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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
What will Keith bark at me tonight? The Bathroom Tapes are released! "Tales from the toilet." Will he quit? Will he sink the Republicans? If they force him to, will that sink the Republicans? "Cooking the Books" - GAO report leaked! How dare anyone leak anything! Except things critical of evil Republicans. Senator John Edwards and co. criticize Hillary Clinton - sacrament! Fred Thompson and Britney Spears - she forgot her pants! Whoopee!
#5: Larry Craig (R) and "Republican BUTT covering" (Get it? hehe BUTT! Like something a homosexual might engage in! OH YOU CLEVER LACKEYS). Audiotape of said Senator Larry Craig in the toilet. The chorus grows calling him to resign. Krazy Keith can't wait to play the tape - he's excited. He can hardly contain himself at the playing of this tape of dirty stuff in a bathroom. Minutes pass by of this stuff that is not really necessary to make the story. But on OlbyPlanet anything that is bad for Republicans is worth playing in full. Great Thanks, Dana Milbank in boring attire. "Grand Old Potty" caption. Get it? hehe - GOP! HILARIOUS! Milbank agrees with the Sgt. that we're all "headed down the tubes" because of Craig's lying. Whenever there's an opportunity, take it. Analysis of Craig's various defenses. David Vitter (R) mention because no one called for his resignation (nevermind the fact it happened before he was a Senator and was never convicted of anything). Milbank calls it the Foley (R) "hangover." Milbank speculates that the ONLY people turning on Craig are "vulnerable" Republicans; like Mitch McConnell? Clip of Tom DeLay talking to unbiased Matt Lauer. Fat Ass cackles at Milbank's statement that we should be "thankful" that we have Tom DeLay to come back at times like this in our nation's history. Clever. Wit is plentiful on Countdown. Bob Ney (R) and Duke Cunnigham (R) mentions. Great Thanks again.
#4: OlbyPlanet "Reality on the Ground" aka what the Laughing Stagehand writes for the teleprompter. "Strikingly negative" report on what's going on on the ground. Unbiased Keith says the White House is watering down the report. GAO leak = good. Supposed leak of Valerie Plame's nonexistant covert status = bad. Fired Gen. Wesley Clark, great thanks for some of your time, says Olbermahn. Keith's first question is "exactly right" according to Gen. Clark. Stunning. Benchmarks confirm what's really happening - nevermind all the evil WPITW who say otherwise, NIE, Democratic Senators like Carl Levin, etc. Gen. Clark lays a smack on Joe Lieberman (Independent - D) alone for basically stopping the Senate from doing anything. Since he's no longer a total (D), better criticise him as much as possible. God forbid he doesn't tow the DailyKos line. The administration is "hiding behind Gen. Petraeus." Brit Hume is in a "position to know" about a funding request. Apparently, that means that either Brit Hume is a vastly more respected and talented journalist than the discredited baseball card collector, or he is a Republican hack. I imagine the Laughing Stagehand would say the latter, but I believe the former. Great thanks.
Oddball: Someone takes off his clothes to steal beer. Really strong teeth pull train. Karl Rove spent seven years "punking the nation" while someone punked him. No one cares about Fred Thompson, supposedly.
Newsmakers: Some Scottish teen speeds. Tag is banned. Leona's housekeeper.
#3: Countdown to 2008. Fred Thompson entering the race. Sheriff Olbermann comes in to regulate Sen. John Edwards and his cancer stricken wife who criticised Senator Clinton. Mrs. Edwards agrees that Senator Clinton as a candidate will drum up "right wing fringe hatred." Bring back Reverend Ana Marie Cox and ultimate arbiter of who is Christian. Karl Rove is evil. Keith thinks Ms. Cox's analogy - whatever it is - is on the money. Un huh. Ana Marie Cox essentially states, in this writer's opinion, that Mr. and Mrs. Edwards are "going for broke" (Ana's words) because she is implicitly dying. So, from what I gather on Hauptmann's program, Mrs. Edwards "inoperable cancer" (aka, she's going to die) coupled with "going for broke" means break out the big guns and evil slanderous lies because they want to have a "life they're proud of" and "thinking long term." Horrifying. "They don't care" if they win or not. I wonder why in her view. John Edwards "colors in the lines" according to Fat Ass and he tried to "reign him in" during the non-debate debate (! according to Olby) but was told off by Edwards when he said "I'm finishing this." Bashing of Edwards for taking money from evil Rupert Murdoch's company. Olby doesn't understand a poll as usual. It does not meet with OlbySpin because Edwards leads in Iowa; not Clinton! Great Thanks.
#2: Princess Diana regurgitated video.
Keeping Tabs: Letterman going on Oprah. Owen Wilson's attempted suicide. Keith plugs himself on Sunday Night Football. Faith Hill sings songs. Another plug for himself.
#1: Paul F. Thompkins on Britney Spears pseudo nudity.
In the Media Matters minute, someone in Bud Selig's office regarding uniform tops. Something baseball related. Silver to "Fixed Noise" [Ding!] for horrible attacks on Katie Couric vis a vis ThinkProgress. Apparently, it's horrible to question whether or not a woman whose children have already lost their father should go to a dangerous place like Iraq. Katie Couric herself said she wasn't going there - a year ago - because of the danger. Hm. Jon Porter over something about Iraq thanks to TalkingPointsMemo.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olberman's name reached into the heaves and managed #31,873 at amazon.com, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,039. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is below the radar at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,803 there. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]