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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The opening spiel started right off with Keith bellowing an attack on "Mister" Bush, plus patter about Hillary Clinton, The Great Leak Case, Oliver North on "escalation" [Ding!], Anna Nicole Smith, more American Idol, baseball cards, and more. The Hour of Spin is here!
KO kicked things off by claiming Bush said he "doesn't need evidence" to take action regarding Iranian weapons in Iraq (Another Olbermann Lie, since there is plenty of evidence). Intoned Olby: "Scared yet?" Obligatory clip of the tonsorially-enhanced David Gregory. Fat Ass continued his "reporting" on the presser: Bush said "he does not really know what is going on in Iraq" (Another Olbermann Lie). Plus "Mister" Bush's humor was "strained" (not on the level of puppet theater for sure). More clips.
Howard Fineman, Pundit for All Occasions, agreed with Oralmann's spin. We realize this statement isn't surprising, and isn't news in any way. We report it yet again as part of our duty to chronicle the spin. Naturally, Olby had to shoehorn in the "news" that comedian Al Franken wants to run for Senate, and Howie played along, hyping comedian Franken as "very very very smart" and a real threat in the race. Great thanks.
The Great Leak Case got its usual coverage, meaning Slippery Shuster was there to paint as vivid a picture as possible of Libby's certain conviction (a la Rove's certain indictment). He rattled off the same misinterpretations as previously.
#3 Troop morale and how "Mister" Bush "waves" it for political purposes. This led into the Big News about a comment by Oliver North that the troops he spoke to didn't think more combat soldiers were needed. (KO showed a silent clip of North speaking, an MSNBC logo at the bottom, and the image zoomed in to hide the Fox News logo.) Why is it that something said by Oliver North, and on the eeevil Fox no less, is suddenly a headline on The Hour of Spin? Well, there are two criteria. 1: He has to have said something that can be used against Bush administration policy. (Check!) And 2: Olbermann has to know about it, so that means some left-wing website has to pick it up so Olby can lift it from them. (Check! Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Bonus points if you take one sentence out of the man's comments and ignore everything else because it doesn't fit OlbySpin. (Check!) It's Olbypocrisy in its most virulent form. Never mind that "worst person" North is, according to Edward R Olbermann, a person who's been "lying for 19 years". Never mind that he said it on the eeevil FNC. If it's something that benefits OlbySpin, then bingo! All of a sudden it's reliable and makes "news" on Countdown. (The Insight Magazine rule.)
Paul Rieckhoff was the guest expert; he was there to lobby for more benefits for veterans and troops. Oh, and Oliver North is right: the troops don't want reinforcements, and the surge won't work anyhow (see mutts below). Plus the troops are being used as "shields" by policy makers. OlbySpin accuracy rating: 100%. Then Anna Nicole Smith, Howard Stern (the radio one), and the new Topps baseball cards (is Olby still on their payroll?).
The #1 story was American Idol, and was based on an internet rumor that Michael Jackson would be appearing on the show. "We're still waiting for confirmation" on that, bleated Olby, further flogging a dead horse that was expired when he first dealt with it yesterday. See, this whole Jackson bit is from a reality tv website that didnt "report" it, it "predicted" it. You know, like Survivor sites predict who will be voted out on the next show. This is what "Man on Fan" Olbermann is reduced to in an attempt to do something, anything, to inflate his moribund ratings.
In the Media Matters Minute, Al Qaeda's Zawahiri was "worser" for statements about Bush. No, wait, it's not what you think. Oralmann's point was to use this as an excuse to say he's "as stupid as Bill Frist" (R). Whew! For a minute we thought Olbermoronn was suffering from temporary sanity. The "worst person" was "moron" Frank Gaffney for a Washington Times column.
Muffled mutts: Krazy Keith loves Maureen Dowd. He invites her onto The Hour of Spin. When she criticizes "Mister" Bush Olby rushes to quote her on the air. So why hasn't Keithy Boy quoted from this? Maybe KO is waiting for it to appear in Insight magazine so he can call it "right-wing slime". A top Taliban leader was the target of a NATO airstrike. The markets soar to an all-time record high thanks to economic growth and low inflation. Olbermoronn still hasn't told us what the bloggers wrote, or the effect of the surge that "won't work" on Al-Sadr. And we're waiting for Herr Olbermann, who slams Bill O'Reilly for comments about Iraq, to do the same to the man who called for the bombing of the holy city of Mecca. He won't, and that's why the Olbermann Manhood Quotient remains: limp.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name stands at #5,229 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #182. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,694 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1440 there, and is now in its 19th week on the New York Times bestsellers list. The Tuesday Hour of Spin once again found itself on the short end of the ratings stick. Olby & Company lost to Mr Bill by four to one, coming in a weak third overall. What's worse, the infamous, deplorable one sank to a humiliating fourth place in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". So how are those kontract negotiations going? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]