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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Olby wasted no time in batting clean-up for John Kerry. In the opening spiel he flat-out declared that Kerry was calling the President "stupid", but:
that President's people claim the insult is directed not at the President, but at the troops.
KO went on to suggest that the White House is "stupid" if they think Kerry was referring to the troops. More spielisms: Laura Bush is "in the gutter", and the Clinton/Wallace interview, which has a punchline "you will not believe". Well that's a pretty good bet, considering who's reporting it.
The Hour of Spin proper kicked off with Olbermoronn again insisting that Kerry was calling the administration stupid:
and they were too stupid to know he called them stupid.
Stop the tivo! Herr Olbermann is pulling another fast one here. Consider this:
Democratic U.S. Sen. John Kerry drew election-year fire from President Bush and other Republicans on Tuesday for saying college students could "get stuck in Iraq" if they do not study hard.
That's not from the "stupid" White House. That's from the Reuters news agency. And consider this:
Kerry then told the students that if they were able to navigate the education system, they could get comfortable jobs - "If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq," he said to a mixture of laughter and gasps.
That's not from the "stupid" White House. That's from the Pasadena Star-News, who broke this story. Now how is it that Edward R Olbermann doesn't call them stupid? Why isn't Krazy Keith slamming them all as too "stupid" to know any better?
But we digress. KO gushed over the D-student's hyperbolic press conference and called in his first guest. Milbank, lacking lurid livery, at Herr Olbermann's suggestion, said this is a "made for Fox News" dust-up. Then Krazy Keith's insightful brilliance spotted something:
There seems though to have been a pattern in this administration, uh, criticism of the administration is turned by the administration into criticism of the troops.
Stop the tivo again! How is it that perspicacious Olby spots that pattern, but doesn't seen any pattern by Kerry, like, oh, calling US troops war criminals akin to Genghis Khan, or accusing them of terrorizing innocent women and children? That's not a pattern? Well, not on OlbyPlanet.
Again, we digress. Dana said it's all "pretend" outrage, despite the calls for apologies from the American Legion, Veterans for Freedom and other groups. KO, of course, saw the whole thing as benefitting Democrats (Rule #1: whatever happens, it's bad for the Bush administration), and when Milbank didn't immediately agree, Olby reworded the leading question and took another swing. This time Dana's response more closely comported with Krazy Keith's talking points and he was accordingly great thanksed.
Then it was off for more of those eeevil Republican "scare tactics" and poll numbers. Another great example of Olby Spin: KO read off various poll numbers showing tight races or (D) candidates leading. Until he got to Corker vs Ford, where the (R) was eight points ahead. Quickly Edward R Olbermann moved to insert an addendum he didn't use for any of the other results, adding:
Other polls, however, give Mr Ford the slight edge.
Huh? What other polls would those be? It ain't any of these. Does Krazy Keith have a secret survey that only he knows about? Maybe it's the much-respected poll by the Other Corporation. One might be tempted to say that Olbermann has no "other polls". That he just made it up. But that would make this another Olbermann lie.
So whom does a slovenly political hack call in for an impartial analysis of these numbers? A political strategist for...the Democrats! Yes, Joe Trippi, again hailed by Monkeymann for his "successes" on behalf of President Howard Dean. [Updated: The List] We heard about hollow scare tactics, failed policies, desperation, "stupid", and how, of course, the Kerry kerfuffle is bad for Bush. Naturally, Herr Olbermann plugged his Speshul Komment for tomorrow night, how the President has broken some code or other.
The #4 segment was a rerun of the Today show's free ad for Michael J Fox's political causes, but KO introduced it with shots at Rush Limbaugh and Laura Bush, of all people. The latter dared to state that it's "easy to manipulate people's feelings", and Rev Olbermann was in high dudgeon, because Mrs Bush was now "in the mire". The one-sentence clip was so heavily edited that it was impossible to know if she was referring to Fox, or the campaigns that ran his commercials, or people like Olby who get on their high horse when anyone dares to disagree with someone who has an illness. That sort of free speech (aka dissent) is not permitted on OlbyPlanet..
After an "oddball" that included another attack on Bill O'Reilly (in the blue blog precincts this sort of stuff never gets old), Keith was back with the #3 story: the Bad News in Iraq segment. He claimed US troops were "under the command of Iraqi politicians", which we haven't checked out yet but are willing to bet is another Olbermann lie. (Because our commanders agree to do what the Iraq government wants, that doesn't make the Iraqis "commanders" of the troops.) Brought in to comment on the Pentagon, P.J. Crowley of the far-left "Center for American Progress". Wow, on Countdown you get the full gamut of viewpoints: everything from A to B.
Then it was on to the "unfair, ambush question" asked of B.J. Clinton, which was described by Clinton himself as "a perfectly legitimate question". Yes, Keith Olbermann revisited his great triumph of weeks ago, when he called Chris Wallace, a Jewish journalist, a "monkey", an anti-Semitic term widely used by jihadists. "Fat Ass" Olbermann again repeated his lie that Mr Wallace was violating ground rules of the interview (which specified how much time each subject could be covered, not the chronogical order of the questioning). There was a surprising punch-line to this, Olby claimed, in that Clinton agreed to sign the Fox News Sunday guestbook. This is big news, why? Because it shows B.J. Clinton wasn't as angry as he appeared? Olby didn't mention that possibility. Yes, this was the big story that A-Mess-NBC promoted all day long! KO must really be desperate to ingratiate himself with the Clintonoids. Then: Bob Barker, Madonna, and the #1 story: a treatise on "measuring for drapes". In the Media Matters Minute, some Republican was nominated, as was an abstinence-proponent in HHS.
Muted mongrels: For the second day in a row there was no reporting whatsoever of the air strike at an Al Qaeda training center in Pakistan. Olbermoronn has devoted entire segments to the "failure" of our policy toward North Korea, but he deliberately refused to report on the news that North Korea has given in and will resume six-party talks. KO regurgitated his phony "sandbagging" charge against Chris Wallace, but not a word of criticism for how Wolf Blitzer treated Lynne Cheney. And he still has avoided any mention of Harold Ford's (D) outlandish claim that Democrats love the Lord, but Republicans don't.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #374 in sales at amazon, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" has risen to #8. At Barnes & Noble, the OlbyTome is mired at #2,193, while O'Reilly's best-seller is up to #10. In case you're wondering why Krazy Keith has suddenly found a reason to schedule another Speshul Komment, just look at Monday's numbers. On what is usually his strongest night, Olby found himself back in third place again. Time to mobilize moveon.org and the blue bloggers! Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]