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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The infamous, deplorable, liberal Keith Olbermann bellowed the opening spiel: Cheney's "odd warning" to Pakistan, Condi is "rewriting history" (Speshul Education Komment alert), The Great Leak Case, a Hollywood moviemaker finds "the lost tomb of Christ", Judge Larry, American Idol, and more. It's Dreary Monday on The Hour of Spin.
#5: "Mister" Bush is secretly funding Al Qaeda (according to that paragon of accuracy, Sy Hersh). Secret plans for attacking Iran. Condi Rice is stupid, liberal Keith Oralmann is smart! The Wolffe Man purred OlbySpin like a kontented kitty kat. Great thanks. Liberal Korb, again identified as "from the Reagan administration", was happy to join liberal Olbermann in demanding hearings and taking everything from liberal Hersh as proven fact. More great thanks.
#4: The Great Leak Case. One juror kicked out. Deliberations continue for yet another day. How can this be? According to Slippery, Libby's defense was "dead" on the first day of trial. Why is it taking them so long? Slippery did not explain. Many thanks.
Oddball (incorporating another O'Reilly attack); #3: American Idol. #2: James Cameron found "the bones" of "Jesus H Christ himself" (more rerun video); plus Al Gore's Oscar and Anna Nicole Smith. In the Media Matters Minute, attacks on the NRA (Blue Blog Source: Huffington Post) and a White House press guy (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress).
Finally, held for the last possible Nielsen minute, the latest Speshul Education Komment, complete with all the scripted camera pivots and staged dramatics (see APPENDIX below for the putrid details). It included this great moment:
There is, obviously, no mistaking Saddam Hussein for a human being, but nor is there any mistaking him for Adolf Hitler. Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to annihilate the Jews; who sought to overtake the World--is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole, it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it. And, defeated it.
Izzat so? We don't recall Oralmann spewing an irate Speshul Komment when Robert Byrd (D) compared Republicans to Hitler. Or when Dick Durbin (D) analogized the actions of US troops to Nazis. For that matter, we're still waiting for Herr Olbermann, who called the Bush administration a "new form of fascism", to apologize to the ADL for this:
But Olbypocrisy runs too thick and deep for that ever to happen.
Dogs that did not bark: How many days of coverage did Fat Ass give to Ted Haggard? And yet not one minute of coverage to this. Lots of praise for Al Gore, but no mention whatsoever about these inconvenient truths. Rumblings of dissatisfaction in Iran. Tony Blair sends more troops to the war zone. And still Olbermahn spikes the news of a federal court ruling that proves him to be a slovenly political hack.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is at #7,360 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #239. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #2,494 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #746 there, and is now in its 21st week on the New York Times bestsellers list. On Friday the discredited sports guy once again came in third in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". No wonder he had his writers crank out another Speshul Education Komment. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
And finally as promised, a special comments on the remarks yesterday by Secretary of State Rice.
We already know about her suggestion that the president could just ignore whatever congressional Democrats do about Iraq.
Just ignore Congress.
We know how that game always turns out. Ask President Nixon. Ask President Andrew Johnson.
Or ask Vice President Dick Cheney, who utterly contradicted Secretary Rice on Monday when he warned President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan about what those mean congressional Democrats could do to his foreign aid.
All of this, par for the course.
But about what the secretary said regarding the prospect of Congress' revising or repealing the 2002 authorization of the war in Iraq:
Here we go again! From springs spent trying to link Saddam Hussein to 9/11, to summers of cynically manipulated intelligence, through autumns of false patriotism, to winters of war, we have had more than four years of every cheap trick and every degree of calculated cynicism from this administration, filled with Three-Card Monte players.
But the longer Dr. Rice and these other pickpockets of a nation's goodness have walked among us, waving flags and slandering opponents and making true enemies--foreign and domestic--all hat and no cattle all the while, the overriding truth of their occupancy of our highest offices of state has only gradually become clear.
As they asked in that Avis commercial: "Ever get the feeling some people just stopped trying?"
Then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld thought he could equate those who doubted him with Nazi appeasers, without reminding anybody that the actual, historical Nazi appeasers in this country in the 1930s were the Republicans.
Vice President Cheney thought he could talk as if he and he alone knew the "truth" about Iraq and 9/11, without anyone ever noticing that even the rest of the administration officially disagreed with him.
The president really acted as if you could scare all of the people all of the time and not lose your soul--and your majority--as a result.
But Secretary of State Rice may have now taken the cake. On the Sunday morning interview show "Of Broken Record" on Fox, Dr. Rice spoke a paragraph, which if it had been included in a remedial history paper at the weakest high school in the nation would've gotten the writer an "F" â€” maybe an expulsion.
If Congress were now to revise the Iraq authorization, she said, out loud, with an adult present: "...it would be like saying that after Adolf Hitler was overthrown, we needed to change, then, the resolution that allowed the United States to do that, so that we could deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
The secretary's resume reads that she has a master's degree and a Ph.D in political science. The interviewer should have demanded to see them, on the spot.
[Direction: EYEBROW RAISE]
Dr. Rice spoke 42 words. She may have made more mistakes in them than did the president in his State of the Union Address in 2003.
There is, obviously, no mistaking Saddam Hussein for a human being. But nor is there any mistaking him for Adolf Hitler.
Invoking the German dictator who subjugated Europe; who tried to exterminate the Jews; who sought to overtake the world is not just in the poorest of taste, but in its hyperbole, it insults not merely the victims of the Third Reich, but those in this country who fought it and defeated it.
Saddam Hussein was not Adolf Hitler. And George W. Bush is not Franklin D. Roosevelt--nor Dwight D. Eisenhower. He isn't even George H.W. Bush, who fought in that war.
[Direction: SHOULDER SHAKE & HEAD BOB]
However, even through the clouds of deliberately spread fear, and even under the weight of a thousand exaggerations of the five years past, one can just barely make out how a battle against international terrorism in 2007 could be compared--by some--to the Second World War.
The analogy is weak, and it instantly begs the question of why those of "The Greatest Generation" focused on Hitler and Hirohito, but our leaders seem to have ignored their vague parallels of today to instead concentrate on the Mussolinis of modern terrorism.
But in some, small, "You didn't fail, Junior, but you may need to go to summer school" kind of way, you can just make out that comparison.
But, Secretary Rice, overthrowing Saddam Hussein was akin to overthrowing Adolf Hitler? Are you kidding? Did you want to provoke the world's laughter?
And, please, Madame Secretary, if you are going to make that most implausible, subjective, dubious, ridiculous comparison; if you want to be as far off the mark about the Second World War as, say, the pathetic Holocaust-denier from Iran, Ahmadinejad--at least get the easily verifiable facts right: the facts whose home through history lies in your own department.
[Direction: PEER DOWNWARD]
"The resolution that allowed the United States to" overthrow Hitler?
On the 11th of December, 1941, at 8 o'clock in the morning, two of Hitler's diplomats walked up to the State Department--your office, Secretary Rice --and 90 minutes later they were handing a declaration of war to the chief of the department's European Division. The Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor four days earlier, and the Germans simply piled on.
Your predecessors, Dr. Rice, didn't spend a year making up phony evidence and mistaking German balloon-inflating trucks for mobile germ warfare labs. They didn't pretend the world was ending because a tin-pot tyrant couldn't hand over the chemical weapons it turned out he'd destroyed a decade earlier. The Germans walked up to the front door of our State Department and said, "We're at war." It was in all the papers. And when that war ended, more than three horrible years later, our troops and the Russians were in Berlin. And we stayed, as an occupying force, well into the 1950s. As an occupying force, Madam Secretary!
If you want to compare what we did to Hitler and in Germany to what we did to Saddam and in Iraq, I'm afraid you're going to have to buy the whole analogy. We were an occupying force in Germany, Dr. Rice, and by your logic, we're now an occupying force in Iraq. And if that's the way you see it, you damn well better come out and tell the American people so. Save your breath telling it to the Iraqis--most of them already buy that part of the comparison.
[Direction: PIVOT! AND PEER DOWNWARD]
â€œIt would be like saying that after Adolf Hitler was overthrown, we needed to change then, the resolution that allowed the United States to do that, so that we could deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
We already have a subjectively false comparison between Hitler and Saddam. We already have a historically false comparison between Germany and Iraq. We already have blissful ignorance by our secretary of state about how this country got into the war against Hitler. But then there's this part about changing "the resolution" about Iraq; that it would be as ridiculous in the secretary's eyes as saying that after Hitler was defeated, we needed to go back to Congress to "deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after he was overthrown."
Oh, good grief, Secretary Rice, that's exactly what we did do! We went back to Congress to deal with creating a stable environment in Europe after Hitler was overthrown! It was called the Marshall Plan.Â
Gen. George Catlett Marshall!
Secretary of state!
The job you have now!
Twelve billion, 400 thousand dollars to stabilize all of Europe economically--to keep the next enemies of freedom, the Russians, out and democracy in! And how do you suppose that happened? The president of the United States went back to Congress and asked it for a new authorization and for the money. And do you have any idea, Madame Secretary, who opposed him when he did that? The Republicans!
"We've spent enough money in Europe," said Sen. Robert Taft of Ohio.
"We've spent enough of our resources," said former President Hoover.
It's time to pull out of there! As they stand up, we'll stand down!
[Direction: PIVOT! & ROLL EYES]
This administration has long thought otherwise, but you can't cherry-pick life--whether life in 2007, or life in the history page marked 1945. You can't keep the facts that fit your prejudices and throw out the ones that destroy your theories. And if you're going to try to do that; if you still want to fool some people into thinking that Saddam was Hitler, and once we gave FDR that blank check in Germany he was no longer subject to the laws of Congress or gravity or physics, at least stop humiliating us.
Get your facts straight. Use the Google!
[Direction: POWERFUL SILENT PAUSE STARE & PIVOT!]
You've been on Fox News Sunday, Secretary Rice. The Fox network has got another show premiering Tuesday night. You could go on that one, too. It might be a better fit. It's called "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"