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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
The ever yapping and fearsome Keith Olbermann barked another predictable opening spiel. "Reign of Terror" by the Director of National Intelligence. The "full court press to let the administration do whatever it wants." White House trying to terrify the congress. "Phony intelligence" that the White House is using to show threats against Congress itself. "Mr. Bush" wants an endless war and is sending back channel advice to "Senator" Clinton. St. Rudy's "fundraising tragedy." 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 and 9/11. Halo 3 nerds unite. Olbermann's on the story! Thank the Lord. "What the hell is Halo 3?!" cries Keith. Here comes the answer!
#5: "The so called patriot act." It's 'not patriotism' and the 'protect america act' has 'nothing to do with protecting Americans but really for the White House to 'operate outside the law.' The White House is going to 'scare the Democratic majority into compliance.' "It has worked before," laments Olbersturmfuhrer. Shaking his head furiously, Olby continues to whine about the evils of Mike McConnell. Clip of Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA-critic). "Thanks for sticking up for the constitution, Senator." "No matter how moderate, he is STILL A REPUBLICAN." Oooooooh. Gotcha! What are you saying their, my little terrier? That all Republicans are evil, even if they're "moderate" by OlbyPlanet standards? Sure seems that way. Another "example of the White House doing something because it can." Clip of Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) question Director McConnell. Howie Fineman comes in from the cold after being replaced by Dana Milbank. The Yapper wonders if Congress has looked at a calendar lately as FISA doesn't expire until February. Ooooh - gotcha again Congress! Gives Fineman a chuckle. Fineman's in New Hampshire, "Live Free Or Die." A relevant quote to this debate, apparently. Bloated question follows about prior FISA activities. The "Democrats may realize the administration is a lame duck and grow a spine, among other things." [Ding!] penis joke. Fineman reaches some weird conclusion about how New Hampshire is a libertarian state - so the Democrats should go there to stand up to the administration. More advice to Democrats from political analyst and operative Olbermann. He asks why they don't run on a kind of libertarian platform. Howie rebuffs Olbermann's moronic question by saying it's a touch more complex than he makes it out to be. Great thanks.
Interview with Hawk-turned-anti-administration Democrat Con. Jane Harman (D-CA)(lambasted by the DailyKos kiddies - add her to the list!). Surprisingly, she praises McConnell's knowledge and eschews bipartisanship. Oh wait, Konspiracy Theory about how the White House made up a potential attack on the Capitol. She doesn't call it that, but we get a sigh out of Olby right after she tells about it. Sen. Lott is part of the Konspiracy. Suggestion that the White House is engaged in terrorism (Fat Ass gives us a definition of it then asks if that's what the White House is doing). Harman pats herself on the back for voting against a certain piece of legislation. "Is our freedom at greater risk from terrorism or those who are trying to exploit it?" Mmmhmm. Powerful questioning from the all knowing and non-liberal Keith. Great thanks.
St. Rudy would trademark 9/11 if he could.
#4: The President is offering back channel advice to Senators running for Prpesident. Clip of "Mister" Bush at the U.N. Talk about "right wing" reporter Bill Sammon (Keith is not a left wing writer). Laughing Eugene Robinson comes in to discuss the "damndest" thing they've ever heard. The President wants to besmirch our reputation and further deepen us into a "quagmire" suggests Robinson. He also thinks the President is delusional. Richard Nixon reference [Ding!]. Robinson thinks no one would continue any of Bush's policies. Hauptmann gives Robinson a back hand for comparing Bush to Churchill (don't say ANYTHING nice or even IMPLICITLY nice about "Mister" Bush on OlbyPlanet) and goes on about how Churchill was right because he was the "last man standing." That and he had forty years prior experience. Bad analogy, according to Der Fuhrer. "Is there a political rat to smell?" wonders Oralmann. Robinson sounds like he's in a room with laughing gas because he can't stop from giggling like a deep voiced schoolgirl.
Oddball: Sunoco station hold up by female ninjas. White koala bear. Laughing Stagehand laughs. People race lawn mowers. Without 9/11 Rudy Giuliani would have nothing to say - "that's well established." Feeding the Olbsession, Bill - O does something.
Best Person in the World: Dana Perino, the Bornean Orangutan, Rodney Rogers impersonates King Salomon. Keith throws paper.
#3: "Mr. 9/11." Christ, does this guy ever stop with the Misters? Keith declares Giuliani is exploiting 9/11. Olby suggests Giuliani charge the amount equivalent to the people who died on 9/11. Loony left fiend Alter plays the usual parrot and has nothing original to say. Alter thinks Keith made a good point about St. Rudy holding the fundraiser in Palo Alto because they didn't suffer as much as those in D.C., Shanksville and NY. St. Rudy doing well where 9/11 24/7 is going over nicely. Somehow Rudy's wife matters because she called him during fundraisers. Whatever. Giuliani running to be President of 9/11 - Alter. Amen to Alter. Great thanks.
#2: Commercial using Larry Craig "lending a helping hand to his fellow man." Stalls of Justice. The group behind the commercial is critical of PACs who gave money to - gasp - Republicans! Like - Saxby Chambliss! Do you think they gave any to Democrats? Never! No Democrats ever support the farm bill! Not like the 50 Senate Democrats who voted for the 2002 Farm bill! No mention on Olby Planet.
Keeping tabs: Kiefer arrested for drunk driving. Cloony in a motorcycle accident.
#1: Halo 3. Whoopee.
In the Media Matters minute, Congressman Duncan Hunter (R-CA), for wanting to cut off funds to Columbia for allowing the Iranian dictator to speak there. One of Olby's lackeys' favorites, ThinkProgress. According to Der Fuhrer, Congressman Hunter is like the Iranian dictator because they do things like that in Iran - cut off funds for doing things the government doesn't like. No, Fat Ass, they hang them. Ugh. O'Reilly doesn't like what far left smear group MediaMatters is doing. Bill-O wins the gold, for criticizing Columbia for inviting the Iranian dictator but offered Mahmoud a place on The O'Reilly Factor. It's a two-fer, for O'Reilly and ThinkProgress. Apparently, H/T to Newshounds. Blueblogapalooza.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's came in at a stellar #21,000 on amazon.com, but "Culture Warrior" is #2,343. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) The OlbyTome still can't find a rank at Barnes and Noble; O'Reilly's book is #1,942 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Monday's Hour of Spin put olby back in second place overall and in that "key demo." Source. Worth mentioning that Mr. Bill's money demo nearly double Olby's, as usual. Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 6 [ELEVATED]