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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
We predicted that a downturn in the polls would suddenly make survey results news again on The Hour of Spin. And, like Pavlov's dog in a bell-testing factory, Krazy Keith came through again. Cherry-picked poll results led off the opening spiel, followed by FoleyGate, and then he got around to North Korea. For the latter, KO scrounged up a Rumsfeld connection, which just happened to be a big talking point today on the blue blogs.
Even with the Rummy angle, the North Korean threat still wasn't spinnable enough to kick off the show, so the Hour of Spin proper began with...poll results! You know, those polls that Herr Olbermann has ignored for weeks because they were going in the wrong direction. Sure enough, KO seized on the Newsweek poll: it has Bush down in the 30s. Nonpartisan Olbermann mentioned the adminstration's "do nothing diplomatic stance" re Korea (a preposterous characterization, but then, we are on OlbyPlanet), before moving on to the "Republican sex scandal".
Time again for the notorious quote-doctorer David Shuster. Slippery cited the revelation that Congresman Kolbe knew about Foley's behavior back in 2000. At Olby's urging, he used this to suggest that Hastert's timeline was defective, everything has to be pushed back, etc. From the statements quoted in the press by Kolbe, there's nothing whatsoever about him ever telling anyone else in the House, let alone the leadership, about what Foley was up to. But to Slippery, that just raises "questions", and naturally they are questions about Hastert, not questions about Kolbe. Like could Kolbe have been attempting to protect Foley from the leadership. Why would Kolbe do that? A little factoid that didn't make Countdown: Kolbe, like Foley, is homosexual.
They went on to talk about Congressman Tom Reynolds, losing ground in his re-election bid, and the House ethics committee. KO was hopeful that the committee's investigation would be completed before the election, while Slippery predicted it would get bogged down. Shuster did not reference his statement of last week which, if taken seriously, would mean that in the next two days, Speaker Hastert would be out of his job. We'll know about that soon enough.
After great thanksing Shuster, Olby turned the seat of honor over to Alter. Krazy Keith worried that all this talk about a coming GOP disaster might be overstatement. Hello? Did "Fat Ass" Olbermann not even listen to his own opening spiel? Alter came up with the usual piercingly brilliant insights that have made him a Countdown fave: Politics changes quickly. A week can be a lifetime. Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. A stitch in time saves nine. Love means never having to say you're sorry. Life is like a box of chocolates.
More "great thanks" followed, and to our great disappointment, a Krazy Keith "special report" on "the murder of habeas corpus" (the same habeas corpus that never been applied to enemy combattants in any prior conflict in our nation's history) was delayed until tomorrow. Oh, the waves of disappointment that flooded across the blue blogs.
The #4 story was not about the Korean nuke test. No way, it was the "Christian right" and the "Republican sex scandal". But this was merely to intro a taped rerun from NBC. After a tease for Big Brangelina News came another segment of oddball that is undoubtedly headed for a place in the Museum of Television Arts and Sciences. And of course, the top three newsmakers, or as Olby announced it
But first time for Countdown's lesst of, uh, the latest [pause] three newsmakers of this day.
The Korean story was presented with the utmost OlbySpin: it's all "Mister" Bush's fault, because he called them evil and didn't talk to them. (Much like the Idaho lawmaker who, on hearing that Hitler had invaded Poland, said it wouldn't have happened if only he had been able to talk to Mr Hitler first--an obscure historical reference that you'll never hear from "Fat Ass" Olbermann.) Oh, and Rummy was part of a company that sold North Korea light water reactors, under the terms of the Clinton era engagement policies. But then, no slave to consistency, KO complained that "Mister" Bush did away with that policy. Don't try to make sense of it, it's OlbyLogic.
Just to nail down the propaganda, Herr Olbermann dragged in a representative of what the rest of the world considers a failed policy toward North Korea, Clinton's ambassador Wendy Sherman:
How could anybody not have seen this coming?
Sherman's response was one that is heard repeatedly on The Hour of Spin: "I quite agree with you." The Korean problem is all Bush's fault. It's "terrifying". Multilateralism (the mantra for just about every other foreign policy situation) is out because the North Koreans want direct engagement. Things were great under Bill Jefferson Clinton, but now we're in a "deep hole". But wait, weren't the Koreans cheating on the sweet deal that B.J. Clinton made with them? On OlbyPlanet, that's not just the unanswered question, it's the unasked question. Another reason we call it The Hour of Spin.
#2 : Brangelina in India (recycled NBC video), Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Anna Nicole Smith. #1: A tribute to Buck O'Neill, including mention of his attraction for younger women. (Olbermann has no shame.)
Book pimping again led off the Media Matters Minute. Krazy Keith waved
his book the book that bears his name, bragging that among all political books sold just at Wal-Mart stores, he was #2 and "Bill Orally" was #3. It was a good start to attack Mr Bill himself, for criticizing the Cleveland Plain Dealer's review. KO: "Bill, your book sucks." Note that the newspaper agreed with the criticisms Mr Bill made, and printed a statement to that effect. "Monkey" Olbermann left that part out, but did work in a reference to Andrea Mackris. OK, that settles it. I vote "yes" in today's poll. If the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann can dish it out, he should be able to take it. Fox News was "worst person" for getting the party affiliations wrong on a graphic when reporting on a poll. Olby cleverly showed just a freeze-frame and didn't mention that the speakers made clear the correct identifications.
Dogs that did not bark: KO loves bad economic news, like rising oil prices. But he said not one word as the price of gas continued to fall, according to surveys released today. Yet again Keith did not address his slander of Chris Mihlfield and Albert Pujols, based on a discredited and retracted blog entry. And the biggest muted mongrel: that salacious story in today's New York Post. Some things just hit a bit too close to home, eh Keith?
While the book that bears Olbermann's name languishes at #78 at amazon, Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is #16. And O'Reilly's volume is #1 on the New York Times Best Seller List. (KO didn't make any clever comparisons on this point, since the OlbyTome never made that list.) Friday's audience numbers found Krazy Keith in his usual poor third place. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED].