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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Guest Host: Some Anchorette Who Did Not Identify Herself
Tonight hundreds of loon hearts are broke,
Krazy Keith is not on--that's no joke.
After he smeared Petraeus,
Said the guy would betray us,
He ran home to his bathtub to soak.
Today there was major breaking news involving the theft of sports memorabilia. Sports memorabilia! That's the only area where Olbermoronn can make any claim to expertise, and he takes the night off. Oh, the irony.
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters ten times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC six times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -20 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is#26,508, while "Culture Warrior" is #2,015. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,802 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. Oh, and the new "trend" of Monkeymann beating the eeevil O'Reilly? Not going so well. Thursday wasn't even close either in total viewers o in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".