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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
KO bellowed the opening spiel: Tim Johnson's health, a possible Republican replacement, "Mister" Bush rumored to be planning "not less [sic] troops in Iraq but more" (Olby's Murrow-like command of the English language never fails to impress), Rummy's farewell interview, Tony Snow, and The Great Paula Shore Controversy. You just can't get this stuff anywhere else.
The Hour of Spin began with the latest on Sen Johnson, with Olby already raising red flags about a Republican governor who might just end up appointing his replacement. Slippery Shuster showed up, and in what may be the best possible news for Johnson, reported that his sources told him "the Senator's health is not good". KO tipped off his party on how to handle the situation, noting that there is no way a Senator who is incapacitated can be forced out of his office and thus replaced. The two of them gloomily talked over the scenario of the GOP taking back the Senate, and a good time was not had by all. Slippery was great thanksed.
Then it was on to rumors of "doubling down" in Iraq. Yesterday's news, but it filled a few minutes on Countdown. If you wonder why we have a "Mister" Meter, consider that the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann here quoted from a Los Angeles Times article, and changed its wording so it would read "Mister" Bush.
After the obligatory bad poll numbers, The Wolffe Man crept onto the scene. Monkeymann claimed "Mister" Bush "does not value the opinion" of people who disagree with him (doesn't it sound like Olby is talking about himself?), and blamed the possible shift in tactics on "the neocons at The Weekly Standard". Them damn neocon monkeys! Oops, Wolffie didn't agree. KO suggested that Bush shouldn't send more troops because that's not what the opinion polls favor. Insightful analysis there by the discredited sports guy. Maybe A-Mess-NBC should stop running The Hour of Spin because it's not what the opinion polls (ratings) favor. That's our Olbermann: way down deep, he's shallow.
After great thanksing the Wolffe Man, Olby turned to "mouthpiece" Tony Snow, devoting an entire segment (titled "Snow Job") to the fact that among thousands and thousands of responses, he allegedly said "I don't know" 400 times. Another frenetic oddball preceded a newsmaker item about "George Lukas" of "Star Wars" fame. Lukas? Is that the same sort of alternate spelling (like "Olberman") that leads KO to hand out a "worst person" nomination? Heh.
The #3 story was about Rummy, and since he's leaving Olby has to take every possible opportunity to attack him. He tried to pick some nits between two different versions of the Rummy resignation, and dragged in Lawrence Korb. As always, Larry was described as a "Pentagon veteran from the Reagan administration". Fat Ass uses that to imply that he's some sort of conservative or Reaganite, when he's actually no more a Reagan Republican than David Brock. If he were, he wouldn't be in the Countdown Seat of Honor. When the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann actually suggested that instead of leading a war on terror, Rumsfeld should have just "wrapped up the group of 40 to 50,000 who attacked us", it was clear this partisan propaganda palaver had definitely jumped the shark.
#2: Rollover crashes (regurgitated NBC video), Britney Spears, K-Fed, Peter Boyle. #1: Pauly Shore! In the Media Matters Minute, there was nothing much. You see, the upcoming
Christmas Festivus holiday is leaving the Soros site shorthanded, and there just hasn't been anything there about O'Reilly lately. And if Brock doesn't do his research for him, Herr Olbermann can't be bothered to do it for himself.
Muted mongrels: Given that A-Mess-NBC has a whole staff of retired generals who serve as analysts, why is it that Monkeymann has not turned to either General McCaffrey or Gen Downing, both of whom met with the President regarding his Iraq policy? Instead of guessing how that meeting went, wouldn't they be able to give Keith first-hand information? Couldn't they explicate the reasons why they recommended the increase in troops? Sorry gentlemen. You've made the sort of heretical statements that just drive Olbermoronn crazy. Get the picture? McCaffrey and Downing agree with the President's reported change in tactics. So they ain't gonna be allowed on Countdown to say so. The Iranian convention of holocaust-deniers went unmentioned for yet another day. Krazy Keith has reported on the ethics committee Foley report, but, like the slovenly political hack that he is, he left something out. He still has said nothing about the miserably uninformed chairman-designate of the Intelligence Committee, nothing on the Jimmy Carter plagiarism controversy, and to be sure not a word about the round up of illegal aliens involved in a massive case of identity theft. No time for any of that--we need more Pauly Shore! Finally, KO has yet to tell his viewers how Jack Abramoff implicated Sen Harry Reid.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name fell to #468 at amazon, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" rose to #19. The OlbyTome sunk to #1,723 at Barnes & Noble, but O'Reilly's book is up to #17. Tuesday's numbers must have brought a grim dose of reality to the Hour of Spin gang. Once again Olby was relegated to an ignominious fourth place, losing to The Factor, Paula Zahn, and a rerun of Deal or No Deal, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]