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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
BREAKING NEWS: Democrats Drop Troop Pullout Dates From Iraq Bill
WASHINGTON, May 22 - Congressional Democrats relented today on their insistence that a war spending measure sought by President Bush also set a date for withdrawing troops from Iraq. The decision to back down, described by senior lawmakers and aides, was a wrenching reversal for some Democrats, who saw their election triumph as a call to force an end to the war. A Democratic effort to include timelines prompted Mr. Bush's veto of the original bill last month, producing a political impasse.
Be still my heart, Keith Olbermann is actually saying that the Democrats caved to President Bush: "how the hell is anything if the President can just waive the benchmarks". Of course, this is pretty easy to do when they've had their hat handed to them by Bush. No wonder the Dems hate Karl Rove so much. Keith says he's "stretching" to say the Democrats won. Keith calls it a "Democratic collapse".
And June 3rd is FAST APPROACHING.
Story #5: Iraq - Keith calls Dem collapse a "disaster" and "betrayal". Even Paul Rieckhoff has to admit the President framed the debate and got what he wanted.
Story #4: Gonzales - whoops, the vote of no-confidence on Monday, then Tuesday, is not unlikely before the Memorial Day weekend. Where IS Keith getting his information. Ah! Right on cue....here comes Slippery Shuster, fresh off his stakeout of the DC Courthouse where he's still lurking in anticipation of Karl Rove's indictment by Patrick Fitzgerald.
Oddball - Keith proves the Loch Ness monster could not possible be real. Keith then addresses his day off last night saying "I've been off, big whoop, wanna fight about it?" Also, drunks at horse race, cat stuck in a carpet.
Newsmakers - Chinese weather machine, jet lag treatment, high-tech underpants.
#3: Campaign 2008 - McCain curses, makes a snide comment about Romney, Guiliani in 3rd place in Iowa, Edwards leading Dems in Iowa.
Chris Cillizza - Edwards leading because he "never left" Iowa. Guiliani has to follow the game plan from 2000 and 2004 by going to Iowa, then New Hampshire, then South Carolina even though the entire primary season has been drastically remade. Independent campaigns? Bloomberg?
Top 3 Bites: Bush joking around, stuck ducks, Paula Abdul tripped and injured.
#2: Dog Bites Kid - Determined to remedy the hit his image took last week for laughing when a young child was kicked in the head, sending her flipping through the air and landing face first on concrete, Keith feigns concern over another child attacked by dog as he sets up a canned piece from NBC News.
Keeping Tabs - Porn star pays homage to Katie Holmes by taking the name "Katee Holmes", Oprah's dad, Vernon Winfrey is writing a book and Oprah's not happy, Paris Hilton on a list of heiresses,
WPIW - dumb crook, Bill O'Reilly, Limbaugh (with the added note that Keith was listening to Rush while sitting in the toilet...nice!)
#1: Paris Hilton - carrying a bible, going to jail, blah, blah, blah.