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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
As the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann bellowed the opening spiel, it conjured up the image of the keynote speaker at a Tourette's convention: "The President still doesn't get it"... his decisions are "disasters"... Will Sen Hagel run for President as an independent?... That man in the White House actually wants to arrest and detain Iranian fighters in Iraq... A Michael Jackson sighting, and James Brown's body--all in puppets! Real journalism, folks.
After a clip from a Bush photo-op, KO "reported" that "Mister" Bush was just "blowing smoke"; Dem plans have ranged from "non-escalation [Ding!]" to "de-escalation [Ding!]"; he's engaging in "political manipulation". Clip of Hagel opposing the plan. The Wolffe Man said it's all "astonishing"--Bush even has the Presidential seal on his mountain bike. My stars, will the outrages never cease? Oralmann: Bush is "cynical". Wolffie: he's "playing politics". Oralmann: nobody in Congress advocates "failure in Iraq". Wolffie: most people think it's already a failure.
Then breaking news: an op-ed on a website excoriates Bush. "Hot Soup" suddenly becomes an important, authoritative voice, kind of like how Insight Magazine is a reliable OlbySource, until someone at Fox uses it. Cue Keith's Favorite Felon, John Dean. There followed a surreal conversation about credibility between America's most dangerous demagogue and a disbarred lawyer. Felon: Bush did it to himself. Olbermoronn: did "Mister" Bush lose his credibility with Katrina? Felon: Nah, that happened when he was elected. Olbermoronn: Is there any way "Mister" Bush can regain credibility? Felon: Sure, abandon principle and move to the "center". Olbermoronn: Who will "slap 'Mister' Bush around before it's too late"? Felon: He's got to do it on his own. Great thanks.
Next, subpoenas for Rove and Bartlett to testify for the defense in The Great Leak Case. Michael Isikoff called in on a terrible line to give details. Olby claimed they were "likely to testify", but Isikoff said something a bit different: "whether they're going to be called or not is not entirely clear". He went on to say Rove might help Libby, but in doing so Rove would have to admit what he told Matt Cooper. Not clear why that would make any difference since he already admitted it in Grand Jury testimony, but who are we to question Isikoff? Great thanks.
#3 was a paean to the wonderful surge opponent, Chuck Hagel, even replaying the same clip he ran the other day to make sure the propaganda is hammered home. Dana Milbank, without weird wardrobe, was asked, assuming the "escalation" [Ding!] fails, where does that leave Hagel? DM: It helps him. Krazy Keith: Might he, could he, please, please, please, run as an independent? DM: It's a "fantasy". KK: He "sounds like me" on civil liberties, views ascribed "these days" as "liberal attributes". (Wow, the infamous, deplorable one came this close to admitting he's a slovenly partisan hack!) Stupid Question Alert: In The Great Leak Case, won't Rove have to throw himself "under the bus" [Ding!], or Libby "under the bus" [Ding!], and isn't this just as bad as an indictment? DM: It's a window into how the White House tries to "control news" and "distort". KK: "It's a metaphor" [Ding!] Great thanks.
An OlbyUpdate: Mike Huckabee to file papers for a Presidential run. KO falsely claims this news broke while he was talking to Dana. No it didn't.
"Mister" Bush says Iranian fighters are fair game in Iraq. Whew, sez KO, because Bush's first comments were "widely interpreted" as a plan to launch a military attack on Iran. Hey Fat Ass, maybe they were "widely interpreted" in that way on OlbyPlanet, but here on Earth only moronic propagandists were claiming that to be fact. Bizarre OlbyLogic Point of the Day: the President's claim that he has a right to kill the enemy during a war has people "worried".
Then Obama, Steven Spielberg, Hillary, Liz Taylor, Lindsay Lohan (here KO read a made-up report that said she was visiting a liquor store; he later admitted it was made up), Nicole Kidman, Bruce Willis, James Brown, and Michael Jackson (complete with puppets), with a last-minute recap of the "breaking" Leak Case news (featuring the nonsensical point that Rove might have to testify to something he's already testified to on multiple occasions.)
In the Media Matters Minute, Fox for planning to run a deleted scene from the 9/11 movie on Sunday night (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters.) Olbermann Lies here include the claim that the producer is a "right-wing nut job" who believes "it was all Bill Clinton's fault. Of course Herr Olbermann left out of his diatribe the fact that the man who created and ran the CIA's Bin Laden Unit (Michael Scheuer) will be on the program to analyze the accuracy of this deleted scene. But why spoil a good smear with facts? "Worst person" was, of course, you-know-who (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters. The mother of all Olbsessions.
Taciturn terriers: There's a whole pack of 'em today. Jimmy Carter objecting that there were too many Jews on the Holocuast council. Iran's nuke development continues apace with the installation of thousands of centrifuges. A top Taliban leader and many of his deputies are killed by airstrikes in Afgahnistan. Hugo Chavez threatens to expel the US ambassador. The Secretary of Defense warns that people like Olbermoronn are going to embolden the enemy. Hillary Clinton's deadbeat brother is in trouble again. The South Dakota Senate recommends censure for one of their members (D) who groped a male page. There are still calls for Sandy Berger to complete the terms of his plea agreement and take a polygraph test, but the media (especially Herr Olbermann) avoid the story. And this was KO's last change to apologize for lying about Simon Cowell, and to explain why he is entitled to report stories from Insight magazine, even reviving the meme of one of them again last night, but when someone at Fox does it they become "worst person".
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name stands at #5,487 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" rose to #132. The OlbyTome is #2,641 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #341 there, as well as being one of 2006's top ten best sellers. Poor Keith; our favorite demagogue finished in third place--behind Nancy Grace and way behind The Factor, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]