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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Another opening, another spiel: the Utah Mine Disaster, the fault of the Bush administration; the latest Rudy attack; a Cheney clip from 2000, and more. We'll have our usual recap plus a special bonus audio clip. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: The mine owner contributed money to Republican candidates. Aha! Time to do a hit piece on him. The phrase of the day: "seismic activity". NBC's George Lewis in a Countdown rarity: a live remote. Oralmann wanted to know if people were angry at the mine owner. Well, no they aren't. Next came anti-coal, global warming activist Goodell. Monkeymann demanded to know why they even tried to rescue the six miners with all the "seismic activity", and why it took so long for them to stop trying to rescue them. (The families of those miners must be loving this!) JG said they had to try a rescue, but immediately swerved into Olby terrority: oversight, the "appalling" Richard Stickler. Oh, by the way, Stickler? Keith said he should--you guessed it--"resign"! Edward R Olbermann again reminded his handful of viewers that the mine owner gave donations to Republicans, and that these connections caused people to die. Yep, the mine collapse is the Republicans' fault too. Can a Special Education Komment about "Mister" Bush and six trapped miners (whom Keith doesn't want to rescue) be in the works?
#4: Giuliani has "delusions of grandeur". Yep, it's time for Project Rudy: take out Hillary's strongest opponent. Giuliani as "America's Mayor"? An "urban legend", according to Edward R Olbermoronn. Plus, for the umpteenth time, did you know his daughter likes Obama? Rudy's 9/11 experience is just "a photo-op". Cillizza said more scrutiny for the front-runner is expected. Hmm, where is that scrutiny of Hillary on OlbyPlanet? Must be out on one of the moons. Oh and Tony Snow may be leaving the White House soon. Rev Olbermahn sermonized that given the "great respect" for Snow, this will be a terrible blow for the administration. Oh really? Like the great respect you've shown him all this time (e.g. "Snow Job", "worst person", etc)? But you have to find some way to make this news as bad as possible for "Mister" Bush, so you invent "great respect" that you never displayed, not even for one nanosecond. Liar.
#3: A Cheney clip from 1994 (Blue Blog Source: moveon.org) and Cheney clip from 2000 (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). A veritable Blue Blogapalooza! Proof that Cheney "pitched lies" to get us into Iraq. Cue John Nichols of the far-left (though not identified as such) Nation magazine, also, just by coincidence, an advertiser on The Hour of Spin. Incestuous Amplification brought to a new level! Nichols: Dick has no "humanity" and we've buried "3500 children". Yes, on OlbyPlanet US troops are children--except when they are cold-blooded murderers (tm J Murtha). Great thanks.
#2: "Jimmy Justice", the meter maid's nemesis (regurgitated video from NBC), Michael Vick, Paris Hilton. #1: Air guitar championships.
In the Media Matters Minute, it was time to re-attack Melanie Morgan (conservative) in what Bathtub Boy falsely claimed was a "rare" second nomination (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Yeah, tell that to O'Reilly. "Man on Fan" Olbermahn was on his high horse because Melanie said OlbyPlanet fave Jon Soltz is a "cockroach" who should be "stomped on". Call the police! Throw her in irons! Incitement to violence!! That language is not permitted on OlbyPlanet, unless it's being used by, oh, say, Olbermann's Brain. Then it's not even reported on OlbyPlanet.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this week Monkeymann attacked Fox or other broadcasters 11 times. His primary source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC nine times, but Olby protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -22 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is all but entombed: #24,522 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,323. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome remains so low that the Barnes & Noble ranking meter can't even find it; O'Reilly's book is #1,603 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday, Herr Olbermoronn continued a better-than-average week, thanks to some of his competitors not being on the air. But the discredited baseball card collector, as always, lost overwhelmingly to The Factor, and was only able to finish in third place, though he did narrowly edge a substitute anchor on CNN for second in the coveted, all-important, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".
The MisterMeter had the night off, and in its place, we offer the latest from John Gibson, who discusses Joe Scarborough, Jon Stewart, and--of course--Bathtub Boy: