COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - FEBRUARY 28, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- INTELLIGENCE: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek
- WALTER REED HOSPITAL: Kelly Kennedy
- ELECTIONS '08: Anne Kornblut, Washington Post
- HARRY POTTER IN THE BUFF
- "24" AND TORTURE: Jane Mayer
Liberal Keith Olbermahn bellowed the opening spiel: UBL and training camps, the "right-wing" [Ding!], Walter Reed, "24" again, the "torture doesn't work" lie, Anna Nicole Smith, and Harry Potter nude (he "shows us his magic wand"). Such excitement.
#5: Intelligence. The Wolffe Man purred, liberal Olby cited Hersh and brought up Iran-Contra, and remote controls all across America began clicking furiously. Great thanks. KO Key Words: squander credibility, manipulate intel, spin, talking points, softballs (liberal Keith's favorite passtime, to judge from his blue-dress interviews), cherry-picking, unraveling, secrecy.
#4: Walter Reed (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). KO Key Words: disingenous, disconnect.
#3: Politics '08. Obama ahead of Clinton among backs, Guiliani ahead of Richard McCain. KO Key Words: carrying Bush water, twice-divorced, evangelicals, counter-intuitive, self-fulfilling prophecy [Ding!].
#2: Harry Potter (regurgitated video), Anna Nicole Smith, her dog SugarPie, American Idol. #1: "24" and torture (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). KO Key Words: Fox Noise channel, rationalization.
In the Media Matters Minute: the "reprehensible" [Olbersaurus!] Melanie Morgan (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters).
Dogs that did not bark: The following perfectly encapsulates the bias of "Man on Fan" Olbermann. While he has avoided reporting the decrease in killings since the Baghdad crackdown commenced, liberal Olby has eagerly trumpeted every piece of bad news he could scrape up. Just yesterday, he bellowed: "18 young boys died when a bomb blew up at a soccer field in Ramadi." Today it turns out that report was, to say the least, accuracy-challenged. Did liberal Keith update the story tonight? Did he tell his credulous viewers that his report may have been in error? That doesn't happen on OlbyPlanet. Just as liberal Oralmann won't mention this, he won't even report the good news that 18 young boys weren't killed at all. They name streets after guys like Olbermahn: "One-Way". Finally, in our assessment of Keith Olbermann's masculinity, this week liberal Olbermann attacked Fox, CNN, and right-wing pundits five times; Olby criticisms of MSNBC: zero. His primary sources (Media Matters/Think Progress) criticized MSNBC three times. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -12 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is #4,425 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #261. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,566 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,007 there, and is now in its 21st week on the New York Times bestsellers list. Tuesday's Hour of Spin lost to The O'Reilly Factor by nearly four to one, but eeked out a second place finish both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". And though it had the night off, we wish to take this opportunity to thank The MisterMeter for its many months of yeomanlike service in documenting the insufferable superciliousness of the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermahn.
Yours truly, Johnny Dollar
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - FEBRUARY 27, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN BOMBINGS: Dana Milbank, Washington Post; Ben Venzke
- SURGE SUPRESSION: Patrick Murphy (D)
- AL GORE DAMAGE CONTROL: Chris Cillizza
- INTERNET VIDEO HOAXES
Why did the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann delay a story for an entire day before he reported it? That answer is coming, but first... Rev Oralmann mounted the pulpit and delivered the opening spiel: the attack on Cheney, "Blame the Media!", the military is not ready, Al Gore attacked by "right wing water carriers", fat children, Barry Bonds, and internet videos.
First up: the suicide bomb attack in Afghanistan, Bad News from Iraq, an attack on Laura Bush for criticizing the media. Dana Milbank, without weird wardrobe, talked about CYA and resurgent Talibanis. Liberal Olbermann asked "where's the credibility?" Great thanks.
Peter Pace says military readiness declined. Obligatory clips of press hectoring Snow. To discuss the "escalation" [Ding!]: Patrick Murphy (D). [Updated: The List: it's really getting ridiculous!] When was the last time somebody who supported sending reinforcements was interviewed on The Hour of Spin? Let's see, that would be...NEVER! Liberal Monkeymann demanded to know what the Congress would do "bindingly" to lose the war. Murphy said we need more troops in Afghanistan. Wait, isn't that an "escalation"? No, on OlbyPlanet it's only an escalation if it's in Iraq. Great thanks.
#4: The Taliban spring offensive, analyzed by Venzke, who is not exactly a favorite of the Kos kids. His analysis was shockingly straightforward for The Hour of Spin, so liberal KO dispensed with him in record time.
Though he hasn't reported the 31 all-time record highs the Dow has hit since October, after oddball liberal "Man on Fan" Oralmann served up this (regarding the stock market fall): "Fox Noise insisted the dropoff was because of the assassination attempt on Vice-President Cheney". Another Olbermann Lie, and we have no idea what Blue Blog was reckless enough to print this fabrication. But it was obviously a good enough "source" for liberal Olbermahn.
The next segment raised the question: why did liberal Keith wait 24 hours to report a story everyone covered yesterday? A two-part answer. A) Olbermann Watch slammed him for spiking Gore's energy usage yesterday and he was shamed into dealing with it today. B) It took 24 hours for Olby to get the spin together to blame it all on--all together now--the "right-wing!" (Blue Blog Sources: Think Progress and Media Matters). Everything reported by the Tennessee Center for Policy Research was therefore "a lie". That's called "journalism" on OlbyPlanet. Cillizza pandered. Great thanks.
#2: Fat kids (regurgitated video), Anna Nicole Smith, Barry Bonds, baseball cards; #1: Internet videos. Media Matters Minute: Ann "Coultergeist" (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters).
Quiescent canines: Not much of a surprise here. Even thought it's co-written by frequent Countdown guest Jim VandeHei, this article got spiked by the infamous, deplorable one. Meanwhile, while Monkeymann has railed loud and long against "hate speech" by the eeevil "right-wingers" and "neocons", guess whose hate speech he has been totally silent about? And c'mon, Keithy Boy--be a man. Report this.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name sunk to #8,516 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #317. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,540 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,163 there, and is now in its 21st week on the New York Times bestsellers list. Even with all the hype and frenzied emails to the usual blue blog echo chamber, Monday's Countdown, with its pivot-happy Special Education Komment, lost by more than three to one to the eeevil Nazi swine O'Reilly. The Hour of Spin just barely eeked out a second place finish both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo".
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - FEBRUARY 26, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- IRAQ & IRAN: Richard Wolffe, Newsweek; Lawrence Korb
- AMERICAN IDOL: Whatever
- CONDI RICE: Keith puts her in her place with a Speshul Education Komment
The infamous, deplorable, liberal Keith Olbermann bellowed the opening spiel: Cheney's "odd warning" to Pakistan, Condi is "rewriting history" (Speshul Education Komment alert), The Great Leak Case, a Hollywood moviemaker finds "the lost tomb of Christ", Judge Larry, American Idol, and more. It's Dreary Monday on The Hour of Spin.
#5: "Mister" Bush is secretly funding Al Qaeda (according to that paragon of accuracy, Sy Hersh). Secret plans for attacking Iran. Condi Rice is stupid, liberal Keith Oralmann is smart! The Wolffe Man purred OlbySpin like a kontented kitty kat. Great thanks. Liberal Korb, again identified as "from the Reagan administration", was happy to join liberal Olbermann in demanding hearings and taking everything from liberal Hersh as proven fact. More great thanks.
#4: The Great Leak Case. One juror kicked out. Deliberations continue for yet another day. How can this be? According to Slippery, Libby's defense was "dead" on the first day of trial. Why is it taking them so long? Slippery did not explain. Many thanks.
Oddball (incorporating another O'Reilly attack); #3: American Idol. #2: James Cameron found "the bones" of "Jesus H Christ himself" (more rerun video); plus Al Gore's Oscar and Anna Nicole Smith. In the Media Matters Minute, attacks on the NRA (Blue Blog Source: Huffington Post) and a White House press guy (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress).
Finally, held for the last possible Nielsen minute, the latest Speshul Education Komment, complete with all the scripted camera pivots and staged dramatics (see APPENDIX below for the putrid details). It included this great moment:
There is, obviously, no mistaking Saddam Hussein for a human being, but nor is there any mistaking him for Adolf Hitler. Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to annihilate the Jews; who sought to overtake the World--is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole, it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it. And, defeated it.
Izzat so? We don't recall Oralmann spewing an irate Speshul Komment when Robert Byrd (D) compared Republicans to Hitler. Or when Dick Durbin (D) analogized the actions of US troops to Nazis. For that matter, we're still waiting for Herr Olbermann, who called the Bush administration a "new form of fascism", to apologize to the ADL for this:
But Olbypocrisy runs too thick and deep for that ever to happen.
Dogs that did not bark: How many days of coverage did Fat Ass give to Ted Haggard? And yet not one minute of coverage to this. Lots of praise for Al Gore, but no mention whatsoever about these inconvenient truths. Rumblings of dissatisfaction in Iran. Tony Blair sends more troops to the war zone. And still Olbermahn spikes the news of a federal court ruling that proves him to be a slovenly political hack.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is at #7,360 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #239. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,494 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #746 there, and is now in its 21st week on the New York Times bestsellers list. On Friday the discredited sports guy once again came in third in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". No wonder he had his writers crank out another Speshul Education Komment. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
And finally as promised, a special comments on the remarks yesterday by Secretary of State Rice.
We already know about her suggestion that the president could just ignore whatever congressional Democrats do about Iraq.
Just ignore Congress.
We know how that game always turns out. Ask President Nixon. Ask President Andrew Johnson.
Or ask Vice President Dick Cheney, who utterly contradicted Secretary Rice on Monday when he warned President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan about what those mean congressional Democrats could do to his foreign aid.
All of this, par for the course.
But about what the secretary said regarding the prospect of Congress' revising or repealing the 2002 authorization of the war in Iraq:
Here we go again! From springs spent trying to link Saddam Hussein to 9/11, to summers of cynically manipulated intelligence, through autumns of false patriotism, to winters of war, we have had more than four years of every cheap trick and every degree of calculated cynicism from this administration, filled with Three-Card Monte players.
But the longer Dr. Rice and these other pickpockets of a nation's goodness have walked among us, waving flags and slandering opponents and making true enemies--foreign and domestic--all hat and no cattle all the while, the overriding truth of their occupancy of our highest offices of state has only gradually become clear.
As they asked in that Avis commercial: "Ever get the feeling some people just stopped trying?"
Then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld thought he could equate those who doubted him with Nazi appeasers, without reminding anybody that the actual, historical Nazi appeasers in this country in the 1930s were the Republicans.
Vice President Cheney thought he could talk as if he and he alone knew the "truth" about Iraq and 9/11, without anyone ever noticing that even the rest of the administration officially disagreed with him.
The president really acted as if you could scare all of the people all of the time and not lose your soul--and your majority--as a result.
But Secretary of State Rice may have now taken the cake. On the Sunday morning interview show "Of Broken Record" on Fox, Dr. Rice spoke a paragraph, which if it had been included in a remedial history paper at the weakest high school in the nation would've gotten the writer an "F" — maybe an expulsion.
If Congress were now to revise the Iraq authorization, she said, out loud, with an adult present: "...it would be like saying that after Adolf Hitler was overthrown, we needed to change, then, the resolution that allowed the United States to do that, so that we could deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
The secretary's resume reads that she has a master's degree and a Ph.D in political science. The interviewer should have demanded to see them, on the spot.
[Direction: EYEBROW RAISE]
Dr. Rice spoke 42 words. She may have made more mistakes in them than did the president in his State of the Union Address in 2003.
There is, obviously, no mistaking Saddam Hussein for a human being. But nor is there any mistaking him for Adolf Hitler.
Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to exterminate the Jews; who sought to overtake the world is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole, it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it and defeated it.
Saddam Hussein was not Adolf Hitler. And George W. Bush is not Franklin D. Roosevelt--nor Dwight D. Eisenhower. He isn't even George H.W. Bush, who fought in that war.
[Direction: SHOULDER SHAKE & HEAD BOB]
However, even through the clouds of deliberately spread fear, and even under the weight of a thousand exaggerations of the five years past, one can just barely make out how a battle against international terrorism in 2007 could be compared--by some--to the Second World War.
The analogy is weak, and it instantly begs the question of why those of "The Greatest Generation" focused on Hitler and Hirohito, but our leaders seem to have ignored their vague parallels of today to instead concentrate on the Mussolinis of modern terrorism.
But in some, small, "You didn't fail, Junior, but you may need to go to summer school" kind of way, you can just make out that comparison.
[Direction: PIVOT!]
But, Secretary Rice, overthrowing Saddam Hussein was akin to overthrowing Adolf Hitler? Are you kidding? Did you want to provoke the world's laughter?
And, please, Madame Secretary, if you are going to make that most implausible, subjective, dubious, ridiculous comparison; if you want to be as far off the mark about the Second World War as, say, the pathetic Holocaust-denier from Iran, Ahmadinejad--at least get the easily verifiable facts right: the facts whose home through history lies in your own department.
[Direction: PEER DOWNWARD]
"The resolution that allowed the United States to" overthrow Hitler?
On the 11th of December, 1941, at 8 o'clock in the morning, two of Hitler's diplomats walked up to the State Department--your office, Secretary Rice --and 90 minutes later they were handing a declaration of war to the chief of the department's European Division. The Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor four days earlier, and the Germans simply piled on.
Your predecessors, Dr. Rice, didn't spend a year making up phony evidence and mistaking German balloon-inflating trucks for mobile germ warfare labs. They didn't pretend the world was ending because a tin-pot tyrant couldn't hand over the chemical weapons it turned out he'd destroyed a decade earlier. The Germans walked up to the front door of our State Department and said, "We're at war." It was in all the papers. And when that war ended, more than three horrible years later, our troops and the Russians were in Berlin. And we stayed, as an occupying force, well into the 1950s. As an occupying force, Madam Secretary!
If you want to compare what we did to Hitler and in Germany to what we did to Saddam and in Iraq, I'm afraid you're going to have to buy the whole analogy. We were an occupying force in Germany, Dr. Rice, and by your logic, we're now an occupying force in Iraq. And if that's the way you see it, you damn well better come out and tell the American people so. Save your breath telling it to the Iraqis--most of them already buy that part of the comparison.
[Direction: PIVOT! AND PEER DOWNWARD]
“It would be like saying that after Adolf Hitler was overthrown, we needed to change then, the resolution that allowed the United States to do that, so that we could deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
We already have a subjectively false comparison between Hitler and Saddam. We already have a historically false comparison between Germany and Iraq. We already have blissful ignorance by our secretary of state about how this country got into the war against Hitler. But then there's this part about changing "the resolution" about Iraq; that it would be as ridiculous in the secretary's eyes as saying that after Hitler was defeated, we needed to go back to Congress to "deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
[Direction: PIVOT!]
Oh, good grief, Secretary Rice, that's exactly what we did do! We went back to Congress to deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after Hitler was overthrown! It was called the Marshall Plan.Â
Marshall!
Gen. George Catlett Marshall!
Secretary of state!
The job you have now!
C'mon!
Twelve billion, 400 thousand dollars to stabilize all of Europe economically--to keep the next enemies of freedom, the Russians, out and democracy in! And how do you suppose that happened? The president of the United States went back to Congress and asked it for a new authorization and for the money. And do you have any idea, Madame Secretary, who opposed him when he did that? The Republicans!
"We've spent enough money in Europe," said Sen. Robert Taft of Ohio.
"We've spent enough of our resources," said former President Hoover.
It's time to pull out of there! As they stand up, we'll stand down!
[Direction: PIVOT! & ROLL EYES]
This administration has long thought otherwise, but you can't cherry-pick life--whether life in 2007, or life in the history page marked 1945. You can't keep the facts that fit your prejudices and throw out the ones that destroy your theories. And if you're going to try to do that; if you still want to fool some people into thinking that Saddam was Hitler, and once we gave FDR that blank check in Germany he was no longer subject to the laws of Congress or gravity or physics, at least stop humiliating us.
Get your facts straight. Use the Google!
[Direction: POWERFUL SILENT PAUSE STARE & PIVOT!]
You've been on Fox News Sunday, Secretary Rice. The Fox network has got another show premiering Tuesday night. You could go on that one, too. It might be a better fit. It's called "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN - FEBRUARY 23, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- CONGRESS AND THE WAR: Jonathan Alter, Newsweek senior editor and MSNBC political analyst; Anne Kornblut, Washington Post national political reporter
The opening spiel: Dem attempts to undeclare the Iraq war, if Lieberman turns (R) can he be recalled, Walter Reed again, another O'Reilly attack and a slam at Oprah, Anna Nicole, yada yada yada.
#5: The "military galavanting in Iraq". Endless blather about undeclaring the Iraq war (when a nonbinding resolution couldn't even get 60 votes). Lefty Alter delivered Dem talking points, i.e. he parroted OlbySpin. Great thanks. Lieberman talks about changing parties. Oh gawd, no! We can't permit that on OlbyPlanet! Kornblut said it's a possibility, though remote. KO: If Joe flips, there's really a "silver lining" for Dems. Anne flat-out laughed at that spin. Olby warned Lieberthal that if he switches, it "will not be a pleasant situation for him". Threats, from Monkeymann? Great thanks.
#4: Walter Reed (regurgitated NBC video). Oddball.
#3: The latest O'Reilly attack (Hornbeck again): "fraud", "ethical garbage dump", plus a smear of Oprah. KO claimed Bill said the teenager "preferred being raped", and recycled that same first-night clip yet again. Marc Klaas was there to criticize Oprah for not grilling O'Reilly. Klaas never explained why, when he was on with O'Reilly just Wednesday, he "grilled" Mr Bill thusly: "I appreciate your having me. I think you're exactly right". Klaas opined that it was "unconscionable" to invite O'Reilly to speak at that damn dinner Keithy Boy keeps bringing up. But it's not "unconscionable" for Klaas to go on O'Reilly's show? This disconnect is brought to you by OlbyLogic. OlbyLogic: apply directly to the forehead. Then it was back to Malmedy again! "Man on Fan" Olbermann at his most repellent. Great thanks.
#2: Racism at the Oscars (regurgitated reportage), Britney Spears, Conan O'Brien, CBS profile plug. #1: Anna Nicole Week in Review. In the Media Matters Minute: KO himself for not plugging his radio show on Conan; and a Washington Times columnist (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters).
Muted mongrels: This pornography arrest was certain to get spiked by Fat Ass, considering who was arrested. (But Mr Bill wasn't afraid to run it.) Nothing about credit cards for illegal aliens. The Brits redeploying some troops from Iraq has been Big News for days, but this hasn't been mentioned once. And Olbermahn still spikes the news of a federal court ruling because it proves him to be a slovenly political hack. Finally our weekly assessment of Oralmann's masculinity. Over the past week Olbermann has attacked Fox, CNN, and Limbaugh/right-wing pundits nine times; Olby criticisms of MSNBC: zero. Meanwhile, his primary sources (Media Matters/Think Progress) criticized (MS)NBC four times. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -10 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name plummeted to #13,112 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #213. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,687 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #309 there, and is now in its 20th week on the New York Times bestsellers list. The discredited sports guy came in third in total viewers, but eeked out second in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Hey Dan Abrams, are you getting your money's worth? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
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