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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the trademark opening spiel: The Petraeus report, protesters, "a cheap sales job", and the American government "in crisis" [Ding!]. Plus Larry Craig (yet again!), Britney, and more. It's another Monday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: The mic didn't work at first for Petraeus, and that was a "metaphor" [Ding!]. Clips of the mic not working. Petraeus "made the claim" that his words "were entirely his ooon". Sounds like Bathtub Boy is getting ready to attack the US military again, doesn't it? Sure enough, recent events "hyped endlessly" had "nothing to do with the surge". KO cited a vague statement from six months ago as his "proof" (Blue Blog Source: AmericaBlog). Clip of Gary Ackermann (D) hectoring Petraeus. Clips of (R) Congressmen questioning the general? Zero. On-screen graphic: "Four Star Spin". The Pundit for All Occasions parrotted OlbySpin even when KO brought up the "General Betray Us" ad from moveon: the best they could do was "attack the left wing".
Stop the tivo! Where was Herr Olbermahn's outrage over a decorated General being attacked, his patriotism impugned, with the implication that he was a Benedict Arnold and a traitor? Hasn't Olby railed against people for "impugning" someone's patriotism? Let's check the record:
Of course, it's perfectly acceptable for Keith Oralmann to inpugn the patriotism of Republicans, as when he called the current administration un-American, or when he said "Mister" Bush favors politics over patriotism. Perhaps this is why he did not get all indignant, he did not do a special education komment against moveon.org for smearing Gen Petraeus with the implication that he is a traitor. Well maybe he'll put moveon in the "worst person" segment. We'll see, but don't bet your house on it.
But we digress. Howie got Great Thanksed and after an O'Reilly falafel reference (attack #292) it was on to #4: Petraeus is just a spinner and a salesman, and to drive it home Monkeymann brought on a true expert: ultra-left drama critic Frank Rich. Petraeus's appearance? A "pre-fab sales job". We don't have to accept his report. Olby said it's "another sales job" coming up re Syria and Iran, and sure enough the theatergoer went right along. Olby came up with one of his classic smears: Petraeus is a "once-respected" military leader. Yeah, we couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. A few words about Colin Powell plus Olby begging to find a way to cut off funds for the war, as requested by Usama Bin Laden, the show reviewer got Great Thanksed.
After another O'Reilly attack (with loofah [Ding!]) in which KO used nonstandard ratings to concoct a nonexistent demo win over the eevil Mr Bill (see below for the truth), we finally came to #3: another meeting of the Olbermann Criminal Rehabilitation Project, with its star pupil, John Dean. Richard Nixon [Ding!]. VietNam [Ding!]. Again Olby repeats UBL's plea for Democrats to act. Two more Nixon references [Ding!][Ding!]. Neocons [Ding!]. VietNam [Ding!]. Nixon [Ding!]. The felon himself got to speak, and it was the usual tripe. The government is "broken", yada yada. Same old, same old. Olby claimed Bush got us into war "without bothering to consult the legislative branch". Gawd, is he really this idiotic? Is he actually this dense? Hey Bathtub Boy, have you forgotten that the Congress debated on and voted approval for military action? How in the wide world of sports can that possibly be called "without bothering to consult" Congress? Are you really this ignorant and stupid? Apparently so. The disbarred lawyer went on to echo Bin Laden again, and as a reward he was Great Thanksed.
#2: Larry Craig; #1 Britney Spears. In the Media Matters Minute, Brit Hume of "Fox Noise" [Ding!] (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters), John Gibson and Greg Gutfeld of "Fox Noise" [Ding!], and Andy Card (R). Note: we address the smear of Gibson and Gutfeld in a separate post. There's just too much Olby goodness to squeeze in here.
Dogs That Did Not Bark: We're now into the, what, the second week of the Hsu (D) fundraising scandal. And on OlbyPlanet, it remains The Great Story Never Told. The latest is that Hillary Clinton (D) now has to give back nearly a million dollars scarfed up for her by the discredited criminal bagman. Yet we all know where Keithy keeps his head, and it may be smelly in there, but that's where Hillary wants him, and he's happy to oblige.
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #29,037, while "Culture Warrior" is #4,244. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble seems to have given up even trying to find a ranking for the dud OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,808 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Keefy, true to his tradition of hyping the nonexistent, made it a point to crow over his Friday night ratings, where, he says, he beat Bill O'Reilly. Um, the truth: Keith Oralmann lost again to the eeevil Mr Bill both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo". Tonight's MisterMeter reading: 4 [GUARDED]