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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann delivered a "special investigation" tonight that was so fatuous, so shallow and moronic, that it may well stand as a nadir in the realm of public discourse. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Olby romped through the opening spiel: Hastert, more poll numbers, Katherine Harris, and "the murder of habeas corpus". Quoth the Olbermann:
How he can now put you in jail, and throw away the key. 
The Hour of Spin proper kicked off with poll numbers, always news when they are bad for the GOP. Mention was made again of the "Republican sex scandal" (trivia question: how many times did Krazy Keith refer to the Lewinsky business as the "Democratic sex scandal"?). Jordan Edmunds was interviewed by the FBI: he's the page whose identity was dug up by red bloggers, a report that was ridiculed by blue bloggers, but proved to be correct. In the run down of poll numbers. KO highlighted all the bad news for Republicans including:
Gallup: Does your representative deserve re-election? Yes: 59%, No: 33%
After mention of a fire at a Baghdad ammunitions "daypo" (as it is pronounced on OlbyPlanet), and negative Iraq-related comments from Olympia Snowe (trivia question: how often has Olby cited any of her comments that were not anti-administration?), KO gave passing reference to the possible 2nd Korean nuke test.
Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post read the pre-election tea leaves, and talked about the write-in candidate for the Tom DeLay seat. He seemed to be under the impression that having a long name is a hardship (you need a name like "Ben Smith", he opined), apparently unaware that write-ins have, for at least a decade, been a highly organized affair, complete with mass distribution of peel-off stickers. In the Senate, Cillizza saw a possibility of a turn-over, an excellent excuse to dredge up George Allen and "macaca" again. He claimed this race was running "even", which would be accurate if your definition of "even" was Allen being ahead by more than 5%
Cillizza got "great thanksed", and KO decided to do a bit on the "infamous" Katherine Harris, who is behind in Florida polls. Going into the first break, there was no mention of the "fact" (per David Shuster) that Denny Hastert has only one day left as Speaker of the House. Slippery didn't even show up to participate in the anticipatory festivities. Instead, Krazy Keith did another tease for his expose on habeas corpus, noting:
That, in turn, kills nothing less than your bill of rights. 
The #4 story was a New York Daily News report on the President's reaction to the Woodward book. Again mention of "the Republican sex scandal". Thomas DeFrank sat in the Seat of Honor, describing the book as:
A lurid portrait of a chaotic, backbiting, dysfunctional administration...
A nice turn of phrase, and in fact, turning to Mr DeFrank's article, we find him describing:
A lurid portrait of a dysfunctional, chaotic administration...
And what do you know, this afternoon's Countdown email newsletter promises that Mr DeFrank will tell viewers about:
A lurid portrait of a dysfunctional, chaotic administration...
O.K. As DeFrank went on, he referenced an "unflattering portrait" (apparently "lurid" was pretty much worn out by this point). The President doesn't like disloyalty, there's "a lot of friction", and the House Republicans are bunglers. "Monkey" Olbermann observed that "Mister" Bush is "frothing at the mouth" about "stuff that he has made up out of thin air", and DeFrank, who wants to hold on to some semblance of professionalism, retorted: "That's your characterization, not mine."
DeFrank was great thanksed, and then came another installment in that pinnacle of journalism: oddball. Another tease for KO's "special investigation", and then finally the Great Moment arrived: Dr Olbermann's lecture on the bill of rights and the "murder" of habeas corpus, complete with a graphic of a tombstone. "Fat Ass" Olbermann began with a nonsequitur, using a clip of the President decrying people who leak classified information to imply that they would be subject to this detainee act.
After a few juvenile smart cracks, Krazy Keith went into his pre-taped exegesis of habeas corpus. Clip of Bush taking the oath to defend the constitution. Quote from the constitution. Clip of Sen Leahy lying that the bill "eliminates completely" habeas corpus. Clip of Arlen Spectre. Clip of John Kerry. All clips sided with Dr Olbermann. Habeas corpus pre-dates the constitution. Quotes from the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights, with Dr Olbermann using a red ink pen to cross off rights that no longer remain "for your protection" :
you lose your freedom of religion and speech ... you, you, you can't petition the government ... your right to bear arms ... you're not secure against seizures, searches and seizures ...
Now what do all those numbers stand for? They represent each time Keith Olbermann lied about your habeas corpus rights. At least seven times--that's when we quit counting. Make it eight, if you include the pre-show promos. Even billing this vapid display of ignorance as a "special investigation" was a lie. What kind of investigation into this new law quotes from everything under the sun--except the law itself?
The law carves out a limited exception to the general habeas corpus right. But here's the key: this exception does not apply to American citizens! Krazy Keith didn't want his viewers to know this most salient fact. Every time Herr Olbermann dishonestly claimed it was affecting "you" or "your rights", he was spinning like a top. This provision only affects aliens determined to be enemy combatants. It says so, in plain English, right in the law. And so the entire premise of Olby's latest ignorant rant is nothing but a cheap semantic trick, another thinly disguised Olbermann lie.
After this embarrassingly uninformed fulmination, Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann covered Barbra Streisand (via a Monica Novotny report), Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Joe Torre, and The Runaway Bride.
The Media Matters Minute opened without the usual book pimping. "Bill Orally" was named for opining that the Korean nuke test was timed to influence the November election. Such opinions are not permitted on OlbyPlanet, because they are not the approved opinions of Judge Olbermann. Michael Savage got the honors as "worst person". Watch for the free publicity video to appear at the Media Matters site within the next 24 hours--the same time frame during which Dennis Hastert will step down from his Speaker's post. We know that because Slippery Shuster said so.
Dogs that did not bark: The stock market hit another historic high today, but good economic news is unwelcome on The Hour of Spin. Olby loves to cite Washington Post editorials--when he can use them to reinforce his spin. After Countdown's Blame Bush for Korean Nukes Fest, today's Post editorial took up the issue. But their conclusion ("the real leverage lies with South Korea and China") contradicted OlbySpin, so it was ignored. Similarly, Olby is quick to cite the editorial page of the Los Ageneles Times when it suits his purposes, but was careful not to refer to their latest commentary on Korea. And Keith still refuses to address his slander of Chris Mihlfield and Albert Pujols, based on a discredited and retracted blog entry.
On the amazon best-sellers list, the book that bears Olbermann's name has fallen to #78, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is #19. And O'Reilly's volume is still #1 on the New York Times Best Seller List. Monday's ratings: Krazy Keith still stuck in third place. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED].
[ed. note: there has been a significant decline in blogs writing about KO's "special comments". Apparently they are no longer especially "special" anymore. Now his "special investigation" has been pretty much ignored. Is this a sign that KO has gone to the "special" well once too often? As you can see those few links that are out there are mostly people linking to the video on YouTube or C&L]
They have a poll asking "when will Keith beat O'Reilly's ratings?" I voted for "when hell freezes over".