We knew that the reaction would not be a good one in Loonland when word broke that Olbermann tried to score with Mary Carey.As usual, there was the standard disclaimer that you can't believe the NY Post because the evil Rupert Murdoch owns it. Or that the person doing the claiming is a porn star. But what they cannot explain is why she was such a favorite guest of his until ooh, right around the time the turn-down would have occured. We knew the Olbyloons would be in hyperdrive about this but we had no idea one of them would write a 10,000 word missive on it. Here, in full, we present the ramblings of one Olbyloon who is an Obessive Olbypologist. She claims her name is Kathy, aparently her role model is Kathy Bates in Misery.

Look.

It does not surprise me at all that the Keith-haters are trying to attack him again. They needed to do that; his star was just riding too high, and it was long past time to try shooting him down again.

What does surprise me is that they were actually able to secure the cooperation of Mary Carey to help them do their dirty work. But why should I be surprised? As she once said of the similarity between herself and the Republicans: "We both screw people!" So, yes, I do feel a bit amused that I am sitting here saying "Mary Carey...do something just for the MONEY?? I'm shocked...shocked!" (No, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if someone paid her to say this. Then again, maybe she's just pissed off that Keith rejected her, and decided it would be fun to take revenge on him during a radio show. That's actually the more likely story. It did seem to me that when they were together on his show, Keith was amused by her, but he didn't play along with any of her come-ons. And she may not be used to men like that.)

Do note, however, how fast and loose these stories play with the truth. Mary claims to have a voicemail in which Keith asked her out, but has the voicemail emerged? Did she keep it?

Second, Keith didn't have Mary as a guest on his show "once in 2003." He had her on his show twice in 2005 and once more sometime last year, I believe. They couldn't even get those details right.

Third, note he is identified only as an "MSNBC talk host." This makes him sound like the host of a talk show, not a news program. They're also careful to ID him as a "former sportscaster"...helps make him sound more like a horndog attracted to obviously hot women. (There are, of course, other small details inserted to make the whole thing sound worse...for example, the description of the voice mail as "rambling." Obviously, the point was to make it sound as if Keith was under the influence of something when he left the we-don't-know-it-exists message. When, well, those who know him knows he can "ramble" even when he's sober, but no matter.)

Fourth, I hardly think Katy qualifies as a "college gal." I believe the statute of limitations has run out on that as a description of her. If so, then I, too, qualify as a "college gal"...and I graduated from college before Katy was born.

In short, Rupert Murdoch and his minions are back on the trail again...they finally realized that if they really wanted to slam Keith with a "horndog" reputation, a nobody like Karmabites just wasn't going to cut it. They needed someone with a name and, dare I say, a reputation...someone who was willing to play ball...and they found her. Either by paying her to do it, or by carefully scrutinizing every tidbit of mention they could find of him in the media, and pouncing when they found this one. ("A porn star says on the radio that she rejected Keith...YESSSSSS!!!!! WE GOT A LIVE ONE!!!!!!")

Of course, they were more than willing to use Karma again for what good she did...they dredged her up again...and at least the Pest bothers to call Katy a "college grad."

Unfortunately the waters are so muddied in all this nonsense that I fear the Pest is going to be able to gain some traction as a result from people who will actually believe it. Keith's "flack" (whoever that is) didn't help matters any by saying "It's a well documented fact that Keith is off the market." First of all, Keith's not married and not even engaged, so he's not really "off the market." Second, only in the past few months have there been any news items acknowledging his relationship, so that hardly constitutes a "well documented fact." Third, even if you buy the idea that "in a relationship" = "off the market" and that a few newspaper/magazine articles (we won't count the Dan Patrick Show because what gets said on it normally doesn't reveberate throughout the media universe) constitute a "well documented fact"...well, Keith was NOT "off the market" last June, when Mary claims she got this voice mail. (In fact, the whole thing sounds as if it was deliberately targeted to upset Katy, infuriating her into thinking she was only Keith's "second choice" after a XXX porn star turned him down.)

If you ask me, this is a direct shot across the bow--it's time to attack Keith again, using the "wedge issue" his haters think is most likely to succeed in divesting him of his "librul" fans, especially the female ones: Paint him as a misogynist, skirt-chasing horndog. And if you can foment upset and doubt in the head of his young, impressionable girlfriend and possibly bring about the end of his relationship with her as a result, well then, that's icing on the cake.

Hey! Something just occurred to me. We're supposed to believe that Keith asked Mary out, yet she turned him down because she had a boyfriend at the time. You know, just like any other woman might. Because, as we all know, Mary Carey would never try to date two men at once. Or have sex with two men at once. Or anything like that!!!!

When you think about it, really...! THAT's comedy!

Well she is right about one thing, her rant is indeed, sheer comic genius. And of course, serves as a role model to Olbyapologists everywhere I'm sure.