There once was an Olbermann blog
Where many a person would flog
Olby's fans must admit
We righties have wit
When roasting their hero who's clogged

I've gathered the Olbywatch prose
For all to enjoy I suppose
In one central place
To mock Olby's face
And awaken olbyloons who doze

I've fancied the poems of the post
Mocking our dear Countdown host
Olbywatch blog is where
You can read all that are there
And join in the Olbermann roast

We welcome all to enter do dare
To enjoy the limericks we'll share
Roasting Olbly the man
With the orange-tinged tan
But Olbyloons we beg to beware

Olbermann Limericks

In response to March 2006 posts:

There once was a man named Olbermann
Who fancied himself as a Doberman.
He had his own show
Oh! The hot air he'd blow
Unwatchable? Yes, for a Soberman

There once was a man named Keith
Who when angry would show his teeth.
Bill O'Reilly he hated,
And taunted and baited.
A sewer he lived underneath.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 1, 2006 12:51 AM

In celebrating Meltdown's pending cancellation...

There once was crazy man Keith
For him, there was no beneath
He'd sunken so low
They cancelled his show
On Meltdown there now hangs a wreath

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 1, 2006 04:36 PM

Orange is the hue of the face
Of the man whose show's in last place
But he gained no appeal
Cause the tan wasn't real
Worse yet was his show--a disgrace

The Hour of Spin's full of chatter
From libs as mad as a hatter
Distortions and lies
Are common as flies
To Olby the truth doesn't matter

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 08:41 AM

Haiku for Olby

"Apricot Man" -- variations on a theme

Unnatural hue
Man tan burns the soul
Watch it spin

Sour apricot
Pit of pure evil
Poison skin

"Chamelion"

Lizard basking
Can you turn orange?
Yes indeed!

"Spin Me"

Countdown hits
Orange kaleidoscopic confusion
Room spins

Posted by: KfK at April 2, 2006 01:05 PM

The tan's not a fake was the claim
From Olby, the spinner of fame
But he appeared on the tube
With a very strange hue
Like a giant orange facial stain

The guest on the show named Dean
Was a felon with a record unclean
He raved and he ranted
With views that were slanted
Such hypocrisy rarely seen

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 02:44 PM

I'm having all the fun so I want the OlbermannWatch community to join in and help me with my latest limerick:

Olby was once more obssessed
With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
The ratings came in
He got his ass kicked again
__________________________________ .

Finish the last line for me! Bonus points if you can work in something that mentions "man tan"

Posted by: hank at April 2, 2006 10:24 PM

Olby was once more obssessed
With O'Reilly whom he thought was a pest
The ratings came in
He got his ass kicked again
Surprise, Dana Millbank's the guest!

O.K, that was too easy.

Posted by: ObserverDan at April 3, 2006 12:25 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
It's no wonder the ratings are low
Olby's stuck in last spot
With skin apricot
Meltdown's host has a slight orange glow

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 3, 2006 04:08 PM

There once was a show that count down
Hosted by a pumpkin-hued clown
He lost the ratings race
Even bitch-slapped by Ms. Grace
The orange one was forced to leave town

Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 04:55 PM
There once was an orange-tinted ass
That spewed venom and possessed little class
O'Reilly he hated
And daily he baited
Was the man-tan so he could pass?

Posted by: Joe Torre at April 4, 2006 08:25 AM

--------------------------------------------------
In response to April 2006 posts

There once was " Flight 93"
That the "critics" said was too soon to see.
But is that the real reason?
No, it's because election season
Is here. From the Dems we shall flee!

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 10:29 PM

There once was a tv hack
On his show would be quack after quack.
His guests would come on
And distort, lie, and con
Because truth, indeed, they did lack.

Hey Keith Olbermann, it's time to play the national anthem and sign off....forever. Your show is done.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 12:44 AM

With O'Reilly the kook is obsessed
Spews venom like a demon possessed
Meltdown has no taste
Of bandwidth, a waste
Geraldo would be his last guest

Posted by: Bill Gates at April 29, 2006 09:49 AM

To O'Reilly he likes to give flak
But compared, he's just a hack
For a moment stop hating
And look at the rating
Olby's taking it right up the crack

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at April 29, 2006 10:08 AM

He's been found in the fetal position
That's bizarre no matter what your condition
Under his desk he was quivering
Uncontrollably shivering
For Keith, an occupational tradition

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 29, 2006 11:19 AM

There once was a man named Rush
Who's ratings made the loony lefties blush.
But one day they got their chance
To get rid of him and dance
But they failed and all you hear now is a hush.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 29, 2006 10:29 PM

There once was show that count down
With a host that resembled a clown
With his size 14 shoe
And apricot hue
"Krusty" Keith was scorned in each town

Posted by: Anonymous at May 1, 2006 12:32 AM

Olby an obnoxious fellow
Had the hue of a fruity tangelo
All the guests that you see
With Olby agree
Which shows his true colors--yellow!

Posted by: hank at May 1, 2006 09:48 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Urine is yellow
Keith Olbermann is too.

There once was a man named Kaplan
And he thought he knew what was happnin'.
So he hired this dude
Who was crass, dumb, crude
And his ratings were a pile of nothin'.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 07:42 PM

The host in the eight o'clock slot
Has a face with a hue apricot
The narcissistic tan
Is pure Olbermann
It's sad when that's all that you've got

Posted by: Paris Hilton at April 27, 2006 07:54 PM

There once was a man named blucaller
Who, at conservatives, would always holler.
He'd lose his composure
With overexposure
On this site. Dude, wear a shockcollar!

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:35 PM

There once were these folks called liberals
Who would always tell lies and fiberals.
Oh, their talk was so sillary
Like "Let's all vote for hillary"
That you'd laugh 'till you'd break your riberals.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 12:43 PM

Fact-checker is not on the staff
So each night we all get to laugh
NBC spews it's lies
Through Keith's beady eyes
Meltdown's a journalistic gaffe

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 28, 2006 01:55 PM

There once was a little game
Played by those like demonstrably lame.
They would wine and they'd pout
They believed they had clout.
And would yearn to gain left-wing fame.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 28, 2006 03:05 PM

Keith's thousands of fans adore him,
You right-wing loonies abhor him,
His outstanding prose
Makes you jealous I suppose
So you pick on him ad nauseum.

Posted by: SherryStarr at May 1, 2006 10:19 PM

In this world there are things called lies
Which good folks detest and despise.
But there are folks on the left
Who are completely bereft
Of ideas. But is that a suprise.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 10:42 PM

A moonbat poster named Jill
Gets ever loonier still
Hates Bush with a passion
Cause it's the lib fashion
Thinks the best prez was Bill

Posted by: hank at April 27, 2006 12:03 AM

There once was a host with no life
With a man named Bill he would strife
Whose cage he would rattle
But always last in their battle
Turn your back and in goes his knife

Posted by: Tony Snow at April 27, 2006 09:41 AM

His fans think his words are prothetic
The fact is his show is pathetic
He's just a moonbat lib
He likens himself glib
Meltdown works like an anesthetic

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 27, 2006 10:31 AM

Meltdown is pawned off as a "news show"
NBC has it's head in the Snow
The beady-eyed host
In the ratings, he's toast
So roll out creep Michael Musto

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 27, 2006 03:42 PM

There once lived a moonbat named Keith
"He's crazy" his shrink did bequeath
His "news show" is lame
Last in the ratings game
Nancy Grace he falls way beneath

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 26, 2006 09:06 AM

There once was a man (?) name blucaller
Who did nasty things for only a dollar.
He'd watch Keith at 8
And shout " Ain't he great!"
To the T.V. he'd say " YO Yo Keith, holler!"

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 26, 2006 08:17 PM

His friends include kook Charlie Sheen
Chuck's 9/11 comments were mean
Opened mouth and he shat
Another crazy moonbat
Like chief left-wing loon Howard Dean

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 25, 2006 11:06 AM

He scrapes out his life as a talker
In the lens he stares like a gawker
Quite a strange creature
He tracked down his teacher
His shrink diagnosed him a stalker

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 25, 2006 11:47 AM

There once lived a moonbat called Frick
Frack was his boyfriend Dan Patrick
Frick worshiped Frack
For the hole in his crack
Add Michael Musto, it's a hat trick

Posted by: Moe Rocca at April 22, 2006 01:11 PM

His distortions of fact make one cringe
It's beyond the lunatic fringe
The venom he spews
He refers to as "news"
His shrink says he'll likely unhinge

Posted by: Wikipedia Blogger at April 22, 2006 11:35 AM

There once was an arrogant jerk
Who had a show on a cable network.
He would host Tavis Smiley
Attack Bill O'Reilly
And his ratings? Near the bottom, they'd lurk.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 24, 2006 01:32 PM

His friends include loon Charlie Sheen
I've heard that 'ole Chuck can't come clean
Olby's cohorts are whack
Keith's just a left-wing hack
A moonbat that's crazier than Dean

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 24, 2006 01:44 PM

There once was a man from Secaucus
Whose show was rowdy and raucous.
But the truth was much bleaker
For the left wing truth seeker
His show was completely obnoxious.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 12:12 AM

There once was a man with no gonads
Who would parrot all the left wing attack ads.
To nobody's surprise,
He would spew out his lies,
For John Dean, he would dust off the knee pads.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 22, 2006 01:24 AM

NBC claims it's a "news show"
That claim is false, we all know
Meltdown's parade of loons
Sing the same worn-out tunes
To the host with the curious glow

Posted by: Phil Donahue at April 22, 2006 10:37 AM

There once was a host who talked trash
O'Reilly and Bush he would bash
Always affronting
But never confronting
He liked to name-call and then dash

Posted by: Gerlado Rivera at April 21, 2006 10:52 AM

The fans of KO are moonbats
Some know how to read... congrats
Only a tool
Would worship this fool
That's why Olby's fans wear ass hats

Posted by: Barbara Bush at April 21, 2006 03:17 PM

I see "Barbara Bush" ain't a fan;
She's free to opine, if she can.
There's just one odd thing
About the right wing--
Why can't you conservatives scan?

Posted by: sylvia at April 21, 2006 10:02 PM

I'm new to this online dispute,
And know not where the problems took root
Between "Johnny Dollar"
And Mr. "Blucaller"
But I think their bickering's cute.

Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:01 AM

Puck says if the Olbermann show
Had more Keith and less video
The ratings would rise!
I'm left to surmise
He must be a fan of KO. . .

Posted by: sylvia at April 22, 2006 03:34 AM

Statements of fact they are few
From the boy with the apricot hue
"News Show" claims NBC
That's a joke, journalistically
Since when did news have to be true?

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at April 19, 2006 07:26 PM
His face has an orange-hued tinge
His comments make sane people cringe
He's not thought of too highly
By his arch-rival O'Reilly
The host of Meltdown's off his hinge

Posted by: Katie Couric at April 19, 2006 03:56 PM

The rantings of a loon named Frost
Makes me think he's hitting the sauce
He claims "persecution"
And wants "revolution"
And you wonder why libs are so lost?

Posted by: hank at April 19, 2006 04:04 PM

The host of Meltdown's insane
He whacked his head on the train
Now his thinking ain't right
Attacks women for spite
He's hiding under his desk again

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 18, 2006 09:30 AM

His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
He can't hold a job
Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:51 AM

His curious orange color is fading
The same can be said for his rating
Most find him deplorable
Extremely abhorable
Red are the states he is hating

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 15, 2006 10:06 AM

His butt-buddy in sports is Dan Patrick
Fox, CNN, NBC... that's a hat trick
He can't hold a job
Cuz he's blowing Dan's knob
Keith needs more therapy, he's sick

Posted by: Danica Patrick at April 16, 2006 09:38 AM

A double Olby limerick for Easter:

Olby went one day to his shrink
And cried: "No cares what I think!"
"My ratings are down
They think I'm a clown,
It's enough to make a man drink!"

Olby was soon past his trial
And went into deep denial
"I'm really quite good,
I'm misunderstood"
"It's time to spew moonbat bile!"

Posted by: hank at April 16, 2006 08:22 PM

There once was a libby named Jack
Who couldn\'t be more than a hack
Try as he might
Jack couldn\'t be right
But he insists on keep coming back!

Posted by: Anonymous at April 19, 2006 06:37 PM

Olby's exposed as a loon
And a liar, fraud, and buffoon.
He brings up the rear
In the ratings each year
Which makes his ass kissers fume.

Posted by: hank at April 12, 2006 11:12 PM

With guests like Dana Milbank
Olby's ratings bottom the tank
Keith's spirit is mean
His motives unclean
Meltdown perpetuates last in rank

Posted by: jack at April 13, 2006 01:25 AM

Olby says "no" to dissent
Only views of a liberal bent
Are found on his show
With ratings so low
His audience meets in a tent.

Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 12:58 PM

The ratings for Olby went south
He was somewhat down in the mouth
But it only got worse
The dreaded curse!
He's losing to Zahn in a rout!

Posted by: hank at April 13, 2006 04:09 PM

Yes Puck, He's an itellectual giant!
He's surpassed Aristotle in thought and reasoning!
He's put Einstein to shame.
What an honor to have a genius like that on this board!
We should be honored!

Posted by: O'Reilly Rules at April 12, 2006 08:21 PM

Fact-checker is not in the credit
It's wrong? We'll air it, not edit.
With an hour to fill
And no journalistic skill
Insert Rocaa or Musto... forget it.

Posted by: Katie Couric at April 6, 2006 09:16 AM

He's under his desk in the fetal position
"He's a kook" if you ask his physician
His docs are head-shrinking
To help alter his thinking
Prozac would help his present condition

Posted by: Former ESPN Staff at April 6, 2006 03:09 PM

There once lived a host and a fool
From both sides of his mouth did he drool
Another day, another dolor
For he of curious color
Krazy Keith... the left-wing tool

Posted by: Countdown Staff at April 5, 2006 12:41 PM

The loonies think Olby's a sage
And react with hysterical rage
When critics reveal
The facts he conceals
And the tan of a color so strange

Posted by: hank at April 5, 2006 05:21 PM

The left-wing hysteria spews nightly
From a host whose bulb shines not-so-brightly
Olby needs a new shrink
That's what his staff seems to think
Serious journalists scorn the kook rightly

Posted by: Monica Novotny at April 4, 2006 11:11 PM

Posters from states that are blue
Try to aid their man of orange hue
They sputter and grope
And search for some hope
But know his demise is due.

Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 08:18 PM

The libs were mighty incensed
When this site showed Olby was dense.
No guests except libs
With thier lies and fibs
And other assorted nonsense.

Posted by: hank at April 4, 2006 11:16 PM

There once were these liberal house fraus
Who would gather for their liberal pow-wows.
They'd never be late
So they'd tune in at 8
For the man with those crazy, dark eyebrows.

How disappointed do you think Olby was when he found out what the "chasing tail" segment really was.?

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at April 4, 2006 12:39 AM

To mankind Olby is a disgrace
With attacks on Mrs. Bush and Ms. Grace
Only a cowardly boy
Would attack women for joy
Dick saw orange but shot the wrong face

Posted by: Jack at April 4, 2006 10:25 AM

There once was a far left wing post
That implied on my balls I would choke
she's bound to have doubts
when balls with such clout
are even to big for her throat

That would be a violent and empty post. It is a good thing that I'm above that:)

Posted by: Dave at April 4, 2006 01:25 PM

The guests provide no opposition
On the nightly Meltdown transmission
Keith banged his head
Now his brain must be dead
He's under his desk in the fetal position

Posted by: Billy "O" at April 4, 2006 06:45 PM

There once was a far left-wing poster
Olby facts would trump Bill he dare boasted
Ironic he lacks
the aforementioned facts
if he tried he'd get thoroughly roasted

Posted by: Dave at April 3, 2006 05:20 PM

The host of Countdown, he is gutless
Name-calls, then hides like the nutless
If he had any stones
He'd receive broken bones
And cable TV would have one putz less

Posted by: Jack at April 3, 2006 06:32 PM

Now Olby's attacking Lance Armstrong
On so many levels that's just wrong
Lance, he is great
Keith's filled with hate
Twisted dislikes are his swan song

Posted by: Sheryl Crow at June 1, 2006 09:55 AM

Krazy Keith is the news laughing stock
Countdown's the proverbial crock
Keith thinks he's funny
But his show's losing money
To rivals the sponsors will flock

Posted by: Ted Baxter at June 1, 2006 11:58 AM
---------------------------------------------------

In response to May Posts

If his show was a horse, it'd be shot.
If his show was a tooth, it'd have rot.
There's no way it will be swimmin'
With some hot bowlegged women.
Of the ladies, rest assured, Countdown has naught.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:20 AM

He's in bed with his butt-buddy Dan
Two prima donnas share an orange tan
Narcissistic and vain
Viewed with total disdain
More makeup and rouge... You da man!

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 31, 2006 08:37 AM

He's the host that clear thinkers despise
But the moonbats can't see through his lies
If his mouth is going
The mistruths are flowing
Meltdown's where truth wears a disguise

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 31, 2006 08:54 AM

There once was a show with one side
And its' ratings continued to slide.
Now a smart host would say,
" Let's have both sides in play."
But the brain of THIS host appears fried.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 11:31 AM

Keith was heard to exclaim,
" How'd I get so damn lame?
And it's too late to change
My personna so strange.
And O'Reilly kicks my ass in this game."

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 31, 2006 12:19 PM

He's the host who resides in last place
Ass kicked by O'Reilly and Grace
No amount of lying
Can deny Meltdown is dying
Krazy Keith thinks he's still in the race

Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at May 31, 2006 03:46 PM

Meltdown is the eight o'clock snore
Every night it's the same... what a bore
Attack Bush, Bill, and Pitt
Keep shoveling more shit
Krazy Keith is just NBC's whore

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 30, 2006 09:43 AM

Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
All America knows this fact, even his mom.
But the day will soon be here
When Countdown is outta here.
Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 05:05 PM

Keith's wacky, little show is such a bomb
All America knows this fact, even his mom.
But the day will soon be here
When Countdown is outta here.
Let's just hope and pray that Krazy Keith stays calm.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 30, 2006 07:33 PM

Keith needed his huge eyebrows plucked,
And it was then Kaplan knew he was fucked.
So out to sea they did slip
On their rudderless ship.
Good God, how that whole network sucked.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 30, 2006 11:23 PM

" I think I've got it " Keith said one night, very wryly
With a face that one would say was rather smiley.
So he sold his soul to Satan
Hoping this would save his bacon.
But even Satan knows Keith can't beat Bill O'Reilly.

Keith just watches as his ratings drop and drop
Now his loony fans say our poetry must stop.
Well pardon me, friends, if I tell
All these loons to go to hell.
It's not our fault that Keith's lame show is such a flop.

Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Sunkist is orange
Keith Olbermann is too.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 27, 2006 11:57 AM

Every night it's an hour of spin
The guests are the host's moonbat kin
There's no opposing views
But they call it the "news"
Meltdown is an hour of sin

Posted by: Pat Robertson at May 28, 2006 09:36 AM

Pat Robertson, you speak the truth
Of that left wing dumbass, so uncouth.
For he's a wuss and a knave
To his lies, he's a slave.
But he thinks he's this brave super sleuth.

Posted by: Jerry Falwell at May 28, 2006 01:47 PM

He's the host that sane folks despise
The guests they will echo his lies
He's the industry joke
A pathetic, gutless bloke
Attacking colleagues is not very wise

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 29, 2006 09:23 AM

Dear leftists, there's no place to hide.
A limerick will not be denied.
You can whine, hiss, and cry
And wish that you' die.
Or just sit back and take in the ride.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 29, 2006 04:01 PM

Krazy Keith is truly a loser
To like his show, one must be a boozer.
For no sane man can stand
One who's so damned man tanned
Plus Countdown can be quite the snoozer.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:15 PM

Meltdown's a predictable show
Each night he attacks Mr. O
Krazy Keith's discontent
Is a boring non-event
It's no wonder the ratings are low

Posted by: Brian Unger at May 25, 2006 11:53 PM

He's the host that most seem to hate
Each night a one-sided debate
Meltdown is mind rot
Keith's face... apricot
Opposing views make his ego deflate

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 26, 2006 08:58 AM

He's the beady-eyed loon with no class
His face looks like Barbaro's ass
Krazy Keith needs some email
Regarding: cute ponytail
Looks like Barbaro's got a bad case of gas

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 25, 2006 06:03 PM

With guests like Dana Milbank
The ratings have bottomed the tank
The guests are all loon
Cancellation will be soon
Cuz Meltdown is smelling quite rank

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 25, 2006 09:30 AM

There once was a woman named Starr
Who found OW poets sub-par
She complained in a huff
You boys are too rough
Keith deserves better by far

Posted by: bill at May 25, 2006 09:47 AM

The moonbats inhabit his show
It's no wonder the ratings are low
The kooks will come out
To hear Keith rant and pout
And tell lies that habitually flow

Posted by: 25-54 demographic at May 24, 2006 09:42 AM

Meltdown is journalistically horrible
The host is sophomoric and deplorable
The guests are pure loon
That echo Keith's tune
Most find it extremely abhorrable

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 24, 2006 11:01 AM

Keith having a show is incomprehensible
And his bias is indefenseble.
But that didn't stop the true believers,
The liars and the deceivers,
Who themselves were reprehensible.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 11:35 AM

He's the beady-eyed host with a man-tan
His viewers include about one fan
His show's not rated highly
Nightly bitch-slapped by O'Reilly
Spewing lies is "pulling an Olbermann"

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 24, 2006 11:55 AM

Keith having a show is incomprehensible
And his bias is indefenseble.
But that didn't stop the true believers,
The liars and the deceivers,
Who themselves were reprehensible.

Oh man that sucked. P-Hew!

Gonna spray some lysol at my screen.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:03 PM

Sean Hannity Sucked on my balls.
and bill o'reilly still plays with his dolls.
but that's not as bad,
As Lou Dobbs licking his dad,
while cry'n bout immigrantion laws

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 12:15 PM

There once was a nameless poster
Who's life was a sad roller coaster.
He would troll on this site,
Scream and howl in sheer fright.
Just another gutless, loony left boaster.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 02:52 PM

There once was a dork named Fegan
whose mom fucked and sucked Ronald Reagan
she said "What an honor and Delight
Mr. president my Rear end is so tight
Please give me a golden shower I'm beggin'
Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:14 PM

In Secacus, there's no need to revel
In a show that can't reach a nice level.
So for those who still care
Why his show's on the air
It's quite clear that he's owned by the devil.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:17 PM

There once was a foul mouthed lefty
Who was full of shit, and therefore quite hefty.
He'd watch Keith every night
Then crap his pants with delight.
But his weekends were not quite as zesty.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 03:31 PM

Patrick was caught by pimp
Who beat him and gave him a limp
Oh please Please sir let me be.
And I'll you pay a handsome fee.
But he was beaten and re-named the gimp

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 03:54 PM

There once was a man called Anon
Who thought he could outsmart Fegan
But Patrick was quicker
Anon a bullshitter
"Anon",said Patrick,"be gone"

Posted by: bill at May 24, 2006 04:24 PM

The once was a man name bill
Who had absolutely no skill
his post was so bad
I wish his momma had had.
an abortion causing little pill

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 04:46 PM

There once was a no name turd
Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
He thought his posts were top drawer
But instead were quite poor.
'Cause with him, reality's blurred

Countdown is on life support
" No hope of recovery " says the report.
But Kaplan won't pull the plug
On the man with the orange mug.
Keith remains his network's big wort.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 06:27 PM

"There once was a no name turd
Who had the marks of a left wing nerd.
He thought his posts were top drawer
But instead were quite poor.
'Cause with him, reality's blurred"

there once was a man who couldn't rhyme.
he was quite the puke and a slime.
he tried to ryhme drawer with poor
he did this because he's a boor.
he should quit and become a mime.

Countdown is on life support
" No hope of recovery " says the report.
But Kaplan won't pull the plug
On the man with the orange mug.
Keith remains his network's big wort.
Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2006 08:06 PM

Poor Keith had a creepy, weird stalker
Who fancied himself the smooth talker.
He'd send a fragrant bouquet
Every other Wednesday
Then hide naked and aroused in Keith's locker.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:24 PM

The left has sent Keith on a quest.
It's too bad that he's opposite the best.
For, you see, on Fox News
Where they air all the views
Mr. Bill kicks Keith's arse with great zest.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 24, 2006 10:56 PM

Anonymous and Keith were in love
So sweet! Like that of a dove.
For each other they'd reach
Then take walks on the beach.
It was truly the work from above.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 25, 2006 11:10 AM

He's the infamous, deplorable host
The blue-blogs will take down his post
Journalistically speaking
Krazy Keith is reeking
In the ratings he smells like burnt toast

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 23, 2006 10:01 AM
NBC is the news laughing stock
The viewers will scoff, jeer, and mock
The cuts, pastes, and spews
That they call the news
Is loon bait and the moonbats will flock

Posted by: Don Imus at May 23, 2006 11:53 AM

The host says he's mentally ill
And opposing viewpoints are nil
His ratings are low
Because people know
His fact free stories are shrill

Posted by: hank at May 23, 2006 11:56 AM

He roots for the team in pin stripes
Whose fans are bandwagon butt-wipes
Meltdown's circling the drain
But Keith's at the game
With a guest loon to spew moonbat gripes

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 22, 2006 09:16 AM

My boss has his head up his ass
Attacks on colleagues? No class
The staff thinks he's a fool
But he's NBC's tool
Unrefined, insensitive, and crass

Posted by: Monica Novotny at May 22, 2006 09:39 AM

It's the same freakin' show every night
Evidently, the host ain't too bright
Predictable and boring
With the viewers, not scoring
The ratings track the show's sorry plight

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 19, 2006 09:32 AM

Does NBC have a functioning brain?
Cuz Meltdown is circling the drain
The sponsors aren't buying
Cuz Keith can't quit lying
Most view him with total disdain

Posted by: Tony Snow at May 17, 2006 10:09 AM

The boy from Secaucus is weird
With colleagues he's not too endeared
He bonked his head on the train
Now most think he's insane
Just a coward that's not to be feared

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 15, 2006 11:43 AM

His obsession with men is bizarre
The infatuation has gone way too far
Bill O'Reilly, Tom Cruise
And Rush Limbaugh are "news"
And in Olbyland Keith is the star

Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 15, 2006 11:58 AM

His staff thinks he's mentally ill
Try Prozac, it comes in a pill
His sibling is nuts
So he's not just a putz
Psychiatrists just can't get their fill

Posted by: Dan Patrick at May 15, 2006 02:15 PM

The network really needed a pawn
Insert Meltdown with host demon spawn
Krazy Keith's such a tool
I almost pity the fool
His show is the same every night (insert yawn)

Posted by: Rita Cosby at May 12, 2006 12:40 AM

He blurted out 200th visit
But the facts say two, which is it?
His lies are quite tangled
His reputation is mangled
If Meltdown were cancelled, who'd miss it?

Posted by: Jack Abramoff at May 10, 2006 10:46 PM

Krazy Keith would get hopping mad
And his fans felt awfully sad.
'Cause his big, bold adventure
Was like an old man's gross denture:
Very slimy, and smelling real bad.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 10, 2006 11:12 PM

There once was a Mann named Olber,
Who found it quite hard to stay sober.
So he dropped to his knees,
And said "pretty please,"
To the alien anal prober.

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at May 11, 2006 12:35 AM

The advertisers aren't buying
Last place is where Meltdown is vying
Commercials must be sold
So untruths will be told
If Keith's lips are moving, he's lying

Posted by: The Ratings Police at May 11, 2006 09:00 AM

There once was a kook Krazy Keith
Each night he'd lie through his teeth
He talked a lot of smack
The proverbial lying sack
So low, there was no beneath

Posted by: Barry Bonds at May 11, 2006 09:23 AM

Meltdown is the industry joke
On competitor's dust it does choke
Journalistically bad
The host is a cad
His rivals he tries to provoke

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 11, 2006 10:02 AM

In the ratings he just can't keep pace
Bitch-slapped every night by Ms. Grace
So the numbers he'll skew
And more lies he will spew
But alas, he's stuck in last place

Posted by: Paula Zahn at May 11, 2006 11:21 AM

One morning they find they are fu@#ed,
Their hero-in-chief: how he's sucked!
They search high and low,
to diffuse failure's glow,
so in Keith a straw man they construct.

Posted by: Lefty McGee at May 11, 2006 12:23 PM

Keith and his fans are one.
Their agenda and ideas are done.
So let's give them a hand
For their Custer like stand.
Looking back, they had a nice run.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 11, 2006 01:06 PM

The GE stockholders are mad as hell
Meltdown's in last and the ads won't sell
NBC's a big joke
For employing a bloke
Whose ethics emit a bad smell

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 10, 2006 10:03 AM

The network is called NBC
It's run by the goons at GE
If the propaganda it spews
Is called Nightly News
Then Countdown defines insanity

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at May 10, 2006 10:49 AM

Spewing his bile quite freely
Watching Olby was making me sleepy
He's last in his slot
'Cause his content is rot
And often I find it quite creepy

Posted by: hank at May 10, 2006 05:26 PM

Meltdown's in the eight o'clock slot
Intelligent writing it's not
Sophomoric at best
More strip clubs, more chest!
Does a child run Keith's looney lot?

Posted by: Bart Simpson at May 10, 2006 05:42 PM

Each night it's the same song and dance
The attacks, the lies, and the rants
His obsession with Bill
Is disturbing and shrill
Another season? He won't stand a chance

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 9, 2006 09:05 AM

There once was a show in last place
The host simply couldn't keep pace
Pimp-slapped by the rest
The pathetic little pest
Spewed hate from his orange-tinted face

Posted by: Nancy Grace at May 9, 2006 11:57 AM

A song for our orange faced friend and his bosses. Sing along at http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/oompa.htm:

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get when your host is a brat
Pouting and shouting about this and that
Making up stories and hiding in shame
You know exactly who's to blame (BWA BWA)

THE EXEC-U-TIVE PRO-DU-CER

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me

What do you get from Olby TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or can you just not bear to look?

You'll get no...you'll get no...you'll get no commercials

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
If you're not dopey, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Unlike Olby the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do

Posted by: KfK at May 9, 2006 01:23 PM

He's the beady-eyed kook on cable
His guests from a moonbat stable
It's like a cartoon
An orange-tinted loon
Playing host that's mentally unstable

Posted by: Dr. Phil at May 9, 2006 02:05 PM

"F you mother f-er" to quote
It's part of the "news" that he wrote
Meltdown's a disgrace
No wonder last place
Hear the orange one pathetically gloat

Posted by: Samuel L. Jackson at May 6, 2006 09:24 AM

there once was a man named Jack Frost
Who, when posting, much energy did exaust.
He thought he was money
And cool, smooth and funny.
But truth is, he appeared to be lost.

To the detractors of limericks: Accept them before they destroy you.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 06:27 PM

People spoke out in force
And joined our nation's discourse.
But one man disagreed
"It adds nothing" he'd plead.
He's, indeed, the backside of a horse.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 6, 2006 09:43 PM

The orange one sings the nightly blues
Attacks on O'Reilly, Bush, and Cruise
It's become quite boring
In the ratings, not scoring
Can NBC really call this crap "news"?

Posted by: Family Guy at May 8, 2006 08:43 AM

Poor Keith is so darn Krazy
Either that or he's very lazy.
For he seems out to lunch
And his show has no punch.
On what's truth, he appears to be hazy.

Krazy Keith was jealous of Fox
At their building he was seen throwing rocks.
He would shout " They love Bush,
An agenda they push.
How can people tune in by the flocks? "
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 8, 2006 06:36 PM

Keith Olbermann talked a big game
About Rove outing Valerie Plame.
But not one shred of proof
Was procured by this goof.
So I guess that Fox News is to blame.

There once was a man with no balls
Who answered the loony left's calls.
He began a crusade
To come to its' aid
By sticking pins in George Bush voodoo dolls.

One of Krazy Keith's least favorite sites
Was a blog of a thousand delights.
Called " Olbermann Watch "
It exposed the huge blotch
That could never reach O'Reilly's heights.

There once was a spineless coward
Who made the lefties feel empowered.
For he was the man
With the sexy orange tan
On whom all their adoration was showered.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 4, 2006 10:53 PM

The stockholders are really pissed
They want the orange one dismissed
Meltdown's bleeding money
They don't think that's funny
In the ratings he's last on the list

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 5, 2006 10:10 AM

The lies they flow like a faucet
NBC should take Meltdown and toss it
The show Keith created
Resembles something masturbated
Ethics draw the line and he crossed it

Posted by: Peter North at May 5, 2006 12:50 PM

Why is it so darn easy
To poke fun at one so sleazy.
It's because no dissent
Is allowed to present
Other views, for it makes the host queasy.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 5, 2006 01:43 PM

His rivals he glibly will slight
When confronted he hides with much fright
Meltdown is pure bunk
The host is a punk
He likes to talk smack but won't fight

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at May 4, 2006 09:26 AM

The personal attack he does savor
But whines when they return favor
The orange hypocrite
Is so full of sh!t
All journalist rights he should waiver

Posted by: Dan Rather at May 4, 2006 01:42 PM

There once was a man who was crass
Who the loony left tuned in en masse.
But as much as they tried
The show nightly died.
As a real show, it never could pass.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 11:21 PM

Each night he sings the same worn-out tune
Bash Bush, O'Reilly, and Cruise... what a loon
Meltdown is predictable
The host is despicable
His show will be cancelled by June

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 3, 2006 09:32 AM

His shrink says he's mad as two hatters
He lift and reads Media Matters
On his show the lies will spew
In his mouth, size 14 shoe
Countdown is the show where crap splatters

Posted by: Katie Couric at May 3, 2006 11:47 AM

NBC has an hour to fill
But the host has no journalistic skill
So that facts he shall spin
"Lift and read" from his kin
And lose nightly to arch-rival Bill

Posted by: Uberloon at May 2, 2006 12:04 PM

The weirdest thing that I've seen
Is this man who's half man, half tangerine.
He has the appeal of a skunk
And spews nothing but bunk.
No truth from his show one can glean.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 1, 2006 11:43 PM

The parade of moonbats march nightly
For the host whose orange face shines brightly
The load of crap that he spews
NBC claims as news
The ratings prove Meltdown unsightly

Posted by: Billy "O" at May 2, 2006 10:12 AM

There was a show with a host, who
Concerning Democrat scandals said boo.
For in his orange universe
Which was oh so perverse,
He concocted his Bush-hating brew.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 03:42 PM

There once was a man with no nuts
Who acted, you'll admit, like a putz.
He wished folks take him serious
A request too delirious
For the man-tool displayed zero guts.
Posted by: Patrick Fegan at May 2, 2006 05:56 PM

Dan Abrams is the NBC boss
Meltdown is the show he should toss
Keep Rita and Tucker
Lose the orange motherf*cker
Who lifts and reads Daily Kos

Posted by: Howie Mandel at July 2, 2006 10:28 AM

Keith's the host that sane folks will mock
His show is the hour of crock
He couldn't be wronger
His showÖ not much longer
Dead pool? Meltdown's on the clock

Posted by: Ann Coulter's Vagina at July 2, 2006 09:40 PM

His attacks on Fox News are quite shrill
He most recently slapped E.D. Hill
His cheap shots are brutal
But painfully futile
Check the ratings for Fox News and Bill

Posted by: Brian Kilmeade at July 3, 2006 03:34 PM

There once was a bard named Homer
Who was known as a bit of a roamer
'Twas true he couldn't see
And didn't care where he'd pee
So he pissed on "The Bushiad" of Gomer

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 4, 2006 12:00 AM

The orange one is seething with anger
Cuz she published a blog, gosh dang her
Much thanks for relief
She gazed in disbelief
The questions remains: did he bang her?

Posted by: Gomer Shakespeare at July 5, 2006 07:10 PM

Keef's a trainwreck in slow motion
Nervous breakdown or stroke? Get the notion?
He cheap-shotted a peer
Now the end's looming near
Sounds like Keef needs Viagra or lotion

Posted by: merkle923 at June 30, 2006 06:35 PM

He's obsessed with Bill O and Sean Hannity
Man-tan, Ashleigh's glasses, such vanity!
Bill O will amuse
By lighting his fuse
Viewers cringe and question his sanity

Posted by: Laughing Stagehand at July 2, 2006 11:52 AM

To the tops o' the ratings he aspires
And hopes and prays that Bill-O retires
Until then he e-mails
Many willing females
Then defames them all as ****ing liars

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 2, 2006 02:04 PM

----------------------------------

In response to June posts

Mrs. Olbermann claims she's a teacher
But her offspring is quite a creature
He's a lying cheap shot
Yes, that's what she taught
Attacks on women... another nice feature

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 29, 2006 12:15 PM

Krazy Keith and his mate "three hole" Patrick
Is that why they call Dan "the hat trick"?
Keith destroyed his own show
So it's off to radio
More obscenities to make us all sick

Posted by: Peter Karmanos at June 29, 2006 02:14 PM

His viewers are abandoning ship
His ratings not even a blip
Bitch-slapped in the face
By Ms. Zahn and Ms. Grace
Bill's ahead by a 9 to 1 clip

Posted by: Ratings Police at June 27, 2006 09:59 PM

Even O'Reilly's taking a swipe
At NBC and their cable "news" tripe
Primetime bottom-feeder
Krazy Keith is their leader
His show's based on nothing but hype

Posted by: Rush Limbaugh at June 27, 2006 11:49 PM

His show is a platform for hate
His guests won't engage in debate
He's spiteful and mean
His email's obscene
GE should send him home in a crate

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 28, 2006 09:02 AM

He's an authority for the insane
Since he whacked his head on the subway train
Sanity he'll attack
Say pot-kettle-black
Maybe Celiac has infected his brain

Posted by: merkle666 at June 27, 2006 11:15 AM

He lost Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
His guests like to kiss lots of asses
Except Michael Musto
He wants someone to blow
And Keef needs anger management classes

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 27, 2006 11:29 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
The ratings have hit a new low
He's a strange guy
The cringe factor's high
In the Village he's known as man-ho

Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM

With guests like Michael Musto
The ratings have hit a new low
He's a strange guy
The cringe factor's high
In the Village he's known as man-ho

Posted by: Boy George at June 28, 2006 09:23 AM

Krazy Keith is circling the drain
Desperate efforts to save are in vain
The numbers don't lie
Say "Meltdown, bye-bye"
And Keith's off to asylum insane

Posted by: Rita Cosby at June 23, 2006 04:00 PM

There's only one side to his topic
No retort or debate? That's myopic
The guests lick his boots
Blue blogs in cahoots
His ratings have become microscopic

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 23, 2006 07:29 AM

Meltdown is the cable news bore
Guest moonbats like Dean and Algore
They must not give a damn
Keef's a journalistic sham
Moneyshot for ratings like a whore

Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 23, 2006 11:38 AM

Keith acts like a 10 year old child
His accusations go way beyond wild
If I were attacked as much
As O'Reilly and such
Police charges would have to be filed

Posted by: Tom Cruise at June 23, 2006 12:32 PM

He's the primetime cable "news" hack
Paste and read cuz he doesn't know jack
Smear Ann Coulter as gay
Call it a day
But it's Keith sucking hairy nutsack

Posted by: Hairy Belafonte at June 23, 2006 01:11 PM

He's got Ashleigh Banfield's glasses
He's considered insane by the masses
The guests echo his lies
He's the one most despise
Is Celiac causing off gasses?

Posted by: Matt Drudge at June 20, 2006 07:37 PM

NBC is the home of the loon
Connie, Cramer, Oafie... what a boon
Their case is a basket
Connie blew a gasket
They'll all be deep-sixed soon

Posted by: Dan Abrams at June 20, 2006 09:39 AM

e's the infamous, deplorable host
The moonbats removed his last post
His email's obscene
He's obsessive and mean
The one that colleagues despise most

Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 18, 2006 10:14 AM

The host likes to send viewers hate mail
While his show it continues to fail
He's vulger and crass
Celiac gives him gas
His emails should land him in jail

Posted by: Nancy Grace at June 17, 2006 10:26 AM

He's not only dumb, he's insane
Celiac must be in his brain
The emails he did
Proves he's insipid
His "news" show is circling the drain

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 16, 2006 08:48 AM

NBC is pathetic as hell
Their newsroom belongs in a cell
Keith is their man
(He's got a good tan)
Spokesman for the lies that they tell

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 15, 2006 10:50 PM

There once was a loon with a "news" show
He choked after eating a large crow
He thought he was funny
Soon he's making no money
Hawking jock straps on sports radio

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 15, 2006 10:26 PM

Dan Abrams must fire the guy
Each day the cringe factor's high
Meltdown's good as dead
But "I'm sorry" he said
We all know that's just another lie

Posted by: Rick Kaplan at June 15, 2006 07:59 PM

Meltdown is now in the dead pool
Keith tossed out like a dull tool
"I'm sorry" said Keith
Hall Of Fame I bequeath
A fitting end for the cowardly fool

Posted by: Tucker Carlson at June 15, 2006 01:18 PM

Taking cheap shots at colleagues... no class
Soon he'll be out on his ass
His schtick is tired
Dan says "You're fired"
Meltdown is sophomoric and crass

Posted by: Alex Gordan at June 14, 2006 11:19 AM

Meltdown's host is missing in action
Is there discord within Oafie's faction?
Unger's wearing Keef's hat
Just another moonbat
No viewers is the public reaction

Posted by: Merkle923 at June 14, 2006 09:18 AM

There once was a guest-host named Unger,
Who went at his job like a plunger.
So while he worked,
And jerked, and jerked, and jerked...
Ol' Keef was content with his bunger.

Posted by: Edward Lear at June 12, 2006 09:12 PM

Would the Krazy man please go away
He scares the children each day
His rants are sophomoric
He's fired? Euphoric!
No wife? No kids? Is he gay?

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 10, 2006 05:05 PM

Ann Coulter's much smarter than Keith
He's many IQ points beneath
Debate? He cannot
So he'll take a cheap shot
"Oafermann", the name I bequeath

Posted by: Billy "O" at June 11, 2006 08:54 AM

On TV there's no bigger fool
For years he's been Kaplan's tool
Now Kaplan's out
Keith's still a lout
And Meltdown is now in the dead pool

Posted by: Alan Greenspan at June 11, 2006 12:13 PM

Rick Kaplan didn't quit, he was fired
Krazy Keith is the moonbat he hired
Rick's ideas were failing
So NBC sent him sailing
And his shows will soon be retired

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 9, 2006 10:07 AM

The stockholders were getting quite tired
They wanted Rick Kaplan quite fired
TV viewers are choosers
His shows were all losers
Last place is where Meltdown is mired

Posted by: GE Stockholder at June 9, 2006 10:50 AM

He's the host that most viewers hate
He refuses to engage in debate
He's cowardly and weak
A chicken with a beak
Opposing views make his ego deflate

Posted by: Ann Coulter at June 7, 2006 09:24 AM

Meltdown's ruling czar said "I quit"
The host of the show said "Oh shit!"
Without the czar's backing
The host will be packing
His "news show" was never worth spit

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 7, 2006 05:52 PM

Meltdown is the cable news bore
The viewers have Keith on ignore
Attack O'Reilly each night
Keith's brain just ain't right
He's in last if you're keeping score

Posted by: Tom Brokaw at June 5, 2006 10:38 PM

The host must be mentally ill
His cries are becoming more shrill
His shrink says he's kooky
His tirades are spooky
He's got a weird obsession with Bill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 6, 2006 09:41 AM

Invasion excuses proved nil,
Yet on websites like this they bleat still,
In six months they'll know
Just how much they blow,
When Democrats take back the Hill.

Posted by: Betsy Ross at June 6, 2006 02:58 PM

There once was a man they called Dubya
Who creates a great deal of trouble-ya
From deficits to war
Airhead Conservatives roar,
"Oh Georgie, we certainly do Luv-ya!"

Posted by: Yo Baby! at June 6, 2006 03:54 PM

Meltdown has an orange tinted host
O'Reilly is watched by the most
Keith's viewers are none
So take cheap shots and run
He's all self-promotion and boast

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 5, 2006 12:47 PM

The moonbats inhabit his show
Milbank, Franken, and Musto
Their shit isn't funny
Meltdown's losing money
It's about time this loser should go

Posted by: Paula Zahn at June 5, 2006 05:17 PM

Krazy Keith must be mentally ill
To explain his obsession with Bill
We all knew he was kooky
But now it's become spooky
His shrink should prescribe him a pill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at June 1, 2006 10:53 PM

On O'Reilly he likes to rip
On reality he's lost a grip
He's one obsessive guy
The cringe factor is high
Stale cheap-shots must be his trip

Posted by: Geraldo Rivera at June 2, 2006 10:22 AM

Krazy Keith's finally gone off the deep end
Who edits transcripts once they've hit "send"?
Someone dropped the dime
Olby does it all the time
Is it Voxant he wants to defend?

Posted by: Rupert Murdoch at June 2, 2006 11:03 AM

There once was a lame ass broadcaster
Who's show was a nightly disaster.
Even though that Keith stunk
Like the neighborhood skunk,
He was loved by Rick Kaplan, his master.

Posted by: Edgar Allan Poe at June 2, 2006 02:01 PM

While his colleagues are dodging a shell
Meltdown features puppets and Mel
The cringe factor's high
No need to ask why
Keith belongs in a thick-padded cell

Posted by: Dr. Phil at August 1, 2006 10:44 AM

--------------------------------------------------

In response to July posts

The ratings are low for his station
His show on the brink of cessation
The big story's abroad
Where's the journalist-fraud?
On Leno, then it's time for vacation

Posted by: merkle928 at July 31, 2006 08:29 AM

While his colleagues are getting a story
Olby basks in his own perceived glory
He'll do the Tonight Show
But to Beirut he won't go
Another kook like Connie and Maury

Posted by: Geraldo at July 25, 2006 05:51 PM

Tick-tick-tick goes the cuckoo clock
Down, down, down goes the GE stock
Keith's in the Dead Pool
He's been NBC's tool
Somewhere for the moonbats to flock

Posted by: Implosion Pending at July 25, 2006 02:19 PM

It's the biggest news story of the year
But Krazy Keith must be hiding in fear
He's a no-show
But he's booked on Jay Leno
It's no wonder his colleagues all jeer

Posted by: Al Jazeera at July 24, 2006 11:25 PM

Dan Abrams has a master plan
Trick viewers it's not Olbermann
Keith as O'Reilly
Will be rated more highly
And he won't be in last place again

Posted by: Much Thanks at July 24, 2006 12:15 PM

Mr. Man-Tan pissed on the Jews
Does anyone care at NBC "News"?
According to Dan
Keith is their man
And they support the hate that he spews

Posted by: For this Relief at July 24, 2006 12:24 PM

Irena Briganti speaks truth
A train wreck for Keith the Uncouth
With his pending implosion
And ratings erosion
Keith's viewers all fit in a phone booth

Posted by: Mafia don at July 22, 2006 09:35 AM

While Lewinsky gave Billy-bob head
They planned to make Americans dead
Clinton's too busy
The intern's all jizzy
Bill did nothing. George did. Nuf sed

Posted by: Cigar Afficionado at July 20, 2006 04:58 PM

Say "Coultergeist" and hear Keith tee-hee
That's sad. How old is he? Three?
He's mean and he's vile
His humor infantile
The laughing stock of cable TV

Posted by: merkle928 at July 18, 2006 11:24 PM

NBC is the cable news tabloid
Stuck to the bottom like a hemorrhoid
Since when did the news
Include Britney and Cruise?
And a cable news host that's a schizoid?

Posted by: Sigmund Freud at July 19, 2006 02:08 PM

The Middle East is going up in a flame
So Keith interviews Mr. Valerie Plame?
That's a ratings disaster
His rivals will plaster
Last place and only Keith is to blame

Posted by: Relative Obscurity at July 18, 2006 12:55 AM

He's obsessed with Ann Coulter and Bill
His whining is becoming more shrill
Girl-fan appearing
At his sanity hearing
To proclaim that he's mentally ill

Posted by: Dr. Phil at July 14, 2006 11:15 PM

For KO to interview Ms. Plame
Would mean a new plateau of fame
Then with Joe he'd toke
And do lines of coke
All this, and Bush is to blame

Posted by: BirdmanOfAlcatraz at July 15, 2006 01:03 AM

Keef's been a "journalist" for 27 years
What has he learned? Attack Britney Spears!
All the time and the college
To attain tabloid knowledge
Keef should consider switching careers

Posted by: Kevin Federline at July 16, 2006 09:32 AM

On Meltdown where the ratings are low
Keith rolls out spook Michael Musto
The children should hide
Creepy-weird bonafide
One more reason the viewers don't show

Posted by: Much Thanks at July 17, 2006 02:44 PM

One hundred attacks, a new best
Do you think Keef will give it a rest?
His schtick is mundane
His cheap shots in vain
Dull wits are the product of incest

Posted by: Geraldo O'Reilly at July 15, 2006 09:55 PM

The reason I suck is so simple
I'm nothing but a nasty ass pimple.
It's talent I lack
So I'm forced to attack.
But Dean says I got a cute dimple!

Posted by: Keith Olbermann at July 15, 2006 10:15 PM

PETA should be onto this fool
To beat a dead horse is just cruel
The O'Rivalry's dead
Please examine Keith's head
He's stammering like a dull tool

Posted by: merkle928 at July 16, 2006 12:55 AM

Krazy Keith is last on the list
From Ms. Grace and Ms. Zahn, the fist
Keith's not in the race
He's stuck in last place
Hey Keith, are you getting the gist?

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:39 AM

Keith brags about Meltdown's standing
But in the cellar is where he is landing
Such a miserable hack
He's thirty games back
An ass-kicking his rivals are handing

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 14, 2006 08:52 AM

Keith attacks Ann Coulter every night
I'd take Ann even odds in a fight
She'd bring her gun
Mr. Man-Tan would run
Under his desk to tremble with fright

Posted by: merkle928 at July 12, 2006 10:38 PM

He's the host that's obnoxious and loud
Cindy Sheehan is part of his crowd
Keith defines moonbat
He's wearing an ass hat
His mother has got to be proud

Posted by: Maureen Dowd at July 12, 2006 03:27 PM

"For this relief..." spewed the orange-tinted man
"...Much thanks" he drooled to his fan
Then he dumped her thru email
Someone died... a tall tale
Another day, another dolar, another tan

Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 03:50 PM

On radio he sniffs sweaty jocks
On tv he attacks women at Fox
He's a journalistic hack
His pot has a crack
"For this relief, much thanks" when he stalks

Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 09:54 PM

In school was it math that Keith failed?
Or should NBC's research be jailed?
Their numbers are lies
His logic defies
Sanity based on comments he emailed

Posted by: Moral Force at July 12, 2006 01:11 AM

When he laughs, it truly is weird
Oh yes! It's worse than you feared!
You would cringe if you'd hear it
So never get near it.
If so, your brain will be seared.

Posted by: Pat Fegan at July 12, 2006 01:21 AM

If Meltdown's ratings are really so hot
Why does it always show up in last spot?
If up fifty percent
Why not a dent?
Another mistruth and Krazy Keith's caught

Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 01:26 AM

He gets bitch-slapped each night by Ms. Grace
But he brags that he's in the race
Keith keeps on lying
But the sponsors aren't buying
A show that resides in last place

Posted by: Ratings Police at July 12, 2006 09:40 AM

Krazy Keith has forgotten one fact
That GE stockholders own his contract
If last place he's mired
Then he will be fired
They'll deep-six the pot that is cracked

Posted by: Billy "O" at July 12, 2006 10:23 AM

NBC says that Keith is their man
Is he the guy with the apricot tan?
He's obsessed with Ann's crotch
The facts he will botch
"For this relief" he's bangin' his fan

Posted by: Adam Apple at July 10, 2006 09:12 AM

Keith's life has become quite obscene
Vulgar emails, "this relief", and John Dean
Implosion imending
The inevitable ending
Is oblivion where he'll rarely be seen

Posted by: Moral Force at July 11, 2006 04:48 PM

Keith's hero is deformed baby Stewie
For most of us it's all just pa-tooey
His obsessions are quite clear
But can't get his libido in gear
So at odd times his shorts are all gooey

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 11, 2006 03:01 PM

A disbarred lawyer is his expert on law
So absurd it makes one guffaw
Keith's guest is a crook
Convicted felon hawks book
It's ludicrous and slackens one's jaw

Posted by: Moral Force at July 10, 2006 07:47 PM

The left has their liberal thinkers
In debate sound like liberal drinkers
Keith is their man
So is Cindy Sheehan
News jockey and jack-ass with blinkers

Posted by: Pat Day at July 9, 2006 08:57 AM

There once was a chap on the tellie
Who's show always upset my belly.
I'd try pepto and such
And my pillow I'd clutch
All because I tuned into this nellie!

Posted by: Rudyard Kipling at July 9, 2006 11:08 PM

Come Monday Keith will be on his knees
For John Dean, the felon, the sleaze
Expect obscene attacks
From a couple of hacks
A disbarred legal expert? Oh please!

Posted by: G. Gordon Liddy at July 8, 2006 12:01 AM

Krazy Keith needs a sanity hearing
Even his colleagues are jeering
Keith's off his hinge
The viewers will cringe
At the snarky cheap shots and his sneering

Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 09:30 PM

Keith said "anal sex" and "fisting"
Thats "news" he keeps on insisting
His show's a disgrace
No wonder last place
NBC should pull Meltdown's listing

Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 10:23 AM

He's obsessed with Ann Coulter's crotch
Will the cheap shots up ratings a notch?
Keith can't have Ann
So he'll be bangin' his fan
"For this relief, much thanks", Olbywatch

Posted by: Moral Force at July 7, 2006 11:13 AM

There once was a man so psychotic
Who's brain was rather chaotic.
The way his mind works
Is to host leftist jerks
And repeat left wing lines so robotic.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 05:40 PM

On tv, there's a goofy, orange clown
Who's a coward of some world renown.
Yet this silly, sad knave
Still claims to be brave.
In his ego, he's starting to drown.

Posted by: Patrick Fegan at July 7, 2006 09:13 PM

At Fox News they're rolling in money
At NBC the skies aren't so sunny
Their cable shows suck
Keith's run amuck
GE shareholders don't find it too funny

Posted by: GE Shareholder at July 5, 2006 07:20 PM

Meltdown is now in the Dead Pool
NBC will purge Keith like a loose stool
He says ratings are hot
So why still in last spot?
His mom's a teacher but she sure raised a fool

Posted by: Peter O' Toole at July 5, 2006 10:21 PM

It's become a familiar refrain
O'Donnell D Milbank the Brain
Never is heard
a discouraging word
As Olbermann circles the drain

Posted by: DavidBrock at July 5, 2006 11:07 PM

The loons flew low over Manhattan
Then an orange one tried to chase after 'em
But while they flew west
The eyebrowed one only flew left
so embarassing, even they coulnd't watch him

Posted by: CEB at July 6, 2006 10:39 AM

He's the moonbat that spews the mistruth
All his friends can fit in one phone booth
Accusations toward Ann?
And he's banging a fan?
Total meltdown for Keith the Uncouth

Posted by: Moral Force at July 6, 2006 12:22 PM

He believes his words are prophetic
But his emails prove he's pathetic
Insipid and mean
Correspondence obscene
For sex he needs a prosthetic

Posted by: Herpes man at July 3, 2006 11:32 PM

His post-coitus comments are creepy
"For relief, much thanks, now I'm sleepy"
For groupies he's trolling
Mr. Shakespeare is rolling
Keithës "C" list but acts V.I.P.

Posted by: Moral Force at July 4, 2006 09:16 AM

He solicits his fans for sex
But they say his unit won't flex
In bed he's pathetic
Just like an anesthetic
His emails are where he will vex

Posted by: Lex at July 3, 2006 09:31 AM

Soliciting groupies for sex, how lame
Now he's exposed like Valerie Plame
At sex he will fail
So he'll dump you by email
Keith's seeking misfortune and flame

Posted by: Moral Force at July 3, 2006 10:08 AM

KO's "Moral Force" is a farce
Thus viewership is quite sparse
So he hits on a lady
With tales of Malmedy
And ends up flat on his arse

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot at July 3, 2006 01:06 PM

In response to August 2006 posts

Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
That claim makes his unibrow furrow
Just a journalistic hack
Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

Keith thinks that he's Edward R. Murrow
That claim makes his unibrow furrow
Just a journalistic hack
Should be jock-sniffing Shaq
With no viewers, the evidence is thorough

Posted by: merkle928 at August 7, 2006 09:28 AM

Bill's with the Secretary of State
While Keith ponders Mel Gibson's fate
And NBC wonders why
Keith's ratings aren't high
The ratings Keith likes to inflate

Posted by: Dangerous Demagogue at August 1, 2006 11:38 PM

[ed. note: we will continue to add new limericks each month]