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"COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN" (8:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M. ET)
Host: Keith Olbermann
Keith Oralmann bellowed the opening spiel: John Boehner drooling, Blackwater's "mercenaries", Republicans are racists, Barry Bonds, and more. Get out the no-doze. Hey, if Krazy Keith can phone it in, so can we. It's casual Friday at Olbermann Watch.
#5: Those Democrats are actually losing votes on their Iraq legislations due to "obstructionist Republicans". Clip from Levin (D), clip from Webb (D); clips from (R) Senators: zero. The Wolffe Man simpered that Bush's plan is just "a rewwz". Olby wanted a show filibuster, with cots etc, and Wolffie had to remind him they already tried that in July. Reference to swiftboats [Ding!]. Again Edward R Olbermann deftly avoids mentioning his complicity in the "betray us" debacle. Great thanks.
Clip of Levin (D) explaining why he voted to criticize the moveon ad. Uh-oh, someone is about to get spanked. "Manufactured outrage". "Echo chamber". "Lunatic right-wing fringe". O.K. Soltz of the Huffington Post was there to divert the subject to McCain, Cleland, swiftboats [Ding!] and praise "freedom of speech". Olby brought up a nonexistent movie ("Mr Smith Comes to Washington") as Soltz rushed to defend Harry "The Body" Reid. Yet again, Herr Olbermann neglected to mention his complicity in the "betray us" smear. Great thanks.
#4: Blackwater in Iraq. Contractors responsible for "Sunday's slaughter" of innocent civilians. Has John Murtha spoken out on this yet? Jeremy Scahill from the far-left (though not identified as such) Nation magazine laid the blame at the feet of--ta da!--"the Bush administration", and Dan Olbermahn immediately joined in. It's the "radical right-wing evangelicals" said Nation guy, and you know Olby didn't mind that at all.
#3: Republicans are hypocrites. No wait, they're racists. Oh hell, they're both (Blue Blog Source: Daily Kos, Monkeymann's favorite charity). Reference to "Fox Noise" [Ding!]. To drive home the bankruptcy of Edward R Olbermann's "journalism", he baldly lifted two block quotes right off the Kos page! Talk about phoning it in. Why doesn't A-Mess-NBC just hire Markos to read his own webpages and eliminate the middleman? Olby suggested that Republicans want to reverse integration, and Eugene R was happy to chuckle along with that bizarre notion. They both begged Democrats to please take this up and call Republicans racists, and do it now! The only thing missing was the tagline: "I'm Howard Dean of the DNC, and I approved this message."
#2: Britney Spears "breaking news", Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan. #1: Barry Bonds and his baseball. In the Media Matters Minute, runner-up: Rush Limbaugh (Blue Blog Source: Media Matters); worst: Glenn Beck (Blue Blog Source: Think Progress...man, this was lifted almost word-for-word; more phoning it in!).
If it's Friday, it's our weekly assessment of Krazy Keith's masculinity. Over this 2-day week Monkeymann attacked Fox and other broadcasters seven times. Olby's source (Media Matters) criticized MSNBC three times, but again, Keithy protected his corporate masters with zero criticisms. That makes this week's Olbermann Manhood Quotient: -14 [limp].
Olbermann's book The book that bears Olbermann's name is #16,123, while "Culture Warrior" is #3,638. (It's that 2-for-$25 sale!) Barnes & Noble still can't find a ranking for the OlbyTome; O'Reilly's book is #1,795 there, and is one of the top five books of 2006 per Publishers Weekly. No KO lying on tonight's Hour of Spin about beating Mr Bill. Thursday wasn't even close, as the infamous, deplorable Keith Olbermann could do no better than a miserable third place, both in total viewers and in the coveted, pivotal, much-beloved, critical, all-important "key demo".