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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The opening spiel found our favorite carnival barker back in form: Ted Kennedy (D) was "eloquent"; the army refuses to protect our troops; Fred Fielding is part of "the watergate crew"; plus Royal Rumours, the Hall of Fame, and more.
Of all the people who have made speeches about the "surge", it's Kennedy's that gets to be made the lead story on The Hour of Spin. Gallup says most people don't like the surge, while some Dems "continue to insist they are powerless" to stop the maniacal madman from sending our children to the slaughterhouse. OK, that was paraphrased. Olby cited Steny Hoyer (D): "house majority leader, or house minority, majority, uh, leader". That about covers everything. Hoyer's got it all wrong, according to Monkeymann, in thinking the Commander in Chief actually gets to send troops places. But "Senator Kenny" (lengthy clip--nearly four minutes!) is introducing legislation to make sure "Mister" Bush doesn't usurp the constitutional powers of the true Commander-in-Chief, the Senator from Massachussetts. No clips were run representing any other point of view.
Olbermoronn asked The Wolffe Man why those rascals Hoyer and Biden are letting the constitution hamstring them from taking over troop deployment decisions. Oh, it's all politics, sez Wolffie. KO naturally adopted the term "escalate"--after all, it is part of the Dems' talking points. How could anyone not expect a Dem talking point to turn up on The Hour of Spin? A regurgitated NBC report on a controversial weapons system followed, with Olby doing a little back and forth with Lisa Myers.
After another Pulitzer-worthy oddball, it was time to analyze Fred Fielding, the new White House counsel. A prime opportunity for the latest chapter in Olbermann's Left-Wing Criminal Rehabilitation Program, featuring felon John Dean. Watergate, watergate, watergate. Even the disbarred lawyer had to admit Fielding had no watergate taint, despite Monkeymann's obsessive repetition of the word. Then it was on to signing statements, domestic eavesdropping, detainees, Jack Abramoff, and all the familiar notes that sound from Olby's player piano. Special thanks to the felon.
The news continued with the royal girlfriend (recycled video again), the malibu fire, and Howard Stern. Plus a full segment on the elections to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Herr Olbermann must have been especially intent that tonight's Media Matters Minute would get the worldwide recognition that his every word so richly deserves. After all, he went out of his way yesterday to make public his attacks on Geraldo Rivera: first blasting him on the radio, then tweaking the wording a bit and rerunning his attack during Countdown. But what happened? His acolyte, TVNewser, didn't post on either of his pronouncements. That cannot be allowed to stand on OlbyPlanet, so KO dashed off an email to TVN. Actually, the email was just a rewrite of the "worst person" comments, which in turn were a rewrite of his radio diatribe. But it worked: TVN obediently ran an item claiming that Olby responded to Geraldo "in an email to TVNewser". Mission accomplished, but we're sure Fat Ass would rather not have to take that extra step to get Brian to fulfill his PR duties.
So tonight Keith "Man on Fan" Olbermann, to get maximum attention, swung for the fences. Steve Jobs got a nomination, but the "worst person" was Tony Snow. KO's claim is that he lied about the "mission accomplished" speech. As soon as Olby tipped earlier in the show that Tony would be "worst" we knew what he would say, because, as usual, Keith lifted his "outrage" from someone else--and not just the target, but even large chunks of the commentary. Olbermann's Blue Blog Source: Think Progress. Bellowed Monkeymann: "Tony, my God, you're just bald-faced lying." There. Did you get that, Brian? Was that statement bold and courageous enough? Or does Keith have to send you another email?
Silent Schnauzers: One of these is left over from yesterday: Krazy Keith ran a clip from Gordon Smith (R) appearing to oppose the troop surge. But it turns out his position was more nuanced than KO let on, since Monkeymann left out Smith's comments that it would be "dishonorable" to withhold funding for said troops. For all the talk tonight about the "surge", isn't it odd that Olbermoronn took pains not to tell his viewers the position of the Iraqi government? Well, not really. The discredited sports guy will always go out of his way not to report new terror threats. And he has no interest in medical developments that don't comport with OlbySpin. A story that combines illegal immigration with sexual child abuse gives KO two reasons to ignore it. But the biggest dog that didn't bark is still the absence of a retraction and apology for Olbermoronn's Friday night lie about Bill O'Reilly.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is a runaway success at amazon.com: it's now all the way up to #3,105; Mr Bill's "Culture Warrior" is #108. The OlbyTome slipped to #2,747 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #41 there, as well as being one of 2006's top ten best sellers. On Monday's Hour of Spin, Bill O'Reilly beat our favorite discredited sports guy by more than three to one, though Olby did manage a second place finish in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]