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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's casual Friday on The Hour of Spin, but then Oralmann has always been casual about things like truth, fairness, and the facts. The opening spiel: the non-binding resolution "about which the President could not care less", Murtha's plan to cut funding, Republicans are "terrorists", money "squandered" in Iraq, snow, the pizza man case, Anna Nicole, Britney Spears, a cure for baldness (hey, just get a toup like Olby!), and "Bill Orally". Yep, this looks as casual as ever.
The Hour of Spin proper led with the non-binding resolution, destined to "go down in the history books". It "passed easily", despite Republican "scare tactics". Clip of Virgil Goode (R), Brown-Waite (R). Herr Olbermann asked Kornbluth about the "politics of fear", and said this of the fact that only 17 Republicans voted for the resolution:
The Republicans trying to spin this, uh, this vote today as fewer GOP lawmakers voted with the Democrats than expected
Stop the tivo! Time for an Olbermann Reality-Check. Here is what the infamous, deplorable one himself said about the vote--twice--just yesterday:
As many as 60 Republicans said to be intending to vote for it
Fat Ass Olbermann, caught red-handed in his own OlbySpin. Great thanks!
Then it was on to John Madden Murtha's attempts to bleed money from the troops, and John Boehner's opposition. KO's impartial expert for this discussion? Arianna Huffington! Keith makes this so easy. Still sounding like the illegitimate offspring of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Count Dracula, Huffy delivered all the talking points, made only slightly more palatable in that her accent made them practically indecipherable. Monkeymann mentioned Republican "ilk", and we wondered when was the last time "Man on Fan" Olbermann interviewed someone who supported sending reinforcements? Oh, let's see... Never! Great thanks.
Next, money missing or unaccounted for in Iraq. The guest expert here? Greenwald, the brilliant auteur responsible for that great achievement of American cinematic art: Xanadu. It's all "an obscenity", said the Hollywood filmmaker (no, he wasn't talking about Xanadu). Corporations shouldn't be profiting during wartime. Besides, they're thieves who are committing treason. This is routine DailyKos stuff, but Olby slurped it up like it was a bottle of his precious Merlot. Great thanks.
Another plug for the segment where KO is going to slam Bill "Orally" for mispronouncing "Olbermann". Does anyone see the irony in this? Or the hypocrisy? Bueller? Anyone?
#3: Snow and ice (regurgitated video from NBC), car crashes caught on tape. #2: The mall shooting (more regurgitated reportage), the collar-bomb case, Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears, and...none other than Bill O'Reilly. Olby replayed some of Bill's Greatest Hits as a prelude to discussing Bill's reading part of Col. Allard's column. Here are the words Olbermahn used to describe the Colonel:
He never had a contract with the company, and hasn't been on our air in about a year
Compare with the statement TVNewser obtained from an anonymous NBC "spokesperson":
Mister Allard is not under contract to NBC and hasn't appeared on our air in nearly a year.
We report, you decide.
Fat Ass went on to claim that somehow O'Reilly didn't know the name of Olbermahn would even be in the bit he read, pretty amazing given that it was right on the screen and the teleprompter, and it was Mr Bill who selected that part of the column to read. Then the discreted sports guy suggested O'Reilly was "drunk on the air" [hey, there's The Laughing Stagehand! We've missed you, buddy!]. Yes, Krazy Keith knows O'Reilly is a teatotaler. As we said, Olbermahn is always casual with the truth. Especially when tossing around such stinkbombs is enough of a distraction that he still doesn't have to report what William Arkin wrote, which Keith embraced as "valid criticisms".
Other than a segment on baldness, all that's left to cover is the Media Matters Minute: it was another hat-trick of hatred for Herr Olbermann. O'Reilly (again!) plus Dennis Miller (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), Sean Hannity (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress), and Congressman Don Young (R) (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars). Let's check and see if the slots were filled. Fox? Check. Republican? Check. Conservative? Check. Olby gets a gold star from David Brock. He can show it to Michael Musto, perhaps over a bottle of Merlot.
Silent schnauzers: We are three days into Operation Law and Order and Herr Olbermann is still spiking the story. The man identified as the most corrupt member of Congress is set to assume a seat on the Homeland Security Committee. Iranian fighters are deeply enmeshed in Iraq. Olbermoronn still hasn't told us what the bloggers wrote. Over the past week Olbermann has attacked Fox, CNN, and Limbaugh/right-wing pundits nine times; Olby criticisms of MSNBC: zero. Meanwhile, his primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC seven times. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -11 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name slipped to #5,297 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #195. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,758 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #910 there, and is now in its 19th week on the New York Times bestsellers list. On Thursday Olbermoronn could only manage a third place finish, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo".