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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The slovenly, political hack was at it again tonight. Gonzo-Gate spreads! [Ding!] White House is not budging. Felon rehabilitation program with star pupil John Dean on a White House in Crisis and in denial! [Ding!] The nominee for Joint Chiefs has not gotten the "surge memo." Senator Ted Stevens under investigation, forget William Jefferson. Eeeeeeeeevil Rupert Murdoch buys Dow Jones and WSJ. Weird question as to why people would have sex with Michael Musto. Who would?
#5: "What looks like a flat footed lie by the Attorney General..." Remember, this is Keith the unbiased journalist folks! Yapping and whining like a little Yorkie and new Watergate reminder of the "Thursday night massacre of U.S. Attorneys." Did Gonzo lie when he denied internal disagreements? Clip of Tony Snow (Keith's personal friend). "So-called terrorist surveillance program." Arlen Specter again because he says something against the administration and is a Republican. Convicted felon of Republican hating books John Dean to help Olby out with "White Houses in crisis." "You've worked in White Houses that are in crisis, characterize this one..." Let's play hardball! Dean senses a distance between the AG and the White House. Der Fuhrer wonders if the letter about the Terrorist Surveillance Program not being called such is a "tea leaf" [Ding!] before a White House crumbles? The Felon replied that the weakness of the defense is telling. Gonzo has several days to fix his testimony. Hm, not good enough thinks Olby. "Let's back up to impeachment," says Olby. Do those House members have grounds and does it create a moral imperative for the House Leadership to pursue? Of course there are grounds, says the felon. Maladministration is not a high crime or misdemeanor but there's "a lot here." Olbersturmfuhrer wonders if there is a precedent. There was something close about 75 years ago, but no one has been as incompetent as Gonzo! Great thanks.
The eeeeeevil Vice President stood by "convicted perjurer" and a man who attempted to do something "so unamerican" (Edelman). Clip from Larry King Live interview with Vice President Cheney. "Perhaps not surprisingly, Mister Cheney was less than honest about Senator Clinton's letter." Water carrier time! Keith goes through a litany of excuses for the Senator. Shocking! Unbiased journalist!
Well kids, it's another OlbyPlanet session. The graphic read: "Reality on the Ground." You know what that means? Someone said something that computes with OlbyReality that everything is horrible in Iraq and that nothing is going to work. Not the surge, not conviction and fortitude, not a new strategy or a new General - nothing! Hence Mr. O'Hanlon naturally receiving WPITW without any coverage of what he actually said in the rag of record NYT. An Admiral to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has questions about Iraq and the possibility of success - security is most important. Troops won't make much of a difference without that - A HA! GOTCHA EVIL BUSH ADMINISTRATION! Wait, all he said was that they needed security and throwing a ton of troops in without creating security means it won't work. Well, duh. Furthermore, the soon to be chairman agreed that there has not been much political progress in Iraq - A HA! GOTCHA AGAIN EVIL BUSH ADMINISTRATION. Oh wait, no one disagrees with that. Yay - Dana Milbank sans ostentatious wear. Milbank thinks if the Admiral testifies one more time like that he'll go on a hunting trip with the Vice President - har har. Let's make fun of accidental shootings. Sophisticated journalism. "Dana, if he's not a yes man, how did he get a job in the administration?" - Keith. Again, non-water carrier journalism here. Milbank tacitly suggests Keith not to get carried away.
#4: Culture of Corruption - Republicans only. Graphic of Ted Stevens with corruption under his face. A recent bill passed cutting down on pork should have been called the "Neutered Ted Stevens act." ha. Actually, I agree with Olby here. Sen. Stevens is one of the biggest offenders when it comes to wasteful spending. But the real question is, what happened to Rep. Jefferson with the 100,000 in his freezer? Culture of Corruption? Anyone? Excitement over federal corruption probe into Ted Stevens. Slippery Shuster! Sweet. Slippery comes in to help Olby out with investigation details. Bribes of lawmakers, investigation details. Yawn. What is the reaction in the Senate, asks Keith? The Senate is an exclusive club, says Shuster. No one saying anything. Some lawmakers away from the camera say it's foolish to say anything until the thing is over. Will the ethnics bill meet any obstruction in the Senate? How does Sen. Stevens stand? He's against it of course. It's a sunshine bill, says Shuster. Of course everything is golden in a Democratic congress.
#3: The "evil empire" of Rupert Murdoch. For some reason, Rachel Maddow comes in to consult Keith. This is far more than a business acquisition, opines Oralmann. Konspiracy theory that news is a worthless investment and really is a microphone for his personal views and is going to be the biggest unchallenged voice in the media. "Nothing to see here, right?" vis a vis the editorial board's protection by a committee. "Wow, a committee," is all Maddow can muster. Intelligent. Thank you. Oh, Murdoch made similar promises before, the Times of London was respectable before he got a hold of it. Any chance of a reader backlash, hopes Keith? "The Journal's editorial page is just to the right of Atilla the Hun." HA! HA HA! The most original Olbyism of the night! And what you are you, Olbermahn? Just to the left of Karl Marx? Right wing politics = stretch the truth. DailyKos mention of a lawsuit filed against FNC who fired two employees claiming FNC told them to distort the news. Oh, this is getting to the really big story Maddow thinks. This is to make news worse! Konspiracy theory! The work of Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity is billed as news - NO IT'S NOT. IT'S OPINION. NEWS ANALYSIS. EARTH TO ERR AMERICA. Ugh. Countdown must be hard news. Rachael Maddow, the Ministry of Truth says Fat Ass.
#2: Golf course strippers. "Fore-play" tee hee. "Hole in one, you are hooking to the left and I've had trouble with my putts all day." hehe. Sex jokes! Regurgitated video from a LOCAL news channel.
#1: Creepy Michael Musto on the reasons people have sex. Enough said.
In the Media Matters minute, Rudy Guiliani claiming he cut taxes but not to the degree Olby's source tells him: Blue Blog Source GraniteGrok. DHS gets the silver for "bogus" dry run claims from Blue Blog source The Raw Story.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name is #14,087 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,439. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is noticeably unranked at at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,404 there. Sadly, Thursday's Hour of Spin was mired at fourth Place in the Man on Fan beloved, coveted all important "key demo." Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
On his radio program Monday night, John Gibson delivered his Bathtub Boy Report. The focus was on Olby's insinuations that Pat Tillman was killed on orders from "Mister" Bush (an implication also fostered by the use of the on-screen graphic "Mr Bush's Casualties"). We have the audio for your listening pleasure:
Host: Keith Olbermann
The discredited sports guy is back! He bellowed the opening spiel at maximum decibel levels: "the walls close in" on Gonzo, another uproarious "Fox Noise" reference, fraud in Iraq, yetta nother attack on Fox, the Simpsons movie... Geez, this is like deja vu all over again. It's Groundhog Day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "Gonzo-gate". Impeachment! Lies! Resign! Perjury! Olby cites a New York Times editorial (keep that in mind!). "Fox Noise" (a knee-slapper that never gets old)! Lefty Alter was the chosen sock-puppet: "Gonzo is gone-zo". He'll be forced to resign. On-screen graphic: "The Lies That Bind". Cue Moore. On-screen graphic" Bush's Babysitter". What, are they giving "water boy" a rest? Great thanks. Oh, and Ted Stevens (R) had his house raided by the FBI. All the raids and searches and siezures of William Jefferson (D) were ignored on OlbyPlanet. Try to guess why. Update on Chief Justice Roberts.
#4: Iraq: the Politics of War. The Wolffe Man simpered that the British government really wants Hillary Clinton to be President. Maliki and Petraeus feuding. The Brookings Institution op-ed in the Times gets shot down by Wolffie as if he knew better than the two guys who just came back from there. That pleased The Great and Powerful Olb, who gave him Great Thanks.
#3: Fox "Noise" again (can't you just imagine Olbermann's giddy cackling every time he saw that line in the script? Well, somebody must find it funny.) Fox shouldn't be called news, it should be called Fox Opinion (Blue Blog Source: DailyKos). Yes, Herr Olbermahn lecturing someone else about the difference between news and opinion. The self-deluded irony could not have been thicker. Graphic: "Faux News". With genius wordplay like this, how could anyone deny that Olby is in fact the next Edward R Murrow? Oh, and don't forget "Fix Noise" is just a propaganda arm for the GOP. You know, like this. And this. Graphic: "The Fix Is In." Great thanks.
#2: Tom Snyder (he and Olby were such good friends, and, oh, Snyder admired Olby's work), Bill Walsh, Bill Robinson, Ingmar Bergman. #1: The Simpsons movie.
It's the most predictable segment of The Hour of Spin: The Media Matters Minute. "Comedian" Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars), and Brit Hume "of Fix Noise" (comedy gold that never gets old! Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars) for having the effrontery to utter a criticism of Democrats. By the way, Mr Hume is an "amoral, corrupt, water-carrying hack". [Olbersaurus!] Obviously, it's time for Krazy Keith to look into this.
Dogs that did not bark: The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is notorious for cherry-picking what he reports. We have documented how he will select only the polls that support his spin, sometimes even only the portions of the polls that suit his propaganda purposes. He does the same thing with newspapers. If the New York Times runs an editorial or an op-ed that parrots Herr Olbermann's talking points, you can be sure it will be cited as Big News--or even a "tipping point"--on The Hour of Spin. Just as he will lift stories from them when they serve his agenda. Sometimes Oralmann will not only trumpet the importance of the Timesarticle, he will even interview the author to drive the point home further. But then, there are the New York Times op-eds that don't quite sit well with the exalted ruler of OlbyPlanet. Like this one, penned by two long-time critics of the Iraq war. And you will not be surprised to learn that it was not greeted with the same eager adoration as all of the above examples. In fact, Edward R Olbermahn didn't report on the substance of the piece at all. Other than a dismissive comment from The Wolffe Man, Olby handled this story by ignoring it, and simply making the author one of tonight's "worst persons"--problem solved! (Blue Blog Sources: Eschaton and Carpetbagger Report)
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name circles the drawn at #33,392 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,060. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,404 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday, Dan Olbermoronn continued his "lock on second place" as The O'Malkin Factor crushed him once again, and poor Olby finished a miserable third in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]
Host: Keith Olbermann
KO served up an anemic opening spiel: the AG is corrupt, the President is a liar, and Keith's favorite felon explains it all. Plus Tillman, Harry Potter, and the usual dregs of OlbyPlanet. Just right for casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "House of Scandal". Gonzales "lied", the White House is "trying to claim", and it's all "parsing". Obligatory clip of Tony Snow vs the tonsorially-enhanced David Gregory. Keith Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program held another meeting with its star pupil, John Dean. "They" don't want the truth out. The criminal contradicted himself within the space of 60 seconds (Gonzo can't avoid perjury, except that he can). Oralmann wanted to know if Tony Snow (Olby's self-proclaimed "friend") is about to become like Nixon's [Ding!] press secretary. Flashback to Watergate [Ding!] and Nixon [Ding!].
More on Pat Tillman. Maybe he was murdered. Unless he wasn't. Maybe Cheney did it. Possibly on orders from Halliburton and Bill O'Reilly. Lefty Soltz said it's all a lie and it was homicide. What's more, it's "the fault of our President". Olbermahn even cooked up the motive: Tillman was a John Kerry supporter. Yes! Yes! It was Cheney, Halliburton, and O'Reilly!! Another scoop for Edward R Olbermann. Onscreen graphic: "Mr Bush's Casualties".
#4: Question: how many astronauts does it take to fly the space shuttle? Answer: three and a fifth. Recycled video from NBC. #3: The seemingly endless Harry Potter interview continued, i.e. another rerun from the network. #2: The Simpsons movie (this too regurgitated from NBC--Dan Olbermann is really phoning it in tonight), plus Nicole Ritchie. #1: Lindsay Lohan and other hard news. Where's Michael Musto?
In the Media Matters Minute, sure enough, Bathtub Boy once again fed his all-consuming Olbsession. Before attacking Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: The Carpetbagger Report) and his "hatred of Mexicans" (i.e. he supports enforcing immigration laws), it was yet another salvo against the eeevil O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars). What, do these come nightly now? Apparently so. Since DailyKos has decided to make it a crusade, Herr Olbermann leaps to rally the jihadists. And of course, another smear of Mr Bill means Olbermahn lied again: "He then ordered Miss Hall's microphone cut off." There's really no argument about this one. O'Reilly said no such thing. Where did Oralmann get the idea that he did? He made it up! (Tip: that's why he didn't show the video!...click on 'media hero' to watch) In other words, Another Olbermann Lie.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox or "right-wing" pundits 12 times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC five times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -24 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a stunning #11,641 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #815. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,330 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing third yet again in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann behaved like a typical blow-hard and bellowed his way though the usual dubious opening spiel. The President's "brain" subpoenaed. Clip of Chuckie Schumer (D-NY) about telling the truth. More serious Olbsession Gonzo-Gate "lies." The Edelman letter gets a P.S. apology from Secretary Gates topped off by the "nexus of terror and politics." Read: Konspiracy Theory. The cat that knows when you'll die. More J.K. Rowling regurgitated video. You wonder why it took me so long.
#5: Keith is dizzied by the DNC talking points he spews out - oh wait the most 'scandal ridden day ever.' The Democrats aren't doing the "people's business" and specifically not protecting them from a "rogue" President and a "lawless" executive branch. Remember folks, this is Keith the unbiased journalist. Gono-Gate blab and lamenting that Paul Clement is responsible for investing the AG on perjury charges. The White House is an "expert" in "out of control" behavior. Another clip of Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) for about a minute or so. No ID of his party. Bring in ever reliable David Schuster. Surprisingly, Slippery hasn't started a countdown to when AG 'Gonzo' is going to step down or be fired. A "disasterous" 24 hours for Gonzales. Everyone contradicts him. This is seemingly a clear case of perjury, according to some. Olbermahn wonders why Republicans have not jumped to join Keith's Gonzo-Gate crusade. Mention of Sen. Arlen Specter naturally. Paul Clement reports to the White House which means if the President does not want a "perjury investigation of his close friend Alberto Gonzales" then there won't be one. Notice how Slippery makes it sound as if he won't do it to protect his buddy. Sadly Congress can't force Clement. They'll just have to impeach the President or the Attorney General. Olbersturmfuhrer caps off the session with a Watergate [Ding!] reference. And a mention of Robert Bork as solicitor general then. Ok?
"This would surely qualify as a watershed moment [Ding!] or even a Watergate [Ding!] moment." Olby is, naturally, talking about the subpeona of Karl Rove, the "brain." To help Olby out, he brings in his own brain, the Wolffe Man. Anti-Congress bluster from Tony Snow. The deep ethical hole the administration has dug itself. Remember, Olby is a "journalist." As is Wolffe Man who opines the administration could not get far enough away from the 2000 pledge to restore honor to the White House. Watergate [Ding!] figure Fred Fielding brought in to "stonewall." Valerie Plame mention. Is there any political leverage to clean up the President's act? asks Olby. Not really, except to impeach Gonzo says Wolffie. I woke up when Keith mentioned the low polls that Congress is getting. Wolffe Man says it breaks both ways vis a vis party. Back to sleep - great thanks.
#4: I think in an attempt to sully and insult a journalist and a legacy that Fat Ass cannot, will not, and should not match ever, he quotes his hero Edward R. Murrow saying, "We should not confuse dissent with disloyalty." Even more HILARIOUS is the fact that he mentions Senator Joseph McCarthy, a man who Mr. Murrow was not in agreement with but brought on to respond to Mr. Murrow unlike say a one.....Edward...R....Olbermann. No one disagrees on OlbyPlanet. If you do, you're banned! Eric Edelman's eeeeeeeeevil letter suggesting Senator Clinton shouldn't discuss withdrawl. Quotes of Sec. Gates's letter to Mrs. Clinton. Unbiased Democrat Gen. Clark comes in to discuss. Why does Mr. Edelman still have a job? wonders Olby. Good question, says Mr. Clark! He even furthers a favorite of mine, Konspiracy Theories. Clark believes it was a coordinated attack orchestrated by the White House through the Pentagon because of Mrs. Clinton's profile. Un-huh. Even if that were true, why would it come as a surprise that a letter from an UNDER SECRETARY who REPORTS TO THE DEFENSE SECRETARY who REPORTS TO THE PRESIDENT go through the White House? hum. Guess who is behind the whole thing, kiddies? THE EEEEEEEEEVIL KARL ROVE. NATURALLY. Clark believes that Sec. Gates should be consulting congress regarding policy. WHAT? Since when has Congress dictated foreign policy? They control the purse strings, nothing else. Sec. Gates carries out the wishes of the President. Want to end the war? Cut off the money. If you don't have the guts to do it, stop whining. Clark wonders why Gates didn't bring Sen. Clinton over for breakfast.....to discuss things. Who wanted this quarrel? The White House. Breaking News: Pat Tillman cover-up which is a legitimate story. But if you think this is going to be covered without mentioning the horrible people in the White House, you'd be drunk like me. Because Clark wonders how far up it went not to give any indication of what happened to Pat Tillman. You can be sure that idea didn't stop at the two or three star level says Clark. Tillman was a political used by the administration for its purposes when it suited them. Great thanks.
Oddball: A dog chase. Basketball hoop collapses on a guy.
#3: The nexus of politics and terror. Konspiracy theory of leaked TSA memo and its "timing." Another mention of Arlen Specter criticising AG Gonzales. Relevance? None. Will Bunch of the Philadelphia Daily News plays along with the Konspiracy Theory a little bit. He says the airport TSA agents did a good job - not a team player at that moment. He does wonder why it was leaked at the moment. It bumped all those Gonzo stories off the MSM. He does a weird eye roll after talking about dry runs for a while. He sucks up to Keith at the end by saying he "learned from the best" when Keith shows a clipping from a student newspaper they worked at together. Keith's why he went into journalism. Eek.
#2: The cat that knows when people are going to die. Regurgitated video.
Keeping tabs: Lindsay Lohan. Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband robbed. Keith does a bad German accent.
#1: More regurgitated video from the mothership of the J.K. Rowling interview.
In the Media Matters minute, some water supervisor. Runner up, Bill-O! Funny voice and difference between Daily Kos and O'Reilly's website. Of course, Olbermahn can't fathom the fact that one is a blog and the other a message board. Keith cites a post threatening Senator Clinton's life on his message board. Mr. O'Reilly suggested this post was planted - and he may have been right. The source for this story was naturally DailyKos because Oralmann loves to shill for them. Our very own J$ has once again debunked the KosKiddies as well as their water carrier here. Gold, funny named "Coutlergeist" because of some weird Konspiracy Theory that she somehow admitted Fox News shills for the Republican party. Do you shill for anyone, like Kos, Olby? Or the entire liberal establishment?
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's struggled at humiliating, painful and otherwise embarrassing #15,587 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #1,914. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,341 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a laughable and typical third place place finish in total viewers as well as that "money demo" Olbsession. Source. Worth mentioning that Mr. Bill's money demo was bigger than Countdown's entire viewship. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
Host: Keith Olbermann
The place: A-Mess-NBC headquarters. The time: early evening, July 25, 2007. In a small, dusty room, secluded in an odd corner of the building, the production staff of Countdown is about to begin their nightly pre-show meeting.
PRODUCER: He should be here any minute now.
INTERN: Is he always this late?
PRODUCER: It depends. Sometimes it's the bathtub. Sometimes he's late getting out of therapy. And then, there are the meets.
PRODUCER: Meetings. There are several seedy hotels in the area, you know.
INTERN: Do you want me to call him and tell him we're ready?
PRODUCER: I don't think so. Have you written a note and placed it in the box outside his office door?
INTERN: No. That's right. Sorry.
PRODUCER: Oh wait, I think I hear him coming.
OLBERMANN: Soooo, which of these stories will the world be talking about tomorrow? What do you have lined up for me tonight?
PRODUCER: Well, we've got the usual mix of politics and tabloid trivia. We're going to start out with--
OLBERMANN: Who are you? Are you new here?
INTERN: I'm the new intern.
OLBERMANN: What's your name?
OLBERMANN: That's a nice name.
PRODUCER: Um, sir, we're going to start out with the biggest news of the day: Gonzales and the subpoenas.
OLBERMANN: Good choice. It's on the lips of every American. Can I call him a liar?
PRODUCER: Yeah, that's expected by now.
OLBERMANN: Hmm, let's see. Comments from Rockefeller, Conyers, Harman... You don't have anything in here from Republican Congressmen or Senators.
PRODUCER: Oh, I'm sorry sir. I can--
OLBERMANN: No, this is excellent. Just the way I like it. We got Shuster tonight?
PRODUCER: Yes, sir. He'll play it up real big for you. He'll say "it's a clear case of perjury, not even close".
OLBERMANN: Oh yeah, Shuster talks a big game. I'm still waiting for that Karl Rove indictment he promised me. No biggie. The blogs will eat it up. They'll swallow anything. Say Mandy, do you--
PRODUCER: Um, Mr. Olbermann, sir, we've also got a Senator for you to interview.
OLBERMANN: Oh really? You aren't going to throw me some sort of curve, are you?
PRODUCER: Oh no sir. I wouldn't do that. We got Senator Leahy.
OLBERMANN: Oh that's fine. You know, our guest list is like none other in all of cable news.
PRODUCER: That's right, sir.
OLBERMANN: What grade are you in, Mandy?
INTERN: Just graduating college, sir.
PRODUCER: Do you want to see the Leahy questions I've written for you?
OLBERMANN: Oh all right. Let's look them over here...
OLBERMANN: Hmm, a little overboard, don't you think?
PRODUCER: How so?
OLBERMANN: Well, that last question.I don't want to put Leahy on the spot. Asking him for evidence? He's our guy after all.
PRODUCER: You really think that question is too tough?
OLBERMANN: Well, I can always soften it up a bit on air.
PRODUCER: Ad-lib? Are you sure you want to try that again, sir? How about you throw out that one horribly over-the-top question and I'll write you something innocuous, maybe taking a shot at Dick Cheney?
OLBERMANN: That's more like it. Say Mandy, what do you like to do for fun?
PRODUCER: Getting back to the show, we have a bang-up second segment, all about impeachment. I've got another gem of an interview too.
OLBERMANN: Not Turley again?
PRODUCER: No, I actually got a conservative for impeachment. He's--
OLBERMANN: Let me guess. Bruce Fein.
PRODUCER: How did you know?
OLBERMANN: C'mon. What other conservative legal scholar agrees with him? Can you name one?
PRODUCER: Well, no.
OLBERMANN: Excellent. I like the intro here. "Mister" Bush, Nixon references, White House in Crisis. Good stuff.
PRODUCER: Take a look at the questions for Fein. See if they're OK.
OLBERMANN: All right, let's see... Do you think this President should be impeached?... What is the soundest legal case for impeachment? Good stuff. And definitely not overboard.
PRODUCER: Thank you, sir.
OLBERMANN: By the way, that "Ho" business you pulled when I was off? Classic!
PRODUCER: But they made you apologize.
OLBERMANN: The apology worked out great. Got me all sorts of buzz. As long as they don't expect me to start apologizing for anything I say.
PRODUCER: Oh no, sir. I'm sure nobody expects that.
OLBERMANN: What school do you go to Mandy?
INTERN: Warren G Harding University.
OLBERMANN: Where exactly is that school?
PRODUCER: Mr Olbermann? Did you see all the jabs at Fox we got in there? There's one in the spiel, one in the top newsmakers--
OLBERMANN: How does the script read?
OLBERMANN: The part about Fox, what does it say?
PRODUCER: It says "Fox Noise"--
OLBERMANN: Bwahaahaaahaaa! Har, har, Haaaaaaaaa! Man, that's just hilarious stuff. Bwahaahaahaaaaa!! Fox Noise! Hahahaaaaaaa!
INTERN: I don't get it.
PRODUCER: We've got another story about mistreatment of injured vets, plus Britney and Lindsay.
OLBERMANN: No Tom Cruise? Why can't we talk about Tom Cruise?
PRODUCER: You just talked about him on Monday, sir.
OLBERMANN: So what?
INTERN: I like Tom Cruise.
OLBERMANN: What about worst person? What did you dig up there?
PRODUCER: It's pretty much like we do every night. I got a gem from Daily Kos and because we're balanced, I also took one from Media Matters.
OLBERMANN: Does it have O'Reilly? Do We Have An O'Reilly Attack Tonight? Answer me!
PRODUCER: Of course it does.
OLBERMANN: Lemme see it. Looks good and... Oh man! Bwaahaaaahaaaaa! That's too much. "Billo". Haahaaaaahaaaa! Oh, and--I can't keep a straight face--"Orally"! "Orally!!" Bwahaaaaahaaaa! Man, that's comedy gold.
PRODUCER: So you approve of tonight's script?
OLBERMANN: I guess so, but with only one O'Reilly attack it still sounds a little tepid. Why didn't you spice it up? You should've written up another Special Komment for me. Those always go over with a bang.
PRODUCER: Haven't you been going to that well a little too often, sir?
OLBERMANN: Are you kidding? The blogs love 'em! Maybe I can start alternating Special Komments with Special Apologies. What do you think, Mandy?
INTERN: I really wouldn't know, sir.
OLBERMANN: Have you ever tasted Merlot?
PRODUCER: Um, it's just about air time sir. Don't you think you should get to the studio?
OLBERMANN: Yeah, all right. Don't go away, Mandy. You know I keep tapes of every broadcast I do. I have them all entered into a chronological list, and later tonight I'd really like to show you my Countdown log.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plumetted to #31,025 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,714. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,314 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Tuesday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing a weak third in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Host: Keith Olbermann
Olby was back with the opening spiel again, but we were so taken with his pronouncement that he is truly a "journalist" who only occasionally injects comment or opinion into his broadcast that we decided to put that claim to the test. So tonight we break from our usual format. We'll simply note Edward R Olbermann's words, since they will doubtlessly prove what an unbiased and straightforward "journalist" he really is.
Well, that seems pretty clear. Keith is obviously a straight, no-nonsense journalist. Oh he'll do a commentary "periodically", but clearly his reporting night after night is wholly untainted with even a scent of favoritism or partisanship.
Note: Olby squeezed in an apology for the Wendy Vitter Is a Ho program. Of course he emphasized that it happened "on a night I was off". And the perpetrators were fired? Discliplined? Suspended? Apparently none of the above.
#3: Junk in space. #2: NBA Scandal [regurgitated NBC video], plus Harry Potter, Britney Spears, Drew Carey. #1: Cruise News! Whoooopeeee!! Where is Michael Musto?
In the media matters minute, Oralmann attacked Fran Townsend (R; Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars), Bill O'Reilly (Fox; Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), and Sean Hannity of "Fox Noise" (hilarious still!; Virtually Verbatim Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Yep, more of that unbiased, nonpartisan, straightforward reportage from the discredited sports guy.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plumetted to #33,102 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,439. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,482 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann finally eked out a second place finish, while still losing overwhelmingly to The O'Malkin Factor both in total viewers and in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
Olbermannwatch needs to create a new category for Olbermann media quotes, one entitled, "He's off his meds again". Howard Kurtz has a quote this morning from the "unbiased" Keith Olbermann who apparently has lost all connection with reality when asked about his ability to be fair and unbiased while hosting the upcoming AFL-CIO Democratic debate, he goes off on one of his tangents where he totally fails to address the question posed to him by Kurtz and instead spews the following:
I realize the far right understands that the pitchmen it turns to in lieu of newscasters could not be trusted to leave their commentary at home, and treat an actual news event as such, but fortunately I'm a journalist who does periodic commentary, and not a snake oil salesman pretending to be an analyst or newsman.
Pitchmen? Hmm. You mean like the many times you held up your book on TV and begged people to buy it (to no avail)? And Olby now thinks he's a journalist? Man you just can't write comedy gold like this!
Don't journalists actually go out into the field and cover news? Has anyone seen Olbermann cover a story from the field like say a hurricane, earthquake, Tsunami, any natural disaster? What's Olbermann's idea of covering a "news" event? Why it's showing up at the publisher of the Harry Potter books last Friday night, dressed in costume! Yeah, I'm sure that if Edward R. Murrow were alive today he'd be right alongside Olby, first in line, wearing a little Harry Potter costume too!
COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
Guest Host: Alison Stewart
Krazy Keith is a man on the go,
To Iraq? Well, not quite, that's a "no".
Harry Potter's his beat,
Ally sits in his seat.
So tonight, who will she call a "ho"?
If you think we're going to sit through an hour just waiting for the discredited sports guy to do yet another promo piece for the Harry Potter book...well think again. Just because Oralmann has to stand in line to bring a copy home to little Katy, that's no reason for A-Mess-NBC to subject regular Americans to the spectacle.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Bathtub Boy's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox and "right-wing" pundits six times. (Give him a break, he only worked a three-day week.) His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC nine times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -18 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a fantastic #13,469 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,002. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains buried below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,274 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly.
Hmmm. While MediaBistro outlet TVNewser can't stop showing the love for Olbermann, their corporate cousin, FishBowl NY isn't on the MSM KO Bandwagon. It seems that they have detected, how shall we say, a certain pattern with Mr. Olbermann and Countdown in regards to women.
There's some furor building over a graphic [above] shown on Tuesday's Countdown With Keith Olbermann â€” guest-hosted by Alison Stewart â€” which referred to embattled Louisiana Senator David Vitter's wife as a "ho" for her choice of leopard-print at her husband's press conference acknowledging his involvement in the DC Madam scandal.
They even link to a Daily Kos diary in which a writer calls Countdown's latest stunt a lowpoint in that show's history.
While there are the usual KO apologists and the "So what it's a Republican woman" posters, there are a few who were also unhappy with the characterization of Mrs. Vitter as a "ho":
Her husband chose this. I can not stomach what is being said about her.
I think it was extremely wrong to call attention to her-in light that she was the one cheated on with a hooker, by an unapologetic cheating husband standing right beside her.That was just catty of Countdown to do to Wendy Vitter.
But enough of the DailyKos crowd, back to FishBowl NY:
Considering its "Nappy 'Hos" history, MSNBC should've learned a lesson or two about off-handed, misogynistic remarks. Still, no one should be surprised â€” Olbermann and Countdown have done this kind of thing before. One example, as we reported way back in October, involved a pre-penitentiary Paris Hilton. At that time, it wasn't the "A Slut and Battery" that drew our attention â€” it was what he said:Paris Hilton claims she was punched in the face yesterday morning at a nightclub in Hollywood [pause] 'Course she's had worse things happen to her face ...And yes, that is what he meant.
Wow, someone detecting a pattern about Olbermann's double-standard towards women? Imagine that.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Geeze, the ratings must be worse than we all think. SK after SK. Is it three now in two weeks? Is Olbersturmfuhrer really that angry or just that desperate?
Oy vey, it gets even worse, the latest from J$
Gibson on the radio just said Jet Blue is withdrawing sponsorship of the Kos konvention, pursuant to eeevil O'Reilly's criticisms. Confirmation
Keith bellows the opening spiel about the "anticipated lost cause blame shift for Iraq." An eeeeevil Undersecretary of Defense brings up Vietnam suggesting discussing withdrawl emboldens our enemies. Olbersturmfuhrer says Nazi Germany [Ding!] and the backstabbers at home who killed our troops. Speshul Komment reinforced by John Kerry. Plame case dismissed (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) followed by a repeat of Hauptmann's pathetic attempt to smear "Bill-O" for asking questions of Miss New Jersey that have pieced together to make him look like a pervert. The hypocrisy (which it really isn't because O'Reilly isn't trying to sleep with the 22 year old) is almost too laughable to write. OLBY talking about ANYONE vis a vis a younger woman should make him take a long....long......LONG look in the mirror and then back at his bedroom where a one Ms. Katy Tur might be who's under 25 with nearing 50 Keithy Boy. Seriously Keith. Pathetic. Oh yeah, the usual loofah/falafel mention. And a reporter from the esteemed Baltimore Sun (my local newspaper that I long ago canceled my subscription to because it's so terrible) who broke the ban on Harry Potter! Thank god for that! Funny caption of "Potter Pooper." So we have glory holes, ho captions and now scatological references? What's next, Laughing Stagehand and lackeys?
#5: Keith is so angry he goes RIGHT TO THE SPESHUL ED KOMMENT laden with Nazi analogies that Der Fuhrer is well known for. The day's "ominous" and almost indescribable events. Read the transcript below. Enter defeated Presidential candidate John Kerry to buttress Keith's lunacy. Is Senator Clinton being targeted deliberately by the administration? Of course! They like to "attack, smear and change the subject." Olby pause as he feels the vindication. Could these remarks be any more divorced from the kinds of freedoms our country represents, Olby asks? Naturally, responds the Senator. Another hardball, "How does one fight claims as outrageous as the ones made against Senator Clinton...without stooping to their level? ...With fresh memories of your 2004 campaign..." *cough*suck up*cough*. It's the beginning of a scapegoat campaign that we've seen before. Really? Even if it has been done before it's the beginning? The Senator repeats exactly Olby calls for for those who support the war to go fight it themselves. The Senator finds it down right unsatisfactory with the "answers" he is getting. UNSATISFACTORY. Damning. Was the Q&A a one-way affair? (hardball) Again, he was not satisfied with the answers. The whole thing is finished with an "Amen" from Preacher Keith. Great thanks.
#4: The real motives at work from the dark missive of Mr. Eric Edelman who is an eeeeeeeeeeevil "Neo-Con" who is a subordinate of the eeeeeeeeeeeeevil Vice President Cheney. Welcome the Wolffe Man who starts with a crazy Konspiracy Theory. He thinks it's important to focus on who Mr. Edelman is. Well, kiddies, he has been a no good "neo-con" for a long time. Guess who he worked for when the Vice President was Secretary of Defense, a one Mr. Paul Wolfowitz. Who is he? Another horrible "neo-con." This is all very important because.....well.....it's not. Other than the Wolffe Man suggesting, without proof, that when he worked with Mr. Wolfowitz to develop a preemptive war strategy. Wolffe Man thinks it's strange that the letter to Mrs. Clinton included references to Somalia, Lebanon, Vietnam because it offers a window into what matters which is the strength and the will of American leaders. What a TERRIBLE thing. Strength of leadership. You don't want that in a LEADER. Furthermore, why is it so horrible to mention those things? Somalia only degenerated into a haven for jihadists after Fmr. President B.J. Clinton pulled U.S. troops out (not mentioned). The withdrawl from Vietnam arguably led to the slaughter in Cambodia (by pulling the plug on funding by a Democratic congress - not mentioned). Finally, Lebanon where a civil war ensued and the creation of a Syrian satellite along with happy places for terrorists (the withdrawl done by Fmr. President Reagan. Apparently, they are three totally different scenarios to Wolffie. Another Konspiracy Theory that the administration is just waiting to leave office to blame their successors for the supposed inevitable failure. No proof. Great thanks.
Oddball: Pete Rose goes to jail 17 years ago. A dog that "craps money" (classy Edward R. Olbermann). The dog made "change." Chalk homer.
#3: Olby laments the dismissal of Valerie Plame's lawsuits dismissal. Welcome Slippery Shuster to help Keith out on all of the intrigue on Capitol Hill. Fat Ass hopes desperately for Josh Bolton to get charged with contempt. The case will go to the US Attorney for D.C. who is an appointee of the eeeeeeeevil Alberto Gonzales. Some Dems are worrying they might appear to be just chasing scandals and getting nothing thus sending their poll numbers down. Apparently this has to do with the US Attorney firings. Didn't this story have to do with the dismissal of Valerie Plame's case? Oh nevermind. Olby has nothing to say on that because there's no way to spin it to make it look like a Konspiracy orchestrated by Karl Rove. Oh wait, nevermind, he brought it up again. Jabba suggests that the judge was saying that leaking a "covert" (she wasn't) agent's name is "part of the job." Well, Fat Ass, it looks like your lackeys were not doing their jobs tonight - or just didn't want to. In fact, the Judge said this
For the reasons given above, plaintiffs have failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted with respect to their four causes of action asserted directly under the Constitution. Furthermore, this Court lacks subject-matter jurisdiction over plaintiffsâ€™ claim for public disclosure of private facts.
Furthermore, the judge said:
[D]efendants chose to rebut Mr. Wilsonâ€™s comments and attack his credibility may have been highly unsavory. But there can be no serious dispute that the act of rebutting public criticism, such as that levied by Mr. Wilson against the Bush Administrationâ€™s handling of prewar foreign intelligence, by speaking with members of the press is within the scope of defendantsâ€™ duties as high-level Executive Branch officials.
Thanks to Hot Air for picking that up.
Shuster naturally spins this the way his Fuhrer wants him to by saying this was dismissed purely on "consitutional" grounds. Obviously, the above quote demonstrates how the judge went on to take Ms. Plame's argument and toss it out the window in conjunction with its lack of constituinal standing. The ruling was really "far more critical of [a] law passed by congress." More hoping on Keithy's part for an appeal to succeed. Great thanks.
#2: Back to your regularly scheduled Olbsession - Bill O'Reilly. "Fox Noise." Oralmann calls "retired" comedian Dennis Miller O'Reilly's sidekick. A guy who is funnier in one sentence the Adam's Apple is in his entire career. Keith comes to the rescue of his DailyKos minions who need all the help they can get. Any website that can only get one sponsor of its CONVENTION (not the website, there's a difference apparently) probably has a slight PR problem. Don't worry guys, he's got you covered for all of his 10 viewers for this 10 vouchers. After using all sorts of Nazi analogies, Olbermahn doesn't like O'Reilly comparing the Kossacks to Nazis. Also, it's somehow hypocritcal to say you are for free speech but there is a line. You know that line Keith? It's called responsibility. Or to you, "accuracy and decency." Nah, you don't know it. Accuracy (lacking every night) and decency (a Senator's wife a ho?). You DEFINITELY don't know the aforementioend. O'Reilly's "salacious" interview with Ms. Polumbo that he stole from E! network. Of course, this whole thing is about pictures that were supposedly "salacious." Oh wow, great clip. So funny. AKA filler.
Keeping tabs: Emmy nominations. Paul McCartney divorce. Barry Bonds slump.
#1: Someone does a review of the new Harry Potter book.
In the Media Matters minute, Emmy Awards for nominating ABC's 9/11 drama which it got technical nominations for. So horrible. Sean Hannity for suggesting that there are investigations still worth investigating. Naturally, a Media Matters item. Winner, Tom Delay for suggesting that we would not have a need for illegal immigrants for illegal employment if there had not been 40 million abortions, Blue Blog source: Raw Story. Oralmann either has a "slip" or smears Mr. Delay by quoting him as saying "LEGAL" immigrants when, even on the Raw Story story, it specifically says ILLEGAL. Lie, smear, distort. Rinse and repeat. Thanks Olby.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's remained at a humiliating, painful and otherwise embarrassing #8,704 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #801. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome managed to - wait - it didn't. It's still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,274 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a typical third place place finish in total that "money demo" Olbsession. Source. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: INCALCUABLE [BROKEN!!!]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
Good evening from Los Angeles. And we begin with a special comment on this dayâ€˜s ominous, almost indescribable events.
It is one of the great, dark, evil lessons of history, a country, a government, a military machine can screw up a war seven ways to Sunday. It can get thousands of its people killed. It can risk the safety of its own citizens. It can destroy the fabric of its nation. But as long as it can identify a scapegoat, it can regain or even gain power.
The Bush administration has tonight opened this Pandoraâ€˜s box about Iraq. It has found its scapegoats: Hillary Clinton and us. The lies and terror tactics with which it deluded this country into war, they had nothing to do with the abomination that Iraq has become. It isnâ€˜t Mr. Bushâ€˜s fault.
The selection of the wrong war in the wrong time in the wrong place, the most disastrous geopolitical tactic since Austria-Hungary attacked Serbia in 1914 and destroyed itself in the process, that had nothing to do with the overwhelming crisis Iraq has become. It isnâ€˜t Mr. Bushâ€˜s fault.
The criminal lack of planning for the war, the total jump off a bridge and hope you can fly tone to the failure to anticipate what would follow the deposing of Saddam Hussein, that had nothing to do with the chaos in which Iraq has been enveloped. It isnâ€˜t Mr. Bushâ€˜s fault.
The utter blinkered idiocy of staying the course, of sending Americans to Iraq and sending them a second time and a third and a fourth until they get killed or maimed, the utter de-prioritization of human life simply so a politician can avoid having to admit he made a mistake, that had nothing to do with the tens of thousands of individual tragedies darkening of lives of American families forever. It isnâ€˜t Mr. Bushâ€˜s fault.
The continuing, relentless, remorseless, corrupt and cynical insistence that this conflict is somehow defeating or containing or merely engaging the people who attacked us on 9/11, the total â€œAlice Through the Looking Glassâ€ quality that ignores that in Iraq we have made the world safer for al Qaeda. It isnâ€˜t Mr. Bushâ€˜s fault.
The fault brought down, as if a sermon from this mount of hypocrisy and slaughter by a nearly anonymous undersecretary of defense, the fault has tonight been laid on the doorstep of Senator Clinton and by extension on the doorstep of every American, the now vast majority of us who have ever dared to criticize this war or protest it or merely ask questions about it or simply plaintively, innocently, honestly plead, donâ€˜t take my son, donâ€˜t take my daughter.
Senator Clinton has been sent, and someone has leaked to the Associated Press a letter sent in reply to her own asking if there exists an actual plan for evacuating the U.S. troops from Iraq. This extraordinary document was written by an undersecretary of defense named Eric Edelman.
â€œPremature and public discussion of the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq,â€ Edelman writes, â€œreinforces enemy propaganda that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia.â€
Edelman adds: â€œSuch talk understandably unnerves the very same Iraqi allies we are asking to assume enormous personal risks.â€
A spokesman for the senator says Mr. Edelmanâ€˜s remarks are â€œat once both outrageous and dangerous,â€ and those terms are entirely appropriate and may, in fact, understate the risk the Edelman letter poses to our way of life and all that our fighting men and women are risking, have risked and have lost in Iraq.
After the South was defeated in our Civil War, a scapegoat was Confederate President Jefferson Davis and the ideas of the lost cause and Jim Crow were born in that wake.
After the French were beaten by the Prussians in 1870 and 1871, it was the imaginary Jewish influence in the French army general staff, and there was born 30 years of self destructive anti-Semitism culminating in the horrific Dreyfus case.
After the Germans lost the First World War, it was the backstabbers and profiteers at home on whose broken bodies the National Socialists rose to prominence in the succeeding decades, and whose accused membership eventually wound up in torture chambers and death camps.
And after the generation just before ours, and leaders of both political parties escalated and re-escalated and carpet-bombed and re-carpet-bombed Vietnam, it was the protest movement and Jane Fonda, and as late as just three years ago, Senator John Kerry, who were assigned the blame, the kind of blame which no rational human being could concur and yet which still across vast sections of our political landscape resonates unchallenged and accepted.
And now, Mr. Bush, you have picked out your own Jefferson Davis, your own Dreyfus, your own profiteer, your own scapegoat, not for the sake of this country, not for the sake of Iraq, not even for the sake of your own political party, but for the sake of your own personal place in history.
But in reaching for that place, you have guaranteed yourself tonight not honor but infamy. In fact, you have condemned yourself to a place among that remarkably small group of Americans whom Americans cannot forgive, those who have sold this country out and who have willingly declared their enmity to the people at whose pleasure they supposedly serve.
A scapegoat, sir, might be forgivable if you had not just happened to choose a prospective presidential nominee from the opposition party. And the accusation of spreading enemy propaganda, that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia, might be someday atoned for, sir, if we all didnâ€˜t know, you included, and your generals and the Iraqis that we are leaving Iraq, and sooner rather than later. And we are doing it even if to do so requires first that you must be impeached and removed as president of the United States sooner rather than later.
You have set this government at war against its own people and then blamed those very people when they have said enough. And thus it crystallizes, Mr. Bush, when the Civil War General Ambrose Burnside ordered a disastrous attack on Fredericksburg in which 12,000 of his men were killed, he had to be physically restrained from personally leading the next charge himself.
After the first lord of the British admiralty, Winston Churchill, authored and enabled the disastrous Gallipoli campaign that saw a quarter million allied soldiers cut down in the First World War, Churchill resigned his office and took a commission as a front line officer in the trenches of France.
Those should be your new role models, Mr. Bush. Let your minions try to spread the blame to the real patriots here who have sought only to undo the horrors you have wrought since 2002.
Let them try that until the end of time, though the words might be erased from a million books and a billion memories, though the world be covered knee-deep in your lies, the truth shall prevail: This, sir, is your war.
Senator Clinton has reinforced enemy propaganda? Made it impossible for therapy you to get your ego-driven, blood-steeped win in Iraq? Then take it into your own hands, Mr. Bush. Go to Baghdad now and fulfill, finally, your military service obligations. Go there and fight your war, yourself.
Host: Keith Olbermann
Once again Keithy Boy bellowed the opening spiel: Republicans "schemed to let the killing continue; Republicans not supporting the troops, supporting only the President". Terror risks are up, Al Qaeda won't take over Iraq, and another attack on Bill Orally. Yawn. Luckily we have a fine, fine Dogs That Did Not Bark segment to make up for the repetitive talking points fiesta that is The Hour of Spin.
#5: Republicans are hypocrites. Clip of the dynamic Harry Reid (D) decrying filibusters. Clip of Richard McCain (R). Nonpartisan Olby said this was legislation that "supports the troops" and the eeevil Republicans blocked it! Lefty Alter was...well...lefty.
Usually Keith applies OlbySpin to the news. But sometimes the news applies itself to OlbySpin. Follow: for months KO has been ridiculing the "so-called war on terror". Threats are overblown; attacks are by "morons"; it's all done to create "fear", etc. Just Friday Krazy Keith was telling his viewers that "Al Qaeda's ability to attack in the U.S. is lower than ever". But then those pesky Democrats had to go and take a different tack: the terror threat is greater now, and the threat from Al Qaeda has increased. Well, when the DNC speaks, Keith listens. The OlbyPlanet wisdom from just last Friday is tossed out without batting an eyebrow, and now Bathtub Boy is fully in harmony with the Dem talking points, personified by Crowley. There he was tonight, demanding that the administration "do something" about the alarming threat of terror attacks. Fear and more fear, coin of the realm on OlbyPlanet.
#4: Bush's prediction about what would happen to Iraq if we withdraw has been proven wrong. Um, how can that be? You see, they held some war games and Iraq ended up just fine. Oh, OK. Olby and Ricks agreed that getting out of Iraq would be just the thing to hurt Iran. KO talked about pushing Gen Petraeus under the bus [Ding!]. It wouldn't be complete without one of those. Great thanks.
#3: None of the Above leads GOP candidates. Where is the "much-vaunted Christian right?" Olby misuses the phrase "begs the question". Cillizza wasn't too bad, by Hour of Spin standards. Steam pipe breaks in NYC.
#2: Believe it or not, Oralmann reached back to last week to smear O'Reilly, this time over an interview with Miss New Jersey before the photos were published and Mr Bill was trying to determine if they were salacious or not. Nice little blipverts cut and pasted from the interview conveyed just what "Man on Fan" Olbermann wanted to convey. (You can see the interview for yourself and decide if, a week later, it merited such intense scrutiny on OlbyPlanet.) The real reason "Man on Fan" dug this up is because "fathead" O'Reilly reported yesterday on a lawsuit being filed against NBC's "Predator" series for the suicide of one of the guys caught on the show. And Herr Olbermann isn't going to let that stand! So he launched the personal attacks (including loofah and falafel references) once again. This from a man who buys cheap wine by the gross because you never know when you'll be going to an assignation in a hotel room. #1: Harry Potter.
In the media matters minute, Olbermoronn lied again about ratings, claiming that "only Fox Noise" uses the "old" ratings. In fact, it's MSDNC that uses the "live Plus" ratings that inflate Olbermahn's pitiful viewership. They are not standard elsewhere. But who expects truth from the discredited sports guy? UPDATE! Guess what? Herr Olbermann got it wrong again. The flyers he was complaining about were not circulated by Fox at all, contrary to his claims. Don't hold your breath waiting for a retraction or correction. The one thing Fat Ass never does is retract a smear against Fox.
Francis Townsend (R) was runner up, while O'Reilly again attacked as "worst person". Why? Because he compared comments on the DailyKos to Nazi hate. (Hmm, wasn't it just the other day Rep Ellison was comparing Bush to Hitler? That didn't make it into the Media Matters Minute, however.) To protect his blue blog buddies, Olbermann ranted about Bill's "stupidity" without mentioning even one of the things posted on Daily Kos that Bill was talking about. You know, like wishing people dead? You know, the sort of stuff Rev Olbermahn has sermonized about when someone on the right does it? KO is a good left-wing water carrier, protecting his Kossack corps to the very end.
Quiescent canines: There's always something. For the last several days, Edward R Olbermahn has been on a crusade to ridicule the importance of Al Qaeda in Iraq. He must. It's one of the Kos Talking Points. Ridiculing any notion that the group has connections with Bin Laden or Al Qaeda in general, Olby dismissed AQiI, describing its creation: "because a terrorist in Iraq was savvy enough to name his group al Qaeda in Iraq". And just Monday, he and his in-house "expert" Roger Cressey went back and forth about how AQiI is "very indigenous", how it's "false and misleading" to link them to Usama Bin Laden, and how they don't present a threat to the USA. But today the news broke that a top leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq has been apprehended, and guess what? He served as an intermediary between AQiI and UBL. And he revealed that UBL and the other leaders of Al Qaeda "classic" "continue to provide directions, they continue to provide a focus for operations, they continue to flow foreign fighters into Iraq". What's more, they invented a nonexistent leader, "Al Baghdadi", and hired an actor to play the part--to make it look like AQiI was "very indigenous" when in fact it was a heavily foreign operation. Hmmm. This doesn't exactly comport with what Keith has been saying. What to do, what to do? The answer is simple: KO reports that someone was arrested, goes on to "question the timing" [Ding!], and the drops it, saying nothing at all about what was learned from the guy! That always works on OlbyPlanet.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name plumetted to #14,495 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,421. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,286 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Monday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing third in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Last night's "Wendy Viller Is a Ho" edition did even worse. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
A new Countdown controversy has erupted. Everyone remembers how the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann jumped to throw Don Imus under the bus [Ding!] when his reference to "hos" created a storm of controversy. Of course, Edward R Olbermann had until then never said one word critical of Imus, but was among the first to jump on the bandwagon.
Recall the fawning, self-serving interview he did with Steve Capus? Imus's comment was a "tipping point", the show had become something he just "could not abide". And Capus fell right into line as well: "This could have been my daughter, how can I ignore that? Those are the voices that have been ringing in my ears more loudly than anything else." Naturally, Herr Olbermann immediately brought up Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Neal Boortz--his regular stable of fright wigs: "Where is the protest...why are there not efforts to remove them from the air for these things?"
The self-serving outrage continued for days on The Hour of Spin. For sure we would never see Countdown or its staff countenance such despicable language. That is, until last night. The news is spreading through the Olbersphere: Inside Cable News is on the story, and even the Kos Kidz are up in arms.
Alison Stewart was hosting for Keith, but Olbermann's hand-picked staff was still in charge of the show. The chosen victim? Not a basketball team this time, but the wife of a Senator who had cheated on her. No doubt The Laughing Stagehand was cackling uproariously as Stewart's guest ridiculed Wendy Vitter as "looking like a prostitute". Alison snarked about her "form fitting, skin tight dress" (which it wasn't). Yes, an entire segment about her dress!
And if that isn't enough, look what the Countdown staff, whose boss is so outraged over the jokes of Don Imus, plastered on the screen beneath the shot of Wendy Vitter:
Hey, Mr Capus, that could be your daughter. How can you ignore that? And Keith Oralmann, is this a "tipping point"? What are you doing to do about it? An interview with Steve Capus? Maybe bring Jesse Jackson on board? Will the staffers who perpretrated this outrage be named, disciplined, or fired? Or will you give them a raise?
Somehow, we see the latter as more likely.
Thanks to Ian Schwartz for the screengrab.
No Olby tonight, but news that he would be moderating a Presidential debate has been greeted with skepticism.
Others simply treated the notion with ridicule. John Gibson took aim at the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann (aka "Bathtub Boy"), and we have an audio clip for your listening pleasure:
Host: Keith Olbermann
He's back, tanned (of course), rested and ready. The carrot-complexioned commentator bellowed the opening spiel: Maliki and Iraq, does Tony Snow believe in pixies?, Al Qaeda in Iraq isn't real Al Qaeda, Executive Privilege [Ding!], The Simpsons, and more. But as always, it's not what Bathtub Boy says that counts as much as what he doesn't say, and the Dogs That Did Not Bark tonight were significant and plentiful. So let's get The Hour of Spin out of the way with all deliberate speed.
#5: The round-up of bad Iraq news. A new poll: "Mister" Bush's "BS-ing" isn't fooling the people re the "escalation" [Ding!]. As you will see below, Herr Olbermann's poll reportage is the very definition of "cherry-picking". Jim Webb's (D) fumbling performance on Meet the Press described by Keithy as "speaking for the American people". Dana Milbank, absent arresting accutrements, was bombarded with phrases like "boy who cried wolf", the "desperate effort to delay", the "smokescreens and distractions". KO was talking about waiting until September before changing Iraq policy. Keep that in mind for later. Oh, and Gen Petraeus is being set up as "the fall guy". Great thanks.
Next: Al Qaeda in Iraq isn't really that other Al Qaeda, the 9/11 Al Qaeda. They're no real threat to us. Nothing to see here. Cressey rehashed this golden oldie and for his efforts was given Great Thanks.
#4: Olby and the Perfessor. The White House used Pat Tillman's death for "propaganda". Harriet Myers may be in contempt, unless she's not. Genius Olbermann asked if the House Republicans might "filibuster". Hahahaaaaaa! Filibusters in the House of Representatives. That ranks right up there with Olbermoronn not knowing who's in the cabinet! Great thanks.
#3: The 2008 election, with Olbermann's Brain. Dems raising a lot of money, Obama the most. Richard McCain campaign on the ropes. That creative wordsmith Keith Boy asked "did the wheels come off the vehicle?" Brain chortled and snickered. KO called Robert Novak a "bitter old man". Brain chuckled and sniggered.
#2: The new Harry Potter movie (regurgitated video from NBC), plus Lindsay Lohan, The Price is Right, Drew Carey (Olby said he'll be hosting Power of 10 on NBC--oops, another Olberflub, it's on CBS...Hahahaaaa!),. #1: The Simpsons. In the Media Matters Minute, Sirius radio was attacked (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos), and Robert Novak (conservative) was "worst person" for having good sources in the White House (Blue Blog Source: HuffPo). Olbermahn lectured him about "ethics". That was almost as good as filibusters in the House.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: On OlbyPlanet, they have the quietest pooches in the known 'verse. Note how they never even utter a whimper as the stock market hits another all-time record high. Those North Korean poodles were also mighty silent tonight. Olby slammed "Mister" Bush's "failed" policy re Korea, saying he alienated and antagonized that nation. But if it's a "failed" policy, then what about today when it was confirmed that the NoKos have in fact shut down their nuclear program? Hmm, that's not going to go over well on OlbyPlanet. And sure enough, the discredited sports guy said not one word about it. And he loves to slam "right-wing water carriers" if they dare compare anything or anyone to Hitler, Nazis, or the Third Reich. On The Hour of Spin he has slammed Glenn Beck, and Tom DeLay, and Melanie Morgan for making some sort of Hitler/Nazi comparisons. And yet, is anyone surprised for even one nanosecond that Fat Ass refuses to utter a peep about this?
Another breed of quiescent canine is the opinion poll. When Edward R Olbermann cites a survey, it's for one reason: it agrees with OlbySpin. Should a poll be impertinent enough to take a different point of view from Herr Olbermann's, then it is silenced. Because if Krazy Keith doesn't report it, that means it didn't happen! Case in point: the war in Iraq. Oralmann repeatedly draws on polling results that back up his spin. So when "Mister" Bush says he is not in favor of troop withdrawals, Rev Olbermann whips out a poll and sermonizes that the President is doing "the opposite" of "what Americans truly want". As he did here, and again. Polls, and more polls, and they're all citations that agree with Olbermann and disagree with some aspect of the Iraq war. The latest was just last week: citing more anti-Iraq sentiment in polls, Olbermoronn declares: "The President is not listening to any of us".
But don't get the idea that Bathtub Boy means what he says. He doesn't care about polling on, say, partial-birth abortion or immigration. Only Iraq. And for that matter, only Iraq polls that back him up. If a poll comes out that says something he doesn't like, he'll just spike it. To wit: the fact that a majority of Americans want Congress to wait until September before making any changes in Iraq policy. You'll note there was not one word about that survey on tonight's Hour of Spin. But why should there have been? When he was flinging poll numbers around just last week as cited above, Dan Olbermann pulled the same trick. He cherry-picked the responses he liked from the Gallup poll in question, while not reporting that there too a clear majority said: make no changes until the September report from Gen Petreaus. (Another finding in that same Gallup poll was an overwhelming opposition to impeachment. Funny, that didn't make it onto The Hour of Spin either.) This is how news is twisted on OlbyPlanet: the slovenly political hack just leaves out what he doesn't like. It's all the news that fits the tint!
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name sunk to #7,702 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #591. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,263 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing a humiliating fourth, crushed not only by The O'Kasich Factor but even by a Larry King rerun, in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
In the wake of Dan Patrick's departure from ESPN Radio, Keith Olbermann's PR agents have been hard at work floating this preposterous notion:
Keith Olbermann, whose return to radio with Patrick help boost both of their profiles the last few years and recreate the chemistry from their "Big Show" days on "SportsCenter," said Thursday's announcement was the first he had heard of The Content Factory.
"I told Dan directly that I've been exactly where he is, and I'll support him any way I can, and that he needs to do whatever works best for him," Olbermann said Thursday. Olbermann added that ESPN has "been terrific and I'm very torn" about whether to continue on the network radio show - either hosting it by himself, as the network has offered, or do a shorter version. He could also join Patrick somewhere down the road at another syndicated show. "I don't think with my other jobs I could give it as much as the company and listeners deserve," said the MSNBC "Countdown" anchor said of taking Patrick's ESPN Radio spot. "Plus, my motivation has been working with DP. In short, we'll see."
Yeah, sure Keith, you do realize of course that you'd actually have to talk about a sport other than baseball if you took over Dan Patrick's radio show right? Olbermann's dead silences when anything other than baseball were being discussed reveal Olbermann knows as much about other sports as he does about news, which is to say, little or nothing.
But wait--there's more:
From today's New York Daily News:
Match made in hell: When NBC Sports added Keith Olbermann to its Sunday "Football Night In America" pregame show, questions were raised about the Peacock bringing in another anchor to team with Bob (Rapping Roberto) Costas. There was speculation a studio configuration would be devised where Costas and Olbermann would work at separate desks. According to an NFL spy that won't be the case. "They will be together and will be encouraged to, well, debate," the spy said. This could be interesting. Olbermann is a loose cannon. Costas ain't. Kind of like mixing Vodka with Yoo-hoo.
Oh yeah, that's why viewers tune in to NFL football-to watch Olbermann and Costas "debate". It ain't a political forum folks, it's supposed to be a sports show.
Host: Keith Olbermann
Another deranged ranting of the opening spiel: a fresh attack on Richard McCain, Hillary and Edwards and an open mic, conspiracy about leaks, an attack on Fox "Noise" (that's still a knee-slapper, ain't it?), Paris Hilton... Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. None of this can compare with the special Dogs That Did Not Bark segment we have for you. Olbermann exposed once again as a slovenly political hack who hates our troops. But first we'll have to dispose of tonight's Hour of Spin. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: After a reference to the "actual lame-duck President", "Mister" Bush, the formal attack on John McCain began. Not content with reporting on the financial and campaign problems plaguing McCain, Monkeymann upped the ante, presuming to correct him on his historical references and referring to him with demeaning insults. Only Olby would dare to smear a decorated Prisoner of War, but then again, if this were 1974, Olby would be Jane Fonda. Dana Milbank, lacking lurid livery, served up his typical prattle, echoing Olbermahn's claim that he knows the facts of the war better than McCain. Yes, because of all of Krazy Keith's visits there. We can just picture him in Saddam's bathtub. Executive privilege again. Great thanks.
Next up: the Dems. The open-mic incident, where Hill and Edwards were overheard at the end of the NAACP event yesterday plotting to freeze out people from future debates. In a high point of moonbattery, Krazy Keith blamed "Fox Noise" (that never gets old!) for leaving the mics open at the NAACP event. (Hey, Keith. Fox is controlling the weather too. It's all another trick of the eevil Bush/Murdoch/Jeff Foxworthy Crime Syndicate!) Needless to say Dennis Kucinich was outraged. Olbermann's Brain chortled onto the stage to echo Herr Olbermann that this didn't do Hill or John any harm, and maybe they have a good idea after all, and B.J. Clinton is such a "rock star", yada yada yada. Could anyone be more in Hillary's pocket than Edward R Olbermoronn? Executive privilege again! Many thanks.
#4: Al Qaeda in Iraq isn't really Al Qaeda. Then there's Al Qaeda in America--how will Olbermahn pooh-pooh this? Oh, he'll get Tyler, a favorite of the blue blogs, to do it for him. Aren't the leaks about Al Qaeda a trick to distract from, what is it this time, oh, right, Chertoff's "gut"? Oh yeah, it's possible. (Most things are.) It's all designed to prop up the war in Iraq. Stop using intelligence as a political tool, says the CIA man who has donated exclusively to Democrat federal candidates. It's "fear", says Fat Ass, and Tyler blames--guess who?--the Prez! Another shocker from OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
Oddball again focused on the running of the bulls, but Krazy Keith did not repeat his gender-confusion ("cows"?) of yesterday. He really has to stop hanging around with the creepy Michael Musto. Then #3: Barry Bonds, steroids, and Scooter Libby. A taped piece ran that might or might not have been cribbed from Bathtub Boy's recent cameo appearance on the mothership.
#2: Airplane close calls (regurgitated from the network mothership), plus Harry Potter, Jordin Sparks (wherein KO made fun of a relationship with a gap of 6 years...there's no shortage of chutpah on OlbyPlanet). #1: Paris Hilton with the disturbing Michael Musto, but we're boycotting his segments. We don't want to pick up any of that gender confusion that seems to have infected Krazy Keith. Media Matters Minute: two Republicans, no Democrats.
Dogs that did not bark: Tonight another special investigation into Olbermann's slanting of the news, lying by omission to smear not only "Mister" Bush and his "un-American" adminsitration, but U.S. troops as well. The topic: Haditha. The case has been flogged by Rev Olbermann since the allegations first surfaced. He has insisted that, compared to the My Lai massacre, "there is a bigger ceiling for potential political impact with Haditha". Olbermann suggested that it wasn't really an isolated incident, and traced responsibility straight back to Rumsfeld. He used "preliminary findings" to declare that US marines "murdered two dozen innocent civilians". And on and on. We found seventeen separate entries in the MSDNC transcript bank where Edward R Olbermann fulminated about this incident. He even claimed John Murtha had been vindicated for calling the soldiers cold-blooded murderers, even though none of whom at that point had even been charged.
For all of Edward R Olbermann's flogging of this story, there was a recent development that, oddly, received no mention from the carrot-complexioned commentator. It turns out that the case against yet another of the young men accused in this incident is so weak that the it will likely be dismissed. It's "unsupported", propped up with "unreliable witnesses", and contrary to the "clear and convincing evidence". All of a sudden, the Haditha story has dropped off the radar on OlbyPlanet. Not a word from Herr Olbermann (or, for that matter, from Judge Murtha). In the world of Keith Olbermann, this American soldier remains guilty of "murder", and if the evidence says otherwise, so what? Olby will simply refuse to report it!
Why does Keith Olbermann hate our troops?
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Bathtub Boy's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox and "right-wing" pundits eleven times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC six times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -22 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name soared to #3,721 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,069. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains buried below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,173 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, Fat Ass finally crept back into that hallowed spot that he supposedly rules. Yes, for the first time all this week, he eked out second place in the all-important, coveted, superior, supreme, much-beloved "key demo". Gee, can he make it two in a row, or will the O'Kasich Factor again eat his lunch? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Loony left central tonight on the Hour of Spin. Why was Keith in the tub yesterday, you ask? Just look at the lineup! He needed the Laughing Stagehand to put in extra hours creating the best softball questions he could lob at Michael "that kind of crap" Moore. Al Qaeda is back! It's stronger than any time ever but "Mister" Bush is countering that by saying the threat is overblown. Wait, isn't tonight's Speshul Komment implying that said terrorist threat is purely political and we shouldn't be trusting it? Which is it, Hauptmann? Is the President a liar or "Mister" Chertoff's gut? Can they both be liars? Or, as usual, you're just convinced that everyone is out to mislead you - or something like that? Apparently "Mister" Bush is disputing the facts even though, the facts, according to Der Fuhrer, are that he is countering the truth with threat assessment from another agency. I can't keep track! Apparently "he would know - or maybe not." Exactly. Typical Olby rhetoric - disort, lie and smear. Rinse and repeat. PLAME-GATE! Mister Bush promised to remove anyone who disclosed Mrs. Wilson's identity - but Fat Ass suggests he didn't. Hey moron - the guy who disclosed it - Dick Armitage - resigned on his own. Furthermore, he was one of your buddies who thought the Iraq War was a mistake. But I guess on OlbyPlanet it's all SCOOTER FIBBY! SCOOTER FIBBY! Funny how SCOOTER FIBBY wasn't indicted on a charge of disclosing a "covert agent's" identity. Whoops. Does not compute. Chertoff is gutless. Keithy is upset that the pics of Ms. New Jersey are not lacisvious enough. Speshul Komment plug.
#5: Keith makes perhaps his dumbest analogy in the history of sports broadcast - er - journalism. Something about some kid in Germany who tried to steal his report card because he would have to repeat his sophmore year. He had two kids try to steal his report card - which is just like Mister Bush who has "changed his report card" from its "Fs" to something else. Ok, what? Somehow the administration is threatening someone vis a vis this "metaphorical" report card. Keith worries that Al-Qaeda has regrouped to levels it has not experienced SINCE 9/11. Like, after we captured more than 2/3 of their leadership? Another attempt at an OlbySmear by trying to make it sound like "Mister" Bush is laying blame for 9/11 on Iraq. No, Jabba, what he is saying is that the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11 are now in Iraq trying to kill us. Not that Saddam Hussein or the Iraqi government had anything to do with 9/11. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Keith, ever the foreign policy wonk, declares that we created the power vacuum which has lead to Al-Qaeda in Iraq and CLEARLY we are all just flat out too stupid to realize that. On OlbyPlanet, one is naturally privy to more information than those in the White House and Defense Department. God - OBVIOUSLY! Adam's Apple, honored by General Clark's presence, asks HOW the President can play the fear card so long? Not if, maybe, could be, HOW? Is this not the definition of a biased question? Then again, I am not Edward R. Olbermann. "Were he to listen to his intelligence..." and another "duh" moment of the obvious evidence that Al-Qaeda in Iraq did not exist until 2004, has the White House reached a "watershed" [Ding!] moment? Have the President's actions not made this nation more vulnerable to terrorism, opines the slovenly political hack? Forget that incident in 1993 at the WTC, or those in 1998 in Africa, or that one on the USS Cole in 2000. Forget that we have not had an attack in six years in the United States. I wonder how sock puppet will play this one. Sock Puppet naturally agrees that we are more at risk than we are - oh wait - before we invaded Iraq, not 9/11 like Olby suggested. Whoops. Sock Puppet has asked for it. The President threw General Franks "under the bus" [Ding!] Quote Senator Edwards, the guy who voted for the Gulf War, calling the administration "delusional." Oh yeah, that guy is a Democrat too. Nevermind. The President has created the best recruiting tool that Osama Bin Laden could have ever hoped for states Keithy. I am trying my best not to read the irony of this behind Keith's emergence as the voice of defeatists. My heart skipped a beat when Gen. Clarke says he believes Sec. Chertoff when he says he has no hard evidence of an impending attack. Clarke praises law enforcement.
SCHWEINHUND! Thou shalt know better! DO NOT DISAGREE WITH OLBERSTURMFUHRER.
Although, he says politics trumps policy. Conspiracy theories about extending threats for political purposes until the President leaves office. Keith praises law enforcement too (echo he does). Great Thanks.
#4: Accountability? The President is killing it. The tombstone created by Harriet Miers non appearance. He never sought accountability for the "Plame leak" (Dick Armitage, Olby? Anyone? Bueller?). Herr Olbermann is joined by "acountability advocate" Rachel Maddow of Err America. Pardon my journalistic credibility here - HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHA. Ok. I needed to get that out. I am sure that all folks, including renowned smear artist Al Franken of Err America, are interested in accountability. Will Congress enforce its contempt findings? Who better to ask than someone who has nothing to do with Congress, Ms. Maddow! It's the "64k dollar question." How original. Pictures of John Conyers grand standing. Scooter Fibby commutating designed to appeal to viewers of Fox, says Ms. Maddow. Oooooo - gotcha Fox! And how better to appeal to Oralmann's ego than attacking the network that annihilates MSNBC on every front? More Richard Nixon [Ding!] references. We should focus more on Scooter Libby, says Maddow. Again I ask, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID HE HAVE TO DO WITH VALERIE PLAME? NOTHING. Is Mr. Bush cashing a blank cheque since Ms. Pelosi is not considering impeachment? If we cared about the constitution, we should impeach him. Great thanks. Chertoff should be fired.
Oddball: Running of the bulls in Spain (mess with the bull, get the horns - HAR HAR HAR Keith. Oh and Keith doesn't know the difference between a bull and a cow - thanks Merkle), a lot of mentos and "cokes" (again, another reference to Keith's regional knowledge of descriptions of "soda" - I am from the North East), Robotic campaigner in Afghanistan. Attack on St. Rudy and John McCain as the robot would avoid prostitues and drugs.
Newsmakers: Natalie Jacobson, Roberto Bernocco, Chinese Government
#3: Olbersturmfuhrer praises Germany for being the first nation to have national health care. Softball interview of the century and past. Clip from Sicko propaganda. Insult leveled against Fox "Noise" - HA! Another clip of Moore ranting and raving on CNN - practically shouting. Moore suggests he was out of control too - wow. He hopes for an apology from CNN for their maligning of his innocent "documentary." Moore praises Keith's commentaries on the war - ooooooo more sucking up in the vein of Maddow. He also calls the President "Mister" Bush without ever calling him President. Funny how like minds act alike. "Agreed." Konspiracy Theory on how a war distracts us from all the important issues like whether or not a Department of Homeland Security should exist and whether or not we should have universal health care. But of course, THAT'S WHY WE INVADED Iraq. To avoid talking about the very issue that you can have an hour long diatribe on your show about. Obviously. Moore attacks the Health Care industry. Keithy wonders how we'll have a single payer system since only Congressman Kucinich is for it out of all the Presidential Candidates. Is that guy even a hopeful? Is this a "tacit" admission of who you want as President, Herr Olbermann? The guy who wants to create the "Department of Peace"? Eeeeeeeeevil corporations make money on health insurance. On and on and on about the evils of profit. Rant about ending the war and the Democrats who are afraid says Keith. "Somehow" they're just "not getting the message." Go figure. Great Thanks. "Thanks for the great show you have." Wow, suck up central this evening. Pervert joke about Ms. New Jersey and her chest.
#2: Keeping Tabs: Ms. New Jersey keeps her crown. They are "hot if you are into pumpkins." Paris Hilton used her departure from jail to model her new clothing line.
In the Media Matters minute, bronze: religious "fanatics" protesting a Hindu Chaplain with a clip found at DailyKos. Silver to Sandy Rios for disagreeing with the San Diego padres for hosting a Gay Pride event during a giveaway of hats to kids. Actually, that's not why she got the silver. It's because she said there was a half-time during a baseball game - which does not happen (Source). Gold - Bill O'Reilly! Why? Same subject. Source? The same. Oralmann chastised Mr. O'Reilly for also disagreeing with the hosting of a gay pride event during an event designed for kids. God forbid - he actually said in his talking points memo that the viewer can make up theor own minds on the matter! Unlike Herr Olbermann's show where NO ONE disagrees.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name was dealt a bad day at #8,575 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #851. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome managed to - wait - it didn't. It's still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,199 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a laughable and fitting fourth place finish in that "money demo" Olbsession. Source. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 14 [DANGER!!!]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
You have by now heard the remark - instantly added to our through-the-looking-glass lexicon of the 21st century, a time when we suddenly started referring to this country as "the homeland," as if anybody here has used that term since Charles Lindbergh or the German-American Bund in 1940.
Michael Chertoff's "gut feeling."
Which, he took pains to emphasize, was based on no specific nor even vague intelligence that we are entering a period of increased risk of terrorism here.
He got as specific as saying that al-Qaida seems to like the summer, but as to the rest of it, he is perfectly content to let us sit and wait and worry - and to contemplate his gut.
We used to have John Ashcroft's major announcements.
We used to have David Paulison's breathless advisories about how to use duct tape against radiation attacks.
We used to have Tom Ridge's color-coded threat levels.
Now we have Michael Chertoff's gut!
Once, we thought we were tiptoeing along a Grand Canyon of possible and actual freedoms and civil liberties destroyed, as part of some kind of nauseating but ultimately necessary and intricately designed plan to stop future 9/11s or even future Glasgow car bombers who wind up having to get out and push their failed weapons.
Now it turns out we are risking all of our rights and protections - and risking the anger and hatred of the rest of the world - for the sake of Michael Chertoff's gut.
I have pondered this supreme expression of diminished expectations for parts of three days now. I have concluded that there are only five possible explanations for Mr. Chertoff's remarkable revelations about his transcendently important counterterrorism stomach.
Firstly, Mr. Chertoff, you are, as Richard Wolffe said here the other night, actually referencing not your gut but your backside - as in, "covering it." CYA.
Not only has there not been a terrorist attack stopped in this country, but your good old Homeland Security hasn't even unraveled a plausible terrorist plan.
And you and your folks there have a different kind of stomach pain, knowing that with a track record that consists largely of two accomplishments - inconveniencing people at airports and scaring them everywhere else - your department doesn't know what the hell it's doing, and even you, Mr. Chertoff, know it.
Secondly, of course, there is the explanation of choice for those millions of us who have heard the shrill and curiously timed cries of "wolf" over the past six years - what we've called here "the Nexus of Politics and Terror" - that there isn't anything cooking, and your "gut feeling" was actually that you'd better throw up a diversion soon on Mr. Bush's behalf or something real - like the Republicans' revolt about Iraq, and the nauseating "gut feeling" that we have gotten 3,611 Americans killed there for no reason - was actually going to seep into the American headlines and consciousness.
It's impossible to prove a negative, to guarantee that you and your predecessors deliberately scared the American public just for the political hell of it - even though your predecessor, Mr. Ridge, admitted he had his suspicions about exactly that.
Suffice to say, Mr. Chertoff: If it ever can be proved, there will be a lot of people from Homeland Security and other outposts of this remarkably corrupt administration who will be going to prison.
Thirdly - and most charitably, I guess, Mr. Chertoff - is the possibility that you have made some credible inference that we are really at greater risk right now but that any detail might blow some sort of attempt at interruption. There is some silver lining in this one.
But the silver lining would have been a greater one if this National Counter Terrorism Center Report hadn't leaked out the day after you introduced us to your gut, a report suggesting al-Qaida had re-built its operational capacity to pre-9/11 levels.
Not only did this latest hair-on-fire missive remind us that al-Qaida's re-growth has been along the Pakistan/Afghanistan border; not only did it remind us that your boss let this happen by shifting his resources out of Afghanistan to Iraq for his own vain and foolish purposes, to say nothing of ignoring Pakistan; not only did it underscore the ominous truth that if this country is victimized again by al-Qaida, the personal responsibility for the failure of our misplaced defenses would belong to President Bush and President Bush alone, but on top of all of it, Mr. Chertoff, it revealed you for the phony expert you are - the kid who hears in confidence something smart from somebody smart and then makes his prediction that what the smart kid said confidentially is about to happen.
It reads just as you revised the "gut" remark this morning, sir - the "informed opinion." The kid telling stories out of school.
The fourth possibility is a simple reversal of the third, Mr. Chertoff.
You shot off your bazoo, and then this National Counter Terrorism Center report was rushed out - even created - to cover you, to give you credibility, to cloud the reality that you actually intoned to the Chicago Tribune, the 21s-century equivalent of "by the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes."
But the fifth possible explanation of your gut, Mr. Chertoff, is the real nightmare scenario.
And it is simple.
That you, the man who famously told us "Louisiana is a city that is largely under water," meant this literally.
That we really have been reduced to listening to see if your gut will growl.
That your intestines are our best defense.
That your bowels are our listening devices, your digestive tract is full of augurs, your colon produces the results that the torture at Gitmo does not.
All hail the prophetic gut!
So there are your choices: bureaucratic self-protection, political manipulation of the worst kind, the dropping of opaque hints, a gaffe backfilled by an "instant report," or the complete disintegration of our counterterror effort.
Even if there really is never another terror attempt in this country, we have already lost too much in these last six years to now have to listen to Michael Chertoff's gut, no matter what its motivation.
We cannot and will not turn this country into a police state.
But even those of us who say that most loudly and insistently acknowledge that some stricter measures, under the still-stricter supervision of as many watchdogs as we can summon, are appropriate.
But you're not even going to wring any of that from us, Mr. Chertoff, if we're going to hear remarks about your "gut feelings."
You have reduced yourself to the status of a hunch-driven clown, and it's probably time you turned your task over to somebody who represents the brain and not the gut, certainly to somebody who does not, as you do now, represent that other part of the anatomy - the one through which the body disposes of what the stomach doesn't want.
Between helping PBS with credentialing bloggers for the recent Presidential Debate moderated by Tavis Smiley and being on vacation I've not had much time for Keith these days but will be back on the Olbermann beat soon enough. In the meantime, I have another Op-Ed piece in the Examiner which asks folks among the anti-war left a simple question: if they do not want to fight al Qaeda now in Iraq then when and where DO they want to fight them?
The Washington Examiner: Iraq is where the terrorists are now
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: Amy Robach
It's the show where the news is all wrong,
For its host, very few viewers long.
So tonight he will scrub.
You can click on his tub,
To enjoy Krazy Keith's own theme song.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Oralmann bellowed about the Iraq government missing its benchmarks. The President is "still not listening to any of us" which means not listening to DailyKos and OlbyLoons on policy. More GonzoGate fascination. Is the Attorney General a "moron"? Great reporting, Keith. Defending Michael Moore who ranted on CNN about "Sicko." Attacks on a Republican Senator for marital infidelity (any mention of B.J. Clinton? Nope) coupled with an attack on St. Rudy.
#5: Olbersturmfuhrer pretends to be the messenger for the American people while reciting casualty numbers for Iraq. Keith decides to "truthsquad" (ha!) the President's remark regarding troop levels. The President stated he never wanted to be a war President, yet he "started one in Iraq." Hey Fat Ass, remember 9/11? The war in Afghanistan? Did those events not make him a "war President"? Or was 9/11 just a criminal act by a bunch of morons like those other terrorist attacks? Keith implies that the administration linked 9/11 to Iraq which, coincidentally, Olby had no proof to back that up. The reason? It was never asserted that Iraq had anything to do with 9/11. In fact, it would said MULTIPLE TIMES that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Regardless, Jabba seems convinced the administration did. Keith still baffled by the fact that it takes time for a surge to actually surge rather than happen immediately when it was declared. It pains Keith to admit the last brigrade to enter Iraq became operational in June. More non reporting and instead filler clips. Conspiracy theories that Michael Chertoff is orchestrating a fear campaign. More clips of only Republicans who might disagree with the President. Of course there are clips of Democrats (Harry Reid, et. al.) Enter Keith's brain, the Wolffe Man. It's no longer a "question of whether or not the President is in denial." Keith thinks that the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee can dictate policy by running ads against Republicans up for election. Glad to know where my foreign policy would come from on OlbyPlanet. More disappointment that a withdraw bill could not pass. Wolffe Man declares the next two weeks are important. OK, just like Shuster and his resignation dates. Keith makes fart joke about Secretary Chertoff's "gut feeling." hehe. Breaking wind. Editorial on Michael Moore's "shut out" of Wolf Blitzer, Sanjay Gupta and CNN. Hooray Michael Moore accusing anyone who disagrees with him as liars! Typical Olby strategy.
#4: Gonzo-Gate! [Ding!] Alberto Gonzales on the Patriot Act. Clever caption referencing Hogan's Heroes. Enter Keith's other brain, the Perfessor. The Attorney General is lying, or pretty much lying. He should resign. Keith quotes a columnist who references Watergate [Ding!] and the administration is a disgrace. Shocking column commentary. Very dramatic reciting of how damaged the oldest and most revered department is. Discussion of Democrats attempting to cut funds off that go to the VP. Suggestions of impeachment. Great thanks, as always.
Oddball: Fat woman joke (her name was Ima Hog - ha!), some flame retardant, wrecking ball falling on a car, another crane mishap. Another plug for Moore and CNN not winning (apparently that is not new - huh?)
Newsmakers: Madonna (Laughing Stagehand laughs), flying lawn chair, James Burdette. Keith throws paper.
#3: Keith lectures us about fairness. Any guests that ever argue another point? No. Long clip of Michael moore attacking CNN. Keith goes after the MSM and their coverage of the health care system. Eeeeeeeeeeevil Big Business which is protecting that status quo and essentially wants you to die. Ms. Maddow sets up this hilarious idea that fairness just means allowing both points of view even when "one side is wrong." Oh, THAT'S FAIR. So, when you arbitrarily decide what's right, meaning that there can be no other view or idea on an issue, what is there left to discuss? Is there anyone that follows this logic? Why discuss ANYTHING? You're just always right, Ms. Maddow! Hence why you appear on the Hour of Spin because no one ever disagrees! "Fake Balance" by "Exxon" discussing Global Warming (forget all those scientists who are now stepping out of the shadows to suggest the hype is just hot air). Hauptmann talks about the "proverbial" [Ding!] fat cats conspiring to stop genuine health care debate and reform. Maddow does the sock puppet behavior by answering that the thing that is going to change things is Michael Moore's movie! Bush administration is bad. Great Thanks.
#2: The real Springfield of the Simpsons.
Keeping tabs: Nicole Ritchie's DUI trial, Tori Spelling finds religion
#1: Keith brings up Bob Livingston's marital infidelity. Senator Vitter attacks abound for being a hypocrite (which he might be). Dana Milbank comes in to mop up the Hour of Spin by telling Keith who Senator Vitter is. Olby worries Mr. Vitter might have violated the law. More jokes about sex and pants down. This really a huge deal because Senator Vitter endorsed St. Rudy which I guess dooms his campaign. Whatever.
In the Media Matters minute, Bronze, a guy of the Republican Party of Louisiana for criticising someone in his own party, Senator Vitter (Blue Blog Source, ClubLefty), "comedian" Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: MediaMatters), gold to "Bill-O" for hoping the mission in Iraq succeeds (Blue Blog Source: MediaMatters).
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's soared to #17,640 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #1,041. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome sadly remained off the radar at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,196 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Monday's Hour of Spin's numbers were unavailable at the time of this writing. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]
As only the Olbyloons can, they are just full of theories about why Dan Patrick is really leaving ESPN.
I present to you the unedited remarks of Keith's biggest fan: Orinenglish/BerryBush/Kathy/Tru, straight from the wacky state of Ohio where all of Keith's craziest fans come from:
Wow. Just when people were doubting he had something big to announce. It was obvious from the start of his show today that he was going to announce his departure. When, and for what, if anything, was still open. And the " for what" part still is.Catalyst? Funny you should ask what the catalyst was, Kim. Because I get the funniest feeling that once again, somewhere back in the bowels of The Worldwide Leader, someone is pounding a fist and saying "That Damn Olbermann! I KNEW letting him in the back door was a mistake." Why? Not because I think Keith necessarily dropped any hints in Dan's ear that he should leave. But because I find myself wondering exactly how much Dan, the Loyal Company Man, the man who could have retired from ESPN with a gold watch if he wanted to, found himself reexamining his life merely by being once again in regular contact with Keith at a time when Keith was achieving unprecedented success in his life after ESPN. When Keith first left, the morality tale seemed obvious. It was the story of the Prodigal Son, who was going to abandon his "family" out of some vague sense of discontent, wander the world, try to find a better life, squander his talents and skills, and most likely end up either crawling back home on hands and knees begging to be taken back, or end up coming to no decent end. Meanwhile, Dan, the Good Son, was going to stay home and continue to tend the family farm and keep everyone, including himself, happy. But how did that story really end, anyway? As Keith peregrinated from MSNBC to Fox and out again to part-time work at CNN and eventually back to MSNBC on a fairly low-rated, unhyped show, there was no reason to assume that he was suddenly going to taste as much, if not more, success than he did at the zenith of his powers cohosting SportsCenter with Dan. But in the past year or so, things started to gel for Keith in a whole new way. Suddenly his ratings were up, his praises were being sung, he was the topic of one news article after another, and he was re-signing with MSNBC to the tune of more money and even more exposure.
My, you'd almost think that Ms. Orinenglish/Tru/Kathy/BerryBush had a degree or six in psychology wouldn't you? She must be that Psych chick who used to run the QT galpal forum she seems such an expert at psychoanalyzing Mr. Patrick doesn't she? Of course, it's fairly clearly she's absolutely ignorant where the term "success" is concerned--who defines success as coming in third in the all-important key-demo? Who would define success as never having, not even once, beat Fox News overall or in the key-demo over the course of four years on the air? But facts never get in the way of the Olbyloons where their beloved Olby is concerned. Back to Orinenglish/Tru/BerryBush/Kathy/Psych:
And it all happened while Dan Patrick, loyal water carrier for the same boss for forever, sat by and watched. I wonder how much the daily drip, drip, drip of information and publicity about the Man Who Was Saving the Democracy caused Dan to rethink his own career. Whether or not he didn't feel just like the Good Son did when the Prodigal Son returned and Dad killed the fatted calf for him. Only in this version of the story, the prodigal didn't return as a desperate wretch, but as a surprising success. It's easy to imagine Dan, a man in midlife who had become comfortable, but maybe a little too comfortable, with his job, asking himself "Is this all there is?" "Are there other things I can do?" And How am I ever going to find out if I don't step out of my comfort zone and step off a cliff like Keith did?"
It's apparently very easy for Orinenglish/Kathy/Tru/BerryBush/Tru to imagine quite a lot isn't it? Why it's almost like she's Dan's best friend (and part-time psychoanalyst)! Or maybe instead of hearing voices in her head she thinks that she IS the voice inside of Dan Patrick's head.
Keith may not have said a word to Dan to provoke any of this. But I wouldn't be at all surprised if, when these thoughts ran through Dan's head, he didn't first share them with Keith. Maybe even before admitting them to his own wife.
If Dan is discussing career matters with Keith before his wife or his agent, I hope that Patrick spends at least some of his new found time in marriage counseling and seeking our a new agent!
What if I do what you did, Keith? What if I decide to take the chance? Am I being an idiot, throwing away everything I've built up over 18 years? Or is it worth it, just so I find out what could have been if I hadn't stayed safe? And if I do it, what do I say when people come up to me and yell "You idiot, why on earth did you quit every manâ€™s dream job?" It's tough for anyone, especially a man with a wife and children who count on him, to make a midlife job or employer change. It's even tougher when he's worked for so long in the same place. And tougher yet when he's not being forced into it, but choosing it, so that everyone questions his sanity. And tougher still when he doesn't even have a new job lined up. Being Dan Patrick probably doesnâ€™t make it a whole lot easier, famous name and likely financial cushion aside.
What would Keith do? Is the new mantra of the radical left? Or just everyday life for the Olbyloons? And yes Kathy/Orienenglish/Tru/BerryBush/Psych: I'm just so sure that a laid-off factory worker would agree with you that Dan Patrick's plight is so much tougher.
But I have faith in Dan. He's got talent, he's got likability, he's got what it takes and he can take it many places. I could see him hosting his own syndicated talk show, for example, and not just on sports. Or even a network show. Men and women would watch him. I think his opportunities are wide open. Now he won't have to be nagged by the question "What if?" anymore. And wherever he goes, whatever he does, heâ€™ll have the comfort of knowing that when he does so, he'll do it with the full support of a guy who knows exactly what itâ€™s like to hear the words "You CHOSE to leave ESPN? Why????" God bless ya, Dan. I'll be watching to see what happens.
Well, just so long as Orinenglish/BerryBush/Kathy/Tru/Psych has faith in Dan's career choices, I'm sure he'll be fine! And yes, Keith Olbermann has been a career model for many. Why I'm sure that aspiring broadcasters want to be just like Keith, fired and washed up and out from how many networks is it? ESPN, Fox Sports, MSNBC (the first time), and how many local stations? And so many people when getting their own show on a network aspire to being THIRD in the all-important key-demo! For the record, since leaving ESPN television, Dan Patrick has been the host of ABC's basketball coverage including the NBA playoffs and finals. Dan made it to the broadcast network level years before Olbermann did but of course, in this elaborate (and we do mean elaborate) Olbyloon scenario, it's Olby-won who is dispensing career advice to the hapless Dan Patrick. Only in Olbyworld kiddies, only in Olbyworld!
Another loonatic theory:
I agree with Orinenglish on this. All day I was thinking "I bet KO influenced this", even if not intentionally. I also thought of two additional possibilities. First, that Keith had told Dan he could not do the Big Show come the fall once he starts the football gig and that influenced Dan that this was a good time to end the show, and also that possibly Keith has some connections outside of sports (maybe MSNBC but also other places) that Dan has spoken with so DP knows he is marketable and was more secure in making the leap.
Yes, Dan Patrick has only been doing the radio show since 1999, I'm just so sure that he can't possible begin to even think of doing a show without Olbermann!
Recently on the show, Keith DID gently needle Dan about having had only one employer his whole life. I wondered at the time where that came from. They must have been talking about it behind the scenes, as Dan bounced the pros and cons of leaving or staying off his friend. Keith's success seemed to fuel the friendly competition theyve always had going.
Wow--seems Olbermann forgets that Patrick worked at CNN before he went to ESPN and had jobs in local radio and television prior to that. Olbermann get a fact wrong? So if Keith can't even get his friend's career history straight, how is he supposed to be able to dispense career advice exactly? I guess the same way he dispenses career advice to Bush/Cheney and the GOP on a nightly basis, based on nothing but the voices in his head, and the advice of convicted felons like John Dean!
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann must have really been turned on tonight. His bellowing of the opening spiel was invested with a special sort of mania: possible withdrawals from Iraq, the President's "skull", GonzoGate, Executive privilege, was Katie Couric "sandbagged", Dan Patrick, and The Simpsons! And yet, as is so often the case on OlbyPlanet, it's what he didn't cover, and has refused to report, that really exposes him as the slovenly political hack he is. We'll get to that in a special Dogs That Did Not Bark segment. First, let's dispose of tonight's Hour of Spin.
#5: Iraq not meeting benchmarks; "Bush administration double-speak"; Tony Snow is a liar; Reid wants a complete withdrawal. The Wolffe Man simpered about "changing the dynamic". Keith invoked Rule #1 to claim the White House "set itself up for a pummelling". Olby spun a Karl Rove comment as undercutting criticism of Bill Jefferson Clinton. (Absolutely. Loyalty to the Clintons is Job One on OlbyPlanet.) Great thanks.
The New York Times says the war is lost. RC from the Washington Post reiterated stuff that had already been stated (repetition, a key to successful propaganda). Getting out of Iraq will be "bloodier" than in Kuwait; it will be "violent and dangerous"; it's all bad, bad bad. KO brings up VietNam [Ding!]. We were worried that he might overlook that one. And then for what, the third time?, the fourth time?, back to benchmarks. RC pointed out that the Iraqi leadership don't want us to leave. Hey, how'd that get in there? Herr Olbermann ended the chat. Great thanks.
#4: After a plug for The White House in Crisis [Ding!], there was another plug for The White House in Crisis [Ding!], complete with a reference to Nixon [Ding!]. Then came, what else? The White House in Crisis [Ding!]. The eeevil "Mister" Bush invoked executive privilege. It's a "constitutional showdown"! Olby showed a Nixonian clock [Ding!] that showed "Mister" Bush was becoming more like Nixon because he invoked executive privilege.
Stop the tivo! Um, shouldn't that be a Clintonian clock? Nixon invoked executive privilege six times. B.J. Clinton claimed executive privilege at least 14 times (the number is probably higher: B.J. stopped making his request in writing). Plus B.J.'s claims were much wider in scope than Nixon's: he even tried to cover up for the disgraced Mike Espy by claiming the privilege for documents he (Clinton) never saw! But no, you won't see a Clinton clock on Countdown. Krazy Keith finds it all too komfy in that pocket of Bill and Hill's.
Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program had another meeting with their star pupil: convicted felon John Dean. The legal expert made an interesting claim: the further you get away from a direct conversation with the President, the weaker the privilege. Oh, so that means that conversations that are not directly with the Prez could be protected? Funny you should say that, Mr disbarred lawyer. Just a few months ago you insisted that only conversations directly with the President could be protected. We corrected you back then. Apparently you've been reading Olbermann Watch, as you have now come to realize that our analysis was correct and yours was, as usual, wrong.
The criminal went on to say that Nixon [Ding!] gave executive privilege a bad name. (But not B.J. Clinton? We presume you see the pattern here.) Just to pound it home, grainy video ran of--guess who?--Nixon! [Ding!] Dean didn't get Great Thanksed, but he did get Pleasured.
#3: Katie Couric's New York article: Olby kicks it off by suggesting that the author (Joe Hagan) is "a snake". Hmm. Could this be why? Nobody holds a grudge like our Keithy. Nonetheless, Monkeymann spent an entire segment on Hagan's piece with Battaglio. Fat Ass's demo numbers are on the decline, but he still cackled about Katie's viewers being "in their 70s". Great thanks.
#2: Miss New Jersey (with a "vaseline tooth smile") and Dan Patrick. #1: The Simpsons.
In the Media Matters Minute, we got Chris Cannon (R) (Blue Blog Source: Raw Story), and Karl Rove (R)(Blue Blog Source: Carpetbagger Report), garnished with another attack on Fox. Thank you Mr "I am not politically biased".
And now what you've been waiting for: Dogs that did not bark. This is a classic, because it demonstrates not only how the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann slants the news, but also how Coutdown's news coverage can't compare to what you get right here on Olbermann Watch. Set the Wayback Machine for August 17, 2006. On that day, Olbermoronn was hyperventilating about a Federal Court ruling against the NSA surveillance program. Olby called it "stunning" (precisely as we predicted), and a "judicial smackdown" to the Bush administration. Since Herr Olbermann spent an entire segment on the ruling, that meant a guest: none other than The Perfessor. He praised the "thoughtful" decision and used it to claim (yet again) that the eeevil Bush was committing "federal crimes". Now, compare all that with what we wrote right here on Olbermann Watch:
Turley quickly accused Bush of committing "a federal crime". We almost spit up our Diet Coke when the Perfessor described the opinion as "very thoughtful" (yeah, like how it completely fudged the issue of standing?).... Nobody mentioned the consensus of legal opinion that the decision will be reversed on appeal. Hell, if that happens, we'll be lucky if Olby even reports it!
On Friday, July 6, the U.S. Court of Appeals took Monkeymann's "stunning" decision and threw it out. Just as we said they would. A key issue in the court's decision was standing. Just as we said it would be. And--surprise!--Edward R Olbermann completely ignored the story and didn't report it. Not on Friday, and not today. Just as we predicted. As we said, the news you get from this website is fairer, more insightful, and way more accurate than the propaganda on The Hour of Spin.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name roars along at #12,351 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,058. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains invisible to the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,472 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Friday night, with O'Reilly absent, Bathtub Boy was able to eke out a second place finish, but still lost overwhelmingly to The O'Malkin Factor, both in total viwers and in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 7 [HIGH]
Just announced today, Dan Patrick is leaving his ratings-challenged ESPN radio program. That means the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann will also be off ESPN as of mid-August. So Herr Olbermann, who just a few days ago was chortling over Bill O'Reilly losing one radio affiliate, is himself about to lose hundreds. It must be Karma.
Okay, this isn't actually another one of the typical rah-rah, fawning, kiss-butt media profiles of Keith Olbermann. It's actually yet another article by someone who correctly gets it about what's wrong with Olbermann. IBD correctly points out for all the liberal whining about the bias they perceive as epidemic and characteristic of Fox News, none of them seem to find anything wrong with the liberal bias at MSNBC!
How desperate are the radical leftists? So desperate that they want to bring back the so-called "Fairness Doctrine" to television and radio airwaves. Among the proponents for revial of the fairness doctrine include the usual suspects, Sens. Dianne Feinstein of California and John Kerry of Massachusetts.
IBD correctly points out that the liberals already have their own 24/7 mouthpiece, MS-DNC.
Media Bias: MSNBC would be fairer and more balanced with Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean on the air instead of Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews. Where is its "Fairness Doctrine"?
Hmmm. Anyone remember the last time Olbermann had on an opposing viewpoint on his little liberal-love fest? Anyone? Anyone? Nah, me either. You gotta believe that Keith wouldn't be too happy with the idea of the fairness doctrine returning either, it might actually mean he'd have to have someone on who didn't ape and parrot his "I love the DNC" routine.
Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC's "Countdown," gained fame first as a baseball card collector, then a sportscaster, but is now apparently qualified to "report" on politics. On Monday, this is how Olbermann began his "news" on Scooter Libby's clemency:
"Good evening. A president who lied us into a war and, in so doing, needlessly killed 3,584 of our family and friends and neighbors . . . has tonight freed from the prospect of prison the only man ever to come to trial for one of the component felonies in what may be the greatest crime of this young century." Olbermann then called on President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney to resign before, as always, parroting Edward R. Murrow's sign off, "Good night, and good luck." Unlike talk radio, Olbermann's program presents itself as a straight newscast, featuring reports from NBC correspondents like Andrea Mitchell.
Can you imagine the hue and cry of the liberal loonies if Fox News began one of their newscasts with a tirade like that if it were aimed towards a Democratic administration? Fox News is the network that people love to hate, although the ratings clearly indicate that someone out there likes it. It simply galls the radical left extremists that a network like Fox exists and that their liberal ideals are questioned by conservative hosts. But the point they seem to forget is that these programs are OPINION shows. Yet no one seems to question the propriety of Olbermann's NEWS program opening up with a clearly slanted, biased bit of propaganda like the one he spewed above. MSNBC insists that he has a news show and that he's a journalst. Countless articles in the mainstream media have praised him as a "news anchor" right down to annointing him the "Edward R. Murrow" of his generation. Too few have questioned how it is that it's okay for him to push a liberal viewpoint on a news program yet so wrong for anyone on Fox News to have an opinion contrary to that of the DNC on a clearly-labeled opinion show. But then again, hypocrisy and Democrats seem to go together like. . .bread and butter don't they? And it's clear that Olbermann's bread and butter is in running a slanted, biased opinion-fest disgused as a "news" program.
Another of MSNBC's ranters is Chris Matthews, host of "Hardball." The highly partisan Matthews was a senior aide to the late Speaker Tip O'Neill, the Massachusetts Democrat, and the author of President Carter's infamous "malaise" speech. On Tuesday, Matthews interviewed former ambassador Joseph Wilson â€” who wrote the infamous New York Times op-ed in 2003 claiming that Bush lied about Saddam Hussein seeking yellowcake uranium in Niger â€” about the Libby controversy. It was Wilson who always claimed that his wife â€” then-CIA operative Valerie Plame, whose cover was allegedly blown by the Bush White House, sparking the probe that eventually netted Scooter Libby â€” never recommended him to go to Niger and investigate. But in 2004, a Senate Intelligence Committee report found that "interviews and documents provided to the committee indicate (Plame) suggested his name for the trip" â€” including a memo from Plame to the CIA. The Senate also found that Wilson's own report said the Niger government had confirmed that Iraq tried to buy uranium. But instead of grilling Wilson on any of this, Matthews treated him as a paragon of integrity, throwing the softest of softballs, like: "Do you believe that they (the Bush administration) went after you because you were a war critic?"
Wow, imagine that. Chris Matthews throwing softballs to someone the Liberal Loons hold in as high a regard as they do Olbermann? Olbermann, Plame, and Wilson are pretty much the Holy Trinity of the Radical Left. Thrown in Cindy Sheehan and Rosie O'Donnell and you have the starting line-up for the for the Democratic All-Star Team. But nothing is wrong with such bias just so long as it's left-wing bias, right?
Democratic presidential candidates get away with refusing to let Fox News sponsor a debate, while their Republican counterparts let MSNBC lead them like lambs to the slaughter courtesy of Matthews' loaded questions and sound bites and Olbermann's crazed tirades. A "Fairness Doctrine" manufacturing Olbermann and Matthews clones is the last thing America needs.
While IBD takes a dim view of the "Fairness Doctrine", I'm at least rather hopeful that if Kerry & Feinstein get their way that we might actually see the rarest of all creatures known to mankind on Keith Olbermann's "news" program-an opposing view.
Kim Cattral of "Sex and the City Fame" is 206 years old according to Keith Olbermann. Actually, Miss Cattral is only three years older than Olbermann. For those of you who have followed Olbermann closely as we have here at Olbermannwatch, you know that this is hardly his first slam at a woman's age. Or women in general.
This is a long entry folks, relax, kick back, settle in, and let's revisit Olbermann's history with women shall we?
Where do we even begin to recount all the insults he's thrown out at women on Countdown? There is of course, the now infamous Rita Cosby remark about her being dumber than a suitcase of rocks.There was the reference to Angelina Jolie being desperate and "looking for a ring" from Brad Pitt. Yes, Oscar-winning actresses just want to latch on to a guy and use them don't they Keith? Then there was the reference to Lindsay Lohan's Mother: as a "bag". Although we're guessing that Dina Lohan is somewhere in the vicnity of Olbermann's own age. There was of course the reference to Ann Coulter's nether regions in which he used the infamous "c" word. Britney Spears has been called a "tart". And then there is Olbermann's repeated use of the phrase "Here, Kitty, Kitty", a vulgar term for a female reproductive body part.
And of course, he's insulted any number of women (Melana Trump, Nic Cage's wife to name just two) as "Child Brides". Mighty funny if you know that Olbermann is shacked up with one Katy Tur, a recent University of California at Santa Barbara graduate. Olbermann is older than Tur's father, a fact that Olby seems to be quite proud of. See, it's okay for Olbermann to live with a girl who is 25 years younger than he is, but it is wrong for anyone else to marry a woman younger than themselves. We don't want to say Olbermann's a hypocrite, okay, yes, in fact we DO want to say Olbermann's a hypocrite, as the record clearly shows.
And then there's Paris Hilton. Oh dear Paris Hilton. Wherever do we even begin to recount his history of insults towards Ms. Hilton? A columnist at Tom Paine wrote,
Olbermann has a nasty habit of making sexist, derogatory statements about female celebrities. The things he's said are shameful and should never have been uttered, let alone on television. While he is certainly not alone in his reprehensible treatment of women, Olbermann is widely admired by progressives; unlike other trashy gossip commentators, he must be held to progressive standards.
Higher standards huh? Who does she think Keith Olbermann is? The kind of guy who wouldn't make anti-gay comments? Because while he was making remarks about Kim Cattrel's age, he threw in an extra-added slam at Cynthia Nixon, who is a lesbian "
Miss Nixon declared her romantic orientation as being somewhat different from that her character, Miranda.
Hmm. Why is Keith making a point to tell us Miss Nixon is a lesbian? Is there something wrong with being a homosexual Keith? Aren't you supposed to be "Progressive"?
The Tom Paine columnist had it right when she said,
The fact that you are a petty, disrespectful misogynist discredits you. You are not a progressive and you never will be, unless you drastically alter your attitude toward women. All of the brutally honest political criticism in the world does not make up for the shallow, sexist tripe you use to boost ratings. You, sir, are no Edward R. Murrow.
Ah but the Olbyloons sprung to Olby's defense, flooding the writer with nasty emails and tracking down personal information about her which they then posted at their favorite haunt, Democratic Underground.
Other bloggers also complained, including the usually fawning Huffington Post:
Now. No one is making the argument here that Hilton is a blushing virgin. But there is something really unseemly and misogynistic about that particular phrase, not only is it stunningly inappropriate for MSNBC and Olbermann (the recent holier-than-thou voice of America Wronged, lest we forget) to throw that label on anyone, but particularly in the context of a claim of assault, which diminishes the seriousness of an assault charge and suggests that assaults on 'sluts' are less worthy of serious consideration. All I can say is that it is a vile reference, and completely beneath what Olbermann holds himself out to be. Not exactly what one would call an Edward R. Murrow moment.
The result? A lot of nasty comments aimed at the writer who basically told her to shut up because "Keith speaks for us". Hmmm. Guess those wacky liberals aren't as progressive as we thought since they seem to think it's okay for Olbermann to repeatedly throw out insults at women.
The Hilton remark even resulted in a flame war at one of his own fan sites:
I've heard Olbermann make any number of offensive comments regarding women. They range from mildly irritating sexual innuendo to the outright repugnant. On the very (very!) rare occasions where I've referenced those comments in this blog, I've only done so obliquely. At the time, I argued to myself that his talents as a journalist and a critic of the administration were such that the personal peccadilloes that would prompt such a scathing view of any woman's role as a sexual being should be overlooked.But as a woman, as a citizen, and as a moral agent, I find it an ethical imperative to stand up and denounce every single slur made by Keith Olbermann against women in the course of his professional duties. I'm not a fan of Paris Hilton as a celebrity and public figure. I am, however, a staunch supporter of any woman whose sexuality is targeted as an object of shame and derision."A slut and a battery"? "Had worse things happen to her face"? A woman as a sexual being is still a human being. A woman who chooses to display that sexuality in public is not inviting slurs on her moral fiber. A woman who acknowledges her sexuality does not deserve punishment. It's wrong. It's not only wrong, it's reprehensible and directly undermines every woman's rights, rights held not as a woman, but as a human being.
And the result there? You guessed it, the Olbyloons came rushing to Keith's defense. The primary theme seemed to be this: But it's Paris Hilton! And then there were those who denied that Keith has ever said anything negative about women ever--why he's a regular champion of females everywhere (particularly if they are young, attractive, and willing to have a one-night stand with him in a midtown Manhattan hotel). Here is the oh-so-passionate defense put up for Keith by his biggest fan, Orinenglish/BerryBush/Kathy: "Orinenglish" aka "Kathy" aka "BerryBush":
I just don't see where Keith has been such a terrible misogynist. On the contrary, one of the reasons I admire him as much as I do is that time and time again, he has stuck up for women and displayed his admiration and respect for strong, mature women. There's nothing sexist about it; I fail to see where he has made all these sexist remarks he's been accused of making repeatedly.I think some people are reading way, way more into this remark on Paris Hilton than was ever implied.
That little declaration from Orinenglish/Kathy/BerryBush was met with yet another example of Olbermann's love for slamming females by someone named "Arlene":
I just got finished watching Olbermann doing some inane, sexist thing about a woman and a box. He asked "what's in the box" and then very pointedly said "Maybe it's a PUPPY!. Get it? Bitch? Puppy?
This latest example sent Orinenglish/BerryBush/Kathy over the top---Arlene must be. . .yes. . you guessed it--an agent from Olbermannwatch, because as you know, we're everywhere!
Really, I think you are reading misogyny into what Keith says, and you're probably not going to like this, because you WANT to find it there.I'm not sure why you should want to find it there, or whether it's something about you personally that reads sexism into his every remark, but I really, truly think you are. In fact, your remarks about him are so very negative that I can't help but wonder if you're an Olbermann Watcher conducting "psyops" against Keith's female fandom by trying to spread the meme that he hates women.Honestly, I think Keith's supposed female bashing and problem with womenâ€“especially young women, is either a figment of your imagination, or a deliberate plot by Olbermann Watch to get women to stop liking the man as much as so many of them do. (In that case, it's way too obvious to work.)
No Orinenglish/Kathy/BerryBush--whatever name you happen to be using today---Keith never makes personal attacks towards women does he? If you can't see it sister, all I have to say is that you must be deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid. Oh wait, you're an Olby fan, of course you are all of the above and then some! Huffington Post sees it. Daily Kos sees it. Any number of feminist blogs have written about it. all bonafide liberal websites, but somehow, all of these people are super-secret double-agents working for. . . Olbermannwatch! Damn that Bob Cox is a clever son-of-a-gun isn't he?
But as a denzien of Democratic Underground, you'd think that ole' BerryBush/Kathy/Orinenglish would have noticed that people there have some issues with Keith Olbermann too---why it got so heated there that the moderators had to lock the thread--because pointing out the truth about Keith Olbermann just isn't allowed at Democratic Underground--gotta maintain his "reputation" as the "Edward R. Murrow" of his generation don't you know!
So there you have it, yet another recap of Olbermann's history of misogynistic remarks, but just remember, according to the Olbyloons, he's never said any such thing, he "supports" women (and gays), and is just the most perfect human being whom has ever drawn breath on this earth. Oh, and "real" liberals shouldn't say anything bad about him because he insults Bush and if they do, they're really super-secret double agents from Olbermannwatch. Only on Olbyplanet could these people ignore this kind of evidence and still insist he's not a misogynist!
Oh, and one last thing--if Kim Cattral is 206, does that mean Olbermann is really 203?
Krazy Keith's latest Special Education Komment has inspired criticism and ridicule from clear-thinking broadcasters who actually have an audience. On Friday night, John Gibson slammed Olbermann (and Chris Matthews). In this excerpt, Gibby is tangling with what sounds to be a genuine OlbyLoon:
The full audio clip can be heard here.
Meanwhile, Steve Malzberg spent the better part of an entire broadcast hour dissecting and sneering at Herr Olbermoronn's latest embarrassment. The audio clip is lengthy but worth it, and can be heard here.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: impeach Bush, Wesley Clark, Rupert Murdoch, yada yada yada. Plus, as a blue blog bonus, a plug for Live Earth, just coincidentally being plastered all over the networks of NBC. But this is 4th of July week. We just can't get worked up about Herr Olbermann's bias, propaganda, and lies tonight. It's casual friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Big News: William Odom (described as a Reagan administration official, though he is in fact a far-left favorite at deep blue sites like Democracy Now--naturally his Orangeness doesn't mention that) says we should leave Iraq. This is Big News, just like it was Big News when he said it in 2004, and 2005. Olby is "honored" to have Wesley Clark on, because he's a Democrat. You really must check out The List. Olby smears a few Republicans and a good time was had by all.
Jeffries is next up, and his far-left politics, like those of Odom, are also not disclosed. (He writes for Texas Blue, whose motto is "advancing progressive ideas", and the High Priest himself, DailyKos ). There is no truth in packaging on OlbyPlanet.
#4: Because UBL may have been behind the UK terror attacks, therefore UBL is not much of a threat. They were incompetent attacks, failures, by amateurs. Nothing to see here. These aren't the droids you are looking for. Notable because Herr Olbermann cited a Murdoch newspaper as his source. The eeevil NewsCorp is only eeevil until Krazy Keith spots something he wants to use.
#3: A toilet for the space station, the Mars rover, and The Laughing Stagehand. #2: Seemingly endless plug for Al Gore's Live Earth ("it's about saving ourselves"), plus Prince William, Heidi Fleiss. #1: Oddballs of the month.
In the Media Matters Minute: of course Fat Ass had to feed his O'Reilly Olbsession (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). Keithy Boy actually believes it is national news when O'Reilly's radio show loses one radio station among hundreds. Sneer! Snicker! Does this mean he will report every time Mr Bill picks up another affiliate? Not on OlbyPlanet. Funny, we see O'Reilly here, but no sign of Dan and Keith. Oh, Neil Cavuto was also attacked (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress) for asking a question without getting permission from Herr Olbermann. (Needless to say, the TP "summary" of the Cavuto segment bears little relation to what was actually said. But it was a lot closer to reality than what Bathtub Boy claimed, which was just another Olbermann lie). Plus yet another attack on Mr Bill! A Fox trifecta!!
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Bathtub Boy's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox and/or right-wing pundits nine times (it was a slow week, with a day off in the middle). His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC twice, but Olby criticisms of MSNBC totalled: zero. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -18 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name roars along at #10,169 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #731. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains interned below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,256 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. In another stunning demonstration of the discredited sports guy's overwhelming popularity, his Thursday night show finished first... no wait, that's not right... Oh, OK. It finished second... Um, wait, there may be a correction on that... All right we've got it now. On Thursday The Hour of Spin finished third, and far behind the O'Malkin Factor, in the critical, beloved, all-important, coveted "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
On his radio program Thursday evening, John Gibson asserted that NBC is violating its own policy guidelines, and one of the examples he cited was the latest Special Education Komment by the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. We have the audio highlights for your listening pleasure:
Wait--this isn't the usual MSM whitewash of Olbermann's antics. It's someone who actually gets what is wrong with one Keith T. Olbermann (the T stands for theatrical).
Liberals flock to Olbermann because he is an unabashed purveyor of propaganda slanted to the left - just as the rabid right wingers follow Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly because they pander to conservative viewpoints.But Olbermann is no less bombastic or any less slanted than his rivals. He just represents the other side. He is an unabashed liberal who wears his bias on the sleeves of his custom tailored suits and bias - whether right or left, conservative or liberal, Republican or Democrat - is still bias.
Flock may be an overstatement--obviously this writer hasn't seen Olbermann's latest ratings which put him solidly behind both Bill O'Reilly and horror or horrors--Nancy Grace.
Liberals claim the vast wasteland of cable TV news needs Olbermann because he counterbalances the right-wing domination of the market by Fox. When Fox News went on the air, conservatives said the same thing, claiming they needed a right-wing voice to counterbalance what they saw as liberal control of the news. When bias becomes the central focus of any news organization, truth loses out. Truth cannot co-exist with bias and the public is never served by any operation that delivers news from a singular, pre-determined point of view.
Finally, someone gets it. At least Fox has the decency to properly label their opinion shows as such. That's not a distinction that MSNBC is either willing or able to make. And as much as the liberals scream and cry about the alleged biases of Fox News, they don't seem to have a problem at all with Olbermann's liberal bias now do they? If they honestly cared about journalistic ethics, they'd know better. Maybe they do, but in their partisan blindness, they've decided that certain rules do not apply, henceforth, things like journalistic ethics can be tossed aside in the name of liberal politics.
Sadly, what the Olbermanns, O'Reillys, Limbaughs and others of their ilk spoon feed a gullible American public is not news or even solid information. It is partisan pap, spiked with hyperbole and laced with entertainment-enhanced glitz.
Again, I don't think the average American tunes in to O'Reilly or Limbaugh to get news. Yet MSNBC insists on calling Olbermann's program a news show and Olbermann a news anchor.
Olbermann ends each "newscast" with "Good night and good luck," a salutation stolen, word-for-word, from the late, great newsman Edward R. Murrow. Murrow, like the news that both cable TV and broadcast networks on both sides of the political spectrum so cheapens with their theatrics, deserves better.
Truer words have never been written, yet the loons still insist that Olbermann is Edward R. Murrow reincarnate.
It's been awhile since the last fawning MSM piece on Olbermann, but don't despair Olbermannwatchers-the Orlando Sentinel has stepped in to fill the void:
Keith Olbermann had a Howard Beale moment Tuesday night. Showing unusual fury and quoting John Wayne, the MSNBC anchor urged President Bush and Vice President Cheney to resign.Olbermann was as mad as hell and he wasn't going to take it anymore. Olbermann seethed about Bush's commutation of the prison sentence for former White House aide Scooter Libby.
Yep, Olbermann shares a great deal in common with one Howard Beale, namely, apparent insanity.
Olbermann's style was so fierce that it probably stunned many viewers. It's rare to hear a TV news star share such blistering and thought-out commentary. And Olbermann never resorted to clowning or comedy. That made it especially unusual and uncomfortable.
On the contrary! We here at Olbermannwatch found Olbermann's latest rant to be oh-so-very amusing and comical.
. . . his delivery was unrelenting and harsh. And yet it memorable, too, for weaving in screen legend (John) Wayne.
Because as we all know, Hollywood actors know oh-so-very much about Politics right?
Too theatrical? I guess it depends on your political persuasion or how upset you are by the state of the country.
Yeah, you know, when a supposed news "anchor" and "journalist" goes off on a rant like this, yeah, it may be considered to be a tad too theatrical. But note the writer doesn't think there is an inherent problem with Olbermann expressing opinions on what is labeled a news program by MS-DNC.
In "Sicko," Michael Moore shrewdly leavens his commentary with comedy. (You need the humor in a two-hour movie.) Moore wonders why Americans are so slow to protest for better government.
No wonder. This guy is a fan of Michael Moore's too. Kinda says it all doesn't it?
Maybe the public needs to hear more voices like Olbermann's -- reasoned, passionate, daring -- on a regular basis. Such commentary supersedes the partisan bickering that usually passes for political discussion on television.
Ha ha. This guy thinks Olbermann was "reasoned" in this latest rant? He was so out of control I expected his head to spin around in 360 fashion and the green pea soup spitting to begin at any moment. But remember, this is the MSM and what Olberman did is "daring" and should be done on a "regular basis". Wonder what they'd say if someone at Fox had gone off on a Democratic president or one of the candidates currently running for the nomination? How many articles would we read in the MSM discussing the apparent lack of sanity of the said commentator? But Olbermann, passing himself off as a "journalist", his program as a "news show", gets the proverbial free pass from the MSM yet again.
Host: Keith Olbermann
If there couldn't be a bigger opening spiel, this is it. "Joining the obstruction of justice." Clip of Bush out of context thinking of a response to a question. Potential pardon - an actual Presidential power - shocker! Did Mister Cheney tell Mr. Bush to do this? The Democrats don't know where to start. Conyers and Waxman pictures. Former Vice President Gore (aka god) versus the St. Rudy. Plug for Speshul Komment. I think two bottles are in order.
#5: A "clear majority" of American disagree with the commutation. The President threw away any reason for Americans to believe he is an honest man. ANOTHER plug for the Speshul Komment. A real clip of the President making a statement on Mr. Libby's convinction. Clips of the always moderate media fighting with Press Secretary Tony Snow. The Vice President - SHOCKINGLY - was the last person to meet with the President before he made the decision to commute the sentence of Mr. Libby. Keithy admits that "Mister" Libby never requested the commutation - gasp! So what is Olbersturmfuhrer saying here? It was a favor but Libby didn't ask for it? It was just understood? Hm? Time to call in the Wolffe Man. Great insight about commutations in the White House versus those when he was Governor of Texas. Some how this ties into Iraq. Keith mentions the esteemed non partisan Conyers and Waxman of the House who are going to hold hearings on said commutation. Is this going to bring together the American people
#4: Olby pretends to play "truth squad." Yeah, this is the no spin zone folks. The administration lies about lies and protects lies as it smears liars. Er wait. They aren't liars. Jabba is too fast for me. Olbermann, baffled at the fact that no one was charged in the "leak." Mr. No One Has This Better Covered Slippery Shuster comes in to help his Great Leader. We all know how reliable Slippery is with his "sources." Remember when Speaker Hastert was going to resign? Slippery reminds us that what "Libby" was convicted of were "crimes." Sacrament! YOU DON'T SAY. I thought he was convicted of being a member of the eeeeeeevil administration. No mention behind the real person who outed this "covert" agent, Richard Armitage. Schuster opines that the administration was fearful that Libby was a "ticking time bomb" if he was in jail. What was he going to explode? All of those "lies" that you have already concluded are such? What in god's name are you talking about? Is this the epitome of a "journalist" inserting his opinion about things that have never been said as to be fact? I think so. Embarrassing.
#3: MORE SCOOTER LIBBY. Why did he not actually grant the pardon? Is there something nefarious behind the President leaving the actual conviction intact that Olby believes to his dying breath was warranted? Fat Ass quotes a passage from "Mister" Bush's autobiography where he says he would not replace a jury's verdict. Well, Braniac, did he do that? Did he pardon "Scooter" Libby? No. He didn't. He commuted his jail sentence while leaving the fines, FELONY conviction and probation intact. What is so hard for you to understand about this? The holy jury that convicted Mr. Libby did not give him his sentence, the JUDGE did. Who appoints these judges? The President. Who confirms? The Senate. Who has the constitutional right to commute sentences and pardon people? The President. See the balance of power here? Or does it not play into your vast right wing conspiracy handbook you picked up ThinkProgress? Desperate to find ways to nail the administration, Olby brings in the Perfessor regarding immunity for Mr. Libby so he can testify against the eeeeeeeeeeevil President
Dick Cheney Bush. The Perfessor, who learns from his puppeteer, starts saying Dick Dick DICK DICK. The penis Olbsession has become pervasive. Olby thinks there is a mere "appearance of a quid pro quo." Perfessor surprisingly attacks B.J. Clinton for abusing his pardon power. This will not go down on OlbyPlanet. I doubt we'll see the Perfessor for awhile. Perfessor drops impeachment as a possibility to remedy the appearance of abuse of power. Great Thanks. Another plug.
#2: The Bush Legacy. Regurgitated video from HQ and Andrea Mitchell. Olby, historian, consitutional expert and everything but God, declares President Bush the worst ever.
Keeping Tabs: God of convenient truths. Al Gore received an advanced copy of the final episode of The Sopranos. Wow. My heart skips a beat. Olby fumbles over a German Colonel's name. Someone has the same name as Olbermann! HAR HAR HAR! Plug again.
In the Media Matters minute, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe because his defense minister said something that most historians and veterans of the the Pacific theater in World War II would agree with - using nuclear weapons helped end the war. Would Constitutional expert and historian Oralmann like to opine on the possible casualties of invading the Japanese mainland? Doubtful. The defense minister resigned. What the hell Mr. Abe had to do with this is unclear to me. The guy was a member of his cabinet. He resigned. And....? I guess because he's a member of the same party that Koizumi (an ally of the United States) earns him the nod. OH. NOW I KNOW. It's because the Defense Minister said the war in Iraq was a mistake. So, without any evidence, we should infer he was dismissed rather than resign and that somehow leads all the way back to Mr. Abe. DUH. Silver: Duncan Hunter for supporting Ann Coulter after she was sandbagged on Chrissy Mathews show and maligned for an out of context comment. Everyone seems to think she called for John Edwards to be assassinated - WRONG. She said that if she wanted to say anything negative about him she should say that - just like Bill Maher did about Vice President Cheney and the MSM along with the Laughing Stagehand and lackeys missed. Blue Blog Source: AnAngryDakotaDemocrat. The gold: eeeeeeevil 'neo-con' and "publisher of the right-wing magazine Weekly Standard" for suggesting the reaction of Amb. Joseph Wilson was "ridiculous" along with thinking Americans are ridiculous for disagreeing with commutation. Apparently, this explains why no one ever buys a copy of the Weekly Standard. Hm, I happen to have a subscription! It also has a circulation of 83,000 copies a week. Not bad for a small, intellectual magazine that is above BathTub boy's higher level thinking. Perhaps your smear tactics, use of smear merchants and outright lies is why you continue to see yourself land in fourth place Mr. Edward "Solid Second" R. Olbermann. Blug Blog Source: Media Matters. Oh, and just because he needed one Fox "Noise" mention in there, he throws that in with Mr. Kistrol as he contributes to the network that destroys Olbermahn nightly. We needed one hilarious Fox Noise comment for the evening. Keep it up, Olby, maybe it'll pull you up to third.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's collapsed to a humiliating, painful and otherwise embarrassing #256,400 on amazon.com - HA!, but "Culture Warrior" is #626. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome managed to - wait - it didn't. It's still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,178 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Tuesday's Hour of Spin managed a laughable and typical third place place finish in total viewers as well as that "money demo" Olbsession. Source. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 15 [EXTREME!!!]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
I didn't vote for him, an American once said, "But he's my president, and I hope he does a good job."
*cue eyebrow lift*
That - on this eve of the 4th of July - is the essence of this democracy, in 17 words. And that is what President Bush threw away yesterday in commuting the sentence of Lewis "Scooter" Libby. The man who said those 17 words - improbably enough - was the actor John Wayne. And Wayne, an ultra-conservative, said them, when he learned of the hair's-breadth election of John F. Kennedy instead of his personal favorite, Richard Nixon in 1960.
"I didn't vote for him but he's my president, and I hope he does a good job."
*cue second eyebrow lift*
The sentiment was doubtlessly expressed earlier, but there is something especially appropriate about hearing it, now, in Wayne's voice: The crisp matter-of-fact acknowledgement that we have survived, even though for nearly two centuries now, our Commander-in-Chief has also served, simultaneously, as the head of one political party and often the scourge of all others.
*brief pause, voice tone more forceful*
We as citizens must, at some point, ignore a president's partisanship. Not that we may prosper as a nation, not that we may achieve, not that we may lead the world -but merely that we may function.
But just as essential to the seventeen words of John Wayne, is an implicit trust-a sacred trust: That the president for whom so many did not vote, can in turn suspend his political self long enough, and for matters imperative enough, to conduct himself solely for the benefit of the entire Republic.
Our generation's willingness to state "we didn't vote for him, but he's our president, and we hope he does a good job," was tested in the crucible of history, and earlier than most.
And in circumstances more tragic and threatening. And we did that with which history tasked us.
We enveloped our President in 2001. And those who did not believe he should have been electedâ€”indeed those who did not believe he had been electedâ€”willingly lowered their voices and assented to the sacred oath of non-partisanship.
*sound angry, frustrated*
And George W. Bush took our assent, and re-configured it, and honed it, and shaped it to a razor-sharp point and stabbed this nation in the back with it.
*frustration growing, speaking more quickly*
Were there any remaining lingering doubt otherwise, or any remaining lingering hope, it ended yesterday when Mr. Bush commuted the prison sentence of one of his own staffers.
Did so even before the appeals process was complete; did so without as much as a courtesy consultation with the Department of Justice; did so despite what James Madison - at the Constitutional Convention - said about impeaching any president who pardoned or sheltered those who had committed crimes "advised by" that president; did so without the slightest concern that even the most detached of citizens must look at the chain of events and wonder: To what degree was Mr. Libby told: break the law however you wish - the President will keep you out of prison?
*look down, lips tight, powerful pause - PIVOT NOW*
In that moment, Mr. Bush, you broke that fundamental com-pact between yourself and the majority of this nation's citizens - the ones who did not cast votes for you. In that moment, Mr. Bush, you ceased to be the President of the United States. In that moment, Mr. Bush, you became merely the President of a rabid and irresponsible (furried eyebrow here) corner of the Republican Party. And this is too important a time, Sir, to have a commander-in-chief who puts party over nation.
This has been, of course, the gathering legacy of this Administration. Few of its decisions have escaped the stain of politics. The extraordinary Karl Rove has spoken of "a permanent Republican majority," as if such a thing - or a permanent Democratic majority - is not antithetical to that upon which rests: our country, our history, our revolution, our freedoms.
*switch back to camera 1*
Yet our Democracy has survived shrewder men than Karl Rove. And it has survived the frequent stain of politics upon the fabric of government. But this administration, with ever-increasing insistence and almost theocratic zealotry, has turned that stain into a massive oil spill.
The protection of the environment is turned over to those of one political party, who will financially benefit from the rape of the environment. The protections of the Constitution are turned over to those of one political party, who believe those protections unnecessary and extravagant and quaint.
The enforcement of the laws is turned over to those of one political party, who will swear beforehand that they will not enforce those laws. The choice between war and peace is turned over to those of one political party, who stand to gain vast wealth by ensuring that there is never peace, but only war.
And now, when just one cooked book gets corrected by an honest auditor, when just one trampling of the inherent and inviolable fairness of government is rejected by an impartial judge, when just one wild-eyed partisan is stopped by the figure of blind justice, this President decides that he, and not the law, must prevail.
*haughty voice, pivot again*
I accuse you, Mr. Bush, of lying this country into war.
I accuse you of fabricating in the minds of your own people, a false implied link between Saddam Hussein and 9/11.
I accuse you of firing the generals who told you that the plans for Iraq were disastrously insufficient.
I accuse you of causing in Iraq the needless deaths of 3,586 of our brothers and sons, and sisters and daughters, and friends and neighbors.
I accuse you of subverting the Constitution, not in some misguided but sincerely-motivated struggle to combat terrorists, but to stifle dissent.
I accuse you of fomenting fear among your own people, of creating the very terror you claim to have fought.
I accuse you of exploiting that unreasoning fear, the natural fear of your own people who just want to live their lives in peace, as a political tool to slander your critics and libel your opponents.
I accuse you of handing part of this Republic over to a Vice President who is without conscience, and letting him run roughshod over it.
And I accuse you now, Mr. Bush, of giving, through that Vice President, carte blanche to Mr. Libby, to help defame Ambassador Joseph Wilson by any means necessary, to lie to Grand Juries and Special Counsel and before a court, in order to protect the mechanisms and particulars of that defamation, with your guarantee that Libby would never see prison, and, in so doing, as Ambassador Wilson himself phrased it here last night, of becoming an accessory to the obstruction of justice.
When President Nixon ordered the firing of the Watergate special prosecutor Archibald Cox during the infamous "Saturday Night Massacre" on October 20th, 1973, Cox initially responded tersely, and ominously.
"Whether ours shall be a government of laws and not of men, is now for Congress, and ultimately, the American people."
President Nixon did not understand how he had crystallized the issue of Watergate for the American people.
It had been about the obscure meaning behind an attempt to break in to a rival party's headquarters; and the labyrinthine effort to cover-up that break-in and the related crimes.
*look up from careful thought and reading*
And in one night, Nixon transformed it.
Watergate-instantaneously-became a simpler issue: a President overruling the inexorable march of the law of insisting-in a way that resonated viscerally with millions who had not previously understood - that he was the law.
Not the Constitution. Not the Congress. Not the Courts. Just him.
*Silence. Powerful pause and look downard. Pivot*
Just - Mr. Bush - as you did, yesterday.
*eyebrows raised again*
The twists and turns of Plame-Gate, of your precise and intricate lies that sent us into this bottomless pit of Iraq; your lies upon the lies to discredit Joe Wilson; your lies upon the lies upon the lies to throw the sand at the "referee" of Prosecutor Fitzgerald's analogy. These are complex and often painful to follow, and too much, perhaps, for the average citizen.
But when other citizens render a verdict against your man, Mr. Bush-and then you spit in the faces of those jurors and that judge and the judges who were yet to hear the appeal-the average citizen understands that, Sir.
*growing angry again*
It's the fixed ballgame and the rigged casino and the pre-arranged lottery all rolled into one - and it stinks. And they know it. *forceful anger*
Nixon's mistake, the last and most fatal of them, the firing of Archibald Cox, was enough to cost him the presidency. And in the end, even Richard Nixon could say he could not put this nation through an impeachment.
It was far too late for it to matter then, but as the decades unfold, that single final gesture of non-partisanship, of acknowledged responsibility not to self, not to party, not to â€œbase,â€ but to country, echoes loudly into history. Even Richard Nixon knew it was time to resign
*look up again from deep reading*
Would that you could say that, Mr. Bush. And that you could say it for Mr. Cheney. You both crossed the Rubicon yesterday. Which one of you chose the route, no longer matters. Which is the ventriloquist, and which the dummy (emphasis here), is irrelevant.
But that you have twisted the machinery of government into nothing more than a tawdry machine of politics, is the only fact that remains relevant.
It is nearly July 4th, Mr. Bush, the commemoration of the moment we Americans decided that rather than live under a King who made up the laws, or erased them, or ignored themâ€”or commuted the sentences of those rightly convicted under them - we would force our independence, and regain our sacred freedoms.
We of this time - and our leaders in Congress, of both parties - must now live up to those standards which echo through our history: Pressure, negotiate, impeach - get you, Mr. Bush, and Mr. Cheney, two men who are now perilous to our Democracy, away from its helm.
For you, Mr. Bush, and for Mr. Cheney, there is a lesser task. You need merely achieve a very low threshold indeed. Display just that iota of patriotism which Richard Nixon showed, on August 9th, 1974.
*mouth open wide*
And give us someone - anyone - about whom all of us might yet be able to quote John Wayne, and say, "I didn't vote for him, but he's my president, and I hope he does a good job."
*look down, saddened*
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's the opening spiel to end all opening spiels. If only. Olbermahn bellowed it in his best carnival barker tones: Scooter Libby! Not even one day in prison! Bush respects the jury's verdict, says Olby, "as he ignores it". Another Olbermann Lie. A commutation doesn't change the jury verdict. It wasn't the jury who imposed the sentence. It's an outrage: a "new low". "How can a President ignore public opinion?" Um, did you ever raise that question about the immigration bill, slovenly political hack? It's The White House in Crisis! [Ding!] All this, plus the US attorneys "scandal" [Ding!], the UK terror plotters who "really didn't know how to attack", and Paris Hilton. Oh, and Scooter Libby too! Whew!!
#5: He's "a President who lied us into war", says Keith. What's more, Bush has "henchmen", his Vice-President is "the infamous Dick Cheney", and the Libby case is "the greatest crime of this young century". We know you can find this sort of banter on DailyKos and Democratic Underground, but my God, do people really talk this way in real life? Apparently they do on OlbyPlanet. Remember, Keithy Boy insists he is "not poitically biased". Slippery Shuster cited "most analysts" (the same ones who told him Karl Rove was to be indicted?) and Oralmann said the firestorm will continue for years. Then Slippery came up with one of his trademark bits of spin. What hypocrisy: many Republicans voted to convict Clinton for lying, but they're glad Libby won't do time. Hey Shuster, idiot! Clinton wouldn't have done any time either. Convicting him would not send him to jail. It would mean he would lose his job, which is less punishment than Libby is getting. How can even a sewer dump like A-Mess-NBC keep employing such a quadruply-discredited hack?
Then more flogging, with Olby's Criminal Rehabilitation Program back in session, as felon John Dean piled on by spinning a far-fetched and legally preposterous web of possible future developments. Oh, and Keithy said that Bush "overrided the constitution" (another Olbermann lie--the power comes from the constitution, dunderhead!) and decided that this could be the latest in an ever-lengthening series of "tipping points" [Ding!] and even suggested it could lead to impeachment! Man, the hens at DailyKos are clucking their approval tonight.
After plugging another "Mister" Bush "metaphor" [Ding!], we got #4: Joe Wilson, that eminent truth-teller. Valerie Plame was "torpedoed". Bush is "corrupt to the core". The administration "betrayed its covert officers". (Note: the name of Richard Armitage was never spoken. Not once!) The Congress should "investigate" this commutation. Such demagogic ignorance of the US constitution! Yada yada yada. We predicted that everybody appearing on this show would hold the exact same opinion, and, like Pavlov's dog in a bell-testing factory, Bathtub Boy behaved exactly as expected. A completely one-sided agit-prop commercial for the far-left and the blue blog buffs.
Would you care to take a guess how many times Oralmann has flogged this story? 25? 50? 100? Has he always shown this level of outrage over criminal activity by government officials? Let's play compare. We asked the OlbyWatch Research Division to look up how Bathtub Boy handled the case of Sandy Berger, guilty of stealing classified documents, destroying them, and then lying about it. Pretty heady stuff. And Countdown was on the story! A search of the A-Mess-NBC transcript archives tells us how our favorite left-wing water carrier handled this matter.
On July 23, several days after the Berger story first broke, Olbermahn gets around to mentioning it. But only in passing--just ten words, actually--to introduce a much lengthier report on an investigation into Sen Richard Shelby (R). Yeah, that Shelby investigation really mushroomed into a Big Case, didn't it? More of that vaunted Olbermoronn news judgment.
That was it for Olby's "coverage" until a week later, when Dan Olbermann mentioned Berger for the second time. Why? To let his viewers know that:
It appears that former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger has been cleared of taking original classified documents accidentally or intentionally out of the National Archives.... No apology from House Majority Tom DeLay, who, evoking Watergate, had called the episode a--quote--"third-rate burglary."
Well, that closed the case, right? As it turns out the case was still wide open, everywhere except on OlbyPlanet. The transcript archives turn up no reportage whatsoever about the subsequent investigation, charges, or even Berger's guilty plea! There is one last mention of the case, on Sept 28. No, Keith didn't report anything. Norah O'Donnell mentions Berger's guilty plea in a discussion all about--you guessed it--Republican corruption. If she hadn't been there, viewers of The Hour of Spin might still believe what Olby preposterously claimed months earlier: Berger has been "cleared"! Oh, by the way: no correction, retraction, or apology from Edward R Olbermann. And, we might add, no hyperventilating outrage because Berger only paid a fine. No screeching about what an outrage to justice it is that he got no jail time.
So how does this compare with Oralmann's coverage of the Scooter Libby case? Just how many times did he make this one of the stories you'll be talking about tomorrow? If you guessed 25, 50, or 75, you'd be wrong. 100? You're still low. The transcript search turns up over 125 Countdowns that deal with Scooter Libby. That's roughly a 4000% increase in coverage over that allocated to Berger (D). Factor in the brevity of the three Berger blipverts vs the extended segments with Libby, and the actual percentage will easily extend into five figures. One of these days somebody should look up KO's red-faced outrage over all the pardons of Bill Jefferson Clinton. Somehow we don't recall that at all.
And just in case you think Olbermahn only slants the news on The Hour of Spin, think again. The pathetic Countdown blog splashed the news today with a big, bold headline. The only problem? They lied:
Libby wasn't pardoned; his sentence was reduced. He's still guilty and must pay his fine and do his probation. Just like Sandy Berger (D). Keithy Boy can't even tell the truth on his miserable blog.
But remember, The Hour of Spin is not a propaganda fest. Edward R Olbermann is not politically biased. He treats all sides equally. Yeah, and chickens have lips.
A plug for the "White House in Crisis" [Ding!] and another metaphor [Ding!] led to another plug for The White House in Crisis [Ding!]. Finally #3: It's the "White House in Crisis" [Ding!]. An anchor, a boat, George W Bush, and presto!, another metaphor! [Ding!]. Cips from Pat Leahy (D) re subpoenas. Zero clips from anyone on the other side of the issue. Dana Milbank continued the Libby flogging. Olby invokes Rule #1 and claims Bush "damaged" his Presidency, adding that this increases the need for impeachment. (Yeah, using a constitutional power is a high crime or misdemeanor on OlbyPlanet. Unless your name is BJ Clinton, that is.) KO went on to claim the commutation is an "albatross" that will hurt every GOP candidate in 2008. Right, it will be on everyone's lips from now until the next millennium. It's hard to believe that people actually swallow Olbermoronn's bilge. But judging by the ratings, very few do.
Then Oralmann read--with a straight face--the scathing remarks of Hillary Clinton on the commutation. Because this is The Hour of Spin, and we are on OlbyPlanet, there was zero mention of the pardons doled out by BJ Clinton. Marc Rich, anyone? How about pardoning a pedophile/child abuser? Or the other hundreds. "Journalist" Olbermann wasn't about to mention any of this. He likes that comfy resting place in the Clintons' pocket.
#2: The so-called, reported, putative, ostensible, claimed, unproven, alleged, purported bomb plot. A few words led into a taped report from Lisa Myers. Yep, that was it. Plus Michael Jackson. #1: Paris HIlton
In the Media Matters Minute, Monkeymann made "Mister" Bush the winner: he's "forfeited his claim to be President". "In the name of God, Go!" (Plug for a Special Education Komment tomorrow: Bush and Cheney must resign!! Hahaaaahaaahaaa!!!! LOL!! ROFL!!! Talk about a gnat going after an elephant!!!) Joe Lieberman also got attacked because he favors the government intercepting enemy communications in a time of war. Since Keith doesn't want to give the US that much of an advantage over the terrorists, he gave Joe the bronze. Sean Hannity of Fox "Noise" (that never gets old, does it?) got the silver for allowing his Freedom Concerts to be sponsored by Hong Kong. These concerts raise funds for families of wounded and fallen soldiers, but Dan Olbermann spews ridicule. Why does Keith hate our troops?
Dogs that did not bark: You could have the entire Westminster Dog Show going on tonight and Edward R Olbermahn would ignore it. After all, it's Scooter Libby! It's the White House in Crisis! [Ding!] So what about the "summer spectacular" terror intelligence report that was unearthed by ABC's Brian Ross? Hmm. Not news on OlbyPlanet. Maybe that's because right after Lefty Olby and Crazy Larry declared terrorism was overblown and not a threat, terrorists promptly carried off another attack! Quite an Olbybarrassment. Al Qaeda strikes in Yemen? Yawn. Operation Arrowhead Ripper? Who cares about that? Don't you realize that it's The White House in Crisis? [Ding!]
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a spectacular #10,194 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #645. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is still invisible to the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,163 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Friday night's ratings reflected another triumph for Keith "I have a lock on second place" Olbermann. That is, if coming in 4th is a "triumph". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 9 [SEVERE!]