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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
As our favorite carnival barker spat out his traditional patter, he touched on all the proper spin points: the "escalation" (DNC spin-term for sending in reinforcements, with the added bonus that it has VietNam resonance), lawmakers opposing the surge, The Great Leak Case, Kerry bows out, Hillary, and--glory be!--Cruise News!
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann led off with "Mister" Bush and Capitol Hill Republicans: the honeymoon "could be over". Only one Republican supported the anti-surge resolution, and that Republican was rewarded with a lengthy clip. Was he the only one who spoke? Silly rabbit, of course not. All of the rest of the Republicans disagreed with him, but how many of them got clips from Edward R Olbermann? You guessed it: zero. The most biased hour in television news.
So to balance that out, Oralmann brought in Sen James Webb (D). Another Democrat?!? The List is updated anew. He got Great Thanks before he even said a word! Olby complained about the phrasing on the "nine-binding resolution" because they didn't use the "escalation" spin-term, and insisted that Congress has an "obligation" to stop the reinforcements at any cost. KO asked "is it fair to say" (a giveaway phrase that means another sloppy softball is coming) that this is just an "attention-getter" and more action is to come. Webb of course agreed. That's the reason he's there. Hammering home "escalation" about fifty dozen more times, Fat Ass finally ceased his fawning chatfest
Olbermoronn then asked The Wolffe Man whose speech had more impact, Bush's or Webb's? There is, of course, one way to gauge this, but somehow "Man on Fan" Olbermann didn't mention it. (See hounds, below.) Wolffie of course said Webb was more effective, Edward R Olbermann referenced "the proverbial [Ding!] sound of one hand clapping", and wondered if the silence "was not deafening enough". (Ace wordsmith Monkeymann leaves no cliche unturned.) Chuck Hagel's words of opposition to the surge "will go down in history". KO claimed "the people" don't want bipartisanship on Iraq, and naturally The Wolffe Man whimpered his agreement. Great thanks.
In a classic moment, Keith managed to say that the "Scooter Libbery trial" has brought claims of "destruction of evidence". Oops, could this be Another Olbermann Lie? Looks like. Olby waxed poetic about the importance of The Great Leak Case, because regardless of the "guilt or innocent of" Libby, its priceless gift is its "unprecessedented revelations about how Mister Cheney operaish". Slippery Shuster's rundown of the day's doings was extraordinary, because it was a recitation of prosecution testimony as if it were fact, with nothing about the cross-examination that tattered a high State Department Official. The guy was caught making the exact same error (forgetting what he told people, getting the chronology wrong) that Libby is being charged with doing on purpose! Any knowledgeable trial attorney will tell you that this is a key moment for any witness's credibility, but it should be no surprise that the quintuply-discredited Shuster left it out, while letting Olby's lie about "destruction of evidence" stand. After all, he did doctor that tape for Herr Olbermann.
After oddball, John Kerry is still not running for President, followed by the rest of Keith's blue-dress interview with Madame Hillary. And another update to The List. (It gets more incriminating with each update.) KO bragged about his ratings, once again using unpublished data in a special demographic about an hour of post-primetime coverage. And people wonder why we post the true ratings numbers every night. Then an attack on a Congresswoman (R) who hugged the President (Blue Blog Source: Crooks and Liars), Britney Spears, K-Fed, Anna Nicole Smith. The #1 story was Cruise News with the creepy Michael Musto, and we apologize to our readers: we could not take another minute of Fat Ass Olbermann, particularly when he's engaged in another painful exercise in mutual onanism with the Village Voice Idiot.
In the Media Matters Minute, five conservatives and Fox people, including Steve Doocy, were attacked for theorizing that Hillary's announcement video may have been pre-taped because of the green foliage in the background (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Juan Williams was cited because he said, on Fox, that the statement was taped in DC, not NY. But what is Mr Merkle not telling us this time? Doocy raised the foliage question to Juan Williams and asked him about it, prompting the explanation. And so he gets made "worst person" because he asked a question which elicited the answer that Keith uses to call him a "worst person"? If you think Pan's Labyrinth is convoluted, just try to make sense out of that gem of OlbyLogic.
Hushed hounds: Keith wanted to know about the impact of the SotU speech. Funny, the poll-happy propagandist very carefully avoided any mention of this poll. Could it be because he doesn't like the results? Ya think? In other news: The stock market hits another historic high. Hundreds of illegal aliens arrested. North Korea is helping Iran with Nuke tests, and Iran confirms it has received technology from Russia. Another US strike against Al Qaeda in Somalia. None of this is news on OlbyPlanet. We're still waiting for KO to apologize for smearing Simon Cowell, and to explain why he is entitled to report stories from Insight magazine, but when someone at Fox does it they become "worst person". And in the ongoing scrutiny of Naked Right-Wing Propaganda Masquerading as Entertainment, last night's episode of NCIS found the team disrupting a terrorist attack in the DC area, but Oralmann did not devote an entire segment to bashing them. NCIS is not on Fox
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name slipped further to #4,596 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #194. The OlbyTome is #2,464 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #115 there, as well as being one of 2006's top ten best sellers. Tuesday's SotU coverage found Fox creaming A-Mess-NBC, while the Hour of Spin again found Herr Olbermann in third place, though he did eke out a second-place finish in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]