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Host: Keith Olbermann
KO served up an anemic opening spiel: the AG is corrupt, the President is a liar, and Keith's favorite felon explains it all. Plus Tillman, Harry Potter, and the usual dregs of OlbyPlanet. Just right for casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "House of Scandal". Gonzales "lied", the White House is "trying to claim", and it's all "parsing". Obligatory clip of Tony Snow vs the tonsorially-enhanced David Gregory. Keith Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program held another meeting with its star pupil, John Dean. "They" don't want the truth out. The criminal contradicted himself within the space of 60 seconds (Gonzo can't avoid perjury, except that he can). Oralmann wanted to know if Tony Snow (Olby's self-proclaimed "friend") is about to become like Nixon's [Ding!] press secretary. Flashback to Watergate [Ding!] and Nixon [Ding!].
More on Pat Tillman. Maybe he was murdered. Unless he wasn't. Maybe Cheney did it. Possibly on orders from Halliburton and Bill O'Reilly. Lefty Soltz said it's all a lie and it was homicide. What's more, it's "the fault of our President". Olbermahn even cooked up the motive: Tillman was a John Kerry supporter. Yes! Yes! It was Cheney, Halliburton, and O'Reilly!! Another scoop for Edward R Olbermann. Onscreen graphic: "Mr Bush's Casualties".
#4: Question: how many astronauts does it take to fly the space shuttle? Answer: three and a fifth. Recycled video from NBC. #3: The seemingly endless Harry Potter interview continued, i.e. another rerun from the network. #2: The Simpsons movie (this too regurgitated from NBC--Dan Olbermann is really phoning it in tonight), plus Nicole Ritchie. #1: Lindsay Lohan and other hard news. Where's Michael Musto?
In the Media Matters Minute, sure enough, Bathtub Boy once again fed his all-consuming Olbsession. Before attacking Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: The Carpetbagger Report) and his "hatred of Mexicans" (i.e. he supports enforcing immigration laws), it was yet another salvo against the eeevil O'Reilly (Blue Blog Source: Crooks & Liars). What, do these come nightly now? Apparently so. Since DailyKos has decided to make it a crusade, Herr Olbermann leaps to rally the jihadists. And of course, another smear of Mr Bill means Olbermahn lied again: "He then ordered Miss Hall's microphone cut off." There's really no argument about this one. O'Reilly said no such thing. Where did Oralmann get the idea that he did? He made it up! (Tip: that's why he didn't show the video!...click on 'media hero' to watch) In other words, Another Olbermann Lie.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over the past week Monkeymann has attacked Fox or "right-wing" pundits 12 times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC five times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -24 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is a stunning #11,641 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #815. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains mired below the ranking radar at Barnes & Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,330 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann continued his "lock on second place" by finishing third yet again in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]