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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
To say Keith was mailing it in tonight would be to disparage all letter carriers.
Republican candidates were too angry (McCain), too blase (Guiliani), too slick (Romney), the Los Angeles Police Department violates the "civil rights" of "immigration protesters", Paris Hilton going to jail and the eagerly awaited piece of fluff and filler, the Oddball Extravaganza - Plays of the Month.
UPDATE: video & transcript below
#5 - Clinton-Byrd bill to "deauthorize" the war. Jonathon Alter plays it straight in his political analysis. Zzzzzzzz.
#4 - Republican Debate - a political seance, "ten of the whitest guys your ever going to meet", Keith notes that Bush was not attacked during the debate (so much for Keith's fondest hopes as repeatedly expressed in his pre-debate telecast), a snide remark about the candidates talking about Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton ("at least they left Chelsea Clinton out of it") despite the fact that Olbermann's co-host of the debate coverage Chris Matthews is the person who ASKED THEM about the Clintons. Dana Milbank joins the discussion just in time for Keith to claim "Ronald Reagan trained the Taliban in Afghanistan". Really? That would be news since the Taliban did not even exist in the 1980's. Then on to serious stuff, the DC Madam case and a left-turn into...Jeff Gannon - complete with naked photos of Gannon in the b-roll.
#3 - GonzoGate linked to Karl Rove (yawn). Slippery Shuster with the usual prattle "Alberto must go", "Republicans turning on Bush", Blah, Blah, Blah.
#2 - An objective report on the riot that broke out in Los Angeles on May - "May Day Melee", "Question of Brutality?" "Excessive Force?" Canned report from Peter Alexander. We learn the latino mayor returned from a trip abroad to deal with the "crisis" (no mention of the interesting fact that the Latino mayor made it a point o be OUT OF TOWN for the May 1 "immigration" rally). Some journalists are now saying they will sue and this was then related to the Democratic National Convention in LA in 2000 when seven journalists sued and settled for "thousands of dollars". Hmmmm. Seven divided some number less than 10,000 so each journalist got a few hundred bucks or maybe a little more to go away. Pretty compelling analogy. In the last few seconds we learn that there are calls for an investigation into who first attacked police. Surprised that was even mentioned at all.
Top 3 Soundsbites - Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton clip from Daily Show, Bush honoring Mexican celebration of Cinco de Mayo.
BREAKING NEWS - Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days. No "slut" crawl today.
Paul Thompkins joins Keith in time to observe (incorrectly) that "it's not like she's going to go to regular jail, she's going to go to rich white person's jail so it's all going to be OK". Actually, according to news reports she was sentenced to the L.A. County Jail which is reputed to be particularly unpleasant. Britney Spears appearance at House of Blues in West Hollywood so her outfit and lip-syncing was deemed news.
Keeping Tabs - David Hasselhoff drunk and Elizabeth Taylor "too sexy" for Simpsons wherein Keith offers his services to replace Taylor. Somehow I think Matt Groenig will pass on that one.
WPIW turned into a nice bit of Olbypocrisy - some guy who got drunk with an intern (we all know Keith hates bosses abusing their interns), senior career officials at the VA got bonuses (you mean like the career officials you've been championing in GonzoGate?) and a department store that uses a fire alarm to trick employees to leave the building so they could all be fired (we know important it is to Keith that employees be treated well).
#1 Story Oddball Plays of the Month - regurgitated montage of previously regurgitated segments from last month.
Mercifully the show ends in the usual fashion.
BREAKING NEWS in Book Sales: Olbermann Drops Completely Out of Barnes & Noble Ranking!
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sank to #3,981 at amazon.com where the price has been cut 70% to $6.89. "Culture Warrior" is #333 is selling at just a 30% discount or $16.38. So, O'Reilly is selling about 5,000% more books at almost three times the price. The OlbyTome drifted down and OUT at Barnes & Noble where it is no longer rated at all; O'Reilly's book is #1,010 there, and been heralded as one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [GUARDED]
UPDATE: video & transcript below