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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the last opening spiel of the week: Craig will resign, Snow in two weeks, plug for the felon, Diana remembered, and a rerun (!) of the Craig dramatization. Yes, that is as boring as it sounds. So to spice things up, more dogs that did not bark, and our weekly assessment of the discredited baseball collector's masculinity. It's Casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Craig will resign, so let's bring up a charge from 25 years ago against the "belligerantly far right" Craig, one dismissed as groundless by a committee headed by Joe Califano (D), and recanted by the accuser. This is The Hour of Spin, after all. The accuser's lawyer thinks the accuser might have been truthful. Would that be truthful when he accused, or truthful when he recanted? No matter, any smear in an OlbyPlanet storm. Cillizza didn't take that bait. Great thanks. Next: Milbank, absent audacious accoutrements. Monkeymann relied on rule #1 (whatever happens, it's bad for Republicans) by claiming getting Craig to quit is "self-defeating". It's the fault of "the right" for "injecting shame and criminality" into sexual orientation. Protesting a little too much there, Bathtub Boy? Re Tony "Snow Job" (tm K Olbermoronn) Krazy Keith was all fake sympathy, claiming this was a "great loss"--after having attacked him for months. Olbypocrisy exemplified. Oh, and the new press gal will probably be "overmatched" according to Fat Ass. Great thanks.
#4: Craig will resign, so Olbermann's Criminal Rehabilitation Program meets again, with its star patient, John Dean. How ironic: a felon commenting on a Senator who only committed a misdemeanor. KO brings up Vitter (R), Stevens (R), Craig (R)... yeah, we are on OlbyPlanet. The criminal parroted Olby's description of Republican senators as "lame ducks" who are preventing "checks and balances", then incongruously adds that back in the Bill Jefferson Clinton years they were "abusive" for "beating up" on B.J. Only (R) Presidents deserve to be checked and balanced, according to the disbarred lawyer. He was both Great Thanksed and Great Pleasured.
After a reference to Nixon [Ding!] Olbermoronn bragged about ratings, using unpublished numbers that can't be verified, inflating them with DVR use, and using an all-new coveted, critical, all-important "key demo" that suddenly replaced the previous coveted, critical, all-important "key demo" that Krazy Keith has trumpeted in the past. Plus two references to "Fox Noise" [Ding!] [Ding!]. Update: No, I'm informed that the "key demo" KO referred to was the same one he has been using all along (25-54). So The Hour of Spin did edge out The O'Kasich Factor in that demo, inflated with DVR users. We said that was his purpose for working on what is normally an off-week. Olby also got a bump in total viewers but, alas, lagged far behind The O'Kasich Factor there. So props to Bathtub Boy for beating (that wasn't exactly beating) Mr Bill (who wasn't Mr Bill).
#3: Did you know, Craig is going to resign? He repeated yet again the "breaking news" of tomorrow's announcement in Butte, Idaho. Yes, he said Butte. Damn those producers, why couldn't they put "Boise" on the teleprompter? On to Iraq with The Wolffe Man, who simpered about how Petraeus was interviewed by a Murdoch [Ding!]owned Australian newspaper. Mr Merkle wondered "who is supposed to believe this?" (a better question for the previous segment). Great thanks.
#2: Craig will resign--jeez, how many times is the guy going to resign anyhow? Plus Princess Diana, #1: Craig will resign. (AAAIIIEEEEE! Make It Stop!!!!) Then that marvelous dramatization of the Craig arrest is regurgitated. Um, so does this make Olby's Craig (R) coverage quadruple what he did about rest-stop roamer Jim McGreevey (D), or just triple? To end The Hour of Spin: Breaking News! Craig will resign.
In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy decided to pick on the US military (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress). But the "worst" honor was reserved for Tom DeLay (R) (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, the guys Olbermahn raises money for). Cackled Keith to Tom: "At least I'm still in politics". Whoaaaa. How did that slip out? Here we thought he said he had no rooting interest in the outcome of elections, and now he admits what we've said all along: he's a slovenly political hack.
Quiescent canines: It's day three of a scandal touching a top Democrat Presidential candidate, a scandal so major that it has received day after day of front page coverage in both the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. So why, for the third day in a row, has this story been totally spiked by Edward R Olbermann? Why the news blackout on OlbyPlanet? Because it's a (D) scandal, and more specifically a (D) scandal that involves Hillary Clinton. Herr Olbermann will go to any lengths to protect his candidate, including censoring any news not favorable to her. Yes, Keith Olbermann is a left-wing water carrier.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 12 times. But of course he completely avoided the controversy that erupted over Tucker Carlson and Dan Abrams. Bathtub Boy's primary source (Media Matters) mounted a crusade of criticism at Carlson, but Edward R Olbermahn has remained silent. In total this week, Olby's source criticized MSNBC 12 times, and again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -24 [really, really limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#26,919, while "Culture Warrior" is #5,103. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the dud OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,803 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]