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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Krazy Keith pleasured us with a limp opening spiel this eve. Election 2008! Hillary Clinton vs. Karl Rove? Will he be behind the equivalent of the "'08 swift boat slanderers and heading the anti-Hillary forces?" Ah, non-partisan Keith. Ever graceful. That explains him calling her a fatally flawed candidate! Cue romanticised music with Mrs. Clinton talking about people lacking health care. Bipartisan! The "President's Brain" [Ding!] is missing. What kind of brains would suggest a draft? It is on the table. Toy recall. Ever classy Keith doing another K-Fed story and some dude with duct tape! Awesome!
#5: The Tan Man was wound up and ready to come to the rescue of his fellow Democrats. The "New Hillary." Clinton vs. Rove. Worries that Clinton is a divisive candidate. Clip of the Senator in a softball interview with Andrea Mitchell. Keith gives free air time to a Clinton political ad with the dramatic, heartening music. The Senator says people aren't invisible to her like they to the current President. The FULL ad plays. Oh, our man Keith gives the Republican side, which means ATTACKING IT like RABID DOGS (my words - the inflection in his voice). Quote from Deputy White House Press Secretary saying it's an offensive ad which is deemed an "attack" by Man on Fan Olbermann. Bring in Lawrence O'Donnell to join the save Hillary Clinton from the vast right wing conspiracy brigade. The perfect playmate for Keith and his sandbox. Discussion of Hillary's high unfavorables but they can be turned around. "She's done it before." "Very unusual to do but done before." "I know people who changed their minds and voted for her." "She probably won't make mistakes." Keithy turns it back to "Mister Rove." Disbelief from Keith that "George W. Bush" was elected TWICE. Is Mrs. Clinton running a campaign against George W. Bush? The White House has served her well, says O'Donnell! He also thinks that the White House is trying to prevent her from getting the nomination. Huh? Then why on earth would they call her "fatally flawed"? If they believed that, they want her as the nominee! Or maybe it's another Konspiracy I don't get.
Bring in another sock puppet, Eugene Robinson of The Washington Post. KARL ROVE. KARL ROVE. KARL ROVE. KARL ROVE. What is Karl Rove going to be doing in the '08 campaign, asks Keith. Clip of Rove rapping. With David Gregory. Democrats relish at running against Karl Rove and George W. Bush - Robinson. Rove thinks he is history's gift to the Republican Party - Keith. "Would any Republican nominee say Karl Rove doesn't speak for the Republican party, doesn't speak for me?" Wow. This all sounds like Karl Rove is a swell guy that Keith has not passed any judgement on. Robinson doesn't think any Republican will bring him on because you are "saddling" yourself with the "George Bush presidency." Which, to Mr. Robinson, means Iraq, immigration, all the things the administration "got wrong." So let me get this straight.....Karl Rove is behind the Iraq war.....interesting *strokes chin.* Since both Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama would be "historic" Presidents if they won, Robinson can't imagine any Republican running on a platform of bigotry. I always knew it, but I needed the TV to tell me! Republicans HATE women and they HATE minorities. Too bad they can't be open about it. Sheesh. Karl Rove can "hint" at that essentially, bigotry that is, if he helped out a candidate. '08 will be like William McKinley (Keith pretends to know who he is) and Joe McCarthy coming back from the grave to campaign against whoever the Democrats nominate. OBVIOUSLY. Eugene laughs. Great thanks. Another pillar of the far-right, Dennis Hastert HA! is going to retire.
#4: The military draft and Vietnam. Babble about the draft. Military barely met its recruitman goals. Bring in Konspiracy theorist Jon Soltz (shocker). The military is issuing a "warning" to the President with the discussions about the draft over the "broken military" caused by the administration. Congressman Rangel wants the draft to come back because only "poor people" are fighting it "unlike Mitt Romney's sons." Video of burning draft cards. Lots more clips of hippies. The "President is a lame duck President when his 'brain' left the White House," says Soltz. I can hear Keith groan in pleasure - seriously. Keith doubts the success of the surge - what does Soltz think? Hm, I wonder. He thinks it's whack-a-mole! Funny, I saw that same headline on DailyKos today! What a coinicidence. Great thanks.
Whoah! Mention of Don Imus! Nothing to see here...
Shocker! Alert! Keith makes a perverted joke! William Hearst was expected to die with "rosebud on his lips!" Get it? Do ya? Because I do and it's a knee-slapper! Nothing like the usual Oralmann references to genitalia! Oddball: Four pandas born. Jesus on a kitchen cabinet. Caption "Holy Hardwood." Get it? Do ya! Because I do! Perv!
Newsmakers: Woman at karaoke at Changes bar. Dumb criminal wears a mop. Deputy Mike Moore pulls over his wife. Keith throws paper.
#3: Tainted toys. Regurgitated video of camera talking to Keith.
#2: Must be really hard for Keith to get guests tonight. The Duct-Taped Bandit! Regurgitated video again.
Keeping Tabs: Keith actually mentions "NBC" (not MSNBC) and Don Imus vis a vis a lawsuit against Mr. Imus. RIP Phil Rizzuto. Oh, and no surprise, he watched Coutdown every night. Classy, Fat Ass.
#1: K-Fed vs. Britney. Yawn.
In the Media Matters minute, bronze to Bill Schine of "Fox Noise" (LOL!) for writing a memo casting doubt on the 1/2 News Hour's continuation. Why WPITW? Uh, I don't know. He wrote a memo. Oh wait, here it comes. Keith thought it was terrible and so unfunny that the pretend news anchors wouldn't even use their real names. Canned laughter too. Blug Blog Source: TVNewser. Silver: Police Chief Paul Haines defending an officer who pulled over a car speeding to the emergency room and gave a ticket to a guy with a nail in his head. Winner, John Gibson! Poor Gibby, Bathtub Boy must be getting really agitated with someone who actually IS a journalist pointing out every laughable aspect of Jabba. Keith is REALLY angry (or so he seems). MediaMatters helped Olbermahn as usual. Thanks to J$, I'll let Gibson speak for himself:
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's struggled at humiliating, painful and otherwise embarrassing #16,293 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #4,021. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,561 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Monday's Hour of Spin pulled in an unusual and impressive second in the "key demo" as well as overall. Source. Worth mentioning that Mr. Bill's money demo nearly double Olby's. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]