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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
[UPDATED with audio clip]
Host: Keith Olbermann
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann bellowed the opening spiel: The House Passes The Bill!!!! GonzalesGate again, plus Karl Rove! Giuliani's wife is on marriage #3. Harry Houdini. UFOs, plus the usual KO crap, including Another Olbermann Lie, on the Last Hour of Spin For the Week!!!!
Oralmann, who sported Ashleigh Banfield's old glasses, kicked things off with Rule #1: threatening to veto a bill is "counterintuitive" or "self-destructive". The bill calls for the end of Bush's "fiasco" in Iraq. Keith celebrated its passage, in an exact reverse analog of his reaction to the loss of the Senate Iraq bill, which he never reported at all! Clips of unindicted co-conspirator Murtha (D) in tears. No clips of (R) lawmakers. Clip of Bush "virtually palpably vibrating with outrage". Um, how can anything be described as "virtually palpably vibrating"? You'll have to ask the Edward R Murrow of our time. Milbank, shorn of spectacular suits, was immediately asked if "Mister" Bush "walked into some kind of trap" (Rule #1 again). It was Milbank Puppet Theater as Dana played his role impeccably, averring the the White House was "passing the buck". Olby on "Mister" Bush: "Is he that unplugged?" Keithy Boy then leapt to the defense of pork: everyone does it, so it's OK. Haha! Just 24 hours after Olbermann Watch scorched him for not even reporting the pork, today he made excuses for it! What a tool. Great thanks.
Next up, Bill Clinton speaks up in favor of Hillary, as Oralmann rushed to reminiscence: "When I talked to the Senator last fall..." Youngman pontificated on the politics of it all in a discussion that was more reality-based than what we usually see on OlbyPlanet. Great thanks. Plus an update on the Pat Tillman controversy.
#4: Monkeymann deserves what he gets. His disbarred lawyer told him yesterday executive privilege only covers communications with the President, and today he repeated that canard as if it were fact. He then amplified his ignorance by claiming Rove was "one of the two senior administration officials responsible for the original leak".
Stop the tivo! The "original leak" was by Richard Armitage. Alone. Armitage was not in a secret plot with Rove. Rove had nothing to do with Armitage leaking the name. Zero. Zip. Nada. Bookmark this page, we have Another Olbermann Lie. Slater, the Bush's Brain guy, was there to claim Rove has in the past given dishonest testimony under oath. Only he didn't cite any perjury convictions, or even a contempt citation. Unlike, say, the case of Bill Jefferson Clinton who was disbarred for lying under oath and trying to fix a court case. That's our Olby: smear Rove, and slobber over B.J.
#3: A golden opportunity to pile on Giuliani because his wife is thrice-married. "Six marriages between them," crowed Monkeymann. Which is not just six times more but infinity times more than Fat Ass can claim. He went on to cite the "weirdness factor"--pretty bold talk for someone shacking up with a girl young enough to be a daughter, not to mention those private hotel rooms and bottles of Merlot. Serial Rudy-basher Barrett, hawking a book, did his usual character assassination, which is welcomed on OlbyPlanet as long as the victim has an (R) after his name. What are the odds "journalist" Oralmann will put on someone to defend Rudy? Or Rudy himself? Slim and none, and Slim just left town.
#2: Tainted pet food (regurgitated NBC reportage), Mel Gibson, Anna Nicole Smith. #1: Harry Houdini's cause of death (the best part of the program, except for Olby's disturbing grunts). In the Media Matters Minute, O'Reilly attack #168 (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). But the highlight was KO making himself a nominee (nothing worse than bronze, of course), because he admits that he slammed Glenn Beck for something he himself had done (when he called Roger Ailes "fat ass"). Of course there was a bit of Olby dishonesty here: "It occured to me that I had once called Roger Ailes 'fat ass'". It occured to me?!? You mean, it occured to you after Olbermann Watch pointed it out and humiliated you. Presumably we should be grateful for even a microspeck of responsibility from Herr Olbermann, but he could at least be honest about who pointed it out. Perhaps this was another of those things his producers are forcing him to do.
Muted mongrels: Herr Olbermann saw fit not to mention Tony Snow's current medical problem except for a rushed comment in the closing seconds of the program. That way our hero, the great opponent of political "hate speech", could deftly avoid any mention of the reaction to the Snow news. Of course Olbermahn protects his friends in Tehran by not even reporting their latest act of war. Plus more from the Gitmo transcripts. More Taliban killed. And in our weekly assessment of Keith Olbermann's masculinity, over the past week Olbermann has attacked Fox, CNN, and Limbaugh/right-wing pundits ten times; Olby criticisms of MSNBC: zero. Meanwhile, his primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC nine times. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -20 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #6,322 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #368. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is #3,281 at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,007 there. On Thursday "Man on Fan" Olbermahn finished in third place, both in total viewers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
UPDATE: We were not the only ones to notice Oralmann's weird spectacles. Here's a snippet from John Gibson's 8:00 pm radio hour: