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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The Hour of Spin lived up to its name tonight, as Krazy Keith carefully left out half of a story to deliberately deceive his credulous viewers. Olbermann spat out the introductory patter in his best carnival barker style: the President is making US troops "human shields", according to Pelosi; China's space shot; another O'Reilly attack; a pregnant chimpanzee with no apparent father ("and no, it's not immaculate conception"); and O'Reilly ("the fraud") vs the satirizer. At this point it is incumbent on us to note that Rev Olbermann's reference to the Immaculate Conception is, like most of his references, ignorant and wrong. The concept refers to the fact that Mary was without sin, not to her divine impregnation. But stupidity will be the least of Olby's crimes on this Hour of Spin.
China destroyed one of its own space satellites, because "Mister" Bush didn't jump for an agreement that would ban such tests. But first, Pelosi's charge, that "Mister" Bush timed the surge announcement in such a way that it would make it difficult for the Dems to cut off funds for it. It was enthusiastically embraced by Krazy Keith.
All right, stop the tivo! Just what is Keith not telling us this time? Oh, possibly the fact that he's so enamored with Madame Pelosi's dramatic charge that he didn't want viewers to know that she took it back? When asked about her GMA comments and whether she was accusing the President of timing the surge to affect political decisions on funding, she replied:
No, I don't think the President would do that.... I don't think the President is acting for political reasons at all.
OK, class. Why did Keith leave out the second half of this story? Why did KO not tell us that Pelosi backtracked and pretty much retracted her earlier words? Because he runs the most biased hour of news on television. But we digress. The Wolffe Man crept onto the stage to parrot OlbySpin. Isn't our foreign policy "unilateral" and "disastrous"? Oh yes, Keith. Isn't the new poll from Fox proof that Americans dislike "Mister" Bush? Oh yes, Keith. (Odd how he picked that number out of the poll, but not the one noted below in "hounds".) Didn't his last speech go over "like the proverbial lead balloon"? (Ahem. Attn Edward R Murrow of our time. There is no "proverbial" lead balloon, because there is no proverb about lead balloons. "Lead balloon" is not proverbial. It is cliched. Like everything else about The Hour of Spin.) Great thanks, of course.
On to the Chinese satellite shot, which Olby wants to control with an unverifiable treaty--after all, the one with North Korea worked so well. Joe Cirincione, from the lefty Center for American Progress, was guest "expert". He blamed the administration for the test, because the eeevil Bush wants to "militarize" space and that scared the innocent Chinese. Besides, it's the military industrial complex, don'tcha know. You know he got Great Thanks.
After we've been hectoring Olbermann all week about ignoring the trial in The Great Leak Case, tonight he bowed to our pressure and brought in Slippery Shuster. At Olby's urging, he focused on a potential juror from Lockheed Martin who happened to agree with the Iraq war, and another who called Cheney a "professional politician". Of course, since Slippery is quadruple-discredited, anything he says must be taken with a grain of salt. And no, that's not the "proverbial" grain of salt. It's just the Olby-style-cliched grain of salt. Great thanks.
Fat Ass launched O'Reilly attack #143 with a new twist: instead of just lying about Mr Bill, or smearing him, or calling him names, or cherry-picking phrases out of context, he wants the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to disinvite him from speaking there. You know, like Universities disinvite eeevil conservatives from being allowed to be heard. Of course, O'Reilly does more in one week on behalf of tough law enforcement for predators than Monkeymann has in his entire low-rated career. KO ran the same excerpt from the first day of coverage that he quoted from before, and then led into regurgitated video of the victim's family from this morning's Today Show.
Stop the tivo again! We were under the impression that Countdown was above this sort of exploitation for ratings. We heard the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann say on the radio today that he didn't want to run this interview. But those pesky producers. Somehow they just made him do it. It's the best of both worlds for Mr Merkle. He's above running the interview, but his damn bosses forced him to do it for ratings. Such is the hypocrisy of Keith "I answer to no one" Olbermann.
#2: The miracle pregnant chimp with no apparent father (again, KO ignorantly references the Immaculate Conception), with more recycled video from NBC. Plus Robert Redford (who attacked Bush--when did an actor who praised Bush ever get such notice on Countdown?) and Lindsay Lohan. In the Media Matters Minute, the "worst person" was...Rich Little. Say what? Yes, he plans to do humor at the Washington Correspondents' Dinner without attacking Bush or the Iraq war. And such humor is outlawed on OlbyPlanet. (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos.)
Then the big "analysis" of O'Reilly vs Colbert, in actuality attack #144. If Olby and his sock puppet are to be believed, Colbert was funny, O'Reilly was too dumb to know Colbert was making fun of him, he didn't get off a single joke. But McFarlane did: he said Bush is "retarded". That made the discredited sports guy laugh. He probably finds pulling wings off flies a hilarious pastime as well.
Hushed hounds: Of course, the big dog here is Monkeymann's failure to apologize to Simon Cowell for using a doctored tape to smear him with a lie. Olbermoronn loves to cite stories from Insight Magazine--as long as they are anti-Bush, or anti-Rove, or anti-Condi, or in any way anti-GOP. But when they make news with a story about Barack Obama's background, and the Clinton campaign is implicated, Fat Ass suddenly pretends like the magazine doesn't even exist. How about that? The capture of a top Al Sadr lieutenant? The fact that Al Sadr himself is feeling the pressure? Hate speech from an Imam? North Korea rips off tens of millions of dollars in UN funds? How about John Edwards's secretive land deal? None of these is considered news on OlbyPlanet. Just like the fact that the Fox poll KO picked one number out of also shows public support for the surge is now double what it was when Olby was trumpeting that it was only 17%. And in the ongoing scrutiny of Naked Right-Wing Propaganda Masquerading as Entertainment, somehow the discredited sports guy didn't devote an entire segment to demonizing Law and Order. An episode that ran earlier today dealt with an anthrax threat. But then, Law and Order is not on Fox.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is #4,102 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #107. The OlbyTome is #2,742 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #75 there, as well as being one of 2006's top ten best sellers. On Thursday, Herr Olbermann just got whomped by Bill O'Reilly (who had nearly 3 million viewers). With all the competition eclipsed by Mr Bill's stellar ratings, Krazy Keith managed to pull out a distant, way distant, second-place finish, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]