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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The opening spiel actually featured a new "controversy": how many times did "Mister" Bush use the phrase "stay the course"? Plus "comedian Rush Limbaugh" and Madonna's baby. If this is the best the spinmeisters could come up with, it's no wonder A-Mess-NBC didn't even bother to patch together a new promo for tonight's Hour of Spin.
Olby began with the President's presser, noting that "Mister" Bush commented on troop deaths. At about this point, we noticed a shift in the audio. Yes, Edward R Olbermann was so concerned that he couldn't get through one paragraph without bobbling his words into an incomprehensible mess that he apparently pre-taped the few sentences of this report! Seconds later he was back live again, and in trying to say "we begin tonight"...he bobbled it!
After clips that included the tonsorially enhanced David Gregory, Olby claimed that the Iraqi was outraged that coalition troops conducted a raid without consulting them. Then it was time for Dana Milbank, shorn of superfluous smocks. Rule #1: paint whatever happened as bad for the President:
Did President Bush succeed in doing anything other than digging himself and his party into a deeper hole?
What happened there? Olby forgot to say "Mister"! Be that as it may, Dana giggled and compared Bush to LBJ and said he's "moving the goal posts". Then KO invoked Rule #1 again:
Did he not just make sure that any place where it was not, Iraq has become the top issue...?
How did this guy win two Presidential elections when every move he makes is always the wrong one, at least on OlbyPlanet? KO brought up something about a flimsy "straw man" and added:
Is anyone actually making a claim that we're not at, or involved in, a war?
Oh, maybe some discredited sports guy who refers to a "so-called war on terror". But nobody listens to him anyhow. Then because the President talked about not letting oil reserves fall into the hands of radicals, Monkeymann reverted to Rule #1, saying this would "play into the hands" of critics. Because if a loss in Iraq lets terrorists get their hands on oil, that means Bush invaded Iraq for oil. Don't try to make sense of it; it's OlbyLogic.
After great thanksing Dana, Krazy Keith decided to do his count of "stay the course" references, complete with video clips. Oddball preceded tonight's attack on "toxic" Rush Limbaugh, whom Olby claimed was imitating and "mocking" Michael J Fox. (Limbaugh says he was demonstrating what the clip showed for people watching his show on the internet, but since Olbermann can't be bothered to tell both sides of major stories, he sure ain't gonna do it for a more successful radio host whose audience dwarfs Keith's.)
The #3 story was all about the "grace" of Michael J Fox, showing his ad while carefully avoiding any discussion of the accuracy of the claims, a clip of Limbaugh, and Fox's response. Olby cited a doctor saying that if Fox had gone off his meds it would have made him immobile, and would not cause gesticulations. This would seem to be contrary to the actor's own admission that he stops taking meds for things like Congressional testimony so that the effects of the disease will be fully appreciated. This is something else Monkeymann failed to mention.
Seder, from the bankrupt Err America, was the guest analyst. Why bother? Is there anyone, even on OlbyPlanet, who could not predict Krazy Keith's Konspiracy theories (some mystery Republican "told" that "boob" Limbaugh to attack Fox), or Seder's rants on everything from Iraq to pages to eeevil conservatives? Just more one-sided propaganda with a guest who served as a human ditto machine for A-Mess-NBC's slovenly political hack. One notable moment: Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann denigrated a baseball player who made an ad opposing the Michael J Fox position, sneering that all the guy has is "blisters". Because on OlbyPlanet, one's right to participate in the national discourse is directly proportional to how bad your illness is? Because getting a disease makes you automatically smarter? Or automatically right? As we say, don't try to make sense of it. It's OlbyLogic.
#2: Madonna and her baby (recycled video from ITV), Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Shaq, Dick Clark. #1: the well-endowed libertarian gubernatorial candidate. Brock will be most upset; the "worst persons" were all unknown civilians.
There were too many muted mongrels to mention. Go to the Drudge Report or any news organization homepage and you will find dozens of stories that Countdown ignored in favor of counting phrases and calling names. So we'll stick to the old favorites. The Dow Jones found the market hitting historic highs for the third day in a row. Yet Edward R Olbermann dares not report it. As he is competing with the World Series, with baseball on everyone's mind, isn't it time "Fat Ass" Olbermann apologized for his disgusting smear of Albert Pujols and Chris Mihlfield, lifted from a discredited and retracted blog entry?
Amazon has already discounted
Olbermann's book the book that bears Olbermann's name by almost 50%, and yet it is cratering at #338 in sales, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is back up to #12. At Barnes & Noble, the OlbyTome has sunk to an humiliating #1,945, while O'Reilly's best-seller stands at #19. While KO's numbers are still being inflated due to a strong election-season lead-in from Hardball, Tuesday's results nonetheless show Krazy Keith losing audience from Chris Matthews. Among all viewers, he could only manage third place , and in Keith's coveted, all-important, critical, beloved, key "demo", he actually fared worse, coming in fourth, behind a rerun of "Deal or No Deal". Perhaps Dan Abrams can recruit Howie Mandel to host Countdown. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]