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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The opening spiel found the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann being, well, infamous and deplorable. Here's what the President said:
It's unacceptable to think that there's any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of America and the actions of Islamic extremists who kill innocent women and children to achieve an objective.
That was too much for Olby, who shamefully twisted words and fabricated an entirely nonexistent meaning:
The President tells him and us what we may and may not think.... An America in which a President says it is unacceptable to think something!
And there was more:
It's unacceptable to think! Sounds like something straight out of George Orwell's 1984, instead it was something straight out of George Bush's mouth.
We assume even OlbyLoons don't require an exegesis of sophistry this transparent. KO ran clips of "Mister" Bush's press conference, prefacing them with a lie he first tried out yesterday ("rewrite article 3 of the Geneva conventions"). Naturally NBC News's tonsorially enhanced camera hog got maximum play.
Krazy Keith tried out his latest bit of casuistry on Pundit for All Occasions Howard Fineman, saying there was "more to this sentence"...but:
Can the leader of the free world ever, under any circumstances, let alone in answer to his own former Secretary of State, begin a sentence with the phrase, "it's unacceptable to think"?
Howie ducked the question, describing it as "extraordinary" and went off on a tangent. He predicted the entire kerfuffle will be resolved with a compromise. Olby, always looking to spin something as negative to Bush, suggested that the President looked "angry" and wasn't doing himself a favor. In a shocking, totally unexpected development, Fineman said...he agreed.
To continue the Bush-bash fest, Professor Jonathan Turley starred in the #4 position. Calling the President "apopleptic", Herr Olbermann described:
...the legal and ethical slippery slopes the President is hell bent on running down.
Olby then quoted from the Geneva Common Article 3, while leaving out one salient fact: it was written in regard to civil wars, and specifically does not apply to conflicts that are "international". We'll see if the Perfessor is honest enough to bring that up.
Fans of Krazy Keith Konspiracies will be pleased to know he even came up with one for this:
The President's rush, fury to get this done in only his way is not about getting new information, about protecting against new threats, but about somehow trying to make the way we've already treated dainty, new detainees retroactively OK, is he covering his own backside with this?
Did the Perfessor buy into this latest bit of Olbermannian tin-foilery? Is water wet? He said "most people believe" the detainees were waterboarded, and "that is undeniably torture".
Stop the tivo! Keith Olbermann has told us repeatedly that torture doesn't work. John McCain has said the information obtained through torture is worthless because people just say what they think they want their interrogators to hear. But when Khalid Shaikh Muhammed was questioned, he gave up Ramzi bin al Sheed. And Al Sheed gave up someone else. And so on. These interrogation techniques did work, and gave us good information. So by KO's own logic they couldn't have been "torture"! But we digress.
The Perfessor went on to talk about the "felonies" of Bush, piling on with "violations of international law". Keith described it all as America becoming "just what the terrorists want", and the Perfessor did what all Countdown guests are expected to do. He agreed with the Great and Powerful Olb. Nobody mentioned the eight (at a minimum) terror attacks that these interrogations disrupted. Saving lives takes a back seat to demagoguery on The Hour of Spin. And no, the Perfessor never pointed out how Common Article 3 does not apply to "international" conflicts.
The rest of the hour was dedicated to Anna Nicole Smith (with Larry Sutton of People magazine), recycled network video about models, Elton John, and Steve Irwin. Finally came the rerun of Olby's insufferable "special comment", prefaced with a slam at Gov Pataki (he vetoed a bill that would have required that admission to a WTC memorial be free). And the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann added a postscript, reprising his earlier barefaced sophism:
Since then, remember, we have now been told by this President, it is unacceptable to think.
Olby's "worst person" was, all together now, Bill O'Reilly. Scraping the bottom of his vitriol barrel, the discredited sports guy saw fit to make fun of a t-shirt Mr Bill offers on his website. Herr Olbermann also ridiculed "factor gear" in general, describing it as "crap he wants to sell you". Krazy Keith knows that Mr O'Reilly gets no profits from the "crap"--they all go to charity. But no matter; cheap shots always take precedence. Speaking of crap, KO also used the occasion to pimp
his book the book that bears his name, bragging about how amazon has run out of copies. Well, that would be pretty elegant spin to explain away a precipitous plummeting in its amazon sales ranking.
There was mention of Krazy Keith's Today show appearance, but no clips. Probably a good idea, since the camermen this morning did not restrict views of Jonah Olbermann to tight head shots. In his ill-fitting suit, Olby made Matt Lauer look positively anorexic. No reporting of poll numbers tonight. No words in protest (or otherwise) over the kill-Bush movie. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED].