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Host: Keith Olbermann
Cable News Ratings - June 6, 2007
8PM - P2+ (25-54)
1st Place) The O'Reilly Factor - 428,000
2nd Place) Nancy Grace - 266,000
3rd Place) Paula Zahn - 196,000
4th Place) Countdown w/ Olbermann - 179,000
4th in the beloved, all important coveted "key demo" for Olby? The blue bloggers are mobilizing. Olbersturmfuhrer is in full force tonight. Cheney, O'Reilly attacks, the Perfessor, creepy Musto on Paris Hilton (read: misogynist), we had a crazy show tonight!
Who pressed for "illegal" wiretappings? Who told the Justice Department they were wrong to object? Who precipitated for the "mass resignation" at that Department? Cue penis joke: Thanks Dick! ha! Who is trying to get habeas corpus back? Specter and Leahy. Lute hearings. Clip of funny. O'Reilly "slammed" by a judge. "Bill-O" targeted the judge. Slandering an innocent man. Blah blah blah. Paris Hilton attacks. All that and more! This reporter was spun like a record this hour.
#5: Der Fuhrer has a somewhat husky voice this evening. Something about Fred Thompson being compared to Dick Cheney. Olbermann's joke is lost on me. Cheney is playing a lawyer and is an actor? Ooo funny one. Olbermahn goes on and on about evidence of proving nothing. He still can't prove anything was illegal - he just doesn't like why it was done. Ok fine. But this is a hard news program, right? Enter Howard Fineman and that hardball from Olby. "Do these events not show the amazing power an old Washington power like Vice President Cheney has...?" WHOAH! Ease up there buddy. We don't want to hurt our poor guest like Bill-O does. In a profound fashion, Fineman agrees. Blabbing about Cheney and going over to see "poor old Ashcroft" in the hospital. Wasn't Keith criticising them for seeing Ashcroft in the hospital? He lets a snarky comment about a guy who was IN THE HOSPITAL go by? Amazing. They go on for some ten minutes about the Vice President. Never doubt an Olbsession. Fineman makes funnies using pop culture references. Great Thanks.
The President and the REPUBLICAN Congress "pushed through" the military tribunal commission act. Keith, acting as if HE'S a lawyer (even though last time I checked), he's not, states that everyone is guaranteed habeas corpus. Really Keith? Really? When did you become a constitutional lawyer? I think I should start a show and make fun of you. Oh wait, I'm here! Enter the Perfessor with some weird burn or really bad make up. Perfessor takes lobs from Olby about habeas corpus being the foundation of the Republican. Cue attacks on nuts like Sam Brownback (R). Keith ponders if it's understandable if "scared" Americans are feeling ok with the revocation of habeas corpus. The Constitution was designed to be "idiot proof." Hint Hint - Clue Clue. Since Keith won't admit he's really not a lawyer, he has his sock puppet and brain. The perfessor goes lengthy spiel. Fat Ass wonders why people don't get more fired up about Habeas Corpus. Maybe because no AMERICANS are being denied Habeas Corpus Olby? Nah. Ah, FINALLY, he mentions not being an American citizen. What does that mean? Nothing really. Everyone gets it. Great Thanks.
#4: Iraq. "War Czar." Gen. Lute has his doubts about the surge. No clips of an opposing "hopes" per the surge. One nameless General calling the results of the surge "mixed." Craig Crawford chimes in but decides not to be a parrot. Are Republicans going to break with the President and make it official instead of whispers? Hm. Don't know of the whisper campaign. I know what people say. Irrelevant. Ok, maybe he'll play with Olby a little bit. More inconsequential speculation. If there were something interesting to say here, I'd tell you. You'd be better off watching plaster crack.
Oddball: Funny masks people wear at the beach of G-8 leaders. People protesting the summit getting hosed down. Boat ride aka more protesters being sought by the police. O'Reilly attacks of essentially nearly taking a man's life. Michael Musto is coming to talk about Paris: yay!
News Makers: Some guy with a chainsaw. Someone staring at a police dog and making faces at it. Mayor in Illinois makes appearance in the bark of a tree who is since deceased.
#3: Uh oh. Here it comes. The big bad story about the eeeeeeeeeevil O'Reilly. Keith, never one to do his own research, found this story from here. Jabba makes several slanderous statements about O'Reilly until finally playing a clip from 2002 of O'Reilly actually QUESTIONING his guest to make sure he is ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the Judge told a rape victim to "get over it." The Boston Herald reporter confirms this. What is O'Reilly supposed to do? Waterboard him? We know that doesn't work on OlbyPlanet and is illegal. Nevertheless, O'Reilly is responsible for the Judge's near death experience. Apparently, Mr. Wedge (the reporter) is not responsible for his comments, O'REILLY IS. Because he appeared on his show to be questioned. Something Adam's Apple Olbermann would never do. The Judge's lawyer shows up. Keithy asks if O'Reilly bears as much responsibility as Wedge and why wasn't O'Reilly pursued? Well, they simply didn't have any evidence to do so because the lawyer actually admits that the statements came from the paper and the reporter, not O'Reilly. No matter, this is a huge story. Did O'Reilly apologize? No. On and on and on asking questions about O'Reilly, not the reporter Wedge. Why? Because Olby is desperate for anything to take down the man that clobbers him 3-1 nearly nightly in the overall and perhaps the beloved demo! Is critcizing a judge borderline reckless endangerment? OlbyPlanet it is.
Sound bites: Pat Buchanan on Paris. Seniors of Summer. Football fanatics.
#2: Bob Barker retirement. Regurgitated HQ video.
Keeping Tabs: Britney, Akon (four days late) throwing a kid off a stage. More teasing of Michael Musto's appearance.
#1: The creeeeeepy Michael Musto on Paris Hilton. "First she's in, then she's out, then she's in again. This must sound awfully familiar." hehehehe. Sex joke. Oh Keith, you're so bad. Musto speculates whether or not her herpes have spread to her brain. Edward R. Olbermann finds that funny too. Musto tells us he went to an Ivy League school. Great for you. Great Thanks.
In the Media Matters minute, some Police Department, thank you Keith for that. The Silver: Joe Lieberman. A former (D) so it's OK to criticize him. Blue Blog Source. Gold: Can you guess? Can you contain yourself? Wait for it.....wait for it......BILL ORALLY. Guess the source? Media Matters. Because he called Cindy Sheehan a coward for not appearing on his show. I dare say Olbermahn is a coward for not having a dissenting point of view.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name crash landed at #2,504 on amazon.com (necessitating a 80% off sale - ha! HA!), but "Culture Warrior" is #280. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) You can have it for $4.59 - ha!. The OlbyTome didn't rank as usual; O'Reilly's book is #1,402 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a dismal, humiliating and blogger lacking third place finish in total viewers coupled with a kick out the door of fourth in that "money demo" Olbsession. Fourth Place. No really, I mean it, HE'S GOT SECOND GUYS. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [GUARDED]