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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Shockingly, the opening spiel began with Olbermann asserting that the President clearly lied because Tenet stated in his book there was no "serious debate" about the war. Dick Durbin tells the truth like no one else. Would he have been a patriot if he violated his oath of secrecy regarding classified intelligence to stop the Iraq war? The great attorney scandal [Ding!]. The hour of spin ensues.
UPDATE: Video & Transcript
#5: The hour of spin began like all before it, Bush lied! According to Herr Olbersturmfuhrer, there was no doubt anymore. Why? Because Dick Durbin said so. George Tenet, now worthy of being mentioned on Keith's show in a way that's not completely hateful because he's criticizing the administration, fills in the gaps for Keith's continuing argument the war was sold on lies. Though Keith doubts his sincerity because of the money he received for his book. Larry Johnson parrots Keith and suggests that Mr. Tenet was like "Al Capone's accountant." Thus, George Bush is Al Capone. Huh? Is Larry suggesting that the administration is like that of organized crime? Or is the President a tax evader because he is talking about the accountant? Proof? Not necessary on Olby Planet. Slander and smear whomever you want. Unusual for KO, he plays a clip of Dan Bartlett, Counselor to the President, rebutting the claim the war was sold on the "slam dunk" claim. Of course, Keithy couldn't contain himself and called Mr. Bartlett the "designated hatchet man" to discredit people who write "dangerous books." Dick Cheney clip follows using the "slam dunk" line yet the clip is strangely silent. Two-minute clip of Dick Durbin on the Senate floor aiming for forgiveness because he didn't tell the American people about the lies the administration was spreading about intelligence. Durbin "wanted to do something about it" but he couldn't, because he had to follow the law. Olby, of course, forgives him because he voted against the Iraq war bill. Keith leaves out the fact that several other Democrats on the committee voted for the war despite seeing that intelligence and hearing the administration's "lies." Man on Fan wonders what prevented Durbin and Tenet from "telling the truth." Johnson replies "carelessness." I guess so. They must have been too lazy to pay attention to the intelligence until four years later. Again, House Boy wonders if people should accept jail to stop a country from being "destroyed" and causing the deaths of 3,000 American soldiers rather than respecting the oath they take. Johnson continues to pleasure Keith by suggesting that Tenet himself is responsible for the deaths of Americans in Iraq. Keith pretends that he knows how history would have turned out if Colin Powell had resigned - never gone into war in the first place. Keith knows all, as usual. Johnson sums up Keith's dream by calling Tenet a coward and again suggesting that Tenet is solely responsible for all American soldiers killed in Iraq. Keith responds as if he's the listening to his preacher: AMEN! Lame joke follows about the Medal of Freedom surprisingly not leaping from Tenet's neck. Great thanks.
Dana Milbank, sadly without any interesting apparel, chimes in on the Iraq funding bill. Monkey Man claims Bush is "pretending Democrats are not sending him the funds." Of course, the President has never said anything to that effect. He is vetoing the bill because it has a timetable, not because he's not getting the money he wants. Big difference. Milbank parrots and agrees. KO, ever the one who wonders, asks what the symbolism is behind the veto coming on the four-year anniversary of the "Victory Accomplished" speech. Question about Dick Durbin's "extraordinary" statement. Is there a point in having a Senate intelligence committee? Apparently not. Classified information doesn't really matter. A great time is had by all. Great thanks.
Quick commercial break about the "fresh stench of scandal [Ding!]."
#4: Incredibly funny caption of "No E-mails For You" testing his viewers knowledge of Seinfeld. Blabbing for a couple minutes about the "scandal" and missing e-mails. Picture of Rep. Christine Jennings (D) mistakenly put up for Scott Jennings. Olbermahn's idea of a hard news segment.
Oddball. Skydiving stylist. Deer-inquents (har!) invade nursing home. PCs turned into dominos. Yawn.
#3: Meet the Dems. Debate seems like a job interview to Keith. Democrats are nice to each other. The President is the target. Requisite clips bashing the war in Iraq. Chris Cilizza enters the Spin Zone when Keith throws out the hardball of, "When people up to and including Pat Buchanan say Hilary Clinton looked Presidential last night. When people up to and including Chris Matthews say she sounded and appeared likeable and pleasant, does that mean she scored most highly last night?" But of course she did! Like one had to wonder what the answer was to that in OlbyLand. Cilizza lauded Clinton followed by Keith's doubts on Obama and Richardson's "gun stance" (aka, not in favor of a complete firearm ban) and "benefit of the doubt" vis a vis Attorney General Gonzales. More wondering if, gasp!, attacks may follow after the niceness of last evening's debate. Snooze inducing musings. Great thanks. Clips of Matthews laughing in a funny way. Keith's way of getting back at Matthews making note of Keith's inability to deal with anyone who disagrees with him.
#2: Regurgitated video from HQ on Stephen Hawking on a zero gravity flight. Keeping Tabs segment follows with Fat Ass using not one, but TWO gut busting fart jokes regarding Hugh Grant. I believe Edward R. Murrow pioneered the use of fart jokes in his broadcasts. Grant is in trouble for using a "silent, but deadly" weapon (throwing a container of baked beans). He was released on bail after being charged with suspicion of assault under the common law principle that "whoever smelt it, dealt it." Classy.
#1: The totally normal Michael Musto chimes in on Richard Gere for offending some Indians for kissing a Bollywood actress, which was regarded as obscene. Alec Baldwin clips from The View on his daughter. Musto makes reference to the gerbil rumor from the 90s. Murrow would be proud. Great thanks.
In the Media Matters minute, all the necessary slots were filled. The bronze went to John "Gibby" Gibson (Fox News) for comments on Iraqis (Blue Blog source: Media Matters). Runner up: Richard McCain for declining to call for Alberto Gonzales resignation soon enough for Olby (Blue Blog source: Media Matters). The gold goes to, guess who, a Republican! John Boehner for calling for a withdrawal from Somalia in 1993, which is totally comparable in a world changed by 9/11 (Blue Blog source: Think Progress).
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name slumped to #4,875 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #542. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains unranked at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,008 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. The MisterMeter was bored.
UPDATE: Video & Transcript
Keith Olbermann interviews Larry Johnson on George Tenet book