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The task of selecting which Olbermann lies are the top ten of 2006 was a daunting one. A preliminary scan of the year's programs turned up 100+ candidates for the list. So to prune down the possibilities, and in the interest of fairness, we tossed out any falsehoods that were specifically acknowledged and corrected by Keith Olbermann. That left 100+ candidates for the list. But now the hours of research and review are completed, and we are pleased to present the official Olbermann Watch list of Keith Olbermann's top ten lies of 2006.
#10: To hear Keith Olbermann tell it, ratings are irrelevant. They don't prove a thing. As he famously said, "800 billion flies can't be wrong". But this is artificial bravado. KO is so preoccupied with numbers that he fabricates them. He'll blithely claim that his ratings are up a third or that they have risen to two-thirds of O'Reilly's, both false. The #10 entry in our Countdown of calumny is a pair of shameless lies Keith concoted to artifically inflate his own miserable viewership. The MSM never fact-checks his wild allegations. We did.
#9: Olbermann quit his first job at A-Mess-NBC because he didn't like covering the investigations and impeachment proceedings against Bill Jefferson Clinton. And when B.J. was a subject of controversy this year, Herr Olbermann rushed to the defense of his sacred cow. When an interviewer asked what Clinton himself deemed a "fair question", Olby frantically went on the attack against that "monkey" Chris Wallace. KO blustered preposterously that the veteran newsman sandbagged the President and tried to shift the blame for 9/11. He went so far as to falsely allege that Wallace had violated ground rules for the interview. But our #9 is Keith's preemptive attack on the Path to 9/11 movie. The film, he declared, puts the blame for 9/11 on "Democrats and Democrats alone". Even Olbypologists can't defend this brazen lie unless, like Keith, they never watched the movie.
#8: On OlbyPlanet, one of the best motives to avoid telling the truth is the traditional one: CYA. Krazy Keith will go to any lengths to make himself look good, and to cover up his transgressions. That's why he can smear two ball players, lie about everybody from Condi Rice to Catherine McPhee, and never admit he was wrong. Which brings us to #8: when rape charges in the Duke case were dropped, Keith Olbermann invented a fanciful tale about how Countdown only reported on it once. What's more, while "everyone else" was assuming the players to be guilty, he was the only one who spotted the weakness of the case against them. Har.
#7: The first rule of a journalist is "get it right". Since Keith Olbermann is no journalist, this rule obviously doesn't apply. Especially when it comes to quotes. To Krazy Keith, quotations are fungible: made to be sliced, diced, pureed, and reassembled at will. He can tamper with the words of Robert Novak and Patrick Fitzgerald, falsify the State of the Union address, and misrepresent statements by Ann Coulter or Laura Bush. And of course there's always David Shuster, ready to doctor a taped interview to make it more favorable to the Democrats. But this year's premier example takes the #7 position: Olbermann's slice-and-dice falsification of a comment by Brit Hume. KO took a Hume remark about event A and claimed it was said at an entirely different time about event B. His mock outrage and supercilious arrogance are that much funnier when we know he was lying through his wig.
#6: "The infamous, deplorable Matt Drudge". He has long been a favorite target of Olbermann's slanders. Sometimes it's nothing more than coy insinuations about lifestyle. More often it's just more Olbermann lies, as when he blasted Drudge for making up a story about Al Gore taking multiple cars to a movie event. Only Drudge didn't make it up at all. The classic exemplar that is #6 on our hit parade: an ABC employee's email was leaked to Drudge by the White House. There was no evidence, no source, no report that verified this fabrication. Olby got this information from his favorite wellspring: he pulled it out of his ass. It turned out the leak came not from the White House, but from a disgruntled ABC employee, and, deservedly, Matt Drudge had the last laugh.
#5: If Monkeymann has a jihad going against Drudge, it's nothing compared to his all-consuming Olbsession over his bete-noir, Bill O'Reilly. Keith has been lying about Bill for years (example: this whopper from 2004). But 2006 has been a banner year: lies about the Al Franken lawsuit, Bill's book, and even what search engines turn up. Our #5 entry is a typical Olbermoronn falsehood. KO blasted O'Reilly, called names and hurled insults, all over an alleged statement that in fact Bill O'Reilly never said. But remember, Keith boasts he's never said anything factually inaccurate about O'Reilly. Right.
#4: Keith Olbermann claims to be "nonpartisan", despite the people he interviews. Yet whatever the hot issue is on the blue blogs, whatever the DNC talking points happen to be, there you will find Citizen Keith, shill-in-chief. Olby makes up a story about three "neocons" calling for the US to enter the war in Lebanon, uniquely characterized by KO as a pre-emptive war by Israel. Then a document called the National Intelligence Estimate drove Keith to new heights of dissimulation. To hype The Great Leak case, Monkeymann claimed that Libby had authority to release classified information. In truth, that authority dealt solely with the NIE, not the leak case at all. But the best was yet to come, and it's our #4. When Olby (and his sidekick slippery Shuster) got around to actually talking about the NIE, they both lied about what was and wasn't in it. "Nonpartisan" Keith at his most biased.
#3: You know there had to be more than one entry dedicated to Ahab Olbermann's fixation on Bill O'Reilly. A typical trick is to lift something from Media Matters, juice it up with name calling and personal attacks, and then fire at will. That doesn't always work, like the time he bellowed at Mr Bill that he's a "holy you-know-what liar", when he wasn't. But it was one of Herr Olbermann's most grandiose smears that earned the #3 spot on our countdown. Bill O'Reilly slandered US troops. Bill defended stormtroopers and said the Nazis were the victims in World War II. The Great Malmedy Calumny twisted O'Reilly's words into a rhetorical pretzel, but it was all a tawdry, dishonest defamation. The intellectual bankruptcy of Olby's case was made even more apparent with his barefaced lies about the transcript, another example of Edward R Olbermann pulling "facts" out of his rear.
#2: There is nothing so stubborn as OlbySpin. Once the infamous, deplorable one gets an idea in his head, no facts need apply. He railed against General Hayden's supposed "mistake" regarding the constitutional standard for searches, and continued to flog this phony talking point despite the fact that it was KO who was wrong. This intransigence of inaccuracy reached a zenith with Krazy Keith's reckless demagoguery about "habeas corpus". The new law means "you" can be arrested and held forever without seeing a judge. Just on his whim, "Mister" Bush can "put you in jail and throw away the key". The law "does away with habeas corpus". The truth? No US citizen's habeas corpus rights have been done away with, lessened, or changed in any way. It's in the law. Tell a lie. Tell it big. Tell it again. This year's #2 from Olbermann's Ministry of Propaganda.
And the #1 Olbermann lie of 2006:
#1: This was a tough call. There was just so much to pick from. But a lie this shameless and impudent deserves pride of place. The subject matter was another eeevil Fox employee: John Gibson. Gibby was never entirely off of Olby's radar. KO chortled as he distorted Gibson's words to claim the guy favored massacres. Krazy Keith had to rewrite what Gibson said to justify another cheap shot. But then Mr Gibson went too far. He dared to speak out when he caught Keith Olbermann in a lie. Olby was in a bind. How could he respond to Gibby when every word Gibby spoke was true? The solution: the Double-Helix Self-Referential Olbermann lie. Keith lied about John Gibson, and to do so, lied about himself to cover up the original lie caught by Gibson. Confused? That's exactly what Fat Ass was counting on, but it was all caught on tape. Keith Olbermann's double fabrication, in the face of conclusive proof via transcripts, audio, and video clips, was so flagrant that it virtually cried out to be named Keith's #1 lie of 2006. And so it is.