The task of selecting which Olbermann lies are the top ten of 2006 was a daunting one. A preliminary scan of the year's programs turned up 100+ candidates for the list. So to prune down the possibilities, and in the interest of fairness, we tossed out any falsehoods that were specifically acknowledged and corrected by Keith Olbermann. That left 100+ candidates for the list. But now the hours of research and review are completed, and we are pleased to present the official Olbermann Watch list of Keith Olbermann's top ten lies of 2006.
#10: To hear Keith Olbermann tell it, ratings are irrelevant. They don't prove a thing. As he famously said, "800 billion flies can't be wrong". But this is artificial bravado. KO is so preoccupied with numbers that he fabricates them. He'll blithely claim that his ratings are up a third or that they have risen to two-thirds of O'Reilly's, both false. The #10 entry in our Countdown of calumny is a pair of shameless lies Keith concoted to artifically inflate his own miserable viewership. The MSM never fact-checks his wild allegations. We did.
#9: Olbermann quit his first job at A-Mess-NBC because he didn't like covering the investigations and impeachment proceedings against Bill Jefferson Clinton. And when B.J. was a subject of controversy this year, Herr Olbermann rushed to the defense of his sacred cow. When an interviewer asked what Clinton himself deemed a "fair question", Olby frantically went on the attack against that "monkey" Chris Wallace. KO blustered preposterously that the veteran newsman sandbagged the President and tried to shift the blame for 9/11. He went so far as to falsely allege that Wallace had violated ground rules for the interview. But our #9 is Keith's preemptive attack on the Path to 9/11 movie. The film, he declared, puts the blame for 9/11 on "Democrats and Democrats alone". Even Olbypologists can't defend this brazen lie unless, like Keith, they never watched the movie.
#8: On OlbyPlanet, one of the best motives to avoid telling the truth is the traditional one: CYA. Krazy Keith will go to any lengths to make himself look good, and to cover up his transgressions. That's why he can smear two ball players, lie about everybody from Condi Rice to Catherine McPhee, and never admit he was wrong. Which brings us to #8: when rape charges in the Duke case were dropped, Keith Olbermann invented a fanciful tale about how Countdown only reported on it once. What's more, while "everyone else" was assuming the players to be guilty, he was the only one who spotted the weakness of the case against them. Har.
#7: The first rule of a journalist is "get it right". Since Keith Olbermann is no journalist, this rule obviously doesn't apply. Especially when it comes to quotes. To Krazy Keith, quotations are fungible: made to be sliced, diced, pureed, and reassembled at will. He can tamper with the words of Robert Novak and Patrick Fitzgerald, falsify the State of the Union address, and misrepresent statements by Ann Coulter or Laura Bush. And of course there's always David Shuster, ready to doctor a taped interview to make it more favorable to the Democrats. But this year's premier example takes the #7 position: Olbermann's slice-and-dice falsification of a comment by Brit Hume. KO took a Hume remark about event A and claimed it was said at an entirely different time about event B. His mock outrage and supercilious arrogance are that much funnier when we know he was lying through his wig.
#6: "The infamous, deplorable Matt Drudge". He has long been a favorite target of Olbermann's slanders. Sometimes it's nothing more than coy insinuations about lifestyle. More often it's just more Olbermann lies, as when he blasted Drudge for making up a story about Al Gore taking multiple cars to a movie event. Only Drudge didn't make it up at all. The classic exemplar that is #6 on our hit parade: an ABC employee's email was leaked to Drudge by the White House. There was no evidence, no source, no report that verified this fabrication. Olby got this information from his favorite wellspring: he pulled it out of his ass. It turned out the leak came not from the White House, but from a disgruntled ABC employee, and, deservedly, Matt Drudge had the last laugh.
#5: If Monkeymann has a jihad going against Drudge, it's nothing compared to his all-consuming Olbsession over his bete-noir, Bill O'Reilly. Keith has been lying about Bill for years (example: this whopper from 2004). But 2006 has been a banner year: lies about the Al Franken lawsuit, Bill's book, and even what search engines turn up. Our #5 entry is a typical Olbermoronn falsehood. KO blasted O'Reilly, called names and hurled insults, all over an alleged statement that in fact Bill O'Reilly never said. But remember, Keith boasts he's never said anything factually inaccurate about O'Reilly. Right.
#4: Keith Olbermann claims to be "nonpartisan", despite the people he interviews. Yet whatever the hot issue is on the blue blogs, whatever the DNC talking points happen to be, there you will find Citizen Keith, shill-in-chief. Olby makes up a story about three "neocons" calling for the US to enter the war in Lebanon, uniquely characterized by KO as a pre-emptive war by Israel. Then a document called the National Intelligence Estimate drove Keith to new heights of dissimulation. To hype The Great Leak case, Monkeymann claimed that Libby had authority to release classified information. In truth, that authority dealt solely with the NIE, not the leak case at all. But the best was yet to come, and it's our #4. When Olby (and his sidekick slippery Shuster) got around to actually talking about the NIE, they both lied about what was and wasn't in it. "Nonpartisan" Keith at his most biased.
#3: You know there had to be more than one entry dedicated to Ahab Olbermann's fixation on Bill O'Reilly. A typical trick is to lift something from Media Matters, juice it up with name calling and personal attacks, and then fire at will. That doesn't always work, like the time he bellowed at Mr Bill that he's a "holy you-know-what liar", when he wasn't. But it was one of Herr Olbermann's most grandiose smears that earned the #3 spot on our countdown. Bill O'Reilly slandered US troops. Bill defended stormtroopers and said the Nazis were the victims in World War II. The Great Malmedy Calumny twisted O'Reilly's words into a rhetorical pretzel, but it was all a tawdry, dishonest defamation. The intellectual bankruptcy of Olby's case was made even more apparent with his barefaced lies about the transcript, another example of Edward R Olbermann pulling "facts" out of his rear.
#2: There is nothing so stubborn as OlbySpin. Once the infamous, deplorable one gets an idea in his head, no facts need apply. He railed against General Hayden's supposed "mistake" regarding the constitutional standard for searches, and continued to flog this phony talking point despite the fact that it was KO who was wrong. This intransigence of inaccuracy reached a zenith with Krazy Keith's reckless demagoguery about "habeas corpus". The new law means "you" can be arrested and held forever without seeing a judge. Just on his whim, "Mister" Bush can "put you in jail and throw away the key". The law "does away with habeas corpus". The truth? No US citizen's habeas corpus rights have been done away with, lessened, or changed in any way. It's in the law. Tell a lie. Tell it big. Tell it again. This year's #2 from Olbermann's Ministry of Propaganda.
And the #1 Olbermann lie of 2006:
#1: This was a tough call. There was just so much to pick from. But a lie this shameless and impudent deserves pride of place. The subject matter was another eeevil Fox employee: John Gibson. Gibby was never entirely off of Olby's radar. KO chortled as he distorted Gibson's words to claim the guy favored massacres. Krazy Keith had to rewrite what Gibson said to justify another cheap shot. But then Mr Gibson went too far. He dared to speak out when he caught Keith Olbermann in a lie. Olby was in a bind. How could he respond to Gibby when every word Gibby spoke was true? The solution: the Double-Helix Self-Referential Olbermann lie. Keith lied about John Gibson, and to do so, lied about himself to cover up the original lie caught by Gibson. Confused? That's exactly what Fat Ass was counting on, but it was all caught on tape. Keith Olbermann's double fabrication, in the face of conclusive proof via transcripts, audio, and video clips, was so flagrant that it virtually cried out to be named Keith's #1 lie of 2006. And so it is.
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - DECEMBER 27, 2006
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
PRESIDENT FORD'S PASSING: Andrea Mitchell, MSNBC Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent; John Robert Greene, The Presidency of Gerald R. Ford
FORD: THE LEGACY: MSNBC Political Analyst Pat Buchanan
POLITICS TODAY, JOHN EDWARDS ANNOUNCES HIS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDACY; Richard Wolffe, Newsweek Chief White House Correspondent and MSNBC Political Analyst
For a while it seemed Keith would be on his best behavior, but then the OlbySpin phrases started to appear: a reference to Bush's "seemingly endless rethinking of Iraq", an aside about whether the Warren Commission wasn't really a "coverup".
Ex-Republican Pat Buchanan was brought in to expound on--what else?--the "neocons" and the wrongness of the Iraq war. Then Pat moved to why he split with Ford to back Reagan, and you could hear Citizen Keith groaning in the background.
With The Wolffe Man, Herr Olbermann characterized "Mister" Bush's upcoming change of plan for Iraq as a "lose-lose" proposition (gilding the lily by nonsensically calling it "the proverbial" lose-lose). KO expressed hope that the Democrats would trumpet the fact that "Mister" Bush has caused more American deaths than Usama Bin Laden did. Which might make sense if the only people UBL killed were killed on 9/11, and if mass murder of innocents were somehow morally equivalent to casualties in a volunteer military during war time. But such fine points are never allowed to interfere with OlbySpin. Finally The Hour of Spin ended, and Krazy Keith tossed it to Joe Scarborough, who kicked off his hour of Gerald Ford reminiscences by asking: "Is President Bush cracking under pressure?" Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [GUARDED]
UPDATE: This "special" edition of The Hour of Spin wasn't all that special as far as viewers were concerned. Despite all the promotion and the big news of Ford's death, Countdown lost to The Kasich Factor by three-to-one, and finished in fourth place both in total viewers and in the all-important, coveted "key demo".
Repeat a lie often enough, and people will start to believe it. That's doubly true of Olbypologists who swallow every regurgitated line from the infamous, deplorable one. So it's no surprise that, even after he's been caught, and just three days before Christmas, Monkeymann still thinks he can get away with rewriting history.
Just a few days ago we documented Herr Olbermann's attempt to make himself look good by misrepresenting what he said on his own "news" program. Today, discussing the Duke rape case with Dan Patrick on ESPN radio, Krazy Keith did it again:
We only covered this story once on Countdown.
Not content with reiterating this blatant lie, Citizen Keith went even further. In an attempt to puff himself up by disparaging others, he made the preposterous claim that he was the lone observer perceptive enough to see the "murkiness" of the case:
The other cable outfits just did it to death, uh, with the assumption that these guys were guilty. And I think everybody has treated this with the assumption that these guys were guilty of the worst, worst of the possible crimes.
Say what?!? Either the air is thinner than ever on OlbyPlanet, or the guy is certifiably delusional. Or...it's just Another Olbermann Lie.
A prominent national broadcaster today described Keith Olbermann as a "traitor" and called for the infamous, deplorable one to be arrested and placed in a detention camp. We have not yet heard from Attorney General Gonzales on this development, but we are confident that he will give it the attention it deserves. A QuickTime video clip follows for your viewing pleasure.
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - DECEMBER 18-29, 2006
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (Dec 18-29, 8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Reruns of Keith Olbermann's Speshul Komments and Best of Oddball
Monkeymann wants a paycheck that's big.
To make sure Abrams doesn't renege,
In the tub Keith will soak.
For two weeks? What a joke.
Don't splash water and ruin your wig!
Olbermann and MSNBC are knocking heads over a new contract. The controversial host of Countdown With Keith Olbermann is said to be seeking "north of $4 million" a year, according to an industry source, to re-up on his pact that comes due in April. That would represent roughly a four-fold increase over his current deal, believed to be in the $1 million-per-year range.
Vote in our new online poll (see right rail): "How much is Keith Olbermann worth to MSNBC?"
Question: How much is Keith Olbermann worth to MSNBC?
- $4 million a year sounds about right
- $1 million a year, his current contract, was fair
- Keith is priceless, give him whatever he wants
-Keith is worthless, fire him
Previous Question: How did KO do as Election Night co-host?
The correct answer was "C. Terrible, a fish out of water"
Summary:
8,051 answers have been submitted.
A. Great, our Edward R. Murrow 88% (7120 votes)
B. OK, no harm, no foul 1% (137 votes)
C. Terrible, a fish out of water 4% (324 votes)
D. No idea, did not watch MSNBC 5% (470 votes)
We have spent so much time documenting the hypocrisy and lies of Keith Olbermann that it almost seems like old news when another example manifests itself. But when someone is as self-aggrandizing and reckless as the discredited sports guy, we just cannot give him a free pass. In this instance, Olby's been caught rewriting history. Again.
This is nothing new for the infamous, deplorable one. It wasn't that long ago that Keith lied about his own words, in order to justify lying about John Gibson. It takes some chutzpah, and a whole lot of desperation, to prevaricate about something that millions of people saw, and is preserved on audio and video. But Krazy Keith will stop at nothing to make himself look good.
Now he has pulled the same trick yet again. On ESPN radio Thursday, there was some discussion about the Duke rape accusations. Olbermann alleged that from Day One he could tell that the case was a mess, and a bunch of people were lying. At this point he's on safe ground. It's more routine self-promotion, of the sort Krazy Keith is known for. Who can disprove what he claims he was thinking?
But like all dissemblers, Herr Olbermann wasn't content to leave it at that. Possibly realizing how self-serving his words sounded, he elaborated further, and in doing so walked into another propellor:
There's a reason we did this story I think once on the newscast, on Countdown. Once. And then said, you know what, this is a really dodgy story.
And because Keith's never misses an opportunity to pat himself on the back, the next day he reiterated his claim:
I think we did one report on this story and then left it alone.
Those are Keith Olbermann's words. Here is the truth:
March 30: Our number two story in the COUNTDOWN tonight, a nightmare at Duke and there are racial overtones, as well.
April 10: The season canceled, the coach resigned, 46 DNA tests of every white player on the team. And, in our number-two story on the COUNTDOWN, every one of them, all 46 DNA tests today came back negative, no match.
April 13: Dan Abrams, host of MSNBC's "The Abrams Report" has been breaking news from Durham, North Carolina, on this one all day on this. He joins us now.
April 17: One month and four days after allegations of a gang rape at Duke University, no charges had been brought. Our number-two story on the COUNTDOWN, that has now changed...
April 18: Our number two story on the COUNTDOWN as the names of the two university lacrosse players indicted in the case were revealed.
Maybe there were more--we stopped at five. Yet Keith Olbermann now claims that he covered it "once" and quit, because he could tell immediately that the case was "dodgy". Right.
Imagine how Monkeymann would cackle if he had caught his nemesis pulling a stunt like this. It would be fodder for days. But on OlbyPlanet, hypocrisy and lies are coin of the realm.
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - DECEMBER 15, 2006
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
THE CHANGING FACE OF THE ADMINISTRATION: Craig Crawford, Congressional Quarterly columnist and MSNBC political analyst
Ho hum. Another Countdown, another opening spiel: Rummy's last day, Tim Johnson update, Tony Snow apologizes (didn't he just do this yesterday?) and what the "right wing" says about it, Laura "disses" Condi, and 2006's favorite baby names. We suspect that "Keith" is way down on that list. But on to a farcical Hour of Spin that found Olbermoronn seizing on the most trivial possible concerns in a manner so desperate that it approached self-parody.
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann started out by rattling off past Secretaries of Defense, asking how soon before Rummy "is forgotten". His departure ceremony looked like it took place "in an alternate universe". Hey, leave OlbyPlanet out of this! Then it was on to why is "Mister" Cheney not speaking more. Yeah, that's the burning question that's on the lips of everyone from coast to coast.
Enter Dana Milbank, shorn of screwy shrouds. Herr Olbermann immediately launched into a classic leading question, invoking Rule #1 (it's bad for Bush or Republicans) while simultaneously advancing every principle of OlbySpin:
With the nation at war, giving every indication that the nation will stay at war for some time to come, in, in which universe does it help "Mister" Bush to say that he is not losing any sleep at night?
No, we're not making this up. Krazy Keith's lead story is that the President is in political trouble because he doesn't have insomnia! Even DM had to chuckle at the insipid doltishness of that query, and it was left to whatever reporter's bones that haven't been compromised by appearances on The Hour of Spin for Dana to point out that Bush said that because he was asked if he uses sleeping pills. Gawd, this all-consuming mystery has finally been cleared up!
KO, of course, who bashes other people for wishing ill on their political opponents, came right back with: "There's always pretzels". A class guy. He went on to call the departure ceremony a "coronation". You can tell this is a Friday and Monkeymann is desperate. What, they shouldn't have a brass band? Maybe just an organ grinder and a monkey? This is what The Future of Television is reduced to kvetching about? Then Olby got into another earth-shaking controversy about an old Time Man of the Year cover, because the White House is "grasping at straws", and...and...forget it. It was all just too mind-numbingly surreal to waste our valuable server space on. Dana was great thanksed, presumably for not erupting in derisive laughter at the inanity of the questions.
Then it was back to yesterday's news, Tony Snow's apology to David Gregory. Craig Crawford, aka Olbermann's Brain, was dragged in to explain why the "right-wing media" haven't given this Great Moment in History sufficient coverage. Brain chortled that he was "stunned" by the apology, and snickered that "the public's getting on to this game". KO went back to the "allies of the White House" who attacked NBC, and while he tried several times to get Brain to elaborate on the "right-wing media" who weren't covering the apology, neither of them gave one single example. In fact, the only example Brain gave was of an unnamed member of the "right-wing media" that did cover it. Long story short, Herr Olbermann's entire premise was false, unproven, and a prime exemplification of OlbySpin.
After great thanksing Brain there was a brief update about "signs of improvement" for Sen Johnson, who may "shortly return to the Senate". Ahem, when Slippery Shuster was citing his "sources" and intoning gloom and doom for the Senator's health on Monday, we immediately noted that was probably the best news Johnson could hear. Shuster wrong again? How about that.
#4: Laura Bush's interview with People magazine, which Olbermoronn deliberately misrepresented to create a titillating headline. When asked about Condi Rice running for President, Laura said she didn't think Condi would run:
Probably because she is single, her parents are no longer living, she's an only child. You need a very supportive family and supportive friends to do this job.
Here is how Olbermann reported Mrs Bush's answer:
The answer is simple: she has not got a man.
Gee, now what do you suppose the slovenly political hack was implying with that? Does Keith Olbermann get more repellent and despicable every day? Please, do not flood us with emails. Rhetorical question only. Leftist Margaret Carlson entered to take Olby's absurd hypothesis to new heights of pseudo-intellectual armchair psychoanlysis. Mrs Bush thinks being single is "a terrible thing". She sounds like she thinks "these are pathetic things to be". Condi is "the daughter that Bush doesn't have". All but giving a wink and a nod to the camera, she added that among "family values" types, being unmarried at that age is "odd" and "they don't know where to place you". KO added that the "right-wing media" (obviously The Phrase of the Night) would have condemned Hillary if she had said what Laura said. Which might be why the left-wing media (Olby) condemned Laura.
Yes, we have graduated from the eeevils of a President who doesn't suffer from insomnia to a First Lady who thinks family and friends are a good thing. What will be the next explosive scandal to be exposed to the world by Fat Ass Olbermann?
#3: Mid-air collision (two servings of regurgitated video from NBC). #2: Missing mountain climbers (more reruns), Buck O'Neil, Oprah. #1: The top baby names.
In the Media Matters Minute, Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann attacked Fred Barnes (conservative) for saying that doctors' public reports on politicians are sometimes not true. Oddly, KO did not include Slippery Shuster, who on Wednesday was far more of a doomsayer than Fred was. This would be Olbypocrisy Example #529.
Then it was on to an O'Reilly attack, something he said about Toys for Tots and Seattle that was "flat out lying again". But great researcher Olbermann left a few things out. He didn't directly quote O'Reilly. He didn't state where O'Reilly said it, or when. You'd think this info would be easy to lift from Media Matters, but it turns out they have nothing on this alleged statement. Neither does another favorite source: ThinkProgress. How could they both have missed this? So whom did Keith lift it from, without attribution? Surprise, it was another blue blog: HuffPo. And guess what? The writer there also gave no source, no time frame, and no venue. And with Mr Bill not even on the air yesterday or today...well, color us skeptical. Come up with some documentation or proof, Fat Ass. You've lied about O'Reilly so many times that's the least you could do.
Silent schnauzers: Edward R Olbermann continues to ignore what appears to be a prima facie case of prosecutorial misconduct in the Duke LaCrosse matter. Need we point out that the prosecutor in question is a (D)? (The discredited sports guy has even invented a self-serving explanation of his handling of this story. Unfortunately at its heart it's just another Olbermann lie, which we shall dissect in a separate post.) Dozens of Pakistanis were arrested trying to sneak into the US under false pretenses. Olby won't tell you about it because he's too busy denying that terror threats require border security. Sales better than expected catapulting the market to another all time high? Nah, that's not news on The Hour of Spin. Still not even a "worst person" nomination for Joy Behar, and nothing on the FBI alert issued on news of the blind sheik's ill health. Finally, KO has yet to tell his viewers how Jack Abramoff implicated Sen Harry Reid.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is down to #364 at amazon, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is #16. The OlbyTome stands at #1,706 at Barnes & Noble, but O'Reilly's book is #21, and is #3 on the New York Times Best Sellers List. In the Thursday cable news race, Herr Olbermann was not up against his nemesis, but even so, The Kasich Factor beat Olby by more than two to one, though with Mr Bill off on assignment, the discreted sports guy did manage second place, even in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - DECEMBER 14, 2006
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
BALANCE OF POWER: Chris Cillizza, washingtonpost.com
Keith delivered a somewhat underpowered opening spiel: Sen Johnson's brain surgery, the Dems plan investigations, candidates in Iraq, the Diana investigation, the latest from Jib-Jab, and more. KO served up the latest on the stricken Senator, with some help from Chip Reid. Thus began an Hour of Spin that would prove to be even more boring than it was tendentious.
After some name-dropping (Ooooh! I just spoke with Hillary Clinton!), Krazy Keith turned to the Dems plans for "oversight" and "ethics". Needless to say, no mention was made of the ethics questions raised about Reps Jefferson (D), Mollohan (D), or Murtha (D). Then KO went to another of his impartial, nonpartisan "reporters" for "analysis". Oh boy, here we go again.
Yes, none other than Slippery Shuster, who kicked things off by comparing upcoming Dem investigations to "turning over a rock" and finding a "worm". Taking a leaf from the all-important (to Keith, anyhow) blue blogs, Monkeymann put forward the notion that the Dem plans are "not ambitious enough", Slippery waved the fright wig ("Halliburton!"), and great thanks followed.
#4 Political candidates go to Iraq, which quickly morphed into people (like Senators) attempting to "forge genuine diplomatic connections" (with our enemies) "being attacked by the White House". Earth to Olbermoronn: perhaps that's because diplomacy is the job of the executive branch, Einstein. We don't have 435 Secretaries of State and 435 unique foreign policies.
In the next segment, it was Princess Di and the conspiracies that swirl thereabout. After mispronouncing "clandestine" (as he has every time he has used the word), KO introduced some rerun video from NBC, followed by a talk with Gerald Posner. A knowledgeable guest, but it was still a yawn. #2: Jib-Jab's latest video, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, Joe Francis. #1: Celebrities hired for Christmas parties (with Jeffrey Ross and entirely too much phony, forced laughter from the infamous, deplorable one). In the Media Matters Minute, Citizen Keith managed to attack Fox, and Michael Crichton (semi-conservative). What happened to Billo? Didn't Media Matters post anything on him? Well actually they did, but it came too late for Olby's writers to insert it into his copy. So, will this item appear in KO's next Media Matters Minute? Is the Pope Catholic?
Muted mongrels: It's ironic that yesterday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann dedicated an entire segment of the show to clips from Tony Snow answering "I don't know" to various questions. Ironic because Edward R Olbermann still has said nothing about the miserably uninformed chairman-designate of the Intelligence Committee. Another historic high for the Dow Jones? Not on The Hour of Spin. KO has
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