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Host: Keith Olbermann
Yes, Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: Bush will write the Petraeus report, it's "three-card monte" from the White House, Obama criticizes Hillary (uh-oh, you don't want to do that on OlbyPlanet), O.J. Simpson, the iPhone, an O'Reilly attack, and more. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: It's "deceit, greed, falsehood, and failure", said Olby quoting Marcus Aurelius. The Petraeus report will be delievered by the President. Outrage! (Blue Blog Source: The Carpetbagger Report). The report has "no credibility", intoned Monkeymann without the troublesome bother of reading it first, while Olbermann's Brain chortled and snickered, sounding more than ever like the illegitimate child of Pat Robertson and Floyd the Barber. Next up was Crowley, from the Soros-funded mouthpiece for the Democrat party (though of course that wasn't disclosed; it never is on OlbyPlanet). He delivered, claiming that any soldiers who don't commit suicide in Iraq come home with post-traumatic maladies that will haunt them for years. Crowley didn't get Great Thanksed, but he did get Great Pleasured.
#4: Obama claims to be a uniter. That's permissible, but then he went and said he could do it better than Hillary. Uh-oh, he's asking for trouble from Sheriff Oralmann. Mention of Bush's Brain [Ding!] and "comedian Rush Limbaugh". Olby praised Hillary's strategy, then asked Anne Kornblut wasn't Obama being divisive in saying he would be a better President than Hillary? Anne hid her amusement at this fatuous question and tried to explain to KO this is "mild stuff". But Herr Olbermann wouldn't let it go, complaining that Barack dared to opine that immigrants should learn English. Slap him in irons! Reference to Fox Noise. [Ding!] Great Thanks.
#3: O.J. Simpson Book controversy (lengthy regurgitated clips from the network mothership). #2: iPhone bills, confusingly described by Krazy Keith as "iPod bills" (gotta love that "future of tv news" Olbermahn!), plus K-Fed, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan. #1: We're not really alive; we're just characters in somebody's computer game. If this sounds familiar, it's because the concept has been used in science-fiction stories for at least half a decade. But to Edward R Olbermahn it's a "startling" new theory! Not to mention an opportunity to ridicule "the intelligent design folks".
In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy mentioned Mike Nifong ("your dog ate your law license" he quipped, not bothering to note that he swiped that headline from The Smoking Gun). Then he picked on a more usual target--a conservative: Melanie Morgan; lifted from the usual place (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters); livened up with the usual personal attacks and name calling ("right-wing water carrier", "empty-headed").
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is near-invisible at #34,132 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,897. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains so low that the Barnes & Noble ranking meter can't even find it; O'Reilly's book is #1,553 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Tuesday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann eked out a second place finish for the second night in a row, but he still lost overwhelmingly to his nemesis, the eeevil O'Reilly, both in total viewers and in the coveted, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".