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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
It's the opening spiel to end all opening spiels. If only. Olbermahn bellowed it in his best carnival barker tones: Scooter Libby! Not even one day in prison! Bush respects the jury's verdict, says Olby, "as he ignores it". Another Olbermann Lie. A commutation doesn't change the jury verdict. It wasn't the jury who imposed the sentence. It's an outrage: a "new low". "How can a President ignore public opinion?" Um, did you ever raise that question about the immigration bill, slovenly political hack? It's The White House in Crisis! [Ding!] All this, plus the US attorneys "scandal" [Ding!], the UK terror plotters who "really didn't know how to attack", and Paris Hilton. Oh, and Scooter Libby too! Whew!!
#5: He's "a President who lied us into war", says Keith. What's more, Bush has "henchmen", his Vice-President is "the infamous Dick Cheney", and the Libby case is "the greatest crime of this young century". We know you can find this sort of banter on DailyKos and Democratic Underground, but my God, do people really talk this way in real life? Apparently they do on OlbyPlanet. Remember, Keithy Boy insists he is "not poitically biased". Slippery Shuster cited "most analysts" (the same ones who told him Karl Rove was to be indicted?) and Oralmann said the firestorm will continue for years. Then Slippery came up with one of his trademark bits of spin. What hypocrisy: many Republicans voted to convict Clinton for lying, but they're glad Libby won't do time. Hey Shuster, idiot! Clinton wouldn't have done any time either. Convicting him would not send him to jail. It would mean he would lose his job, which is less punishment than Libby is getting. How can even a sewer dump like A-Mess-NBC keep employing such a quadruply-discredited hack?
Then more flogging, with Olby's Criminal Rehabilitation Program back in session, as felon John Dean piled on by spinning a far-fetched and legally preposterous web of possible future developments. Oh, and Keithy said that Bush "overrided the constitution" (another Olbermann lie--the power comes from the constitution, dunderhead!) and decided that this could be the latest in an ever-lengthening series of "tipping points" [Ding!] and even suggested it could lead to impeachment! Man, the hens at DailyKos are clucking their approval tonight.
After plugging another "Mister" Bush "metaphor" [Ding!], we got #4: Joe Wilson, that eminent truth-teller. Valerie Plame was "torpedoed". Bush is "corrupt to the core". The administration "betrayed its covert officers". (Note: the name of Richard Armitage was never spoken. Not once!) The Congress should "investigate" this commutation. Such demagogic ignorance of the US constitution! Yada yada yada. We predicted that everybody appearing on this show would hold the exact same opinion, and, like Pavlov's dog in a bell-testing factory, Bathtub Boy behaved exactly as expected. A completely one-sided agit-prop commercial for the far-left and the blue blog buffs.
Would you care to take a guess how many times Oralmann has flogged this story? 25? 50? 100? Has he always shown this level of outrage over criminal activity by government officials? Let's play compare. We asked the OlbyWatch Research Division to look up how Bathtub Boy handled the case of Sandy Berger, guilty of stealing classified documents, destroying them, and then lying about it. Pretty heady stuff. And Countdown was on the story! A search of the A-Mess-NBC transcript archives tells us how our favorite left-wing water carrier handled this matter.
On July 23, several days after the Berger story first broke, Olbermahn gets around to mentioning it. But only in passing--just ten words, actually--to introduce a much lengthier report on an investigation into Sen Richard Shelby (R). Yeah, that Shelby investigation really mushroomed into a Big Case, didn't it? More of that vaunted Olbermoronn news judgment.
That was it for Olby's "coverage" until a week later, when Dan Olbermann mentioned Berger for the second time. Why? To let his viewers know that:
It appears that former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger has been cleared of taking original classified documents accidentally or intentionally out of the National Archives.... No apology from House Majority Tom DeLay, who, evoking Watergate, had called the episode a--quote--"third-rate burglary."
Well, that closed the case, right? As it turns out the case was still wide open, everywhere except on OlbyPlanet. The transcript archives turn up no reportage whatsoever about the subsequent investigation, charges, or even Berger's guilty plea! There is one last mention of the case, on Sept 28. No, Keith didn't report anything. Norah O'Donnell mentions Berger's guilty plea in a discussion all about--you guessed it--Republican corruption. If she hadn't been there, viewers of The Hour of Spin might still believe what Olby preposterously claimed months earlier: Berger has been "cleared"! Oh, by the way: no correction, retraction, or apology from Edward R Olbermann. And, we might add, no hyperventilating outrage because Berger only paid a fine. No screeching about what an outrage to justice it is that he got no jail time.
So how does this compare with Oralmann's coverage of the Scooter Libby case? Just how many times did he make this one of the stories you'll be talking about tomorrow? If you guessed 25, 50, or 75, you'd be wrong. 100? You're still low. The transcript search turns up over 125 Countdowns that deal with Scooter Libby. That's roughly a 4000% increase in coverage over that allocated to Berger (D). Factor in the brevity of the three Berger blipverts vs the extended segments with Libby, and the actual percentage will easily extend into five figures. One of these days somebody should look up KO's red-faced outrage over all the pardons of Bill Jefferson Clinton. Somehow we don't recall that at all.
And just in case you think Olbermahn only slants the news on The Hour of Spin, think again. The pathetic Countdown blog splashed the news today with a big, bold headline. The only problem? They lied:
Libby wasn't pardoned; his sentence was reduced. He's still guilty and must pay his fine and do his probation. Just like Sandy Berger (D). Keithy Boy can't even tell the truth on his miserable blog.
But remember, The Hour of Spin is not a propaganda fest. Edward R Olbermann is not politically biased. He treats all sides equally. Yeah, and chickens have lips.
A plug for the "White House in Crisis" [Ding!] and another metaphor [Ding!] led to another plug for The White House in Crisis [Ding!]. Finally #3: It's the "White House in Crisis" [Ding!]. An anchor, a boat, George W Bush, and presto!, another metaphor! [Ding!]. Cips from Pat Leahy (D) re subpoenas. Zero clips from anyone on the other side of the issue. Dana Milbank continued the Libby flogging. Olby invokes Rule #1 and claims Bush "damaged" his Presidency, adding that this increases the need for impeachment. (Yeah, using a constitutional power is a high crime or misdemeanor on OlbyPlanet. Unless your name is BJ Clinton, that is.) KO went on to claim the commutation is an "albatross" that will hurt every GOP candidate in 2008. Right, it will be on everyone's lips from now until the next millennium. It's hard to believe that people actually swallow Olbermoronn's bilge. But judging by the ratings, very few do.
Then Oralmann read--with a straight face--the scathing remarks of Hillary Clinton on the commutation. Because this is The Hour of Spin, and we are on OlbyPlanet, there was zero mention of the pardons doled out by BJ Clinton. Marc Rich, anyone? How about pardoning a pedophile/child abuser? Or the other hundreds. "Journalist" Olbermann wasn't about to mention any of this. He likes that comfy resting place in the Clintons' pocket.
#2: The so-called, reported, putative, ostensible, claimed, unproven, alleged, purported bomb plot. A few words led into a taped report from Lisa Myers. Yep, that was it. Plus Michael Jackson. #1: Paris HIlton
In the Media Matters Minute, Monkeymann made "Mister" Bush the winner: he's "forfeited his claim to be President". "In the name of God, Go!" (Plug for a Special Education Komment tomorrow: Bush and Cheney must resign!! Hahaaaahaaahaaa!!!! LOL!! ROFL!!! Talk about a gnat going after an elephant!!!) Joe Lieberman also got attacked because he favors the government intercepting enemy communications in a time of war. Since Keith doesn't want to give the US that much of an advantage over the terrorists, he gave Joe the bronze. Sean Hannity of Fox "Noise" (that never gets old, does it?) got the silver for allowing his Freedom Concerts to be sponsored by Hong Kong. These concerts raise funds for families of wounded and fallen soldiers, but Dan Olbermann spews ridicule. Why does Keith hate our troops?
Dogs that did not bark: You could have the entire Westminster Dog Show going on tonight and Edward R Olbermahn would ignore it. After all, it's Scooter Libby! It's the White House in Crisis! [Ding!] So what about the "summer spectacular" terror intelligence report that was unearthed by ABC's Brian Ross? Hmm. Not news on OlbyPlanet. Maybe that's because right after Lefty Olby and Crazy Larry declared terrorism was overblown and not a threat, terrorists promptly carried off another attack! Quite an Olbybarrassment. Al Qaeda strikes in Yemen? Yawn. Operation Arrowhead Ripper? Who cares about that? Don't you realize that it's The White House in Crisis? [Ding!]
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a spectacular #10,194 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #645. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is still invisible to the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,163 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Friday night's ratings reflected another triumph for Keith "I have a lock on second place" Olbermann. That is, if coming in 4th is a "triumph". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 9 [SEVERE!]