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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The spin started in the opening spiel: the President is being "partisan" and is telling Dems "agree with him or else". Plus the old "signing statement" bugaboo, the "enduring nightmare" of Saddam's execution, and Britney. An auspicious opening to another stunning edition of The Hour of Spin.
It only took moments for Herr Olbermann to call "Mister" Bush "Orwellian" ("Nixonian" had the night off). The excuse was the President's WSJ Op-Ed, which he "rehashed" in the Rose Garden ("regurgitated" also had the night off). After the obligatory press-vs-Snow clippage, in slithered Howard Fineman, Pundit for All Occasions. Howie was obsequious to the max in echoing OlbySpin (Bush is being "partisan"), as Olby made the evening's most absurd observation: Bush has no business being against earmarks because the surge in Iraq is "Bush's own personal earmark". Howie made a half-hearted attempt to clarify that muddled metaphor, while Monkeymann quickly adopted the Cindy Sheehan phrasebook for describing the yet-unannounced Iraq plan ("escalation").
After great thanksing The Chameleon, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann commenced yet another chapter in his ongoing program to rehabilitate left-wing criminals. Yes, it was convicted felon John Dean and his impartial, nonpartisan analysis. The disbarred lawyer was in rare form: hypocrisy, ruthless Republicans, and the like. Krazy Keith went for the jugular: impeach the cabinet! The criminal loved that idea; if the votes aren't there to get Bush and Cheney, let's get cabinet officers and White House staffers in the dock! The felon tossed in a Nixon comparison (maybe "Nixonian" didn't have the night off after all) and a good time was had by all.
Just to make sure the propaganda wasn't too subtle, Monkeymann next brought in Barney Frank (D). Another Democrat politico on The Hour of Spin? The List has therefore been updated accordingly. B.F. hit the ground running: there hathn't been a more partithan adminithration, they're inthulting people'th intelligenth, they are conthithtently wrong, Republicanth are very partithan (obviously the spin word of the night is "partithan"...sorry, "partisan"). Lots of talk about cutting off money for the troops in the field, which is the latest bee in Man-on-Fan Olbermann's bonnet. As B.F. spoke, Citizen Keith grunted in approval: "Exactly...Yeah, exactly." We've made another love connection.
Next on the carnival of
thpin spin: the Saddam execution, and how the US is "pretending it had nothing to do with it". Pretending? You mean there were Americans under those hoods? The hanging was a "grotesque, sectarian spectacle", and there to parrot the propaganda was Craig Crawford (aka Olbermann's Brain). OlbyLogic: because Saddam was a threat and we took him out, therefore we are responsible for how the Iraq government executed him. Brain snickered in mindless agreement, calling it "the biggest problem" for the Bush administration. KO: Is this "the beginning of the end for the hope of peace"? Brain: [snigger] something or other [chortle].
After a Ford internment recap [demoted way back to the #2 slot], it was straight off to O.J. Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, and Britney Spears. In the Media Matters Minute, Pat Robertson got a nod for talking about how God told him to expect a terrorist attack. We're still waiting for Citizen Keith to give a nod to Ray Nagin for claiming God sent Katrina to punish New Orleans. Olby also ridiculed a global warming skeptic: the guy claimed that hot water will not freeze into ice cubes faster than cold water. Prof Olbermann cackled about several studies about how hot water can freeze faster than cold, thereby neatly avoiding the fact that the guy was specifically talking abut ice cubes. You know, ice cubes, that freeze faster from cold water than from hot water. That's our Keith; he can't even get ice together.
Muted Mongrels: Rev Olbermann has preached about the eeevil Republicans in the House and how mean they treated the Dems. But now that Nancy Pelosi is about to break a campaign promise and ram through legislation without allowing the minority party any right to have hearings or even propose amendments, Mr Hypocrisy was silent. He also protected his party by avoiding any mention of Hillary dissing Obama, not to mention the latter's drug use. Of course, terrorism news is regularly spiked on The Hour of Spin. At the UN, the new Secretary General has taken an important finance-related position away from the US. No time for that; we need more Britney news!
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name surged at amazon.com: it's now all the way up to #6,088, while Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" has risen to #78. The OlbyTome stands at #2,517 at Barnes & Noble, but O'Reilly's book is #296, and is one of the year's top ten best sellers according to Nielsen's BookScan. With no numbers available for Tuesday, we can nonetheless state with confidence that The Hour of Spin lost overwhelmingly to the eeevil O'Reilly both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]