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Host: Keith Olbermann
Another deranged ranting of the opening spiel: a fresh attack on Richard McCain, Hillary and Edwards and an open mic, conspiracy about leaks, an attack on Fox "Noise" (that's still a knee-slapper, ain't it?), Paris Hilton... Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. None of this can compare with the special Dogs That Did Not Bark segment we have for you. Olbermann exposed once again as a slovenly political hack who hates our troops. But first we'll have to dispose of tonight's Hour of Spin. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: After a reference to the "actual lame-duck President", "Mister" Bush, the formal attack on John McCain began. Not content with reporting on the financial and campaign problems plaguing McCain, Monkeymann upped the ante, presuming to correct him on his historical references and referring to him with demeaning insults. Only Olby would dare to smear a decorated Prisoner of War, but then again, if this were 1974, Olby would be Jane Fonda. Dana Milbank, lacking lurid livery, served up his typical prattle, echoing Olbermahn's claim that he knows the facts of the war better than McCain. Yes, because of all of Krazy Keith's visits there. We can just picture him in Saddam's bathtub. Executive privilege again. Great thanks.
Next up: the Dems. The open-mic incident, where Hill and Edwards were overheard at the end of the NAACP event yesterday plotting to freeze out people from future debates. In a high point of moonbattery, Krazy Keith blamed "Fox Noise" (that never gets old!) for leaving the mics open at the NAACP event. (Hey, Keith. Fox is controlling the weather too. It's all another trick of the eevil Bush/Murdoch/Jeff Foxworthy Crime Syndicate!) Needless to say Dennis Kucinich was outraged. Olbermann's Brain chortled onto the stage to echo Herr Olbermann that this didn't do Hill or John any harm, and maybe they have a good idea after all, and B.J. Clinton is such a "rock star", yada yada yada. Could anyone be more in Hillary's pocket than Edward R Olbermoronn? Executive privilege again! Many thanks.
#4: Al Qaeda in Iraq isn't really Al Qaeda. Then there's Al Qaeda in America--how will Olbermahn pooh-pooh this? Oh, he'll get Tyler, a favorite of the blue blogs, to do it for him. Aren't the leaks about Al Qaeda a trick to distract from, what is it this time, oh, right, Chertoff's "gut"? Oh yeah, it's possible. (Most things are.) It's all designed to prop up the war in Iraq. Stop using intelligence as a political tool, says the CIA man who has donated exclusively to Democrat federal candidates. It's "fear", says Fat Ass, and Tyler blames--guess who?--the Prez! Another shocker from OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
Oddball again focused on the running of the bulls, but Krazy Keith did not repeat his gender-confusion ("cows"?) of yesterday. He really has to stop hanging around with the creepy Michael Musto. Then #3: Barry Bonds, steroids, and Scooter Libby. A taped piece ran that might or might not have been cribbed from Bathtub Boy's recent cameo appearance on the mothership.
#2: Airplane close calls (regurgitated from the network mothership), plus Harry Potter, Jordin Sparks (wherein KO made fun of a relationship with a gap of 6 years...there's no shortage of chutpah on OlbyPlanet). #1: Paris Hilton with the disturbing Michael Musto, but we're boycotting his segments. We don't want to pick up any of that gender confusion that seems to have infected Krazy Keith. Media Matters Minute: two Republicans, no Democrats.
Dogs that did not bark: Tonight another special investigation into Olbermann's slanting of the news, lying by omission to smear not only "Mister" Bush and his "un-American" adminsitration, but U.S. troops as well. The topic: Haditha. The case has been flogged by Rev Olbermann since the allegations first surfaced. He has insisted that, compared to the My Lai massacre, "there is a bigger ceiling for potential political impact with Haditha". Olbermann suggested that it wasn't really an isolated incident, and traced responsibility straight back to Rumsfeld. He used "preliminary findings" to declare that US marines "murdered two dozen innocent civilians". And on and on. We found seventeen separate entries in the MSDNC transcript bank where Edward R Olbermann fulminated about this incident. He even claimed John Murtha had been vindicated for calling the soldiers cold-blooded murderers, even though none of whom at that point had even been charged.
For all of Edward R Olbermann's flogging of this story, there was a recent development that, oddly, received no mention from the carrot-complexioned commentator. It turns out that the case against yet another of the young men accused in this incident is so weak that the it will likely be dismissed. It's "unsupported", propped up with "unreliable witnesses", and contrary to the "clear and convincing evidence". All of a sudden, the Haditha story has dropped off the radar on OlbyPlanet. Not a word from Herr Olbermann (or, for that matter, from Judge Murtha). In the world of Keith Olbermann, this American soldier remains guilty of "murder", and if the evidence says otherwise, so what? Olby will simply refuse to report it!
Why does Keith Olbermann hate our troops?
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Bathtub Boy's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox and "right-wing" pundits eleven times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC six times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -22 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name soared to #3,721 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,069. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains buried below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,173 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, Fat Ass finally crept back into that hallowed spot that he supposedly rules. Yes, for the first time all this week, he eked out second place in the all-important, coveted, superior, supreme, much-beloved "key demo". Gee, can he make it two in a row, or will the O'Kasich Factor again eat his lunch? Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]