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On his radio program Friday night, constitutional attorney Mark Levin went nuclear on Krazy Keith's primary smear source: Media Matters. Dr Levin explained why it is a "criminal enterprise" (he was not speaking metaphorically), and also had harsh words for Joe Scarborough plus, of course, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann:
Entertainer Patrice Oneal appeared on the John Gibson show Friday night. The discussion dealt with the O'Reilly Harlem controversy, and then John played the notorious "chicken and waffles" tape...
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The last opening spiel of the week: Limbaugh and "phony soldiers", Elizabeth Edwards (D), Bill Clinton (D), and--surprise--Bill O'Reilly! Yawn. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill anyone? We've got a special Dogs That Did Not Bark, a bonus audio clip, and our weekly assessment of Keith Olbermann's masculinity. Pretty good lineup for a casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: We know what the top story was all about: an eeevil pseudo-conservative magazine criticizing Petraeus, and more so: eeevil Rush calling antiwar troops "phony soldiers" (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters)! The first involves a fringe magazine ("The American Conservative") that in fact has always been opposed to the Iraq War. In other words, they are Keithy's soulmates. In fact, he has had their writers on The Hour of Spin, and more than once! Funny he didn't mention that tonight.
As reported first on Olbermann Watch, Rev Olbermahn's favorite source used a carefully edited snippet from Limbaugh that deliberately left out his following words, where he specifically spoke of Jesse Macbeth as an example of a "phony soldier". Macbeth was a phony soldier, not to mention an adjudicated liar and fraud. Details of this smear at The Radio Equalizer. And here John Gibson lays it all out with the audio proof:
Needless to say, Mr Merkle raised no objections to Brock's Boys slicing up Limbaugh's quote. Because--hey!--doctored quotes are The Hour of Spin's stock-in-trade, like these:
Olbermann repeatedly lied, as in stating that Limbaugh's "original" quote was that "service members who advocate US withdrawal from Iraq are phony soldiers". See, Fat Ass doesn't listen to Limbaugh. That's beneath him. He only listens to what Media Matters lets him listen to. So if Brock's Boys snipped out part of Limbaugh's "original" quote, that means Limbaugh never said it! Keith Oralmann is a slovenly political hack and his slovenly political hackness has been exposed again.
#4: Blue-dress interview with Elizabeth Edwards. (She attacked Limbaugh and Olby added: "Amen"!) #3: More of the blue-dress interview with Bill Jefferson Clinton. Oy. Edwards, and B.J. Clinton again? You absolutely must look at The List! Is there any doubt that Countdown is indeed The Hour of Spin?
From the OlbyWatch Statistics Division [UPDATED STATS!]: Number of times Clinton was referenced last night and tonight (not counting the interview itself) with the term "President": 12. Number of times he was called "Mister" Clinton: zero.
#1: O'Reilly attack du jour (this makes #306). O'Reilly's crime: he joked, while laughing out loud, that he'd "like to strangle" some people. Aha! said Olbermahn. Those are his "fantasies of violence". Are they anything like the time Keithy Boy said he wanted to knife O'Reilly in the hamstrings? For some reason Dan Olbermoronn didn't mention that at all. He played a clip where Jesse Jackson asked Bill to explain the context of his Harlem remarks, and just as O'Reilly was about to answer the question, Herr Olbermahn cut off the clip! Just like his Media Matters masters. No way will Fat Ass allow that to be heard on OlbyPlanet. John Ridley joined Mr Merkle in puzzling over why Sharpton and Jackson aren't attacking O'Reilly enough for their purposes. Oh yeah, Ridley repeated another Media Matters lie, that Bill was "stunned" at an Anita Baker concert. Man, the lie machine was in full throttle tonight.
Geez, Keithy. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill someone?
Quiescent Canines: On The Hour of Spin, Dan Olbermahn fancies himself the flip-flop detector. Time after time he has pummelled politicians for changing their opinion on something. Here's a small sample:
Does anyone notice a certain pattern here? We won't be so bold as to point it out, but we're sure you get the drift. Now, there was a Democratic debate on Wednesday, and the next night Herr Olbermahn "analyzed" (i.e. drooled over) the performance of Hillary Clinton. She answered a question about torture, and to Edward R Olbermoronn, it was "her defining moment of the campaign". A "singular moment", possibly "a defining moment". But somehow Monkeymann forgot to mention that it was also a flip-flop. No, he didn't forget to mention it. He spiked it. Because, being the slovenly political hack that he is, Bathtub Boy is still nothing more than a left-wing water carrier.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. This week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters 21 times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized (MS)NBC seven times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -34 [limper than limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name stands at #9,324 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" is #1,475. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find the OlbyTome anywhere on its ranking radar; O'Reilly's book is #1,904 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. On Thursday the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann found himself floundering yet again. The future of tv news found himself in a miserable third place finish, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Hahaaaaaa! Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
From Nov 16, 2006:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith "Monkey Man" Olbermann launched into his usual lefty DailyKos inspired tirade. Democrats won't guarantee all troops will be out of Iraq by the end of the first term. Enter Sen. Jim Webb. Left wing water carrier comes to the rescue of Senator Clinton over Tim Russert's "gotcha" question of the evening. Was it her defining moment? Olby will make the answer definite! Olby interview with BJ Clinton, his idol. Political "crisis" [Ding!]. White House trying to silent the press. Olbsession about "racist comments" in their "racist context" regarding "Orally."
#5: The "diasterous" war in Iraq. "Bad enough the next President will inherit disasterous aftermath." Sheriff Olbermann rides in on his high horse with evidence to prove the President was "determined" to invade Iraq. More lamenting of the fact we might have soldiers in Iraq past 2013 (nevermind the fact we've had soldiers in South Korea for more than fifty years - granted they aren't being shot at and engaged in active combat - just a threat of nuclear war). President Bush is going to have a hard time preserving his legacy. Oralmann heads to "El Pais" of Spain for a transcript that the President was going to go to war with Iraq with or without a UN resolution - gasp! Olby believes he is fortunate to be joined by Senator Webb of Virginia. Mr. Webb pats himself on the back for a piece he wrote for a newspaper against the war. Oralmann is depressed that Democrats don't believe soldiers will be gone by 2013. Konspiracy Theory about war with Iran and the "Sense of the Senate" regarding the Iranian Revolutionary Guard being a terrorist organisation. Editorial note: I am going to drink myself into olbivion six years from now if arrogant Senator Webb gets reelected. Ugh. Cannot abide him. Back to our smear program, Sen. Webb is offended by those who "politicize" our soldiers (regarding Rush Limbaugh) despite the fact that some soldiers (Votevets.org) set up PACs to hammber politicians and politicize a war they apparently don't like. Hmmm.
Clip of Senator Clinton making a funny and nodding a lot. The highlight of Olby's sports casting career: interview with Fmr. President B.J. Clinton! Fat Ass nods more than Hillary. He can hardly contain his slobbering. He's so enthralled, he can't even ask a question. He's holding a little card with all those hardballs he's going to throw at the former President. Pres. Clinton brings up Hauptmann's favorite program, the "neocon sex fantasy" 24 and the potential situation of a terrorist knowing where a nuclear weapon or other WMD might be. Should we torture them? Clip of President Bush making a verbal gaffe. Geeze, the ever reputable reporter David Shuster attempts to slime a Republican Congresswoman and is proven ridiculously wrong but the President makes a verbal gaffe. Horrors!
#4: I am convinced Keith Olbermann belongs on a compound comprised of people who think the government is out to get them and stockpile weapons. Caption: "Uncle Sam is Watching You." Some nonsense that troubles Jonathan Turley. The ever dramatic Perfessor is asked which is the worst worm that "this can of worms open up." 'The NSA should have had a course on what to do when the President orders you to commit crimes on Americans.' (Olby laughs) Right. Needless to say, no court has ruled that what the paranoid Perfessor and his would be lapdog is illegal save the Disctrict Court Judge Anna Diggs Taylor (appointed by Hugo Chavez buddy Fmr. President Jimmy Carter) that was dismissed later by the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals stating the ACLU (the plaintiffs) had no standing. Moving along. More evil doings of the President manipulating the legislature and the judiciary. "They didn't want any checks and balances," opines Turley. Great thanks.
Oddball: Someone flees the cops in a pickup truck. Two headed frog with "his head up his arse." Fallafel [Ding!] reference. Images of Olbersturmfuhrer nodding in approval of everything BJ Clinton has to say.
#3: President Clinton gives loans for reading glasses. Oralmann even brings up O'Reilly with the former President! He really can't get over his Olbsession! Mr. Clinton hates personal attacks (never used them, ever). Republicans are engaged in a baint-and-switch. More reminders of that so-called evil ad against Fmr. Sen. Max Cleland. Fat Ass asks the gentleman if he knows when we will get out of Iraq. With all due respect to the former President, how the hell would he know? HE'S NOT PRESIDENT. Pres. Clinton talks for five minutes without interruption.
#2: More President Clinton interview. He's raising money to provide children reading glasses. Do you think Jabba will hand the President a cheque like he did last time? Mr. Clinton whips out a pair of reading glasses which engenders an "Ahh" from Der Fuhrer. Plug for more Clinton tomorrow. Olbession plug again.
#1: Keith Olbermann insults Stephen A. Smith. He seems to be infatuated with O'Reilly that it's borderline disturbing. I can't stomach anymore. A "sympathetic" biographer who called O'Reilly "demented" is featured for Olby's number one story. Psychoanalysis of O'Reilly by ignorant people. Good night.
In the Media Matters minute, John Gibson of "Fixed Noise" [Ding!] for telling the truth that George Soros gives money to Media Matters. Adam's Apple Olbermann lays one on Gibby by saying they fired him - oooh! Guess what? I think Gibson's proud of that! He was getting tired of filling in for Bathman while he soaked. Wonder where this came from? MediaMatters of course! Did Olby actually refute what Gibson said? Nah. Because he can't. "Fixed News" [Ding!] again! They've declared war on Iran. "Fox Noise" is hosting a show, "Ticking Bomb." Thanks Newshounds. Dana Perino wins the gold for wanting to pick the interviewer from NPR to interview President Bush. Apparently, on OlbyPlanet, that's not how things are done. Sheriff Fat Ass regulates further by pointing out they wanted Juan Williams to interview the President, O'Reilly's "chief apologist." You know, that happy negro? That comment was never mentioned on OlbyPlanet. I bet BJ Clinton picked Olby to interview him because he knew he was going to get tough questions. Anyway, thanks to ANOTHER blue blog, CommentsFromLeftField. Left field eh? You don't say?
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's went through the roof to #10,448 at amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #2,147. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome sadly remains unranked; O'Reilly's book is #1,943 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Wednesday's Hour of Spin managed a second place finish in total viewers and in that beloved demo. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 2 [LOW]
Topics include Robin's phony ambush, George Soros, Chris Collinsworth, Chicken and Waffles, and more:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann barked the opening spiel with special relish: Funding the war is a "money pit", ooh Bush made a grammatical mistake, Larry Craig, Dem debate, the Bonds ball, and "part one" of a series on why Fox should "fire Billo". Geez, Bathman. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill someone? Intellectual bankruptcy on parade: it's hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: "Fear mongering", because Secy Gates did not mention 9/11 in testimony this afternoon. Three words in his transcript weren't spoken. Start the investigation! OK. Olbermann's Brain chuckled, tittered, sniggered, and chortled. Graphic:"War Is Sell". Again Olby wants a filibuster. Brain tells everyone the Dems need more numbers in the Senate. This has been an unpaid political announcement. Olbermannijad was upset that 76 Senators voted for a non-binding resolution branding the Islamic Revolutionary Guard of Iran a "terrorist organization". Horrors! Great thanks.
To elevate the intellectual level, call in a failed radio talk show host! White House politicizing 9/11. Worse than ever, said RM. Shameless! Olby: "I think you're right". (Don't bother, Keith. She ain't interested.) The moveon ad criticized by the House. Olby: "Why would a Democrat vote for this?" Repeating the Olbermann lie that the phrase was "coined by comedian Rush Limbaugh". Keithy, when are you going to grow a pair and just admit your involvement in this smear, instead of trying to weasel out of it and deflect attention to everyone else but you? Sissy. Great thanks.
"Mister" Bush makes a grammatical error. Wow.
"Breaking news": "Storm clouds" around Bill O'Reilly's "racist remark". Geez, Bathman. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill anyone?
#4: Giuliani (R) "fundriser" fired. Larry Craig (R) in court again on charges of "disorderly condact". Oh, and he's a "right wing water carrier" [Ding!]. Dana Milbank, sans sharp suit, cracked bad puns and talked about the eeevil Republicans. Norman Shu? Who he? Paging Jack Malone. Hsu's a Missing Person on OlbyPlanet.
O'Reilly blasphemes, lies, and now may have "met his Waterloo". "Late developments!" Geez, Bathman. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill anyone?
#3: O'Reilly attack du jour, and we pause to note another milestone. Bathtub Boy's attacks on Mr Bill have now exceeded the 300 mark. In fact that happened a few days ago, so we're late noting it. But it's never too late to applaud Edward R Olbermoronn's Great Olbsession turning another century mark.
In tonight's installment, O'Reilly's like a pothole. He's in "big trouble", just like Don Imus. Olbermann promised "the full context", but did he deliver? Of course not--it was Another Olbermann Lie. Herr Olbermahn played clips from last night's Factor. Did he play any of last night's comments from Juan Williams? As we thought: no. Did he quote what Matt Lauer on his own network said? No. He brought in his far-left pal Robinson and bandied the R-word ("raaaaacist!") back and forth. Olby magnanimously said he would "play devil's advocate" by comparing O'Reilly to Al Campanis. Yeah, thanks, pal. Keithy said it's a "tipping point" [Ding!], just like Don Imus. Robinson wasn't Great Thanksed, but he was Pleasured. Geez, Bathman. To paraphrase your Boy Wonder, why this obsession over O'Reilly? When did an O'Reilly comment ever kill anyone?
At this point we pause our recap for an OlbyWatch flashback. Herr Olbermann's Imus moment: Chicken and Waffles!
We now return to our regularly scheduled recap.
After a "Fixed News" [Ding!] reference, it was on to #2: Barry Bonds's baseball. #1: Debate preview with The Drooler (he asks Olby if he's warming up to Hillary, and Olby replies he doesn't have anything to warm up from--in other words, he's already hot for Hill, as if we didn't know). In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy attacked Alexis Glick, who was just fine when she worked for NBC, but now is working for "Fixed Noise" [Ding!] and doing "heavy lifting" for the "water carriers" [Ding!] on "Fixed News" [Ding!]. Plus Rudy Giuliani (R), and the winner: "Coultergeist". Was this a new show or a rerun?
Dogs That Did Not Bark: For Keith Olbermann a news story is only news when it fits his agenda. Let's set the wayback machine to September 21, when Monkeymann decided to suggest all the Republican Presidential candidates are racists. How so? Because they weren't participating in a debate on PBS with Tavis Smiley. To quote Mr Merkle:
OLBERMAHN: The Republicans' direct little race secret. GEORGE W. BUSH: My advice to whoever will be our nominee is to reach out to the African-American community.Â OLBERMAHN: So why are all of them refusing to attend a black-focused debate?But wait, there's more:
OLBERMAHN: When the Republican Presidential Candidates refuse to debate at Black or Hispanic venues, why are they not being asked if they are as racist at that seems?... How big is what the Republicans have done here in not doing this; how big of a slap is this to black voters?The only problem is: it's not true. The PBS forum is going on as scheduled, and at least half of the GOP candidates have agreed to participate. Now maybe Edward R Olbermann knew this all along, and was just tossing another mackerel to the flipper-clapping sycophants on the blue blogs. But even if he didn't know then, he certainly knows now, given that the forum will air tomorrow night.
But there has not been one word from Olbermann correcting, clarifying, or even updating his original "report". Yes, this is why Herr Olbermann is still a left-wing water carrier and a slovenly political hack.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name slipped to #33,834 on amazon, while "Culture Warrior" has risen to #1,219. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find the OlbyTome anywhere on its ranking radar; O'Reilly's book is #1,925 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Tuesday's numbers were again not close. The "trend" promised for the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann is officially over, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 1 [LOW]
Well, I know this isn't Keith Olbermann related directly, but given how often Oralmann relies on Robin and his super "secret" sources for information about Karl Rove getting indicted, I felt the need to bring to everyone's attention the latest evidence of Shuster being a left wing water carrier. Yes Mister Shuster, you are. Newsbusters documents via another blogger ConservativeBelle about how Shuster sandbagged Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn (R-TN of course!) by asking her who was the last soldier to be killed from her district. Shuster goes on to use the soldier's name, who in fact did not live in Congresswoman Blackburn's district. Robin then wonders whenever did a New York Times ad (MoveOn.org) kill someone? Journalism at its finest!
Is it possible, just possible, that this entire O'Reilly/Sharpton/Sylvia's/Racism thing was cooked up to boost ratings? I'm not saying, but look at the trends. A narrowing gap last week, obliterated after the story came out. The chart is on the jump.
UPDATE: Here's a better link to the chart. As the folks at tvbythenumbers.com pointed out in the comments, this link will always have the current chart. My original post links to one specific day's chart. So, best advice, use this link. And, note, my "ratings ploy" idea doesn't seem to be panning out. Quite a nosedive for O'Reilly Tuesday.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The ever yapping and fearsome Keith Olbermann barked another predictable opening spiel. "Reign of Terror" by the Director of National Intelligence. The "full court press to let the administration do whatever it wants." White House trying to terrify the congress. "Phony intelligence" that the White House is using to show threats against Congress itself. "Mr. Bush" wants an endless war and is sending back channel advice to "Senator" Clinton. St. Rudy's "fundraising tragedy." 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 and 9/11. Halo 3 nerds unite. Olbermann's on the story! Thank the Lord. "What the hell is Halo 3?!" cries Keith. Here comes the answer!
#5: "The so called patriot act." It's 'not patriotism' and the 'protect america act' has 'nothing to do with protecting Americans but really for the White House to 'operate outside the law.' The White House is going to 'scare the Democratic majority into compliance.' "It has worked before," laments Olbersturmfuhrer. Shaking his head furiously, Olby continues to whine about the evils of Mike McConnell. Clip of Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA-critic). "Thanks for sticking up for the constitution, Senator." "No matter how moderate, he is STILL A REPUBLICAN." Oooooooh. Gotcha! What are you saying their, my little terrier? That all Republicans are evil, even if they're "moderate" by OlbyPlanet standards? Sure seems that way. Another "example of the White House doing something because it can." Clip of Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) question Director McConnell. Howie Fineman comes in from the cold after being replaced by Dana Milbank. The Yapper wonders if Congress has looked at a calendar lately as FISA doesn't expire until February. Ooooh - gotcha again Congress! Gives Fineman a chuckle. Fineman's in New Hampshire, "Live Free Or Die." A relevant quote to this debate, apparently. Bloated question follows about prior FISA activities. The "Democrats may realize the administration is a lame duck and grow a spine, among other things." [Ding!] penis joke. Fineman reaches some weird conclusion about how New Hampshire is a libertarian state - so the Democrats should go there to stand up to the administration. More advice to Democrats from political analyst and operative Olbermann. He asks why they don't run on a kind of libertarian platform. Howie rebuffs Olbermann's moronic question by saying it's a touch more complex than he makes it out to be. Great thanks.
Interview with Hawk-turned-anti-administration Democrat Con. Jane Harman (D-CA)(lambasted by the DailyKos kiddies - add her to the list!). Surprisingly, she praises McConnell's knowledge and eschews bipartisanship. Oh wait, Konspiracy Theory about how the White House made up a potential attack on the Capitol. She doesn't call it that, but we get a sigh out of Olby right after she tells about it. Sen. Lott is part of the Konspiracy. Suggestion that the White House is engaged in terrorism (Fat Ass gives us a definition of it then asks if that's what the White House is doing). Harman pats herself on the back for voting against a certain piece of legislation. "Is our freedom at greater risk from terrorism or those who are trying to exploit it?" Mmmhmm. Powerful questioning from the all knowing and non-liberal Keith. Great thanks.
St. Rudy would trademark 9/11 if he could.
#4: The President is offering back channel advice to Senators running for Prpesident. Clip of "Mister" Bush at the U.N. Talk about "right wing" reporter Bill Sammon (Keith is not a left wing writer). Laughing Eugene Robinson comes in to discuss the "damndest" thing they've ever heard. The President wants to besmirch our reputation and further deepen us into a "quagmire" suggests Robinson. He also thinks the President is delusional. Richard Nixon reference [Ding!]. Robinson thinks no one would continue any of Bush's policies. Hauptmann gives Robinson a back hand for comparing Bush to Churchill (don't say ANYTHING nice or even IMPLICITLY nice about "Mister" Bush on OlbyPlanet) and goes on about how Churchill was right because he was the "last man standing." That and he had forty years prior experience. Bad analogy, according to Der Fuhrer. "Is there a political rat to smell?" wonders Oralmann. Robinson sounds like he's in a room with laughing gas because he can't stop from giggling like a deep voiced schoolgirl.
Oddball: Sunoco station hold up by female ninjas. White koala bear. Laughing Stagehand laughs. People race lawn mowers. Without 9/11 Rudy Giuliani would have nothing to say - "that's well established." Feeding the Olbsession, Bill - O does something.
Best Person in the World: Dana Perino, the Bornean Orangutan, Rodney Rogers impersonates King Salomon. Keith throws paper.
#3: "Mr. 9/11." Christ, does this guy ever stop with the Misters? Keith declares Giuliani is exploiting 9/11. Olby suggests Giuliani charge the amount equivalent to the people who died on 9/11. Loony left fiend Alter plays the usual parrot and has nothing original to say. Alter thinks Keith made a good point about St. Rudy holding the fundraiser in Palo Alto because they didn't suffer as much as those in D.C., Shanksville and NY. St. Rudy doing well where 9/11 24/7 is going over nicely. Somehow Rudy's wife matters because she called him during fundraisers. Whatever. Giuliani running to be President of 9/11 - Alter. Amen to Alter. Great thanks.
#2: Commercial using Larry Craig "lending a helping hand to his fellow man." Stalls of Justice. The group behind the commercial is critical of PACs who gave money to - gasp - Republicans! Like - Saxby Chambliss! Do you think they gave any to Democrats? Never! No Democrats ever support the farm bill! Not like the 50 Senate Democrats who voted for the 2002 Farm bill! No mention on Olby Planet.
Keeping tabs: Kiefer arrested for drunk driving. Cloony in a motorcycle accident.
#1: Halo 3. Whoopee.
In the Media Matters minute, Congressman Duncan Hunter (R-CA), for wanting to cut off funds to Columbia for allowing the Iranian dictator to speak there. One of Olby's lackeys' favorites, ThinkProgress. According to Der Fuhrer, Congressman Hunter is like the Iranian dictator because they do things like that in Iran - cut off funds for doing things the government doesn't like. No, Fat Ass, they hang them. Ugh. O'Reilly doesn't like what far left smear group MediaMatters is doing. Bill-O wins the gold, for criticizing Columbia for inviting the Iranian dictator but offered Mahmoud a place on The O'Reilly Factor. It's a two-fer, for O'Reilly and ThinkProgress. Apparently, H/T to Newshounds. Blueblogapalooza.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's came in at a stellar #21,000 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #2,343. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome still can't find a rank at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,942 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Monday's Hour of Spin put olby back in second place overall and in that "key demo." Source. Worth mentioning that Mr. Bill's money demo nearly double Olby's, as usual. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: A-Jad speaks, Condi Rice, fake terror threats, "Mister" Bush and "the far right", Britney Spears, and more! Keith is back with a blueblogapalooza, which makes it a Blue Monday (in more ways than one!) at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Dems spar with a "lame duck" [Ding!] White House, and A-Jad speaks at CU. It's "free speech" and "higher learning", and Bollinger gave "the most brutal introduction of all time". Clip of Condi saying A-Jad at ground zero would be a "travesty". Clip of A-Jad wanting to see ground zero. The Wolffe Man thought the speech "succeeded" even though A-Jad looked like "a fool". Herr Olbermann was quick to note that see, A-Jad really didn't deny the holocaust and showed another clip (no homosexuals in Iran). Wolffie was astute enough to contradict Olby's claim that A-Jad was not really denying the holocaust, but Merkle recovered by complaining that A-Jad wasn't allowed to go to ground zero, which Wolffe Man dittoed. He added that the rise of A-JAd is Bush's fault because he's been "baiting" Iran for years, and--surprise!--Wolffie dittoed that as well. Of course there was the obligatory "administration drumbeat for war" and other golden oldies, which culminated in the ritual Great Thanks.
Next Edward R Olbermann had to apologize to Sen Levin for claiming he voted to condemn moveon, when he actually voted no on the resolution that passed. On OlbyPlanet, Dems get the apologies that Repubs (or eeevil Foxians) don't.
#4: Bush's Brain [Ding!] comments on Hillary, a new book on "Mister" Bush, all to cue the entrance of Dana Milbank, without weird wardrobe. Olby ragged on Bill Sammon for asking "Mister" Bush about the moveon ad, comparing him to Jeff Gannon. Even Dana distanced himself from that smear; it's kind of fun to see one of the OlbyToadies squirm a bit in the Seat of Honor. Olbermoronn objected to Bush likening himself to Harry Truman, and suggested maybe it should have been Truman Capote. Wow, two homophobic slurs in the space of three minutes. Something else Krazy Keith has in kommon with A-Jad. Great thanks.
After yet another O'Reilly attack (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), we got #3: politics, terror, nexus, lexis, goose, gander, yada yada yada (Blue Blog Sources: Think Progress and Raw Story). One-time Republican, now lefty (though not identified as such) Fein was there to press all the buttons: it's fear, it's misrepresentation, and he even played the Valerie Plame card! You know he got Great Thanksed.
#2: Britney Spears (lengthy regurgitated video from the Today show), rumored Brady Bunch lesbian love nest, O.J., Miss USA, Katy Couric. #1: Mars.
In the Media Matters Minute, it was time to feed The Olbsession yet again, because one O'Reilly attack per show just isn't enough. First though, an attack on David Vitter (R) (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Olbermahn's favorite charity). Mr Bill was attacked for criticizing an emailer as being from "far left loonville". Yeah, that's really tough talk. He should have called Brit Hume a "right wing water carrier". That would be perfectly fine on OlbyPlanet, where standards are always double. The winner turned out to be Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). We got Another Olbermann Lie as the discredited baseball card collector claimed Limbaugh was first to use the "betrayus pun". A lie because it wasn't Rush who coined it, it was a caller. Because it wasn't used against our troops or Petraeus, it was used on a politician. And because the first media appearance of this insulting slander against General Petraeus was, as we know, perpetrated by the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. Keithy, when are you going to grow a pair and just admit your involvement in this smear, instead of trying to weasel out of it and deflect attention to everyone else but you? Sissy.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #31,573, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,307. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,964 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Again Friday wasn't even close, as the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann once again lost overwhelmingly to his bete noir, the eeevil O'Reilly, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 5 [ELEVATED]
Well, they do, though it's really just in passing. But that's good enough for us!
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: John Boehner drooling, Blackwater's "mercenaries", Republicans are racists, Barry Bonds, and more. Get out the no-doze. Hey, if Krazy Keith can phone it in, so can we. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Those Democrats are actually losing votes on their Iraq legislations due to "obstructionist Republicans". Clip from Levin (D), clip from Webb (D); clips from (R) Senators: zero. The Wolffe Man simpered that Bush's plan is just "a rewwz". Olby wanted a show filibuster, with cots etc, and Wolffie had to remind him they already tried that in July. Reference to swiftboats [Ding!]. Again Edward R Olbermann deftly avoids mentioning his complicity in the "betray us" debacle. Great thanks.
Clip of Levin (D) explaining why he voted to criticize the moveon ad. Uh-oh, someone is about to get spanked. "Manufactured outrage". "Echo chamber". "Lunatic right-wing fringe". O.K. Soltz of the Huffington Post was there to divert the subject to McCain, Cleland, swiftboats [Ding!] and praise "freedom of speech". Olby brought up a nonexistent movie ("Mr Smith Comes to Washington") as Soltz rushed to defend Harry "The Body" Reid. Yet again, Herr Olbermann neglected to mention his complicity in the "betray us" smear. Great thanks.
#4: Blackwater in Iraq. Contractors responsible for "Sunday's slaughter" of innocent civilians. Has John Murtha spoken out on this yet? Jeremy Scahill from the far-left (though not identified as such) Nation magazine laid the blame at the feet of--ta da!--"the Bush administration", and Dan Olbermahn immediately joined in. It's the "radical right-wing evangelicals" said Nation guy, and you know Olby didn't mind that at all.
#3: Republicans are hypocrites. No wait, they're racists. Oh hell, they're both (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Monkeymann's favorite charity). Reference to "Fox Noise" [Ding!]. To drive home the bankruptcy of Edward R Olbermann's "journalism", he baldly lifted two block quotes right off the Kos page! Talk about phoning it in. Why doesn't A-Mess-NBC just hire Markos to read his own webpages and eliminate the middleman? Olby suggested that Republicans want to reverse integration, and Eugene R was happy to chuckle along with that bizarre notion. They both begged Democrats to please take this up and call Republicans racists, and do it now! The only thing missing was the tagline: "I'm Howard Dean of the DNC, and I approved this message."
#2: Britney Spears "breaking news", Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan. #1: Barry Bonds and his baseball. In the Media Matters Minute, runner-up: Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters); worst: Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress...man, this was lifted almost word-for-word; more phoning it in!).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this 2-day week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters seven times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC three times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -14 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #16,123, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,638. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,795 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. No KO lying on tonight's Hour of Spin about beating Mr Bill. Thursday wasn't even close, as the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann could do no better than a miserable third place, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".
It's been a long, busy, summer. But fall and football have arrived and I'm going to try to stop by and aggravate the fine folks who populate olbermannwatch a bit more frequently. KO survived surgery and seems in fine, aggitated, form last night - blasting the President over his comments on the anti-Patraeus ad. I'm sure you've seen that Marvin Kitman thinks KO should replace Katie on The CBS Evening News. Even for me, that's a bit of a stretch. One this is pretty obvious, when Bill O'Reilly has a substitute host, his numbers take a bigger dive than Keith's do when he's gone.
In fact, that led to a couple of interesting nights recently, with Keith actually coming out on top. True, it followed a big Sunday night football presence, but it does show some promise. Along those lines, the fine folks over at tvbythenumbers have decided to start tracking the ratings race between KO and BO. They pull the raw numbers and package them up in a neat little chart that gives you all of the variations on those numbers you could want. They also keep on top of all kinds of other ratings information. CLICK HERE to see the battle graphs. You'll also notice some of their other tracking data on the page. Don't say I never gave ya' anything! And, as always, feel free to stop by my place, The Krile Files, and spend some time. There's a lot of political stuff there, but dig down, you'll find some fun, classic, TV links, too.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Krazy Keith roared back into action. The President "forgets his line. No comment on Syria and Israel" and a "final punch to the gut conveniently asked about the moveon.org ad." "Seriously" says Hauptmann, "after the 'swiftboating' of Kerry and the 'sandbagging' of Cleland." Speshul Komment plug on a "bad pun" from Moveon on the "President of hypocrisy." WW2 was "inevitable" unlike a war that was "sold to us." OJ Simpson's girlfriend speaks. "I came back for this," utters Keith. Speshul Education Komment plug.
I'm bumping this because I have been dead and thought people might be interested in discussing Olby's latest special ed comment. I'll move it back to its right place later tonight
#5: The Senate "toothlessly" condemned the ad by liberal Moveon.org. Twenty two Democrats acting like "Pavlov's Dogs" [Ding!] to the sound of a bell after 'Mister' Bush criticises MoveOn. Another attempt by Olbermahn at pretending he can be witty that falls flat. The "fallacy" of who's "really supporting the troops" continues. I guess that means MoveOn is really supporting those troops by saying a top General is betraying us, eh Keithy boy? "Mister Bush" throws everyone on the "enemies list." Fat Ass suggests he knows more than Petraeus because all of his information was "demonstrably false." "MoveOn.org had the guts to call [President Bush] on it." Another pathetic attempt to make "Mister Bush" look stupid because Jabba can't understand the idea that there were no great leaders to emerge after the fall of Saddam Hussein. That's because Saddam kills him all - but that makes no sense on Olby planet. "There are five things wrong with that analogy" declares Olbermann. What are those things? He doesn't say. Blackwater reference. "Mister Bush" makes it hard for middle income families to get health insurance. Of course. I always forget that Republicans want anyone who isn't rich to drop dead. Since Mister Bush wasn't a Rhodes Scholar, he's not qualified to be President. I wonder how well Kerry did at school? Oh wait, he wouldn't release his grades! Because he did worse than Bush! Here comes Dana Milbank, sporting some boring threads. Come on Dana, liven it up! Monkey Man declares it "Nonsense!" when Mister Bush says it's one thing to criticise him, it's another thing to attack somebody like Gen. Petraeus. Olbermann, baffled by 22 democrats voting with Republicans on the condemnation. Milbank, ever looking to suck up to Keithy, tells him that the President "looked to the back" and found Bill Sammon of the Washington Times (far right) and Fox News "Is that who that was? Oh god" blurts Olby. I am surprised his lackeys missed that in the first place. You'd think that would make WPITW material. "He served it up for the President." "They did not bring back habeous corpus (for terrorists - Keith leaves that out) or 'time for the troops' back home (aka backdoor way to end the war)," laments Keith. Ever the one for deep questions, Olby reaches deep for one about where the President's "accent went" when he refused to answer a question Israel's air raid on Syria. Apparently, he's required to answer all questions asked by hostile media on OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
Speshul Komment plug.
#4: Bring in Loony Left Alter to play parrot. Love fest ensues. President Bush is "toxic." Republicans are not running away from him "yet." However, once the general campaign starts, they'll run away. They already are on some key votes like the "Jim Webb" bill which DIDN'T PASS because it won only 5 Republican votes. Some defection. The Republicans are "loving his fear platform." Time to prop up Keith Kandidate, Senator Clinton. She called the VP "Darth Vader." "OLBERMANN: Now what explains that, other than itâ€™s probably true?" Brilliant insight from Alter, "it's read meat for Democrats."
Speshul Komment plug AGAIN.
Oddball: Someone flips a tractor full of cold Bud Light with funny voice by Keith imitating commercial. A naked guy tries to rob a mini-mart. Penis joke in conjuction with "mini mart." Oh wait, it's a two-fer because the guy's name is "wag-WAG-ner." har. Eleven year old does bull fighting.
Best Persons in the World: Keith's doctor on his appendectomy. Comedian from Comedy Central. Some idiot pulled over dressed as bat girl. Paper throwing.
#3: Actual interview with Ken Burns on a WW2 documentary.
#2: Keeping tabs: OJ Simpson, The View
In the Media Matters minute, apparently limited to "politics of the moment", bronze to Michelle Malkin thanks to blug blog ThinkProgress. Silver, Bill O'Reilly for calling the student who tased in Florida a wimp. Thanks to CrooksAndLiars blue blog. Winner of the coveted gold? Bill-O again for asking viewers to DVR his show via ICN. Thanks to ICN, Spud makes a good point about the Olbypocrisy of talking about his "key demo" numbers but bashing O'Reilly. Also how Olbermann would have no way of knowing whether or not Nielson was angry.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's crash landed at an embarrassing #13,890 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #2,870. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome is MIA at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,858 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Thursday's Hour of Spin pulled a lame and pitiful third in the "key demo" and overall. Source. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 10 [SEVERE]
Worth reading before losing your lunch over Keith's ignorance: Michael Crowley (left leaning New Republic) writes about the victimization of Max Cleland and the bogus nature of it here. Also, "Mister Bush" called for the end of the airing of the "Swiftboat" ads which apparently were masterminded by Karl Rove. No mention on OlbyPlanet.
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
Finally tonight, as promised, a special comment on Mr. Bushâ€™s smear today of MoveOn.org, and in a larger context, his smear of criticism of his own political front men. With the president behaving a little more than usual like weâ€™d all interrupted him while he was watching his favorite cartoons on the DVR, stepped before the press conference microphone. And after side stepping most of the substantive issues, like the Israeli raid on Syria, in condescending and infuriating fashion, produced a big wow political finish that indicates certainly that if it was not already the annual Republican witch-hunting season, it is under way.
â€œI thought the ad was disgusting. I felt the ad was an attack not only on General Petraeus, but on the U.S. military. And I was disappointed that not more leaders in the Democrat party spoke out strongly against that kind of ad. That leads me to come to this conclusion that most Democrats are afraid of irritating a left-wing group like MoveOn.org, or more afraid of irritating them than they are of irritating the United States military. That was a sorry deal.â€
First off, itâ€™s Democratic party, sir. You keep pretending youâ€™re not a politician, so stop using words your party made up. Show a little respect. Secondly, you could say this seriously after the advertising mugging of Senator Max Cleland, after the Swift Boating of John Kerry? But most importantly, making that the last question, a plant so that there was no chance at a follow up, and so nobody could point out, as Chris Matthews did so incisively a week ago tonight, that you were the one who inappropriately interjected General Petraeus into the political dialogue of this nation in the first place, deliberately, premeditatedly and virtually without precedent.
You Shanghaied a military man as your personal spokesman and now youâ€™re complaining about the outcome, and then running away from the microphone? Eleven months ago, the presidentâ€™s own party, the Republican National Committee, introduced this very different kind of advertisement just 19 days before the midterm elections. Bin Laden and Zawahiri rumored quote of six years ago about having brought suitcase bombs, all set against a ticking clock, and finally a blinding explosion and the dire announcement, these are the stakes. Vote November 7th.
That one was OK, Mr. Bush? Terrorizing your own people in hopes of getting them to vote for your own party has never brought as much as a public comment from you. The Republican ham-stringing of Captain Max Cleland and the lying about Lieutenant John Kerry, those met with your approval? But a shot at General Petraeus, about whom you conveniently ignore it is you who reduced him from four-star hero to political hack, that merits this pithy, juvenile blast at the Democrats on national television?
Your hypocrisy is so vast, sir, that if we could somehow use it to fill the ranks in Iraq, you could realize your dreams and keep us fighting there until the year 3000. The line between the military and the civilian government is not to be crossed. When Douglas MacArthur attempted to make policy for the United States in Korea half a century ago, President Truman moved quickly to fire him, even though Truman knew it meant his own political suicide, and deification of a general who history suggests had begun to lose his mind.
When George McClellan tried to make policy for the Union in the Civil War, President Lincoln finally fired his chief general, even though he knew McClellan could galvanize political opposition, as he did, when McClellan ran as Lincolnâ€™s presidential opponent in 1864, and nearly defeated our greatest president. Even when the conduit flowed the other way, and Senator Joseph McCarthy tried to smear the Army because it would not defer the service of one of McCarthyâ€™s staff aides, the entire civilian and Defense Department structures, after four years of fearful servitude, rose up against McCarthy and said enough, and buried him.
The list is not endless. But it is instructive. Air Force General LeMay, who broke with Kennedy of the Cuban Missile Crisis and was retired, Army General Edwin Anderson Walker, who started passing out John Birch Society leaflets to his soldiers and was fired. Marine General Smedley Butler, who revealed to Congress the makings of a plot to remove FDR as president, and for merely having been approached by the plotters was phased out of the military hierarchy.
These careers were ended because the line between the military and the civilian is not to be crossed. Mr. Bush, you had no right to order General Petraeus to become your front man. And he obviously should have refused that order, and resigned rather than ruin his military career. The upshot is, and contrary it is to the MoveOn advertisement, he betrayed himself more than he did us. But there has been in his action a sort of reflective courage, some twisted vision of duty at a time much crisis.
The man does not understand that serving officers cannot double as serving political ops is not so much his fault as it is your good exploitable fortune. Mr. Bush, you have hidden behind the generalâ€™s skirts, and today you have hidden behind the skirts of the planted last question at a news conference to indicate, once again, that your presidency has been about the tilted playing field, about no rules for your party, in terms of character assassination, and changing the fabric of our nation, and no right for your opponents or critics to as much as respond.
That, sir, is not only un-American, it is dictatorial. And in pimping General David Petraeus, sir, in violation of everything this country has been assiduously and vigilantly against for 220 years, you have tried to blur the gleaming radioactive demarcation between the military and the political, and to portray your party as the one associated with the military and your opponents as the ones somehow antithetical to it.
You did it again today, sir, and you need to know how history will judge that line you just crossed. It is a line, thankfully only the first of a series of lines that makes the military political and the political military. It is a line which history shows is always the first one crossed when a Democratic government in some other country has started down the long, slippery, suicidal slope towards a military Junta. Get back behind that line, Mr. Bush, before some of your supporters mistake your dangerous and stupid transgression as a call to further politicize our military.
Good night and good luck.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Last word from Keith is that his Big Return is tenatively set for tomorrow. That comes to us from TVNewser. Speaking of TVNewser, they did a bit of a hasty flip-flop today...
It's only a matter of time before TVN tumbles to the fact that they left the old version on the server for everyone to see. So when that link goes dead, we'll still have the screengrabs:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: Alison Stewart
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: Alison Stewart
Keith will be out for a few days as he continues his recuperation from having his appendix removed. Apparently the problems began on Wednesday but Keith dismissed them as stomach trouble and did his Thursday night show and the post-Presidential-speech analysis anyhow. Luckily he saw a doctor on Friday. Good news: he is feeling better, enough that he could surf ebay and bid on a piece of baseball memorabilia Sunday night. We hope there will be a speedy and pain-free recovery.
Since there will be no recap tonight, here's an audio bit left over from our Friday stack:
TVNewser reports that Keith Olbermann went in for emergency surgery to remove his appendix on Friday night. He will be off the air for a few days. We wish him well.
Keith Olbermann responding to a question Rudy Giuliani in a Playboy interview: Sez Keith: Giuliani tried to out-Bush Bush. He tried to get votes by talking about casualties as if another attack like 9/11 were inevitable, suggesting that voting for anyone but him would lead to more people getting killed. That's about an inch from saying, "If you don't vote for me, you'll die, which is another inch from saying, "If you don't vote for me, I'll kill you." And that, to me, is not America. In fact, it's not Earth. I don't usually single out candidates for praise or brickbats, but if they're going to politicize terror, to do the work of the terrorists by terrorizing the populace, I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks. That's my job.
KXMC links to blogger Tom Maguire who asked the following:
So let me see if I have mastered this "logic"---when Al Gore says that global warming is a gathering threat, and so on, he is one inch from saying that if we don't vote for environmentally sound candidates we will die, and two inches from saying that he will personally kill us (I presume a coroner would rule it death by boredom, but really, anyone listening to Al Gore for more than a nanosecond ought to be ruled a suicide.) Or, work with me, Keith---Nancy Pelosi thinks if we don't vote for stricter gun control we will die, which is two inches from saying she will personally gun us down like Michael Vick's dogs. Of course, to a liberal like Olbermann, the as-yet-unproven threat of anthropomorphic global warming and the private ownership of firearms really are threats. Islamic terrorism, by his own words, apparently is not.
Exactly. And oh by the way? Olbermann does in fact single out candidate Joe Biden for praise in the Playboy interview after stating that he usually doesn't do that sort of thing. Yet another Olbermann lie, this time captured in black and white on the pages of Playboy.
Another hit from Olbermann's interview with commentary from Noel Sheppard: Fox News is worse than al Qaeda! Something to which Noel Sheppard responds with: An anchor for one of the leading television news networks in the world has stated that a competing network is worse than the world's leading terrorist organization responsible for the killing of thousands on September 11, 2001, and many others around the globe. He's also stated that this news network is as dangerous as the most racist organization to ever exist in America. Can anyone explain how this man can say these things and continue to represent MSNBC and NBC?
Our question exactly. Bravo to the blogger at KXMC.com, Maguire,and Sheppard as well.
Olbyloons? Spin away. Or do what you usually do, just divert.
Sometimes even Keith lets the truth slip out...
See also here.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: Some Anchorette Who Did Not Identify Herself
Tonight hundreds of loon hearts are broke,
Krazy Keith is not on--that's no joke.
After he smeared Petraeus,
Said the guy would betray us,
He ran home to his bathtub to soak.
Today there was major breaking news involving the theft of sports memorabilia. Sports memorabilia! That's the only area where Olbermoronn can make any claim to expertise, and he takes the night off. Oh, the irony.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters ten times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC six times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -20 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#26,508, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,015. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,802 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Oh, and the new "trend" of Monkeymann beating the eeevil O'Reilly? Not going so well. Thursday wasn't even close either in total viewers o in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".
The reactions to Keith Olbermann's new gig on the NBC NFL show have not been good. Universally panned, loathed by sports fans, and apparently, disliked by his colleagues. But we can depend upon the ever-reliable Liberal Elitist NY Times to come rushing in to praise their boy and fellow jihadist, Keith Olbermann.
FOOTBALL NIGHT OVERHAUL When NBC returned to carrying the NFL last season, it created the Football Night in America studio program, with Bob Costas, Jerome Bettis, Cris Collinsworth, Sterling Sharpe and sometimes Peter King. It was static and stiff. The lead foursome moved from one set to another as if they were linked in a giant charm bracelet. A shot of the four men looked as if no wide-angle camera could contain them and still make out their faces. Much has changed, all of it positive, since last year.
Oh really? So why is it being universally panned by both critics and fans? Oh right, it's the NY Times.
Olbermann's presence should remind fans from his SportsCenter time that few can deliver highlights with as much wit, verve and snark. He might have alienated some viewers on the political right with his MSNBC program, but forget that. He is not commenting on Dick Cheney's marksmanship lowlights here. Olbermann elevates the show, as does Barber.
Who is this guy trying to kid? Olbermann wasn't even liked when he was at ESPN. Especially not by his co-workers or management!. Witness the following quote about how Olbermann's former ESPN co-workers still feel about him years after his departure:
Olbermann didn't just burn bridges since he left Bristol, Conn., he apparently obliterated them. It's a shame he'll miss the reunions, but ESPN says it didn't have much of a choice. "We didn't want to bring him into the workplace," said ESPN executive vice president Mark Shapiro. "The damage he could do in one day in the newsroom could put us in damage control for two years. . . I was blown away by how much people reacted to me even (meeting with Olbermann)" Shapiro said, adding he had no idea how many "bodies were buried along the way. Even though he did leave a tremendous legacy and helped chart the course of the show, there was too much bad stuff that came with it, unnecessary bad stuff."
Yeah that Olby, he sure wins hearts and minds wherever he goes doesn't he? Well, at least at the NY Times.
And oh yeah, don't forget the NBC NFL fans. They just love him. That must be why so many want NBC to fire him immediately.
Recently, Keith Olbermann has been crowing about his ratings "victories" over Bill O'Reilly. In fact, Olbermann and MSNBC will even crow over "near" victories.Never mind that O'Reilly was on vacation on one of the days that Olbermann claimed a "victory". But Olbermann only scored this victory in the "Live Plus" demo ratings. What is a demo you ask? Simple, it's viewers age 24-54, a viewing population highly coveted by advertisers. And "Live Plus"? That's the number of viewers who watch both live, as the program airs, PLUS the number of people who record the program on DVR's.
Naturally any network will claim the ratings set most favorable to them, and it is very clear that without those DVR numbers, Olbermann can't claim a "
But on the Sept. 7th Countdown, Olbermann claimed that it was these Live+SD ratings that advertisers used to place their ad buys, not the Live data. LIAR!
Spud at ICN breaks it all down for us here about what the difference between Live and Live Plus ratings are and what they really mean to advertisers.
As longtime readers have no doubt noticed, ICN has been noting the various controversies regarding traditional Live ratings vs. Live+SD ratings. Monday, the story took a new and unexpected twist when I heard from a top industry ad sales executive regarding ad buying. The executive said that all commercial time purchased through the end of September for cable news is based on Live ratings and not Live+SD ratings.
But let's go to the transcript of the Sept. 7th episode of Countdown to see what Keith Olbermann told his audience about what these ratings mean:
There are two ratings for each show. There's total audience and then there's the demo. Your audience of people aged 25 to 51. They're the ones the advertisers are trying to reach with those commercials. That demo number is the one advertisers use to decide whether or not to buy a commercial. People get hired and fired based on the demo. The difference is like the difference between the number of people who read a newspaper and the number of people who buy it. The buyers count. And that night Bill mentioned he had 440,000 buyers and we had 367,000 buyers. Last night, while Billy was whining about this, he was down to 396,000 buyers and we were up to 377,000 buyers. And we had more than he did for the first half hour.
One tiny problem with that claim, advertisers don't care how a show does in a quarter-hour or even half-hour. Secondly and most importantly, Olbermann was using the Live Plus dataset to try and claim a ratings victory on his Sept. 7th show!
Back to Spud at ICN:
Of the cable networks, FNC does not use Live+SD data to publicly benchmark its programming but MSNBC and CNN do (presumably, this also means CNBC and HLN do as well as both are sister networks of MSNBC and CNN respectively). But according to the ad exec, MSNBC and CNN are not selling by Live+SD. (Inquiries to CNN were not returned. An MSNBC spokesperson said they would get back to me but I did not hear back from them before this was published. However I did hear via another source that MSNBC is using Live data to sell advertising).
Got that people? In case you didn't, here it is again. MSNBC and CNN are not selling by Live+SD. OLBERMANN LIED TO HIS AUDIENCE!
More on how ad buys are placed:
A majority (around 75%) of cable and broadcast advertising is purchased well in advance in what are called up fronts. Up fronts run for a year. The current year's up fronts began last September and will expire in a couple of weeks and then next year's up fronts will kick in. This next year's up fronts will be based on a new time shifted standard that was agreed upon between all the broadcast and cable networks and advertisers and is called Live+3.
Olbermann fans have openly embraced the notion of Live+3 because they believe that this will give Olbermann's a ratings advantage. But there's a fly in the ointment:
There is an open question as to whether advertisers will really agree to ad rates based on Live+3 ratings for the cable news niche of the TV spectrum due to the low likelihood that DVR viewers would hang on to news programs past the first 24 hours in most instances, a scenario far more probable for TV dramas, comedies, and movies.
Again, unless you're an obsessed fan, intent on "archiving" Olbermann's every show, there aren't that many people who are going to want to watch three-day old news!
Back to Spud's excellent primer on how ad buys are really placed:
The remainder of the ads that weren't bought as part of up fronts are called Scatter and are divided up to be sold through each of the four quarters of the year. There's all sorts technical considerations involved with the ad rate negotiation process; so technical that I'm not going to attempt to break them down here. . . The fact that Live ratings were used for the up fronts this year and, presumably, last year means that the Live+SD ratings which have been bandied about have been relatively meaningless as a benchmark because they aren't what those nets have been using to charge for advertisements.
Got that? Live+SD ratings which have been bandied about have been relatively meaningless as a benchmark because they aren't what those nets have been using to charge for advertisements. But Olbermann claims it is. Again, OLBERMANN LIED!
It would be argued in some quarters that their importance is very significant for the future because time shifting in the ratings will be part of the next year's ad buys. But what concerns me and what's prompted this entry isn't the future. It's the past. Live+SD ratings have been used on blogs like TVNewser and elsewhere in the MSM and on TV going back nearly two years now in some cases. And that's the problem for me because those ratings apparently weren't being used as part of the ad buying process. They weren't used to negotiate the current year's up fronts. So why were they being used publicly as the benchmark when they weren't being used to contribute to the bottom line?
Let me take a wild guess here: Because without the use of Live+SD ratings, Olbermann's (fat) goose would be cooked. Spud thinks so too:
The likely answer seems to me to be PR. Live+SD ratings are frequently higher than Live ratings. Depending on the program and the day/time it aired the difference could be a few thousand (which technically would put the difference within Nielsen's own margin of error for ratings) or it could be twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty thousand. Or higher. The higher, the better, because it would make a program look better on paper than what a net was really getting for it in advertising money via the Live ratings. And, in the cut throat world of cable news PR, having the highest number is key. It's a clever strategy.
And with Olbermann and MSNBC, and his Enablers, it's all about putting that lie out there and repeating it again and again and again until hopefully someone believes it. And Keith's easily misled fans fall for it, hook, line, and sinker.
The only problem arises if someone finds out the ratings being given out publicly aren't being used to charge for advertising. And charging for ads are what ratings are supposed to be used for.
It's all about the advertising people. Without it, networks die. And as Spud clearly documents here, the set of ratings being used by the likes of TVNewser and MSNBC, are LIES. Futhermore, Olbermann LIES about what they are used for and how they are used and what data set advertisers really use. And Olbermann's witless fans are dumb enough to believe it all, because Olbermann said it, just like they accept everything he says without question. Because Keith would never lie now would he? In the words of Chris Matthews: HA!
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Monkeymann barked the opening spiel: Declare victory and stay in, "Mister" Bush's "dog and pony show", interview with Chris Dodd (D), Fred Thompson doesn't go to church, Rosie O'Donnell, Britney Spears, and more. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Petraeus, troop reductions, Tony Snow's "spin" (obligatory hectoring footage), and Olbermann's Brain. CC snickered about insanity, used "Democrat" as an adjective (ooh! will the blue blogs crucify him?), and chuckled about how the Dems may be able to force quicker withdrawals of troops. Great thanks.
Next up: Reickhoff who, oddly, says he hears from the troops that they want a political solution. Maybe he's talking about the Iranian troops. Incredibly Fat Ass slammed Bush for only listening to people who agree with him. (Say, isn't Chris Dodd Olby's guest in the next segment?) PR swiftly dittoed: yeah, that's exactly what the troops are saying. After waving the favorite fright wig, the draft, he got Great Thanksed by the un-American Olbermann.
#4: Another politico as a guest on The Hour of Spin. Care to guess which party he belongs to? Before you take a stab in the dark, drop everything else and check out The List. Pretty incredible, ain't it? This from the guy who complains "Mister" Bush doesn't listen to opposing viewpoints!
A tough, no-nonsense interview, as Monkeymann grilled Chris Dodd (D) and pummelled him with tough questions. Here are Oralmann's pointed inquiries to the (D) senator:
After plugs for Dodd's "remarkable" book, "great" book, "remarkable" book, he was Thanksed. Oh by the way, Mr Merkle gushed that Dodd has been a "steadfast war opponent". Good thing he didn't bother to mention that Dodd voted for the war. That sort of thing doesn't get mentioned on OlbyPlanet.
After a quote read to tell viewers that "Mister" Bush is a "downright moron" and another fine, fine, edition of oddball came #3: Fred Thompson doesn't go to church. He's a skirt-chaser. CC (the other CC, not Olbermann's Brain) was then asked about Norman Hsu and Hillary. Yes, the power and influence of this site has finally shamed the discredited baseball card collector into acknowledging news that every other news program has been on top of for almost two weeks. Another victory for Olbermann Watch! CC was actually permitted to describe it as "potentially damaging". Uh oh. Quickly changing the subject to Obama, Olby said he was "trying to polish his foreign policy credentials". Great thanks.
After a "Fixed News" [Ding!] reference, came #2: Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Walters, Donald Trump, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Owen Wilson, Jon Stewart. #1: Britney Spears with the creepy Michael Musto.
In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy didn't disappoint. Yes, he once again fed The Greatest Olbsession of them all. First a smear of "Fixed News" [Ding!] for a spokesman making a snarky comment about that most hallowed of all the blue blogs, TVNewser (Blue Blog Source: what else? TVNewser). Then it was on to The Big Kahunna (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters). Gawd, can't Olbermoronn get a new shtick?
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#17,077, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,295. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,803 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. No KO lying on tonight's Hour of Spin about beating Mr Bill. He didn't. It was not even close both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
A chorus of criticism has been launched at moveon.org for its controversial "General Betray Us" advertisement. Veterans, members of the military, and politicos ranging from Mitt Romney to Nancy Pelosi have criticized the ad for its suggestion that a respected wartime military leader is actually a Benedict Arnold--a traitor who would betray his country. Even Keith Olbermann was reluctant to echo the moveon charge. While he slammed Republicans as "egregious" for taking exception to the "Betray Us" ad, Olby quickly added: "not to defend that phraseology".
Why not defend it, Keith? You know better than anyone that the moveon critics are aiming at the wrong target. It's not moveon.org who should take the blame for this repellent implication against the General. Fess up, Keith--why are you trying to distance yourself from this smear? Moveon didn't come up with it. You did!
Long before the moveon "Betray Us" advertisement, back on August 16th, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann began his "newscast" in the usual fashion, bellowing the opening spiel. And there it was, weeks before the moveon ad, in all its glory:
KEITH OLBERMANN, MSNBC HOST: Which of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow? The Petraeus report, less Petraeus, more betrayaeus (ph).
Perhaps at that point Keith should have added: "not to defend that phraseology", but oops he couldn't, because it was his phraseology. Oh, and just to drive the point home, he also plastered it on-screen, so nobody would miss it:
Unbelievable. Olbermann is a hugely talented broadcaster and one of the smartest guys around, but his tunnel vision on politics is wearisome. The mainstream media is loaded with liberals as dishonest and slanted as Fox News' GOP stalwarts; sorry, as bad as Fox News is, nothing it has done compares with Dan Rather's use of forged documents to try to prevent W.'s re-election.
You know it's bad when even the Olbermann promoters jump ship and call him out for what he truly is!
Beyond that, both parties are full of contemptible hacks who protect their donors and who are more interested in manipulating people with wedge issues than solving problems.
This statement does make me wonder if Mr. Reed actually watched Countdown. Because if he did, he'd know that only the GOP makes the "news" on Olby's Official Democratic Approved "Countdown".
For someone as sharp as Olbermann to look at this landscape and see only one class of bad guys is baffling and off-putting.Hey Mr. Reed-we here at Olbermannwatch have been trying to point out Olbermann's failings for years. But glad to know someone in the MSM finally took notice and called Olby out on it.
On Monday, the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann made Gutfeld a "worser person" for this. Last night, Greg, his mom, and Andrew Levy responded on Red Eye:
Someone else had some serious questions about Keith Olbermann's claims in the Playboy interview. Jeff Bercovici from Conde Nast Portfolio has an interesting little think-piece up on the Portfolio blog:
Olber-the-Top Rhetoric: Remember when Luke Skywalker, having just sliced off Darth Vader's hand, looks down at his own mechanical hand and realizes he is becoming Darth Vader? Someone needs to tell Keith Olbermann that his hyperbolic attacks on Bill O'Reilly are turning him into another O'Reilly. When even the "liberal media elite" begins to question your act, maybe it's time to reel it in.
Comic exaggeration is part of Olbermann's shtick -- this is, after all, someone who names a new "Worst Person in the World" every night. But equating Fox News and Rupert Murdoch with racists and killers is neither funny nor particularly insightful. It's shrill and unattractive, and reeks of the same blowhardism that Olbermann is usually the first to skewer. I know the O'Reilly feud has been great for Countdown's ratings, but it's time to ease up.
Finally, one of Olby's own is calling him out. It's about time!
On September 8th here at Olbermannwatch, we documented how the "new" TVNewser was a lot like the old TVNewer, but even worse and less reputable if that was humanly possible. Chris continues in the great tradition of the now departed Brian Setzer in pimping MSNBC in general and Keith Olbermann in particular every chance he gets. Today's edition has this breathless PR release from MSNBC:
Olbermann's Win A Surprise Even Inside MSNBC: Phil Griffin knew it would happen, he just didn't think it would happen this quickly. On Friday night, MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann was the top-rated cable news show in the 25-54 demo. That means Olbermann beat his cable rival, FNC's The O'Reilly Factor and its host Bill O'Reilly. That's a first. O'Reilly and all the FNC primetime programs still dominate the total viewer numbers. So why is the demo win such a big deal? "It's everything, the demo is everything. It's where we make our money," said Griffin. And the Olbermann bump helps. "For years MSNBC struggled to find someone to be the tent pole and lead the way," Griffin says. "In 11+ years, I don't think there has been a better moment."Griffin should know, he helped start MSNBC and watched as FNC shot past CNN to #1 where it remains today. And he says Bill O'Reilly rightly gets a lot of the credit. "O'Reilly did it for Fox in 1999, and helped take it to where it is today." But, he adds, "It's clear now, it's a two-person race."
There's just so much wrong with this post that we're going to break it down piece-by-piece for you.
UPDATED with feedback from Inside Cable News!
Phil Griffin knew it would happen, he just didn't think it would happen this quickly. "The real insight I had was over the summer," said Griffin, the NBC News senior VP who manages the Today show as well as MSNBC. Griffin tells TVNewser, Olbermann "maintained his core audience, so when the mass viewers came back after Labor Day...it's just surprising it happened so quickly."
Phil Griffin for those of you who don't know is an old buddy of Olbermann's. The pair worked together at CNN during Olbermann's first stint there. He's also the "genius" who was responsible for firing Don Imus. Hey Phil, ratings guru, programming genius--how's that working out for you over there at MSNBC? Yeah that "Morning Joe" is really bringing in the viewers isn't it?
Now let's go to this next bit of fiction shall we?
On Friday night, MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann was the top-rated cable news show in the 25-54 demo. That means Olbermann beat his cable rival, FNC's The O'Reilly Factor and its host Bill O'Reilly. That's a first.That certainly sounds impressive, only it's not true. You see, TVNewser and MSNBC are using "Live Plus" ratings meaning the count includes both those who watched the program live as it aired and those who recorded it on a DVR or TIVO device. Of course there is no proof whatsoever that anyone actually bothers to go back and watch what they recorded on a DVR or TIVO. I know I've got movies sitting on my TIVO that I recorded over a year ago. But here's the difference those Live Plus Numbers can make and the misleading impressions they can lead to, impressions that the MSNBC PR machine which includes their willing flack, TVNewser don't bother to explain:
On Friday, September 7th, using the Live Nielsen data (available at Inside Cable News), Bill O'Reilly scored 1,861,000 total viewers; Olbermann? 702,000. That means that in all age groups, O'Reilly had a total of 1,159,000 more viewers than Olbermann did. Using "Live Plus", O'Reilly scored 1,885,000 total viewers; Olbermann? 856,000. A difference of 1,029,000. So in what bizarro world do you have a million more viewers, on average, than your nearest competitor and still be considered a loser? Oh yeah, right. The MSNBC PR department and TV Newser.
So let's go look at those coveted demos too shall we? On Friday night, September 7th, using the Live data, The Factor had 311,000 viewers in the 25-54 demo. Olbermann? 269,000. Victory? It belonged to Bill O'Reilly. But using those "Live Plus"? Bill had 324,000; Olbermann had 365,000. Keep in mind there is absolutely no proof whatsoever anyone who recorded Olbermann's opinion-fest actually bothered to watch the show later, they just recorded it.
Now we don't fault MSNBC for trying to use the best possible set of numbers to spin Olbermann's program as a "hit". That's why Public Relations departments exist after all. And we all know that Olbermann has one huge, King-Kong Style ego. But TVNewser really should rebrand himself as MSNBC/NBC/CNBC Newser if he's going to continue to post these articles without any analysis. He's even being called out for his pitiful efforts by other television industry websites for lifting items without attribution and for buying into such PR releases without providing the needed and necessary analysis that real journalists use. But perhaps Chris doesn't really understand what true journalism is. After all, his last job was at, you guessed it, MSNBC. Which is rather suprising that he chose to post the following comment on his blog from the Fox PR flack:
When asked to comment for this story, Fox News spokesperson Irena Briganti wrote, "Does Mediabistro know you're on two payrolls â€” MSNBC's and theirs?(of course, I haven't been on MSNBC's payroll since I left the company in January.)"
Inside Cable News continues to do a fine job questioning TVN on the "facts": This is a bit overdramatic. Can we please have some perspective here? It was one win in the Demo (based on Live+SD ratings and not Live ratingsâ€¦more on that later in another post). Just one win. But the positive PR eminating out of Secaucus is disproportionately high... . at the same time this is hardly the time to be doing cartwheels and cracking open the champagne either. Not over one dayâ€™s ratings to be sure. Iâ€™ve said it before and Iâ€™ll say it again. For a trend you need long term data.
And indefensible too. Don't blame us...it's his words:
On Red Eye Monday night, Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy took on Keith Olbermann's Fox = Al Qaeda comments. We have the video for your viewing pleasure:
We've known it all along: there is no bigger hypocrite in television "news" than the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann. But after Monday night's Hour of Spin, the world knows it too. Never before has the discredited baseball card collector exhibited such naked, blatant duplicity. Here's why.
Monkeymann, as predictable as Pavlov's dogs in a bell-testing factory, leaped to attack Greg Gutfeld and John Gibson. Their crime? They found similarities in the words of Usama Bin Laden and those of Keith Olbermann. As you know, because you heard it first right here on Olbermann Watch, Gibson simply played UBL's words cheek-by-jowl with Oralmann's special comments. The parallels were, and are, incontestible.
So how did Krazy Keith reply? He smeared John Gibson and Gutfeld. They "parroted the desperation in the far-right lunatic fringe". (Note the healthy supply of invective and name-calling.) Olby went on to assert that UBL's "paranoia" was actually "much closer" to George W Bush (say what?). And of course, then it was on to sleazy personal attacks: "Gibby, congrats on that new co-host the're bringing in to save your program".
Just to set the record straight, Gibson's The Big Story attracted over 1,000,000 viewers a day in August and handily won its time slot. Countdown had to settle for 638,000, and it's on in the heart of prime time (8:00 pm), not in the afternoon like Gibson's broadcast. But why the attack on Gibson's program in the first place? How does that rebut the substance: what the tapes of UBL and Olbermann demonstrated?
Well, it doesn't. Keith never addressed, explained, or even dealt with the substance. Instead, he used the segment to attack Bush (natch!) and toss in an irrelevant and factually deviant slam at Gibson's show. So why didn't Herr Olbermann take the opportunity to prove Gibson wrong?
Aside from the fact that Gibson wasn't wrong, there's also the fact that, as usual, Keith Oralmann does not come to the table with clean hands. The "desperation", the "paranoia" he bellowed about? It's all part of the Keith Olbermann playbook. Comparing people to terrorists and Nazis is all in a day's work for the former sports guy.
Keith Olbermann, who equates the Republican party to a gang of mass murderers, says it's John Gibson who is paranoid and an extremist! Add in to the mix Krazy Keith's insistence that Fox News is "worse than Al Qaeda", and you have the most deleriously glittering example of Olbypocrisy ever documented. Keith Olbermann truly is the biggest hypocrite in the world.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the trademark opening spiel: The Petraeus report, protesters, "a cheap sales job", and the American government "in crisis" [Ding!]. Plus Larry Craig (yet again!), Britney, and more. It's another Monday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: The mic didn't work at first for Petraeus, and that was a "metaphor" [Ding!]. Clips of the mic not working. Petraeus "made the claim" that his words "were entirely his ooon". Sounds like Bathtub Boy is getting ready to attack the US military again, doesn't it? Sure enough, recent events "hyped endlessly" had "nothing to do with the surge". KO cited a vague statement from six months ago as his "proof" (Blue Blog Source: AmericaBlog). Clip of Gary Ackermann (D) hectoring Petraeus. Clips of (R) Congressmen questioning the general? Zero. On-screen graphic: "Four Star Spin". The Pundit for All Occasions parrotted OlbySpin even when KO brought up the "General Betray Us" ad from moveon: the best they could do was "attack the left wing".
Stop the tivo! Where was Herr Olbermahn's outrage over a decorated General being attacked, his patriotism impugned, with the implication that he was a Benedict Arnold and a traitor? Hasn't Olby railed against people for "impugning" someone's patriotism? Let's check the record:
Of course, it's perfectly acceptable for Keith Oralmann to inpugn the patriotism of Republicans, as when he called the current administration un-American, or when he said "Mister" Bush favors politics over patriotism. Perhaps this is why he did not get all indignant, he did not do a special education komment against moveon.org for smearing Gen Petraeus with the implication that he is a traitor. Well maybe he'll put moveon in the "worst person" segment. We'll see, but don't bet your house on it.
But we digress. Howie got Great Thanksed and after an O'Reilly falafel reference (attack #292) it was on to #4: Petraeus is just a spinner and a salesman, and to drive it home Monkeymann brought on a true expert: ultra-left drama critic Frank Rich. Petraeus's appearance? A "pre-fab sales job". We don't have to accept his report. Olby said it's "another sales job" coming up re Syria and Iran, and sure enough the theatergoer went right along. Olby came up with one of his classic smears: Petraeus is a "once-respected" military leader. Yeah, we couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. A few words about Colin Powell plus Olby begging to find a way to cut off funds for the war, as requested by Usama Bin Laden, the show reviewer got Great Thanksed.
After another O'Reilly attack (with loofah [Ding!]) in which KO used nonstandard ratings to concoct a nonexistent demo win over the eevil Mr Bill (see below for the truth), we finally came to #3: another meeting of the Olbermann Criminal Rehabilitation Project, with its star pupil, John Dean. Richard Nixon [Ding!]. VietNam [Ding!]. Again Olby repeats UBL's plea for Democrats to act. Two more Nixon references [Ding!][Ding!]. Neocons [Ding!]. VietNam [Ding!]. Nixon [Ding!]. The felon himself got to speak, and it was the usual tripe. The government is "broken", yada yada. Same old, same old. Olby claimed Bush got us into war "without bothering to consult the legislative branch". Gawd, is he really this idiotic? Is he actually this dense? Hey Bathtub Boy, have you forgotten that the Congress debated on and voted approval for military action? How in the wide world of sports can that possibly be called "without bothering to consult" Congress? Are you really this ignorant and stupid? Apparently so. The disbarred lawyer went on to echo Bin Laden again, and as a reward he was Great Thanksed.
#2: Larry Craig; #1 Britney Spears. In the Media Matters Minute, Brit Hume of "Fox Noise" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), John Gibson and Greg Gutfeld of "Fox Noise" [Ding!], and Andy Card (R). Note: we address the smear of Gibson and Gutfeld in a separate post. There's just too much Olby goodness to squeeze in here.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: We're now into the, what, the second week of the Hsu (D) fundraising scandal. And on OlbyPlanet, it remains The Great Story Never Told. The latest is that Hillary Clinton (D) now has to give back nearly a million dollars scarfed up for her by the discredited criminal bagman. Yet we all know where Keithy keeps his head, and it may be smelly in there, but that's where Hillary wants him, and he's happy to oblige.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #29,037, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,244. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble seems to have given up even trying to find a ranking for the dud OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,808 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Keefy, true to his tradition of hyping the nonexistent, made it a point to crow over his Friday night ratings, where, he says, he beat Bill O'Reilly. Um, the truth: Keith Oralmann lost again to the eeevil Mr Bill both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]
The October Issue of Playboy has the latest Mainstream Media spin on how Olbermann is a "great success". Inside Cable was the first to report on the Playboy article which contains the quote (among others) that
Al Qaeda really hurt us, but not as much as Rupert Murdoch has hurt us, particularly in the case of Fox News. Fox News is worse than Al Qaeda--worse for our society. It's as dangerous as the Ku Klux Klan ever was.
Olbermann is seriously comparing Fox News to Al Qaeda and the Ku Klux Klan????? When was the last time that Fox News used airplanes to topple buildings and kill thousands of innocent people? When was the last time Rupert Murdoch was responsible for the murder of thousands of American civilians on American soil? When was the last time Fox News or Murdoch burned a cross on anyone's front yard? Answer? Never. Not one. But that doesn't stop the Olbyspin Machine. Read on!
Olbermann also writes off more than half his audience with this statement:
People over 25 have no money; people over 54 are set in their ways and understand that advertising is largely bullshit. It's fine to have viewers outside that group, but they don't cout as much. They're like people who get free tickets to a ball game.
Then he takes a slam at his own fan groups, such as they are, with the announcement that he only wants the "hot ones" oogling him.
There are chat rooms that get bawdy. One group of women will start analyzing the issues but soon it will devolve into talk about my tie and what they'd like to do about removing my tie. That's a strange thing about TV, it's like being on the wrong side of a one-way mirror. You don't know if it's a group of Jennifer Lopezes out there undressing with you with their eyes or a bunch of Leona Helmsleys.Keith we've seen photos of some of your fans. A more apt comparison would be a bunch of Mama Cass Elliots.
And I was particularly amused when ole' Keith weighed in on how much smarter his sports audience is than his "news" audience:
Sports fans aren't dumber than the rest of America. They're smarter. It's the rest of America that believes in crazy plots. But the sports fan is reality-based.Gee, guess this is why the sports fans at the NBC Football boards can't stand your guts. Neither can these guys. And Newsday isn't too wild about him either. Maybe that's got something to do with the fact that last night he apparently made a racially offensive remark about a black player? And this is the guy who is comparing Fox to the KKK?
And then there was this unbelievable comment about what the Republican party plans for 2008 and beyond, totally devoid of facts to back up his BS statement of course:
We will see a draft if the Republicans win in 2008, because they've got a plan to invade very country except Liechtenstein but not enough shoulders to do it. To get enough soldiers they would need a draft. And that would be interesting. You'd have rioting in the streets within 48 hours.
And this one just made us laugh as it's not only a contradiction in terms, it's total Olby doublespeak:
I went to an ACLU dinner with 700 lawyers, 700 honest lawyers. . . .
And finally there was this:
I'm unbearable in the morningNo Keith, you're unbearable and unbelievable at any hour of the day.
UPDATE [J$]: The Olbersphere weighs in...
And Daily Kos, which is requesting that its Kossacks go to Inside Cable News to defend Keith Oralmann! The Kos War Room swings into action once again!!
We had some hope there for TVNewser for awhile. After young Brian departed to become a toady at the NY Times, there was an opportunity for TVNewser to stop the shilling for NBC/MSNBC/CNBC and actually become a first-rate blog devoted to reporting news within the television industry. Alas, all hopes have now been dashed. Not only did TVN decide to hire a former MSNBCer for the job, they also decided to bring on hacks like Gail Shister, who has a certain history of altering stories especially where Keith Olbermann is concerned.
The latest adventure in TVN "journalism" is their swiping of a story from another industry website, FTVLive.com. FTV is a subscription only site so we'll leave it to Inside Cable News to explain what went down:
FTVLive rips TVNewser for ripping it off without attribution. . .Yesterday FTVLive reported FIRST that CNBC lawyers were planning on filing papers with New York Supreme Court Today (Yesterday) to try an obtain an emergency injunction in order to keep Eric Bolling from appearing on Fox News Channel. Six hours after FTVLive posted that story, TVNewser writes " We hear the case of former CNBC Fast Money contributor Eric Bolling is back in court today." Gee Chris. . . Where did you hear that from? FTVLive maybe? Tisk tisk. . .
If that weren't bad enough, TVN insists that Keith Olbermann is a ratings success! On August 31, TVN posted this item:
Close Call in the Demo for Olbermann If you kept an eye on the cable ratings charts from this week, you may have noticed a narrower gap between Countdown with Keith Olbermmann and The O'Reilly Factor in the 25-54 demo. On Monday there was a 15,000 viewer gap; on Wednesday just 6,000. Many emailers have opined that the closeness is based on viewer sampling from Olbermann's NBC network appearance Sunday night. Others have written that it's because O'Reilly was off this week. An MSNBC insider tells TVNewser "Countdown has been gaining steam for months, it gets better and better creatively and viewers recognize that." We still have Thursday's and Friday's numbers yet to come to determine if there's any trend.
But did TVN analyze the numbers to see if there was a trend? Nope! Did TVN mention that O'Reilly was on vacation that week? Again, the answer is no! Journalism at its finest Ladies and Gents! But wait. . . . there's more! On Friday, September 7th, TVN breathlessly posted the following:
The 8pm Cable Picture Comes Into Focus Last night, Countdown with Keith Olbermann came within 19,000 viewers of The O'Reilly Factor in the 25-54 demo. Countdown beat The Factor in the first two quarter hours. Countdown had 408,000 demo viewers from 8-8:30, The Factor had 373,000 (live+ same-day DVR). In total viewers last night, O'Reilly still more than doubled Olbermann's audience.
That little claim is being challenged by Spud at Inside Cable News: September 7, 2007
Premature prognostications. . . TVNewser writes that Countdown came close to beating The O'Reilly Factor last night and broke out quarter hour numbers as evidence. I'm not convinced of the persuasiveness of this entry. Using quarter hours as a benchmark seems like shaky methodology to me at best. O'Reilly still won the hour so it really doesn't matter what Countdown did for select 15 minute segments, does it? And this really doesn't change anything. The Factor continues to regularly beat Countdown in The Demo. TVNewser paints the Demo battle as getting closer, but the data is inconclusive at best. Countdown may be having a good week but it's still just one week. Ratings trends need to be measured in the long term. Only time will tell whether Countdown is on the upswing vs. The Factor or this is just a temporary blip on the ratings radar. I would be interested in seeing a chart with long term Live+SD data (TVN uses Live+SD so that's why I refer to it) for the two programs to accurately gauge what's going on with the Live+SD ratings for the two programs.
See TVN? That's how it's done. You post numbers, you analyze the numbers, and you consider what other factors may be contributing to a bump in the ratings. Is that really so hard to do? Or is it just easier to post the press releases that MSNBC sends you and the "anonymous" emails from the PR types and no doubt Olbermann himself trumpeting his "ratings success".
They really should rebrand TVNewser and just call it CNBC/NBC/MSNBCNewer.
We now have official documentation that Olbermann is using parody sites for his "news" sources on Countdown. Of course we here at Olbermannwatch have long documented Olbermann's use of questionable blog sources for his "newscasts" and know that without Media Matters, Huffington Post, and Daily Kos, Olbermann wouldn't have any show material whatsoever. But until Thursday night, we had no idea that the writing staff at Countdown were so dumb they couldn't discern from what was a real news source and what was a parody website.
Let's go to the transcript! Olbermann reports:
First here are COUNTDOWN's top three newsmakers of this day. Number three, Fox television is trying to one-up CBS's "Kid Nation" reality show, you know, set up a Lord of The Flies thing and see if they really will kill each other. A mid-season replacement on the Fox Network next January, Kid Army; 40 children, aged seven to 15 training and planning a military mission all on their own. Well, it does sound like it will go better than Iraq.
One tiny problem however with that "source". Turns out it was from a parody site. Two commercial breaks later, Olbermann was forced to. . .gasp! Issue a retraction and apologize, to Fox!
And let's get a correction out of the way immediately here. In the newsmakers segment tonight, we included an item about Fox trying to top CBSâ€˜ show Kid Nation with something called Kid War. The source of that story turns out to be a satirical website. Somebody here didn't notice that. The ultimate responsibility for that falls to me. My apologies to Fox and to you for the lousy vetting.
This would not be the first time the brain trust over at MSNBC had difficulty detecting satire and parody. Only a few short weeks ago, MSNBC.Com was caught posting a story attributing a quote defending Michael Vick to the Rev. Al Sharpton, citing what they said was Sharpton's website.
In a story that MSNBC.com ran last Friday on how the legal troubles of disgraced NFL star Michael Vick are dividing African-Americans, Web site editors apparently fell hook, line and sinker for a parody Web site that made up a quote from the Rev. Al Sharpton. In the first version of the story that appeared on MSNBC.com, Sharpton was quoted as having written on his personal blog, "If the police caught Brett Favre (a white quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other, would they bust him? Of course not. They would get his autograph, complimenting him on tightly spiraled passes, then bet on one of his dolphins." In an updated version later in the day, MSNBC.com had retracted the quote and added this "correction" to its report. "An earlier version of this article quoted from a blog entry purportedly by the Rev. Al Sharpton. MSNBC.com has determined that the blog is a hoax." The correction also noted that Sharpton had in the past issued a statement condemning dogfighting. But the 24-year-old founder of the parody site Newsgroper.com, where the Sharpton parody first appeared, thinks that's a bit strong. "It's not right to call it a hoax," said Newsgroper founder Greg Galant. "We didn't put something on Sharpton's letterhead and mail it to them. "We label ourselves a parody and market ourselves as satire," he said. "They just made a mistake. I think they should be apologizing to their readers for reporting parody as fact."
But the best coda on this story is from my favorite Olbyloon, the psychotic and multi-named BerryBush, Tru, Orinenglish, Kathy, Dorrie, Psych101. You see, as we've reported here before, BerryBush aka the Loon of 1000 Names, tapes each and every Olbermann broadcast for her own little personal "archive". I guess she thinks the Smithsonian is going to knock at her door any day and beg for her collection. Witness the following meltdown where Berry loses it over the aforementioned Olbermann apology. Seems she thought that he'd go back and name a new "newsmaker" in the Midnight show, thereby deleting and retaping that segment of the show to cover his error. Naturally, Berry had to have BOTH versions of the broadcast for her "collection". And hilarity ensues.
I am so goddamned stupid, I can't get anything right.
Finally, an Olbyloon has seen the light! And provided ample explanation as to the mindset of his audience!
Before I take myself out back and shoot myself, did anyone catch the re-air last night? Did anyone see Keith's replacement Newsmaker? I set my machine to record it but despite VERY CAREFULLY CHECKING to see that the time I set on it was correct, I didn't get it. Then I look at the time set and it's set to FUCKING PM INSTEAD OF AM! I can't even tell you how angry I am. How many times do I have to look at something and see an A where there's a P...Anyone see it at all? I'm just curious.
Just curious? No dear, you passed the "just curious" stage a long time and are clearly in full-blown psychotic meltdown.
Sometimes I think I should just give up and throw all my recording equipment out the window. Other days I catch adorable things like Keith playing air guitar.
Oh yeah, that Keith, he's "adorable" isn't he? How low must this woman's standards me if she thinks Olbermann is a sex symbol? And Berry aka Loon of 1000 Names? If anyone knocks at your door for your "collection", trust me, it won't be the Smithsonian calling, it'll be the men in white suits with a straight jacket waiting just for you!
We included this in our Friday recap but several OlbyWatchers told us it deserves its own post. So by popular demand, here is John Gibson's side-by-side comparison of Osama Bin Laden's latest video with the "special comments" of the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Another opening, another spiel: Petraeus report is oral, not written (Scandal!), if Iraq improves it wasn't the surge, UBL is Sean Hannity (wrong comparison, as we shall see), and more. Yes, this is as boring as it sounds. So to spice things up, more dogs that did not bark, our weekly assessment of the discredited baseball collector's masculinity, and a special bonus must-see blockbuster audio clip where John Gibson connects the dots: Usama to Olbermanna. It's Casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Petraeus will report to Congress, and Olby is hung up on the fact that he'll testify, not draft a document. UBL is "Mister Bush's Bogeyman". Iraq is a "shell game" and "American kids get killed". The Wolffe Man simpered. Olby plugged a moveon.org petition--fast work, the emails just went out today. Oh, and "Mister" Bush is insincere--yes Olbermahn uses his Kreskin-like powers to read minds now. Great thanks.
Anbar province has improved but KO sez don't thank the US military for that. It had nothing to do with the surge. Once again Krazy Keith demeans the military. Why does Olbermann hate our troops? RC played along with Bathtub Boy's insistence that we're doing everything wrong. Great thanks.
#4: Corruption in Iraq (regurgitated video from NBC). #3: The UBL video: "never mind what's on it", the big deal is "Mister" Bush hasn't caught him yet, nyah nyah nyah! KO rattled off some of UBL's monologue, but left it at that and turned to The Huffington Post's Gerald Posner (does Olby have them on retainer?) to further the spin. Great thanks.
#2: Evil Apple: they lowered the price of the iPhone. On OlbyPlanet, people who willingly bought an iPhone for $600 were cheated because it's now $400. Perhaps Rev Olbermahn should check out the parable of the workers in the vineyard. (Insert more regurgitated video here.) Plus Hugh Hefner, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie. #1: Lots of oddball. In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy again fed his all-consuming Olbsession: the eeevil O'Reilly. We are up to attack #291 now, though this one was lame, a simple excuse to brag about some (phonied up) ratings numbers (for the truth see below).
Silent Schnauzers: What happened to David Shuster and Scandal Watch? Oh, damn, that's right. Only (R) scandals need apply. That's why Edward R Olbermoronn has avoided reporting on the developing Hsu story for over a week now. That's why he continues to ignore this. Or an even bigger case where 11 allegedly corrupt politicians were arrested on federal charges. Oh, what, they all have a (D) after their name. OK, that get spiked as well on OlbyPlanet. And then there's that UBL tape, and what Fat Ass did not tell you about it. John Gibson reveals all in the appendix below. In sum, Keith Olbermann is still a left-wing water carrier and a slovenly political hack.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters nine times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC three times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -18 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#13,333, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,313. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble seems to have given up even trying to find a ranking for the dud OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,783 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Once again Fat Ass made some fantasy claims about how great his ratings have been, and as always he used nonstandard, artifically inflated numbers (LivePlusSameDay)--and lied by claiming these were the numbers advertisers use (they are not). But the hard facts show that on Thursday night Keith Oralmann again lost decisively to the eeevil Mr Bill both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 9 [SEVERE]
Did all those bromides on the Usama Bin Laden tape have a vaguely familiar sound to you? John Gibson thought so, and the trail led straight back to Bathtub Boy:
Which is the more interesting revelation in the latest from the Kos Kids? The fact that they monitor Olbermann Watch so as to be ready to spring into action to defend their hero? Or that Keith Olbermann has one of the Countdown "staff" assigned to scour DailyKos every day for stories and opinions Monkeymann can use (without attribution, of course) on The Hour of Spin? (Perhaps Olby can't do all that "research" himself because he is too busy raising money for the Kossers.) To John Gibson, the salient point was the Kossacks rushing to defend Oralmann by attacking Gibby. On his radio program Thursday night, Mr Gibson returned fire:
UPDATE: The Kos War Room swings into action! They've already banged out a retort to this post. (There was obviously no time to get basic facts right, which is why they claim Gibson said something that wasn't said by him at all.) In any event, Olby should be aware of all this within the hour.
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Maybe if Gibby had promised to spit on Herr Olbermann, Krazy Keith would name himself worst person! That's a snappy little ditty Gibson plays near the end. Wonder where he got it from...
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: Craig may not resign, The Perfessor will weigh in, Bush in the "bubble" [Ding!], free advertising for Madame Hillary, and more. It's hump day at Olbermann Watch, and we can't wait for The Hour of Spin to end because it's also debate night.
#5: Larry Craig yet again. The Pundit for All Occasions said the controversy is "going to last", Monkeymann referenced GOP "hypocrisy", and a good time was had by all. Great thanks. Next: Olby and the Perfessor. Withdrawing the plea is a risk even though the case against him is weak. Yeah. We know. Great thanks.
#4: Iraq benchmarks not being met. Quote from Pelosi (D). New book about "Mister" Bush by Draper. Yammering about who disbanded the Iraqi army, Bush's "cavalier" (KO) remarks (Draper said they weren't cavalier), yada yada yada. Borrrrrrrrring.
#3: Olbermoronn and Bernstein in a drooling contest over Madame Hillary. "Former President" Bill Jefferson Clinton: clips regurgitated from NBC. Hillary is "real, flesh and blood, exciting, fascinating...she is something else!" gushed CB. Mr Merkle was gaga over how well she uses her husband B.J. Amazingly, one hot topic never came up (see Dogs, below). Well, not so amazingly. This is, after all, OlbyPlanet. Great thanks.
#2: Steve Fossett search, plus Jude Law, Halle Berry. #1: Leona Helmsley's dog.
In the Media Matters Minute, Bathtub Boy attacked a Congressman (Republican, natch) (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos), and Michelle Malkin (of the "lunatic fringe" and "Fox Noise" [Ding!]) (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos). What did Michelle do wrong? Nothing. She was named "worst person" because Geraldo Rivera verbally attacked her and said he would "spit on her". So Olby naturally sides with Rivera. On OlbyPlanet, spitting on people is good, as long as it's Michelle Malkin.
Dogs that did not bark: Danish terror busts, and an Al Qaeda attack targeting Americans thwarted in Germany. Do the Olbypologists even care how Krazy Keith routinely and deiberately buries this news? We're now into week two of a scandal so major that it has received front page coverage in both the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. A million-dollar fundraiser for Madame Hillary who fled the jurisdiction after a conviction for grand larceny years ago, and now has jumped bond again! It will surprise no one that this story is still being totally spiked by Edward R Olbermann. It's a (D) scandal that involves Hillary Clinton. Herr Olbermann will go to any lengths to protect his candidate, including censoring any news not favorable to her. Yes, Keith Olbermann is a left-wing water carrier and a slovenly political hack.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#23,032, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,383. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble seems to have given up even trying to find a ranking for the dud OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,784 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. We're off to watch the debate. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 3 [GUARDED]
Don't feel like throwing away eight minutes of your life watching the latest rant from the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann? Want to get all the substance of Oralmann's Special Education Komments in a concise, capsulized format? And with a beat? If so, then Keith Olbermann's Special Comment--The Remix is for you:
"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Krazy Keith barked like a small Bichon Frise for the opening spiel. 'The President at war over Iraq on three fronts! The first front, George Bush vs. his own memory! The second front, George Bush vs. his own first man in Bagdahd. Third front, George Bush's comments vs. George Bush's comments!' He can't even afford to call him President once. He's playing for "October-November" (Keith got this from one of his usual blue blogs, ThinkProgress). Iraq is worse for Iraqis and Speshul Komment plug. Hillary tries to be funny on Ellen and Steve Fossett is missing. The DailyKos kids are brought to tears.
#5: "Photo op" in Iraq. President is hoping the Republican Presidential candidates will have to "drink his kool aid." The trip to Iraq was designed to "steal the Democrats thunder" before they return to congress. OlbyPlanet seems to be under the impression that the Democrats have any thunder with approval ratings like 18%. Fat Ass gives the President a clip. GAO report sounds bad for the war. Wolffe Man enters stage left with an attempt to look smart with books behind him.
"Why al-Anbar for the photo op?" Wolffe Man concedes there is good news and it should be applauded. But he tries to make it seem like nothing has REALLY changed because...well.....oh those damn Sunni Sheiks decided they were tired of being killed by al-Qaeda in Iraq along with other Sunni and Shia insurgents. It's a "mixed picture." The administration is going to jump on anything that shows violence down and "claim it's their own." Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because the violence is down they should tout their accomplishments? Or is that only bad when Republicans do it? "How do Democrats respond to the President's two week head start?" "They fight it. Win over Republicans." GAO leak was a massive conspiracy. Great thanks.
"Mister" Bush is trying to distance himself, from himself! Zing! Paul Bremer and the great army dissolve scandal. Fired (ret.) General Clark comes to play patticake with Olbermann. Great insight about how we failed to plan for security - we didn't do it. The President was on his ranch when he corresponded with Amb. Bremer. Ok, I care, because? Gen. Clark rambles about how they should have maintained the army. "Does the finger pointing matter or does the President bear the responsibility?" asks Keith. Clark declares we have "failed." Great pleasured he was.
"I AM PLAYING OCTOBER-NOVEMBER" quotes Hauptmann. Speshul Komment plug again.
#4: President trying to shape his legacy. Another Saddam's army disbandment scandal mention. "Bush's Brain" author. I can't imagine why he is on Countdown. Keith NEVER uses "Bush's Brain." Slater filibusters about everyone building legacies or something. The President is going to ride out his Presidency any "damn well way he pleases." He's either Hoover or Truman, he's more like Hoover says Slater. "Is he checking out when he checks out?" "He'll be the slacker in chief." "Has he been stoic or saying 'how I pity me'? There are two Bushes according to Slater. Laura and the girls were the quickest to puncture his balloon when he "pities himself." Great thanks.
Another Speshul Komment plug. The President is a liar.
Oddball: El Salvadorians throwing rags on fire. World moustache and beard competition. Breaking News: Sen. Larry Craig reconsiders.
Newsmakers: Michael Imperioli, someone on a mountain, Sen. John McCain.
#3: Sen. Larry Craig reconsiders his decision via the AP. Chris Cillizza discerns from the headline that Sen. Larry Craig is reconsidering his decision. NO WAY! Blabbing about legal versus political reality. His family is telling him not to resign, they think. Yawn. Keith thinks Cillizza did fantastic work under the pressure of breaking news. Speshul Komment plug.
Keeping Tabs: Steve Fossett is missing. Brad Pitt has people lunge at him.
In the Media Matters minute, a columnist from the evil WorldNetDaily for repeating a column in which Castro calls Clinton/Obama unbeatable - MediaMatters. Thabo Mbeki gets the silver. Evil 'Neo-Con' wins the gold, VP Chief of Staff David Addington comes out in favor of terror via CarpetBaggerReport.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name limped along at #17,438 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #4,270. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome managed to - wait - it didn't. It's still unranked at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,832 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: LOONY [HELP!]
APPENDIX: Keith's Latest Speshul Education Komment
Finally tonight, a Special Comment about Mr. Bush's trip, and his startling admission of the true motive for this war, which was revealed in his absence.
And so he is back from his annual surprise gratuitous photo-op in Iraq, and what a sorry spectacle it was.
But it was nothing compared to the spectacle of one unfiltered, unguarded, horrifying quotation in the new biography to which Mr. Bush has consented.
As he deceived the troops at Al-Asad Air Base yesterday with the tantalizing prospect that some of them might not have to risk being killed and might get to go home...
Mr. Bush probably did not know that, with his own words, he had already proved that he had been lying... is lying... will be lying.... about Iraq.
He presumably did not know, that there had already appeared those damning excerpts from Robert Draper's book "Dead Certain."
"I'm playing for October-November," Mr. Bush said to Draper.
That, evidently, is the time during which, he thinks he can sell us the real plan.
Which is, to quote him: "To get us in a position where the presidential candidates, will be comfortable about sustaining a presence."Comfortableâ€ -- that is -- with saying about Iraq, again quoting the President, "stay... longer."
And there it is, Sir.
We've caught you.
Your goal is not to bring some troops home -- maybe -- if we let you have your way now;
Your goal is not to set the stage for eventual withdrawal;
You are, to use your own disrespectful, tone-deaf word, playing at getting the next Republican nominee to agree to jump into this bottomless pit with you, and take us with him, as we stay in Iraq for another year, and another, and another, and anon.
Everything you said about Iraq yesterday, and everything you will say, is a deception, for the purpose of this one cynical, unacceptable, brutal goal -- perpetuating this war indefinitely.
War today, war tomorrow, war forever!
And you are playing at it!
A man with any self-respect, having inadvertently revealed such an evil secret, would have already resigned and fled the country!
You have no remaining credibility about Iraq, Sir.
And yet, yesterday at Al-Asad, Mr. Bush kept playing -- and this time, using the second of his two faces.
The President told reporters, quote -- "They, (General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker) "tell me if the kind of success we are now seeing continues, it will be possible to maintain the same level of security with fewer American forces."
And so, Mr. Bush got his fraudulent headlines today.
"Bush May Bring Some Troops Home."
While the reality is, we know from what he told Draper, that the President's true hope is that they will not come home; but that they will stay there, because he is keeping them there now, in hope that those from his political party fighting to succeed him, will prolong this unendurable disaster into the next decade.
But, to a country dying of thirst, the President seemed to vaguely promise a drink from a full canteen -- a promise predicated on the assumption that he is not lying.
Yet you are lying, Mr. Bush.
But now, we know... why.
You gave away more of yourself than you knew in the Draper book...
And you gave away more still, on the arduous trip back out of Iraq -- hours in the air, without so much as a single vacation.
"If you look at my comments over the past eight months," you told reporters, "it's gone from a security situation -- in the sense that we're either going to get out and there will be chaos, or, more troops. Now, the situation has changed, where I'm able to speculate on the hypothetical."
Mr. Bush, the only "hypothetical" here is that you are not now holding our troops... hostage.
You have no intention of withdrawing them.
But that doesn't mean you can't pretend you're thinking about it, does it?
That is your genius, Sir -- as you see it, anyway.
You can deduce what we want -- we, the people, remember us? -- and then use it against us.
You can hold that canteen up and promise it to the parched nation.
And the untold number of Americans whose lives have not been directly blighted by Iraq -- or who do not realize that their safety has been reduced and not increased by Iraq -- they will get the bullet points: 'Bush is thinking about bringing some troops home. Bush even went to Iraq.'
You can fool some of the people all of the time, can't you, Mr. Bush?
You are playing us!
And as for the most immediate victims of the President's perfidy and shameless manipulation -- those troops, yesterday sweating literally as he spoke at Al-Asad Air Base...
Tonight, again sweating figuratively in The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death...
The President saved, for them, the most egregious "playing" in the entire trip.
"I want to tell you this about the decision, about my decision about troop levels. Those decisions will be based on a calm assessment by our military commanders on the conditions on the ground -- not a nervous reaction by Washington politicians to poll results in the media."
One must compliment Mr. Bush's writer.
That, perhaps, was the mostly perfectly crafted phrase of his Presidency.
For depraved indifference to Democracy, for the craven projection of political motives onto those trying to save lives and save a nation, for a dismissal of the value of the polls and the importance of the media... for a summary of all he does not hold dear about this nation or its people -- nothing... could top that.
As if, Sir, you listened to all the "calm assessments" of our military commanders --rather than firing the ones who dared say The Emperor Has No Clothes, and The President, No Judgment;
As if, Sir, your entire presidency was not a "nervous reaction", and you yourself, nothing but a Washington politician;
As if, Sir, "the media" does not largely divide into those parts your minions are playing, and those others who unthinkingly and uncritically serve as your echo chamber, at a time when the nation's future may depend on the airing of dissent.
And as if, Sir, those polls were not so overwhelming, and not so clearly reflective of the nation's agony... and the nation's insistence.
But this President has ceased to listen.
This President has decided that night is day, and death is life, and enraging the world against us, is safety.
And this laziest of Presidents, actually interrupted his precious time off to fly to Iraq to play at a photo opportunity... with soldiers... some of whom will... on his orders... be killed before the year... maybe the month... is out.
Just over 500 days remain in this Presidency.
Consider the dead who have piled up on the battlefield.... in these last 500 days.
Consider the singular fraudulence of this President's trip to Iraq yesterday, and the singular fraudulence of the selling of The Petraeus Report... in these last 500 days.
Consider how this President has torn away at the fabric of this nation in a manner of which terrorists can only dream... in these last 500 days.
And consider again how this President has spoken to that biographer: that he is "playing for October-November"... the goal in Iraq is "To get us in a position where the presidential candidates will be comfortable about sustaining a presence"... and consider how this revelation contradicts every other rationale he has offered... in these last 500 days.
In the context of all that... now, consider... these next 500 days.
Mr. Bush, our presence in Iraq must end.
Even if it means your resignation.
Even if it means your impeachment.
Even if it means a different Republican to serve out your term.
Even if it means a Democratic Congress -- and those true Patriots among the Republicans -- standing up and denying you another **penny** for Iraq, other than for the safety and the safe conduct home of our troops.
This country cannot run the risk of what you can still do to this country... in the next 500 days...
Not while you, Sir... are playing.
Good night, and good luck.
New York Magazine has decided to play 21 questions with Keith Olbermann and hilarity ensues.
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? Fred Merkle. If you can imagine the Bill Buckner play and blame happening to a rookie first baseman for the Mets or Yankees, and the guy coming back to play another seventeen years, nearly all of them in New York, and play on five pennant winners here, you get some idea of this man's mettle.Olbermann is such a Merkle fan that his user name on Ebay is Merkle923.
What's the best meal you've eaten in New York? Either the Three Filets at Quality Meats or the Crusted Tuna at Redeye Grill. But the BLTs at a long-gone deli in Hastings in the mid-eighties could not be defeated.One thing is for sure, whatever Olbermann eats, he's eating plenty of it.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job? I read, and I think, and I write, and then I read aloud, amid about 150 individual deadlines, and often under lights that can melt the skin off your bones.But not that hideous orange man-tan Olbermann sports no matter what the season. And Keith thinks? You sure wouldn't know it from the lack of diversified opinions aired on his commentary program disguised as a news show.
Where do you get your coffee? Occasionally I have some at a restaurant. Otherwise I'm a chai-latte guy.That Keith, always trying to stay hip and happening.
What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?The History Boys. Don't laugh. Before that, it was Amadeus in 1981. I get inexplicably anxious for the actors.No wonder, he identifies with the actors because he is an actor, portraying a (bad) news guy on television.
Do you give money to panhandlers?I have on occasion, but a lot less frequently ever since a day 25 years ago when I saw the pitiable looking woman always camped in front of Bryant Park, pull her pink Cadillac out of an alley across the street.However Keith is totally open to handing over checks to ex-presidents right before an interview, on air.
What's your drink? White Rock 2002 Napa Valley Claret. Bill Murray bought me a bottle. Says the sommelier had brought him the wrong bottle one night. If they're out, a Guinness.Hmm. What happened to Merlot? Guess that's not his favorite drink anymore. Gee, wonder why. And Guineness beer huh? Isn't Olbermann supposed to have a Gluten allergy? Another Olbermann lie?
How often do you prepare your own meals?Do you count cereal? Salad bar at work? If so, once, often twice daily.Funny, for someone eating ceral and salad, Olbermann seems inexplicably fat.
What's your favorite medication? Protonix. I can get asthmatic episodes from acid reflux (and from the current administration). This stuff takes care of the first kind.According to this website, some of the side effects of Protonix include: anxiety, chest pain, dizziness, gastrointestinal disorder, nausea, and rectal disorder. Sounds like what Olbermann himself causes if you ask
What's hanging above your sofa? A map of the U.S. made out of each state's license plates by Aaron Foster.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut? Not competent to answer. I get mine gratis from Mary and Tonya, two gifted hairstylists at work. Toupees aside, there are a lot of things you're not competent to answer Keith but it's good to see you finally admit it.
When's bedtime? With any luck, 1 a.m. I do work nights after all. Sounds exquisite, but as long as I've had that kind of schedule, everybody else in this city has insisted on getting up two to seven hours before I do and apparently conspiring to bring me with them.
Brunch: pro or con? Pro. Norma's in the Parker-Meridien serves it until 3 p.m. I believe I patronized them virtually every day from July 1, 2001, through February 1, 2003. I actually was the only customer a couple of times right after 9/11. Great food, greater people.Again, we're not sure what Olbermann eats but by the looks of his ample backside, he eats plenty of it.
What's your thread count? When they start gettin threads hangin off dem, I toss dem. Oh, youse mean something else.Oh that Keith, he made a funny.
What do you hate most about living in New York?Rent and real-estate prices. And that I was stupid enough not to buy my studio apartment at 55th and Second in 1983 because I feared the concept of a $30,000 mortgage.Yes Keith, we all know how difficult it can be living in a 40th Floor, 4.2 million dollar Trump apartment on the Upper East side.
What's your brand of jeans? Levi's. And he wants them back.Again, with the comedy. Only not so much.
When's the last time you drove a car? 1984. I hit my head on the 7 train at Shea four years prior and destroyed my depth perception while in motion. I did not fully understand this until I took some refresher driving lessons before moving to suburban Boston. And wound up on the sidewalk.Yes we suspect the head injury damaged far more than Olbermann's driving ability.
Who should be the next president? Elizabeth Edwards.Of course it would be a Democrat. We're just surprised he hasn't made a crack about her weight or age yet.
Times, Post, or Daily News? Times. The News is nearly as good as when I read it every day when I was a kid. Is the Post still publishing?Of course he would say the NY Times, that's where his old-buddy, the former TVNewser is now employed.
Yankees or Mets? Very tough. Grew up with the bad Yankees of the sixties and seventies. Worked with Joe Torre in TV in L.A. But the Mets are good people top to bottom. Just to muddy it further, I like the Red Sox, too.More pandering to the audience. You can't love the Mets and the Yankees. And if you're a Yankee, you can't like the Red Sox. Any sports fan knows that. But Olbermann? Clueless.
What makes someone a New Yorker? Not standing gawking in the middle of the busiest sidewalk. And looking before you turn, or start walking backwards.?
And what makes someone a real news anchor? Just do the exact opposite of what Keith Olbermann does and you'll do just fine.
And while we're on the subject of neutering, we found someone else we believe may have a future as a blogger with Olbermannwatch if he actually could stand to watch Olbermann! Mr. Richard Cranium opines as to why he hates Keith Olbermann:
Countdown with Keith Olbermann is described by MSNBC as: "a unique newscast that counts down the day's top stories with Keith's particular wit and style." I believe in this instance, the word, "unique" is a synonym for "bland replica of every other radical left wing show", and I also feel "wit and style" were mistaken for "annoying ass****".
Warning, this guy isn't for the faint-hearted or easily offended. But seriously, tell us what you really think about Keith!
I've looked over some of Keith's arguments, his talking points, his views, and let me say, this man is the opitome of a spoiled 8 year old not getting a new pair of Nikes. Olbermann, who I will now refer to as "dickface" for the rest of this article has a SPECIAL COMMENTS section. In here he pumps more of his bull**** through the airways except they're under the heading, special comments. He basically blames Bush for everything, death of troops, the war being a mess, and tops off all this bullshit by telling Bush he should go fight the war himself if he believes in it so much. What are you, five years old? He's the f****** President of the United States, dickface. The troops serve this country under his leadership, and the majority of them don't sit there and wish him to take their places. They signed up for this type of action, and if they didn't want it, then maybe they should've dodged it like your boy, Bill Clinton. It amazes me how retarded and babyish you democrat nutballs can be when it comes to a political conversation. You would never hear anything good about the war from dickface. Not because it doesn't exist, because it does. It's because if he admits Bush has done some right, has stuck to his guns, has prevailed and not retreated in the face of adversity, then he would be less of a MSNBC ALL-STAR. If we had people like dickface back in the days of the revolutionary war, I'm sure everyone would blame the leaders of the revolt and call them terrorists, traitors, hell, even evil doers of Satan himself. Oh wait, that's what the people of England did call them. . . . It takes sacrifice, blood, lives and time to prevail in the game of War. All your clever lingo, misplaced wit and eager bashing doesn't dispute the facts of the success that is happening in Iraq. Just the recent statements of Iran should be proof to anyone against the War that we are making progress over there. The Iran President Almadinejad wants America out of Iraq, calling it a failed attempt. Saying that Iran and it's neighbors will take over the process of controlling Iraq. Sound good to you, dickface? You want Iran to run Iraq's race to democracy? Didn't think so.
The definition of war just in case you democrats were wondering is 1 a (1) : a state of usually open and declared armed hostile conflict between states or nations (2) : a period of such armed conflict (3) : STATE OF WAR b : the art or science of warfare c (1) obsolete : weapons and equipment for war (2) archaic : soldiers armed and equipped for war
2 a : a state of hostility, conflict, or antagonism. . . . I didn't see anything in there about lollypops and rainbow races, did you dickface? That's because troops, American and other, die in wars. These troops have names, families, dreams, everything that makes each one of their stories seem like the tragedy of all time. It's easy to see some troop die on the television and react, "BRING THEM HOME NOW!!!" but that does what for that troop, or his family? Some want us to lose over there, so they can say, "I told you so." They see any sign of success and rush to point out some recent setback or fire-fight. They wouldn't dare sit there and acknowledge the success of our brave troops. That would be too much for them to acknowledge.
And since we seem to be on something of a theme tonight, there's this, straight from the heart of Loonland, and the brain(?) of Keith's Number One fan, the multi-named, BerryBush, Kathy, Orinenglish, Tru, Dorrie, and Psych101. A little ditty she has written, specifically for her man Keith, who it is rumored, really needs a certain performance-enhancing drug, except in his case, it apparently doesn't work all that well for him.
Viva Viagra Hot-lookin chicks gonna set my soul Gonna set my soul on fire, But that ain't all that's a ready to burn, I gotta get myself up higher! There's a thousand pretty women waitin out there, And they're all livin devil may care, And I'm just the devil gotta get myself my share! Viva Viagra! Viva Viagra! How I wish that there were more Than twelve little hours in the night, Cause if there were only forty more, I could sleep with every woman in sight! Oh, there's Jennifer and Brenda and Anne and Lucille, Donna and Tina and Sue and Camille, All you need is a strong heart and a dick of steel! So Viva Viagra! Viva Viagra! Viva Viagra, with my cock out a-flashin, No more one-armed-pump and crashin All my hopes down the drain, Viva Viagra, turnin day into nighttime, Turnin night into funtime, If you take it once You'll never go limp again! I'm gonna keep on the run, I'm gonna have me some fun, If it leads me on the path to ruin, Cause if my fun lasts for more than four hours, I'll have to call a doctor up soon! I'm gonna give it everything I've got, Ladies, will you please let those slots stay hot, I'm gonna make you shout with every shot! Viva Viagra! Viva Viagra! Viva, viva Viagraaaaaaaaaa!
Last Sunday Keith Olbermann was given the chance to air his left-leaning opinion fest disguised as a news show, Countdown on NBC. What did Olbermann do with his big shot in primetime? He decided to defend Michael Vick! Olbermann's oh-so-not-very-special comment drew quite a few comments from viewers and commentators. Among them, this insightful piece by Gary Krasner in the American Daily.
Krasner begins his brilliant, insightful commentary on Keith Olbermann with an apt comparison to an old episode of the Twilight Zone series.
Given that Countdown garners the lowest ratings of any primetime cable news show, many people probably don't know who he is. The best analog to Mr. Olbermann is the character Oliver Crangle, played by the great actor Theordore Bikel, from the old Twilight Episode, "Four O'Clock". Scifilm.org provides a synopsis of this episode, which first aired on April 6, 1962:".
Mr. Oliver Crangle is on a great crusade: nothing less than the complete eradication of evil from the world! Crangle is utterly dedicated to this great goal. Every day he scans newspapers, listens to radio broadcasts, and otherwise keeps detailed records on vast numbers of people. Those whom he considers weak, evil and unfit are to be destroyed, usually through innuendo, rumor and hearsay. With only his parrot Pete as his friend, he tirelessly pursues his project.Yet now Crangle is on the verge of his ultimate breakthrough. He believes has achieved the power to turn all the evil people of the world into two-foot tall midgets, thus eliminating their threat! At precisely the hour of four o'clock, Crangle will unleash this awesome power on the world. Is Crangle a deranged madman...or does he really have this power? The answers lie in, The Twilight Zone.
That just about sums up Countdown. It's a show which primarily serves the ego of Olbermann---who imagines himself as the current day version of Edward R. Murrow---and whose mission it is to identify political villains for the angry left, to get angry at. I suppose if someone made a remake of this episode, then NBC News Correspondent David Schuster would be best cast as Crangle's parrot, Pete. He and Olbermann would identify Republicans as the evil people, in the nightly Countdown segment, "Worst Person in the World." But as politically correct liberals, they would have to turn them into something other than "midgets."
Krasner then responds, point-by-point, to the updated commentary Olbermann gave on 9/27 re Michael Vick.
OLBERMANN: The crimes for which football star Michael Vick agreed to a plea bargain obviously constitute the overarching horror of the story. But on Friday, Vick somehow managed to make it a little worse while accepting a prison sentence of up to 18 months and acknowledging he bankrolled the entirety of an illegal dogfighting operation. The document he signed stated specifically that he personally did not gamble on dogfights, personally did not receive proceeds from dogfights, and personally, quote, "did not kill any dogs." Suddenly, on top of the crime, here was an admission of guilt that seemed to admit very little guilt. Our third story on the COUNTDOWN, over the weekend, the sports world seemed to collectively demand something more contrite from Michael Vick. The noteworthy aspect of this scandal is that there has been silence from within the sport. Not even the NFL Players Association has commented on the affair, let alone "collectively demand something more contrite from Michael Vick." And this morning, to the surprise of many, he evidently delivered.
KRASNER: First Mr. Olbermann says it was an "admission of guilt that seemed to admit very little guilt." Now he's saying that Vick had "delivered."
OLBERMANN The somber-looking Atlanta Falcons quarterback walking into federal court today in Richmond, Virginia, for the formal part of the conspiracy charges against him, Vick quietly responding to the judge's questions only with, "No, sir," and "Yes, sir," before pleading guilty, the judge reminding him that could mean five years in prison. The prosecutors want a year to 18 months. Vick again answering, "Yes, sir." After a judge scheduled sentencing for December 10, Vick, without a prepared statement, stood alone before reporters and said he wanted to speak from his heart.
KRASNER: What Mr. Olbermann means is that Vick didn't read from a piece of paper. That's all. But this article showed in the first section that it was a carefully-worded, contrived statement---hardly "from his heart."
OLBERMANN: A brief thought on what Michael Vick has done and what Michael Vick has now said, an update of sorts, if you saw my commentary at half-time of NBC's coverage of the Sunday night football game. Those who hate Vick have made no secret they expect the judge at sentencing on December 10th and the commissioner of the National Football League, as soon as possible thereafter, to punish him with the lengthiest prison term, the heaviest fine, the most definite of indefinite suspensions. And here's why they are wrong.
KRASNER:Stop right there. Please take note that Mr. Olbermann failed to red-flag the contrived, self-serving phrases by Vick, which I had described earlier. "Immature acts" include toilet-papering someone's lawn. Torturing and killing dogs and small animals are "inhumane acts." Do you see the difference, sir? And if slamming dogs to the ground until they can no long breath is what Mr. Olbermann agrees is "a terrible thing", then what other acts would he describe as "abhorrent", or "repugnant", or "repulsive", or "inhumane"? And does Mr. Olbermann really believe that Vick's sociopathic behavior can be undone after Vick will "think about in the next year or so"?! And when was the last time Mr. Olbermann ever accepted a mea culpa from a Republican who announced he will seek God's forgiveness and "turned his life over to God"?
OLBERMANN: If you hate him, the equation should be pretty simple: His $130-million-dollar contract is gone.
KRASNER: Mr. Olbermann is disingenuous, to put it mildly. He covers sports for ESPN. He knows that press reports indicate that the Falcon owners claim between $20 and $28 million in roster bonuses may be subject to forfeiture. But no one knows how they came up with that high figure. If converted roster bonus money is not included, and if the 2006 CBA is applied retroactively, the most the Falcons can get is the remaining three years' proration of his $7.5 million signing bonus, which equates to $3.75 million. If the prior CBA does apply, the Falcons can recover $5.75 million. The bottom line is that Vick remains fabulously wealthy.
OLBERMANN: His freedom is gone. His reputation is gone.
KRASNER: But unlike the dogs and small animals he killed and maimed, Vick is still breathing and not missing any meals.
OLBERMANN: We already know what he is. We are now just arguing about the price. And that real price comes due after jail and after the suspension, when Michael Vick tries to return to football in 2010, maybe 2009, but the sooner the better.
KRASNER: Some of you must be scratching your head at this: If Mr. Olbermann really does "know what he is", then why would he say that the sooner Vick returns to football, the better? Because Mr. Olbermann is a guilty white liberal who denigrates blacks through his condescension towards them. They need affirmative action for getting into school, and for being punished for misdeeds. To Mr. Olbermann, Vick and any other black quarterback is another Jackie Robinson---a representative of all the blacks who used to be excluded from the sport. And the lowering of standards for blacks today is the reparations Mr. Olbermann feels---as the ultimate arbiter of what is just---society must pay. Put simply, had Vick been white, this Special Comment would not have been written.
OLBERMANN: No NFL miscreant has been so vilified while an active player, not gunplay and trouble at strip clubs veteran Pacman Jones, not serial batterer and general troublemaker Lawrence Phillips, not turned state's evidence against his friends in a murder trial Ray Lewis, not a drunk driver who killed a mother, Leonard Little, in 1998 and was then arrested anew for driving drunk, Leonard Little in 2004.
KRASNER: This statement is confirmation that Mr. Olbermann does not appreciate the gravity of inhumane behavior that shocks the conscience. Men who are prone to alcoholism or rowdy behavior are driven by neuroses, or sometimes, metabolic or dietary malfunctions. Manslaughter, which was one of the things Mr. Olbermann enumerated, is death that occurs absent of intent. Indeed, it is the result of negligence most often. These things are beyond the victim's control, and most of us understand them, even though we may deem the resultant behavior unpalatable. Even the lowly pedophile is driven by sexual urges, which eclipses the normal empathy he would have for the child's welfare. We understand the power of, and adverse consequences attendant to succumbing to sexual urges. But the ability to intentionally, and violently, and with great pain, snuff out the life of an innocent dog is a psychopathology---not a mere neurosis---and one which we have no direct understanding of. It's foreign. It scares us. It is devoid of all compassion, and driven by none of the aforementioned human failings which we can understand, and sometimes experience ourselves.
OLBERMANN: Because even in a football world where just a week ago a scout could still compliment Corey Ivy of the Baltimore Ravens by calling him a, quote, "pit bull with a gold cap," no other crime has been so viscerally felt and reviled and none gone so unforgiven, and a year in the big house or two under suspension will not change that, except to postpone the next enraged protest, for whenever he comes out, whenever he tries to come back, PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and the public's memory of what he did for dogs for the sake of fun and games will come back, as well.
KRASNER: You're all style and flash, Mr. Olbermann. The polls indicate that you are in the minority. The rest of us feel that sports teaches and promotes character and integrity. If we indulge Vick's---and your---desire to restore Vick to the privileged position he once held, we would debase that which sports should represent. Denying a man privilege is a small penalty to save the sport he disgraced. Also, you need a lesson in the meaning of zero tolerance, sir. We reserve that criteria for that which society considers intolerable. We don't tolerate crimes perpetrated against classes of people, known as hate crimes. We impose high penalties to demonstrate that, and deny to the perpetrators any minuscule trace of justification for their actions. Thus, we don't listen to the rationales of anti-Semitic killers, or the excuses from terrorists. The horror of the crime, and the intent, are the distinguishing features. What is important to Vick now is not getting another chance to rejoin the elites. Instead, he needs to acheive personal redemption. Do you now see the difference, sir?
OLBERMANN: Initially, in his convoluted, lawyered-up, and agent-approved guilty plea last week, his "I didn't actually kill any dogs myself; I only told others to" statement, Vick seemed to not understand that his only hope was to absorb and retain as much guilt as possible, that any chance of redemption for him depended entirely on his willingness to take responsibility and blame and punishment. Thus, his statement today, "I want to apologize for all the things that I've done and that I have allowed to happen" was exactly the right start. He did not repeat the nuance and the loophole-filled admission. He did not Pete Rose it.
KRASNER: With due respect, sir, you are wrong on both counts. First, his latter statement was non-specific, and didn't take sufficient responsibility for killing dogs. Second, he surpassed Rose! He carefully chose tame words like my immature acts; I made a mistake; we all make mistakes; bad judgment; bad decisions; a terrible thing to describe his actions. He avoided uttering the obvious and appropriate terms "inhumane", "unconscionable", etc. Words that the press and public were attributing to him for weeks. So he at least knew what he was, even though he couldn't come clean with the appropriate words to describe what he did---your delusional interpretation notwithstanding.
OLBERMANN: And now comes the tough part. Don't get me wrong. He is Michael Vick, not Michael Victim. But if you think him evil, you should still be rooting for him to be returned to football as soon as possible, returned from the Hell of incarceration and the Hell of suspension to the Hell of life as Michael Vick, would-be quarterback, pleading for a pro job while the hounds of public approbation are nipping at his heels.
KRASNER:: A callous choice of words. Hounds nipping at his heels, Mr. Olbermann? Are you sure you wish to use that analogy? And as a callous, angry person that you are, it is natural for you to feel that this is about punishing Vick, as opposed to protecting the integrity of the sport. Because it is your inclination, sir, week after week, drenched in your own sanctimony, to vilify and punish all who you deem evil, as had Theodore Bikel's Mr. Oliver Crangle. Vick is not evil. He is to be pitied. He has a human failing---something that is missing. It's a something that makes the rest of us human. Some people are color-blind. Vick is blind to compassion.