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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith barked the opening spiel in true carnival barker fashion: Hillary Clinton won the debate! The abstract [Ding!], hypothetical [Ding!] terror plot, equated to trying to blow up the moon with Mentos. "So-called" terror plots timed for political purposes (uh huh, that again). Plus Paris Hilton, baseball, and more. Oh, and the William Jefferson indictment. Oops, sorry, that didn't make it into the spiel. Yes, Olby is back: tanned (of course!), rested, and ready.
#5: The indictment of William Jefferson (D). Um, no. For some reason, though it was a top-of-the-hour story today even on A-Mess-NBC and got scads of live coverage, it didn't lead The Hour of Spin. Instead, more Bad News from Iraq, and "Mister" Bush "fomenting" another Cold War with Russia. Clips from the Dem debate, focusing on Hillary with a slap at Wolf Blitzer.
To analyze all this, who better than Olbermann's Brain? KO: Hillary won the debate (again). Craig Crawford chortled agreement in his best Floyd-the-Barber style, and delivered insights like: "The top tier is still the top three." And we got another patented Olbermann run-on question:
Um, as to more of the substance than the styles and the impressions and the effects of what we saw, the, point from, from John Edwards about the recent war vote which we made as it was happening, will that prove to be, uh, enough for Mrs Clinton and Mr Obama, that they voted no on the war funding legislation, that amounted to a blank check for President Bush, given that they didn't give any indication of where they were going to go beforehand, that they did not, as, as Mr Edwards's words, uh, included, lead on the issue, that they didn't cast their votes till the, the thing had been already decided?
Whew! No one likes the sound of his own voice more than Edward R Olbermann. News from Iraq is "relentlessly awful"; Brain chuckled about troop deaths. After an oblique Orwell [Ding!] reference: Great thanks. Recycled NBC report from Iraq. And a quick (60 second) postscript: William Jefferson indicted.
#4: The alleged [Ding!] JFK terror plot: they could never have succeeded. Because the only terror plots that are real terrorism are the ones that involve sending a tablespoon of Tide to Krazy Keith. He knows so much better than law-enforcement after all. Boyd played along with Keithy about how hard it would be to get the fuel burning, yada yada yada, while Fat Ass suggested that when it comes to airport security, we keep focusing on the wrong things. Hello? Earth to OlbyPlanet: we just disrupted a terror plot. Doesn't that sound like we were focusing on the right things? The sock puppet got Great Thanksed.
#3: To take the above to even higher levels of tinfoilhattery, Herr Olbermahn used all this as an excuse to rerun his fictional "nexus" between politics and terror. Yes, the whole thing, plus addenda about "so-called" [Ding!] terrorists who are morons. Zzzzzzz. Of course the "so-called" JFK plot [Ding!] was just another Bush trick, designed to distract people from (get ready for this!) Sunday night's Dem Debate (Blue Blog Source: Talking Points Memo via American Street). Why was the "so-called" [Ding!] plot revealed by "the father of a Fox News reporter?" Because, dimwit, that father happens to be the Police Chief of New York City! Oh, and he had another brilliant insight, a devastating point that even the skeptic must see as definitive: this news breaks "just 18 months" before an election. Say what?!? With that broad a canvas to paint his conspiracy theories on, there's no date in the calendar Bathtub Boy can't find a "nexus" for.
KO did not explain why the eeevil Bush didn't pull this stunt before the first Dem debate, since first debates generally pull more viewers than rematches. Plus it would have had the extra benefit of distracting from the participation of the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann! But we're dealing in OlbyLogic here; don't try to make sense out of it.
#2: The Media Matters Minute, prefaced with references to Andrea Mackris and loofahs. (And Olby wonders why people make fun of his private life. Enjoy your glass house, moron!) Two O'Reilly attacks tonight, for disagreeing with Keith about immigration (Blue Blog Source Media Matters) and for expressing unapproved opinions about the TB Man (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Then he again brought up Andrea Mackris and, in a new low even for the repellent Olbermann, dragged O'Reilly's wife into his hateful diatribe. My God, Olbermahn, have you no shame?
After that display of verbal filth, we couldn't stomach any more, especially when the creepy Michael Musto is involved. We quit. We're taking another hiatus.
Dogs that did not bark: Remember all the David Shuster "scandal watch" exposes that somehow only talked about GOP scandals? Tonight we should have had a whole segment on a sitting Congressman's indictment. Instead we got virtually nothing. The dog didn't bark; it didn't even whine. We got a miniscule whimper and Monkeymann quickly dropped the subject. To be sure, he wasn't about to report that the Dow hit a record high today (again!), or that the S&P 500 did the same. When a key Al Qaeda leader is killed in Iraq, Olby spikes the story. Mr Freedom of the Press remains silent about the crackdown in Venezuela. Just like KO covers up for his Tehran buddy A-Jad--who declared the destruction of Israel is near. Oh, we should mention that Olbermoronn gloated that all charges were dismissed against a terror suspect, and used this to suggest his indictment was nothing more than "fear-mongering". So why are we bringing this up in the non-barking canine section? Because Keith is a slovenly partisan hack, and it's what he didn't say that is key. Edward R Olbermann omitted the most salient point: the case was not dismissed because of a lack of evidence, only because of a jurisdictional issue. In other words, the case will proceed, but in a different court. Is there a more partisan, biased, and irresponsible hour of "news" on any channel?
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name roars along at #3,167 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #555. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome has fallen below the ranking radar altogether at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,016 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday The Hour of Spin had to make do without Bathtub Boy, yet still finished in second place (third in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo"). Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]