anonymous, for the kind words in your post, much thanks.