July 31, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 31st, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- GONZO-GATE: Convicted felon John Dean
- MILITARY SHUFFLE: Dana Milbank, Washing Post White House correspondent
- CULTURE OF CORRUPTION: Slippery Shuster
- RUPERT MURDOCH IS NOT HONEST LIKE OLBERMANN: Rachel Maddow of Err America
The slovenly, political hack was at it again tonight. Gonzo-Gate spreads! [Ding!] White House is not budging. Felon rehabilitation program with star pupil John Dean on a White House in Crisis and in denial! [Ding!] The nominee for Joint Chiefs has not gotten the "surge memo." Senator Ted Stevens under investigation, forget William Jefferson. Eeeeeeeeevil Rupert Murdoch buys Dow Jones and WSJ. Weird question as to why people would have sex with Michael Musto. Who would?
#5: "What looks like a flat footed lie by the Attorney General..." Remember, this is Keith the unbiased journalist folks! Yapping and whining like a little Yorkie and new Watergate reminder of the "Thursday night massacre of U.S. Attorneys." Did Gonzo lie when he denied internal disagreements? Clip of Tony Snow (Keith's personal friend). "So-called terrorist surveillance program." Arlen Specter again because he says something against the administration and is a Republican. Convicted felon of Republican hating books John Dean to help Olby out with "White Houses in crisis." "You've worked in White Houses that are in crisis, characterize this one..." Let's play hardball! Dean senses a distance between the AG and the White House. Der Fuhrer wonders if the letter about the Terrorist Surveillance Program not being called such is a "tea leaf" [Ding!] before a White House crumbles? The Felon replied that the weakness of the defense is telling. Gonzo has several days to fix his testimony. Hm, not good enough thinks Olby. "Let's back up to impeachment," says Olby. Do those House members have grounds and does it create a moral imperative for the House Leadership to pursue? Of course there are grounds, says the felon. Maladministration is not a high crime or misdemeanor but there's "a lot here." Olbersturmfuhrer wonders if there is a precedent. There was something close about 75 years ago, but no one has been as incompetent as Gonzo! Great thanks.
The eeeeeevil Vice President stood by "convicted perjurer" and a man who attempted to do something "so unamerican" (Edelman). Clip from Larry King Live interview with Vice President Cheney. "Perhaps not surprisingly, Mister Cheney was less than honest about Senator Clinton's letter." Water carrier time! Keith goes through a litany of excuses for the Senator. Shocking! Unbiased journalist!
Well kids, it's another OlbyPlanet session. The graphic read: "Reality on the Ground." You know what that means? Someone said something that computes with OlbyReality that everything is horrible in Iraq and that nothing is going to work. Not the surge, not conviction and fortitude, not a new strategy or a new General - nothing! Hence Mr. O'Hanlon naturally receiving WPITW without any coverage of what he actually said in the rag of record NYT. An Admiral to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has questions about Iraq and the possibility of success - security is most important. Troops won't make much of a difference without that - A HA! GOTCHA EVIL BUSH ADMINISTRATION! Wait, all he said was that they needed security and throwing a ton of troops in without creating security means it won't work. Well, duh. Furthermore, the soon to be chairman agreed that there has not been much political progress in Iraq - A HA! GOTCHA AGAIN EVIL BUSH ADMINISTRATION. Oh wait, no one disagrees with that. Yay - Dana Milbank sans ostentatious wear. Milbank thinks if the Admiral testifies one more time like that he'll go on a hunting trip with the Vice President - har har. Let's make fun of accidental shootings. Sophisticated journalism. "Dana, if he's not a yes man, how did he get a job in the administration?" - Keith. Again, non-water carrier journalism here. Milbank tacitly suggests Keith not to get carried away.
#4: Culture of Corruption - Republicans only. Graphic of Ted Stevens with corruption under his face. A recent bill passed cutting down on pork should have been called the "Neutered Ted Stevens act." ha. Actually, I agree with Olby here. Sen. Stevens is one of the biggest offenders when it comes to wasteful spending. But the real question is, what happened to Rep. Jefferson with the 100,000 in his freezer? Culture of Corruption? Anyone? Excitement over federal corruption probe into Ted Stevens. Slippery Shuster! Sweet. Slippery comes in to help Olby out with investigation details. Bribes of lawmakers, investigation details. Yawn. What is the reaction in the Senate, asks Keith? The Senate is an exclusive club, says Shuster. No one saying anything. Some lawmakers away from the camera say it's foolish to say anything until the thing is over. Will the ethnics bill meet any obstruction in the Senate? How does Sen. Stevens stand? He's against it of course. It's a sunshine bill, says Shuster. Of course everything is golden in a Democratic congress.
#3: The "evil empire" of Rupert Murdoch. For some reason, Rachel Maddow comes in to consult Keith. This is far more than a business acquisition, opines Oralmann. Konspiracy theory that news is a worthless investment and really is a microphone for his personal views and is going to be the biggest unchallenged voice in the media. "Nothing to see here, right?" vis a vis the editorial board's protection by a committee. "Wow, a committee," is all Maddow can muster. Intelligent. Thank you. Oh, Murdoch made similar promises before, the Times of London was respectable before he got a hold of it. Any chance of a reader backlash, hopes Keith? "The Journal's editorial page is just to the right of Atilla the Hun." HA! HA HA! The most original Olbyism of the night! And what you are you, Olbermahn? Just to the left of Karl Marx? Right wing politics = stretch the truth. DailyKos mention of a lawsuit filed against FNC who fired two employees claiming FNC told them to distort the news. Oh, this is getting to the really big story Maddow thinks. This is to make news worse! Konspiracy theory! The work of Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity is billed as news - NO IT'S NOT. IT'S OPINION. NEWS ANALYSIS. EARTH TO ERR AMERICA. Ugh. Countdown must be hard news. Rachael Maddow, the Ministry of Truth says Fat Ass.
#2: Golf course strippers. "Fore-play" tee hee. "Hole in one, you are hooking to the left and I've had trouble with my putts all day." hehe. Sex jokes! Regurgitated video from a LOCAL news channel.
#1: Creepy Michael Musto on the reasons people have sex. Enough said.
In the Media Matters minute, Rudy Guiliani claiming he cut taxes but not to the degree Olby's source tells him: Blue Blog Source GraniteGrok. DHS gets the silver for "bogus" dry run claims from Blue Blog source The Raw Story.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is #14,087 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,439. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is noticeably unranked at at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,404 there. Sadly, Thursday's Hour of Spin was mired at fourth Place in the Man on Fan beloved, coveted all important "key demo." Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
Gibson: Keith Olbermann's Tillman Claims Are "Slime"
On his radio program Monday night, John Gibson delivered his Bathtub Boy Report. The focus was on Olby's insinuations that Pat Tillman was killed on orders from "Mister" Bush (an implication also fostered by the use of the on-screen graphic "Mr Bush's Casualties"). We have the audio for your listening pleasure:
July 30, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 30, 2007
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- LIAR GONZO IS A LIAR: Jonathan Alter, James Moore (Huffington Post)
- POLITICS OF WAR: Richard Wolffe
- FOX ISN'T NEWS LIKE COUNTDOWN IS: Cenk Uygur (Err America)
The discredited sports guy is back! He bellowed the opening spiel at maximum decibel levels: "the walls close in" on Gonzo, another uproarious "Fox Noise" reference, fraud in Iraq, yetta nother attack on Fox, the Simpsons movie... Geez, this is like deja vu all over again. It's Groundhog Day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "Gonzo-gate". Impeachment! Lies! Resign! Perjury! Olby cites a New York Times editorial (keep that in mind!). "Fox Noise" (a knee-slapper that never gets old)! Lefty Alter was the chosen sock-puppet: "Gonzo is gone-zo". He'll be forced to resign. On-screen graphic: "The Lies That Bind". Cue Moore. On-screen graphic" Bush's Babysitter". What, are they giving "water boy" a rest? Great thanks. Oh, and Ted Stevens (R) had his house raided by the FBI. All the raids and searches and siezures of William Jefferson (D) were ignored on OlbyPlanet. Try to guess why. Update on Chief Justice Roberts.
#4: Iraq: the Politics of War. The Wolffe Man simpered that the British government really wants Hillary Clinton to be President. Maliki and Petraeus feuding. The Brookings Institution op-ed in the Times gets shot down by Wolffie as if he knew better than the two guys who just came back from there. That pleased The Great and Powerful Olb, who gave him Great Thanks.
#3: Fox "Noise" again (can't you just imagine Olbermann's giddy cackling every time he saw that line in the script? Well, somebody must find it funny.) Fox shouldn't be called news, it should be called Fox Opinion (Blue Blog Source: DailyKos). Yes, Herr Olbermahn lecturing someone else about the difference between news and opinion. The self-deluded irony could not have been thicker. Graphic: "Faux News". With genius wordplay like this, how could anyone deny that Olby is in fact the next Edward R Murrow? Oh, and don't forget "Fix Noise" is just a propaganda arm for the GOP. You know, like this. And this. Graphic: "The Fix Is In." Great thanks.
#2: Tom Snyder (he and Olby were such good friends, and, oh, Snyder admired Olby's work), Bill Walsh, Bill Robinson, Ingmar Bergman. #1: The Simpsons movie.
It's the most predictable segment of The Hour of Spin: The Media Matters Minute. "Comedian" Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars), and Brit Hume "of Fix Noise" (comedy gold that never gets old! Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars) for having the effrontery to utter a criticism of Democrats. By the way, Mr Hume is an "amoral, corrupt, water-carrying hack". [Olbersaurus!] Obviously, it's time for Krazy Keith to look into this.
Dogs that did not bark: The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is notorious for cherry-picking what he reports. We have documented how he will select only the polls that support his spin, sometimes even only the portions of the polls that suit his propaganda purposes. He does the same thing with newspapers. If the New York Times runs an editorial or an op-ed that parrots Herr Olbermann's talking points, you can be sure it will be cited as Big News--or even a "tipping point"--on The Hour of Spin. Just as he will lift stories from them when they serve his agenda. Sometimes Oralmann will not only trumpet the importance of the Timesarticle, he will even interview the author to drive the point home further. But then, there are the New York Times op-eds that don't quite sit well with the exalted ruler of OlbyPlanet. Like this one, penned by two long-time critics of the Iraq war. And you will not be surprised to learn that it was not greeted with the same eager adoration as all of the above examples. In fact, Edward R Olbermahn didn't report on the substance of the piece at all. Other than a dismissive comment from The Wolffe Man, Olby handled this story by ignoring it, and simply making the author one of tonight's "worst persons"--problem solved! (Blue Blog Sources: Eschaton and Carpetbagger Report)
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name circles the drawn at #33,392 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,060. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,404 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday, Dan Olbermoronn continued his "lock on second place" as The O'Malkin Factor crushed him once again, and poor Olby finished a miserable third in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]
July 27, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 27, 2007
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- LIAR BUSH IS A LIAR: Disbarred lawyer John Dean
- PAT TILLMAN: Another conspiracy with Jon Soltz
- LINDSAY LOHAN, THE SIMPSONS, HARRY POTTER: Hard news
KO served up an anemic opening spiel: the AG is corrupt, the President is a liar, and Keith's favorite felon explains it all. Plus Tillman, Harry Potter, and the usual dregs of OlbyPlanet. Just right for casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "House of Scandal". Gonzales "lied", the White House is "trying to claim", and it's all "parsing". Obligatory clip of Tony Snow vs the tonsorially-enhanced David Gregory. Keith Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program held another meeting with its star pupil, John Dean. "They" don't want the truth out. The criminal contradicted himself within the space of 60 seconds (Gonzo can't avoid perjury, except that he can). Oralmann wanted to know if Tony Snow (Olby's self-proclaimed "friend") is about to become like Nixon's [Ding!] press secretary. Flashback to Watergate [Ding!] and Nixon [Ding!].
More on Pat Tillman. Maybe he was murdered. Unless he wasn't. Maybe Cheney did it. Possibly on orders from Halliburton and Bill O'Reilly. Lefty Soltz said it's all a lie and it was homicide. What's more, it's "the fault of our President". Olbermahn even cooked up the motive: Tillman was a John Kerry supporter. Yes! Yes! It was Cheney, Halliburton, and O'Reilly!! Another scoop for Edward R Olbermann. Onscreen graphic: "Mr Bush's Casualties".
#4: Question: how many astronauts does it take to fly the space shuttle? Answer: three and a fifth. Recycled video from NBC. #3: The seemingly endless Harry Potter interview continued, i.e. another rerun from the network. #2: The Simpsons movie (this too regurgitated from NBC--Dan Olbermann is really phoning it in tonight), plus Nicole Ritchie. #1: Lindsay Lohan and other hard news. Where's Michael Musto?
In the Media Matters Minute, sure enough, Bathtub Boy once again fed his all-consuming Olbsession. Before attacking Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: The Carpetbagger Report) and his "hatred of Mexicans" (i.e. he supports enforcing immigration laws), it was yet another salvo against the eeevil O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars). What, do these come nightly now? Apparently so. Since DailyKos has decided to make it a crusade, Herr Olbermann leaps to rally the jihadists. And of course, another smear of Mr Bill means Olbermahn lied again: "He then ordered Miss Hall's microphone cut off." There's really no argument about this one. O'Reilly said no such thing. Where did Oralmann get the idea that he did? He made it up! (Tip: that's why he didn't show the video!...click on 'media hero' to watch) In other words, Another Olbermann Lie.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox or "right-wing" pundits 12 times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC five times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -24 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a stunning #11,641 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #815. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,330 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing third yet again in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
July 26, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 26th, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- BEDTIME FOR GONZO?: Slippery Schuster and the Wolffe Man
- EVIL NEO CON EDELMAN: Fmr. Nato Supreme Allied Commander and Democrat Gen. Wesley Clark
- THE NEXUS OF POLITICS AND TERROR: William Bunch of the Philadelphia Daily News
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann behaved like a typical blow-hard and bellowed his way though the usual dubious opening spiel. The President's "brain" subpoenaed. Clip of Chuckie Schumer (D-NY) about telling the truth. More serious Olbsession Gonzo-Gate "lies." The Edelman letter gets a P.S. apology from Secretary Gates topped off by the "nexus of terror and politics." Read: Konspiracy Theory. The cat that knows when you'll die. More J.K. Rowling regurgitated video. You wonder why it took me so long.
FINISHED
#5: Keith is dizzied by the DNC talking points he spews out - oh wait the most 'scandal ridden day ever.' The Democrats aren't doing the "people's business" and specifically not protecting them from a "rogue" President and a "lawless" executive branch. Remember folks, this is Keith the unbiased journalist. Gono-Gate blab and lamenting that Paul Clement is responsible for investing the AG on perjury charges. The White House is an "expert" in "out of control" behavior. Another clip of Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) for about a minute or so. No ID of his party. Bring in ever reliable David Schuster. Surprisingly, Slippery hasn't started a countdown to when AG 'Gonzo' is going to step down or be fired. A "disasterous" 24 hours for Gonzales. Everyone contradicts him. This is seemingly a clear case of perjury, according to some. Olbermahn wonders why Republicans have not jumped to join Keith's Gonzo-Gate crusade. Mention of Sen. Arlen Specter naturally. Paul Clement reports to the White House which means if the President does not want a "perjury investigation of his close friend Alberto Gonzales" then there won't be one. Notice how Slippery makes it sound as if he won't do it to protect his buddy. Sadly Congress can't force Clement. They'll just have to impeach the President or the Attorney General. Olbersturmfuhrer caps off the session with a Watergate [Ding!] reference. And a mention of Robert Bork as solicitor general then. Ok?
"This would surely qualify as a watershed moment [Ding!] or even a Watergate [Ding!] moment." Olby is, naturally, talking about the subpeona of Karl Rove, the "brain." To help Olby out, he brings in his own brain, the Wolffe Man. Anti-Congress bluster from Tony Snow. The deep ethical hole the administration has dug itself. Remember, Olby is a "journalist." As is Wolffe Man who opines the administration could not get far enough away from the 2000 pledge to restore honor to the White House. Watergate [Ding!] figure Fred Fielding brought in to "stonewall." Valerie Plame mention. Is there any political leverage to clean up the President's act? asks Olby. Not really, except to impeach Gonzo says Wolffie. I woke up when Keith mentioned the low polls that Congress is getting. Wolffe Man says it breaks both ways vis a vis party. Back to sleep - great thanks.
#4: I think in an attempt to sully and insult a journalist and a legacy that Fat Ass cannot, will not, and should not match ever, he quotes his hero Edward R. Murrow saying, "We should not confuse dissent with disloyalty." Even more HILARIOUS is the fact that he mentions Senator Joseph McCarthy, a man who Mr. Murrow was not in agreement with but brought on to respond to Mr. Murrow unlike say a one.....Edward...R....Olbermann. No one disagrees on OlbyPlanet. If you do, you're banned! Eric Edelman's eeeeeeeeevil letter suggesting Senator Clinton shouldn't discuss withdrawl. Quotes of Sec. Gates's letter to Mrs. Clinton. Unbiased Democrat Gen. Clark comes in to discuss. Why does Mr. Edelman still have a job? wonders Olby. Good question, says Mr. Clark! He even furthers a favorite of mine, Konspiracy Theories. Clark believes it was a coordinated attack orchestrated by the White House through the Pentagon because of Mrs. Clinton's profile. Un-huh. Even if that were true, why would it come as a surprise that a letter from an UNDER SECRETARY who REPORTS TO THE DEFENSE SECRETARY who REPORTS TO THE PRESIDENT go through the White House? hum. Guess who is behind the whole thing, kiddies? THE EEEEEEEEEVIL KARL ROVE. NATURALLY. Clark believes that Sec. Gates should be consulting congress regarding policy. WHAT? Since when has Congress dictated foreign policy? They control the purse strings, nothing else. Sec. Gates carries out the wishes of the President. Want to end the war? Cut off the money. If you don't have the guts to do it, stop whining. Clark wonders why Gates didn't bring Sen. Clinton over for breakfast.....to discuss things. Who wanted this quarrel? The White House. Breaking News: Pat Tillman cover-up which is a legitimate story. But if you think this is going to be covered without mentioning the horrible people in the White House, you'd be drunk like me. Because Clark wonders how far up it went not to give any indication of what happened to Pat Tillman. You can be sure that idea didn't stop at the two or three star level says Clark. Tillman was a political used by the administration for its purposes when it suited them. Great thanks.
Oddball: A dog chase. Basketball hoop collapses on a guy.
#3: The nexus of politics and terror. Konspiracy theory of leaked TSA memo and its "timing." Another mention of Arlen Specter criticising AG Gonzales. Relevance? None. Will Bunch of the Philadelphia Daily News plays along with the Konspiracy Theory a little bit. He says the airport TSA agents did a good job - not a team player at that moment. He does wonder why it was leaked at the moment. It bumped all those Gonzo stories off the MSM. He does a weird eye roll after talking about dry runs for a while. He sucks up to Keith at the end by saying he "learned from the best" when Keith shows a clipping from a student newspaper they worked at together. Keith's why he went into journalism. Eek.
#2: The cat that knows when people are going to die. Regurgitated video.
Keeping tabs: Lindsay Lohan. Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband robbed. Keith does a bad German accent.
#1: More regurgitated video from the mothership of the J.K. Rowling interview.
In the Media Matters minute, some water supervisor. Runner up, Bill-O! Funny voice and difference between Daily Kos and O'Reilly's website. Of course, Olbermahn can't fathom the fact that one is a blog and the other a message board. Keith cites a post threatening Senator Clinton's life on his message board. Mr. O'Reilly suggested this post was planted - and he may have been right. The source for this story was naturally DailyKos because Oralmann loves to shill for them. Our very own J$ has once again debunked the KosKiddies as well as their water carrier here. Gold, funny named "Coutlergeist" because of some weird Konspiracy Theory that she somehow admitted Fox News shills for the Republican party. Do you shill for anyone, like Kos, Olby? Or the entire liberal establishment?
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's struggled at humiliating, painful and otherwise embarrassing #15,587 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #1,914. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,341 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a laughable and typical third place place finish in total viewers as well as that "money demo" Olbsession. Source. Worth mentioning that Mr. Bill's money demo was bigger than Countdown's entire viewship. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
July 25, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 25, 2007
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- GONZALES THE LIAR: Patrick Leahy (D)
- IMPEACH BUSH NOW: Bruce Fein
- TREATMENT OF VETS: John Daniel Shannon
- BRITNEY SPEARS & LINDSAY LOHAN
- THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS:
The place: A-Mess-NBC headquarters. The time: early evening, July 25, 2007. In a small, dusty room, secluded in an odd corner of the building, the production staff of Countdown is about to begin their nightly pre-show meeting.
PRODUCER: He should be here any minute now.
INTERN: Is he always this late?
PRODUCER: It depends. Sometimes it's the bathtub. Sometimes he's late getting out of therapy. And then, there are the meets.
INTERN: Meets?
PRODUCER: Meetings. There are several seedy hotels in the area, you know.
INTERN: Do you want me to call him and tell him we're ready?
PRODUCER: I don't think so. Have you written a note and placed it in the box outside his office door?
INTERN: No. That's right. Sorry.
PRODUCER: Oh wait, I think I hear him coming.
OLBERMANN: Soooo, which of these stories will the world be talking about tomorrow? What do you have lined up for me tonight?
PRODUCER: Well, we've got the usual mix of politics and tabloid trivia. We're going to start out with--
OLBERMANN: Who are you? Are you new here?
INTERN: I'm the new intern.
OLBERMANN: What's your name?
INTERN: Mandy.
OLBERMANN: That's a nice name.
PRODUCER: Um, sir, we're going to start out with the biggest news of the day: Gonzales and the subpoenas.
OLBERMANN: Good choice. It's on the lips of every American. Can I call him a liar?
PRODUCER: Yeah, that's expected by now.
OLBERMANN: Hmm, let's see. Comments from Rockefeller, Conyers, Harman... You don't have anything in here from Republican Congressmen or Senators.
PRODUCER: Oh, I'm sorry sir. I can--
OLBERMANN: No, this is excellent. Just the way I like it. We got Shuster tonight?
PRODUCER: Yes, sir. He'll play it up real big for you. He'll say "it's a clear case of perjury, not even close".
OLBERMANN: Oh yeah, Shuster talks a big game. I'm still waiting for that Karl Rove indictment he promised me. No biggie. The blogs will eat it up. They'll swallow anything. Say Mandy, do you--
PRODUCER: Um, Mr. Olbermann, sir, we've also got a Senator for you to interview.
OLBERMANN: Oh really? You aren't going to throw me some sort of curve, are you?
PRODUCER: Oh no sir. I wouldn't do that. We got Senator Leahy.
OLBERMANN: Oh that's fine. You know, our guest list is like none other in all of cable news.
PRODUCER: That's right, sir.
OLBERMANN: What grade are you in, Mandy?
INTERN: Just graduating college, sir.
PRODUCER: Do you want to see the Leahy questions I've written for you?
OLBERMANN: Oh all right. Let's look them over here...
- Congressman Harman has summed it up that he seemed to selectively declassify information to defend himself. Do you agree with that assessment?
- Do you think a perjury investigation might be in order at this point?
- Can you create an office of special prosecutor? Can the Senate, can the House, impeach Mr Gonzales?
- Do you agree with Mr Snow's assessment?
- Can you point to any evidence that any prosecutor was fired to affect an ongoing investigation?
OLBERMANN: Hmm, a little overboard, don't you think?
PRODUCER: How so?
OLBERMANN: Well, that last question.I don't want to put Leahy on the spot. Asking him for evidence? He's our guy after all.
PRODUCER: You really think that question is too tough?
OLBERMANN: Well, I can always soften it up a bit on air.
PRODUCER: Ad-lib? Are you sure you want to try that again, sir? How about you throw out that one horribly over-the-top question and I'll write you something innocuous, maybe taking a shot at Dick Cheney?
OLBERMANN: That's more like it. Say Mandy, what do you like to do for fun?
PRODUCER: Getting back to the show, we have a bang-up second segment, all about impeachment. I've got another gem of an interview too.
OLBERMANN: Not Turley again?
PRODUCER: No, I actually got a conservative for impeachment. He's--
OLBERMANN: Let me guess. Bruce Fein.
PRODUCER: How did you know?
OLBERMANN: C'mon. What other conservative legal scholar agrees with him? Can you name one?
PRODUCER: Well, no.
OLBERMANN: Excellent. I like the intro here. "Mister" Bush, Nixon references, White House in Crisis. Good stuff.
PRODUCER: Take a look at the questions for Fein. See if they're OK.
OLBERMANN: All right, let's see... Do you think this President should be impeached?... What is the soundest legal case for impeachment? Good stuff. And definitely not overboard.
PRODUCER: Thank you, sir.
OLBERMANN: By the way, that "Ho" business you pulled when I was off? Classic!
PRODUCER: But they made you apologize.
OLBERMANN: The apology worked out great. Got me all sorts of buzz. As long as they don't expect me to start apologizing for anything I say.
PRODUCER: Oh no, sir. I'm sure nobody expects that.
OLBERMANN: What school do you go to Mandy?
INTERN: Warren G Harding University.
OLBERMANN: Where exactly is that school?
PRODUCER: Mr Olbermann? Did you see all the jabs at Fox we got in there? There's one in the spiel, one in the top newsmakers--
OLBERMANN: How does the script read?
PRODUCER: Huh?
OLBERMANN: The part about Fox, what does it say?
PRODUCER: It says "Fox Noise"--
OLBERMANN: Bwahaahaaahaaa! Har, har, Haaaaaaaaa! Man, that's just hilarious stuff. Bwahaahaahaaaaa!! Fox Noise! Hahahaaaaaaa!
INTERN: I don't get it.
PRODUCER: We've got another story about mistreatment of injured vets, plus Britney and Lindsay.
OLBERMANN: No Tom Cruise? Why can't we talk about Tom Cruise?
PRODUCER: You just talked about him on Monday, sir.
OLBERMANN: So what?
INTERN: I like Tom Cruise.
OLBERMANN: What about worst person? What did you dig up there?
PRODUCER: It's pretty much like we do every night. I got a gem from Daily Kos and because we're balanced, I also took one from Media Matters.
OLBERMANN: Does it have O'Reilly? Do We Have An O'Reilly Attack Tonight? Answer me!
PRODUCER: Of course it does.
OLBERMANN: Lemme see it. Looks good and... Oh man! Bwaahaaaahaaaaa! That's too much. "Billo". Haahaaaaahaaaa! Oh, and--I can't keep a straight face--"Orally"! "Orally!!" Bwahaaaaahaaaa! Man, that's comedy gold.
PRODUCER: So you approve of tonight's script?
OLBERMANN: I guess so, but with only one O'Reilly attack it still sounds a little tepid. Why didn't you spice it up? You should've written up another Special Komment for me. Those always go over with a bang.
PRODUCER: Haven't you been going to that well a little too often, sir?
OLBERMANN: Are you kidding? The blogs love 'em! Maybe I can start alternating Special Komments with Special Apologies. What do you think, Mandy?
INTERN: I really wouldn't know, sir.
OLBERMANN: Have you ever tasted Merlot?
PRODUCER: Um, it's just about air time sir. Don't you think you should get to the studio?
OLBERMANN: Yeah, all right. Don't go away, Mandy. You know I keep tapes of every broadcast I do. I have them all entered into a chronological list, and later tonight I'd really like to show you my Countdown log.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plumetted to #31,025 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,714. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,314 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Tuesday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing a weak third in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 24th, 2007
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- Attorney General Alberto Gonzales denied Tuesday that he and former White House chief of staff Andy Card tried to exploit then-Attorney General John Ashcroft's frail condition by pressuring him to recertify President Bush's intelligence-gathering program during a now-famous 2004 hospital visit. Gonzales said that he and Card had been urged by congressional leaders of both parties to take steps necessary to ensure that the unidentified intelligence program survive a looming deadline for its expiration. AKA Gonzo-Gate!
- U.S. may stay in Iraq to '09, based on new plan. Strategy gives more time to establish security; at odds with Congress' push. AKA eeeeeeeeeeevil Administration "not listening to the Generals"
- Young, Internet-savvy voters challenged Democratic presidential hopefuls on Iraq, the military draft and the candidates' own place in a broken political system, playing starring roles in a provocative, video-driven debate Monday night. The candidates faced a slew of blunt questions - from earnest to the ridiculous - and, in many cases, responded in kind. AKA smart voters ask Democrats "tough" questions to prove they aren't OlbyLiberal enough
- More Harry Potter
- The troubled saga of Lindsay Lohan AKA misogynistic comments
Working.....comment away....
July 23, 2007
Countdown with Keith Olbermann - July 23, 2007
Host: Keith Olbermann
Topics/Guests:
- THE INFAMOUS DICK CHENEY: Richard Wolffe
- MITT ROMNEY'S EVIL SIGN: Jonathan Alter
- SPACE JUNK: Derrick Pitts
- SCIENTOLOGY: It's Cruise News!
Olby was back with the opening spiel again, but we were so taken with his pronouncement that he is truly a "journalist" who only occasionally injects comment or opinion into his broadcast that we decided to put that claim to the test. So tonight we break from our usual format. We'll simply note Edward R Olbermann's words, since they will doubtlessly prove what an unbiased and straightforward "journalist" he really is.
The spiel:
- Acting President Dick...don't wear your good shoes
- Admiral McConnell's backtrack
#5:
- Dick Cheney is newly portrayed as a power-obsessed prophet of doom.
- [re President's polyps found benign] Your joke about what else might have been found there, just as much of a formality.
- The war that Cheney and Rumsfeld lied this nation into...
- Keep perpetuating the lie [that Iraq is part of war on terror].
- Might the Vice President be his own worst enemy?
- Might he be our worst enemy?
- As for the bit-player President...
- [re the Attorney General] Image is everything. Image must be fixed. It's never a problem of substance. It's never a problem of competence.
- Think of all those US Attorneys who weren't fired for political reasons.
- [re torture guidelines] Hiding behind the veil of secrecy...
#4:
- [re Romney] He took Obama's age-appropriate sex-ed statement and twisted it...
- Is there not something representative about that photo?
- A sort of cavalier quality to the campaign, the Romney campaign thus far, sort of, no interest in restraint...
- [re Romney] He has been bashing Mexican immigrants [that's actually Alter talking but we couldn't overlook something so tendentious]
- [re Republicans] Is it all going to be who can come up with the most clever slogan?
- [re Romney] Is he following the President's course for a while of trying to minimize the meaning of Bin Laden in the world today?
- [onscreen graphic] Mittwit
Well, that seems pretty clear. Keith is obviously a straight, no-nonsense journalist. Oh he'll do a commentary "periodically", but clearly his reporting night after night is wholly untainted with even a scent of favoritism or partisanship.
Note: Olby squeezed in an apology for the Wendy Vitter Is a Ho program. Of course he emphasized that it happened "on a night I was off". And the perpetrators were fired? Discliplined? Suspended? Apparently none of the above.
#3: Junk in space. #2: NBA Scandal [regurgitated NBC video], plus Harry Potter, Britney Spears, Drew Carey. #1: Cruise News! Whoooopeeee!! Where is Michael Musto?
In the media matters minute, Oralmann attacked Fran Townsend (R; Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars), Bill O'Reilly (Fox; Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), and Sean Hannity of "Fox Noise" (hilarious still!; Virtually Verbatim Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Yep, more of that unbiased, nonpartisan, straightforward reportage from the discredited sports guy.
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