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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Bellowing the opening spiel, Krazy Keith touched on all the key points: Newt and "free speech", "civil war", the Biden plan, the male "pill", and the Bush twins. The spin definitely starts here.
Olbermoronn kicked things off with Newt's comments about free speech and what KO called the terror "bogeyman" (apparently, there is no real terror, it's all fictitious). Somehow Monkeymann managed to get his "habeas corpus" lie into the mix before starting another episode of everyone's favorite sitcom, Olby and the Perfessor. Ironically, Mr Merkle introduced his sidekick by referencing "scare tactics"--ironic, because that's exactly what Turley immediately adopted. This could really happen. People are Pavlovian. Gingrich wants "absolute power". KO said something about getting the full text of the speech, which raises the question: why didn't he just ask Newt to come on and explain himself? Horrors! We can't have that on OlbyPlanet. Instead, Citizen Keith suggested websites will be closed down willy-nilly, and The Perfessor was happy to amplify the paranoia. Scare tactics indeed.
After The Perfessor was great thanksed, lefty Alter joined the party. Many of Gingrich's ideas are "dopey and dangerous". This shows how bad the "climate of fear" is. The "danger" is that if there is another terror attack, people like Gingrich and Rudy Guiliani will "get a big boost". How did Rudy get in there? Now Rudy is dangerous? Why not just go and knife him in the hamstrings? Anyhow, Fat Ass Olbermann invoked his favorite felon, John Dean, talked of "shredding" the constitution, raised scare tactics again, and they yammered a bit about the recent poll on "warmth" of potential future Presidential candidates. According to impartial Alter, Rudy, who finished first, is not well liked, even though he was #1 in the poll. That kind of thinking is pure gold on Countdown, and Alter was, to be sure, great thansked.
#4 brought us the brilliant, imaginative Keith Olbermann yet again invoking the "classic definition of insanity" (for, what, the 89th time?). He naturally applied it to "Mister" Bush for comments on Al Qaeda in Iraq, and ran a clip of Nancy Pelosi citing the 9/11 commission as evidence that Al Qaeda has nothing to do with the violence in Iraq.
Stop the tivo! When did the 9/11 commission meet and decide that the current problems in Iraq had no relation to Al Qaeda? Um, they didn't. The 9/11 commission dealt with Iraq before the liberation. It has made no statement whatsoever that Al Qaeda is not currently fomenting violence there, contrary to Stretch Pelosi's preposterous claim. Now if "Mister" Bush had made such a lame-brained comment, it would be the object of daily ridicule on The Hour of Spin. But Keith Olbermann protects his party leaders, and the incoherence of Pelosi's peculiar statement was completely ignored by Monkeymann. Instead he went to a taped report from the network mothership, and, true to form, when it was over he great thanksed the playback machine.
Another fascinating, Emmy-worthy installment of oddball found Krazy Keith reporting on Christmas lights at the house of one Robert Cox (no, not the Robert Cox). Then it was on to The Biden Plan for Iraq, the familiar divided-in-three proposal. E.J. Dionne gave "perspective". Yawn. KO went on to introduce a taped report on an anti-fertility pill for males. Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann didn't do the story himself; his pharmacological interests are precisely opposite. Next: O.J. Simpson and the Big News that Barbara Walters had a chance at the interview but turned it down (something that Walters herself revealed over a week ago on The Factor). Then the Bush twins compared to Paris Hilton & Britney Spears. The twins were smeared with several reports, each of which has been denied by the parties involved (a hotel and the American Embassy), but unconfirmed rumors are coin of the realm on The Hour of Spin. The inimitable Mo Rocca gave his usual performance, which is to say it was about 1/5 as funny as a Michael Richards stand-up.
In the Media Matters Minute, Cal Thomas finally got a nomination for the distinguished journalism award he gave to Krazy Keith. Aw, they spelled Olby's name wrong. Poor baby. The Christian Coalition got a nod too, but O'Reilly was the "worst person" (all slots filled once again). His crime was reporting a statement, confirmed, by Crate & Barrell about their employees not saying "Merry Christmas". KO lifted from ThinkProgress (without attribution) a later, backpedalling followup from the C&B spokesman--as if Mr Bill was supposed to have known about the second statement before it was even made! Such is the desperation to feed the greatest Olbsession of them all.
Dogs that did not bark: Edward R Olbermann has studiously avoided reporting on Nancy Pelosi's move to keep the impeached Alcee Hastings from becoming Intelligence Committee Chairman--but he's been ducking that controversy all along, for obvious reasons. Herr Olbermann was happy to trumpet the cause of Imams removed from a plane for "flying while Muslim", but has neatly sidestepped reporting any of the new information that has emerged in that case. And still KO refuses to tell his viewers how Jack Abramoff has pointed the finger of corruption at none other than Sen Harry Reid.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #398 at amazon, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" has risen to #16. At Barnes & Noble the OlbyTome languishes at #1,705, while O'Reilly's book is #19. And nine weeks since it hit the stores, Mr Bill's literary triumph is still #3 on the New York Times Best Sellers list. With no ratings available for Monday night, we will, as usual, make them up, and declare that KO was in his customary third place position, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]