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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
KO bellowed through the opening spiel touching on Iraq, "Bush's Brain", and the "racist" Tennessee commercial's "backlash". Olby believes if you say something often enough, it becomes the truth. Orange man falsely stated that the Bush administration "insults anyone" who asks about failing to meet Iraq targets. After rattling off casualty statistics, Krazy Keith claimed Rumsfeld said "any questions" about the Iraq plan were "politically motivated". A long clip (the best part of the show) included Rummy catching a reporter using a false premise in a question, but the purpose was to set up Ricks, author of a "definitive" (per Olby) book on Iraq.
Rumsfeld clearly nailed Miklaszewski in that exchange, but as can be expected, Monkeymann immediately started the spinning, saying of Rummy:
He came as close to losing it as we have seen.
Miklaszewski tried to worm his way out of a flawed question by claiming it was "too precise" (!). Olby had his own, more convoluted excuse:
Is Mr Rumsfeld numerically correct about, uh, Iraqi defense forces in service, but realistically incorrect because of how many of those were not useful?
KO and Ricks went on about benchmarks, unmet goals, Sadr City, and the administration blaming the media (something Olby is happy to do when it suits his purposes). Ricks said it's still a "fiasco" (book plug) and we could be on a slide to a civil war. But wait, The Great and Powerful Olb already declared it to already be a civil war--he did so just two days ago. So which is it? He never cleared that up. He did, however, tease an upcoming segment about "the Harol Ford miscegenation ad". This ought to be interesting: an ad that claims Ford is married to or living with a white woman (that's the meaning of the word). Was KO telling the truth, or was his description just another Olbermann lie?
In the #4 slot, politics and the elections. A Zogby generic ballot poll was cited, and KO finally caught up with Karl Rove comments from some time ago and ran a clip. Lefty Jonathan Alter showed up to give his impartial, nonpartisan analysis. Olby compared Rove to Stalin (we kid you not), Alter explained (more or less) what Rove was talking about, and said the GOP has a better polling operation than the Dems. Plus Foley has run its course, and the election will be all about Iraq. He got great thansked before Olby again teased the "vile" Harold Ford ad.
The propaganda came thick and fast in the #3 segment, all about those rotten, nasty, eeevil Republican ads. Keith misdefined miscegination as "a black man dating a white woman", just so he could falsely apply it to the "vile" anti-Harold Ford ad (hereafter the "vile ad"). Then a Corker radio ad that Olby preposterously claimed used "jungle sounding" themes whenever Ford was mentioned. Actually it uses the same ominous, generic backdrop music that ad creators license from production companies every day of the year. Is "Fat Ass" Olbermann losing it? We'd say he's off his meds, but the only meds we know of deal more with Katy's department.
Instead of the Democrat McMahon (who apparently backed out so he could appear on a program that actually has viewers: Hannity & Colmes), KO brought on as his impartial, nonpartisan analyst the Democrat Lawrence ("Liar! Creepy Liar!") O'Donnell. Of course the discredited sports guy never identifyied him as a Democrat (no truth in packaging on OlbyPlanet). (We have updated The List accordingly.) The deranged one slammed the vile ad...wait, that doesn't make it clear who's talking. We'll try that again: the deranged guest slammed the vile ad and called it a "disaster", while Ford's response was "brilliantly done". Note that the brilliant ad was not an answer to the vile ad at all, but to a totally different ad (not shown) regarding gay marriage. The demented guest claimed that the brilliant ad could never have been made if the vile ad had not been run. Apparently, he was no more aware of the actual sequence of spots in this race than was his Giupetto, Olbermann.
#2: Super powers (recycled video from NBC), Madonna, Mariah Carey (the banner read "Carey Fisher"), the "super-thin" Kate Moss, and Heather Mills. #1: Celebrity gossip with the creepy Michael Musto. In the Media Matters Minute, the Ohio Republican Party got a mention (natch!), as did a Republican candidate for Congress (that's two). The "worst person" was "comedian Rush Limbaugh", who said all of Michael J Fox's ads were for Democrats. Olbermoronn sneered that Fox did one for Specter, the thought never entering his mind that Rush was talking about his current ads, not the ones from years ago. He also slammed Limbaugh for saying that Cardin had voted against stem cell research, which Cardin did. But don't expect Herr Olbermann to know anything beyond what Media Matters puts in their headline.
Quiescent canines: The Dow Jones found the market hitting historic highs for the fourth day in a row. But Monkeymann can't be bothered with reporting any good economic news. Salacious scenes in James Webb's novels have suddenly become an issue in the Virginia race; somehow that never came up on The Hour of Spin. Wild fires raging through California? No time for that; we need more Madonna news! And "Fat Ass" Olbermann still hasn't apologized for his disgusting smear of Albert Pujols and Chris Mihlfield, lifted from a discredited and retracted blog entry.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name has fallen to #368 in sales at amazon, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is at #14. At Barnes & Noble, the OlbyTome has sunk to an humiliating #2,139, while O'Reilly's best-seller stands at #38. Wednesday Nielsen ratings were not available at posting time, so we'll make them up. Olby finished third again in both total viewers and his coveted, all-important, critical, beloved, key "demo". If the real numbers prove to be otherwise, we will so note.