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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann was in rare form as he bellowed the traditional opening spiel: "cooking the books" of pre-war intelligence, anatomy of a smear from the "Moonie paper", Bill O'Reilly "axed", Al Gore, and yet another story on Anna Nicole Smith.
First up of course, Douglas Feith "cooked the books" because he was critical of the murky, unclear answers the Intelligence Community came up with regarding Saddam's connections with Al-Qaeda. Olby announced a clip of Carl Levin (D) but somehow a clip of Feith came up, complete with Levin's name under it! Some tape operator is about to get fired. KO thundered that Feith "marched us off to war" (Keith's obsession that it was WMDs that marched us off to war was conveniently inoperative tonight). To salvage this fiasco, in came Dana Milbank, minus multicolored mufti. KO referenced the administration's "adversarial relationship with the truth" and whined that "nothing is going to happen". Not everyone agrees with Oralmann's spin on this, but don't worry, Milbank didn't dare express an opposing viewpoint. Fat Ass: what about all those people who say the administration acted unlawfully? Um, what about that report you just cited that finds they did not act unlawfully? That didn't come up. Great thanks.
KO mentioned Gates's report that Iran was involved in supplying arms to insurgents, merely to ridicule it. Then he introduced Philip Giraldi (the banner spelled it "Garibaldi"), identified as from American Conservative Magazine. Very tricky. That's Pat Buchanan's isolationist publication that totally agrees with Herr Olbermann--but of course, the infamous, deplorable one didn't tell his viewers that. You know he got Great Thanks.
Then it was off to the story of Pelosi's Plane envy, which Monkeymann blamed on the "Moonie" Washington Times. Why would anybody take that publication seriously, anyhow? Well, you might just ask the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann about that. He has used the Washington Times repeatedly as a news source; here are just a few examples:
And not once did he mention that it was a "Moonie" paper. We really need to get an Olbypocrisy meter, but it would have to go to 11.
Olby rattled off people who gave what he called "misinformation" on this subject, but didn't include David Gregory and Matt Lauer (so much for Olbermann's manhood). This was the cue for Craig Crawford, aka Olbermann's Brain. It was all the doing of the minority party, snickered Brain. KO relied again on Rule #1 (this is bad for Republicans). Brain chortled, sniggered, and chuckled his way through the usual empty cliches, and naturally that earned him Great Thanks.
After oddball (including a claim that Bill O'Reilly is Joe McCarthy reincarnated--trivia question: what # attack is this?), it was 2008 politics. A.B. Stoddard (The Hill) gave an extreme-right-wing-neocon-fascist analyst. Well, it seemed that way compared to the parrots who repeat OlbySpin. Actually she was pretty down-the-middle, despite Monkeymann all but drooling to get Al Gore into the 2008 contest, and again making the story all about "Me! Me! Me!". Of course, Olby only asked about the Democrats.
Next up, the lie that O'Reilly "repeatedly" said that kidnapped boy enjoyed his captivity. "Billo chokes on his falafel", said "Man on Fan" Olbermann. That apparently is worse than spilling Merlot in a cheap hotel room, isn't it, Limpy? Once again Fat Ass ran the same clip from the first night of kidnapping coverage, highlighting the "grotesque" comments, and nothing else. Then he was off on another rant. Same-O Same-O. Followed by James Brown, and another segment on Anna Nicole Smith.
In the Media Matters Minute: the cartoon network (the Aquateen Boston fiasco), "tv personality Anderson Cooper" (whom he ridiculed as "an experiment in mass marketing"--gawd, what did Cooper do to rattle Olby's cage? Whatever it is, do it again!) (Blue Blog Source: TVNewser.
And the "worst person"? A classic case of Olbsession devolving into terminal dementia. It was, of course, Bill "Orally", because he dared to "drag Ken Allard" (former NBC analyst) onto the air. (What, did he have him in chains? Was he kidnapped at gunpoint?). Olby's rationale for this? Allard had a stroke last year, and O'Reilly was "trying to put words into his mouth". That, of course, makes O'Reilly a "swine" [Olbersaurus]. Note what Edward R Olbermann doesn't tell you: Bill was very complimentary to Allard for his stroke recovery, and Allard, as eloquent and well spoken as ever, thanked him for his kind words. (See for yourself.) So why is Monkeymann so worked up? Because he's losing it, and Bill has found the exact, precise chain to yank. Allard giving O'Reilly the ammunition to expose NBC just made Citizen Keith's blood pressure go that much higher. Glorious.
Taciturn terriers: Once again Olbermoronn didn't bother to note that Pelosi was trying to get military flights to partisan Democrat functions. Eight insurgents killed. UK police arrested a suspect in the case of the letter bombings that Herr Olbermann never covered, and five suspects are charged in the UK beheading plot that Herr Olbermann never covered. Barack Obama's rivals are doing opposition research. And it's time for our weekly computation of Keith's masculinity. This week he attacked: Fox (7 times), CNN (2 times), Limbaugh/right-wing pundits (2 times)--pretty impressive, considering he had a 4-day week. Oh, and zero criticisms of MSNBC. Yet Olby's primary source, Media Matters, had 13 criticisms of MSNBC. This week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -13 [LIMP].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name stands at #4,199 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #136. (It's gotta be that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,721 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #294 there, and is now in its 18th week on the New York Times bestsellers list. Thursday's Countdown was a disaster; Herr Olbermann lost to every other cable news channel except CNBC (and it would have lost to them too if they hadn't been so kind as to move Howie Mandel to a later hour). The Hour of Spin limped in at fourth place both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo".